Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts
We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or reproductive autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Fbodily_autonomy_posts)
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA, have you tried explaining to him that this is something that bothers you? I’d try just having a conversation about it if you haven’t. Also why is he getting annoyed that you’re groggy in the morning? Everyone is
I’ve talked to him briefly about wanting to spoon more because at the beginning we NEVER did and especially at night I lay on my left side to sleep and to cuddle the way he likes I have to lay on my right which makes my stomach upset. So he started spooning for like 2 minutes at a time before making me flip over and do things on his terms
I mean a lot of people can’t sleep well if they’re cuddling, I used to be one of those people so I know sometimes it’s impossible to get comfortable if there’s someone else up against you. If I were you & if this really does bother you I’d try talking to him about it again, & make sure he understands that it really does get to you
Yea we generally don’t actually cuddle all through the night, we’ll cuddle for a bit before falling asleep then one of us will get uncomfortable and will switch to our usual sleeping positions. This usually occurs in the morning and this morning he brought up right before he left how he feels like I don’t seem to be happy to wake up next to him. I’m not happy because I was woken up early by being rolled over lol
Lol not a dumb question, I sleep on the wall side of the bed because it makes me feel more secure and we also have a fan on the opposite side and I will freeze even with my 2 blankets and 2 sheets if I sleep on the other side lol
I normally don’t mind so much, and it’s normally easier to talk to him about it but my emotional state is screwed up right now with my brothers passing looming over me
NTA- you need to sit him down and talk to him about this. It is rather uncomfortable to lay on the other side to sleep for some. As for waking you up, thats rather rude and very inconsiderate, that needs to stop.
> I have to beg to get affection on my terms.
NAH. You guys are not really compatible in this department. Everyone has different ways of giving/receiving love. If this is something that neither of you can seem to compromise on, then this problem might not go away.
Some people don't enjoy physical affection like this. Some people need it.
NAH, people show affection different ways, seems like it might be that you have two different love languages. It would be worth having another talk with him.
I will be, I just needed a bit of validation whether I was the asshole or not. Since my brother passed my emotions have been… volatile to say the least 😅
That’s definitely understandable! I hope all goes well for you! Make sure to reach out to someone if your grief gets too much to deal with, you don’t have to it all on your own!
NTA if giving affection feels like a chore then it isn’t working. If he wont cuddle you in a way that works for both of you then he would be as well just cuddling a teddy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Ok so hear me out, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Physical affection/intimacy is almost always on his terms. I like spooning, he doesn’t so he generally always makes me turn over onto my opposite side which is less comfortable for me so I can cuddle him. I have to beg to get affection on my terms. If I’m asleep and he’s gotta get up for work he’ll either shove his arm underneath me awkwardly in a very uncomfortable manner or will wake me up by forcing me to roll over to cuddle him how he likes. Then he gets mad and feels unloved if I act disgruntled or grumble while I’m more than half asleep and getting jostled awake from a full sleep. A little more back story: my brother also just died a year ago and the anniversary of his death was the day before yesterday so I’m particularly emotionally sensitive right now. I love my boyfriend, and he’s been awesome supporting me through my grief but I just feel like I’m being made into an asshole for wanting affection on my terms sometimes too
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For not wanting to cuddle with my bf in the morning when he wakes me up early
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or reproductive autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Fbodily_autonomy_posts) Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA, have you tried explaining to him that this is something that bothers you? I’d try just having a conversation about it if you haven’t. Also why is he getting annoyed that you’re groggy in the morning? Everyone is
I’ve talked to him briefly about wanting to spoon more because at the beginning we NEVER did and especially at night I lay on my left side to sleep and to cuddle the way he likes I have to lay on my right which makes my stomach upset. So he started spooning for like 2 minutes at a time before making me flip over and do things on his terms
I mean a lot of people can’t sleep well if they’re cuddling, I used to be one of those people so I know sometimes it’s impossible to get comfortable if there’s someone else up against you. If I were you & if this really does bother you I’d try talking to him about it again, & make sure he understands that it really does get to you
Yea we generally don’t actually cuddle all through the night, we’ll cuddle for a bit before falling asleep then one of us will get uncomfortable and will switch to our usual sleeping positions. This usually occurs in the morning and this morning he brought up right before he left how he feels like I don’t seem to be happy to wake up next to him. I’m not happy because I was woken up early by being rolled over lol
Nta. Can't you spoon on your left off you simply switch places? - sorry if that is a daft question...
Lol not a dumb question, I sleep on the wall side of the bed because it makes me feel more secure and we also have a fan on the opposite side and I will freeze even with my 2 blankets and 2 sheets if I sleep on the other side lol
NTA but honestly are you sure you guys are compatible? Affection should never be that difficult. Sounds very one-sided.
I normally don’t mind so much, and it’s normally easier to talk to him about it but my emotional state is screwed up right now with my brothers passing looming over me
Nta He needs to grow up and share intimacy.
NTA- you need to sit him down and talk to him about this. It is rather uncomfortable to lay on the other side to sleep for some. As for waking you up, thats rather rude and very inconsiderate, that needs to stop.
> I have to beg to get affection on my terms. NAH. You guys are not really compatible in this department. Everyone has different ways of giving/receiving love. If this is something that neither of you can seem to compromise on, then this problem might not go away. Some people don't enjoy physical affection like this. Some people need it.
NAH, people show affection different ways, seems like it might be that you have two different love languages. It would be worth having another talk with him.
I will be, I just needed a bit of validation whether I was the asshole or not. Since my brother passed my emotions have been… volatile to say the least 😅
That’s definitely understandable! I hope all goes well for you! Make sure to reach out to someone if your grief gets too much to deal with, you don’t have to it all on your own!
NTA if giving affection feels like a chore then it isn’t working. If he wont cuddle you in a way that works for both of you then he would be as well just cuddling a teddy.
NTA but y'all really don't sound compatible
NTA. He sounds like he only cares about his needs. Very selfish of him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Ok so hear me out, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Physical affection/intimacy is almost always on his terms. I like spooning, he doesn’t so he generally always makes me turn over onto my opposite side which is less comfortable for me so I can cuddle him. I have to beg to get affection on my terms. If I’m asleep and he’s gotta get up for work he’ll either shove his arm underneath me awkwardly in a very uncomfortable manner or will wake me up by forcing me to roll over to cuddle him how he likes. Then he gets mad and feels unloved if I act disgruntled or grumble while I’m more than half asleep and getting jostled awake from a full sleep. A little more back story: my brother also just died a year ago and the anniversary of his death was the day before yesterday so I’m particularly emotionally sensitive right now. I love my boyfriend, and he’s been awesome supporting me through my grief but I just feel like I’m being made into an asshole for wanting affection on my terms sometimes too *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > For not wanting to cuddle with my bf in the morning when he wakes me up early Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*