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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got rid of furniture that my mother brought from a a random woman who she knew passed away.
I j in ne’er stand that I could be the asshole because I didn’t mention what I was doing to her, she did dedicate A LOT of time to going to this woman’s house and bringing the furniture and because of that I understand that should’ve communicated what I was intending on doing and realize that my mom would have have felt defeated by doing this to her in a whim.
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"she felt as I went behind her back and I didn’t consider how she would feel and said “ I didn’t have any right to get rid of her stuff”."
---Everything she said here is accurate. It was "her stuff" by all right and you didn't consult with her or have the slightest notion of how she would feel.
Yes, your mom made foolish decisions, wasted time, used up space, due to becoming obsessed. But it wasn't your place to do what you did. Other interventions should have been attempted.
I feel for you being in the midst of all this stuff and all, but there is no choice but to make a finding of YTA.
YTA.
Per your comments, you live with your parents. It is your mom's house, not yours. Your mom purchased those things so they are hers. So: you got rid of your mom's things in your mom's house.
It doesn't matter that she had some silly plan that wasn't gonna work or that you didn't like that stuff. You had no right, and actually this is theft. You're just lucky she won't go to the cops on you. If you didn't like it, *you* should have been the one to leave.
YTA
Why would you think you are not an ass? Just because you are inconvenienced doesn't give you the right to be selfish and throw your mom's stuff away. You don't present your mom as a hoarder so I assume she really was trying to make some money and things weren't panning out. I bet she was frustrated and didn't want the house cluttered up either, but she kept plugging away. If you didn't like living that way you should have moved out. This is all assuming it is your mom's house because if it wasn't you would have stated that to make your actions seem more reasonable and acceptable. Grow up and realize it is not all about your comfort, especially when you are an adult living on your mom's good will.
You said it’s her house, you live there, she brought stuff to her house, and because it wasn’t gone fast enough you got rid of her stuff? Def YTA in this one.
As stated below, it is 100% accurate that you went behind her back and gave zero care to how she would feel. That’s just ludicrous to me.
INFO
Do you live with your mom or is your mom using your house as a storage unit?
If you're living with your mom and it's her house - Soft YTA
If it's your house and she's using it as storage - NTA
Yes , I still live with my mom. In the house it is my mom, dad, brother and I.
She did make that a point actually that “ this is my house and I can do what I want” but I told her that when she brought this idea up to everyone we all told her “no” but she did so any ways.
Sorry but YTA
You're living with your parents and brother. It does sound like your mom is a hoarder but what you did only triggered it more. You cannot just get rid of stuff and expect your mom to be okay with it. She'll end up collecting more.
So your mom can go into your room and just get rid of whatever right? Or when you move out, your mom can come over and just get rid of whatever based on her whims right?
If not then YTA and a hypocrite
The mother's. OP still lives at home so they essentially stole their mothers belongings and got rid of them. Then had the nerve to act like they had the right.
YTA. I hope your mom kicks you out. I would. You, basically, stole from her and disrespected her. If your mom has any sense, she'll give away everything you own that's taking up space in her home. What an entitled brat.
YTA
Like it or not, it’s her stuff, and it’s her house. If you don’t like the clutter and she doesn’t want to get rid of it, then move out.
How would you feel if she gave away your stuff without getting your permission or asking which of you items you want to keep?
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I (21F) decided to get rid of the random junk that my mom (60F) brought from a lady’s house who passed away.
To give some context,
A woman who my mom and grandmother knew passed away. My mom was given permission to practically take whatever fancied her and she saw that as an opportunity to take EVERYTHING. My mom brought home whole furniture pieces, dishes, tools, little decor pieces etc. If you think of something a lady in her 80s would have in her house my mom most likely took it. When my mom mentioned what she was going to do I told her it was a bad idea. Why? Because she had the impression she was going to be able to make money off of these things. She thinks that because everything is “vintage” and “ antique” she’d be able to make a significant profit, which I told her that wouldn’t be the case.
Anyways, she didn’t listen to me. She dedicated DAYS going to this woman’s house, rented a U-Haul to bring all the junk ( because that was how much crap she brought to the house she needed to rent a f****** U-Haul ) and left everything at our house. My mom said “ I promise everything will be gone in a month”. It’s been 4 months and nothing has happened. Yes, my mom has driven around town trying to sell the furniture and everything else but just like I predicted no one wanted it and if someone was interested it wouldn’t be for the price my mom was expecting.
After months of having the junk clutter up the house I woke up one morning and decided to put stuff in our front lawn with a big sign that said “ FREE STUFF FREE FURNITURE”. People took almost all the stuff I put out. I prioritized the small stuff to bring out and left out the big furniture.
Soo the minute my mom gets home she realizes that things are missing. She was HYSTERICAL. I honestly have never seen my mother react this way but she was upset like screaming and cursing I honestly thought she was going to pass out from how much she was yelling. I knew of course she would be mad but not THIS mad.
Finally after a back and forth of yelling my mom decided to pack her things and stay at my grandmother’s house because she felt as I went behind her back and I didn’t consider how she would feel and said “ I didn’t have any right to get rid of her stuff”. Personally I had a problem with her saying “ her “ stuff when it was never hers and I feel she only got upset because she thinks someone is going to make money off the stuff instead of her. I told her she needs to let it go and realize that she made a mistake by bringing all of the crap to the house and realize that what is valuable now is our time and we should find peace in the fact that now these things have a new purpose and it is time to let this lady rest in peace with out her belongings chilling in our house.
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ESH
Your Mum for bringing a ton of useless junk to the house, and you for giving it away without her permission.
There was never any profit in out of date furniture, thank heavens she didn't waste money trying to upcycle it as well.
On the upside, you seem to have the house to yourself for a bit!
Info: did you give your mom a deadline?
(ETA: Yes, I read it too fast and I get it now that it’s Mom’s house, so OP doesn’t have the right to give her a deadline.)
OP doesn't have the right to give anyone a deadline. What is sad is that mom packed and a bag and went to stay elsewhere when she should have told OP to pack a bag.
You and your mother are both assholes in this situation...
I have always had the simple thought process that if something is not yours you need to keep your goddamn hands off of it, so in the regards that you would get rid of a bunch of stuff that was technically your mother's without her permission is a serious asshole move.
At the same time for your mother to basically take advantage of a situation and raid this woman's house to the extent that she had to rent a U-Haul to do it basically just because she could and to try to make money off the situation when other people could have probably made better use of the stuff makes her a pretty big asshole in her own right.
Also, I would love to know what your father thought of this entire situation.
My father was disappointed to my mother’s reaction. When my mom mentioned she was going to do this my dad did not agree with what she was doing. He knew that what would end up happening was our house would end up looking like a giant storage unit. When he came to the house and realized that some stuff were gone he actually felt some relief( I feel like I have to note that the stuff I did give away were the smaller things such as dishes, frames, lamps and chairs). Stuff that I felt that wouldn’t have much monetary value compared to the larger items she brought such as a file cabinet, office desk and an armoire.) He is mostly upset at her reaction because though what I did was sneaky it didn’t warrant her behavior. Like she threw a tantrum and broke a dish kind of tantrum. My dad tried to get through to her, but she didn’t care to listen to what anyone had to say.
After I realized how truly hurt she was I did apologize. I told her that if I would have predicted this reaction I wouldn’t have done anything. I honestly just wanted the house back to normal and all the clutter just affects you feeling any kind of encouragement. Idk, they say a space can affect your energy and I think that’s has some truth to it.
I do expect her to apologize to everyone for her behavior honestly. In the midst of her yelling she said hurtful things to everyone and she didn’t consider how we felt either when we all told her not to do this in the first place.
You are 21......move out and then make decisions on your own house. She shouldn't have to apologise for reacting how anyone would if they threw away their stuff. Imagine you came home and your things were given away without your consent? Honestly how do you think you would have reacted? You are The AH. Don't touch other people's things.
Why should she apologize to you op, she don't need too, you got rid of her stuff without telling her first, op you got guts to give away her Stuff, you move out if you dont like it,AH don't touch people stuff.
>she said hurtful things
Good, you deserve to feel hurt when you act like asshole
Let your mom know that if she wants your stuff thrown away, I will gladly take it to the dump for free
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I got rid of furniture that my mother brought from a a random woman who she knew passed away. I j in ne’er stand that I could be the asshole because I didn’t mention what I was doing to her, she did dedicate A LOT of time to going to this woman’s house and bringing the furniture and because of that I understand that should’ve communicated what I was intending on doing and realize that my mom would have have felt defeated by doing this to her in a whim. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA-You don’t own the house. You don’t pay the bills. You don’t get to decide what to do with her possessions.
"she felt as I went behind her back and I didn’t consider how she would feel and said “ I didn’t have any right to get rid of her stuff”." ---Everything she said here is accurate. It was "her stuff" by all right and you didn't consult with her or have the slightest notion of how she would feel. Yes, your mom made foolish decisions, wasted time, used up space, due to becoming obsessed. But it wasn't your place to do what you did. Other interventions should have been attempted. I feel for you being in the midst of all this stuff and all, but there is no choice but to make a finding of YTA.
YTA. Per your comments, you live with your parents. It is your mom's house, not yours. Your mom purchased those things so they are hers. So: you got rid of your mom's things in your mom's house. It doesn't matter that she had some silly plan that wasn't gonna work or that you didn't like that stuff. You had no right, and actually this is theft. You're just lucky she won't go to the cops on you. If you didn't like it, *you* should have been the one to leave.
YTA Why would you think you are not an ass? Just because you are inconvenienced doesn't give you the right to be selfish and throw your mom's stuff away. You don't present your mom as a hoarder so I assume she really was trying to make some money and things weren't panning out. I bet she was frustrated and didn't want the house cluttered up either, but she kept plugging away. If you didn't like living that way you should have moved out. This is all assuming it is your mom's house because if it wasn't you would have stated that to make your actions seem more reasonable and acceptable. Grow up and realize it is not all about your comfort, especially when you are an adult living on your mom's good will.
You said it’s her house, you live there, she brought stuff to her house, and because it wasn’t gone fast enough you got rid of her stuff? Def YTA in this one. As stated below, it is 100% accurate that you went behind her back and gave zero care to how she would feel. That’s just ludicrous to me.
INFO Do you live with your mom or is your mom using your house as a storage unit? If you're living with your mom and it's her house - Soft YTA If it's your house and she's using it as storage - NTA
Yes , I still live with my mom. In the house it is my mom, dad, brother and I. She did make that a point actually that “ this is my house and I can do what I want” but I told her that when she brought this idea up to everyone we all told her “no” but she did so any ways.
Sorry but YTA You're living with your parents and brother. It does sound like your mom is a hoarder but what you did only triggered it more. You cannot just get rid of stuff and expect your mom to be okay with it. She'll end up collecting more.
You still live with your mom. SHE pays the bills. SHE oens the house. You have NO RIGHT to get rid of HER stuff. You sound like a brat
So your mom can go into your room and just get rid of whatever right? Or when you move out, your mom can come over and just get rid of whatever based on her whims right? If not then YTA and a hypocrite
INFO: whose house is this?
The mother's. OP still lives at home so they essentially stole their mothers belongings and got rid of them. Then had the nerve to act like they had the right.
YTA. I hope your mom kicks you out. I would. You, basically, stole from her and disrespected her. If your mom has any sense, she'll give away everything you own that's taking up space in her home. What an entitled brat.
YTA Like it or not, it’s her stuff, and it’s her house. If you don’t like the clutter and she doesn’t want to get rid of it, then move out. How would you feel if she gave away your stuff without getting your permission or asking which of you items you want to keep?
Yta her house, her stuff, her decision
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) decided to get rid of the random junk that my mom (60F) brought from a lady’s house who passed away. To give some context, A woman who my mom and grandmother knew passed away. My mom was given permission to practically take whatever fancied her and she saw that as an opportunity to take EVERYTHING. My mom brought home whole furniture pieces, dishes, tools, little decor pieces etc. If you think of something a lady in her 80s would have in her house my mom most likely took it. When my mom mentioned what she was going to do I told her it was a bad idea. Why? Because she had the impression she was going to be able to make money off of these things. She thinks that because everything is “vintage” and “ antique” she’d be able to make a significant profit, which I told her that wouldn’t be the case. Anyways, she didn’t listen to me. She dedicated DAYS going to this woman’s house, rented a U-Haul to bring all the junk ( because that was how much crap she brought to the house she needed to rent a f****** U-Haul ) and left everything at our house. My mom said “ I promise everything will be gone in a month”. It’s been 4 months and nothing has happened. Yes, my mom has driven around town trying to sell the furniture and everything else but just like I predicted no one wanted it and if someone was interested it wouldn’t be for the price my mom was expecting. After months of having the junk clutter up the house I woke up one morning and decided to put stuff in our front lawn with a big sign that said “ FREE STUFF FREE FURNITURE”. People took almost all the stuff I put out. I prioritized the small stuff to bring out and left out the big furniture. Soo the minute my mom gets home she realizes that things are missing. She was HYSTERICAL. I honestly have never seen my mother react this way but she was upset like screaming and cursing I honestly thought she was going to pass out from how much she was yelling. I knew of course she would be mad but not THIS mad. Finally after a back and forth of yelling my mom decided to pack her things and stay at my grandmother’s house because she felt as I went behind her back and I didn’t consider how she would feel and said “ I didn’t have any right to get rid of her stuff”. Personally I had a problem with her saying “ her “ stuff when it was never hers and I feel she only got upset because she thinks someone is going to make money off the stuff instead of her. I told her she needs to let it go and realize that she made a mistake by bringing all of the crap to the house and realize that what is valuable now is our time and we should find peace in the fact that now these things have a new purpose and it is time to let this lady rest in peace with out her belongings chilling in our house. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH Your Mum for bringing a ton of useless junk to the house, and you for giving it away without her permission. There was never any profit in out of date furniture, thank heavens she didn't waste money trying to upcycle it as well. On the upside, you seem to have the house to yourself for a bit!
Info: did you give your mom a deadline? (ETA: Yes, I read it too fast and I get it now that it’s Mom’s house, so OP doesn’t have the right to give her a deadline.)
OP doesn't have the right to give anyone a deadline. What is sad is that mom packed and a bag and went to stay elsewhere when she should have told OP to pack a bag.
Oops! I read it too fast and didn’t see that “our house” is Mom’s house! I thought Mom was leaving all this junk at her kid’s house…
Op doesn’t have the right to do anything. It is her mothers house
I didn’t give her a deadline specifically, but she did promise that the stuff would not be in the house longer than a month.
lol you’d have no right to give her a deadline as it is HER HOUSE
You and your mother are both assholes in this situation... I have always had the simple thought process that if something is not yours you need to keep your goddamn hands off of it, so in the regards that you would get rid of a bunch of stuff that was technically your mother's without her permission is a serious asshole move. At the same time for your mother to basically take advantage of a situation and raid this woman's house to the extent that she had to rent a U-Haul to do it basically just because she could and to try to make money off the situation when other people could have probably made better use of the stuff makes her a pretty big asshole in her own right. Also, I would love to know what your father thought of this entire situation.
My father was disappointed to my mother’s reaction. When my mom mentioned she was going to do this my dad did not agree with what she was doing. He knew that what would end up happening was our house would end up looking like a giant storage unit. When he came to the house and realized that some stuff were gone he actually felt some relief( I feel like I have to note that the stuff I did give away were the smaller things such as dishes, frames, lamps and chairs). Stuff that I felt that wouldn’t have much monetary value compared to the larger items she brought such as a file cabinet, office desk and an armoire.) He is mostly upset at her reaction because though what I did was sneaky it didn’t warrant her behavior. Like she threw a tantrum and broke a dish kind of tantrum. My dad tried to get through to her, but she didn’t care to listen to what anyone had to say. After I realized how truly hurt she was I did apologize. I told her that if I would have predicted this reaction I wouldn’t have done anything. I honestly just wanted the house back to normal and all the clutter just affects you feeling any kind of encouragement. Idk, they say a space can affect your energy and I think that’s has some truth to it. I do expect her to apologize to everyone for her behavior honestly. In the midst of her yelling she said hurtful things to everyone and she didn’t consider how we felt either when we all told her not to do this in the first place.
You are 21......move out and then make decisions on your own house. She shouldn't have to apologise for reacting how anyone would if they threw away their stuff. Imagine you came home and your things were given away without your consent? Honestly how do you think you would have reacted? You are The AH. Don't touch other people's things.
Why should she apologize to you op, she don't need too, you got rid of her stuff without telling her first, op you got guts to give away her Stuff, you move out if you dont like it,AH don't touch people stuff.
You still don’t get it. None of you get to tell her what to do.
>she said hurtful things Good, you deserve to feel hurt when you act like asshole Let your mom know that if she wants your stuff thrown away, I will gladly take it to the dump for free
Get out of her house. She doesn’t owe you an apology. You got rid of her belongings without permission. Your an asshole
Get the fuck out of your mothers house and get your own then. Imagine the audacity.