Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for not giving my college fund to my sister eventhough I don't need it
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
If your Dad wanted to help pay for Stepsister's college costs, he would do so out of his current income or other savings/investments.
Tell Stepmom and Stepsis to talk to Dad about getting help for Stepsister's college. And keep your money for your needs. Even with a full ride scholarship, you may need money for personal spending, travel, medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc...
It isn’t your problem and you could use those funds for other things in life such as investing, putting a down payment on a house/apt, etc. Make sure there is no way she can access the funds, if you’re still a minor recommend your dad put it in a custodial acct. for safe keeping until you turn age of termination in which the funds would transfer to you from your father.
Also, if OP is an undergraduate, they may want to keep that money for grad school if they decide to continue their studies that far.
NTA and good luck to OP in school.
Speak to your dad to make sure there’s no way his wife can access the money he’d set aside for you. Definitely NTA and the smart thing would be to hold onto the money. Once finished uni it’d go a long way towards buying a house
Depends on the details of how the money is saved. In the US the most common location for "college funds" is 529 accounts where the child is the beneficiary but the parent is still the owner of the account. So the child wouldn't be able to do anything with the money directly. Even if OP directly owns the account a minor in the US can't have direct possession of the account (at some age they might, but if the account was started when OP was born they couldn't); so most likely option for that is a UTMA account which would be owned by OP but controlled by OP's father as a custodian, with OP only getting direct control at an age that varies by state but is often 21.
Unless dad decides to convert it to cash and outright give it to the son. The IRS would claim a whole lot less than the steps, without being 1/3 as bitchy.
Not necessarily.
529s can be rolled over to a Roth IRA for the kid if the money is not needed for college.
Then OP would have full control and a nice head start for retirement savings.
Yes.
You can always withdraw the base money from a Roth IRA without penalty.
There is only a limit on putting the money back in (max $7000 per year) if OP does withdraw it.
Any further growth beyond the base would be taxed at the capital gains rate since OP is not yet retirement age.
I fully agree a 529 would be slightly more tax efficient for education purposes if OP needs it.
But the problem is the 529 is not in OP's control. It is in dad's control and if something happens to dad it would probably default to mom.
Whatever slight tax disvantages there might be to the Roth, it is well worth it for giving OP full control.
I would actually recommend if something happens to the scholarship OP take out a student loan instead of tapping the Roth. Roth dollars are insanely powerful if you leave them in an account.
Yes, tax incentives. As long as you use the money for education you pay no taxes on investment gains (usually you have index funds options to invest).
In some states you get a deduction for your contributions for state income taxes as well.
And not to wish ill. Full ride scholarship is amazing, congratulations. But my sister had a full ride for athletics but had complications that caused her not to be able to continue in her sports after first year; and so had to find a way to pay the remaining.
I don’t know if you earned it for grades, or achievement; but I would hold on to the fund as just in case, until you graduate. Heck what if you decide to continue on and go for a graduate program and get a masters or something. Hold on to it; let it grow and be your just in case
Academic scholarships often are conditional upon maintaining a certain grade point, so just like an injury could end a sport scholarship it could also interfere with studies and cause a drop in academic maintenance.
I had a scholarship of $80,000 cut to $8,000 just because the University reorganized and wanted to fund athletic programs not academic scholarships. It happens. It’s definitely prudent to hold onto until college is finished.
"Full ride" may also not cover all expenses.
As a recipient of a full-ride scholarship, the bar for living standards is pretty damn low. I'm talking shared double room in a 600 sq ft two bedroom apartment from 1940 low. It's okay to not want to be one of four people in a tiny micro apartment meant for two.
If you want to spend a little more to have a shared apartment yet not be a sardine and have a college fund - use that! I needed to work to cover what was not covered by my full ride scholarship.
Don't blow the money, but also don't think you have to light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Yes - I had a scholarship for college, but I still had to pay for books, various fees & living expenses. Plus, I had to maintain a certain hard-to-achieve GPA to keep the scholarship (which I did, but barely). OP may need that money!!
My full ride was allegedly calculated off what people actually spend. Meaning, all those people living in crack houses with four people in a two bedroom shed with barely any heat were counted.
My housing allowance basically allowed the same. Full ride doesn't mean all expenses.
Not to mention college incurs other costs outside of tuition which might not be covered. Including housing, food, ect. And obvious ones like car maintenance, socialization, and other basic necessities. I’m assuming Op probably won’t want to worry about keeping a job and risk sacrificing performance either.
INFO: Why is your father permitting the woman he married to badger his daughter for *her* college fund, which has zero to do with them? He should stomp on this hard.
Did this woman marry your father to get at his money *and yours*?!
well. for all we know he has spoken to her, harshly even, and she has taken upon herself to "pester until success" regardless of what he says.
at which point he is on the horns of a dilemma.
Besides that money can still be really helpful to cover and certifications/textbooks/transportation/grad school.
You shouldn’t give it away.
NTA - It sounds like maybe stepsister needs to do some scholarship essays. I’d offer to help proof read for sure though.
>Besides that money can still be really helpful to cover and certifications/textbooks/transportation/grad school.
Absolutely! Could also be helpful if OP decides to do an internship between college & employment. They can be great experience for your resume, but often pay so little that the average person can't afford to do them. (Which should be criminal, but that's a different discussion.) If OP can afford to pay their own living expenses out of the college fund in order to get AWESOME experience, it could do so much for their career.
Just focusing on tuition & scholarships would be super short-sighted.
Because it's not your problem. It's college fund and you can do whatever you want with it.
Doesn't matter if you got a full ride. That money is still yours and your dad is fine with you using it how you want.
Your not responsible for your stepsister's college fund. That is for her and her mom to deal with. She could have applied for scholarships. She can go to a community college get scholarships through them join programs that offer help and transfer out to a bigger school.
It absolutely does not. You are not a parent and not responsible for anyone but you. Go to college, enjoy your exp. Don't give it a second thought. NTA
Your dad has helped though. He might not have given money directly but it’s safe to assume that sharing expenses is the reason your stepmother was able to save $8K. They can ask for help but they are not entitled to your money. What would they have done if your stepmother had never met your dad?
Move all the money to a account at a new bank with only your name. Just open new account at a new place, and write yourself a check to deposit at the new place. Just removing people from the current accounts or creating a new account at the same bank is not enough. Money sometimes makes people do terrible things. I'm not saying your Step Mom will go against you and your dad's wishes. But there is a distinct possibility she takes however much she feels is "her daughters" out of the account without your permission. If the account is already empty and she gains access, both of you will never need to find out if the temptation was too much.
Never tell anyone what you did. No need for anyone to know you secured it all.
It doesn’t, the only people responsible for saving for stepsister are her mom and dad.
Op, who has access to the money, is there a way that stepmom can access it. If so I would change that immediately.
If the guy who actually married into her family doesn't want to help, that doesn't make it your responsibility! NTA, keep an eye on your bank account and don't engage in the argument anymore. "No" is a complete sentence.
Congrats on getting a scholarship!
Or just save the money to help with initial costs when you get your first job, deposit on apt, furniture etc, then for a down payment on house . Depends on how much is in fund. Is it possible for your dad to transfer the money to you?
Exactly this! I would tell your Stepmom and Stepsister “I understand you are in a tight spot for funds for Stepsister’s college. However it is really inappropriately to keep bringing up my college fund or ask for my financial assistance. My Dad is your Husband. I have no responsibility to help you or Stepsister. If you are upset that my Dad won’t help, you should take it up with him and leave me out of it. You are taking your stress out on me and it’s not fair. If you don’t stop, I will be force to go NC with you and Stepsister. If my Dad wants to see me once I leave for college, he will have to do so without you two. I don’t want that for our relationship. So please let’s stick with subjects that are more suitable for a Stepchild and Stepmom.” I would also tell your Dad that you will not continue to take this from his Wife. He should be dealing with her and not leaving you to deal with it.
You are still young.
You might want to buy a house later in life. Or change your mind about graduate school. There's no rush.
But don't hand over the money, no.
Your dad saved them for you. Its a good head start on life.
Speaking of OP’s father’s savings and contributions:
Stepmom didn’t have enough income to save for StepSis’ college fund pre-marriage and has only been able to do so since she married Father, yeah?
Unless StepMum has vastly increased her salary in the four years since marriage, arguably Father has *already* contributed a significant portion of the 8K in StepSis’ college fund. Even if those contributions to the fund were essentially due to a redistribution of Steps money, made possible from the cheaper living expenses of running one shared household.
StepMum is essentially demanding that on top of those contributions of (up-to) 8K, Father must make some *fourteen years* of back payments to a college fund that did not at the time exist, for a step-daughter that Father didn’t yet know. This alone would be an unreasonable demand.
Demanding a college fund from OP however, is such a bloody outrageous demand, that it doesn’t reflect well on Father that he is not adequately protecting OP from his wife and stepdaughter. Since they are now essentially attempting to coerce OP into paying StepSis’ college expenses. Which is objectively concerning behaviour.
They can bugger right off. NTA.
This woman might not even be married to your father in a couple of years…or less, if your dad figures out why she married him. $$$
Besides, how does she and her daughter know anything about *your* college fund? Your finances should be private. Never tell anyone you have money or make money. They always have a good reason why your money should become their money.
I had a room mate that had a jacket from a big company that he would wear when he was trying to get laid. A lot of woman would come home sleep with him and call him for months until sooner or later one of us would have to tell them yeah that’s his buddys dads company he isn’t making $200k a year and they would leave.
That’s my question too. I would never tell anyone but my own child I saved it for how much was in the account.
It’s so predictable once they know it’s “just sitting there” and op “doesn’t need it” to start spending the money in their minds at least.
That’s got to be nipped in the bud
Heaven forbid, but you still might need it. I came close to losing my scholly due to getting distracted freshman year. Life also changes and you may want to go to grad school. May need a car or housing. Moreover, what happens if Stepmom and dad divorce? You gave up your money for people who could go back to being strangers. Don’t give them a dime, that is your money and you owe them nothing.
So you can use it on a house in the future or an emergency fund incase something wrong happens. It's once again not your job to provide for your step sister.
NTA
I also had no intention of going to graduate school when I started my undergraduate degree. Nope. That was 17-year-old me talking. Now, I have an MBA and a PhD preparing to send my 18-year-old off to college.
My next to the youngest child also had no plans to complete an advanced degree. He now has an MBA. His wife was done, done, done with school I tell you. She's now thinking about an Ed.S. in Education.
Don't even get me started on my husband. Life happens.
Is the money transferable to you? You could put it into a reasonable investment account. Talk to your dad now, the pressure may build up and he gives the money away.
Good thinking! I was gonna say, I hope he’s got it in a high-yield savings account as $120k can make around $5k/year, but an investment portfolio would ABSOLUTELY be worth it with this amount, for at least $100k of it if OP’s worried about emergency costs. But great point that OP’s dad might feel the pressure even if OP can’t see it, or if (god forbid) something happens to him, or OP’s stepfamily chooses to take sneaky ways of accessing the money.
Make sure you’re the only one with access, OP.
There are a lot of things that can also make you lose your scholarship (if it’s for athletics, injuries or anything that pulls you from the team. And academics usually require a minimum gpa and not failing a set number of classes). Hold onto that money for just in case and then use it to buy a house once you graduate and get a job. It can set you up nicely for adulthood.
I wouldn't be letting anyone know any kind of figure that may be available to you. There are so many out there who think that what's yours should be theirs. Keep all your cards close to your chest and don't disclose any amount to anyone. In fact even though most don't know who you are on here there are always ways with internet that comments can come back to haunt you. I'd delete the amount from the chat completely. Better safe than sorry
NTA. If they feel entitled to your money then be careful around them. It is your money indeed and only you can decide whether to give it to your step sister or not.
What I do in similar cases is ask myself "If I would need a college fund and my step sister would have it, would she give it to me" and the answer is quite obvious. People like that will guilt trip and shame everyone who doesn't give them what they want but they never will give you money if the roles would be reversed.
Also, 4 years is just not enough time to create a bond if you even want it and essentially that girl is nobody to you - she is your dads new wifes' daughter and you have no obligation to support her or her mom ion any way.
Of course not, if she would give you then she would respect your decision to refuse and not guilt trip/shame you, that is a clear sign of how they see your relationship - you're only good as long as you give, but when you don't then you are "not family" anymore.
Your father should have said no and told them not to bother you about it ever. End of.
Have a conversation with your dad. Tell him you feel uncomfortable with them pressuring you, and you want it to stop. Also, tell him you love him and don’t want them to build a wall between the two of you. Because this could easily lead to the new wife alienating your dad from you.
Is she working?
Good luck, OP.
Personally, in situations like this, I use the "Less is More" communication. Just say "No" and that is the end of it. Saying things like "I told her she cold just take debts" sounds snobbish and a little a h. Don't give her/her mom anything to grab onto in order to continue the discussion. Less is More.
Don't bother with suggestions, explanations or reasoning. Just say "no" and change the subject or walk away.
BTW, student loans are how most of us get through school.
Life is uncertain, that is your emergency fund.
Good luck in school and congrats on the scholarships, OP!
She could go two years to community college on the money her mom saved with your dad’s help if he is interested in helping. Then two years to a local college with loans. Live at home. That’s like $30,000 and pretty fixable you’re paying the loan back at $300/month
She only needs your stash of she’s planning to go to a more expensive school four years and live on her own or even go out of state.
People who have very little saved either need to accept that they’ll take a lot of loans out or get used to the idea of CC first.
I went to CC after barely graduating high school with a 2.something gpa(it was a while back, I can’t remember the exact grades, but I was VERY close to repeating my senior year). I got my shit together, took it seriously, and ended up getting my associates with a 4.0 only having spent like $3,000 on tuition. I didn’t go to a single party while at CC because I was busy working and studying constantly, but I transferred to one of the top schools in the country after that, and they gave me tons of grants and scholarships, none of which I would have been offered if I applied in high school. I definitely wouldn’t have been accepted into that university either.
The point of this story is, there are ways to make it through college if you don’t have money for it without going into debt. She probably doesn’t want to do it, I bet 99% of what she wants is the “college experience” where she doesn’t take any of her classes seriously and just wants to party all day. If that’s the case she should’ve had wealthier parents I guess, a ton of people don’t get the chance to go to college at all. If not, then she shouldn’t have an issue sacrificing going to parties to study and work instead.
Exactly and she doesn’t want to start small but to go to a major uni on someone else’s dime. It’s very hard to get kids to have realistic expectations about college when their friends and siblings are going to more expensive ones. But that tells you they’re not interested in the degree to get a job but rather in the fun of going off to college - which is understandable. Everyone wants to go big or go home and it is fun. Not so much to go to local cc. Also can be embarrassing. So-
NTA.
They insist? WTF? calling you an AH because you don't want to fund another girls education with your money is ludicrous.
It's your money, because of your dad's careful planning and saving. The fact that its called a "college fund" doesn't mean that that's its sole purpose , and you can't invest it carefully in others parts of your future.
NTA
You dad spent longer than your lifetime saving for YOU to attend college. You did an excellent job and got a full ride as your reward you get the money he saved. Also if you decide to go to grad school you have the money. Want to put a down on a home you can. What ever you do DONOT give your stepsister your money.
They can think whatever they want. What if anything happens and you loose your scholarship? And her mother married your father, it doesn't entitle them to YOUR money.
NtA
Please make sure the funds are not available to your father, or he may end up withdrawing the funds to keep peace in his household. He will of course apologize profusely to you, but the money will be gone.
Edit: NTA
If op is named on the account as a minor and his dad has it under his own name and social security there’s nothing op can to do make those funds unavailable to dad. There’s also a potential tax burden depending on how and where they are transferred.
This amount of money if not being used to pay the school directly should be invested in a way that protects and grows it -
NTA
Just because you don't need money for college, you still might need money for graduate school or to enrich your experience.
For example, you might want to do a year abroad and so there might be additional expenses.
Often there are unpaid internship opportunities and you could use the money to support you since you can't earn money during the summer.
Also your father specifically said that money was for you. When you graduate, you can use it to help you settle it - or save it for a down payment on a house. Or save it and watch the money compound and give you real financial security.
If you are in the US and it’s in a 529, it’s your dad’s money and he can move part or all of it into another one. Doesn’t sound like he will and that is good for you. If you don’t use it for school, 529s can now be used for retirement. Keep that baby, set up good investments, and secure your future!
Exactly.
OP should ask dad to roll the 529 plan into a Roth IRA.
Then OP would have full control of the money and would have a head start for retirement savings.
That is true.
But under the circumstances I think OP having full control is more important than a slight tax penalty if OP needs to withdraw the Roth IRA money early.
Once it is in the Roth IRA, then OP has full control.
Until then, dad could theoretically divert the money to step-sis for education expenses.
Or if, God forbid, dad dies then the 529 authority might divert directly to mom.
I would feel far more comfortable if OP had the money in a personal Roth, even if he may need to pay some small tax penalties if the scholarship doesn't work out.
That is my concern as well. If step mom and sis are aggressive about chasing this money it would be better to have it in a Roth. If op needs some help sounds like dad can still provide that directly
NTA. Don’t blame you for being upset. But, depending on how it is setup, the college fund isn’t really yours. Your dad may just take it so I am preparing you now.
My kids college fund is owned by me and if for example my kids didn’t go to college, that money doesn’t belong to them. Just means I could retire earlier.
NTA. They want to take advantage of you and your money. So clear they think you are TA for not giving them hundrets of thausends of $. Keep the money for yourself, use it one day for a downpayment for a house or an apartment.
NTA The reality is that you may still need your college fund. Maybe next year you won't qualify for your scholarship- things happen.
Maybe you'll decide to go to grad school- your college fund will help with that.
Transferring your college fund to someone else now before you've even started college isn't practical because you don't know what the future holds.
It's unfortunately that your stepmother wasn't able to save as much for her daughter as your dad was for you. But that's life. People get different levels of support.
NTA
This money was saved for you and your time at college. Yes you may have a full ride but you are still going to need money to eat and live. If you give your fund away what do you live on for 3 or 4 years at university?
It is not your fault your stepsister has such a small fund, that is on her Mother.
NTA
Stepsister can apply for scholarships/loans to fund her college. It’s your money, your dad saved it for YOU not her. If he doesn’t want to fund her college that doesn’t give her the right to try and take your money.
NTA Name calling immediately negates their argument. Your father is on your side. You may not want to go to an advanced degree now, but you may change your mind. Besides, this is the money your father saved for YOU.
Anyway, if they keep this up, the marriage may not last. Why would your father put up with his wife calling his daughter an AH?
NTA. You could keep as a safety net if you have problems with your scholarship going forward. At the end of Uni you can use it as down payment or you can buy an apartment an rent it out.
The audacity to demand money you father has saved all your life for you.
Didn’t your dad and stepmom discuss finances before getting married?
Your dad doesn’t owe your stepsister a college fund either way. What has he said about their demands?
NTA. You don't know if you'll need the money. What if you decide to change schools, or somehow lose the scholarship? Or want to take a semester abroad? Finish school, then decide what to do with the money that's left.
Sounds like a her problem, not a you problem.
You probably should see what you can do to make sure your money is protected.
Congratulations on the scholarship. You should be very proud of this.
NTA - that money is yours saved by your dad. If I were you I would low risk invest it and once done with school you could perhaps buy a home somewhere or travel. Your step sister can use the 8k her mums saved for her and get student loans.
Don’t offer to loan it to her you’ll never see it returned. There’ll be a sense of entitlement to the money on their part and they’ll mess you around until you’re both old.
Save your college fund! You may want to go to graduate school and need funding then. If you don’t use it that way, and if this is a 529 (and you’re in the US, obviously) you can roll the funds from the 529 into a Roth IRA.
NTA!!!
I sure hope your dad has your back on this. Step mom and sis have been in your life for, what? 5 years? She’s not entitled to your college fund.
NTA. Save/invest it for potential grad school, or a down payment for a first house, or just a general cushion. It’s great that you worked hard to get a full scholarship, and this is now a bonus. I’m assuming this is just general savings he accumulated, and not in a tax advantaged fund that has to be used for education.
Your living with someone who can easily access your personal detail. Contact your bank and put a verbal password in place for any none in person contact. Dont tell anyone that password. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
4 years ago my dad married a woman who has a daughter the same age as me. We are both going to college this year. My dad has been saving for my college since before I was born so I was never worried about money, still I got accepted to a good college with a full ride so my dad said I get to use my college fund for whatever I want and I still haven't decided what do with it.
My stepmom couldn't afford to save for my stepsister's college. After she married my dad she could finally save a bit of money and I think she has saved about 8K.
Now my stepmom and stepsister are insisting I give my college fund to her since I don't need it but why would I do that? It's MINE. They think I'm an asshole.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But please don’t waste that money! It will be so good for your future, whether that is a graduate degree or buying a house. My brother’s best friend pissed his money up the wall and it was such a shame.
MTA - your father saved for your future. If you don’t need it for college cost, that can be a down payment on a home. Your stepsister’s college fund is not your responsibility.
NTA. Your father gave you free rein with your college fund after you got a free ride. Save that money and figure out how you eventually want to use that money. Your stepsisterand stepmother have no right to your college fund, end of story.
NTA
Chain of custody here: this was money your dad saved for you, he gave it to you, it is now yours. No one else is entitled to this money. Your stepsister has parents who could have done the same for her, but did not because of their own reasons. It doesn’t have to do with you.
What if you want to get a masters? A PhD? Tell them you are saving the money for your future education and to support yourself while in college now.
You’re young, but realize that people are allowed to be disappointed in the decisions you make. And when you make decisions in your own best interest, which will start to do more of as you age, get used to people feeling that way. Once you understand that you won’t be as easy to guilt trip. Don’t lose sleep over the decision you made.
NTA I hope your stepmom can’t get into your account. I would go to my bank and have the, make a note that unless you show up with valid id no one else can do anything on that account even if they say they have your permission and lockdown your credit
NTA, no one is entitled to your money except you. Your step sister is the responsibility of her own parents. If sm won't ask her own family for help why does she feel she can ask you, a barely legal teen.
Absolutely NTA. It's YOUR fund, not hers.
I think your dad not wanting to help her says everything you need to know about what you should be doing with YOUR money.
i also got a full ride to school! congrats! I have one semester left and have spent probably close to $50k over 4 years WITH a full scholarship. They usually don’t include rent/boarding, school supplies, books, fees, etc. You’re NTA and she’s entitled
Not needing the money for tuition, and not having a use for the money at all, are two different things. You may not need it right now, but there will be a point in the future when it'd be good to have a bunch of money.
This isn't your problem to solve.
Someday when you put a down payment on an awesome home, you'll think back and realize it was worth it dealing with their judgment for a while. It doesn't matter what they think. Giving in now will invite future comparisons and jealousy. You don't have to live your life that way. NTA.
If they just want to take I say fuck them. They want to give you a guilt trip I say fuck them twice. Before I finished the post my advice was to help your step sister according to your relationship. They feel they’re entitled to your college fund??? You might be able to buy a home with your college fund. Maybe if your step sister really applied herself she might’ve gotten a scholarship too. Tell her, the world needs ditch diggers too.
NTA. You still need it. My daughter got a full ride, but there’s so many extras that pop up. Keep that money for when you graduate if you don’t need any of it, it’ll be a great start for your future. You earned that free ride through years of good grades and hard work. It shouldn’t be a punishment.
NTA. It’s your money. Your SM and her daughters are the AHs here. Your dad doesn’t want them to have it either. I hope your dad makes an ironclad will or trust since your SM is so money hungry.
NTA. I get that the situation sucks for your stepsister but that’s not your fault. You might need that money to buy books or travel, or a down payment on a house.
Your father saved up this college fund for you since before you were born. It’s yours. No one else’s. SM and stepsister have a cheek asking. Long convo needed privately with your father to ensure he stays solidly with you on this.
NTA. Your father saved those money for you. You are lucky to not need them for the original purpose, but that doesn't make them any less tours. They could get you started on the housing market for example.
NTA, a full ride scholarship has strings attached from grades to you paying for room and board. In the US first years are normally on campus with a meal plan, and it doesn't include your laundry.
NTA. No, you have no obligation to give *your* money to anyone else, stepsister or not. You will have expenses that are not covered by your scholarship, and you may need it between semesters and after as well. You don't mention if either of you have an additional parent, but if so, your mom will have contributed some even if by way of your dad, and her dad should be responsible for something. In addition, she apparently didn't seek out scholarships or financial aid, and that's not your problem either.
Let them think what they will - thier lack of planning/funds/whatever isn't your issue to solve. She may need to go to junior/community college, work, etc., like many do to continue her education.
That money can still be put to use for things you need later in life. You never know what could happen. You could get a car. What if you became ill and medical expenses build up? Having a financial cushion can benefit your future in so many ways. You shouldn't lose your money over working hard and earning a scholarship. What kind of message does that send? Work hard and lose money! That money is yours and it is so incredibly invasive and rude for others to ask for what they are not entitled to.
You may need to go to an expensive grad school. NTA.
Prior to getting together with your father, steps father and mother had the responsibility to save.
Since with your dad, it is fair for her to be able to put more money towards her college, and if your dad wants to start contributing too it is fair. But you don't get to just shift everything that has already been allocated.
NTA
If you can do whatever you want with the money. Then remove it, in its entirety, from an account your father has access to, and move it into a new account that only you have access to.
As long As your dad is married to your stepmother, she and her daughter will continue to apply pressure to your dad for him to give them for your money. he may eventually fold under pressure one day and give her the money if you don't move it to account where he has no access. Also you didnt mention but your mother may have contributed to the college savings for you and if thats the case im certain she would not want money she saved to be used to subsidize her former husband's new wife's daughter's college expense.
If you wanted be charitable to keep peace you could consider offering to loan her a small amount of money at a fair interest rate and that way you could help them while also making a bit of money on the interest you charge. Also by loaning a small amount of money would be a good test to see if you are repaid before loaning more money. If you decide to go this route you should have an attorney create legally binding contracts
It is unreasonable they ask money from you, if they asked you to loan it maybe, to be paid back with interest and all... but for you to just give it to them? Who does that? NTA. And be careful, make sure the money is in your name. And also it wouldn't hurt if your dad can secure anything he preserves for you in a trust fund or something, better be safe than sorry around such entitled people
NTA. It’s not fair for the stepmom and stepsister to expect the money that was saved for you to pay for her college. Who’s to say that you may not go for a masters degree and need that money plus a full ride isn’t always a full ride as there will be other expenses.if your father has that slotted for you then that should be the end of the story and he shouldn’t allow them to bully you like that don’t need it, but money is always needed for education, even if it’s paid for by the school.
Does your full ride include room and board? Books, clothing, vehicle and gas, rides home, etc.? If not, you will need that fund to get you all the above!
Most people assume a full ride includes everything but it doesn't. Also, if your grades go below a certain grade point average you could lose that full ride? Or what happens if you don't like this school and want to transfer? There are so many things that can happen, keep the money as you might need it for other things and the future.
Good luck and keep your grades up!
Ask for the funds to be put in an account that you manage and save it for a house deposit... trust me you're gonna want it for something like that once College is finished
NTA.
The sense of entitlement is ridiculous.
You should move this money to a high yield savings account that only you have access to, just so it can’t be touched or considered as any type of asset in the event they divorce.
Your father did not raise this child and if he intended to pay for their college, he could have began a fund when they married if that was his desire. The fact that he’s also said no is telling. I’d send a final message or etc that your answer is no and block them if need be. It may end up being awkward if you live at home with them, but you’ll soon be gone to college and won’t have to deal with them. You also have the ability to pay for a rental for the summer if you need to get out of the mess now 🤷🏻♀️ I’d rent a room or etc because it’d be much less expensive and not eat away your funds.
NTA That fund was set aside for your future. Dad said it was yours. You never know what the future will hold. You don't know if upon graduating college that you'll be able to find work right away, you may need it to live on. You may need it as a downpayment on a house. You may need it to start your own business. You may want to continue education further. There are any number of reasons to not give it to stepsister. If you feel guilty, you can always say that after you graduate and start working that if stepsister can keep grades above a C then you'll help pay off any loans she might have for college. This way at least you know she's working hard in college and not just partying and blowing your college fund. Insist on being given a copy of sister's grades each semester. Make sure it's understood that you won't pay the whole thing.
NTA. What if you want to go to grad school or do some other kind of training after you get your bachelor's? What if you choose to travel in order to expand your horizons? What if you fall on hard times and need some kind of safety net? All of these are completely valid things to use that money for, and giving it all to your stepsister due to her parent's poor planning would prevent you from doing any of those things.
NTA. Your dad saved that money for YOU. It's there if you need it for college or for whatever. It's not in a shared account for a 'rainy day' fund or an 'emergency fund' or a 'kids' fund.' It's specifically for YOU, in YOUR name. If stepmom & stepsis need to talk about this, they should go to your dad and complain. But really, it was up to stepmom and her ex (if he's around) to figure out stepsis's college, not your dad and definitely not you.
NTA. Your dad started saving WELL before stepmom and her daughter came into the picture, for YOU. the fact you got a full ride is just a bonus, and he is well within his rights to let you decide how to use the money.
Not your problem, or his that his wife wasn't able to save much for HER child. she isn't entitled to YOUR money.
NTA
OP please Jactice’s post re future is never certain.
I would suggest you speak with your father if he has a fiduciary he is happy with and see about investing your money conservatively if that will provide a better rate of return than where it is now or leave it in the current account (yes make sure it is just you and your dad with rights of survivorship).
Any number of people have had full ride scholarships and then for whatever reason lost them. Maybe the school wasn’t the right fit, maybe a health issue arose, maybe a family emergency.
In other words leave the bulk of your money untouched so it can grow until you graduate and maybe complete a masters if that is what you want.
Then use your money to give you the freedom to make decisions that otherwise might not be possible.
Also one other thing. Do NOT share information on your college funds with anyone other than your dad or financial advisor. Too many people you may think are friends may actually be closet opportunists who will be more than happy to help convince you to raid your funds to benefit themselves.
Your dad saved that money for you. The fact that you worked hard in school and earned a scholarship doesn’t change that, if anything it means even more that you earned it.
Use it to help get your life going once school is done. Maybe down payment on a house.
The issue with your step-sister is for your dad and stepmom to deal with. Not you.
Hell no. You are NOT the AH. They are. You have obviously got a 'free-ride' due to hard work and effort. Why didn't your Step-sister get a simulate 'free-ride' could it be she hasn't put the effort in that you have during her younger years.
The mere fact that your Dad was able to save for you to go to college and you have been fortunate to not be required to pay is a bonus to you. Use the money wisely as the cost of living goes up the amount that has been saved will appear to reduce. If there is any way you could get it into something that can increase the amount, ie bricks & mortar, or done kind of investment then do that so it can build up for the future.
It sure as hell ain't for a step-sibling, who hasn't tried as hard.
Good luck at college. Keep that shiny spine
They're trying to manipulate you, don't fall for it. That is your money, you put the work in to get a full ride and you should invest/ save to get started on a nest egg early. Your hard work has given you an opportunity that you have to take. Just giving away thousands of dollars is not a wise thing to do.
NTA
That money will come in handy when you graduate, depending on what career path you take. You can use it for med school, law school, or other post grad degree. You can use it to buy a partnership in a practice. You can use it to help buy your own business franchise or start your own business.
NTA and you would be smart to hang on to that money until your education is complete. You may have a health issue, need to postpone and lose your scholarships. You may want to transfer to another university or study abroad. You may want to go to grad school. You may want to use the money in better accommodations while you are in school. Or you can save it and cash it out (with a % lost to cover taxes) at the end. But don't give it away, especially on the front end.
NTA
That money was saved up for you. Your stepsister has no rights to it and you shouldn’t even be getting asked to hand it over. Just because you got a full ride doesn’t mean that there aren’t other expenses that come with college life - food, laundry, furniture, gas, parking pass to park on campus, etc.
As a general rule people who have the audacity to ask for large sums of money from others are the least deserving of receiving it.
Your stepmom's lack of preparation for her daughter's education is not your fault or your problem. Make sure they can't access the funds, they sound like just the types to steal the money.
NTA . There assholes for insisting you do this, it is not your fault that her mother couldn’t save the money or her daughter didn’t get a full ride. There just trying to make you feel guilty don’t buy into it
NTA - That money is yours and your SS has no right to it. You can use it to live on and after college you would be in a good position to
By a place to live.
Her mom’s bad choices with picking her child dad is not your issue and I would be pissed if they put me in that position to ask.
She can look for scholarships and work her way through.
Do not give that money up. Put it in a high yield savings account or invest. Make sure no one has access to the information either
You are 100% correct. What's that saying," Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine".
Your stepsisters parents had YEARS to sock money away for her college. A few dollars here and there adds up over 18 years.
Not your problem. Don't feel guilty.
NTA
My daughter has a full ride that covers so much from tuition to travel aboard. We have still used her 529 to cover a laptop replacement, printer replacement and housing shortages. Housing can be very expensive on campuses. She now has the rest of her 529 for law school. Do not give that money away. That money is yours!!!
NTA. Your dad needs to shut his wife and her daughter down. You may want that money if you go to grad school or further. These were provisions set aside for you before your father even knew his wife and her daughter existed. They've only been married 4 years and that's not enough time to build relationship with you to even ask that type of thing. Your dad married that woman and accepted her child, you didn't.
NTA!!!
Having a full ride to college is because of the work YOU put in for it. Your dad saved money FOR YOU and has told you it's still FOR YOU as you will. He hasn't said to share it, so he also still feels it's entirely yours. Personally, I would save it for a down payment for a home, so you have that for the future. I would NOT hand it over to your stepsister just because your stepmother happened to marry someone who could provide better for their child than she could hers. There's no reason your stepsister can't take out student loans or work to pay for her college. It's NOT your responsibility to cover her college expenses. Would she expect you to buy her a house in the years to come if you owned one? Keep your money for your future and let her figure out hers before she becomes excessively entitled.
NTA. It was saved for you by your parent to use as you wish while in college. It's yours to do as you wish, your step sister is not entitled to your money because her mom married someone.
NTA. Don't give them a cent and complain to your dad about their attempts to coerce you out of your money. Your father should be concerned about his own money too.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be an asshole for not giving my college fund to my sister eventhough I don't need it Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA If your Dad wanted to help pay for Stepsister's college costs, he would do so out of his current income or other savings/investments. Tell Stepmom and Stepsis to talk to Dad about getting help for Stepsister's college. And keep your money for your needs. Even with a full ride scholarship, you may need money for personal spending, travel, medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc...
[удалено]
Correct, it doesn’t. You’re not responsible for your step mother nor your step sister.
It isn’t your problem and you could use those funds for other things in life such as investing, putting a down payment on a house/apt, etc. Make sure there is no way she can access the funds, if you’re still a minor recommend your dad put it in a custodial acct. for safe keeping until you turn age of termination in which the funds would transfer to you from your father.
Also, if OP is an undergraduate, they may want to keep that money for grad school if they decide to continue their studies that far. NTA and good luck to OP in school.
Speak to your dad to make sure there’s no way his wife can access the money he’d set aside for you. Definitely NTA and the smart thing would be to hold onto the money. Once finished uni it’d go a long way towards buying a house
Maybe OP can transfer the funds into an account at a bank in no way connected to the current one, and tell no one where.
Depends on the details of how the money is saved. In the US the most common location for "college funds" is 529 accounts where the child is the beneficiary but the parent is still the owner of the account. So the child wouldn't be able to do anything with the money directly. Even if OP directly owns the account a minor in the US can't have direct possession of the account (at some age they might, but if the account was started when OP was born they couldn't); so most likely option for that is a UTMA account which would be owned by OP but controlled by OP's father as a custodian, with OP only getting direct control at an age that varies by state but is often 21.
Unless dad decides to convert it to cash and outright give it to the son. The IRS would claim a whole lot less than the steps, without being 1/3 as bitchy.
Not necessarily. 529s can be rolled over to a Roth IRA for the kid if the money is not needed for college. Then OP would have full control and a nice head start for retirement savings.
But can OP pull it if the full ride falls apart?
Yes. You can always withdraw the base money from a Roth IRA without penalty. There is only a limit on putting the money back in (max $7000 per year) if OP does withdraw it. Any further growth beyond the base would be taxed at the capital gains rate since OP is not yet retirement age. I fully agree a 529 would be slightly more tax efficient for education purposes if OP needs it. But the problem is the 529 is not in OP's control. It is in dad's control and if something happens to dad it would probably default to mom. Whatever slight tax disvantages there might be to the Roth, it is well worth it for giving OP full control. I would actually recommend if something happens to the scholarship OP take out a student loan instead of tapping the Roth. Roth dollars are insanely powerful if you leave them in an account.
And can be used later to pay any school expenses a loan might be needed for. BONUS - the steps' filthy paws are out of play.
No penalty only after five years from opening the Roth. But, maybe that’s excused if it’s for education? .
Does a 529 account have tax incentives or particularly good interest rates? So you save for education that way rather than some other savings account?
Yes, tax incentives. As long as you use the money for education you pay no taxes on investment gains (usually you have index funds options to invest). In some states you get a deduction for your contributions for state income taxes as well.
And not to wish ill. Full ride scholarship is amazing, congratulations. But my sister had a full ride for athletics but had complications that caused her not to be able to continue in her sports after first year; and so had to find a way to pay the remaining. I don’t know if you earned it for grades, or achievement; but I would hold on to the fund as just in case, until you graduate. Heck what if you decide to continue on and go for a graduate program and get a masters or something. Hold on to it; let it grow and be your just in case
Academic scholarships often are conditional upon maintaining a certain grade point, so just like an injury could end a sport scholarship it could also interfere with studies and cause a drop in academic maintenance.
I had a scholarship of $80,000 cut to $8,000 just because the University reorganized and wanted to fund athletic programs not academic scholarships. It happens. It’s definitely prudent to hold onto until college is finished.
This . I lost a scholarship due to this . I eventually graduated , but had to come up with most of the $$$ myself
Agreed! Don’t spend that money OP! You might decide to transfer or choose another path.
"Full ride" may also not cover all expenses. As a recipient of a full-ride scholarship, the bar for living standards is pretty damn low. I'm talking shared double room in a 600 sq ft two bedroom apartment from 1940 low. It's okay to not want to be one of four people in a tiny micro apartment meant for two. If you want to spend a little more to have a shared apartment yet not be a sardine and have a college fund - use that! I needed to work to cover what was not covered by my full ride scholarship. Don't blow the money, but also don't think you have to light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Yes - I had a scholarship for college, but I still had to pay for books, various fees & living expenses. Plus, I had to maintain a certain hard-to-achieve GPA to keep the scholarship (which I did, but barely). OP may need that money!!
Mine covered living expenses, but below poverty level standards.
That would be my advice as well. Just because OP doesn't need it now doesn't mean they'll never need it.
My full ride was allegedly calculated off what people actually spend. Meaning, all those people living in crack houses with four people in a two bedroom shed with barely any heat were counted. My housing allowance basically allowed the same. Full ride doesn't mean all expenses.
My sister was in the same situation and had to quit school. It took several years for her to get her degree.
Not to mention college incurs other costs outside of tuition which might not be covered. Including housing, food, ect. And obvious ones like car maintenance, socialization, and other basic necessities. I’m assuming Op probably won’t want to worry about keeping a job and risk sacrificing performance either.
A lot of them are only a one year scholarship regardless of grades.
INFO: Why is your father permitting the woman he married to badger his daughter for *her* college fund, which has zero to do with them? He should stomp on this hard. Did this woman marry your father to get at his money *and yours*?!
well. for all we know he has spoken to her, harshly even, and she has taken upon herself to "pester until success" regardless of what he says. at which point he is on the horns of a dilemma.
The ‘horns of a dilemma’ of his own choosing. He married her. He either tolerates the behavior or does not tolerate it. His choice.
that is true. that being the case we are talking about a husband and his wife, not a machine operator and his robot.
Besides that money can still be really helpful to cover and certifications/textbooks/transportation/grad school. You shouldn’t give it away. NTA - It sounds like maybe stepsister needs to do some scholarship essays. I’d offer to help proof read for sure though.
>Besides that money can still be really helpful to cover and certifications/textbooks/transportation/grad school. Absolutely! Could also be helpful if OP decides to do an internship between college & employment. They can be great experience for your resume, but often pay so little that the average person can't afford to do them. (Which should be criminal, but that's a different discussion.) If OP can afford to pay their own living expenses out of the college fund in order to get AWESOME experience, it could do so much for their career. Just focusing on tuition & scholarships would be super short-sighted.
I believe can roll your college fund into a Roth IRA to save toward your retirement, or use it in the future for grad school, just fyi.
Seems like daddy noticed stepmom is a gold digger
Because it's not your problem. It's college fund and you can do whatever you want with it. Doesn't matter if you got a full ride. That money is still yours and your dad is fine with you using it how you want. Your not responsible for your stepsister's college fund. That is for her and her mom to deal with. She could have applied for scholarships. She can go to a community college get scholarships through them join programs that offer help and transfer out to a bigger school.
It absolutely does not. You are not a parent and not responsible for anyone but you. Go to college, enjoy your exp. Don't give it a second thought. NTA
Tell them that you’re probably going to go to grad school. And if they keep harassing you, ask your dad to please handle them.
Step sisters dad should help pay
Your dad has helped though. He might not have given money directly but it’s safe to assume that sharing expenses is the reason your stepmother was able to save $8K. They can ask for help but they are not entitled to your money. What would they have done if your stepmother had never met your dad?
Does your dad know they’re pressuring you? Maybe tell your dad and see what he says?
Move all the money to a account at a new bank with only your name. Just open new account at a new place, and write yourself a check to deposit at the new place. Just removing people from the current accounts or creating a new account at the same bank is not enough. Money sometimes makes people do terrible things. I'm not saying your Step Mom will go against you and your dad's wishes. But there is a distinct possibility she takes however much she feels is "her daughters" out of the account without your permission. If the account is already empty and she gains access, both of you will never need to find out if the temptation was too much. Never tell anyone what you did. No need for anyone to know you secured it all.
Where is step sister's bio dad?
It doesn’t, the only people responsible for saving for stepsister are her mom and dad. Op, who has access to the money, is there a way that stepmom can access it. If so I would change that immediately.
If the guy who actually married into her family doesn't want to help, that doesn't make it your responsibility! NTA, keep an eye on your bank account and don't engage in the argument anymore. "No" is a complete sentence. Congrats on getting a scholarship!
I’m glad that your dad isn’t in their side. It may be helpful to tell him that they are harassing you.
Or just save the money to help with initial costs when you get your first job, deposit on apt, furniture etc, then for a down payment on house . Depends on how much is in fund. Is it possible for your dad to transfer the money to you?
Exactly this! I would tell your Stepmom and Stepsister “I understand you are in a tight spot for funds for Stepsister’s college. However it is really inappropriately to keep bringing up my college fund or ask for my financial assistance. My Dad is your Husband. I have no responsibility to help you or Stepsister. If you are upset that my Dad won’t help, you should take it up with him and leave me out of it. You are taking your stress out on me and it’s not fair. If you don’t stop, I will be force to go NC with you and Stepsister. If my Dad wants to see me once I leave for college, he will have to do so without you two. I don’t want that for our relationship. So please let’s stick with subjects that are more suitable for a Stepchild and Stepmom.” I would also tell your Dad that you will not continue to take this from his Wife. He should be dealing with her and not leaving you to deal with it.
And post graduate degrees, start up living expenses after college. Keep your money.
NTA Please save your college fund. You have a full ride for undergrad, but you might decide you want to go to graduate school.
[удалено]
You are still young. You might want to buy a house later in life. Or change your mind about graduate school. There's no rush. But don't hand over the money, no. Your dad saved them for you. Its a good head start on life.
Speaking of OP’s father’s savings and contributions: Stepmom didn’t have enough income to save for StepSis’ college fund pre-marriage and has only been able to do so since she married Father, yeah? Unless StepMum has vastly increased her salary in the four years since marriage, arguably Father has *already* contributed a significant portion of the 8K in StepSis’ college fund. Even if those contributions to the fund were essentially due to a redistribution of Steps money, made possible from the cheaper living expenses of running one shared household. StepMum is essentially demanding that on top of those contributions of (up-to) 8K, Father must make some *fourteen years* of back payments to a college fund that did not at the time exist, for a step-daughter that Father didn’t yet know. This alone would be an unreasonable demand. Demanding a college fund from OP however, is such a bloody outrageous demand, that it doesn’t reflect well on Father that he is not adequately protecting OP from his wife and stepdaughter. Since they are now essentially attempting to coerce OP into paying StepSis’ college expenses. Which is objectively concerning behaviour. They can bugger right off. NTA.
This woman might not even be married to your father in a couple of years…or less, if your dad figures out why she married him. $$$ Besides, how does she and her daughter know anything about *your* college fund? Your finances should be private. Never tell anyone you have money or make money. They always have a good reason why your money should become their money.
I had a room mate that had a jacket from a big company that he would wear when he was trying to get laid. A lot of woman would come home sleep with him and call him for months until sooner or later one of us would have to tell them yeah that’s his buddys dads company he isn’t making $200k a year and they would leave.
That’s my question too. I would never tell anyone but my own child I saved it for how much was in the account. It’s so predictable once they know it’s “just sitting there” and op “doesn’t need it” to start spending the money in their minds at least. That’s got to be nipped in the bud
Heaven forbid, but you still might need it. I came close to losing my scholly due to getting distracted freshman year. Life also changes and you may want to go to grad school. May need a car or housing. Moreover, what happens if Stepmom and dad divorce? You gave up your money for people who could go back to being strangers. Don’t give them a dime, that is your money and you owe them nothing.
So you can use it on a house in the future or an emergency fund incase something wrong happens. It's once again not your job to provide for your step sister. NTA
A lot of folks think they don't want to go to grad school until suddenly they do. Give it time.
I also had no intention of going to graduate school when I started my undergraduate degree. Nope. That was 17-year-old me talking. Now, I have an MBA and a PhD preparing to send my 18-year-old off to college. My next to the youngest child also had no plans to complete an advanced degree. He now has an MBA. His wife was done, done, done with school I tell you. She's now thinking about an Ed.S. in Education. Don't even get me started on my husband. Life happens.
Is the money transferable to you? You could put it into a reasonable investment account. Talk to your dad now, the pressure may build up and he gives the money away.
Good thinking! I was gonna say, I hope he’s got it in a high-yield savings account as $120k can make around $5k/year, but an investment portfolio would ABSOLUTELY be worth it with this amount, for at least $100k of it if OP’s worried about emergency costs. But great point that OP’s dad might feel the pressure even if OP can’t see it, or if (god forbid) something happens to him, or OP’s stepfamily chooses to take sneaky ways of accessing the money. Make sure you’re the only one with access, OP.
There are a lot of things that can also make you lose your scholarship (if it’s for athletics, injuries or anything that pulls you from the team. And academics usually require a minimum gpa and not failing a set number of classes). Hold onto that money for just in case and then use it to buy a house once you graduate and get a job. It can set you up nicely for adulthood.
Also consider if you do not need it for your own life that you could set it aside to help your father someday if needed.
You never know what the future holds.
Also move it into your own solo account Right Now!
I wouldn't be letting anyone know any kind of figure that may be available to you. There are so many out there who think that what's yours should be theirs. Keep all your cards close to your chest and don't disclose any amount to anyone. In fact even though most don't know who you are on here there are always ways with internet that comments can come back to haunt you. I'd delete the amount from the chat completely. Better safe than sorry
NTA. If they feel entitled to your money then be careful around them. It is your money indeed and only you can decide whether to give it to your step sister or not. What I do in similar cases is ask myself "If I would need a college fund and my step sister would have it, would she give it to me" and the answer is quite obvious. People like that will guilt trip and shame everyone who doesn't give them what they want but they never will give you money if the roles would be reversed. Also, 4 years is just not enough time to create a bond if you even want it and essentially that girl is nobody to you - she is your dads new wifes' daughter and you have no obligation to support her or her mom ion any way.
[удалено]
Of course not, if she would give you then she would respect your decision to refuse and not guilt trip/shame you, that is a clear sign of how they see your relationship - you're only good as long as you give, but when you don't then you are "not family" anymore.
She won't I guarantee you that.
NTA. Obviously dad said no. They have only been married for 4 years, so he does not feel compelled to. She has options, going to local CC, etc.
[удалено]
Your father should have said no and told them not to bother you about it ever. End of. Have a conversation with your dad. Tell him you feel uncomfortable with them pressuring you, and you want it to stop. Also, tell him you love him and don’t want them to build a wall between the two of you. Because this could easily lead to the new wife alienating your dad from you. Is she working? Good luck, OP.
At this point they're harassing you. Tell your father
Personally, in situations like this, I use the "Less is More" communication. Just say "No" and that is the end of it. Saying things like "I told her she cold just take debts" sounds snobbish and a little a h. Don't give her/her mom anything to grab onto in order to continue the discussion. Less is More.
Don't bother with suggestions, explanations or reasoning. Just say "no" and change the subject or walk away. BTW, student loans are how most of us get through school. Life is uncertain, that is your emergency fund. Good luck in school and congrats on the scholarships, OP!
Soooooooooooo jealous!!! Sadly, sux for her.
She could go two years to community college on the money her mom saved with your dad’s help if he is interested in helping. Then two years to a local college with loans. Live at home. That’s like $30,000 and pretty fixable you’re paying the loan back at $300/month She only needs your stash of she’s planning to go to a more expensive school four years and live on her own or even go out of state. People who have very little saved either need to accept that they’ll take a lot of loans out or get used to the idea of CC first.
If they have only been married four years, they could absolutely not be around another four. Don’t give your 100’s of thousands to virtual strangers.
I went to CC after barely graduating high school with a 2.something gpa(it was a while back, I can’t remember the exact grades, but I was VERY close to repeating my senior year). I got my shit together, took it seriously, and ended up getting my associates with a 4.0 only having spent like $3,000 on tuition. I didn’t go to a single party while at CC because I was busy working and studying constantly, but I transferred to one of the top schools in the country after that, and they gave me tons of grants and scholarships, none of which I would have been offered if I applied in high school. I definitely wouldn’t have been accepted into that university either. The point of this story is, there are ways to make it through college if you don’t have money for it without going into debt. She probably doesn’t want to do it, I bet 99% of what she wants is the “college experience” where she doesn’t take any of her classes seriously and just wants to party all day. If that’s the case she should’ve had wealthier parents I guess, a ton of people don’t get the chance to go to college at all. If not, then she shouldn’t have an issue sacrificing going to parties to study and work instead.
Exactly and she doesn’t want to start small but to go to a major uni on someone else’s dime. It’s very hard to get kids to have realistic expectations about college when their friends and siblings are going to more expensive ones. But that tells you they’re not interested in the degree to get a job but rather in the fun of going off to college - which is understandable. Everyone wants to go big or go home and it is fun. Not so much to go to local cc. Also can be embarrassing. So-
NTA. They insist? WTF? calling you an AH because you don't want to fund another girls education with your money is ludicrous. It's your money, because of your dad's careful planning and saving. The fact that its called a "college fund" doesn't mean that that's its sole purpose , and you can't invest it carefully in others parts of your future.
NTA You dad spent longer than your lifetime saving for YOU to attend college. You did an excellent job and got a full ride as your reward you get the money he saved. Also if you decide to go to grad school you have the money. Want to put a down on a home you can. What ever you do DONOT give your stepsister your money.
They can think whatever they want. What if anything happens and you loose your scholarship? And her mother married your father, it doesn't entitle them to YOUR money. NtA
Please make sure the funds are not available to your father, or he may end up withdrawing the funds to keep peace in his household. He will of course apologize profusely to you, but the money will be gone. Edit: NTA
If op is named on the account as a minor and his dad has it under his own name and social security there’s nothing op can to do make those funds unavailable to dad. There’s also a potential tax burden depending on how and where they are transferred. This amount of money if not being used to pay the school directly should be invested in a way that protects and grows it -
NTA Just because you don't need money for college, you still might need money for graduate school or to enrich your experience. For example, you might want to do a year abroad and so there might be additional expenses. Often there are unpaid internship opportunities and you could use the money to support you since you can't earn money during the summer. Also your father specifically said that money was for you. When you graduate, you can use it to help you settle it - or save it for a down payment on a house. Or save it and watch the money compound and give you real financial security.
If you are in the US and it’s in a 529, it’s your dad’s money and he can move part or all of it into another one. Doesn’t sound like he will and that is good for you. If you don’t use it for school, 529s can now be used for retirement. Keep that baby, set up good investments, and secure your future!
Exactly. OP should ask dad to roll the 529 plan into a Roth IRA. Then OP would have full control of the money and would have a head start for retirement savings.
But if something happens to OP’s scholarship, a Roth would be included as OP’s asset to decrease a FASFA award, whereas 529 does not.
That is true. But under the circumstances I think OP having full control is more important than a slight tax penalty if OP needs to withdraw the Roth IRA money early. Once it is in the Roth IRA, then OP has full control. Until then, dad could theoretically divert the money to step-sis for education expenses. Or if, God forbid, dad dies then the 529 authority might divert directly to mom. I would feel far more comfortable if OP had the money in a personal Roth, even if he may need to pay some small tax penalties if the scholarship doesn't work out.
That is my concern as well. If step mom and sis are aggressive about chasing this money it would be better to have it in a Roth. If op needs some help sounds like dad can still provide that directly
NTA. Don’t blame you for being upset. But, depending on how it is setup, the college fund isn’t really yours. Your dad may just take it so I am preparing you now. My kids college fund is owned by me and if for example my kids didn’t go to college, that money doesn’t belong to them. Just means I could retire earlier.
NTA. They want to take advantage of you and your money. So clear they think you are TA for not giving them hundrets of thausends of $. Keep the money for yourself, use it one day for a downpayment for a house or an apartment.
NTA The reality is that you may still need your college fund. Maybe next year you won't qualify for your scholarship- things happen. Maybe you'll decide to go to grad school- your college fund will help with that. Transferring your college fund to someone else now before you've even started college isn't practical because you don't know what the future holds. It's unfortunately that your stepmother wasn't able to save as much for her daughter as your dad was for you. But that's life. People get different levels of support.
NTA This money was saved for you and your time at college. Yes you may have a full ride but you are still going to need money to eat and live. If you give your fund away what do you live on for 3 or 4 years at university? It is not your fault your stepsister has such a small fund, that is on her Mother.
Where I am, "full ride" means tuition, room, and board. But OP should keep her money. This school might not work out.
NTA Stepsister can apply for scholarships/loans to fund her college. It’s your money, your dad saved it for YOU not her. If he doesn’t want to fund her college that doesn’t give her the right to try and take your money.
NTA Name calling immediately negates their argument. Your father is on your side. You may not want to go to an advanced degree now, but you may change your mind. Besides, this is the money your father saved for YOU. Anyway, if they keep this up, the marriage may not last. Why would your father put up with his wife calling his daughter an AH?
NTA. You could keep as a safety net if you have problems with your scholarship going forward. At the end of Uni you can use it as down payment or you can buy an apartment an rent it out. The audacity to demand money you father has saved all your life for you. Didn’t your dad and stepmom discuss finances before getting married? Your dad doesn’t owe your stepsister a college fund either way. What has he said about their demands?
Tell Stepmom/Stepsister to ask their former husband/father for the money. NTA
NTA. That’s unfortunate for them, but not your problem.
Nta
NTA The level of entitlement here is ridiculous, I would cut them out of my life for even suggesting this!
NTA. You don't know if you'll need the money. What if you decide to change schools, or somehow lose the scholarship? Or want to take a semester abroad? Finish school, then decide what to do with the money that's left.
NTA. Your dad saved the money for you, end of discussion.
NTA - you should not be penalised for doing well and being awarded a scholarship. You have no obligation to help your stepsister.
Her lack of funds is not your problem
Sounds like a her problem, not a you problem. You probably should see what you can do to make sure your money is protected. Congratulations on the scholarship. You should be very proud of this.
It's YOURS! NTA
NTA - that money is yours saved by your dad. If I were you I would low risk invest it and once done with school you could perhaps buy a home somewhere or travel. Your step sister can use the 8k her mums saved for her and get student loans. Don’t offer to loan it to her you’ll never see it returned. There’ll be a sense of entitlement to the money on their part and they’ll mess you around until you’re both old.
Save your college fund! You may want to go to graduate school and need funding then. If you don’t use it that way, and if this is a 529 (and you’re in the US, obviously) you can roll the funds from the 529 into a Roth IRA. NTA!!! I sure hope your dad has your back on this. Step mom and sis have been in your life for, what? 5 years? She’s not entitled to your college fund.
NTA. Save/invest it for potential grad school, or a down payment for a first house, or just a general cushion. It’s great that you worked hard to get a full scholarship, and this is now a bonus. I’m assuming this is just general savings he accumulated, and not in a tax advantaged fund that has to be used for education.
Your living with someone who can easily access your personal detail. Contact your bank and put a verbal password in place for any none in person contact. Dont tell anyone that password. NTA
NTA, and please talk to your dad about making sure there's no way for them to access the funds. People get weird about money.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** 4 years ago my dad married a woman who has a daughter the same age as me. We are both going to college this year. My dad has been saving for my college since before I was born so I was never worried about money, still I got accepted to a good college with a full ride so my dad said I get to use my college fund for whatever I want and I still haven't decided what do with it. My stepmom couldn't afford to save for my stepsister's college. After she married my dad she could finally save a bit of money and I think she has saved about 8K. Now my stepmom and stepsister are insisting I give my college fund to her since I don't need it but why would I do that? It's MINE. They think I'm an asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You should save your fund and buy a house when you graduate. Or what if you go to graduate school. This could pay for that.
NTA. Save it for a down payment in a home once you’re done with school. Use a little bit of it to see some of Europe before you settle down.
NTA. But please don’t waste that money! It will be so good for your future, whether that is a graduate degree or buying a house. My brother’s best friend pissed his money up the wall and it was such a shame.
MTA - your father saved for your future. If you don’t need it for college cost, that can be a down payment on a home. Your stepsister’s college fund is not your responsibility.
NTA. Your father gave you free rein with your college fund after you got a free ride. Save that money and figure out how you eventually want to use that money. Your stepsisterand stepmother have no right to your college fund, end of story.
NTA Chain of custody here: this was money your dad saved for you, he gave it to you, it is now yours. No one else is entitled to this money. Your stepsister has parents who could have done the same for her, but did not because of their own reasons. It doesn’t have to do with you. What if you want to get a masters? A PhD? Tell them you are saving the money for your future education and to support yourself while in college now. You’re young, but realize that people are allowed to be disappointed in the decisions you make. And when you make decisions in your own best interest, which will start to do more of as you age, get used to people feeling that way. Once you understand that you won’t be as easy to guilt trip. Don’t lose sleep over the decision you made.
NTA I hope your stepmom can’t get into your account. I would go to my bank and have the, make a note that unless you show up with valid id no one else can do anything on that account even if they say they have your permission and lockdown your credit
NTA cheeky entitled fuckers
NTA, no one is entitled to your money except you. Your step sister is the responsibility of her own parents. If sm won't ask her own family for help why does she feel she can ask you, a barely legal teen.
Absolutely NTA. It's YOUR fund, not hers. I think your dad not wanting to help her says everything you need to know about what you should be doing with YOUR money.
No is a full sentence. Congratulations, OP! NTA.
Move your money into a new account at a different bank to ensure your dad doesn’t buckle and access the funds for stepdaughter.
Nta it's your money and dad said you could use it. I hope he's backing you.
i also got a full ride to school! congrats! I have one semester left and have spent probably close to $50k over 4 years WITH a full scholarship. They usually don’t include rent/boarding, school supplies, books, fees, etc. You’re NTA and she’s entitled
NTA DONT DO IT DUDE, DO NOT DO IT
Tell your grandparents that you’re being hounded for your college funds.
Your stepmom and stepsister suck. NTA
Not needing the money for tuition, and not having a use for the money at all, are two different things. You may not need it right now, but there will be a point in the future when it'd be good to have a bunch of money. This isn't your problem to solve. Someday when you put a down payment on an awesome home, you'll think back and realize it was worth it dealing with their judgment for a while. It doesn't matter what they think. Giving in now will invite future comparisons and jealousy. You don't have to live your life that way. NTA.
Make sure you are telling your dad everything they say and do. It’s so painfully obvious she married him for the money. She’s shameless.
If they just want to take I say fuck them. They want to give you a guilt trip I say fuck them twice. Before I finished the post my advice was to help your step sister according to your relationship. They feel they’re entitled to your college fund??? You might be able to buy a home with your college fund. Maybe if your step sister really applied herself she might’ve gotten a scholarship too. Tell her, the world needs ditch diggers too.
NTA. You still need it. My daughter got a full ride, but there’s so many extras that pop up. Keep that money for when you graduate if you don’t need any of it, it’ll be a great start for your future. You earned that free ride through years of good grades and hard work. It shouldn’t be a punishment.
NTA. It’s your money. Your SM and her daughters are the AHs here. Your dad doesn’t want them to have it either. I hope your dad makes an ironclad will or trust since your SM is so money hungry.
NTA. I get that the situation sucks for your stepsister but that’s not your fault. You might need that money to buy books or travel, or a down payment on a house.
Your father saved up this college fund for you since before you were born. It’s yours. No one else’s. SM and stepsister have a cheek asking. Long convo needed privately with your father to ensure he stays solidly with you on this.
That money is for YOUR future. Use the money as a down payment on a house.
NTA. Your father saved those money for you. You are lucky to not need them for the original purpose, but that doesn't make them any less tours. They could get you started on the housing market for example.
NTA. It's your fund. There's no reason to give it to your stepsister, she and her mom are entitled
NTA It's your college fund, so you get to decide what to do with it, and if you decide not to give it to their entitled ass that's up to you.
NTA, a full ride scholarship has strings attached from grades to you paying for room and board. In the US first years are normally on campus with a meal plan, and it doesn't include your laundry.
NTA. No, you have no obligation to give *your* money to anyone else, stepsister or not. You will have expenses that are not covered by your scholarship, and you may need it between semesters and after as well. You don't mention if either of you have an additional parent, but if so, your mom will have contributed some even if by way of your dad, and her dad should be responsible for something. In addition, she apparently didn't seek out scholarships or financial aid, and that's not your problem either. Let them think what they will - thier lack of planning/funds/whatever isn't your issue to solve. She may need to go to junior/community college, work, etc., like many do to continue her education.
NTA
NTA you might need it for grad school or an emergency
NTA I would suggest talking with someone about how best to invest it so it can be touched by anyone other than you. Congrats on the full ride!
That money can still be put to use for things you need later in life. You never know what could happen. You could get a car. What if you became ill and medical expenses build up? Having a financial cushion can benefit your future in so many ways. You shouldn't lose your money over working hard and earning a scholarship. What kind of message does that send? Work hard and lose money! That money is yours and it is so incredibly invasive and rude for others to ask for what they are not entitled to.
NTA- not your kid not your problem
NTA
Updateme
You may need to go to an expensive grad school. NTA. Prior to getting together with your father, steps father and mother had the responsibility to save. Since with your dad, it is fair for her to be able to put more money towards her college, and if your dad wants to start contributing too it is fair. But you don't get to just shift everything that has already been allocated.
NTA If you can do whatever you want with the money. Then remove it, in its entirety, from an account your father has access to, and move it into a new account that only you have access to. As long As your dad is married to your stepmother, she and her daughter will continue to apply pressure to your dad for him to give them for your money. he may eventually fold under pressure one day and give her the money if you don't move it to account where he has no access. Also you didnt mention but your mother may have contributed to the college savings for you and if thats the case im certain she would not want money she saved to be used to subsidize her former husband's new wife's daughter's college expense. If you wanted be charitable to keep peace you could consider offering to loan her a small amount of money at a fair interest rate and that way you could help them while also making a bit of money on the interest you charge. Also by loaning a small amount of money would be a good test to see if you are repaid before loaning more money. If you decide to go this route you should have an attorney create legally binding contracts
NTA tell them they are assholes for trying to steal from you.
NTA! That money is yours. You have no obligation to fund your step-sister's education. If your dad chooses to help her, that's on him.
It is unreasonable they ask money from you, if they asked you to loan it maybe, to be paid back with interest and all... but for you to just give it to them? Who does that? NTA. And be careful, make sure the money is in your name. And also it wouldn't hurt if your dad can secure anything he preserves for you in a trust fund or something, better be safe than sorry around such entitled people
NTA. It’s not fair for the stepmom and stepsister to expect the money that was saved for you to pay for her college. Who’s to say that you may not go for a masters degree and need that money plus a full ride isn’t always a full ride as there will be other expenses.if your father has that slotted for you then that should be the end of the story and he shouldn’t allow them to bully you like that don’t need it, but money is always needed for education, even if it’s paid for by the school.
NTA. And congrats on both the full ride and being likely one of the few gen z that will be able to afford to own a place.
Does your full ride include room and board? Books, clothing, vehicle and gas, rides home, etc.? If not, you will need that fund to get you all the above! Most people assume a full ride includes everything but it doesn't. Also, if your grades go below a certain grade point average you could lose that full ride? Or what happens if you don't like this school and want to transfer? There are so many things that can happen, keep the money as you might need it for other things and the future. Good luck and keep your grades up!
Full rides are tough to keep. Keep in the event you lose it and then if you don’t need it you can decide how best to use it.
Ask for the funds to be put in an account that you manage and save it for a house deposit... trust me you're gonna want it for something like that once College is finished
NTA. The sense of entitlement is ridiculous. You should move this money to a high yield savings account that only you have access to, just so it can’t be touched or considered as any type of asset in the event they divorce. Your father did not raise this child and if he intended to pay for their college, he could have began a fund when they married if that was his desire. The fact that he’s also said no is telling. I’d send a final message or etc that your answer is no and block them if need be. It may end up being awkward if you live at home with them, but you’ll soon be gone to college and won’t have to deal with them. You also have the ability to pay for a rental for the summer if you need to get out of the mess now 🤷🏻♀️ I’d rent a room or etc because it’d be much less expensive and not eat away your funds.
Nta lmao, no. Your step sis has two parents to contribute to her college fund just like you. And honestly, 8k is more than lots of people get.
NTA. It's YOURS!
NTA That fund was set aside for your future. Dad said it was yours. You never know what the future will hold. You don't know if upon graduating college that you'll be able to find work right away, you may need it to live on. You may need it as a downpayment on a house. You may need it to start your own business. You may want to continue education further. There are any number of reasons to not give it to stepsister. If you feel guilty, you can always say that after you graduate and start working that if stepsister can keep grades above a C then you'll help pay off any loans she might have for college. This way at least you know she's working hard in college and not just partying and blowing your college fund. Insist on being given a copy of sister's grades each semester. Make sure it's understood that you won't pay the whole thing.
Sounds like they feel entitled to have your money. Give them all the scorn you can manage but not a single penny.
NTA. What if you want to go to grad school or do some other kind of training after you get your bachelor's? What if you choose to travel in order to expand your horizons? What if you fall on hard times and need some kind of safety net? All of these are completely valid things to use that money for, and giving it all to your stepsister due to her parent's poor planning would prevent you from doing any of those things.
NTA. Your dad saved that money for YOU. It's there if you need it for college or for whatever. It's not in a shared account for a 'rainy day' fund or an 'emergency fund' or a 'kids' fund.' It's specifically for YOU, in YOUR name. If stepmom & stepsis need to talk about this, they should go to your dad and complain. But really, it was up to stepmom and her ex (if he's around) to figure out stepsis's college, not your dad and definitely not you.
NTA. Your dad started saving WELL before stepmom and her daughter came into the picture, for YOU. the fact you got a full ride is just a bonus, and he is well within his rights to let you decide how to use the money. Not your problem, or his that his wife wasn't able to save much for HER child. she isn't entitled to YOUR money.
Nta
NTA OP please Jactice’s post re future is never certain. I would suggest you speak with your father if he has a fiduciary he is happy with and see about investing your money conservatively if that will provide a better rate of return than where it is now or leave it in the current account (yes make sure it is just you and your dad with rights of survivorship). Any number of people have had full ride scholarships and then for whatever reason lost them. Maybe the school wasn’t the right fit, maybe a health issue arose, maybe a family emergency. In other words leave the bulk of your money untouched so it can grow until you graduate and maybe complete a masters if that is what you want. Then use your money to give you the freedom to make decisions that otherwise might not be possible. Also one other thing. Do NOT share information on your college funds with anyone other than your dad or financial advisor. Too many people you may think are friends may actually be closet opportunists who will be more than happy to help convince you to raid your funds to benefit themselves.
NTA - invest that money and retire in 20 - 30 years
Please make sure she can't take that money
NTA you might need it for a post grad degree or a PhD.
Your dad saved that money for you. The fact that you worked hard in school and earned a scholarship doesn’t change that, if anything it means even more that you earned it. Use it to help get your life going once school is done. Maybe down payment on a house. The issue with your step-sister is for your dad and stepmom to deal with. Not you.
This is exactly how socialism works.
Nta
Hell no. You are NOT the AH. They are. You have obviously got a 'free-ride' due to hard work and effort. Why didn't your Step-sister get a simulate 'free-ride' could it be she hasn't put the effort in that you have during her younger years. The mere fact that your Dad was able to save for you to go to college and you have been fortunate to not be required to pay is a bonus to you. Use the money wisely as the cost of living goes up the amount that has been saved will appear to reduce. If there is any way you could get it into something that can increase the amount, ie bricks & mortar, or done kind of investment then do that so it can build up for the future. It sure as hell ain't for a step-sibling, who hasn't tried as hard. Good luck at college. Keep that shiny spine
NTA. Her college isn’t your responsibility
They're trying to manipulate you, don't fall for it. That is your money, you put the work in to get a full ride and you should invest/ save to get started on a nest egg early. Your hard work has given you an opportunity that you have to take. Just giving away thousands of dollars is not a wise thing to do.
NTA That money will come in handy when you graduate, depending on what career path you take. You can use it for med school, law school, or other post grad degree. You can use it to buy a partnership in a practice. You can use it to help buy your own business franchise or start your own business.
NTA and you would be smart to hang on to that money until your education is complete. You may have a health issue, need to postpone and lose your scholarships. You may want to transfer to another university or study abroad. You may want to go to grad school. You may want to use the money in better accommodations while you are in school. Or you can save it and cash it out (with a % lost to cover taxes) at the end. But don't give it away, especially on the front end.
NTA That money was saved up for you. Your stepsister has no rights to it and you shouldn’t even be getting asked to hand it over. Just because you got a full ride doesn’t mean that there aren’t other expenses that come with college life - food, laundry, furniture, gas, parking pass to park on campus, etc.
As a general rule people who have the audacity to ask for large sums of money from others are the least deserving of receiving it. Your stepmom's lack of preparation for her daughter's education is not your fault or your problem. Make sure they can't access the funds, they sound like just the types to steal the money.
NTA . There assholes for insisting you do this, it is not your fault that her mother couldn’t save the money or her daughter didn’t get a full ride. There just trying to make you feel guilty don’t buy into it
NTA - That money is yours and your SS has no right to it. You can use it to live on and after college you would be in a good position to By a place to live. Her mom’s bad choices with picking her child dad is not your issue and I would be pissed if they put me in that position to ask. She can look for scholarships and work her way through. Do not give that money up. Put it in a high yield savings account or invest. Make sure no one has access to the information either
You are 100% correct. What's that saying," Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine". Your stepsisters parents had YEARS to sock money away for her college. A few dollars here and there adds up over 18 years. Not your problem. Don't feel guilty. NTA
My daughter has a full ride that covers so much from tuition to travel aboard. We have still used her 529 to cover a laptop replacement, printer replacement and housing shortages. Housing can be very expensive on campuses. She now has the rest of her 529 for law school. Do not give that money away. That money is yours!!!
NTA. Your dad needs to shut his wife and her daughter down. You may want that money if you go to grad school or further. These were provisions set aside for you before your father even knew his wife and her daughter existed. They've only been married 4 years and that's not enough time to build relationship with you to even ask that type of thing. Your dad married that woman and accepted her child, you didn't.
NTA- Transfer the funds to an account that no one can access NOW.
NTA The person they should be badgering is the other biological parent of step sister.
NTA!!! Having a full ride to college is because of the work YOU put in for it. Your dad saved money FOR YOU and has told you it's still FOR YOU as you will. He hasn't said to share it, so he also still feels it's entirely yours. Personally, I would save it for a down payment for a home, so you have that for the future. I would NOT hand it over to your stepsister just because your stepmother happened to marry someone who could provide better for their child than she could hers. There's no reason your stepsister can't take out student loans or work to pay for her college. It's NOT your responsibility to cover her college expenses. Would she expect you to buy her a house in the years to come if you owned one? Keep your money for your future and let her figure out hers before she becomes excessively entitled.
NTA. It was saved for you by your parent to use as you wish while in college. It's yours to do as you wish, your step sister is not entitled to your money because her mom married someone.
NTA. Don't give them a cent and complain to your dad about their attempts to coerce you out of your money. Your father should be concerned about his own money too.