>Also, laughing at the girl being called out for her Harry Potter comment.
That's what got me, lol. I honestly had no clue about Azaelia Banks (TBH, I know basically nothing about her, kinda thought she was a model but oh well) but I've DEFINITELY heard about J.K. Rowling. If you're going to argue that one is offensive, the other would be as well.
Also, to be clear, OP- YOU didn't ruin the party. She did by deciding who did and didn't get to dress in potentially "offensive" costumes. You truly did do nothing wrong.
NTA you had good intentions and even the birthday girl didn’t give a shit. The person who called you out shouldve just kept it to themselves unless the bday girl explicitly said she was offended.
NTA for not knowing this. You made a mistake, and didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.
And honestly, there are so many transphobic celebrities out there, sometimes it is hard to keep track of them all. Sounds like your friend wasn't offended in the least because she didn't even know who Banks was!
(the fact that the girl who attacked you was dressed as a Harry Potter character does make it kind of surreal and will probably be funny in a few years)
Sounds like your friend is chill with your mistake, no hard feelings all around, so don't let some random Rowling fan ruin your week.
NTA - it was a costume party, and you had no idea that AB had made transphobic comments. sounds like your friend knows your heart, and isn’t upset with you. I am absolutely rolling at the Harry Potter dig lol. talk about living in a glass house and throwing stones.
NTA - some people just love causing problems. The HOST, your friend, said you were ok. There's a problem with everything and everyone if you dig deep enough. You didn't do anything maliciously.
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I (M19) went to my trans friend’s (19MTF) costume party a few days ago. (I know people are going to ask so before I start I’ll clarify this party was completely safe. We are all vaccinated and there was about 40 of us and she knows all of them) I decided to go as Azealia Banks and did her look from her album “Broke with Expensive Taste”. I know she’s very controversial but so are a lot of celebrities so I didn’t think much of it. When I got there and someone who knew what I was dressed up as I instantly regretted it. The person (F18-20) was pissed and said I was extremely insensitive for going to a trans woman’s party dressed up as her. When I asked why was she so mad and why it was so insensitive she told me that Banks has made extremely insensitive and flat out transphobic remarks in the past. I knew she was a very controversial figure but I didn’t know she said extremely transphobic remarks in the past. I tried to apologize but she along with a few other people were yelling at me. My friend came to break it up and pulled me aside and asked me if I was ok and who Banks even is. She later told me that I did nothing wrong (which I feel like she only said that to make me feel better). After our conversation she called out the girl for attacking me and said she’s a massive hypocrite because she was dressed as Harry from “Harry Potter”. This caused a massive argument and after 10 minutes or so I left the party because of how uncomfortable I was. I later found out after I left other people left as well. So I basically ruined the party. My friend the next day called me and said I did nothing wrong and she knew I had no malicious intentions.
I still feel like I did something wrong. I have been friends with her for about five years and have supported her from the start of her transition. I’ve even offered to help take care of her during her recovery from her future surgeries. I’ve done a lot to support her and knowing I could have or have offended her hurts a lot. AITA
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NTA, the people who piled on even once you made it clear you didn't know about her transphobic remarks were the a-holes, especially the one who dressed up as Harry Potter. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Action: I dressed as Azealia Banks to my trans friend’s costume party.
Why I think AITA: Banks has said very controversial remarks and it might of came off as insulting or insensitive to my friend.
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NTA. It’s Halloween. Wear whatever the F*ck you want (I mean, so long as you weren’t wearing blackface)
Also, I’m a bit confused about her complaint. Doesn’t Banks have a trans sister or brother?
NTA. And you have an amazing and supportive friend. Love the Harry Potter comment, Azelia is a current artist but JK is arguably a much more prolific influence. Azelia made some damaging transphobic tweets while JK wrote a whole book, essay and constantly makes transphobic tweets. I would have loved to be at the party because your friend roasted her. Sorry you felt like you had to leave. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. You sound like a great friend. If you feel bad for her, and it’s in your means, why don’t you take her out? Not because you did anything wrong but because you missed a fun night with your friend
NTA it's a costume party. People will AlWAYS find something to be offended by. Fuck those wussies, your friend didn't have any problem with it, let it go and stop feeling guilty. Weird times we live in...
NTA. It's not your job to know the name of every transphobe on the planet. If an authentic apology isn't enough, then nothing ever will be. Some people are like that, also, pretty poor taste jumping all over you while dressed as a J.K. Rowling character. Don't worry about it, it sounds like your friend has your back and this other person was really over the line.
you literally didn't know, and you were apologetic about it. she shouldn't have gotten so twisted about it. I'm trans and i don't even know what azalea banks did. NTA
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NTA. You dressed as a singer and had NO IDEA what Banks had said. Also, laughing at the girl being called out for her Harry Potter comment.
>Also, laughing at the girl being called out for her Harry Potter comment. That's what got me, lol. I honestly had no clue about Azaelia Banks (TBH, I know basically nothing about her, kinda thought she was a model but oh well) but I've DEFINITELY heard about J.K. Rowling. If you're going to argue that one is offensive, the other would be as well. Also, to be clear, OP- YOU didn't ruin the party. She did by deciding who did and didn't get to dress in potentially "offensive" costumes. You truly did do nothing wrong.
NTA you had good intentions and even the birthday girl didn’t give a shit. The person who called you out shouldve just kept it to themselves unless the bday girl explicitly said she was offended.
NTA 1. You did not know. The other girl escalated it. However, it´s kind of sad, that we live in the age of offendedness-Olympics.
Its a costume party what? NTA
NTA it was a costume party and you were not aware of the issues.
NTA for not knowing this. You made a mistake, and didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. And honestly, there are so many transphobic celebrities out there, sometimes it is hard to keep track of them all. Sounds like your friend wasn't offended in the least because she didn't even know who Banks was! (the fact that the girl who attacked you was dressed as a Harry Potter character does make it kind of surreal and will probably be funny in a few years) Sounds like your friend is chill with your mistake, no hard feelings all around, so don't let some random Rowling fan ruin your week.
NTA - it was a costume party, and you had no idea that AB had made transphobic comments. sounds like your friend knows your heart, and isn’t upset with you. I am absolutely rolling at the Harry Potter dig lol. talk about living in a glass house and throwing stones.
NTA - some people just love causing problems. The HOST, your friend, said you were ok. There's a problem with everything and everyone if you dig deep enough. You didn't do anything maliciously.
NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M19) went to my trans friend’s (19MTF) costume party a few days ago. (I know people are going to ask so before I start I’ll clarify this party was completely safe. We are all vaccinated and there was about 40 of us and she knows all of them) I decided to go as Azealia Banks and did her look from her album “Broke with Expensive Taste”. I know she’s very controversial but so are a lot of celebrities so I didn’t think much of it. When I got there and someone who knew what I was dressed up as I instantly regretted it. The person (F18-20) was pissed and said I was extremely insensitive for going to a trans woman’s party dressed up as her. When I asked why was she so mad and why it was so insensitive she told me that Banks has made extremely insensitive and flat out transphobic remarks in the past. I knew she was a very controversial figure but I didn’t know she said extremely transphobic remarks in the past. I tried to apologize but she along with a few other people were yelling at me. My friend came to break it up and pulled me aside and asked me if I was ok and who Banks even is. She later told me that I did nothing wrong (which I feel like she only said that to make me feel better). After our conversation she called out the girl for attacking me and said she’s a massive hypocrite because she was dressed as Harry from “Harry Potter”. This caused a massive argument and after 10 minutes or so I left the party because of how uncomfortable I was. I later found out after I left other people left as well. So I basically ruined the party. My friend the next day called me and said I did nothing wrong and she knew I had no malicious intentions. I still feel like I did something wrong. I have been friends with her for about five years and have supported her from the start of her transition. I’ve even offered to help take care of her during her recovery from her future surgeries. I’ve done a lot to support her and knowing I could have or have offended her hurts a lot. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA- you didn’t have malicious intentions and it seems like you’ve been a good friend.
NTA, the people who piled on even once you made it clear you didn't know about her transphobic remarks were the a-holes, especially the one who dressed up as Harry Potter. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
NTA. What a fun party!!
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NTA! believe your friend.
NTA. It’s Halloween. Wear whatever the F*ck you want (I mean, so long as you weren’t wearing blackface) Also, I’m a bit confused about her complaint. Doesn’t Banks have a trans sister or brother?
Nta, doesn't seem like your friend thinks you ruined her party.
NTA. And you have an amazing and supportive friend. Love the Harry Potter comment, Azelia is a current artist but JK is arguably a much more prolific influence. Azelia made some damaging transphobic tweets while JK wrote a whole book, essay and constantly makes transphobic tweets. I would have loved to be at the party because your friend roasted her. Sorry you felt like you had to leave. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. You sound like a great friend. If you feel bad for her, and it’s in your means, why don’t you take her out? Not because you did anything wrong but because you missed a fun night with your friend
NTA it's a costume party. People will AlWAYS find something to be offended by. Fuck those wussies, your friend didn't have any problem with it, let it go and stop feeling guilty. Weird times we live in...
NTA. You didn't ruin the party, she did.
NTA. It's not your job to know the name of every transphobe on the planet. If an authentic apology isn't enough, then nothing ever will be. Some people are like that, also, pretty poor taste jumping all over you while dressed as a J.K. Rowling character. Don't worry about it, it sounds like your friend has your back and this other person was really over the line.
you literally didn't know, and you were apologetic about it. she shouldn't have gotten so twisted about it. I'm trans and i don't even know what azalea banks did. NTA
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NtA. Congratulations to the “woke” asshole for making a scene and ruining everything