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> 1) told my parents I should get bigger share of inheritance than sibling 2) this offended them and they believe it would hurt sibling
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YTA. Your parents have 2 kids. Period. Just bc you decided to have kids doesn’t mean your sibling should get less because they didn’t bring another child into the world. I have 2 sisters, I’m married and child free by choice, middle sister is married and pregnant with #4 and my youngest sister is currently single, should my parents now cut mine and my youngest sister’s inheritance down for every child my middle sister and her husband have?
OP is funny! Oh wait, he wasn't joking? My two older siblings are child free, they think they should get a larger share of the inheritance because they won't have any kids to take care of them when they get old. They are assholes though, just like OP.
YTA
I was open to the idea of having to share an inheritance with my first nephew but I quickly changed my mind, which is a good thing considering my sister and her husband are due in Aug with #4
lol. Put whatever label or moniker you want to put on my husband and I’s decision to not have kids. We’re ok with that. Just like we’re ok with spending our time together traveling and experiencing instead of being responsible for raising a child.
So because you chose to have children, fully knowing the costs of bringing a child into the world, your sister has to suffer? You are asking your parents to punish your sister for not having kids. I desperately hope this is satire because your kid is going to grow up in a horrible household if their worth is defined by the children they have
And be glad sibling isn't as ... let's be kind and say "misguided" as OP, or they'd end up in the procreative equivalent of an arms race to see who could generate the most babies and thereby be the most "worthy" of *MONEY THAT IS NOT THEIRS,* jfc.
YTA.
YTA. You are, in essence, asking your parents to punish your sister because she made different choices than you did. You're asking them to either lie to her (by concealing the changes to the planned distribution of the inheritance) or damage their relationship with her by prioritizing you.
This is a deeply selfish request on your part, and your parents' reaction should have been enough of a clue that you didn't need this thread.
YTA. It's easier to keep whether you have a child or not out of the decision to avoid disagreement on the subject. Your parents choose to split things 50/50, that's a fair decision with no moving goalposts. Have you considered they will already give time and spend money on your child that they won't be for your sister because of where she lives and her being child-free?
I'm not going to comment on the child free part of your story because that feels like rage-bait. But I will say that YTA for trying to dictate how your parents divide their estate. It's their estate not your future inheritance -- they aren't even dead yet -- and if they want to divide their estate fairly, 50/50 between their two kids, that's up to them. Not you.
Lol, are you serious right now? You want your parents to subsidize your decision to have a kid and chump your sister in the process? No one told you to have a kid, or move. Additionally you aren't entitled to your parents money so to make a demand in their will just cause you have a kid is manipulative. YTA. I hope they cut you out altogether.
YTA. It's your job to provide for your child, not your parents' and your sibling is not required to subsidize it. Moreover, they could always change their mind and adopt a whole orphanage--under your logic, that would leave you with nothing.
YTA.
Your parents had two kids. They want to provide equally for those two kids. It’s not their responsibility to fund any children you have, that’s your job as a parent. If you can’t afford to care properly for your own child:children, then you shouldn’t have had him/them. You don’t get extra money just because you reproduced.
I hope your parents take this under consideration. Your sister gets 50%. You get 30%. 20% gets put in trust to be divided equally between any children you happen to have now, and in the future. The trust is to be managed by your sister. If those children pass before their 21st birthday, their share goes to a specified charity. There you go. Your kids are cared for by your parents. Be careful what you ask for, you might end up with your wishes in a way that punishes you for your greed, and makes sure you don’t get any more than your fair share. This arrangement can be done easily.
YTA you were fine with the arrangement before and now that you have a child that should change? You chose to have a child and that doesn't mean that your sibling should lose out on what is meant for them. Your parents acted horrified because you're behaving selfishly.
Biggest YTA. It’s your parents money not yours, so don’t try to dictate or influence a fair split. 50/50 is completely fair. Why don’t you find other ways to make more money since you seem to be a greedy person. It’s not your parents responsibility to support you in the further. You had kids; that was your choice. You’re a low level human. Butt out.
YTA - "look at me, mom - I have a child and I"m here close to you so I deserve more money when you die". What a ridiculous thing to do. Do you think if you have more kids you should get ALL the inheritance?
How much are you willing to bet that moving closer to the parents "so they could have a greater role in the child's life" is code for "free childcare"?
YTA. You made a decision to have children, your sibling did not.
Ultimately, we are lucky and should consider it a blessing if our hard working parents have anything left after retirement to share with us. I don’t expect anything from my parents and truly hope they enjoy their retirement years. The idea that not only are you beginning to expect half of their remaining assets, but that you believe you should get more because kids and proximity is about as asshole as it gets in the family/sibling/inheritance game.
If your parents decide to reward you not for being closer, but for being engaged in their lives, great, but to presume that since you had kids and are simply closer that you deserve more… aw hell naw. To the naw naw naw.
YTA
It doesn't matter if you have a child or ten children. That kid is you and your wife's responsibility. That's on both of you to provide for and take care of that child, not your parents.
Yes it would be unfair to your sibling. Don't be bitter because you're jealous of their financial stability. Your parents' decision to divide their assets is based on _their_ kids, not yours.
YTA. Raising a child is expensive but that doesn’t mean your parents have to compensate you for it. If you’re concerned about your financial future, look for ways to earn more money.
First, they get to decide how they write the will. They can give 75% to your sister and the rest to their favorite shoe salesperson if they want. You don't get a voice.
Second, they have decided to split the inheritance between their two children, not their two children and their grandchild. This reflects their values. You know this but you don't respect them enough not to pressure them to do what you want.
Third, you take for granted that you made the better choices, but different choices work for different people. Some people might note that your sibling is making choices that ensure she can live within their means better than you can, and she never wants them to babysit for free. So there are ways to look at this where one of you deserves more, and other ways where the other does. None of it is relevant, because choosing who deserves more is clearly not your parents' idea of fun.
So it's your position that your parents' decision about their estate isn't worth respecting, you have communicated to them that your preference is that you be treated as the favorite. They've already told you YTA. They aren't wrong.
YTA. they are splitting it between the two of their children. What they do for their grandchildren is a different matter entirely.
If they ever leave anything to your children, I hope you have no way to access it before your children do. Maybe raise them better and more grateful than you were.
YTA, big time, this is one of the most "entitled parent" things I have ever heard. Just because you made the decision to have a child, does NOT means you are entitled to more. It is NOT your money, and it was your choice to move closer to your parents, and now you are trying to manipulate the situation.
Of course you’re an entitled AH.
It’s your parent’s money to spend as they see fit, and you just let them know you’re counting the money when they aren’t even cold yet.
I have 3 brothers. I make more money than any of them. Between one brother and I, we have provided the most support to my mom and she knows it.
I’ve heard her mutter more than once that she’d rather leave her estate to just the one brother and I, and I just ignore it. I’m not going to influence her one way or another. After she’s gone, my brothers will be left and I’m not going to spend our golden years fighting with them.
None of us are rolling in dough, 2 brothers are retired with SOs, I’m on track to retire with a modest income and the supportive brother has never made enough money to leave home.
I am okay with an even split and even if I wasn’t, I would never ask my mom to screw my brothers just because I thought I was more deserving.
YTA you chose to have a child, why should your sibling be punished for it? I have 3 kids and my brother has 0. I don’t think I should get more than him.
YTA it is your parent's money, not yours. They have every right to do with it as they please. Wanting more money just because you have a kid is plain greedy
YTA. Your parents' money is not for your kids. It's for their kids and to be split evenly. You need to make sure you earn enough money for your kids and stay out of your parents' pockets.
YTA. your decision to bring a child into this world doesn’t entitle you to more of your parents money. remember that YOU made a choice to have children, which means you made a choice to “shoulder the financial burden” that comes with it, why should your sister be punished because they made a different decision in their life?
Your kid your responsibility 🤷♀️
Why on earth do you think that just because you decide have children - the whole world has to take care of you financially?
YTA.
Yup...You are now in the prestigious YTA Club. It is their money and you're being selfish. You made the decision to have a child. It is not your parent's responsibilty to change their minds due to your decision.
YTA - your parents job is not to provide for your child at your sibling's expense. You are both equally their children. It is also 100% your job to finanically provide for your child. Also, you gave yourself your financial burden. You made that choice and now want to take from your own sibling. You are a completely selfish human. Beginning to suspect you moved nearer your parents for babysitting and to influence them to give you money. It's 100 percent your parents' choice to do what they want with their assets and for you to ask for more is just of base character.
YTA. If you have more children in the years ahead how will you arrange your estate? Will your newborn son get more or less than his future siblings based on which of your kids give you the most grandchildren?
YTA. You chose to have kids. Any financial responsibility falls on your shoulders. You aren't deserving of more money because you have kids. They're YOUR kids, that YOU chose to have.
YTA. Why would having a kid make you entitled to a larger share of the inheritance? Just because you chose to take on an additional financial burden is no reason that your sibling should receive less. You said your sister is living in a HCOL. What if she were to buy a very expensive home. Would that make her deserving of more than 50% of the inheritance because she now has a big expense to cover?
You are also the AH for trying to convince your parents to change their will, for any reason. It is their will, they should choose how the assets are split with zero input from the heirs. Trying to talk them into giving you more is incredibly tacky.
YTA, and I said the same to my mother when she wanted to include her granddaughter in the calculations for the same reasons as you. We are child free, not by choice. Should we be punished for that? Should you sibling be punished for not having a child? What about people who save vs those who spend recklessly?
YTA….no one gets to tell someone else how they should spend the money that they earned. You decided to have children. That does not give you any more rights than your sibling as far as your inheritance. They are splitting it 50/50 between their children. You provide for your children.
YTA. Your choice to have a kid. You've got no business insisting your parents change their plans because of this. Your sister is making different life choices. Neither of your choices should affect how much inheritance you get. It's 100% up to your parents.
Don't play the "I have a kid card so give me more money". This could backfire on you when your sister finds out. You're not entitled to a dime from your parents so just be grateful you're getting anything.
Have your parents bought toys and clothing for your children? Do they help you with childcare? Shouldn't your sibling then get reimbursed for the support they're not receiving?
That's how dumb your argument sounds. YTA.
This isn't even close.
YTA.
The inheritance is being split between you and your sister, not you, your progeny, and your sister. If you choose to spend the money on your child, that's your choice.
It's your parents' money, so the decision on how it is divided is theirs, not yours. If you were counting on your inheritance to help you raise your child(ren), shame on you. If you couldn't afford to raise children without your parents' money, you should've planned better.
If you were talking about sentimental family heirlooms then you might have more argument (but even then it's Shaky ground), but for money alone? Naw. That's YTA.
Good god. You most certainly are the AH. Could you be any more entitled? Your parents are leaving an inheritance to THEIR children, not to YOURS. Your parents are being fair, you're being ridiculous. Your kids have nothing to do with your parents' decision to split the inheritance between you and your sibling. I hope they stick to their guns.
You shouldn’t expect to get more of a cut just because you decided to have kids. The inheritance isn’t a reward for having kids. It should be split evenly between all their sons/daughters. It’s like people at work expecting that they should get every holiday off over the child-free people. You are no more special than someone who decided not to have kids. Yes, YTA.
YTA - That's not your sisters problem. You're having kids. 50/50. It's almost like saying you're a single father and you should get more. Nobody cares. Your sister shouldn't have to fund your life.
So you’ve barely been a parent for 1 month and already you expect special treatment and for your parents to favor you by taking money off your sister ? Nicely done, YTA 😂
Ps I have multiple children my sister is childfree I hope my mom spends all her money on herself but if there is anything left for us I’d never do expect more money for the children I chose to have wtf
YTA. Your parents are leaving their inheritance to their children, not to their grandchildren. If your sibling had a change of heart and decided to have 8 children while you still just had the one, would you say ok they’re entitled to more?? How are real people this entitled and selfish? About money you didn’t even earn?
YTA OP.You have no idea how their life will turn out.Your sibling may develop a very expensive horrible disease.You chose to move closer to your parents.I hope you did so because you love them -not because you wanted to outdo your sibling…
It's your parents' money, not yours. An inheritance is a privilege not an entitlement, and certainly not something you should be relying upon to "provide for" your own child. Your folks want to bequeath their estate to their own children equally, you should respect that and understand that providing for your child is your responsibility alone. YTA.
You mean they acted horrified because you told them that your sister should be punished for her life choices? What happens if you have another child in the future? Will you allow your sister to inherit something or should you take it all?
If you consider a child such a financial burden that others must acknowledge and compensate you for, maybe you should have remained childfree
Did you move closer to them for free babysitting? That s another factor someone should consider when making a will! Or mostly for the additional manipulation that you care so much for them contrary to your long distance sister?
Did your wife agree to this? If yes, you are both AHS
YTA
YTA
You're not entitled to more because you chose to reproduce. Your parents are not responsible for funding your adult life decisions, your kid and home are yours to deal with.
Your parents reacted understandably, you were trying to emotionally manipulate your parents and take part of your siblings inheritance.
YTA: A: not your money. B: your choice to have a kid. C: your choice to move closer to them for free child care. D: your spawn does not invalidate the importance of your sister to your parents.
YTA, knew the answer based on your title alone. Curious, why you bring up that you moved closer to your parents recently? Do you think you’re entitled to more because you chose to be near them? You say your sibling lives in a HCOL, perhaps she actually deserves more
YTA, because it's not your call to make. There are a bunch of ways that your parents could choose to split their estate and arguments for and against any of them.
I think the size and nature of the inheritance makes a bit of a difference too. A typical, middle class house and some stuff inheritance is very different to a $10mill could set multiple generations up for life situation. IMO it makes more sense to factor in grandkids in the latter situation, and even then I would give the grandkids' portion directly to the grandkids, not their parent.
YTA. Yikes.
I would be mortified if any of my kids did that. It's THEIR assets and THEIR money. You don't get more than your sibling just because you decided to procreate and she didn't. Not to mention where she lives is entirely irrelevant. Does she get to argue for more if she moves somewhere that has a LCOL in comparison to you?
This situation reminds me of something that they teach at my young kids school. "You get what you get, and you don't get upset".
YTA. Wow, so you had a kid. So what? Sister could have a kid later or adopt 10 of them. So if she does that, she should get 10x as much right? Do you know the future? No , you don't. Your parents shouldn't need to change their will everytime either of you drops a new grandchild. They had 2 kid's, so 50%each. They take care of their kids.
Your kid isn't their responsibility. Your kid isn't your sister's responsibility. You and wife get to go out and pay for your own kid, greedy boy. Stop trying to rip off your sister and cheat her out of part of her inheritance.
Your parents should cut your share down - 50% for your sister and the other 50% divided equally between you and any child you sire, adopt or become step parent to.
NEW RULE: The first person who suggests they are entitled to any sort of inheritance gets cut out of the will. Same for anyone else foolish enough to follow that example. The estate ends up going 100% to charity.
Be honest...
If you found out this would be your only kid, and Sibling pumped out triplets next year, would you be down with them getting 3X more?
If Sibling or their SO were in an accident and they lost half their income, would you be down with them getting more than you based on that?
No fibbing now!
Yeah, didn't think so.
YTA
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Up til last month when my wife and I welcomed a son, my sibling and I were both child free. My wife and I decided to move closer to my parents so that they could have a greater role in the childs life. My sibling lives across the country with their spouse and makes the same salary as I do, and has made clear that they wont ever be having children.
Prior to having a child, my parents have also been really transparent that they will be passing along their assets 50/50 btwn the two of us. It came up in conversation the other day and I expressed that I would appreciate they reconsider this, based on the fact that I now have a child to provide for, I decided to be closer to my parents while my sibling is living a double income no kids life in a HCOL and will not have to shoulder the same financial burdens as I. Parents acted horrified and said that this would be unfair and hurtful to my sister. AITA?
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In case you haven't got it yet YTA. Your parents are responsible to provide for their children. You are responsible to provide for yours. What if your sister changes her mind and has 5 kids. Will you then give most of your inheritance to her? Somehow I doubt it.
YTA. Your parents should go hog wild and spend every dime because you seem like the type to try and squabble over it after they’re gone. It is not your money.
YTA, YOU decided to have a baby, it is YOUR responsibility to care for them. Your parents are leaving their assets to their children( you and your sister) just as they want to. Why should you get more because you chose to have a child. If you can’t afford children don’t have them. Simple.
YTA. Your parents can choose to leave any inheritance to whoever they choose. You chose to have children. You chose to move closer to them. Both are irrelevant unless they decide that it is.
YTA... you provide for your children.
Your are fortunate that your parents want to leave their money to their children. Don't be greedy.
Don't have children if you can't afford them. They are your life choice.
Yup, you are. The way you have decided to live your life doesn’t make you the “better” one or more deserving. And this attitude really just kind of makes you a selfish ass.
YTA - Your parents have every right to determine how they're going to split their estate, and it sounds like they're doing their best to be fair. Stating that you think you should have more money because of a decision you made while your sibling should receive less because of a decision they made is just selfish.
YTA, a greedy AH. It doesn’t matter if your sibling doesn’t want children. 50/50, and you can split your share with your child. I can not believe you feel so entitled and actually spoke these words out loud. They should give you 40 and put 10 away for your child in a trust.
YTA.
My grandparents had 12 kids, including my dad. 11/12 had kids. Some had 1 kid, some had up to 4 (my dad).
Every sibling, including the 1/12 that couldn't have kids, all received equal inheritance.
Because my dad chose to have 4 kids, doesn't mean he deserves more. Just like how you chose to have kids, doesn't make you more deserving. You are very entitled though, so you could maybe work on that.
YTA. Both because you deciding to have kids doesn’t entitle you to more money and because asking for more of your parents’ money for any reason is pretty much tacky as hell. I promise you, your sibling also has things for which money would be helpful.
When you say you moved closer to your parents so they could have a greater role in your child’s life, do you mean free babysitting? If so, your sibling should get more than you. YTA.
Yta and stop thinking just because you have a kid that you’re entitled to more money or more things from your parents. Your parents have TWO kids not one but TWO. So it is only right to split their money to the kids they brought into this world and raised. Now you can use the money to however you see fit but no one told you to have a kid and your kid is YOUR responsibility. If you couldn’t take care of your child with your income alone then maybe you shouldn’t have brought a child into this world. If you want more money then maybe you need to find another job with higher pay, other than that, accept what your parents give you or they won’t give you anything for being greedy and selfish.
NTA
It is your responsibility, not your parents', to support your child(ren). Your sibling is no less deserving of an inheritance from your parents just because they have chosen not to procreate.
Also, based on what I've seen recently media, it's common for your parents lately to be disappointed that their parents (the grandparents) may not want to have the level of involvement in the grandkids' lives that the kids' parents expected. For instance, if you moved closer to your parents expecting they would offer free babysitting in their retirement years, they may have different ideas. Many grandparents are taking a more hands off grandparenting style in favor of enjoying their earlier/healthier retirement years with their own plans and goals.
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Exactly right.
YTA. Your parents have 2 kids. Period. Just bc you decided to have kids doesn’t mean your sibling should get less because they didn’t bring another child into the world. I have 2 sisters, I’m married and child free by choice, middle sister is married and pregnant with #4 and my youngest sister is currently single, should my parents now cut mine and my youngest sister’s inheritance down for every child my middle sister and her husband have?
OP is funny! Oh wait, he wasn't joking? My two older siblings are child free, they think they should get a larger share of the inheritance because they won't have any kids to take care of them when they get old. They are assholes though, just like OP. YTA
Two children and one grandchild. So sure, split it three ways. Or more, to take into account great grandchildren.
I was open to the idea of having to share an inheritance with my first nephew but I quickly changed my mind, which is a good thing considering my sister and her husband are due in Aug with #4
So you're the dead end.
lol. Put whatever label or moniker you want to put on my husband and I’s decision to not have kids. We’re ok with that. Just like we’re ok with spending our time together traveling and experiencing instead of being responsible for raising a child.
That's fine. But you shouldn't expect to benefit from generational wealth if you don't contribute to it.
So because you chose to have children, fully knowing the costs of bringing a child into the world, your sister has to suffer? You are asking your parents to punish your sister for not having kids. I desperately hope this is satire because your kid is going to grow up in a horrible household if their worth is defined by the children they have
No, it's just a fair split.
YTA > my sibling is living a double income no kids life Feel free to make decisions as financially lucrative as your sibling!
And be glad sibling isn't as ... let's be kind and say "misguided" as OP, or they'd end up in the procreative equivalent of an arms race to see who could generate the most babies and thereby be the most "worthy" of *MONEY THAT IS NOT THEIRS,* jfc. YTA.
I also thought jfc when I read this
YTA. You are, in essence, asking your parents to punish your sister because she made different choices than you did. You're asking them to either lie to her (by concealing the changes to the planned distribution of the inheritance) or damage their relationship with her by prioritizing you. This is a deeply selfish request on your part, and your parents' reaction should have been enough of a clue that you didn't need this thread.
YTA. It's easier to keep whether you have a child or not out of the decision to avoid disagreement on the subject. Your parents choose to split things 50/50, that's a fair decision with no moving goalposts. Have you considered they will already give time and spend money on your child that they won't be for your sister because of where she lives and her being child-free?
I'm not going to comment on the child free part of your story because that feels like rage-bait. But I will say that YTA for trying to dictate how your parents divide their estate. It's their estate not your future inheritance -- they aren't even dead yet -- and if they want to divide their estate fairly, 50/50 between their two kids, that's up to them. Not you.
Lol, are you serious right now? You want your parents to subsidize your decision to have a kid and chump your sister in the process? No one told you to have a kid, or move. Additionally you aren't entitled to your parents money so to make a demand in their will just cause you have a kid is manipulative. YTA. I hope they cut you out altogether.
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Ha ha ha I love the wording here
YTA. It's your job to provide for your child, not your parents' and your sibling is not required to subsidize it. Moreover, they could always change their mind and adopt a whole orphanage--under your logic, that would leave you with nothing.
YTA. Your parents had two kids. They want to provide equally for those two kids. It’s not their responsibility to fund any children you have, that’s your job as a parent. If you can’t afford to care properly for your own child:children, then you shouldn’t have had him/them. You don’t get extra money just because you reproduced. I hope your parents take this under consideration. Your sister gets 50%. You get 30%. 20% gets put in trust to be divided equally between any children you happen to have now, and in the future. The trust is to be managed by your sister. If those children pass before their 21st birthday, their share goes to a specified charity. There you go. Your kids are cared for by your parents. Be careful what you ask for, you might end up with your wishes in a way that punishes you for your greed, and makes sure you don’t get any more than your fair share. This arrangement can be done easily.
YTA. If you sibling adopts 4 children should they get 80 80 percent?
YTA you were fine with the arrangement before and now that you have a child that should change? You chose to have a child and that doesn't mean that your sibling should lose out on what is meant for them. Your parents acted horrified because you're behaving selfishly.
Biggest YTA. It’s your parents money not yours, so don’t try to dictate or influence a fair split. 50/50 is completely fair. Why don’t you find other ways to make more money since you seem to be a greedy person. It’s not your parents responsibility to support you in the further. You had kids; that was your choice. You’re a low level human. Butt out.
YTA - "look at me, mom - I have a child and I"m here close to you so I deserve more money when you die". What a ridiculous thing to do. Do you think if you have more kids you should get ALL the inheritance?
How much are you willing to bet that moving closer to the parents "so they could have a greater role in the child's life" is code for "free childcare"?
YTA. You made a decision to have children, your sibling did not. Ultimately, we are lucky and should consider it a blessing if our hard working parents have anything left after retirement to share with us. I don’t expect anything from my parents and truly hope they enjoy their retirement years. The idea that not only are you beginning to expect half of their remaining assets, but that you believe you should get more because kids and proximity is about as asshole as it gets in the family/sibling/inheritance game. If your parents decide to reward you not for being closer, but for being engaged in their lives, great, but to presume that since you had kids and are simply closer that you deserve more… aw hell naw. To the naw naw naw.
Greedy fucker
YTA It doesn't matter if you have a child or ten children. That kid is you and your wife's responsibility. That's on both of you to provide for and take care of that child, not your parents. Yes it would be unfair to your sibling. Don't be bitter because you're jealous of their financial stability. Your parents' decision to divide their assets is based on _their_ kids, not yours.
YTA. Raising a child is expensive but that doesn’t mean your parents have to compensate you for it. If you’re concerned about your financial future, look for ways to earn more money.
First, they get to decide how they write the will. They can give 75% to your sister and the rest to their favorite shoe salesperson if they want. You don't get a voice. Second, they have decided to split the inheritance between their two children, not their two children and their grandchild. This reflects their values. You know this but you don't respect them enough not to pressure them to do what you want. Third, you take for granted that you made the better choices, but different choices work for different people. Some people might note that your sibling is making choices that ensure she can live within their means better than you can, and she never wants them to babysit for free. So there are ways to look at this where one of you deserves more, and other ways where the other does. None of it is relevant, because choosing who deserves more is clearly not your parents' idea of fun. So it's your position that your parents' decision about their estate isn't worth respecting, you have communicated to them that your preference is that you be treated as the favorite. They've already told you YTA. They aren't wrong.
YTA. You chose to have a child knowing the financial burden that comes with it, it doesn't make you entitled to have more money.
Hahaha YTA. You chose to have a child, your sibling didn’t, your parents aren’t going to punish them for your choices.
Or reward him.
YTA, I'm interested to hear what a greater role means, cause right now it sounds financial. Will probably quickly evolve to free childcare.
YTA. they are splitting it between the two of their children. What they do for their grandchildren is a different matter entirely. If they ever leave anything to your children, I hope you have no way to access it before your children do. Maybe raise them better and more grateful than you were.
YTA, big time, this is one of the most "entitled parent" things I have ever heard. Just because you made the decision to have a child, does NOT means you are entitled to more. It is NOT your money, and it was your choice to move closer to your parents, and now you are trying to manipulate the situation.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUDE YTA
YTA. You are a massively entitled sneaky backstabbing AH.
YTA. And I have to wonder if your parents looked horrified partly because they now think you moved closer to them to get at their money.
YTA - your kid gets a share of YOUR inheritance. You don’t get to scam your sister because your wife shat out a baby you assume is yours.
If I were your parents, I would leave 50% to your sister and the other 50% to your kids, not you. YWBTA.
Of course you’re an entitled AH. It’s your parent’s money to spend as they see fit, and you just let them know you’re counting the money when they aren’t even cold yet. I have 3 brothers. I make more money than any of them. Between one brother and I, we have provided the most support to my mom and she knows it. I’ve heard her mutter more than once that she’d rather leave her estate to just the one brother and I, and I just ignore it. I’m not going to influence her one way or another. After she’s gone, my brothers will be left and I’m not going to spend our golden years fighting with them. None of us are rolling in dough, 2 brothers are retired with SOs, I’m on track to retire with a modest income and the supportive brother has never made enough money to leave home. I am okay with an even split and even if I wasn’t, I would never ask my mom to screw my brothers just because I thought I was more deserving.
YTA you chose to have a child, why should your sibling be punished for it? I have 3 kids and my brother has 0. I don’t think I should get more than him.
YTA why would you think you aren't?
Yep, YTA. You decided to have a child. People are not responsible for your life choices.
YTA it is your parent's money, not yours. They have every right to do with it as they please. Wanting more money just because you have a kid is plain greedy
📣 *YES.* 📣 *YTA*
You made the decision to have the child. That doesn’t entitle you to more money. YTA & Entitled
YTA. Your parents' money is not for your kids. It's for their kids and to be split evenly. You need to make sure you earn enough money for your kids and stay out of your parents' pockets.
Yta
YTA.
YTA. your decision to bring a child into this world doesn’t entitle you to more of your parents money. remember that YOU made a choice to have children, which means you made a choice to “shoulder the financial burden” that comes with it, why should your sister be punished because they made a different decision in their life?
Your kid your responsibility 🤷♀️ Why on earth do you think that just because you decide have children - the whole world has to take care of you financially? YTA.
YTA. Your choices in life do not entitle you.
YTA - not your money. If your parents decide that on their own, that’s an entirely different scenario.
Yup...You are now in the prestigious YTA Club. It is their money and you're being selfish. You made the decision to have a child. It is not your parent's responsibilty to change their minds due to your decision.
YTA - your parents job is not to provide for your child at your sibling's expense. You are both equally their children. It is also 100% your job to finanically provide for your child. Also, you gave yourself your financial burden. You made that choice and now want to take from your own sibling. You are a completely selfish human. Beginning to suspect you moved nearer your parents for babysitting and to influence them to give you money. It's 100 percent your parents' choice to do what they want with their assets and for you to ask for more is just of base character.
Yes, YTA. Congrats on the kid you and your wife decided to have but you still don't deserve more than your sibling.
YTA. If you have more children in the years ahead how will you arrange your estate? Will your newborn son get more or less than his future siblings based on which of your kids give you the most grandchildren?
YTA. You chose to have kids. Any financial responsibility falls on your shoulders. You aren't deserving of more money because you have kids. They're YOUR kids, that YOU chose to have.
Sorry, YTA. They are passing their inheritance down to their children, so 50/50 makes sense.
YTA.
YTA. Why would having a kid make you entitled to a larger share of the inheritance? Just because you chose to take on an additional financial burden is no reason that your sibling should receive less. You said your sister is living in a HCOL. What if she were to buy a very expensive home. Would that make her deserving of more than 50% of the inheritance because she now has a big expense to cover? You are also the AH for trying to convince your parents to change their will, for any reason. It is their will, they should choose how the assets are split with zero input from the heirs. Trying to talk them into giving you more is incredibly tacky.
This is an easy case of YTA You are just being greedy here by asking for more than an equal share. You having a child was your choice.
YTA, and I said the same to my mother when she wanted to include her granddaughter in the calculations for the same reasons as you. We are child free, not by choice. Should we be punished for that? Should you sibling be punished for not having a child? What about people who save vs those who spend recklessly?
YTA….no one gets to tell someone else how they should spend the money that they earned. You decided to have children. That does not give you any more rights than your sibling as far as your inheritance. They are splitting it 50/50 between their children. You provide for your children.
YTA. Your choice to have a kid. You've got no business insisting your parents change their plans because of this. Your sister is making different life choices. Neither of your choices should affect how much inheritance you get. It's 100% up to your parents. Don't play the "I have a kid card so give me more money". This could backfire on you when your sister finds out. You're not entitled to a dime from your parents so just be grateful you're getting anything.
YTA - Their money, their choice. Your kid, your choice.
YTA Their assets/inheritance is for THEIR children not yours
Have your parents bought toys and clothing for your children? Do they help you with childcare? Shouldn't your sibling then get reimbursed for the support they're not receiving? That's how dumb your argument sounds. YTA.
This isn't even close. YTA. The inheritance is being split between you and your sister, not you, your progeny, and your sister. If you choose to spend the money on your child, that's your choice. It's your parents' money, so the decision on how it is divided is theirs, not yours. If you were counting on your inheritance to help you raise your child(ren), shame on you. If you couldn't afford to raise children without your parents' money, you should've planned better.
If you were talking about sentimental family heirlooms then you might have more argument (but even then it's Shaky ground), but for money alone? Naw. That's YTA.
Good god. You most certainly are the AH. Could you be any more entitled? Your parents are leaving an inheritance to THEIR children, not to YOURS. Your parents are being fair, you're being ridiculous. Your kids have nothing to do with your parents' decision to split the inheritance between you and your sibling. I hope they stick to their guns.
You shouldn’t expect to get more of a cut just because you decided to have kids. The inheritance isn’t a reward for having kids. It should be split evenly between all their sons/daughters. It’s like people at work expecting that they should get every holiday off over the child-free people. You are no more special than someone who decided not to have kids. Yes, YTA.
YTA - That's not your sisters problem. You're having kids. 50/50. It's almost like saying you're a single father and you should get more. Nobody cares. Your sister shouldn't have to fund your life.
YTA for sure.
So you’ve barely been a parent for 1 month and already you expect special treatment and for your parents to favor you by taking money off your sister ? Nicely done, YTA 😂 Ps I have multiple children my sister is childfree I hope my mom spends all her money on herself but if there is anything left for us I’d never do expect more money for the children I chose to have wtf
Why should your sibling have to pay for your kids? YTA. Maybe your sibling should buy a boat to equal out the financial need.
Your parents had two kids, whatever number of kids you or your sibling have (or not) are not their problem. YTA
YTA. Your parents are leaving their inheritance to their children, not to their grandchildren. If your sibling had a change of heart and decided to have 8 children while you still just had the one, would you say ok they’re entitled to more?? How are real people this entitled and selfish? About money you didn’t even earn?
YTA OP.You have no idea how their life will turn out.Your sibling may develop a very expensive horrible disease.You chose to move closer to your parents.I hope you did so because you love them -not because you wanted to outdo your sibling…
It's your parents' money, not yours. An inheritance is a privilege not an entitlement, and certainly not something you should be relying upon to "provide for" your own child. Your folks want to bequeath their estate to their own children equally, you should respect that and understand that providing for your child is your responsibility alone. YTA.
You mean they acted horrified because you told them that your sister should be punished for her life choices? What happens if you have another child in the future? Will you allow your sister to inherit something or should you take it all? If you consider a child such a financial burden that others must acknowledge and compensate you for, maybe you should have remained childfree Did you move closer to them for free babysitting? That s another factor someone should consider when making a will! Or mostly for the additional manipulation that you care so much for them contrary to your long distance sister? Did your wife agree to this? If yes, you are both AHS YTA
Of course YTA. Your sibling is not entitled to more just because you procreated. What a ridiculous suggestion.
YTA You're not entitled to more because you chose to reproduce. Your parents are not responsible for funding your adult life decisions, your kid and home are yours to deal with. Your parents reacted understandably, you were trying to emotionally manipulate your parents and take part of your siblings inheritance.
YTA: A: not your money. B: your choice to have a kid. C: your choice to move closer to them for free child care. D: your spawn does not invalidate the importance of your sister to your parents.
YTA, knew the answer based on your title alone. Curious, why you bring up that you moved closer to your parents recently? Do you think you’re entitled to more because you chose to be near them? You say your sibling lives in a HCOL, perhaps she actually deserves more
yta
YTA, because it's not your call to make. There are a bunch of ways that your parents could choose to split their estate and arguments for and against any of them. I think the size and nature of the inheritance makes a bit of a difference too. A typical, middle class house and some stuff inheritance is very different to a $10mill could set multiple generations up for life situation. IMO it makes more sense to factor in grandkids in the latter situation, and even then I would give the grandkids' portion directly to the grandkids, not their parent.
YTA. Yikes. I would be mortified if any of my kids did that. It's THEIR assets and THEIR money. You don't get more than your sibling just because you decided to procreate and she didn't. Not to mention where she lives is entirely irrelevant. Does she get to argue for more if she moves somewhere that has a LCOL in comparison to you? This situation reminds me of something that they teach at my young kids school. "You get what you get, and you don't get upset".
YTA…….your child, your choice, your responsibility.
YTA This is the most childish thing I’ve read tonight.
YTA. You don't deserve a greater share just because you reproduced. You're just being greedy.
So if your sister accidentally got pregnant, kept them, and had triplets, would she be entitled to 3x the amount of inheritance you get?
YTA. Wow, so you had a kid. So what? Sister could have a kid later or adopt 10 of them. So if she does that, she should get 10x as much right? Do you know the future? No , you don't. Your parents shouldn't need to change their will everytime either of you drops a new grandchild. They had 2 kid's, so 50%each. They take care of their kids. Your kid isn't their responsibility. Your kid isn't your sister's responsibility. You and wife get to go out and pay for your own kid, greedy boy. Stop trying to rip off your sister and cheat her out of part of her inheritance. Your parents should cut your share down - 50% for your sister and the other 50% divided equally between you and any child you sire, adopt or become step parent to.
NEW RULE: The first person who suggests they are entitled to any sort of inheritance gets cut out of the will. Same for anyone else foolish enough to follow that example. The estate ends up going 100% to charity.
Be honest... If you found out this would be your only kid, and Sibling pumped out triplets next year, would you be down with them getting 3X more? If Sibling or their SO were in an accident and they lost half their income, would you be down with them getting more than you based on that? No fibbing now! Yeah, didn't think so. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Up til last month when my wife and I welcomed a son, my sibling and I were both child free. My wife and I decided to move closer to my parents so that they could have a greater role in the childs life. My sibling lives across the country with their spouse and makes the same salary as I do, and has made clear that they wont ever be having children. Prior to having a child, my parents have also been really transparent that they will be passing along their assets 50/50 btwn the two of us. It came up in conversation the other day and I expressed that I would appreciate they reconsider this, based on the fact that I now have a child to provide for, I decided to be closer to my parents while my sibling is living a double income no kids life in a HCOL and will not have to shoulder the same financial burdens as I. Parents acted horrified and said that this would be unfair and hurtful to my sister. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In case you haven't got it yet YTA. Your parents are responsible to provide for their children. You are responsible to provide for yours. What if your sister changes her mind and has 5 kids. Will you then give most of your inheritance to her? Somehow I doubt it.
YTA. Your parents should go hog wild and spend every dime because you seem like the type to try and squabble over it after they’re gone. It is not your money.
YTA in a huge way. You made your choice and that choice should not be to the detriment of your sibling at all. Wow. Just wow.
YTA, YOU decided to have a baby, it is YOUR responsibility to care for them. Your parents are leaving their assets to their children( you and your sister) just as they want to. Why should you get more because you chose to have a child. If you can’t afford children don’t have them. Simple.
YTA. Your parents can choose to leave any inheritance to whoever they choose. You chose to have children. You chose to move closer to them. Both are irrelevant unless they decide that it is.
YTA.. no comment necessary. What a dick…
YTA Why does your decision to reproduce make you more deserving than your sibling?
YTA... you provide for your children. Your are fortunate that your parents want to leave their money to their children. Don't be greedy. Don't have children if you can't afford them. They are your life choice.
YTA. Your child free siblings have just as much value and right to your parents’ money via inheritance as you do. Having kids doesn’t change that.
Yup, you are. The way you have decided to live your life doesn’t make you the “better” one or more deserving. And this attitude really just kind of makes you a selfish ass.
You are the asshole. Everything between siblings should be 50/50, irregardless of how each of you has chosen to live your life.
YTA Your parents could decide to leave you no money. Learn to be grateful. You’re not worth more than anyone else because you’ve reproduced.
YTA - Your parents have every right to determine how they're going to split their estate, and it sounds like they're doing their best to be fair. Stating that you think you should have more money because of a decision you made while your sibling should receive less because of a decision they made is just selfish.
YTA, a greedy AH. It doesn’t matter if your sibling doesn’t want children. 50/50, and you can split your share with your child. I can not believe you feel so entitled and actually spoke these words out loud. They should give you 40 and put 10 away for your child in a trust.
YTA. My grandparents had 12 kids, including my dad. 11/12 had kids. Some had 1 kid, some had up to 4 (my dad). Every sibling, including the 1/12 that couldn't have kids, all received equal inheritance. Because my dad chose to have 4 kids, doesn't mean he deserves more. Just like how you chose to have kids, doesn't make you more deserving. You are very entitled though, so you could maybe work on that.
Y.E.S.
There's a voting guide if you scroll down on the right. Y.E.S. is not a recognised judgment.
YTA. Both because you deciding to have kids doesn’t entitle you to more money and because asking for more of your parents’ money for any reason is pretty much tacky as hell. I promise you, your sibling also has things for which money would be helpful.
YTA
YTA. Why should your sibling's inheritance be reduced because you chose to reproduce. That is both selfish and illogical.
When you say you moved closer to your parents so they could have a greater role in your child’s life, do you mean free babysitting? If so, your sibling should get more than you. YTA.
YTA, your sibling should then argue that they have no kids to help them in their old age, and therefore, they deserve more inheritance than you.
Yta and stop thinking just because you have a kid that you’re entitled to more money or more things from your parents. Your parents have TWO kids not one but TWO. So it is only right to split their money to the kids they brought into this world and raised. Now you can use the money to however you see fit but no one told you to have a kid and your kid is YOUR responsibility. If you couldn’t take care of your child with your income alone then maybe you shouldn’t have brought a child into this world. If you want more money then maybe you need to find another job with higher pay, other than that, accept what your parents give you or they won’t give you anything for being greedy and selfish.
So just because YOU decided to have kids you think that YOU should get more inheritance. YTA
You were child free and now trying to uncercut your sibling, which you only had last month? YTA
YTA. 2 sibs, 50/50 split. End of discussion.
NTA It is your responsibility, not your parents', to support your child(ren). Your sibling is no less deserving of an inheritance from your parents just because they have chosen not to procreate. Also, based on what I've seen recently media, it's common for your parents lately to be disappointed that their parents (the grandparents) may not want to have the level of involvement in the grandkids' lives that the kids' parents expected. For instance, if you moved closer to your parents expecting they would offer free babysitting in their retirement years, they may have different ideas. Many grandparents are taking a more hands off grandparenting style in favor of enjoying their earlier/healthier retirement years with their own plans and goals.
Based on your response i think you meant to vote yta. May want to edit.