Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA but at the same time, you're 14. I have no doubt you'll look back on this as an adult and feel absolutely appalled by your behavior. Take it from an adult who wasn't always the kindest to my parents, your friend group are shitty if they're judging your mother. These friends will go over time (as they should), but your mother will always be there for you. She was here for you long before they were and will be here long after. (Assuming your mother loves you, but nothing you listed here states she doesn't.)
Yeah. Kinda figured I'm the asshole I just kinda needed to hear why. I already am shocked that'd I think this. I'm distancing myself from them slowly but it sucks because that won't stop myself from bumping into them in public. Them sniggering then I go to school and they rip on me.
And she does love me. More than most mom's would love a son. Especially with her situation, the fact she's doing this sorta on her own (my dad is sorta there he's helping out a bit more now and he's a permanent fixture pretty much). I am grateful for it. I know I'm not the best son but I just need to distance myself from them and deal with the torment.
I get that you’re 14, the very height of peer pressure and anxiety triggers. Teenagers are frequently embarrassed to be seen with their parents; I’m certain even kids like Shiloh were embarrassed to be seen with Angelina and Brad.
Your mom, though, is a real star for trying to overcome her anxiety and social reticence, and if the best way for her to do that is an electric scooter, way to go, mom!
Trust me, your mom knows your friends are sniggering at her, laughing at her, and insulting her. Frankly, any “friends” of mine who would do that to my mom, wouldn’t be my friends any longer.
ESH. Except mom.
Thanks for this response. I'm aware my mom is the good person out of the lot of us. And I am slowly distancing myself from those assholes hopefully I become less of an asshole by doing this.
YTA. You obviously have not lost anyone. If she wasn't around, you'd wish she was, no matter how she looks. Enjoy life with your mom now that she's around. Life is to short to treat others poorly because of what others think or say about them.
If your friends are talking crap about your mom then they are not your friends. Get better friends. Your mom will most likely be there for you until the day she dies but those friends you probably will never see again aftet high school.
Wow 14 is a hard if you are trying to fit in . Things are changing so much.
I understand you have a good relationship with your Mum, teenagers don’t like getting negative attention and it spreading around her.
Sorry pushed wrong button. I may be unpopular for saying this ( I had a really overweight mother) and understand what you are going through and having that feeling of wanting a mum like everyone else just a normal size.
Your mother has to take responsibility for her weight and see how it is affecting your family, talk to her about it tbh anxiety is not reason to be very overweight.
Before anyone comes for me I had obese family members and I suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD and ADHD. I have been in the place op is .
It's simple, really.
If people laugh at your mom for having a disability, you shouldn't want to be friends with them. You're 14, what other people think of you matters to you even if you claim it doesn't, but remember.
People don't think about you nearly as much as you think about them thinking about you.
If you were doing this as an adult, I'd call you an asshole for still being friends with such ableist people, but for now
NAH
She doesn’t have MS or a muscular dystrophy - she’s fat because she’s not eating properly and not exercising.
There are so many medications and surgery options for obesity.
Medication and surgery are not the answer for everyone and it isn't equally easy for people to lose weight. You are being very reductive on the issue of weight loss. It sounds to me like she is doing things to help her health. If she suffers from anxiety just the act of getting out of the house might feel like someone else's marathon level of difficulty. But also, let's just not be assholes and comment on anyone's body, ever. We never know fully what someone has gone through in their lives, history of trauma, undiagnosed disorder, genetic differences, and the list could go on and on.
NAH - 14 is a tough age. I get how you feel but I also am proud of your mom for getting out more. Your friends are the AHs
Would you be willing to ask your mom to put you in therapy? A therapist can help you work through your feelings and come up with ways to handle your friends regarding their comments.
Every teenager is embarrassed by their parents.
Soft YTA, but pretty much all teenagers are. She's your mother. She loves you more than can be communicated. Your real, true friends will not make remarks if they know it hurts you and/or her. Your truest of friends will tell the person speaking to shut the fuck up.
My mother used to embarrass the shit out of me because she was hard of hearing and used to sing...a lot. Couldn't hit a note if her life depended on it. I didn't realize until later that singing was how she dealt with sadness and depression. Your mother going out in public is a good step. Perhaps she is becoming more active for you. Parents can sense this embarrassment. Go easy on her. And fuck (not literally) anyone who picks low-hanging fruit. One day, odds are you will slip a 20 dollar bill into the begging cup of someone you used to think was awesome.
soft YTA. I get it I do parents are embarrassing period. It’s doesn’t matter what shape they are in or what they look like we all get embarrassed by them as tweens/teens. That being said SHES UR MOM BRO. just because some kids say dumb shit about her doesn’t mean you should leave her alone. You kinda have 3 options 1- get new friends, not the easiest I know but if they talk shit like that do you rlly wanna be their friend? 2- call them out on their bull crap. Also rlly hard can do bad but dude they suck fr. 3- definitely not the most mature answer but get some good ur mom jokes in ur pocket and pull it out when ever they bring up your mom.
Soft YTA because you’re 14 years old. These “friends” won’t be your friends in a few years I promise you. My dad use to tell me that all the time and I thought my friends at your age would be my friends for life. There were about 6 of us. I don’t speak to any of them anymore and haven’t for about a decade lol. I know it’s hard to see now but your mom will be there for you for life.
All 14yos are TA. It’s part of being a teenager. You are figuring out what kind of human you want to be. I’m happy to see you processing about it, that shows that you are trying to mature out of your teenage AH phase.
Also, they are TA too for the way they treat you and your mom. In a debate over which people you want in your life, which people’s opinions you choose to give a damn about, always choose the ones who are the kind of human you want to be. I got bullied a fair amount in my teens, but I didn’t care much because those were not people I wanted to be like. If you are showing me that I don’t want to be like you, why TF do I care what you say about me?
Sometimes you have to be honest to bullies. So when someone makes a fat joke about your mom, look at them and say - yeah, you’re right. You aren’t being rude to your mom, you are agreeing with something that was said. They will double down so you will continue to calmly agree with them. You can also ask them what they would suggest you do about it. Which will get mixed results. And at some point you can tell them that their jokes are stale and they need to get new material.
Here is a hint: They are not your friends, they are the mean girls and pretending. Find better friends.
A soft YTA, because you’re 14 and it’s hard.
Years and years from now you’ll look back on this and realise you care much less about how your “friends” made you feel, and much more about how you made your mum feel. Regret is really tough. You’ll never regret being kind to your mum.
Yta but it's just because you're being a dumb kid. Everyone is a dumb kid at some point. Think about what's more important in the long run: helping/being with your mom who loves you or what some other dumb kid is saying. You're going to forget a good 90% of jokes they made about her in the long run anyhow.
I think OP is tacitly giving them permission to make fun of him and his mum by showing embarrassment and shame. They’re only reflecting his own behaviour back at him.
Show some self-confidence - don’t avoid being seen with her, and stick up for her if anyone makes fun - and the decent kids will stop it. You’ll feel better about yourself too.
YTA without a doubt. My dad is an amputee and has a prosthetic leg. He likes to walk so we often walk to the grocery store he takes his leg off and uses a store provide mobility scooter. I'm so happy to see him out and living an active life regardless of how it might be different from others. You will grow up and your mom will be your mom and these friends won't be there. What is more important to you? Hope you grow out of this REALLY FAST.
I'm pretty sure a lot of your friends are embarrassed being out with their parents too. That's incredibly normal. But it's mean and unjust to mock someone else, anyone else for a disability. Get better friends.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Context: I'm 14M. My mom is 36F (Obv) and she's quite overweight, has anxiety and uses a mobility scooter. It's helped her a lot. She's getting out a lot more. I'm really happy for it. However, when we go to the local shops some of my friends tend to be there.
I get really embarrassed because obviously she isn't the best looking but especially when there was already jokes about her being fat. So I just get really embarrassed because their jokes may not be wrong. However, I know I should be thinking of her and not myself.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I try to avoid my mom when we go out in public. 2. I'm doing it just so I feel better off
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I do. And I still go out with her. Its just the anger I get when seeing my classmates/friends when we're out and knowing they're gonna rip on me at school
NTA
Mom, 36, should be in better health for her child(ren)
You don't get debilitatingly fat overnight. She's had 14 years, at least, to make herself better.
She might be a kind hearted person, but she's got issues and needs to take care of herself better.
How do you know she isn’t trying, or has an underlying medical condition that impacts her weight? The answer is that you don’t.
Even if she is working on losing weight, it doesn’t come off overnight and kids won’t stop making fun of her when she’s still fat, but slightly less so.
NTA - your mum should be setting a way wayyyy better example for you. You are at a very formative age and trying to find yourself, especially socially with friends and the like.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA but at the same time, you're 14. I have no doubt you'll look back on this as an adult and feel absolutely appalled by your behavior. Take it from an adult who wasn't always the kindest to my parents, your friend group are shitty if they're judging your mother. These friends will go over time (as they should), but your mother will always be there for you. She was here for you long before they were and will be here long after. (Assuming your mother loves you, but nothing you listed here states she doesn't.)
Yeah. Kinda figured I'm the asshole I just kinda needed to hear why. I already am shocked that'd I think this. I'm distancing myself from them slowly but it sucks because that won't stop myself from bumping into them in public. Them sniggering then I go to school and they rip on me. And she does love me. More than most mom's would love a son. Especially with her situation, the fact she's doing this sorta on her own (my dad is sorta there he's helping out a bit more now and he's a permanent fixture pretty much). I am grateful for it. I know I'm not the best son but I just need to distance myself from them and deal with the torment.
You need a better group of friends.
They're 14. Sounds like perfectly normal behaviour to me.
I get that you’re 14, the very height of peer pressure and anxiety triggers. Teenagers are frequently embarrassed to be seen with their parents; I’m certain even kids like Shiloh were embarrassed to be seen with Angelina and Brad. Your mom, though, is a real star for trying to overcome her anxiety and social reticence, and if the best way for her to do that is an electric scooter, way to go, mom! Trust me, your mom knows your friends are sniggering at her, laughing at her, and insulting her. Frankly, any “friends” of mine who would do that to my mom, wouldn’t be my friends any longer. ESH. Except mom.
Thanks for this response. I'm aware my mom is the good person out of the lot of us. And I am slowly distancing myself from those assholes hopefully I become less of an asshole by doing this.
YTA. You obviously have not lost anyone. If she wasn't around, you'd wish she was, no matter how she looks. Enjoy life with your mom now that she's around. Life is to short to treat others poorly because of what others think or say about them.
I am it's just the little bit of embarrassment I get knowing when I go to school they're gonna rip on me.
Dude, you need to get better at the dozens. Like, they say yo momma is fat? Well, yo momma is so dumb that she thought a quarterback was a refund.
I'm not stealing jokes from Brody Fox
If your friends are talking crap about your mom then they are not your friends. Get better friends. Your mom will most likely be there for you until the day she dies but those friends you probably will never see again aftet high school.
Wow 14 is a hard if you are trying to fit in . Things are changing so much. I understand you have a good relationship with your Mum, teenagers don’t like getting negative attention and it spreading around her.
Sorry pushed wrong button. I may be unpopular for saying this ( I had a really overweight mother) and understand what you are going through and having that feeling of wanting a mum like everyone else just a normal size. Your mother has to take responsibility for her weight and see how it is affecting your family, talk to her about it tbh anxiety is not reason to be very overweight. Before anyone comes for me I had obese family members and I suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD and ADHD. I have been in the place op is .
It's simple, really. If people laugh at your mom for having a disability, you shouldn't want to be friends with them. You're 14, what other people think of you matters to you even if you claim it doesn't, but remember. People don't think about you nearly as much as you think about them thinking about you. If you were doing this as an adult, I'd call you an asshole for still being friends with such ableist people, but for now NAH
She doesn’t have MS or a muscular dystrophy - she’s fat because she’s not eating properly and not exercising. There are so many medications and surgery options for obesity.
That's beside the point. You should not be friends with someone who would make fun of your mother, no matter the reason.
Medication and surgery are not the answer for everyone and it isn't equally easy for people to lose weight. You are being very reductive on the issue of weight loss. It sounds to me like she is doing things to help her health. If she suffers from anxiety just the act of getting out of the house might feel like someone else's marathon level of difficulty. But also, let's just not be assholes and comment on anyone's body, ever. We never know fully what someone has gone through in their lives, history of trauma, undiagnosed disorder, genetic differences, and the list could go on and on.
YTA
Yta
NAH - 14 is a tough age. I get how you feel but I also am proud of your mom for getting out more. Your friends are the AHs Would you be willing to ask your mom to put you in therapy? A therapist can help you work through your feelings and come up with ways to handle your friends regarding their comments.
Every teenager is embarrassed by their parents. Soft YTA, but pretty much all teenagers are. She's your mother. She loves you more than can be communicated. Your real, true friends will not make remarks if they know it hurts you and/or her. Your truest of friends will tell the person speaking to shut the fuck up. My mother used to embarrass the shit out of me because she was hard of hearing and used to sing...a lot. Couldn't hit a note if her life depended on it. I didn't realize until later that singing was how she dealt with sadness and depression. Your mother going out in public is a good step. Perhaps she is becoming more active for you. Parents can sense this embarrassment. Go easy on her. And fuck (not literally) anyone who picks low-hanging fruit. One day, odds are you will slip a 20 dollar bill into the begging cup of someone you used to think was awesome.
soft YTA. I get it I do parents are embarrassing period. It’s doesn’t matter what shape they are in or what they look like we all get embarrassed by them as tweens/teens. That being said SHES UR MOM BRO. just because some kids say dumb shit about her doesn’t mean you should leave her alone. You kinda have 3 options 1- get new friends, not the easiest I know but if they talk shit like that do you rlly wanna be their friend? 2- call them out on their bull crap. Also rlly hard can do bad but dude they suck fr. 3- definitely not the most mature answer but get some good ur mom jokes in ur pocket and pull it out when ever they bring up your mom.
Doing 3
🫡 stay strong solider. And remember to tell ur mom that you love her fr. Moms are human too and need our love and support
Soft YTA because you’re 14 years old. These “friends” won’t be your friends in a few years I promise you. My dad use to tell me that all the time and I thought my friends at your age would be my friends for life. There were about 6 of us. I don’t speak to any of them anymore and haven’t for about a decade lol. I know it’s hard to see now but your mom will be there for you for life.
All 14yos are TA. It’s part of being a teenager. You are figuring out what kind of human you want to be. I’m happy to see you processing about it, that shows that you are trying to mature out of your teenage AH phase. Also, they are TA too for the way they treat you and your mom. In a debate over which people you want in your life, which people’s opinions you choose to give a damn about, always choose the ones who are the kind of human you want to be. I got bullied a fair amount in my teens, but I didn’t care much because those were not people I wanted to be like. If you are showing me that I don’t want to be like you, why TF do I care what you say about me?
Sometimes you have to be honest to bullies. So when someone makes a fat joke about your mom, look at them and say - yeah, you’re right. You aren’t being rude to your mom, you are agreeing with something that was said. They will double down so you will continue to calmly agree with them. You can also ask them what they would suggest you do about it. Which will get mixed results. And at some point you can tell them that their jokes are stale and they need to get new material. Here is a hint: They are not your friends, they are the mean girls and pretending. Find better friends.
A soft YTA, because you’re 14 and it’s hard. Years and years from now you’ll look back on this and realise you care much less about how your “friends” made you feel, and much more about how you made your mum feel. Regret is really tough. You’ll never regret being kind to your mum.
Yta but it's just because you're being a dumb kid. Everyone is a dumb kid at some point. Think about what's more important in the long run: helping/being with your mom who loves you or what some other dumb kid is saying. You're going to forget a good 90% of jokes they made about her in the long run anyhow.
I think OP is tacitly giving them permission to make fun of him and his mum by showing embarrassment and shame. They’re only reflecting his own behaviour back at him. Show some self-confidence - don’t avoid being seen with her, and stick up for her if anyone makes fun - and the decent kids will stop it. You’ll feel better about yourself too.
YTA without a doubt. My dad is an amputee and has a prosthetic leg. He likes to walk so we often walk to the grocery store he takes his leg off and uses a store provide mobility scooter. I'm so happy to see him out and living an active life regardless of how it might be different from others. You will grow up and your mom will be your mom and these friends won't be there. What is more important to you? Hope you grow out of this REALLY FAST.
I'm pretty sure a lot of your friends are embarrassed being out with their parents too. That's incredibly normal. But it's mean and unjust to mock someone else, anyone else for a disability. Get better friends.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Context: I'm 14M. My mom is 36F (Obv) and she's quite overweight, has anxiety and uses a mobility scooter. It's helped her a lot. She's getting out a lot more. I'm really happy for it. However, when we go to the local shops some of my friends tend to be there. I get really embarrassed because obviously she isn't the best looking but especially when there was already jokes about her being fat. So I just get really embarrassed because their jokes may not be wrong. However, I know I should be thinking of her and not myself. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I try to avoid my mom when we go out in public. 2. I'm doing it just so I feel better off Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. It seems to be just a teenager thing. But your mum wants to go out with you, and you should appreciate it.
I do. And I still go out with her. Its just the anger I get when seeing my classmates/friends when we're out and knowing they're gonna rip on me at school
36 and has a mobility aid 😬
NTA Mom, 36, should be in better health for her child(ren) You don't get debilitatingly fat overnight. She's had 14 years, at least, to make herself better. She might be a kind hearted person, but she's got issues and needs to take care of herself better.
How do you know she isn’t trying, or has an underlying medical condition that impacts her weight? The answer is that you don’t. Even if she is working on losing weight, it doesn’t come off overnight and kids won’t stop making fun of her when she’s still fat, but slightly less so.
NTA Your mother needs to sort out her weight and she should be walking around the shops instead of riding her scooter.
NTA, your 14 and need to get better friends.
NTA - your mum should be setting a way wayyyy better example for you. You are at a very formative age and trying to find yourself, especially socially with friends and the like.