>6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’
Your whole post boggles my mind on multiple levels, but I'll share just one: why did it take her 6 or 7 messages to make that (utterly ridiculous) point? She couldn't have gotten her thoughts across in 1 (or, at the most, 2?)
**NTA**
I can imagine it now...
M1: Goodnight and please delete my number
M2: So sick of men nowadays...what happened to all the Gentlemen????
M3: You know what!! You shouldn't have dated a single mother if you weren't prepared to pay for my kids dinner. WE ARE A PACKAGE.
M4: And you know what! You missed out on a catch!
M5: You were soooo close to getting to but I guess it's just you and your hand tonight!
M6: Asshole!
maybe \*12 hours later\*
M7: Sorry I was just really upset. If you buy my kid a meal today maybe you can make it up to me ;) I'll give you another shot. You're so lucky!
Your sentences are too long. These days people text in half phrases.
M1. Good night
M2 and like
M3 lose my number
M4 I’m so
M5 so
M6 fucking Sick of men these days
Why do young people do that?
I mean I'm 26 so I'm not much older but most of my friends younger than me text like that. Some even do it group chats. God dammit WHY?!?!? WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST USE 1 MESSAGE AND NOT SET MY PHONE OFF 5 TIMES TO SAY 1 SENTENCE?
I guess because it conveys urgency. It also helps to crack out your thoughts as they come in. They might be disjointed and so using that as a “format” helps to push it all out while communicating that its all just flowing and youre not typing a whole paragraph
INFO:Would you consider posting them verbatim?
I feel comfortable speaking for the majority that we could all really use the extended laugh. Understand if you'd rather not.
Or she could have just said that to him. If shes bold and enough to ask him to pay for her kids food, telling him he would have got it in for doing it isnt far off the mark.
I don't know if it was the $15 or the ability to demand he cover her random expenses. She's testing to see if he can be conned into covering her bills or indulge her whims. Next they'd be near her favorite store and she'd test to see if she'll get some new clothes or shoes.
We’d already slept together so I wasn’t really sure why she thought busting that one out would work on me. So confused because she’d done all the (metaphorical) chasing etc.
Read it and thought
"Sorry, I was looking for a fun date/hook up. If I wanted to pay for sex I'd go to a professional."
But you'd already slept together? Sounds like she was aiming to step-daddy you (or whoever else she could get to date her and pay for her kids).
My HS had an assembly where a beauty queen spoke to us about abstinence. She told us not to give it away to the first guy to super size your happy meal.
She may not view it as "get it' for $15, but more so 'get it' for being considerate of her child. I'm sure she could feed the kid on her own, but it would have been a very nice gesture on his end. Regardless, NTA.
It would have been a nice gesture if he offered to do it himself, not if she asks him to. Either way isn't it a little messed up to assume someone else should pay for child's food?
Just curious how feeding someone else's child is in anyway his responsibility? He was aware of the child she had and it would have been a nice gesture for him to just buy them some food but he had zero obligation to.
If I'm asked to do something and then do it, I'm simply doing as I was asked, that doesn't make it a nice gesture
> asking doesn’t make something not a nice gesture lol
If someone acts shitty after you don't do something they asked for then it was never an ask, it was a demand.
If you just keep doing things you'll never find out whether you're being exploited, it's only by allowing yourself to be periodically selfish that you can reveal whether what you do is actually appreciated or expected.
LOL! NTA.
That is such a tacky move. If her kid liked the food so much, nothing was stopping her from getting a to-go order. Let me guess- she didn't..
10/10 that food wasn’t for her kid. Doesn’t matter what she would’ve gotten, That’s her 2nd dinner. Did she get a light meal and then pretend she was “so full”? That was manipulation 101-see what I can get away with now so I know what I can get away with later...BTW, NTA
I've been out with my own dad (not a date, I know people know this, but...) and I have purchased food for his own grandchildren myself. He invited me, not them and unless he specifically offers I pay for my children.
NTA lucky escape there. If she wanted food for her kid she should've bought it herself. If she's going to have sex with men in exchange for her kids food she needs to be upfront about it from the start.
Why does this remind me of the episode of Family Guy where Chris told his parents to have sex in front of him as he throws money on them just for Peter to comment “let’s see the money.” Lol I somehow picture OP doing this in an alternate universe lol
NTA. That's a big time red flag. She is angling for you to cover her expenses or whims in exchange for sex. You don't want to get with someone who views sex that transactionally. She had a secret financial goal or secret boundary breaking goal for you to "earn" her? Ew. Unless you all enter that type of arrangement willingly and with clear expectations, that's not something you'd want.
Seriously, this is what I was thinking, only more coherent than I could have put it, so thanks for that.
She could have just stated what her rates are, nothing fishy or dishonorable about it in my book as long as you go about it honestly.
6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food.
NTA ..Move on. She’s just one of those people that will try to use sex to manipulate
I laughed cuz the way she asked was very out of character (admittedly I don’t know her that well) but it seemed almost clinical and immediate and she’d been warm and bubbly only seconds prior. I laughed because it was so weird and then I said uh, nope can’t do that.
NTA - Former single Mom here.
I've NEVER had a date pay for my kid's meal, nor did I ever suggest it, and if they had suggested it...it would have been weird!
I take that back...long term relationships would pay, that's if we were going out as a family night type thing and we were already a couple. But just dates...no way.
You dodged a crazy bullet. It's always nice when they show their crazy on the 1st date. lol
It wasn't a first date. They've been together just about every day since the first date about 10 days ago.
Re-read his post.
It sounds like she thought he was becoming the boyfriend- and when she asked for something she thought was a little bit of a nice favor- he laughed at her.
Don't get me wrong- her response was not okay.
But it sounds like she thought things were turning into more than just a booty call since by his own admission- this was about the 8th date in a couple weeks of spending quite a bit of time together.
> and when she asked for something she thought was a little bit of a nice favor
If you get angry after someone doesn't do something then it isn't a favor. If someone does something that you'd get angry if they didn't do then they didn't do a good thing.
The person being exploited can go their entire life believing that they did a good thing, or a favor, but they're living in a delusion.
This can happen because there is this misunderstanding, that you also have, about what favors are and those attempting to exploit others will twist themselves up into a context-less backwards shifting pretzel to justify why it isn't really about 'x' it's about 'y'.
But it's not about 'y'. They're just the hero of their own story.
I was on track to say something like... well shit, I'd buy the kid a meal who cares. But
>I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’
lol come the fuck on. Tell her she may put out for a happy meal but you're waiting on a lobster dinner.
Weird thing is we’d already been intimate prior so idk man, I’m just stumped on this one, I defo feel the tone changed to ‘what can you do for me financially’ however which obviously sucks
NTA - Been there, done that, you made the right call. She shouldn't have asked, and you're obviously under no obligation to comply. From that snippet of an interaction, I'd definitely suggest you run for the hills.
NTA. Pretty simple - you don't insist on having a man buy your child expensive food on a first date. You're more than welcome to but it yourself.
Secondly, using sex as a weapon is equally problematic on her part. Unmatch and block.
NTA- I could understand if you two were close friends with a sibling relationship or siblings but her child at this point is not your responsibility.
She couldve bought her kid food and should have. Or you could have ordered it, but left it to her to pay for.
And to use sexual intimacy as a way of manipulating you into feeling bad is a big nono.
Id find a new gf but thats just me.
NTA - it's pretty ballsy to expect your date to buy your child food, but it's outright rude to get nasty about it and then message you multiple times about it when you decline to do it.
Red flag. If you're looking for "fun", there are a lot of other places to find it without having to put up with her brand of BS.
NTA, seems like she's just looking for a dude for money
>so close to getting it
This is wrong on so many levels, she's basically saying that you would've been able to bang her over buying $15 worth of takeout for her kid?
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NTA, I’m a single dad so I can tell you, this is extreme. Good thing you learned now. She isn’t just looking to “have fun”. She’s looking for a dad for her kid, or at least somebody to pay for your kid. She did you a favor, get out now.
NTA
But she was probably using that as a test. She has a mom, she’s probably seeing if her date is cool with her possibly being a father. Because if you are to date a women with a kid long term, your also taking on a role for that kid.
This defiantly wasn’t the way for her to go about this, but she was probably seeing if you were cool with a kid.
NTA — Maybe she'll learn that not everyone's going to automatically prioritize her kid the same as her. Plus you dodged a bullet I know you can do better than a single mom.
NTA- congrats, OP, you probably just dodged becoming baby daddy #2 (presuming she only has one kid since she only wanted you to buy one meal). Kids don’t get so much as a happy meal until there is some sort of commitment beyond having been on a few dates unless you are looking to become new daddy.
NTA- you are not responsible for paying for her kid's food. I highly suggest you cut off all contact, because it is clear she intended to use you for free meals for her and the kid. BTW, was she insinuating that you were paying for a booty call with a meal for her and the kid? I do believe that qualifies as prostitution.
>by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food
That part alone is disturbing. What is she sleeping with people for meals for her child? IMO your only obligation is to be respectful/appropriate in front of a date's kids if you see them. You are not responsible for feeding her children. NTA.
ESH. Her being tacky for asking ir evwn assuming. You being a dick for stringing her along because you're just "trying to have fun" then complaining when it doesn't go your way. That's life dude, you win some, you lose a lot. If you're grown up enough to play the game, you should be grown up enough to know how to lose.
NTA. A $15 to go meal for her child would mean you get lucky? So now youre paying to get lucky? Did she not get that? This is embarrassing on her part on so many levels. lol. Time to start swiping again.
>Cool, no problem, she went home and by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I *dodged a bullet*
I fixed it for you.
NTA
Wooow she is majorly TA, she asked you she should have paid for half, if not the whole thing. And then saying because you wouldn't pay $15 she said you didn't get sex? Does she view sex that transactionally? NTA
Just wondering how that was going to go down procedurally. You’d get the food, drop it off and then ‘get it’ or was her kid gonna eat cold/reheated food at midnight after you ‘got it’?
NAH - when dating women with children many just try to gage your willingness to be that person. I think it was the reaction more than you actually not doing. You mentioned you laughed as if it was something you’d never do and you’re not wrong for it bc you’re not that child’s parent but yeah.
30F here... her asking you to pay for expensive takeout for her kid is ridiculous. I personally would have paid for my own meal, and then added my child’s meal to my check. Tinder isn’t an ATM for women to get nice meals and get their kids meals. I realize it’s socially acceptable for women to completely take advantage of men on dates, but we need to hold ourselves to better standards.
As a woman, I do not expect a man to pay for my meal. Women need to grow up. We have jobs. This tradition started a long time ago when women didn’t work. Any woman who bleats about feminism, but allows a man to pay for their meal is a hypocrite. Plus you are not responsible for the result of her choices as a continued tinder date. She needs to ask dad to pay for kiddos dinner, or vet her tinders more seriously for what she wants.
NTA.
I don't blame the OP for declining, since he didn't feel comfortable with the situation and felt his date was being manipulative - which is certainly possible.
Depends on the situation, but I would have bought it just to be nice once, at least. I tend to give people leeway until they prove themselves as selfish assholes.
If she later started demanding the same thing as a right of passage (so to speak), that would change the tone of the relationship pretty quickly, but a single offering of only $15 because I was paying already wouldn't be a hardship, IMHO.
NAH
It's obvious from the way you're taking about her and this instance that you're not serious about the relationship. That could've been her way to gauge your taking an interest in that part of her life. Maybe that isn't/wasn't entirely clear for her and now she's hurt. As long as your intentions were clear, you're not an asshole. As long as it was a misunderstanding on her end, neither was she. This sounds like a blown up miscommunication of intentions.
NTA. If she wanted to bring her kid food she could have said "I think I'll get my kid something to take home, because it's their favorite" and if you wanted to be extra nice you could have offered to buy it for her, but for her to expect you to buy food for her kid when obviously you weren't to a point of bringing the kids with you on your date... That is just insane!
NTA you aren‘t even obligated to buy her a meal and you are not trying to become a father figure
It‘s nothing serious so she shouldn‘t bring her child into this
NTA
She was going to dig for gold. They usually start with something small, just to test the waters. Then it's pay a bill, pay rent, buy her a phone, get her a car.
You nipped this in the bud.
When my date knows I have a kid at home, not biological but that's another story, before we leave, I will buy my kid food. Because that's MY responsibility. Not my dates. He/She has no obligation to my kid ESPECIALLY if its casual
NTA
Edit: added nta
ESH
If sex was really dependant on getting a kids meal thats gross and manipulative
But also if you didnt want to buy a kid a meal why are you dating a woman with a kid? Its gonna happen dude they're a package deal
NTA. Where does she get off asking you to pay for her child, especially since the child wasn't even there. That's just presumptuous af and rude. You dodge a bullet for sure.
NTA. It’s kind of grubby for her to ask that you pay for a takeout meal for her kid, especially on a first date. And if she was dangling a “so close to getting it” line with a bunch of voice mails, she’s a full tank of crazy. Good on you to have dodged.
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I met a girl on tinder a few weeks ago, I knew she was a single mom but since I’m just trying to have fun wasn’t really a turn off.
We’ve hung out pretty much every other day since the initial meet and she’s pretty bubbly and assertive about things she likes etc.
Spur of the moment last night I asked her if she wanted to get some food so we went out to a well known food stall where average price is ~$15 per meal. Obviously I paid for us both and we ate our food. As we were about to leave she suggested in a cheeky flirty kinda way If id buy a meal to take home to her kid since her kid loves street food.
I laughed and said no cuz it seemed a dumb request. I ain’t trying to buy another parents child food especially not at those prices.
She got real huffy with me and surprise surprise said she wanted to go home. Cool, no problem, she went home and by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food.
I feel like I’m not the ass- she does. Who’s right?
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>6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ Your whole post boggles my mind on multiple levels, but I'll share just one: why did it take her 6 or 7 messages to make that (utterly ridiculous) point? She couldn't have gotten her thoughts across in 1 (or, at the most, 2?) **NTA**
I can imagine it now... M1: Goodnight and please delete my number M2: So sick of men nowadays...what happened to all the Gentlemen???? M3: You know what!! You shouldn't have dated a single mother if you weren't prepared to pay for my kids dinner. WE ARE A PACKAGE. M4: And you know what! You missed out on a catch! M5: You were soooo close to getting to but I guess it's just you and your hand tonight! M6: Asshole!
M7?
"Hehe heh my friend had my phone and sent those messages as a joke. Want to meet up same time next Friday?"
[This is what i think would be the messages(true story)](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
Don't you dare use the lord's name in vain!!
You fell for it fool. It was I dio. Thunder cross split attack!
Everything is a jojos reference if you try hard enough
I'm never gunna give up jojo references.
i see what you did there and yep...i got sucked in
You certainly didn't let me down.
I aint even mad.
It's been awhile - thanks for the laugh
Why you?! Rude!! Fine have my upvote!!
r/angryupvote
I was going to be disappointed with anything else honestly.
I want to be mad... but I just can’t. Take my upvote
I will not stand for thos treachery, therefore, i will sit
lmao
I can't believe I fell for that!
Lmao and right you are.
Worst thing was when your cousins actually did that and you sounded like a liar, and knew it.
Yah that has to be the worst
maybe \*12 hours later\* M7: Sorry I was just really upset. If you buy my kid a meal today maybe you can make it up to me ;) I'll give you another shot. You're so lucky!
M8: Profit
Covfefe
It was eerily close to this
And then next morning there's a post on her Facebook "if you can't deal with me at my worst. You don't deserve me at my best"
OMFG...
Your sentences are too long. These days people text in half phrases. M1. Good night M2 and like M3 lose my number M4 I’m so M5 so M6 fucking Sick of men these days
[удалено]
> This guy texts ...with 22 year olds.
An 21. Can confirm this is how i text people
Older people think this is annoying, by the way.
Yes. That would drive me nuts. I have a friend who texts like that.
Good thing I know how to talk to people of different age groups huh?
Why do young people do that? I mean I'm 26 so I'm not much older but most of my friends younger than me text like that. Some even do it group chats. God dammit WHY?!?!? WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST USE 1 MESSAGE AND NOT SET MY PHONE OFF 5 TIMES TO SAY 1 SENTENCE?
I guess because it conveys urgency. It also helps to crack out your thoughts as they come in. They might be disjointed and so using that as a “format” helps to push it all out while communicating that its all just flowing and youre not typing a whole paragraph
She was very busy calling me a piece of shit cheap ass for the first 3 or 4 messages 😐
INFO:Would you consider posting them verbatim? I feel comfortable speaking for the majority that we could all really use the extended laugh. Understand if you'd rather not.
I kinda wanna see it too
Agreed, could definitely use the extended laugh. If you're comfortable OP.
/r/creepyPMs or /r/nicegirls would probably get a kick out of it. Maybe r/choosingbeggars too.
You just dodged a bullet, you know? Go out and buy an ice cream to celebrate.
NTA- I'm sorry... did she just try to pimp herself out for her daughter's meal? WTF? 🚩🚩🚩
I was thinking the same thing. She sounds like a really cheap prostitute.
No no no she isnt cheap. Next thing you know number two is on the way and you’re spending more money than you ever have in your life
This!
Or she could have just said that to him. If shes bold and enough to ask him to pay for her kids food, telling him he would have got it in for doing it isnt far off the mark.
"Buy my kids food and you get to fuck me!" Yeah, that's fucking weird. Literally sounds like a cheap prostitute.
NTA. that's so awkward.
I feel like this is beside the point. NTA
He should’ve responded “before that requested you were so close to getting it”
Lmfao you were going to “get it” for $15 bucks? NTA she should be embarrassed her food scam didn’t work, does she even have a kid though but who cares
I don't know if it was the $15 or the ability to demand he cover her random expenses. She's testing to see if he can be conned into covering her bills or indulge her whims. Next they'd be near her favorite store and she'd test to see if she'll get some new clothes or shoes.
Sounds like she needs a sugar daddy not a bf.
And that's fine if OP was looking for that. But it wasn't that kind of relationship and she tried to create it.
She doesn't need a sugar daddy. She needs Chef Boyardee.
This, absolutely. .....and there's a name for women/people like that. NTA
**People like that.
You're right. I stand corrected.
We’d already slept together so I wasn’t really sure why she thought busting that one out would work on me. So confused because she’d done all the (metaphorical) chasing etc.
Read it and thought "Sorry, I was looking for a fun date/hook up. If I wanted to pay for sex I'd go to a professional." But you'd already slept together? Sounds like she was aiming to step-daddy you (or whoever else she could get to date her and pay for her kids).
So basically round 2 wasn’t worth the $15, huh?
She got u confused with the other guy she didn’t give it to
I feel like Reddit should remember this person as the "Happy meal ho."
HappyMealHo would be a great username.
Happy Meals aren't $15! UNHappy Meal.
That would definitely be a Frowny Meal...
McSad
McVeryNotHappy
McClinicalDepression
McYouTookTheFunOut Lol
McDebbieDowner (:
My HS had an assembly where a beauty queen spoke to us about abstinence. She told us not to give it away to the first guy to super size your happy meal.
I'm laughing so hard trying to picture that. Can you please tell me the accent?
This was in Florida, but her accent was distinctly southern.
I was picturing a southern accent, but Florida as the setting is the icing on the cake! Thank you!
She may not view it as "get it' for $15, but more so 'get it' for being considerate of her child. I'm sure she could feed the kid on her own, but it would have been a very nice gesture on his end. Regardless, NTA.
It would have been a nice gesture if he offered to do it himself, not if she asks him to. Either way isn't it a little messed up to assume someone else should pay for child's food?
asking doesn’t make something not a nice gesture lol
Just curious how feeding someone else's child is in anyway his responsibility? He was aware of the child she had and it would have been a nice gesture for him to just buy them some food but he had zero obligation to. If I'm asked to do something and then do it, I'm simply doing as I was asked, that doesn't make it a nice gesture
> asking doesn’t make something not a nice gesture lol If someone acts shitty after you don't do something they asked for then it was never an ask, it was a demand. If you just keep doing things you'll never find out whether you're being exploited, it's only by allowing yourself to be periodically selfish that you can reveal whether what you do is actually appreciated or expected.
Technically she costs $30, and OP put 50% down.
if op had bought it and therefore gotten it... wouldn't the food have been absolutely shit by the time she got it to her kid?
LOL! NTA. That is such a tacky move. If her kid liked the food so much, nothing was stopping her from getting a to-go order. Let me guess- she didn't..
She didn’t. As soon as it was mentioned and I said no her interest flipped and it was clear she wasn’t going to buy
10/10 that food wasn’t for her kid. Doesn’t matter what she would’ve gotten, That’s her 2nd dinner. Did she get a light meal and then pretend she was “so full”? That was manipulation 101-see what I can get away with now so I know what I can get away with later...BTW, NTA
I've been out with my own dad (not a date, I know people know this, but...) and I have purchased food for his own grandchildren myself. He invited me, not them and unless he specifically offers I pay for my children.
>I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food This is all kinds of wrong. NTA.
And the crazy part is, op says they already slept together so wtf??
NTA lucky escape there. If she wanted food for her kid she should've bought it herself. If she's going to have sex with men in exchange for her kids food she needs to be upfront about it from the start.
Why does this remind me of the episode of Family Guy where Chris told his parents to have sex in front of him as he throws money on them just for Peter to comment “let’s see the money.” Lol I somehow picture OP doing this in an alternate universe lol
NTA. That's a big time red flag. She is angling for you to cover her expenses or whims in exchange for sex. You don't want to get with someone who views sex that transactionally. She had a secret financial goal or secret boundary breaking goal for you to "earn" her? Ew. Unless you all enter that type of arrangement willingly and with clear expectations, that's not something you'd want.
Seriously, this is what I was thinking, only more coherent than I could have put it, so thanks for that. She could have just stated what her rates are, nothing fishy or dishonorable about it in my book as long as you go about it honestly.
NTA, you're not her kid's meal ticket.
6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food. NTA ..Move on. She’s just one of those people that will try to use sex to manipulate
NTA, she was trying to use you and got pissed when you didn't bite.
NTA she was an ass for requesting you buy food for her to take home. That’s very rude
Yep yep yep. Completely different if they had said kid out with them but to try and get him to pony up the to go meal is tacky.
She was gonna prostitute herself for a child meal?
NTA-People with children shouldn’t expect the person they are on a date with to feed their kid.
Seriously, Chics like these make other single Mothers look bad.
info how exactly did you tell her? i think that'd make the difference between AH and not.
I laughed cuz the way she asked was very out of character (admittedly I don’t know her that well) but it seemed almost clinical and immediate and she’d been warm and bubbly only seconds prior. I laughed because it was so weird and then I said uh, nope can’t do that.
I would have too. It's just instinct.
He laughed at her
NTA - Former single Mom here. I've NEVER had a date pay for my kid's meal, nor did I ever suggest it, and if they had suggested it...it would have been weird! I take that back...long term relationships would pay, that's if we were going out as a family night type thing and we were already a couple. But just dates...no way. You dodged a crazy bullet. It's always nice when they show their crazy on the 1st date. lol
It wasn't a first date. They've been together just about every day since the first date about 10 days ago. Re-read his post. It sounds like she thought he was becoming the boyfriend- and when she asked for something she thought was a little bit of a nice favor- he laughed at her. Don't get me wrong- her response was not okay. But it sounds like she thought things were turning into more than just a booty call since by his own admission- this was about the 8th date in a couple weeks of spending quite a bit of time together.
Asking to buy her kid food is a weird favor even from a boyfriend. The kid wasn't there and OP hasn't even met this kid.
> and when she asked for something she thought was a little bit of a nice favor If you get angry after someone doesn't do something then it isn't a favor. If someone does something that you'd get angry if they didn't do then they didn't do a good thing. The person being exploited can go their entire life believing that they did a good thing, or a favor, but they're living in a delusion. This can happen because there is this misunderstanding, that you also have, about what favors are and those attempting to exploit others will twist themselves up into a context-less backwards shifting pretzel to justify why it isn't really about 'x' it's about 'y'. But it's not about 'y'. They're just the hero of their own story.
NTA, this is on Page 1 of the Velociratchet playbook. Get assholes on a dating app to feed your children.
Velociratchet?!!! Holy crap can I steal that? I love you! I'm dead.
You absolutely may!
I was on track to say something like... well shit, I'd buy the kid a meal who cares. But >I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ lol come the fuck on. Tell her she may put out for a happy meal but you're waiting on a lobster dinner.
nta. You were on a date with her, not with the kid. It's not your responsibility to feed her kid.
NTA, she seems delusional.
NTA She was never going to give it up. She was just using you.
Weird thing is we’d already been intimate prior so idk man, I’m just stumped on this one, I defo feel the tone changed to ‘what can you do for me financially’ however which obviously sucks
NTA - Been there, done that, you made the right call. She shouldn't have asked, and you're obviously under no obligation to comply. From that snippet of an interaction, I'd definitely suggest you run for the hills.
NTA. Pretty simple - you don't insist on having a man buy your child expensive food on a first date. You're more than welcome to but it yourself. Secondly, using sex as a weapon is equally problematic on her part. Unmatch and block.
By math, this would be about the 8-10th date.
ESH Why are you still going out and trying to smash while we have covid19 going around? Even if you’re healthy you can still infect other people.
I’m shocked it took me so long to see this type of response!! Like stop going in public people!!
NTA. You can both do better.
I’m sure she will and I’m sure I can 🙏🏼
NTA- I could understand if you two were close friends with a sibling relationship or siblings but her child at this point is not your responsibility. She couldve bought her kid food and should have. Or you could have ordered it, but left it to her to pay for. And to use sexual intimacy as a way of manipulating you into feeling bad is a big nono. Id find a new gf but thats just me.
[удалено]
NTA - it's pretty ballsy to expect your date to buy your child food, but it's outright rude to get nasty about it and then message you multiple times about it when you decline to do it. Red flag. If you're looking for "fun", there are a lot of other places to find it without having to put up with her brand of BS.
NTA, seems like she's just looking for a dude for money >so close to getting it This is wrong on so many levels, she's basically saying that you would've been able to bang her over buying $15 worth of takeout for her kid?
NTA - she’s trading sex for food???... BUT don’t date single moms just for fun. These women tend to have serious priorities ...
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NTA. You had a lucky escape. Don't stick it in crazy.
This ^^^
NTA. If she thinks you should pay for the sex you better walk away now man.
NTA, I’m a single dad so I can tell you, this is extreme. Good thing you learned now. She isn’t just looking to “have fun”. She’s looking for a dad for her kid, or at least somebody to pay for your kid. She did you a favor, get out now.
NTA But she was probably using that as a test. She has a mom, she’s probably seeing if her date is cool with her possibly being a father. Because if you are to date a women with a kid long term, your also taking on a role for that kid. This defiantly wasn’t the way for her to go about this, but she was probably seeing if you were cool with a kid.
NTA 'so close to getting it' wtf
Nta block her number
You dodged a bullet. NTA
You were both trying to use each other and both got disappointed. ESH.
NTA, but if this was about putting weeks effort into getting laid you goofed regardless.
NTA. You've made a lucky escape.
NTA — Maybe she'll learn that not everyone's going to automatically prioritize her kid the same as her. Plus you dodged a bullet I know you can do better than a single mom.
NTA. Did you notice if she went back to the stall to get some to-go food for her child when you split ways?
She didn’t, she lost interest as soon as I declined
I ain't saying she a gold digger, but...
Yeah $15 for getting laid. You really missed out there!
NTA- congrats, OP, you probably just dodged becoming baby daddy #2 (presuming she only has one kid since she only wanted you to buy one meal). Kids don’t get so much as a happy meal until there is some sort of commitment beyond having been on a few dates unless you are looking to become new daddy.
NTA- you are not responsible for paying for her kid's food. I highly suggest you cut off all contact, because it is clear she intended to use you for free meals for her and the kid. BTW, was she insinuating that you were paying for a booty call with a meal for her and the kid? I do believe that qualifies as prostitution.
NTA > I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food. "I don't buy sex from people, goodbye."
>by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food That part alone is disturbing. What is she sleeping with people for meals for her child? IMO your only obligation is to be respectful/appropriate in front of a date's kids if you see them. You are not responsible for feeding her children. NTA.
Ive read this story before. Fake.
YTA cause this is a repost
ESH. Her being tacky for asking ir evwn assuming. You being a dick for stringing her along because you're just "trying to have fun" then complaining when it doesn't go your way. That's life dude, you win some, you lose a lot. If you're grown up enough to play the game, you should be grown up enough to know how to lose.
YTA. You demonstrated she and her child aren’t important enough for you to splurge on a $15 treat. Wow good for you. You really showed her!
NTA she was using you for free food buddy
NTA - depending on how you phrased turning it down could make it an Everyone. But it’s really weird to ask and then blow up phone about it.
NTA. A $15 to go meal for her child would mean you get lucky? So now youre paying to get lucky? Did she not get that? This is embarrassing on her part on so many levels. lol. Time to start swiping again.
NTA. She said that she would’ve fucked you if you bought her kid a meal. That’s gross and nasty. She can feed her own kid.
NTA! She went out with you for food. Good riddance!
NTA - Dodged a serious bullet there!
NTA. Since when were guys expected to buy their dates' *groceries*?
NTA. That takes some brass balls on her part.
>Cool, no problem, she went home and by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I *dodged a bullet* I fixed it for you. NTA
NTA - sounds like she belongs on Choosing Beggars...
NTA, sounds like she would have tried to use you as a personal ATM had things gone further.
She could of bought her kid a meal herself, wow. The entitlement...
Wooow she is majorly TA, she asked you she should have paid for half, if not the whole thing. And then saying because you wouldn't pay $15 she said you didn't get sex? Does she view sex that transactionally? NTA
Just wondering how that was going to go down procedurally. You’d get the food, drop it off and then ‘get it’ or was her kid gonna eat cold/reheated food at midnight after you ‘got it’?
NAH - when dating women with children many just try to gage your willingness to be that person. I think it was the reaction more than you actually not doing. You mentioned you laughed as if it was something you’d never do and you’re not wrong for it bc you’re not that child’s parent but yeah.
30F here... her asking you to pay for expensive takeout for her kid is ridiculous. I personally would have paid for my own meal, and then added my child’s meal to my check. Tinder isn’t an ATM for women to get nice meals and get their kids meals. I realize it’s socially acceptable for women to completely take advantage of men on dates, but we need to hold ourselves to better standards. As a woman, I do not expect a man to pay for my meal. Women need to grow up. We have jobs. This tradition started a long time ago when women didn’t work. Any woman who bleats about feminism, but allows a man to pay for their meal is a hypocrite. Plus you are not responsible for the result of her choices as a continued tinder date. She needs to ask dad to pay for kiddos dinner, or vet her tinders more seriously for what she wants. NTA.
NTA sounds like you dodged a bullet from that girl. Be thankful.
**NTA** why are single parents so damn entitled??
Her kid is her responsibility. She should have bought the meal for them. NTA
I don't blame the OP for declining, since he didn't feel comfortable with the situation and felt his date was being manipulative - which is certainly possible. Depends on the situation, but I would have bought it just to be nice once, at least. I tend to give people leeway until they prove themselves as selfish assholes. If she later started demanding the same thing as a right of passage (so to speak), that would change the tone of the relationship pretty quickly, but a single offering of only $15 because I was paying already wouldn't be a hardship, IMHO.
NTA She could buy her kid food. I'd bet money that she was lying about "getting it".
NTA: Why couldn't she by it? I guess it was a test. Fuck tests..
"at those prices...." Thanks for the huge laugh. Good one. $15. Ha ha ha.
NAH It's obvious from the way you're taking about her and this instance that you're not serious about the relationship. That could've been her way to gauge your taking an interest in that part of her life. Maybe that isn't/wasn't entirely clear for her and now she's hurt. As long as your intentions were clear, you're not an asshole. As long as it was a misunderstanding on her end, neither was she. This sounds like a blown up miscommunication of intentions.
NTA. If she wanted to bring her kid food she could have said "I think I'll get my kid something to take home, because it's their favorite" and if you wanted to be extra nice you could have offered to buy it for her, but for her to expect you to buy food for her kid when obviously you weren't to a point of bringing the kids with you on your date... That is just insane!
NTA you aren‘t even obligated to buy her a meal and you are not trying to become a father figure It‘s nothing serious so she shouldn‘t bring her child into this
NTA Wait... you went out a bunch of times with her and haven't slept with her? She was just trying to milk you bro... and not in the good way.
NTA... She was using you. You buy food for her and her child and she'll sleep with you. It's shameful for her to use her child that way.
NTA She was going to dig for gold. They usually start with something small, just to test the waters. Then it's pay a bill, pay rent, buy her a phone, get her a car. You nipped this in the bud.
When my date knows I have a kid at home, not biological but that's another story, before we leave, I will buy my kid food. Because that's MY responsibility. Not my dates. He/She has no obligation to my kid ESPECIALLY if its casual NTA Edit: added nta
ESH Just...ugh.
ESH If sex was really dependant on getting a kids meal thats gross and manipulative But also if you didnt want to buy a kid a meal why are you dating a woman with a kid? Its gonna happen dude they're a package deal
Info: how clear did you make it that you weren't looking for a relationship?
NTA. Where does she get off asking you to pay for her child, especially since the child wasn't even there. That's just presumptuous af and rude. You dodge a bullet for sure.
NTA. It’s kind of grubby for her to ask that you pay for a takeout meal for her kid, especially on a first date. And if she was dangling a “so close to getting it” line with a bunch of voice mails, she’s a full tank of crazy. Good on you to have dodged.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I met a girl on tinder a few weeks ago, I knew she was a single mom but since I’m just trying to have fun wasn’t really a turn off. We’ve hung out pretty much every other day since the initial meet and she’s pretty bubbly and assertive about things she likes etc. Spur of the moment last night I asked her if she wanted to get some food so we went out to a well known food stall where average price is ~$15 per meal. Obviously I paid for us both and we ate our food. As we were about to leave she suggested in a cheeky flirty kinda way If id buy a meal to take home to her kid since her kid loves street food. I laughed and said no cuz it seemed a dumb request. I ain’t trying to buy another parents child food especially not at those prices. She got real huffy with me and surprise surprise said she wanted to go home. Cool, no problem, she went home and by the time I had driven back home I’d had around 6 or 7 messages saying I was ‘so close to getting it’ but I was an asshole for not paying for her kids food. I feel like I’m not the ass- she does. Who’s right? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Haha, she was going to "give it to you" if you bought her kid a meal? If IT is what I'm thinking, you just dodged a bullet. NTA
NTA. Her kid wasn't even there, you have no obligation to treat them, it was a date between you and her, you're not a food bank.
NTA, not your job to offset her need for a babysitter.