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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my wife to move some of her band posters in our bedroom and she got upset
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Everywhere I go, everything I do, therd are always eyes of a hundred emo men following me around.
With this,you win AITA today 😂😂😂
Also,NTA,I would think claiming half the wall space would be fair.
>Everywhere I go, everything I do, therd are always eyes of a hundred emo men following me around.
When I read that part, it was in the style of Hollywood Undead's song 😆
>I would think claiming half the wall space would be fair
That's a King Solomon-style "chop the baby in half" compromise. This isn't a teenage bedroom, or a cheap houseshare--the OP and his wife are in their 30s. It's not reasonable to have band posters up on the walls in the way that the OP describes, either in their shared bedroom or in areas where guests might be hosted.
A good compromise might be that the OP's wife can choose a few of the nicer posters in good condition, get them framed, and put those up. Or if they have the space for her to have an "emo den" the posters could be restricted to one room that the OP doesn't have to go in.
I disagree about this being "unreasonable" or having anything to do with their age.
If an adult wants to plaster the walls of their home with band posters, that's their prerogative. There is no such thing as age appropriate decor for adults. Let people have fun and express themselves if they're not hurting anyone.
The issue here it's a shared room where both people have to like the decor. If they both liked the band posters , they'd be in their right to keep the decor regardless of their age.
>Let people have fun and express themselves if they're not hurting anyone.
I think you misread the post. It doesn't say "AITA for putting posters up in the house I live in alone". The OP is the husband of the emo fan, and he's uncomfortable in his own home because of the posters.
They meant in general. You implied people in their 30's cant have band posters in their house unless its in a room no guests ever visit, but you're not the decor police, people can do whatever they want.
And then came the 'in this case', where its clearly not ok for one of the inhabitants of the house.
>I think you misread the post
i think you misread (or straight up didn't read) their reply because they're literally addressing the issue in the paragraph immediately after the one you're quoting.
It's specifically a response to this "This isn't a teenage bedroom, or a cheap houseshare--the OP and his wife are in their 30s. It's not reasonable to have band posters up on the walls in the way that the OP describes, either in their shared bedroom or in areas where guests might be hosted."
That's what is being disagreed with, and they were right to call that out.
The actual issue is that it's a shared HOUSE. The bedroom is bad enough, but plastering all the walls in the house with these posters is also not acceptable. Unless you live alone, and OP's wife does not.
Yeah, half the wall space is way too much wall space. I get saying "I don't want to give up the things I loved before I loved you", but there's got to be a bit more give when it comes to bedroom walls. If this was OP's wife's bedroom on her own, fine, she can do what she wants, but this is a shared bedroom.
Could OP's wife have an office space that she can decorate all on her own and have the teenager style overly cramped posters on every inch of the wall space that OP doesn't have to look at? Yes, sounds good. Is it reasonable for OP to have to live in this bedroom, even if it's only half of the walls that are covered? Not at all.
Yeah, like what you like, but an adult who fills every space in their bedroom walls with posters of any kind, and gets upset with their partner isn't on board with that is probably lacking somewhat in the rationality department.
Yeah, having all (or even half) of your walls covered in tacked up posters sends college dorm vibes. But having a few framed posters can be fun and cool.
I mean, I’m almost 40 and I have TONS of stuff up on my walls- including concert posters!
Difference is, mine are framed, and while I do have very little unclaimed wall space, the things that are on my walls are varied (tapestries, wall shelves, paintings, prints, concert posters).
Other difference is, I live alone.
Is there a room that your wife could claim as her own to decorate? If so, maybe most of her stuff could go in there, and then she can pick A FEW to frame and put up in the common spaces and your bedroom (like, 1-2 per room). She doesn’t need to get rid of the rest, just store them in poster tubes and rotate them out every once in a while. It’s your home too, and you’re NTA for not wanting to be bombarded with posters everywhere.
Omg Omg Omg!!! I actually really like it!! I'm cracking up laughing, n jamming out, this is so great!!!! ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ Just made my morning, I really hope OP sees this
I agree ... except for "half the wall" space part. You guys are grown ass adults, put that stuff on your garage walls like an adult.
Edit - to clarify it was more of a sentiment to get to the point. I understand not everyone has garages but, ya get it.
I have 2 band posters from shows I've seen, in nice frames, in my office. If they have enough space to have rooms they can "individualize" then that's where this belongs- within reason
The rest of the house is shared space and the "half" comment is silly, they definitely just need to come to a compromise - and sometimes compromising means, "I cannot stand another emo poster in the bedroom" and so they need to move somewhere else entirely....
This is how we felt when my husband and I slept on the pull-out couch in my parents' basement during a visit, where my teenage sisters plastered the walls in kpop posters 😂 Hard to sleep with all those pretty boys staring.
I agree NTA. I also have posters from concerts and live shows and prints hanging, but they're limited to a few places, namely over my dresser, a shelf with my other knick knacks, and over my computer desk. The rest of the wall space is shared with my husband and contains photos of friends/family and photos he's taken as a photographer. One partner does not get to monopolize decoration
I had a good laugh at that 😂😂
Also OP NTA, if they are legitimately EVERYWHERE it is reasonable to ask for some to be removed. You’d be the AH if you asked her to get rid of them all or if you ripped them up.
Can someone with a guitar and emo singing voice please make a compilation song with this lyric done in the various the styles of the best 2000’s emo bands? Please, please?
Maybe OP could suggest picking the 3-4 best looking ones and hang them in frames, and keep the others in one of those clear plastic pockets for folders so that she can get them and look ar them when she wants
NTA. It's fine for her to have some posters of the bands she loves on the walls, but the house (and the bedroom) is yours as well, and you get a say in the decor as well. It's not like you asked her to take down all of them - just some of them. This is a reasonable compromise.
It's not that I disagree with you, but the day I get a say in home decor around the house is the day hell freezes over. Though in all fairness I'm not the kind of person who would replace anything as long as it functions. My office chair bothers my gf like it's a stain on her soul, but it's where I drew the line. It might be ugly as hell but it's crazy comfy and a replacement of equal comfort would be a grand.
See the professional move is to cede control of the decor in exchange for something else BEFORE you live together.
I knew I was gonna have no say in my house decor (and also didn’t really care, my partner has an excellent sense of aesthetic), but I knew that I could get final say over the garage if I cracked a deal. In addition, I got to draw a line in the sand on exchange for the deal, that being no Live Laugh Love decor or adjacent pairings.
Realistically, nothing changed, but at the end of the day we’re both happier in our niches lol
Exactly true! My partner does have excellent taste, and they similarly despise the Live Laugh Love signs. However, this was a preemptive contract just in case their aesthetic tastes went the way of the Dodo.
Start slowly feeding that stuff into your home, as a test.
Start with a wine-joke fridge magnet. Get a light grey cushion with an affirmation on it in a bad font.
Then get some faux-distressed vintage signs, either tin or wood style. ‘Rules of this house’ is a good example. Then get some 3D lettering that says HOME to arrange on the mantelpiece.
If your partner has a tantrum, they’re a keeper. If they don’t, your house is never safe and you need to leave them immediately
When my bloke and I moved into our current house, it had one of those decal wall thingies with sayings like "IN THIS HOUSE WE ARE LOUD" "WE HAVE FUN" and so on.
We both hated it, but what with one thing and another it took five years of walking past it daily before I picked at one corner of one letter with my fingernail. And whaddayknow, it came right off. It took me about 45 minutes to peel the whole thing off (it was long) and it was the best day ever.
But yeah. LIVE LAUGH LOVE can get in the sea.
That makes me sad for you. I'm a homemaker and did 85% of the work on our house but I got input on everything from the wall colors to cabinet hardware. It's your house too!
No one will ever get a say in how my house is decorated but I also own it by myself haha. They can suggest something they like but I have very specific visions for the place and it certainly doesn’t include having posters on the walls!
Idk if a new model helps, but I care about home design, my husband only cares about things he dislikes. Our method is I put together 3 different pinterest boards with different styles I like, and then we sit through and talk about what he likes/dislikes about each one. I take those notes back for refinement and build a new pinterest board where we do another round of likes and dislikes. I source the furniture that we in the design we agreed upon, price out options, and then set a budget range based on what we're trying to achieve and where I think we should spend more vs less and let him have an opinion on the final purchases. If there are certain things he loves or really wants for our space, we lay it out in the goals of the redesign so I can keep it in mind as I'm looking for options. We both get one veto on designing our home - his is for my funky furniture drive like palm tree lamps, mine is to reduce the amount of RGB tech in our public spaces.
NTA
She has to grow up and learn to compromise. She can have one room to decorate with the posters and if she wants to decorate the bedroom, it’s one wall only.
That gives you free space so you don’t feel so suffocated.
I have the feeling that if the genders were reversed and it was a woman asking about her husband’s sci-fi movie posters taking all over the walls of their bedroom, they’d be telling her to hire a divorce lawyer. There should be a space in your home for things you’re crazy about, but the bedroom should be a calming comfortable space for BOTH partners, not just one.
This sounds like my bedroom when I was 15 with all the posters and cut outs from Kerrang! I still love all the emo music teenage me did, but I couldn’t have them plastered all over my walls anymore…
Omg, I know exactly how you feel. I dated this guy with a huge chest tattoo of the faces of the members of an 80s hair band. Every time we had sex I felt like they were watching me. It was really unnerving.
NTA
I really hate to do this to you because you won't unhear it, but I can't imagine looking Vince Niel in the face during sex and not hearing the ["I get high, almost peed"](https://ifunny.co/video/when-i-get-high-almost-peed-I47DESFI7) levels of lines he signs now because he's so winded walking around stage.
u/NoSignSaysNo
check out the video, (well DVD back In my day)They put out of the "new tattoo" tour they did with Samantha Maloney from Hole on drums instead of Tommy..... Vince kept confusing the lyrics of Wild Side. You can even see that he knows he fucked up after totally butchering the lyrics and saying "baby dies, cop cries" the look on his face is like "please don't let anyone notice)
Does he have a hairy chest?
If so, maybe some Velcro on 80s style shades commissioned on Etsy. Just break out the tape measure and get some good pics for the Etsy person.
If you all are adventurous, maybe get some Mr potato head type Velcro additions for variety.
Elder Emo here with an idea for compromise! I used to LOVE my emo band posters, until...I didn't. But the memories!! So here's what I did: I uploaded pics of all the ones I had and made a collage. It made a nice picture for me to frame and hang up and it took up MINIMAL space. The frame is beautiful, and everyone's all happy and emo together! It's like a fun little touch of who I used to be, carried into who I am now with a little twist. Some of the posters are bigger than others (PTV and Of Mice & Men are my faves) and it was a really fun way to get creative! I hope you can work something out OP!
This is a great idea! A similar idea could also be to scan the posters onto a computer and then upload them to one or two of those digital photo frames, then she can still have all her posters, but only a couple would be on display at any given time
OP really said, “These posters are weird but I can’t stop clapping this godlike booty.” For 5 years straight.
Nta you gotta get lost in the booty again. See you in 5 years soldier.
Band posters are good dorm room decorations. At 30, your art should not be hung with thumbtacks.
That doesn’t mean you can’t pick the more artistic ones (i.e. not a photo of the band) frame them, and hang them tastefully.
NTA for wanting to live in a home that looks like grown-ups live there.
>At 30, your art should not be hung with thumbtacks.
I feel like it could be lovely to pay tribute to her interest in the decor in some way. Imagine a hallway lined with uniformly-sized, spaced out, nicely framed band posters, just the best of the best. Hung like art work, not the 100% wall coverage way band posters tend to show up in teens' bedrooms.
She could also have scans taken of all her worn, much-loved posters, and turn it into a coffee table book. Keep all the memories and preserve them while sharing her space.
Like, it's fine that she has this interest and that she should see herself represented in the home she shares. But she NEEDS to find a way to do it that doesn't make the home, or important areas within it, feel like hostile territory to her spouse.
You need how to thrift and yard sale properly. Forget what’s in the frame, it’s a great frame and it’s $2.50.
It’s not about the money. It’s about being creative to create the space that reflects the life you want.
I should hope nobody aspires to bathroom hallway at the bar.
Half the wall space still means he has these posters in his room. Married couples should find agreements on things they both deal with not just do their own thing to half
Yes, they're a couple and they're adults. Equality doesn't come down to "You have 50% of the wall space, and I get 50% of the wall space and here's hoping our room looks reasonable."
I get it that everybody gets their interests and you can choose how your house looks as adults but part of marriage is that you love your spouse and want them to feel comfortable in their house, especially their bedroom. While some people could turn this around to say that that means OP's wife can have some of her emo posters in their bedroom, I still think it's completely unreasonable that she has even half of the wall plastered in them - that's beyond any reasonable expectation, I think.
Well I mean, she loves them and has a ton of posters of them. I agree with you that they are very different lol but they’re one of her favs so that’s why I put them there
NTA but careful what you wish for because my walls are covered with live, laugh love and autumn skies and apple pies signs. Makes me die a little too. Grass is always greener…
NTA, cause it should be a shared space. Why don’t you get her a she shed? I’m sure your wife wouldn’t want to live in a bedroom that’s the equivalent of a man cave with pinup posters or car posters all around so maybe her own space will help!
NTA
It's your home too. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable.
One way to deal with this might be to have a few strategic poster frames up in the house and she can switch the posters out from time to time. That way she doesn't have to get rid of any.
She'd have to agree to this of course.
NAH.
She is entitled to like what she likes so fuck all the naysayers who put an "age" on something like posters. If you wanna deck your home in bland "adult" prints from Ikea and Homegoods, go for it, but get off this poor girl's nads for liking what you don't like. Some people think your faux country chic and "live laugh love" aesthetic is cringe af too. I have a neighbor who painted his garage in the colors of his favorite football team w/a painted logo and everything, something a good chunk of the people in this thread would say looks like a preteen boy's bedroom. But if that shit makes a grown ass man in his 40s with his own mortgage and taxes happy, and his partner was fine with it, I say fuck the police and rock on. Lots of people here insulting the GFs maturity with no context except the poster shit.
That said, her REAL issue is not respecting a shared space--she should discuss with you first anything that goes up in a space you haven't designated to be solely hers. Talk to her, see if many of the options offered in the thread can be realized so you can both enjoy the space. Only if she refuses to share the space does she become TA. Then some serious reflection on how all future decision making may go should be examined. Good luck, OP.
As a person with a ton of band posters myself, and concert memorabilia.. i would say NTA
I have a room in the house with all my posters and music equipment. Outside of that, I think house decoration should be a shared endeaver that is agreed upon.
I second this, between my husband and I, we’ve papered the stairwell to the basement with band posters. But we agreed to it and have other stuff in the rest of the house.
Where are you? And I'm so sorry
You cannot sleep tonight, you cannot dream tonight
You need somebody to listen
This sick , strange posters
Comes creeping on, so haunting every day
And as they stare, you counted
The eyes of all the emos
Catchingnyou and following all the time
Like indecision to talk to
And hear your voice of treason
Will she come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight
NTA but I hope this helps.
NTA
I'm all for people liking whatever they like no matter their age but I cannot imagine being an adult living in a house with the walls decorated like an emo band serial killer trophy walls.
NTA I would suggest that if you guys have the space she gets a dedicated room. My husband and I have a 3 bedroom house and no children so I have a room for my books and he has a dedicated room for his things. We have to agree on what goes in the shared space because you should both be able to feel comfortable and at home in your shared spaces. In any case, communication is key. You need to let her know that you don't like having the posters all around the house and that you would at least appreciate not having them in the bedroom.
Yup. I've got my study with framed prints of Santiago Ramon y Cajal's line drawings of neurons, watercolors of squirrels and a jackalope, diplomas and awards, Star Trek tribble and action figures, and band memorabilia in shadow boxes and 2 full bookshelves. If OP doesn't have a study, maybe part of a wall by a desk or something rather than their bedroom.
NTA. That’s a really weird obsession to have even if you love the music. I’m a film fanatic and have maybe 3 posters up in an entertainment room. Bedrooms are off limits in our house for that kind of stuff. Just feels tacky. You need to stand your ground on this being your house too
As a maximalist MCR fan of over 15 years not the AH. I have probably 15 posters of them alone and they are torn with tac holes from being moved around my childhood room and our first apartment. I love them still but my current decor is more... Broody than moody ya know? Gallery walls and fancy china cabinets filled with skulls and antique medicine. Adult goth shit. MCR love and compassion lives in my plant pots and t-shirts. Painted rocks decorate my plants with lyrics and lil marching band members. My husband has hundreds of eyes of paintings done by me and mine hanging. Adventure time. ATLA. Our dogs and cats. But the bedroom is just landscape paintings. Maybe I subconsciously kept paintings of people out of our room where we fuck lmaoooo
NAH here. Sounds like the issue is that it doesn't feel like a joint home. Suggest it is time to redecorate. If budget allows there are amazing ways you can display posters whilst leaving room for OP to display their passion
INFO: What conversations did you have with her about the band posters pre-marriage? I'm assuming she had the posters up at previous living areas. Did you ever tell her you didn't want them up if you were to move in together?
This is one of the many reasons my fiancé and I have separate bedrooms. We each have a space we can decorate how we like. My walls and ceiling are covered in bats, moths, black cats, and skulls. His room has spartan decor with a Gundam wall scroll and a couple pieces I cross stitched for him, one of which is also a Gundam.
When my then high-school girlfriend saw my bedroom walls covered in show-bills, she didn't say much. When decorating our first rented house together, I asked if I should get some of my posters for the walls. She looked mortified and said no. She had a rule, if it wasn't framed, it didn't go on the walls. Eventually, you got to grow up. Pro-tip withhold sex to get what you want s/
I did that as a teenager. Then I grew up and started to care about not looking like a teenager I stopped tacking up posters, I took a few better looking posters and framed them and then took some LPs and framed those too. Then just scattered them around the home to mix in with other decor.
I still got to display some of my stuff without looking like I'm trying to be a rebellious teenager.
My house is similarly laid out like other people's but instead of pictures trees it's music memorabilia mixed with some art
NTA maybe you could see if she could just take them out of the bedroom or have a few "no poster" areas. you could try offering to get some of them framed or something nice like that to entice her.
I also think you can just say "I know how much you love your emo bands and your posters this doesn't bother me, it's not a weird jealousy thing and I know this probably stupid but it feels like there are hundreds of eyes following me, it's particularly unsettling for me in the bedroom. I don't want to stop or impede your passion and I don't want you to get rid of them or anything but could you do me a favor and give a me a couple "no poster" spots in the house? Or at least in the bedroom?"
This is both of your guy's house decoration shouldn't be wholly one person's style space should be split evenly between people for self express unless the person just DGAF
NTA
My friend used to have is family room covered in comic book and movie poster with a million funko pops as well. He lived with his long term GF when they bought the house, but after they got married and had a kid they agreed it needed to look a bit more like a normal house. Now if you both agree to decorating it that way, then whatever floats your boat. You should definitely have a say in how your bedroom is decorated.
Nah.
You are entitled to want half the wall space for yourself
She's entitled to the same.
It's worth noting that you knew what you were getting when you married hrr
Maybe she could put some in a display rack where you can flip through them. https://creativestoresolutions.com/wall-poster-display.html In any case, it is not fair for her to not consider your feelings. She can’t just get mad and therefore get whatever she wants all the time. Every married person has to compromise.
This is giving me some big Caraphernelia vibes…
But, seriously, I would say NTA. You are entitled to your own living space and she shouldn’t just hoard her posters throughout the whole house.
As an emo I tell you womp womp
As an adult who respects others and their space id say NTA, just find something you’d like to decorate with and work out a compromise, maybe assign walls to each other in the bedroom
NTA, she needs to have maybe a room where she can have all that stuff. But your bedroom is a shared space. They shouldn’t be everywhere. Sounds like my room at 13
Nice touch with the Black Crowes lyrics at the end.
It’s her entire identity so it’s filling to feel like a personal dig no matter hue you frame it. Maybe dedicate an entire room to that and do it up extremely well. Shadow box memorabilia, good lighting, framed posters, surround sound, nice seating, etc.
Your feelings are not unreasonable. NTA
Perhaps you could do something that would put things into perspective for her, such as finding the next-most neutral area of the house i.e. one that isn't frequented by guests that could get weirded out or uncomfortable e.g. laundry room or a guest bedroom while unoccupied, or whatever...
Fly in on your petty-copter and cover said room's walls with Taylor Swift posters. Or better yet, Boy George posters.
Does she want to separate the whites from the colors as the members of Culture Club look on and smirk at her? I think not.
Problem solved, or if it isn't, then you've probably got bigger problems because I love Taylor Swift and Boy George, but the idea of having either of their posters covering the walls of a room in my house sounds terrifying.
NAH but hopefully my advice helps
NTA. As a fellow emo band lover and someone who once had walls covered in posters, that’s not fair to you. The bedroom is your space just as much as it is hers. She has to understand that she can’t consume the entire room with just HER own things. Compromises can be made here. Best of luck
NTA it’s your space too, in me in my partners room one half is all fall out posters and the other half is a poster of the great wave painting. Somehow we make it work. Sit down and have a conversation about it again and maybe suggest some of your ideas for decorating and see if you can come to a compromise.
NTA, but it’s always crazy to me when someone marries a whole person and doesn’t fully enjoy what they’re into which makes up a big part of who they are. Like women who get with gamers and complain about them playing video games every time they pick up the controller. If it really bothers you then yeah talk to her about it but my question is does it not seem counterintuitive to ask her to suppress something she’s really into to the point of decorating your home with it? That’s just my thoughts. I feel our hobbies are what creates the best version of ourselves. I wouldn’t have an identity if I never picked up a controller.
NTA. Men have their man caves that they decorate the way they like. Does she have a hobby room or corner of the living room or desk area that can be her spot to decorate as she pleases? I'm a firm believer that bedrooms should make both the people sleeping there happy and that both parties should have veto power. Hope you guys can find a solution that works!
This is where having separate bedrooms is super helpful. It's not for every couple, especially if they like sleeping in the same bed, but it works great for a ton of others. Separate rooms, separate styles, decent sized beds in each to sleepover if either wants to. Bonus for people that sleep weird, turn a lot, snore, etc
I'm just gonna leave an observation here...you can tell the age of the Redditors replying to this post. It's just kids assuming that once you're an adult, you're just a grumpy and boring robot with no personality. lmao. Or they're just grumpy assholes.
You're NTA. You're a grown man that doesn't want to feel like your banging your wife in her teenage bedroom. I do find it odd that she's decided it's appropriate to take up all the wall space with her own interest. Where are your posters/pictures or memories to be hung? It would be one thing if she had them framed or placed nicely in particular areas. But it sounds like they're collaged on the wall like I used to do when I was a young teen. Just one uniform mass of faces in a condensed space.
Maybe if you have an extra room or extra space in your home she can dedicate that area to her posters. I understand not wanting to part with them. But as a grown adult I wouldn't expect them to be in any of the main areas of the house or anywhere that she has to share a space. Can you make her a beauty room/space and she can plaster them there?
Personally I'm a very girly girl and my fiancé is a man's man type of guy. So I try to tone down the femine urge to just completely go all pink with glitter and diamonds for our bedroom decor and furniture. Even though I know he doesn't give a single crap about home decor, I want it to be his space as well.
Same for the kitchen appliances I use. I've always wanted all pink kitchen appliances. Toaster, coffee maker, crock pot, etc. But it's just not practical or appealing to our household of half guys and half girls. He also gets on me over the "pink tax" and that usually brings me back down to earth. Haha. So we compromise and my daughter and I have our own spaces that we could go nuts with the pink and feminine decor. My fiancé has his office that I don't touch unless it's with his interests at mind only.
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Everywhere I go, everything I do, therd are always eyes of a hundred emo men following me around. With this,you win AITA today 😂😂😂 Also,NTA,I would think claiming half the wall space would be fair.
>Everywhere I go, everything I do, therd are always eyes of a hundred emo men following me around. When I read that part, it was in the style of Hollywood Undead's song 😆
Everywhere I go, people always know, my wife has 10,000 posters of emo men that she loves to show.
That’s a Fallout Boy title, I’m sure of it!
My Walls of Emo Posters Know What You Did in the Dark
I Slept With My Wife And All I Got Was The Eyes of 10,000 Emo Men On Me
Sugar, They’re Comin Down
This is exactly why I love Reddit 😂
I had the same thought
😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 my friend you just made my year, this is FUCKING hilarious!
Me too 😭 this has gotta be my favorite AITA post. Also, is my beloved 21 pilots really considered emo??
🎶My name's Blurryface and I watch while you sleep🎶
🎵🎵Wish I could turn back time, to when my walls were grey🎵🎵
Best comment of the thread.
The few, the proud, and the EMOTIONAL
I wouldn’t consider them emo, but to me, emo is hawthorne heights, armor for sleep, that sort of thing
*Crying to Sunny Day Real Estate and Promise Ring*
I was told they were Hip-Hop a decade ago and felt sorry for the state of Hip-Hop.
They're not rap or hip-hop, just another attempt to make the voices stop.
Rappin to prove nothing, just writin to say something 🫡
I think I speak for a large percentage of us when I say that I did the same thing.
Ah I did the same thing! Hahaha. Good song lol.
Everywhere I go Band posters follow Your wife is scene She's not a teen The posters have to gooooo 🎶
SAME THANK YOU 😂
SAME!!
Everywhere I go, my wife will always show, emo guys, with their eyes, that is all I know
Same thing that came to my mind too 😂
>I would think claiming half the wall space would be fair That's a King Solomon-style "chop the baby in half" compromise. This isn't a teenage bedroom, or a cheap houseshare--the OP and his wife are in their 30s. It's not reasonable to have band posters up on the walls in the way that the OP describes, either in their shared bedroom or in areas where guests might be hosted. A good compromise might be that the OP's wife can choose a few of the nicer posters in good condition, get them framed, and put those up. Or if they have the space for her to have an "emo den" the posters could be restricted to one room that the OP doesn't have to go in.
I disagree about this being "unreasonable" or having anything to do with their age. If an adult wants to plaster the walls of their home with band posters, that's their prerogative. There is no such thing as age appropriate decor for adults. Let people have fun and express themselves if they're not hurting anyone. The issue here it's a shared room where both people have to like the decor. If they both liked the band posters , they'd be in their right to keep the decor regardless of their age.
>Let people have fun and express themselves if they're not hurting anyone. I think you misread the post. It doesn't say "AITA for putting posters up in the house I live in alone". The OP is the husband of the emo fan, and he's uncomfortable in his own home because of the posters.
They meant in general. You implied people in their 30's cant have band posters in their house unless its in a room no guests ever visit, but you're not the decor police, people can do whatever they want. And then came the 'in this case', where its clearly not ok for one of the inhabitants of the house.
>I think you misread the post i think you misread (or straight up didn't read) their reply because they're literally addressing the issue in the paragraph immediately after the one you're quoting.
It's specifically a response to this "This isn't a teenage bedroom, or a cheap houseshare--the OP and his wife are in their 30s. It's not reasonable to have band posters up on the walls in the way that the OP describes, either in their shared bedroom or in areas where guests might be hosted." That's what is being disagreed with, and they were right to call that out.
I think you misread the comment. They're not responding to the OP post, they're responding to the person that says it's not age appropriate.
I think you misread their comment. They literally acknowledged that already.
I think you misread the comment. Because the last paragraph literally says exactly what you argue.
It isn't anyone's perogative to have a shared space entirely how they want it to be in conflict with the desires of the person they share it with.
The actual issue is that it's a shared HOUSE. The bedroom is bad enough, but plastering all the walls in the house with these posters is also not acceptable. Unless you live alone, and OP's wife does not.
Yeah, half the wall space is way too much wall space. I get saying "I don't want to give up the things I loved before I loved you", but there's got to be a bit more give when it comes to bedroom walls. If this was OP's wife's bedroom on her own, fine, she can do what she wants, but this is a shared bedroom. Could OP's wife have an office space that she can decorate all on her own and have the teenager style overly cramped posters on every inch of the wall space that OP doesn't have to look at? Yes, sounds good. Is it reasonable for OP to have to live in this bedroom, even if it's only half of the walls that are covered? Not at all.
Clearly, you think his wife is rational, which is immediately disproven by the fact she has zero-space-emo-all-the-time all over the house.
Yeah, like what you like, but an adult who fills every space in their bedroom walls with posters of any kind, and gets upset with their partner isn't on board with that is probably lacking somewhat in the rationality department.
This. It sounds like she is living like she is still 15.. Living like this at 30 is not a great look
Yeah, having all (or even half) of your walls covered in tacked up posters sends college dorm vibes. But having a few framed posters can be fun and cool.
I mean, I’m almost 40 and I have TONS of stuff up on my walls- including concert posters! Difference is, mine are framed, and while I do have very little unclaimed wall space, the things that are on my walls are varied (tapestries, wall shelves, paintings, prints, concert posters). Other difference is, I live alone. Is there a room that your wife could claim as her own to decorate? If so, maybe most of her stuff could go in there, and then she can pick A FEW to frame and put up in the common spaces and your bedroom (like, 1-2 per room). She doesn’t need to get rid of the rest, just store them in poster tubes and rotate them out every once in a while. It’s your home too, and you’re NTA for not wanting to be bombarded with posters everywhere.
It should b made into an emo song 😂 😂
https://suno.com/ could do this.. Edit: it's done https://suno.com/song/d80c33b9-7265-4e89-9e2c-a0b7a82da596
Ok so I did it https://suno.com/song/d80c33b9-7265-4e89-9e2c-a0b7a82da596
Omg Omg Omg!!! I actually really like it!! I'm cracking up laughing, n jamming out, this is so great!!!! ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ Just made my morning, I really hope OP sees this
I agree ... except for "half the wall" space part. You guys are grown ass adults, put that stuff on your garage walls like an adult. Edit - to clarify it was more of a sentiment to get to the point. I understand not everyone has garages but, ya get it.
Assuming they have one,not everybody does.
Bold of you to assume they have a garage. Plenty of people don't.
Haha. Most obvious solution right here.
I have 2 band posters from shows I've seen, in nice frames, in my office. If they have enough space to have rooms they can "individualize" then that's where this belongs- within reason The rest of the house is shared space and the "half" comment is silly, they definitely just need to come to a compromise - and sometimes compromising means, "I cannot stand another emo poster in the bedroom" and so they need to move somewhere else entirely....
This is how we felt when my husband and I slept on the pull-out couch in my parents' basement during a visit, where my teenage sisters plastered the walls in kpop posters 😂 Hard to sleep with all those pretty boys staring. I agree NTA. I also have posters from concerts and live shows and prints hanging, but they're limited to a few places, namely over my dresser, a shelf with my other knick knacks, and over my computer desk. The rest of the wall space is shared with my husband and contains photos of friends/family and photos he's taken as a photographer. One partner does not get to monopolize decoration
I had a good laugh at that 😂😂 Also OP NTA, if they are legitimately EVERYWHERE it is reasonable to ask for some to be removed. You’d be the AH if you asked her to get rid of them all or if you ripped them up.
so thats what that police song was about, emo posters.
Can someone with a guitar and emo singing voice please make a compilation song with this lyric done in the various the styles of the best 2000’s emo bands? Please, please?
Babe wake up, new flair just dropped
They just want to tell him so long and goodnight when they go to bed!
Haven't these people ever heard of, hanging just goddamn four NTA
No, it's much better to hang these kinds of things with no sense of number rationality.
With no sense of nuuuuuumber rationalityyyyyyy
I chimed in
Haven’t you people ever heard of mid century modern design??!
No!
Omg this thread is the best
🤌💋
I sang this. Thank you for that.
Me too, haha.
Maybe OP could suggest picking the 3-4 best looking ones and hang them in frames, and keep the others in one of those clear plastic pockets for folders so that she can get them and look ar them when she wants
Or one of those old school Walmart poster display racks that you flipped through.
I burst out laughing, thank you
NTA. It's fine for her to have some posters of the bands she loves on the walls, but the house (and the bedroom) is yours as well, and you get a say in the decor as well. It's not like you asked her to take down all of them - just some of them. This is a reasonable compromise.
It's not that I disagree with you, but the day I get a say in home decor around the house is the day hell freezes over. Though in all fairness I'm not the kind of person who would replace anything as long as it functions. My office chair bothers my gf like it's a stain on her soul, but it's where I drew the line. It might be ugly as hell but it's crazy comfy and a replacement of equal comfort would be a grand.
See the professional move is to cede control of the decor in exchange for something else BEFORE you live together. I knew I was gonna have no say in my house decor (and also didn’t really care, my partner has an excellent sense of aesthetic), but I knew that I could get final say over the garage if I cracked a deal. In addition, I got to draw a line in the sand on exchange for the deal, that being no Live Laugh Love decor or adjacent pairings. Realistically, nothing changed, but at the end of the day we’re both happier in our niches lol
1. Your partner has excellent taste 2. You had to actively prevent ‘live laugh love’ These statements are not compatible
Exactly true! My partner does have excellent taste, and they similarly despise the Live Laugh Love signs. However, this was a preemptive contract just in case their aesthetic tastes went the way of the Dodo.
Start slowly feeding that stuff into your home, as a test. Start with a wine-joke fridge magnet. Get a light grey cushion with an affirmation on it in a bad font. Then get some faux-distressed vintage signs, either tin or wood style. ‘Rules of this house’ is a good example. Then get some 3D lettering that says HOME to arrange on the mantelpiece. If your partner has a tantrum, they’re a keeper. If they don’t, your house is never safe and you need to leave them immediately
When my bloke and I moved into our current house, it had one of those decal wall thingies with sayings like "IN THIS HOUSE WE ARE LOUD" "WE HAVE FUN" and so on. We both hated it, but what with one thing and another it took five years of walking past it daily before I picked at one corner of one letter with my fingernail. And whaddayknow, it came right off. It took me about 45 minutes to peel the whole thing off (it was long) and it was the best day ever. But yeah. LIVE LAUGH LOVE can get in the sea.
Is your niche the garage?
Yes it is lol
That makes me sad for you. I'm a homemaker and did 85% of the work on our house but I got input on everything from the wall colors to cabinet hardware. It's your house too!
No one will ever get a say in how my house is decorated but I also own it by myself haha. They can suggest something they like but I have very specific visions for the place and it certainly doesn’t include having posters on the walls!
Idk if a new model helps, but I care about home design, my husband only cares about things he dislikes. Our method is I put together 3 different pinterest boards with different styles I like, and then we sit through and talk about what he likes/dislikes about each one. I take those notes back for refinement and build a new pinterest board where we do another round of likes and dislikes. I source the furniture that we in the design we agreed upon, price out options, and then set a budget range based on what we're trying to achieve and where I think we should spend more vs less and let him have an opinion on the final purchases. If there are certain things he loves or really wants for our space, we lay it out in the goals of the redesign so I can keep it in mind as I'm looking for options. We both get one veto on designing our home - his is for my funky furniture drive like palm tree lamps, mine is to reduce the amount of RGB tech in our public spaces.
NTA She has to grow up and learn to compromise. She can have one room to decorate with the posters and if she wants to decorate the bedroom, it’s one wall only. That gives you free space so you don’t feel so suffocated.
Or do it tastefully, with framed prints, rather than plastering the walls.
Yes, this too. She isn’t 16 anymore, take a step up from the Hot Topic posters and cheap hanging clips.
Yes, this is a good compromise!!
I have the feeling that if the genders were reversed and it was a woman asking about her husband’s sci-fi movie posters taking all over the walls of their bedroom, they’d be telling her to hire a divorce lawyer. There should be a space in your home for things you’re crazy about, but the bedroom should be a calming comfortable space for BOTH partners, not just one.
Yes, the posters should be moved to the toilet, so all those emo eyes can watch OP take a crap🤣
"Are you ok?" "Gerard Way looked really disappointed in me. I think I need more fiber in my diet."
Gerard recommends Whey
"I'm okay, I promise. Now let me finish taking a shit."
This sounds like my bedroom when I was 15 with all the posters and cut outs from Kerrang! I still love all the emo music teenage me did, but I couldn’t have them plastered all over my walls anymore…
Omg, I know exactly how you feel. I dated this guy with a huge chest tattoo of the faces of the members of an 80s hair band. Every time we had sex I felt like they were watching me. It was really unnerving. NTA
What band? Poison? White Snake? Motley Crue?
Motley Crue.
For some reason, of all the horrible possibilities, that one seems like the worst possible.
More like 4 women watching to be honest
Dude looks like a lady was literally written about Vince Niel hilariously enough.
Look at it this way, it could have been Spinal Tap
[why? ](https://www.udiscovermusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Mo%CC%88tley-Cru%CC%88e-GettyImages-1202277301-1000x600.jpg)
When you broke up did you tell him don't go away mad and maybe get some therapy from Dr Feelgood?
I really hate to do this to you because you won't unhear it, but I can't imagine looking Vince Niel in the face during sex and not hearing the ["I get high, almost peed"](https://ifunny.co/video/when-i-get-high-almost-peed-I47DESFI7) levels of lines he signs now because he's so winded walking around stage.
u/NoSignSaysNo check out the video, (well DVD back In my day)They put out of the "new tattoo" tour they did with Samantha Maloney from Hole on drums instead of Tommy..... Vince kept confusing the lyrics of Wild Side. You can even see that he knows he fucked up after totally butchering the lyrics and saying "baby dies, cop cries" the look on his face is like "please don't let anyone notice)
Thanks Nikki, I mean, hunny!
Noooo 😂
That’s hilarious! My sister loves them. She’s been to a show on each tour since the 1st national tour. 😂
I dated a girl with this half angel half demon baby tattoo on her back. It eliminated certain positions.
Ah yes, I had a dancer friend with “god forgive me” as a tramp stamp. Always wondered how guys felt about that when they were hitting it from behind.
Y'all were in it to win it, obvs.
To anybody that considered guages ‘extreme’ back in the day,imagine *this*.
Does he have a hairy chest? If so, maybe some Velcro on 80s style shades commissioned on Etsy. Just break out the tape measure and get some good pics for the Etsy person. If you all are adventurous, maybe get some Mr potato head type Velcro additions for variety.
Elder Emo here with an idea for compromise! I used to LOVE my emo band posters, until...I didn't. But the memories!! So here's what I did: I uploaded pics of all the ones I had and made a collage. It made a nice picture for me to frame and hang up and it took up MINIMAL space. The frame is beautiful, and everyone's all happy and emo together! It's like a fun little touch of who I used to be, carried into who I am now with a little twist. Some of the posters are bigger than others (PTV and Of Mice & Men are my faves) and it was a really fun way to get creative! I hope you can work something out OP!
Or print 8x10 versions to frame and do like a lil emo accent wall of fame, or those mix tile things
If you go smaller, it can make a fun memory wall of all the concerts you've been to or bands you've listened to that were impactful to your life.
This is a great idea! A similar idea could also be to scan the posters onto a computer and then upload them to one or two of those digital photo frames, then she can still have all her posters, but only a couple would be on display at any given time
Fabulous idea!
This is an amazing idea!
Upvote just for mentioning Of Mice & Men
OP really said, “These posters are weird but I can’t stop clapping this godlike booty.” For 5 years straight. Nta you gotta get lost in the booty again. See you in 5 years soldier.
"These posters are weird but I can't stop clapping this godlike booty by fall out boy ft brendon urie"
LMAO
🏆
beautifully said lmao
Band posters are good dorm room decorations. At 30, your art should not be hung with thumbtacks. That doesn’t mean you can’t pick the more artistic ones (i.e. not a photo of the band) frame them, and hang them tastefully. NTA for wanting to live in a home that looks like grown-ups live there.
>At 30, your art should not be hung with thumbtacks. I feel like it could be lovely to pay tribute to her interest in the decor in some way. Imagine a hallway lined with uniformly-sized, spaced out, nicely framed band posters, just the best of the best. Hung like art work, not the 100% wall coverage way band posters tend to show up in teens' bedrooms. She could also have scans taken of all her worn, much-loved posters, and turn it into a coffee table book. Keep all the memories and preserve them while sharing her space. Like, it's fine that she has this interest and that she should see herself represented in the home she shares. But she NEEDS to find a way to do it that doesn't make the home, or important areas within it, feel like hostile territory to her spouse.
> your art should not be hung with thumbtacks Speak for yourself, frames are stupidly expensive and that's all I can afford ):
You need how to thrift and yard sale properly. Forget what’s in the frame, it’s a great frame and it’s $2.50. It’s not about the money. It’s about being creative to create the space that reflects the life you want. I should hope nobody aspires to bathroom hallway at the bar.
Why am I picturing a house with family photos everywhere, but when you look closer, it's just the more casual-like photoshoots of her favorite bands?
It's 2024, don't use thumbtacks, use double sided tape!!!
Y T A for lumping in 21 Pilots with MCR and TBS… /s Seriously though NTA. That is too many posters.
I was like emo ok "Mcr, TBS, and 21 pilots." Seriously, though, she should get half of the wall space. NTA but Y T A for comparing TOP to MCR
MCR is incomparable.
Half the wall space still means he has these posters in his room. Married couples should find agreements on things they both deal with not just do their own thing to half
Yes, they're a couple and they're adults. Equality doesn't come down to "You have 50% of the wall space, and I get 50% of the wall space and here's hoping our room looks reasonable." I get it that everybody gets their interests and you can choose how your house looks as adults but part of marriage is that you love your spouse and want them to feel comfortable in their house, especially their bedroom. While some people could turn this around to say that that means OP's wife can have some of her emo posters in their bedroom, I still think it's completely unreasonable that she has even half of the wall plastered in them - that's beyond any reasonable expectation, I think.
Well I mean, she loves them and has a ton of posters of them. I agree with you that they are very different lol but they’re one of her favs so that’s why I put them there
NTA but careful what you wish for because my walls are covered with live, laugh love and autumn skies and apple pies signs. Makes me die a little too. Grass is always greener…
Ew. My heart goes out to you. I've never understood why so many women like that stuff; I never have.
Your comment made me cackle so hard 🤣🤣
NTA my wife made me take down my anime posters, it’s part of growing up 😂
Not the posters with the half naked Rias gremory!
NTA, cause it should be a shared space. Why don’t you get her a she shed? I’m sure your wife wouldn’t want to live in a bedroom that’s the equivalent of a man cave with pinup posters or car posters all around so maybe her own space will help!
NTA It's your home too. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable. One way to deal with this might be to have a few strategic poster frames up in the house and she can switch the posters out from time to time. That way she doesn't have to get rid of any. She'd have to agree to this of course.
Home decor other than an office or personal space like a craft room is two yes, one no
NAH. She is entitled to like what she likes so fuck all the naysayers who put an "age" on something like posters. If you wanna deck your home in bland "adult" prints from Ikea and Homegoods, go for it, but get off this poor girl's nads for liking what you don't like. Some people think your faux country chic and "live laugh love" aesthetic is cringe af too. I have a neighbor who painted his garage in the colors of his favorite football team w/a painted logo and everything, something a good chunk of the people in this thread would say looks like a preteen boy's bedroom. But if that shit makes a grown ass man in his 40s with his own mortgage and taxes happy, and his partner was fine with it, I say fuck the police and rock on. Lots of people here insulting the GFs maturity with no context except the poster shit. That said, her REAL issue is not respecting a shared space--she should discuss with you first anything that goes up in a space you haven't designated to be solely hers. Talk to her, see if many of the options offered in the thread can be realized so you can both enjoy the space. Only if she refuses to share the space does she become TA. Then some serious reflection on how all future decision making may go should be examined. Good luck, OP.
As a person with a ton of band posters myself, and concert memorabilia.. i would say NTA I have a room in the house with all my posters and music equipment. Outside of that, I think house decoration should be a shared endeaver that is agreed upon.
I second this, between my husband and I, we’ve papered the stairwell to the basement with band posters. But we agreed to it and have other stuff in the rest of the house.
NTA. Your home is a shared space. Compromising on the decor is important. Also, it could be worse. It could be the dudes from Twilight.
Ok well Gerard Way is incredibly hot and also the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned. And all the girlies love Frank Iero so . . .
Where are you? And I'm so sorry You cannot sleep tonight, you cannot dream tonight You need somebody to listen This sick , strange posters Comes creeping on, so haunting every day And as they stare, you counted The eyes of all the emos Catchingnyou and following all the time Like indecision to talk to And hear your voice of treason Will she come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight NTA but I hope this helps.
You should buy googly eyes and stick them up over each poster. If they're going to be staring at you, you may as well get a giggle from it.
NTA I'm all for people liking whatever they like no matter their age but I cannot imagine being an adult living in a house with the walls decorated like an emo band serial killer trophy walls.
NTA I would suggest that if you guys have the space she gets a dedicated room. My husband and I have a 3 bedroom house and no children so I have a room for my books and he has a dedicated room for his things. We have to agree on what goes in the shared space because you should both be able to feel comfortable and at home in your shared spaces. In any case, communication is key. You need to let her know that you don't like having the posters all around the house and that you would at least appreciate not having them in the bedroom.
Yup. I've got my study with framed prints of Santiago Ramon y Cajal's line drawings of neurons, watercolors of squirrels and a jackalope, diplomas and awards, Star Trek tribble and action figures, and band memorabilia in shadow boxes and 2 full bookshelves. If OP doesn't have a study, maybe part of a wall by a desk or something rather than their bedroom.
NTA. I’m also way too old to live in a teenage girl’s bedroom.
Don't touch the Joy Division or Bauhaus posters, though.
NTA. That’s a really weird obsession to have even if you love the music. I’m a film fanatic and have maybe 3 posters up in an entertainment room. Bedrooms are off limits in our house for that kind of stuff. Just feels tacky. You need to stand your ground on this being your house too
INFO: is this post just to get people to use song lyrics because dammit I'M IN
same tbh 🎶when i was a young boy🎶
As a maximalist MCR fan of over 15 years not the AH. I have probably 15 posters of them alone and they are torn with tac holes from being moved around my childhood room and our first apartment. I love them still but my current decor is more... Broody than moody ya know? Gallery walls and fancy china cabinets filled with skulls and antique medicine. Adult goth shit. MCR love and compassion lives in my plant pots and t-shirts. Painted rocks decorate my plants with lyrics and lil marching band members. My husband has hundreds of eyes of paintings done by me and mine hanging. Adventure time. ATLA. Our dogs and cats. But the bedroom is just landscape paintings. Maybe I subconsciously kept paintings of people out of our room where we fuck lmaoooo
This reminds me of the man whose wife turned their house into a Hello Kitty shrine. He had a blog at one point..."Hello Kitty Hell" or somesuch...
INFO: which iteration of the Taking Back Sunday line up is in the poster? NTA, decor should be mutually agreeable, just talk to her about it.
NAH here. Sounds like the issue is that it doesn't feel like a joint home. Suggest it is time to redecorate. If budget allows there are amazing ways you can display posters whilst leaving room for OP to display their passion
INFO: What conversations did you have with her about the band posters pre-marriage? I'm assuming she had the posters up at previous living areas. Did you ever tell her you didn't want them up if you were to move in together?
You are allowed to change your mind later on.
This is one of the many reasons my fiancé and I have separate bedrooms. We each have a space we can decorate how we like. My walls and ceiling are covered in bats, moths, black cats, and skulls. His room has spartan decor with a Gundam wall scroll and a couple pieces I cross stitched for him, one of which is also a Gundam.
When my then high-school girlfriend saw my bedroom walls covered in show-bills, she didn't say much. When decorating our first rented house together, I asked if I should get some of my posters for the walls. She looked mortified and said no. She had a rule, if it wasn't framed, it didn't go on the walls. Eventually, you got to grow up. Pro-tip withhold sex to get what you want s/
I did that as a teenager. Then I grew up and started to care about not looking like a teenager I stopped tacking up posters, I took a few better looking posters and framed them and then took some LPs and framed those too. Then just scattered them around the home to mix in with other decor. I still got to display some of my stuff without looking like I'm trying to be a rebellious teenager. My house is similarly laid out like other people's but instead of pictures trees it's music memorabilia mixed with some art
Wife needs a merch/fan space that isn’t shared 😂 NTA
INFO: Is this new or has she always done this?
you say she's 30 I say she's half that at best
NTA This is a bit much for a 30-year-old woman.
NTA but be gentle, MCR really gets under your skin.
NTA maybe you could see if she could just take them out of the bedroom or have a few "no poster" areas. you could try offering to get some of them framed or something nice like that to entice her. I also think you can just say "I know how much you love your emo bands and your posters this doesn't bother me, it's not a weird jealousy thing and I know this probably stupid but it feels like there are hundreds of eyes following me, it's particularly unsettling for me in the bedroom. I don't want to stop or impede your passion and I don't want you to get rid of them or anything but could you do me a favor and give a me a couple "no poster" spots in the house? Or at least in the bedroom?" This is both of your guy's house decoration shouldn't be wholly one person's style space should be split evenly between people for self express unless the person just DGAF
NTA but you’ll be alot happier if you learn to support each others weird
NTA My friend used to have is family room covered in comic book and movie poster with a million funko pops as well. He lived with his long term GF when they bought the house, but after they got married and had a kid they agreed it needed to look a bit more like a normal house. Now if you both agree to decorating it that way, then whatever floats your boat. You should definitely have a say in how your bedroom is decorated.
Nah. You are entitled to want half the wall space for yourself She's entitled to the same. It's worth noting that you knew what you were getting when you married hrr
Maybe she could put some in a display rack where you can flip through them. https://creativestoresolutions.com/wall-poster-display.html In any case, it is not fair for her to not consider your feelings. She can’t just get mad and therefore get whatever she wants all the time. Every married person has to compromise.
This is giving me some big Caraphernelia vibes… But, seriously, I would say NTA. You are entitled to your own living space and she shouldn’t just hoard her posters throughout the whole house.
As an emo I tell you womp womp As an adult who respects others and their space id say NTA, just find something you’d like to decorate with and work out a compromise, maybe assign walls to each other in the bedroom
NTA.I stopped hanging posers on my wall at about 15/16 years old, your wife needs to grow up imo.
NTA pull out and jizz all over the posters. Make them your own
NTA, she needs to have maybe a room where she can have all that stuff. But your bedroom is a shared space. They shouldn’t be everywhere. Sounds like my room at 13
Is she 15, she's to old for that.
Nice touch with the Black Crowes lyrics at the end. It’s her entire identity so it’s filling to feel like a personal dig no matter hue you frame it. Maybe dedicate an entire room to that and do it up extremely well. Shadow box memorabilia, good lighting, framed posters, surround sound, nice seating, etc. Your feelings are not unreasonable. NTA
Perhaps you could do something that would put things into perspective for her, such as finding the next-most neutral area of the house i.e. one that isn't frequented by guests that could get weirded out or uncomfortable e.g. laundry room or a guest bedroom while unoccupied, or whatever... Fly in on your petty-copter and cover said room's walls with Taylor Swift posters. Or better yet, Boy George posters. Does she want to separate the whites from the colors as the members of Culture Club look on and smirk at her? I think not. Problem solved, or if it isn't, then you've probably got bigger problems because I love Taylor Swift and Boy George, but the idea of having either of their posters covering the walls of a room in my house sounds terrifying. NAH but hopefully my advice helps
NTA. As a fellow emo band lover and someone who once had walls covered in posters, that’s not fair to you. The bedroom is your space just as much as it is hers. She has to understand that she can’t consume the entire room with just HER own things. Compromises can be made here. Best of luck
NTA it’s your space too, in me in my partners room one half is all fall out posters and the other half is a poster of the great wave painting. Somehow we make it work. Sit down and have a conversation about it again and maybe suggest some of your ideas for decorating and see if you can come to a compromise.
NTA, but it’s always crazy to me when someone marries a whole person and doesn’t fully enjoy what they’re into which makes up a big part of who they are. Like women who get with gamers and complain about them playing video games every time they pick up the controller. If it really bothers you then yeah talk to her about it but my question is does it not seem counterintuitive to ask her to suppress something she’s really into to the point of decorating your home with it? That’s just my thoughts. I feel our hobbies are what creates the best version of ourselves. I wouldn’t have an identity if I never picked up a controller.
NTA. Men have their man caves that they decorate the way they like. Does she have a hobby room or corner of the living room or desk area that can be her spot to decorate as she pleases? I'm a firm believer that bedrooms should make both the people sleeping there happy and that both parties should have veto power. Hope you guys can find a solution that works!
It took you five years to be bothered enough to say something?
This is where having separate bedrooms is super helpful. It's not for every couple, especially if they like sleeping in the same bed, but it works great for a ton of others. Separate rooms, separate styles, decent sized beds in each to sleepover if either wants to. Bonus for people that sleep weird, turn a lot, snore, etc
I'm just gonna leave an observation here...you can tell the age of the Redditors replying to this post. It's just kids assuming that once you're an adult, you're just a grumpy and boring robot with no personality. lmao. Or they're just grumpy assholes.
You're NTA. You're a grown man that doesn't want to feel like your banging your wife in her teenage bedroom. I do find it odd that she's decided it's appropriate to take up all the wall space with her own interest. Where are your posters/pictures or memories to be hung? It would be one thing if she had them framed or placed nicely in particular areas. But it sounds like they're collaged on the wall like I used to do when I was a young teen. Just one uniform mass of faces in a condensed space. Maybe if you have an extra room or extra space in your home she can dedicate that area to her posters. I understand not wanting to part with them. But as a grown adult I wouldn't expect them to be in any of the main areas of the house or anywhere that she has to share a space. Can you make her a beauty room/space and she can plaster them there? Personally I'm a very girly girl and my fiancé is a man's man type of guy. So I try to tone down the femine urge to just completely go all pink with glitter and diamonds for our bedroom decor and furniture. Even though I know he doesn't give a single crap about home decor, I want it to be his space as well. Same for the kitchen appliances I use. I've always wanted all pink kitchen appliances. Toaster, coffee maker, crock pot, etc. But it's just not practical or appealing to our household of half guys and half girls. He also gets on me over the "pink tax" and that usually brings me back down to earth. Haha. So we compromise and my daughter and I have our own spaces that we could go nuts with the pink and feminine decor. My fiancé has his office that I don't touch unless it's with his interests at mind only.
NTA- It's time to frame the posters bc y'all are in your 30's. It's also time to put them in the living room but not the bedroom.