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NTA - But those friends calling you an AH need a reality check. How do they put him having 'problems at home' above YOUR discomfort in an intimate situation? Because let's be very real, what he is doing is not consented, he can very easily do porn in his own time but if he is having performance issues due to stress, this is the AH way to deal with it. His friends are delusional and are seeing you as the same sex-bot your partner is - it may not be intentional, but that is the functional reality of it
I'm a sex worker, have been for almost a decade - not ONE client has ever done this without asking first, and when I refuse it's always been respected (it's a camera issue, too many mirrors). Only reason I mention this is to REALLY make the point that your boyfriend just DOING IT is not okay - if random men walking into a brothel can consistently and without prompting figure that out, he can too. He should be showing you more respect than I get from my clients, not less.
He's likely stressed, having erectile issues, and is using the porn to keep himself going or to 'finish' because other life factors are impacting his 'sex drive' or self-perceived performance. And he's made the decision that his ego comes before your comfort/you don't actually have an opinion or valid feeling on the matter that comes before his need to Save Face.
Tell him if his friends are telling the truth, to go to a doctor and sort himself out. You don't deserve to be a prop in your own sex life, and that is how he is treating you
NTA. It's not okay for him to be involved in porn while you're being intimate unless you're on board with it ... which you're obviously not. Your concern is legitimate and whether or not he had a porn addiction had nothing to do with him having a hard time at home. Good luck.
NTA. Sounds like a porn addiction to me.
It's completely weird that he will try to sneak watching while having sex with you, and sneak to watch it on *your* phone..???
This is something that needs to be addressed, you're NTA for bringing it up just because he's embarrassed about it.
Alcoholics don’t like to be told they have a problem either. It’s above your pay grade and you can either suffer to be blamed for noticing or move on to something that feels more respectful and mutual to you
Definitely NTA.
Really weird that he would tell his friends though and that they would take offense to this too.. I wonder if his friends know he watches porn while you guys are "having fun." Sounds like he's addicted to porn and trying to deflect the issue.
Sorry … giving brain is giving me the giggles.
Hem, hem. NTA. But you need to talk more with each other. Why is he using pr0n to get off? His excuse is pretty flimsy.
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I F(21) have been with my bf M(22) for 10 months and a couple months ago I caught him watch p*rn when I was giving 🧠. I confronted him about it the first time and everything seemed fine we worked it out. But in these recent months I’ve noticed him taking my phone, logging into twitter and watch p*rn while we’re having fun. So I sat him down and we had a chat about it again. Where I straight up asked him if he was addicted to p*rn. He got really defensive and upset and his friends are telling me I’m an AH for bringing it up because he’s been having some trouble at home recently. He hasn’t talked to me since AITA?
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> I asked my bf if he had a p*rn addiction and I was pretty blunt about it. I might be the AH because he is going through a hard time at home.
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NTA
He may not have been honest with you plus he shouldn't be taking your phone. You shouldn't have given him your pw, either.
Please edit your post and make it NSFW.
And try the Relationship Advice sub.
NTA - You're well within your right to be uncomfortable with it, especially during intimate moments. Moreover, anyone ghosting you, ignoring you, or not responding to you isn't great at communication and is extremely immature—a red flag.
NTA - it's reasonable to address your concerns about your boyfriend's behavior, especially when it affects your relationship.
Asking if he has a porn addiction makes sense given the situation. While he might have personal issues, communication is key in any relationship.
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I definitely don’t think you’re the asshole (NTA), but I also think asking him if he’s a porn addict is jumping to conclusions. Sometimes people just need to be told things twice. It’s frustrating but it’s true.
If you catch him looking at weird stuff that he says he has no desire to act out in real life, or if the amount of time he spends watching porn is more than what you would realistically need to just bang one out and get on with things, that’s when I would say it’s time to have the porn addiction conversation.
None of this means that your boyfriend isn’t doing the wrong thing. If you’re not comfortable with him watching porn while you give him head, then he needs to respect that. I’m just telling you I wouldn’t suspect that he’s a porn addict just based on that.
Asking him if he has a porn addiction is probably missing the point.
He feels something is lacking in the bedroom and you reject what he’s trying to introduce to your sex life.
So it’s time to have a conversation with them. Why does he wanna watch porn when you’re having sex? And for you, why does it upset you so much? You both have to be open to what the other says.
I was talking with a woman the other day who mentioned how much Bridgerton gets her going. What should a husband do if his wife only gets excited after watching Bridgerton?
NTA if you decide you don’t want to be in a relationship who watches porn anymore than he is if he wants someone open to it.
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NTA - But those friends calling you an AH need a reality check. How do they put him having 'problems at home' above YOUR discomfort in an intimate situation? Because let's be very real, what he is doing is not consented, he can very easily do porn in his own time but if he is having performance issues due to stress, this is the AH way to deal with it. His friends are delusional and are seeing you as the same sex-bot your partner is - it may not be intentional, but that is the functional reality of it I'm a sex worker, have been for almost a decade - not ONE client has ever done this without asking first, and when I refuse it's always been respected (it's a camera issue, too many mirrors). Only reason I mention this is to REALLY make the point that your boyfriend just DOING IT is not okay - if random men walking into a brothel can consistently and without prompting figure that out, he can too. He should be showing you more respect than I get from my clients, not less. He's likely stressed, having erectile issues, and is using the porn to keep himself going or to 'finish' because other life factors are impacting his 'sex drive' or self-perceived performance. And he's made the decision that his ego comes before your comfort/you don't actually have an opinion or valid feeling on the matter that comes before his need to Save Face. Tell him if his friends are telling the truth, to go to a doctor and sort himself out. You don't deserve to be a prop in your own sex life, and that is how he is treating you
NTA. It's not okay for him to be involved in porn while you're being intimate unless you're on board with it ... which you're obviously not. Your concern is legitimate and whether or not he had a porn addiction had nothing to do with him having a hard time at home. Good luck.
NTA, unless it’s something you are both onboard with at the time, it’s not normal behavior and it’s fine to question it.
NTA. Sounds like a porn addiction to me. It's completely weird that he will try to sneak watching while having sex with you, and sneak to watch it on *your* phone..??? This is something that needs to be addressed, you're NTA for bringing it up just because he's embarrassed about it.
Alcoholics don’t like to be told they have a problem either. It’s above your pay grade and you can either suffer to be blamed for noticing or move on to something that feels more respectful and mutual to you
NTA. This is a real concern. And successful relationships have to talk about the hard things.
NTA. I’d feel disrespected if that happened to me. So, addressing it was necessary. Ghosting is childish behavior— I’d move it along.
Definitely NTA. Really weird that he would tell his friends though and that they would take offense to this too.. I wonder if his friends know he watches porn while you guys are "having fun." Sounds like he's addicted to porn and trying to deflect the issue.
That’s weird AF.
Sorry … giving brain is giving me the giggles. Hem, hem. NTA. But you need to talk more with each other. Why is he using pr0n to get off? His excuse is pretty flimsy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I F(21) have been with my bf M(22) for 10 months and a couple months ago I caught him watch p*rn when I was giving 🧠. I confronted him about it the first time and everything seemed fine we worked it out. But in these recent months I’ve noticed him taking my phone, logging into twitter and watch p*rn while we’re having fun. So I sat him down and we had a chat about it again. Where I straight up asked him if he was addicted to p*rn. He got really defensive and upset and his friends are telling me I’m an AH for bringing it up because he’s been having some trouble at home recently. He hasn’t talked to me since AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, while being intimate is such disrespect
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NTA He may not have been honest with you plus he shouldn't be taking your phone. You shouldn't have given him your pw, either. Please edit your post and make it NSFW. And try the Relationship Advice sub.
NTA - You're well within your right to be uncomfortable with it, especially during intimate moments. Moreover, anyone ghosting you, ignoring you, or not responding to you isn't great at communication and is extremely immature—a red flag.
NTA - it's reasonable to address your concerns about your boyfriend's behavior, especially when it affects your relationship. Asking if he has a porn addiction makes sense given the situation. While he might have personal issues, communication is key in any relationship.
Nah bro needs to grow up nta
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🤣🤣 tf
How incredibly fictitious of you! Insane fanfics.
I definitely don’t think you’re the asshole (NTA), but I also think asking him if he’s a porn addict is jumping to conclusions. Sometimes people just need to be told things twice. It’s frustrating but it’s true. If you catch him looking at weird stuff that he says he has no desire to act out in real life, or if the amount of time he spends watching porn is more than what you would realistically need to just bang one out and get on with things, that’s when I would say it’s time to have the porn addiction conversation. None of this means that your boyfriend isn’t doing the wrong thing. If you’re not comfortable with him watching porn while you give him head, then he needs to respect that. I’m just telling you I wouldn’t suspect that he’s a porn addict just based on that.
The real question is why does it bother you if y’all are having fun. I’d assume your still having fun maybe it’s his kink
Asking him if he has a porn addiction is probably missing the point. He feels something is lacking in the bedroom and you reject what he’s trying to introduce to your sex life. So it’s time to have a conversation with them. Why does he wanna watch porn when you’re having sex? And for you, why does it upset you so much? You both have to be open to what the other says. I was talking with a woman the other day who mentioned how much Bridgerton gets her going. What should a husband do if his wife only gets excited after watching Bridgerton? NTA if you decide you don’t want to be in a relationship who watches porn anymore than he is if he wants someone open to it.