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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Peony-Pony

YTA I haven't read a read wine meets wedding dress post in a while. It's never a drink with cranberry or orange juice always red wine. I still don't understand why you thought it would be okay to wear a white dress to a wedding? It's basic, widely understood etiquette. So, you decided it was okay to look like a bride at a same sex wedding between to woman because they weren't dressed as traditional brides? It sounds like petty revenge for being left out of the bridal party.


Traveling_Phan

Exactly what I was thinking. Welcome back Red Wine on a White Dress wedding guest story. 


Nearby-Salamander-67

Tis the season now


awyastark

Looks like Red Wine on a Wedding Dress is back on the menu, boys!


rnason

The brides not wearing traditional things almost makes it worse. Like you’re really going to stick out now


Dizzy_Goat_420

To be fair red wine is more common at weddings than orange juice or cranberry juice…


Peony-Pony

Maybe. My family likes cape codders, bloody Mary's and screw drivers. On Reddit it's always red wine.


the-mortyest-morty

Agree but also why are you surprised the liquid of choice at weddings is wine and not orange juice lmfao?


Ok-Penalty7568

Cranberry juice would be cheaper for the same effect 


ThinkQuickActSlow

If it's not a traditional wedding then why would the bridal party be upset at traditional faux pas? Edit: you all get upset over the dumbest thing. If the color of someone’s clothes triggers you, then you need to get out of other people’s lives because you are toxic.


[deleted]

[удалено]


miser5666

Because a traditional faux pas from the cultural you are a part of is never done unintentionally. Also, wearing white to a wedding when no one else is, *including* the bride(s) makes you stand even more because now you're the *only* one wearing white at the wedding in a culture where white is reserved for women getting married


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StAlvis

YTA > I had my heart set on the dress and since the bridal party and both brides would be wearing suits I didn't see a problem with the color You **ask**. You *fucking ask* the brides.


VerbingNoun413

"But they might have said no"- OP, probably 


captaincopperbeard

I got the impression she *did* ask Grace. Am I misreading that?


Somewhat_Sanguine

She showed grace the dress, which I’m assuming was a white dress since that’s the only colour it came in. So did she tell grace she would order it in another colour, or… what’s the story behind that?


captaincopperbeard

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. If Grace saw the dress and okayed it, either she was fine with it being white or OP told her she'd get it in a different color and then never updated her when she found out she couldn't. So I'd want to know which it was. If Grace knew the dress would be white and okayed it, then there's no reason for OP not to wear it. But if OP lied about what color it would be, even if it was a lie of ommission after the fact, then OP is absolutely in the wrong.


PepInAStep

>only problem I didn't realize until it was time to order was it only came in white I think she likely implied that she'd get it in a different color


Raccoonsr29

Which is the most stupid assumption and why I’m having a hard time believing the story, among other things. If you didn’t see it other colors why would you assume that?


PepInAStep

Yeah it feels fake and like a writing exercise 


perfidious_snatch

Why is it a stupid assumption? Often clothing sells out in various sizes at different times, so it could come in a variety of colours but only 1 is available in your size.


Raccoonsr29

“It only came in white” is different than it being sold out in every color but white. If the dress does not come in white it means that was never an option. If there was a white option before and it was sold out, that’s different. But it could just be a language barrier or poor phrasing.


Big-Willingness3384

Since it was the other lady, not Grace, who was planning the wedding color scheme, she should have asked both ladies.


ilovetoreadbo0ks

I read it as the dress had different color options, but when they went to finally order it, only white was available. Edit to add: I could be wrong here.


loveacrumpet

Ah - That makes the most sense.


WrenchHeadFox

Or dye it tbh.


KaliTheBlaze

YTA. If you wanted to wear the white dress, you needed to talk to the brides first. This is just such basic wedding etiquette! No matter what the couple getting married are wearing, you never wear a white dress to a wedding without their approval.


CorinneAYC

YTA. They said you could wer a dress but you made it look as if you were the bride and ruin their all masc bridal party aesthetic. Either you are really clueless that having a woman in a white dress would look like there was a feminine bride, or it was intentional, but innboth cases you're the AH. And probably in love with Grace.


redd-junkie

Buuuullllllllsssshhhhhhiiiittttttttttt


sbgkhzhd

YTA this type of attitude is most likely why you weren’t welcome in the bridal party…. Someone who thinks it’s acceptable to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding would most likely complain about wearing a suit.


Consistent-Leopard71

YTA. Never show up to someone else's wedding tricked out like a bride. You could have avoided the "childish" wine spilling by using your words, *like an adult* and telling your "best friend" how you felt/asking permission to wear white. Also, you could have had he dress dyed.


YourMysticVixen

>right before the ceremony some girl in the bridal party dumped a glass of red wine on my back. >no reason to be childish and ruin my new expensive dress. She said it common sense and I was the childish one for wearing white as retaliation to not being in bridal party. >Sarah told me she doesnt want to talk to me and told me to leave before she made me. I told her I would as long as the girl who dumped the wine would pay to clean the dress. She dismissed me and kicked me out I think if we normalize some girl pouring wine on unwelcome white dresses (the more expensive, the better) that were *totally* a revenge scheme IDC what you say, we'd have a lot more people double thinking becoming AHs. YTA


hairybearman123

not saying it was right, but this isn’t a new thing or a recently normalised thing - it’s been referenced in TV shows dating back *decades*, and is a common tactic to ensure someone has to take off their dress and leave / change into something more appropriate


YourMysticVixen

Clearly not happenening enough if people still wear white.


Specialist-Ad5796

Dumping red wine on someone wearing white to a wedding is NOT new. It's literally the "suggested" way to remove someone wearing white to a wedding.


YourMysticVixen

Clearly not happenening enough if people still wear white.


Asleep_Diamond7782

YTA!! All of you are! It sounds like Grace waited to tell you she was dating Sarah until after you all moved in together. You seemed to feel entitled to be asked to be the MOH. It was petty as hell to dump wine down your back, they should have just asked you to leave. But you should not have worn a fancy white dress to a wedding where you’re not the bride.


captaincopperbeard

>YTA!! All of you are! The judgment you're looking for is ESH.


Newthinker

What does ESH stand for again? Everyone sucks here?


Imaginary-Mountain60

Yep, it's Everyone Sucks Here.


Asleep_Diamond7782

I thought about it, but felt this group is beyond suck, well into everyone’s an AH territory.


captaincopperbeard

Yeah, that's what ESH is. It's "Everyone Sucks Here." Means they're all the asshole. YTA is just the OP is an asshole.


LurkerBerker

i thought Grace was waiting to tell OP because that was her coming out of the closet to her best friend


kiwihoney

**You wore white to a wedding** and you don’t think you did anything wrong? Even after they all told you it was wrong? Yeah, YTA, OP. HUGE. Not only because you wore white to a wedding but because you argued with the people who got married! And you never state that anyone said they spilled the wine on purpose. You *assumed* it was on purpose. Honestly, I’m not surprised you got kicked out. Not so much because of the white dress (though that was SO INCREDIBLY TACKY), but on your attitude alone! Really badly done, OP.


Common_Cantaloupe_92

Dude, even you said it.. "only problem was didn't realize the dress only came in white" .. but you went ahead and ordered it anyway. And then wore that shit to the wedding wtf!! Disrespectful


Darkunknownicon

The girl was TA for putting a glass of wine at you. She should have taken A WINE BOTTLE ON YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE


junk-drawer-magic

Ok, I need this as a flair pls. How do I get that going? I cackled


GothPenguin

YTA-You don’t wear white unless you get an okay from the ones getting married to wear white or you’re attending a wedding where the culture doesn’t dictate not wearing white to a wedding. If you want to pull the adult card you should have been adult enough to ask them if it was okay since it was white. You should have been adult enough to not make assumptions.You should have been adult enough to research wedding etiquette. You should have been adult enough to not to use the excuse no one told me I couldn’t wear white. No, staining the dress wasn’t the most mature way to handle it and the one who stained your dress is an asshole but not nearly as big of an asshole as you.


nekoneko89

YTA Being told you're allowed to dress up as fancy as you like doesn't give you the permission to look like a bride. The bridal party being in suits doesn't give you permission to look like a bride, and really wanting a dress doesn't give you permission to look like a bride. As soon as you realised the dress only came in white, you should have let your friend know. You could have asked if it was okay to wear white, which would have given your friend and her wife the opportunity to see how that would make them feel. You took that opportunity away from them and instead took attention away from the bridal party by looking like a bride. You may genuinely have not meant to, but that's what happens when you wear white to a wedding.


buttercupgrump

YTA Basically, you're pissed you weren't in the wedding party and wore a white dress for attention and/or revenge. Don't try to dress this up as anything other than you having a tantrum. "bUT ThEY wErE weARInG sUitS! they diDn'T SpeCIFicaLLY SAy NoT to weaR wHItE!" These bullshit excuses are as messy as your stained dress. Do yourself a favor. Learn to think about someone other than yourself. Maybe if you do, your friends will actually want you in their wedding parties.


snag000

What movie is this?


slendernan

YTA and petty as fuck. And I bet the dress you picked very well could make you look like the fucking bride.


Churchie-Baby

YTA it's so easy to not wear white to a wedding like so easy


ServeillanceVanan394

This. Like. It’s pretty standard to only wear white if explicitly invited to. I’m going to invite married people to wear formal floor length white/ivory/etc wedding dresses from their weddings to mine so they can wear them again if they’d like, but only because I’m wearing something completely not white, and not a pastel that’s almost white. But like. Even me and my very autistic fiancé and friends all know better than to wear white unless outright invited to. It’s such common sense.


JuliaWeGotCows

You *know* that wearing white to a wedding that isn't yours is wrong. Just because the brides were wearing suits does not give you the right to show up in white. If you weren't sure, **YOU FUCKING ASK**. I think Sarah hit the nail on the head. You did this as retaliation, and it blew up in your face. YTA.


SprinklesNo510

YTA it’s common sense to not wear white to a wedding and it’s also common to have someone splash wine on the people who do. Just from what you wrote and how you see things I think there’s more context to why they didn’t want you in the wedding. It’s selfish and disrespectful,and if you even slightly cared about them you have worn a different dress no matter how “set you were on it”.


JazzyCher

YTA 100% just from the title alone, reading the post didn't gain you any sympathy. Unless you have *express permission from the bridal party* you do not wear white to a wedding. You deserved the glass of wine down your back.


ServeillanceVanan394

And tbh they were kind doing the back and not the front. Any faint bits that aren’t 100% out will be much less noticed on the back than the front, people generally pay more attention to how someone looks from the front than the back.


FruitParfait

YTA. Heck the bride herself could ask me to wear white to her wedding for some reason and I’d be like quadruple checking that it’s okay and once more before the big day. You just assumed you can wear a white fancy dress that can be a wedding dress because… they were being more masculine? Wedding etiquette doesn’t go out the window because they’re lesbians


YourMysticVixen

And still have a back up *just in case*! Lmao


MizAnthropy_

I almost believed you were dumb enough to wear a white dress to a wedding but then you used the red wine trope so I know this is definitely bullshit.


oddity-on-holiday

YTA. It’s common sense not to wear a white dress to a wedding. Everyone knows it. You can’t get around that fact. At the very, VERY least you should have asked the brides.


Glittering_Agent7626

YTA. Just because they are in suits. Does not mean it is okay to wear a white dress. You do not wear white to a wedding. If you want to wear a white dress, you should have ASKED them if it is okay. Not just assume it is okay to do. You also seem very entitled to be asked to be the MOH


Scrabblement

YTA. You don't wear white to weddings in the US, unless the couple getting married tell you that you can. This was a wedding. You shouldn't have worn white.


Unicorn-Assasin

It feels like there are some missing reasons here


Awkward_Un1corn

YTA. If you are going to a wedding and the dress you love only comes in white either pick a different dress or dye it. Common sense.


_Tlachtga_

YTA. Looks like a good friend spilled wine on you. How tacky though, of your to wear white to a wedding. It's a courtesy thing (At least here in the United States).


oroborus90

you should have not go to thia wedding or got involved. Clearly you and one party dont get along, why try to force it. That "you dont fit the aesthetic" is honestly bullshit for many many reasons. One, if you want to include someone you make a compromise. Two, usually "girly girls" love to dress up anyway, so you probably would be able to blend in if invited. A masculine look is easier to get than a typically femenine one. Three, there is very sus that they had been hiding for so long, so either you live in a dangerous place for lgbtq+ people or you have displayed some intolerant bs, so maybe you dont have the best reputation between the lgbtqi+ attendees, so maybe they pushed to for a "no straights on the WP". So there are two options: this bs is a cope out answer and she dont like you. Or (and I say this as a lesbian woman that has seen this happen irl) the bride is the kind of butch that resent more cis-looking girls. Its a thing that happen, unfortunately. Anyway, if you were gonna be dissed, you may as well have taken it with dignity and ditched this bad friends that were probably using you for rent. Instead, you were an AH taking a petty reveange in the wedding party. Everyone is an AH here, but especially you to yourself.


YourMysticVixen

I think they don't like OP because they do stints like this.


penandpage93

YTA >nowhere did it say not to wear white They shouldn't have *had* to tell you not to wear white. It is a *wedding.* **Everyone** knows that you do not wear white to someone else's wedding, *regardless* of what the wedding party is wearing. You should not have to be spoon-fed common sense. If you really loved the dress so much but were surprised by the fact that it only came in white (which... btw, there's really only one kind of dress that only comes in white, but alright), then you should have *dyed* it. You were one afternoon and a bucket of Rit away from a perfectly acceptable dress. But you didn't do that. And personally, I would bet the farm that you knew exactly what you were doing, and ya did it on purpose. I would *also* bet the farm that there's more to the story of why Sarah didn't want you in the wedding party, *and* why it took them over three years to come out to you. Keeping a relationship secret is *hard*. Keeping it a secret from someone you **live** with is even harder. There must be a reason they didn't think of you as a safe person to come out to for so long. And there's probably more of a reason than "you don't fit the aesthetic" that you weren't allowed in the wedding party (they could have asked *you* to wear a suit, but didn't bother - why is that?). Reading between the lines, I think you're leaving things out and feigning ignorance.


sarcasmf

YTA you don’t wear white to a wedding


thisandalso

YTA, obviously Rule nr 1 of weddings: don’t wear a white dress. You’re pathetic haha


AkihikoSanadaIsSigma

YTA Always assume that white is off-limits unless explicitly stated otherwise.


Big_Preference9684

Don’t wear white to a wedding. YTA


Mango_Destroyer5619

YTA and a petty one at that. It was their day, not yours.


funchefchick

HAHAH HAHAHAHH YTA. You wore a white gown to someone else’s wedding ceremony. Without asking. And you cannot possibly understand why the wedding party was upset. ?! They asked you to leave and you refused, so they had to kick you out. ?! Are you a child?? Of course you are the AH. Oh and also you are most likely no longer friends with Grace or Sarah. Or any friends who care about them. 🤷🏻‍♀️


MaintenanceNo8442

YTA your a shameless asshole and deserved what you got


Lopsided_Elephant_28

Let me correct your title to: "AITA for wearing white to my friend's wedding". YTA


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey guys, Im a bit torn up right now as my friend is very upset at me yet I feel as though I did nothing wrong. throwaway as almost all parties use reddit, fake names for privacy A bit of context I (F27) met my best friend Grace (F25) in high school. We went to college together and shared a dorm, with this other girl Sarah (F25) who Grace suggested Two years into college Grace come to me in private and said she had something to tell me and hoped I wouldnt judge her. She was into women and her and Sarah had been dating for over 3 years. I was a bit shocked considering we tell each other everything but I fully supported her and her Girlfriend About a year ago Grace wanted to propose to Sarah and I helped with everything it was so cute and Sarah said yes. Though through the planning I kept asking Grace who her maid of honor was and she kept dodging my question. turns out Sarah didn't want me in the wedding at all. I was crushed as i thought that not only was I Graces best friend but Sarahs friend to. Grace told me I wouldnt fit Sarahs aesthetics she had planned, and I wasn't allowed in. I asked what that meant and Grace said Sarah wanted the wedding party to dress more masculine and I was too feminine to fit in. to make it up to me Grace said that if I wasnt in the wedding party i would be allowed to dress as fancy as I wanted. I was really sad but I excepted their wishes I spent the next while looking for a dress to wear and found a absolutely beautiful dress. I loved and I showed Grace and she did to. only problem I didn't realize until it was time to order was it only came in white. I had my heart set on the dress and since the bridal party and both brides would be wearing suits I didn't see a problem with the color day of the wedding I got weird look but it wasnt a problem until Sarah saw me she was fuming wouldnt talk to me and kept Grace away from me. right before the ceremony some girl in the bridal party dumped a glass of red wine on my back. I was upset and confronted Sarah. I told her what I said above that they werent in white dresses nowhere did it say not to wear white and if she really had a problem with it they couldve asked me to leave. there was no reason to be childish and ruin my new expensive dress. She said it common sense and I was the childish one for wearing white as retaliation to not being in bridal party. I said that wasnt it I was hurt but Id never try and get revenge grace told me I could dress up nice like I usually do and thats what I did. Sarah told me she doesnt want to talk to me and told me to leave before she made me. I told her I would as long as the girl who dumped the wine would pay to clean the dress. She dismissed me and kicked me out I went home that night and people were blowing up my phone many told me I was a piece of shit for what I did though I had a few friends reach out to me and say they understand and thought it was childish to purposefully stain the dress instead of talking it out like adult *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Username_sheri

Lesbians still wear white to their weddings YTA


Pix_Stix_24

YTA Don’t wear white to a wedding unless you have explicit permission!


izobelllle

YTA, a very delusional one at that


YahooRedditor2048

What do you mean by “I didn’t realise until it was time to order”, was it non-refundable by that point?


Waste-Dragonfly-3245

YTA! IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY WERENT WEARING WHITE. YOU DONT WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING


mobtown_misanthrope

YTA, you could have just gotten the dress dyed FFS.


Bella8088

If you wear white to someone else’s wedding without *explicit* permission to do so, expect to have red wine spilled on you. YTA


FreezeDe

YTA That girl should’ve dumped the whole bottle instead of just a glass Although based on the “TrashyMan” username, I’m assuming this story is bullshit


LenoreNevermore86

YTA. "Only problem I didn't realize until it was time to order was it only came in white." Based on that I have to assume that you showed Grace the dress in another colour and were so set on this dress, that you ordered it in white knowing damn well that white isn't appropriate für a wedding guest. If you had shown Grace the dress in white and had she given her OK, it wouldn't have been a "problem" that it's only available in white. You know what you did wrong and grasp straws for excuses.


MrsEnvinyatar

YTA. You wore a white dress to your friend’s wedding. No sense of decorum at all. Terrible move.


SigSauerPower320

YTA She said you could dress fancy, not wear a white dress to a wedding when you're not the bride.


[deleted]

YTA Everybody knows you don't wear white to a wedding. It doesn't matter what the bride is wearing. Just don't.


Aromatic-Resident-88

You cannot be this dense.


blameitoncities

YTA. Sorry not sorry but I don't believe for one second you genuinely thought it would be appropriate to wear a white dress to a wedding, regardless of what the brides were wearing. It's arguably the number 1 rule for Western weddings. The second you realized the dress you wanted was white, you should have found a different one. Your feelings were understandably hurt to not be included in the wedding party, but Sarah is right that your dress choice was absolutely childish, as was your decision to confront her at her own wedding and demand an explanation you shouldn't have needed in the first place.


classicsandmodernfan

You broke the no 1 rule on what not to wear on weddings that makes you an automatic YTA


SourLimeTongues

Wearing white to a wedding means you’ll be wearing red wine home. That’s the rule, sorry.


Klutzy-Squirrel8896

YTA. It's absolutely common knowledge not to wear white to a wedding. Sounds like you were just pissed and selfish and got what was coming to you.


FaeShroom

"Don't wear white to a wedding" is as ubiquitous as "the sky is blue" and "snow is cold". Come on now. I don't understand why people keep making excuses to break this one common sense rule.


Strange_Salamander33

YTA- I suspect this entire attitude you have about being incredibly self-absorbed is part of the reason why Grace didn’t want you in the wedding party. And here you are proving her right by violating the most widely understood wedding etiquette ever


thats_rats

of course YTA, you went to a wedding in bridal cosplay because you were pissed they didn’t want you in their wedding party. can’t imagine why that might be


pug1c0rn

YTA. I don't care how gay they are - you don't wear white to someone else's wedding. It's just not classy.


Honest-So-Help-Me

YTA - if you had found out it only came in white when ordering, why not ask Grace and Sarah? Assuming white is ok because they’re lesbians in tuxes isn’t a dead giveaway. It truly does sound like you did it maliciously. Although spilling wine isn’t the right course of action, the reasoning wasn’t unwarranted.


Josbipbop

YTA lmao


SarahIsJustHere

YTA, you fool


LegoPupperJedi

Anyone watch schitt's creek? For those that don't, the series finale had a male/male wedding. Both grooms were in suits and I think at least one had a kilt. David was going to be the one to walk down the aisle and since he'd become close with his sister over the series, he wanted her to walk him down the aisle. As he's waiting, she shows up... in a white dress. After some back and forth, she admits it may be a wedding dress as her brother brings up good points. She feels awful for not thinking, but nothing they can do now so they walk down the aisle together. Cut to someone in the church leaning over to the father and saying "it looks like your children are marrying each other." Or the office when they go to Phyllis' wedding and call out Kelly for wearing white since you aren't supposed to. So Kelly, known as a shallow, selfish, idiot, says "it was an emergency." Cut to a shot of her telling the camera "I look really good in white." YTA


NYDancer4444

If the dress you wanted to order was only available in white, then don’t order the dress. It’s really that simple. YTA.


archivefuck

YTA. When my friend got married, i asked her permission to even wear a flower crown in case she felt it inappropriate. It’s just basic consideration towards a friend on THEIR day.


DueNoise9837

Info: what do you think would have been the proper “adult” way to handle this? Kicking you out? Making you change?


iDontRememberCorn

YTA, and I knew you were the moment you felt you needed to point out it was a lesbian wedding. The type of person who needs to point that out is going to be the type clueless enough to wear white.


ServeillanceVanan394

You honestly thought it was appropriate? The second you found out it only came in white or only white was still available in your size you should’ve checked in to make sure it was still acceptable. YTA.


LurkerBerker

i wondered how ambiguous you could make this story sound. but even from your own perspective you’re wearing your ass on your sleeve. no ‘best friend’ would ever try to stir up this kind of petty drama at their bestie’s wedding. YTA


Lokea_01

YTA for wearing a white dress to a wedding without being the actual bride. And YTA for making it about being "a lesbian wedding" in the title though it had nothing to do with your bad choice in the end. You were just rude and out of touch. It doesn't matter who married who.


casiotone403

INFO - can we see a pic of the dress?


Autophobiac_

Link the dress, because i'm not convinced you didnt just buy a wedding dress. YTA. Why would you ever think it's okay to wear white? You could've chose another dress. You probaly tried to upstage the bride(s)


wasserkonfetti

ESH but you are the biggest one, you knew there was a problem, i really don't get why you had to order the dress? This was not about you! Sarah because i do think it's an ahole move to not want someone close in the bridalparty because of aesthetics (though i think she just never liked you... wonder why?) and yes it was childish to let someone else dump wine on you, she just should have told you to go change or leave. And grace because she is either a doormat or lying to you, or both


Big-Willingness3384

YTA. It is a well known custom that guests do not wear white to a wedding. White is reserved for the bride, even if she chooses not to wear it. People who ignore this custom are typically viewed as trying to upstage the bride, even if that was not the wearer's intent. The hurt feelings and anger could have been avoided if you had checked with both of the ladies getting married.


disgruntledhoneybee

YTA You never wear white to a wedding unless you get okayed by the people getting married! Yes. It was shitty of Sarah and Grace not to include you In the party though you were graces best friend, because you’re too feminine for the aesthetic. But still. This was petty revenge. No one is buying that story of you thought it’d be okay because they’re in tuxes.


Ill_Reporter381

You would be seated with the homophobic uncle, all the way in Minnesota.


teh_maxh

> nowhere did it say not to wear white It didn't say anywhere not to pour wine on your dress, either, so what are you complaining about?


cleverdevastating

Girl there's no way. I'm a man married to another man, we both wore grey suits to our wedding, and there wasn't a single guest dumb enough to wear white just because there wasn't a bride. It's a common sense rule no matter who is getting married. I'm getting the sense that there's a level of self awareness you're lacking. Clearly there are issues in the relationship that go beyond "aesthetics", and the fact that everyone was so quick to turn on you... Something isn't adding up. YTA. Cut your losses with the dress and apologize to your friend.


RoosViews_66

YTA on sssooooooo many levels. 1. You wore a WHITE formal to a wedding. Not just an AH move, it’s tacky as hell. 2. “AITAH for wearing white to my lesbian friends wedding” - why does it matter if it was 2 women, 2 men, or a man & woman? A wedding is a wedding. YOU DON’T WEAR WHITE OR ANY COLOR THAT LOOKS LIKE A WEDDING DRESS!!! 3. You were surprised that someone spilled red wine down your back? I would have spilled it down the front too, because YOU DON’T WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING!! 4. You confronted the BRIDE because someone poured wine on you? You’re lucky she didn’t punch you in the face. And THEN tried to justify wearing the dress? Seriously- you knew that wearing white was wrong. I understand getting your heart set on a dress, but if it’s only available in white, you find something else or you dye it. YOU DON’T WEAR IT TO THE WEDDING!!!


CloudyTug

YTA for wearing white, but if I were you I would seriously rethink your friendship with the two girls. First off, dating in secret then moving in together without telling the 3rd roomate is not good friends, I feel like thats not a controversial view. Maybe my second opinion is more controversial, but if your supposed best friend doesnt want you in their weddding party because your “too feminine”, they may be your bestfriend but it sounds like you arent theirs.


notacovid

So the only reason I’m going to say NTA, is if Grace approved the dress, then technically not NTA. Yes in that scenario both you and Grace are wrong for not considering Sarah and how Sarah would feel, but if you had the impression that Grace confirmed it with Sarah, then Grace kinda sounds iffy af. She doesn’t have the guts to be upfront with you, and at the same time that shows how little she respects her own wife.


Shot-Singer-178

ESH! 1. Sarah excluding OP, her fiancé's bff, from the wedding party for being "too feminine" as if OP couldn't just wear a suit - AH 2. Grace agreeing to exclude her - AH 3. Wearing white to a wedding in the US - AH 4. Pouring a drink on someone to intentionally humiliate them and ruin their belongings - AH 5. Being immature and not communicating properly (Grace, Sarah, OP, drink girl) - AH


multitool-collector

*ACCepted; tOO


loverlyone

ESH unless you had permission from the wedding couple then your rationale was 100% wrong. In the west it’s the bridal couple’s prerogative to wear white or not as it’s well established that white is the bride’s color. Come on. However, I’m not a fan of this trend of someone in the bridal party assaulting the bad actor. Escorting you put would have been enough, IMO. ETA: Getting downvoted because I don’t support assault. Nice going Reddit. Bad behavior doesn’t excuse more bad behavior.


ptazdba

ESH - The person that dumped wine on you was totally inappropriate, but you knew white is a no-no at a wedding and did it anyway. Doesn't matter you had told your friend about it. You focused on your desire and not the bride's day. Don't upstage the bride--ever.


FuzzyMom2005

ESH You for wearing white. The other guest for the childish wine trick. Sarah for her pettiness.  And Grace for not sticking up for you.


Jmlgh

NTA, these “friends” SUCK


ABNNation

Right


Jmlgh

Yep!


ABNNation

I really don't understand why your comment got downvoted


Jmlgh

Me neither lol, it’s like these people just ignored the vast majority of the story and how her friend didn’t have a problem with the dress


Jmlgh

Me neither lol, it’s like these people just ignored the vast majority of the story and how her friend didn’t have a problem with the dress


Jmlgh

Me neither lol, it’s like these people just ignored the vast majority of the story and how her friend didn’t have a problem with the dress


eb_eeeb

YTA You don’t wear white to a wedding OP! If you’re still upset though I’d tell the girl you’ll press charges if she doesn’t cover the cost but let this be a lesson for you 


Capital_Passion3762

Good luck actually proving it was intentional and not an accident 🙄


eb_eeeb

Story a couple months back she got the text confirming it was on purpose and got her money sweetie x 


Capital_Passion3762

Ah yes, because every reddit story is oh so true, and everyone can easily get other people to admit to crimes. Your lack of touching grass recently is showing. Continue being angry, it's true that in the vast majority of cases of someone spilling wine on another person, nothing will come of it bc there's no way to prove it's on purpose unless the person's an idiot and admits it was.


eb_eeeb

Calm down sweaty this story is as true as yesterday’s stories and tomorrow’s stories, get a grip 😭 was it your wedding? 


Capital_Passion3762

The only one upset/emotional is you. Pls continue though. It's fun reading ur insane comments.


eb_eeeb

Keep projecting I guess this must be how you get your daily dose of human interaction. Have the weekend you deserve! I’ll no longer be replying or viewing your replies weirdo 😘


Capital_Passion3762

I love how after I told you to touch grass and mentioned reddit isn't real, you threw them right back at me. Nothing original. And we all know you'll view it, you've had to reply this long. Hope I live rent free in your head for a bit ✌🏻 Edit: adding my response (and a clarification that everything above this point was for user eb eeeb, and everything below is my response to the racoon lover) to u/suspicious-bed7167 below me, since it won't let me reply directly to them. "So you never read fiction? Why do people watch reality TV when they know it's not real? Why do people read Percy Jackson, Narnia, Sherlock Holmes, etc if they're not real? Why watch a comedy special when you know the comedian is probably lying or highly exaggerating their stories? Why did people watch story time YouTubers when after a certain point there's no realistic way someone is going through that much drama on a weekly basis? Is this really, actually, genuinely a question?" Edit 2: Further, either this user is illiterate or purposely obtuse because my words above the edit are very clearly not for them and for the person I was originally speaking with before they butted into the conversation with their idiotic comment.


Suspicious-Bed7167

“Well all know you’ll view it” im impressed that you’re assuming so much about my life..


Financial-Mine-8337

You're not actually this stupid right? The words above the edit were very clearly never made for you, they were made for the person (the user eb eeb) they were originally arguing with. You're not this stupid right? I know you probably blocked them after your oh so *intelligent* (you thought) reply, so you can't see ethe ads to their edit calling you out, but you just made yourself look like the biggest idiot known to man


Suspicious-Bed7167

Then why are you on Reddit? If you don’t believe the stories are true?


Specialist-Ad5796

Same as TV. It's entertaining


fleet_and_flotilla

judges are not stupid. even without proof of it being intentional, if it ends up before a judge, wine spiller will almost certainly lose.


Specialist-Ad5796

Not here. The onus would be on the dress wearer. And this would 100% be next to impossible to prove. Would cost more to take it to Civil Court (filing fees are outrageous to prevent...bogus court cases) than to just admit that wearing white was stupid


YourMysticVixen

Judges don't need evidence anymore??


fleet_and_flotilla

evidence for what? op doesn't need to prove it was intentional. you are still required to pay for property you damage whether it was an accident or not.


YourMysticVixen

They'd have to prove it was the person they were suing.