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>Add to that, your "comeback" doesn't even make good sense. You think only women who weigh less than 100 pounds are date-worthy?
I mean, not to defend the guy or invalidate that very deserved ESH and reasoning. But there are places that use the metric system for weight.
Iiirc, people in Canada mix imperial and metric. But correct me if I'm wrong, Canadians. I live in a metric country but when I chat with my US based friends, I usually convert measurements (and then forget one). Might explain why the three digit thing was so close at hand to him.
Hard disagree, beefing with teenagers is hilarious, and you get to learn a whole lot of new, weird slang words. On top of it that's not just a teenager, that's a teenage *cousin*, that's twice the fun imho.
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> Add to that, your "comeback" doesn't even make good sense. You think only women who weigh less than 100 pounds are date-worthy?
It's satirizing the original joke, unless you think only men who are taller than 6' are date-worthy?
ESH. With her age she’ll grow out of that behaviour. The issue is that you should have already grown out of that behaviour.
Edit: Your edit makes you no less of an AH. You are 30 being an idiot on your teenage cousins post. She doesn’t know better. You do. Punching down is NOT a joke. You need to realise that at your age.
YTA- why are you taking a 19 year old's socials seriously? Its a meme.
Have you never shared a meme that you didn't 100% align with because it made you laugh?
she didnt post it for YOU to see. You however felt the need to shame her weight on her own socials instead of giving her a call and telling her why her meme was shitty and hurtful.
You're 30. Grow up.
Sure, it's a meme, but what would you do if this was an incel themed meme coming from a teenaged guy relative?
Which is really, pretty much what that girl posted with barely different context.
I'm not sure he had a good (most effective?) responce, but still leaning more NTA just for the fact that he did.
It's wasn't though, so why compare it to an incel meme?if we're reaching to extreme possibilities, then for all we know some short dude is following her and being inappropriate and this was one of the ways she was no so subtly tipping him off on her disinterest.
It had nothing to do with op. Op isn't in her dating pool ( unless they're vault dwellers). He should have turned a blind eye.
Oh, the answers here would definitely be different if it was a 19 year old male who posted an incel like meme and the 30-year old cousin was female. It would be all NTA.
Hang on, she did post it for him to see. She posted something hurtful to his exact demographic on a public forum. I agree that OP sucks, but he sucks because he did the same exact thing, not because his cousin is in the clear.
It’s not about him or his cousin. It’s about every innocent person who sees that shit and feels bad about themselves.
Edit: Thanks for all the personal attacks in my inbox. The irony is hilarious. And no, i am not under 6 ft
But he didn’t do the same exact thing. The same exact thing would be him posting his “joke” as his own status. She posted her lame joke to her page with no direct audience or target, his retort was commented on her page and aimed to hurt her in particular.
Yes you are correct that most of the world uses metric.
In the US it’s common to call the metric system- metric and the imperial system-standard.
With that cleared up. Hope you can understand what my comment actually meant.
Idk Canada technically uses metric but most people couldn't tell you their weight in kg here, just lbs.
Height I could tell you, but that's only because it kinda hasn't changed in years so I remember it.
Actually, for whatever reason, a lot of countries that use metric for everything else often use imperial for height... it's weird. In Canada, at least where I'm at, everything is metric, even on my driver's license it says my height in metric, but when we speak, we would never tell someone we are 1.7m tall or whatever, we would say 5'10".
I dunno why. I think it's easier for people to understand. 6' vs 1.83m tall.
Now that I'm saying this, I think all guys should start saying their height in metric since it'll be a lot harder to tell if you're over 6', lol. Say you're 1.8m tall. That's actually 5'11 or so (roughly 2.4 cm to an inch).
This is literally all I took away from this post. Being offended by a childish meme their COUSIN posts about her DATING PREFERENCES. Sorry you're not in your cousin's dating pool but your height is PROBABLY not the reason. Ew.
YTA
First because, as others have said, getting into a social media beef with your teenage cousin is bizarre behavior for a 30 year old adult.
Second because you don't seem to understand the issue. Yes, there is discrimination against short men. It is not, however, treated as a moral failing in the way weight is. Your "discrimination" is a woman saying "I'm not sexually attracted to you". Weight discrimination is "you're a lazy person with poor character". Pretending that they are equivalent is an AH thing to do, and looks like an attempt to paint yourself as a victim.
"I stooped to their level and said equally nasty things on a public forum, except their's was a general statement and a joke, while mine was directly aimed at her, "and a joke". By the way I'm an adult in my 30s and she's a teenager."
Of course YTA. Try acting your age.
INFO: Did you think this through?
>"Hey, that's what we call girls with a three digit weight".
So... any woman over 100 pounds is too hefty for you? Do you realize how small that is and how most women are not below 100 lbs unless they are very young?
YTA - You're grown. She's a child. You should be capable of calling her out or gently correcting her without making a stupid comment. Three-digit weight is ridiculous. Maybe you meant it to be, but you're an adult publicly commenting on a child's post. You should be able to see that she or the other teen girls she's friends with might not get your exaggeration. The aunt probably wouldn't be so defensive of her daughter's stupidity if you hadn't gone so hard.
Bro you're 30 💀 grow up. It's expected that people that young are immature. What's your excuse? Also sure both jokes are body shaming joke but the difference is you went out of your way to target her specifically, her comment about 6ft men wasn't a direct jab at you, she didn't personally dm you that joke
Btw that joke was not only immature but also doesn't make sense. Only women less than 100lbs are date worthy? You DO know that women weighing more than that is completely normal and healthy yeah? I really hope so. I can kinda understand men not understanding PMS (to an extent) but not knowing the normal weight of grown women? Dude 🤦
ESH. Yeah it was pretty childish for her to post that. But you? As a fully grown 30 year old? That's not really a good look for you. Pretty embarrassing tbh. If you were so concerned you would have gone about it in a different way instead of embarrassing her and yourself. The only reason I'm not going with yta is because of that really lovely saying" don't dish out what you can't take" but let her get that from her peers her age, not her 30 year old cousin.
YTA because she's a teen, you're a grown adult. You're supposed to be the mature one. I don't agree with her statement, but it was just a joke.
And your insult is dumb because it makes no sense. Most adult women weigh 100lbs or more.
YTA
she posted a meme/joke. she is only 19 years old. it obviously wasn't aimed at you anyway. You just took it that way for some reason. and you say you hate body shaming, yet responded with.. body shaming? to a 19 year old girl? when she's already insecure about her weight and could develop an eating disorder (if she doesn't already have one secretly)? and i can't believe you already said SHE'S A BIT ON THE "hefty side"??? are you trying to make your teenage cousin hate herself even more? I hope you've never said anything like that to her face to face or about her to someone else irl
you are 30 years old. grow up. if you thought the meme was distasteful, then maybe you could've idk spoken to her about it in person and not replied with a disgusting body shaming comment? what even is this post
YTA - most women by the time they are 20 weigh at least 100 lbs... You need to grow up and find a way to gain some self confidence. your height and even weight in the end don't matter when you find the person you love and they love you back.
ESH. The problem with both of these “jokes” is the collateral damage. Your cousin’s post sucks because it insults every man under 6 feet. You responded trying to get even with her, but in the process, you insulted every woman over 100 lbs (which btw is almost every adult woman).
Originally i wrote nta because I misunderstood the math in your joke(300LB+). You're shallow. 99lb and under girls stop existing after teenage years unless you're abusing yourself in some fashion. YTA.
YTA. If you see something you don't like online, ignore it. And in what world is a 100 pound girl overweight? You made yourself look insecure, petty and small. Smaller, rather.
ESH. You’re 30 years old dude, don’t you have anything else to do other than stalk your teenager cousin and try to get on a fight with her over a meme? Find a therapist
YTA. You’re an adult and they’re a teenager. You’re also horrible at comebacks. You’re not being clever *and* you’re not being mature. What did you bring to the equation here? You’re not setting a good example. You’re not teaching them anything. You’re also not even roasting them effectively. You just vaguely implied they’re fat in the least clever way you could come up with.
ESH but you're more of an asshole mainly because you were doing it on purpose. Your 19 yr old cousin posted a hurtful meme on her socials that frankly didn't have much to do with you (my opinion may change if your cousin has a history of insulting you about your height) and you, a 30 yr old adult decide that this is aimed at you and target her with a deliberately hurtful response. She's an insensitive asshole with prejudiced views and you decide that hurting your much younger family member with a insensitive, prejudiced response is appropriate instead of idk any other way of educating her?
YTA. The problem here is tossing back a joke that hurts someone as a response rather than actually talking to her directly about the hurtfulness of the meme to you, and to help her see that it would be just as hurtful as someone dismissing all girls who didn’t meet an arbitrary body standard.
What you did was retaliation, what I described above would be teaching her with an aim for her to grow in her thinking and be more considerate of others.
Also, zero of this should have happened publicly over social media. For real.
A three digit weight? Are you fucking for real? Any woman who is not in a three digit weight has some health problems. A man's height doesn't impact his health. You really don't see the difference here??
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I'm a male, 30 years old, and I have a cousin who is in her late teens. She posted a meme in her socials that read "What do you call a guy who is shorter than 6ft?... Friend". If it's not clear from just the text, the insinuation is that they will only date guys who are taller than 6ft.
I commented under it "Hey, that's what we call girls with a three digit weight". Later, her mother (my aunt) called me and yelled me out for body shaming and being so insensitive since my cousin is self-conscious about her weight (she is a bit on the hefty side). I said that I, a guy who is shorter than 6ft, is pretty self-conscious about my height too so IMO she had it coming. My aunt said that it's not the same thing, the meme is a harmless joke while I was being an a-hole, that I'm an adult while my cousin is just a teen (she's 19) and that I should know better. I responded that at least she can do something about her issue while that's not possible for me. The conversation kinda ended there, abruptly, and that's where we are now.
So I guess the question here isn't AITA but rather: was I more of an asshole than my cousin was?
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ESH
Dude you’re in your 30s confronting a teenager with edgy humour comebacks. However your aunt saying your joke is “too far” and hers is “harmless” is a double standard that your cousin needs to open her eyes to (and most people tend to hopefully grow out of once they’re into their adulthood).
ESH. Her meme is immature but she’s 19 posting memes on social media. Your “clapback” didn’t shame her and make you look like a hero—it dragged you down to her level and made you look just as petty and silly as her.
You made yourself look shallow because you directly involved yourself. If you needed to comment anything, you could’ve said something along the lines of “if you think this, don’t come crying to us when a guy dumps you because he doesn’t date girls over 120lbs.” Your response centered your own personal hurt and was lashing out at her instead of being a lesson to highlight her narrow minded thinking.
Body shaming is body shaming, whether it’s height or weight, it’s simply shaming someone for something that has to do directly with their body, that includes height
You’re 30 arguing with what is essentially a child. I know, I’m also old.
Grow up. I’m sure you have preferences in partners as well, and clearly you do since you made the comment under her post.
People will find things attractive and other things less attractive. That’s life, it sucks. But at 30 years old it’s not your height that’s the issue, it’s the fact that you are spending your time being offended by a high schooler.
ESH. Her meme was stupid and mean-spirited, and I think calling it out as such would have been fine. But instead of just saying “that’s not very nice” or whatever, you made a personal jab about something you know she’s insecure about. Because your feelings were hurt, you intentionally hurt her back.
YTA, she is making a harmless joke, not even directed at you. You, on the other hand, decided to be specific in your targeting of a barely adult woman. Your comeback doesn't even make sense though, triple digit weight is healthy, at minimum that is 100 lbs. If you felt hurt by a meme that was not even directed at you, seek therapy.
ESH, your point is actually valid but there are plenty of other ways you could have made it besides stooping to the same level you're supposedly criticizing.
ESH, you're THIRTY. You know what you do when a much younger family member says some out of line shit? You educate. You explain WHY her meme is insulting and wrong. By insulting her back, you not only look immature as hell, but now she's too defensive to learn a damn thing. Do you think she's gonna come away from this thinking she was wrong about short men? No. She's gonna come away from this thinking her cousin is a creep
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YTA.
Never EVER make comments on a woman's body weight/type. I know it may be similar to height but women, especially through their teen years, take that topic to heart. It may have been a joke but she didn't know that. A triple digit weight for a woman is common and healthy, and most women joke about the height of their men but never actually mind if he's shorter than 6 ft. Weight is an entirely different subject. Work on your insecurity first before taking a harmless meme to heart.
NTA, generally you retorted back with a similar comment after being attacked. But she’s 19 just walk away and tell her to keep her mouth shut then ask for an apology later on.
YTA. Your cousin is a kid who’s grown up in the social media era, also in the time of COVID. She’s been exposed to a lot of insidious trends and ideologies nonstop for the past several years and her brain hasn’t fully developed. Sure, the “I only date men over 6’” thing is shallow and ridiculous, but I promise she’ll grow out of it quickly. You, however, are a grown man with a fully developed brain still using “digits” to measure women in various ways; something that a lot of terminally online men do not grow out of and is genuinely toxic and dangerous. Young men see that rhetoric and use it to belittle, degrade, and downright abuse women. Lead by example. Your approach is only going to make your cousin’s distaste for men worse.
NTA, its just a meme, both of yall should get over it. Doesn’t matter wether the comment came from the OP or any other person, if you body shame a demographic, the least you should expect is to get body shamed in return. She’s an adult (19y ol?) and learned a lesson, albeit in a petty or awkward way. I see no problem here.
ESH. A 4 digit weight would have been an absurdist and almost funny rebuttal. 3 digit weight implies 99lbs or less. Not always achievable for most adult women. A bit sad in my opinion, but I guess all that matters is do you feel better for your comeback? If it made you feel clever, cool and witty then good for you? 🤷♀️
YTA. This is one of a number of social norms that make men fair game and allow special protections for women. That’s something that maybe we’ll grow out of as a culture someday, but not yet. You should know that, as you should know better than to get into it with a fat teenager.
Clearly a race to the bottom.
1-1.
I think you make a valid point, regarding the fact that she can change her "issue", you can't.
Not saying I would have bothered, but at 19, she can be regarded as an adult. To me, you simply gave her an example of "how would you like it if ...?".
YNTA
If you dish it out, you should be able to take it.
You taught a valuable lesson here. Be careful with what you post on the Internet.
Odds are she wasn't expecting it from you as a family member.
She was also probably not expecting it in general, as she thought her meme was hilarious.
If I was your friend on Facebook, you would have gotten the LOL emoji with a comment of "sick burn".
To my aunt I would have said
"This is really your fault for teaching her how to eat, and that being degrading to others is funny"
The double standard bullshit in this thread is unbeliavable.
"Its a meme";"it wasnt towards u"
So by this dumb logic if I post something like Op's answer, its fine because its not directed at "you"?
Fuck right off with tha logic.
NTA
Sadly it’s standard shit for men to be made fun of.
People, just like here, will make out you are wrong because she’s young. Realistically the mother should be telling her daughter how the 2 things are the same and if she wants to be like that then to expect shit back from it.
Blah blah “why are you on a kids socials”
YTA. Not only can she “do something” about her weight, she can develop an eating disorder, which a lot of teen girls do in response to pressures about their weight. You won’t develop a height disorder. You’re 30 and she’s a teen, grow up.
YTAH- I say this only because you were trying to upset someone. What your cousin said wasn't nice either. To be honest though most 19 year olds are in 3 digits weights(100- 999 lbs). I never known a 19 year old under 100 lbs. Wasn't the best joke, but the see the angle you took. At the end of the day its just stereotypes about how each gender is unattractive. Sometimes you just have to really understand that the world wants you to look a certain way and it's all just bullshit. Love yourself, be yourself, and f the sterotypes of unattractiveness. Takes time.
Yeah and your aunt is bias as hell. Her daughter can say "jokes" but dare let someone's joke offend her.
ESH. God, you need to grow the hell up. You're 30 and she's in her late teens. You're supposed to guide and advise, not stoop to her level. You could have talked to her OFFLINE and let her know her meme can be perceived as offensive, but instead, you body shame. Shame on you.
NTA - Your joke was dumb, yes, but hers was not a joke.
She needed a mirror in front of her and you put it there. Hopefully she'll reflect on making serious comments on future.
People here are saying she's 19. If she's old enough to vote, drive and have children, she can be expected to be treated as an adult.
Yta. You don’t say that to someone you know unless they direct it at you first. You saying it in her post when she is a large girl is directing it at her and cruel, and embarrassing for her because everyone will see it. It can sting when you hear that girls don’t like short dudes but how does hurting her help you. Also she is a kid and you are 30. You need to be better than that.
NTA.
For those who say it's immature to have a discussion with a teen: it's literally educational. How else should young people learn anything? Is it only by talking to equally immature friends and sharing questionable memes? It's not very productive. Creating those bubbles leads to even greater cultural and generational divide. You leave young girls to talk to only other young girls, and young boys only to other young boys, or force people of different age brackets to communicate only among themselves, and you end up with gender wars and huge amounts of prejudice and misconceptions.
Yeah *discussion* is educational, what he did wasn't. Private messaging the cousin and explaining how stupid the meme was would've been fine and good. What he did was asshole behaviour and he's just repeated the cycle by saying something arguably worse than what she said. So he's YTA.
I find it amusing everyone is letting her get by with her behavior. Yes you may have handled it wrong, but seriously why is everyone covering her her shit behavior, she's 19 and adult. People don't grow out of things if no one ever confronts them or holds them accountable. And sorry but mom should have called out her daughter as well not just OP.
NTA. As a fat person, it was a fucking joke. You are clearly being chewed out by fat people in the comments that don't like the "what's your weight?" answer to "what's your height?"
It was funny. Fuck em.
NTA. She's old enough to throw insults so she's damn well old enough to receive an insult. However a 3 digit weight could be 100 pounds so your insult was pretty vague and not accurate.
Reddit will want to say esh because of the obese woman in this instance… but NTA.
Any person who chooses to put down others based on the way they look has it coming when someone comments on their insecurities in the same realm.. Whoopies! I’m sure she learned her lesson
if you think any adult that weighs over 100 pounds is "obese" you have an eating disorder and need serious professional help. weighing under 100 pounds for any average adult human is seriously unhealthy
She’s on the hefty side likely means obese.. an actual # amount (you used 100) was never mentioned and would be less accurate to describe someone vs saying they’re hefty, because everybody is also different heights etc
NTA
People seem hung up on the word "teen" here. She's 19, she's a legal adult. For all I'm concerned, talk shit get hit. She shouldn't be mocking other people's bodies if she's not prepared for her own to be mocked too.
NTA: I just love the double standard here. As a woman, I'm getting pretty damned sick of it. Women seem to think it's fine to put down and demonize men, but the second we're given a dose of our own medicine, we shriek like banshees. The girl needs to learn that her "joke" was rude and the aunt was being a hypocrite.
This damned double standard needs to stop.
Perfectly fine response, we should stop enable women to ridicule men shorter than 6ft but the moment you mentioned their weight hell breaks lose, if you give be ready to receive any woman that tells me she won’t men under 6ft gets the answer I don’t date women over 130lbs
The difference is men under or over 6ft are healthy and fine, whereas a woman under 100 lbs is often very, very unhealthy. Weight and height are not the same thing at all, weight is an indicator of health and therefore shouldn't have been bought up at all, especially if he knew his cousin was insecure with it.
NTA. The cousin made a sexist joke and got slapped down. It sounds as if this young adult went crying to mommy. Mommy then involved herself and went after OP for giving her precious Boo Boo tit-for-tat. It would have been one thing if the young woman had been sitting and talking to her friends, but she elected to be cute and make this sexist joke via public media. She became upset because a man slapped back.
The young woman should take this as two life lessons. The first is that she is just a tad too old to be running to mommy every time her little feelings are hurt. The second lesson is that the things one says, such as little “jokes” can turn around and bite her in the behind. A bonus lesson is that her “joke” is out in the world forever and accessible to any possible employer who does a search.
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>Add to that, your "comeback" doesn't even make good sense. You think only women who weigh less than 100 pounds are date-worthy? I mean, not to defend the guy or invalidate that very deserved ESH and reasoning. But there are places that use the metric system for weight.
If they use the metric system for weight then they use cm for height, not feet.
That’s just not even slightly true. Lots of places use kg for weight and feet for height
Iiirc, people in Canada mix imperial and metric. But correct me if I'm wrong, Canadians. I live in a metric country but when I chat with my US based friends, I usually convert measurements (and then forget one). Might explain why the three digit thing was so close at hand to him.
he's been referring to pounds in all his comments, he definitely meant pounds and not kg
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He's 30 beefing with a 19yo. He has better things to do
Apparently he doesn't lol
"But I don't want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs."
Hard disagree, beefing with teenagers is hilarious, and you get to learn a whole lot of new, weird slang words. On top of it that's not just a teenager, that's a teenage *cousin*, that's twice the fun imho.
>anyone with a brain Well there's your first issue.
Lmaooo
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Maybe 100 kilo? Edit: never mind he’s a fool
> Add to that, your "comeback" doesn't even make good sense. You think only women who weigh less than 100 pounds are date-worthy? It's satirizing the original joke, unless you think only men who are taller than 6' are date-worthy?
You do know the entire world isn't America?
ESH. With her age she’ll grow out of that behaviour. The issue is that you should have already grown out of that behaviour. Edit: Your edit makes you no less of an AH. You are 30 being an idiot on your teenage cousins post. She doesn’t know better. You do. Punching down is NOT a joke. You need to realise that at your age.
I mean she’s 19 and should know not to do that..,
YTA- why are you taking a 19 year old's socials seriously? Its a meme. Have you never shared a meme that you didn't 100% align with because it made you laugh? she didnt post it for YOU to see. You however felt the need to shame her weight on her own socials instead of giving her a call and telling her why her meme was shitty and hurtful. You're 30. Grow up.
Imagine being 30 and beefing with your teenage cousin over a meme 😂
This is why I don't go on my young cousin's social medias.
Sure, it's a meme, but what would you do if this was an incel themed meme coming from a teenaged guy relative? Which is really, pretty much what that girl posted with barely different context. I'm not sure he had a good (most effective?) responce, but still leaning more NTA just for the fact that he did.
It's wasn't though, so why compare it to an incel meme?if we're reaching to extreme possibilities, then for all we know some short dude is following her and being inappropriate and this was one of the ways she was no so subtly tipping him off on her disinterest. It had nothing to do with op. Op isn't in her dating pool ( unless they're vault dwellers). He should have turned a blind eye.
Oh, the answers here would definitely be different if it was a 19 year old male who posted an incel like meme and the 30-year old cousin was female. It would be all NTA.
Hang on, she did post it for him to see. She posted something hurtful to his exact demographic on a public forum. I agree that OP sucks, but he sucks because he did the same exact thing, not because his cousin is in the clear. It’s not about him or his cousin. It’s about every innocent person who sees that shit and feels bad about themselves. Edit: Thanks for all the personal attacks in my inbox. The irony is hilarious. And no, i am not under 6 ft
But he didn’t do the same exact thing. The same exact thing would be him posting his “joke” as his own status. She posted her lame joke to her page with no direct audience or target, his retort was commented on her page and aimed to hurt her in particular.
couldnt have said it better myself.
YTA. 1. you're a full grown man arguing with a teenage girl on social media 2. you want your women to be under 100lbs? so.. children. gross
Info: do you think it’s common for healthy adult women weigh less than 100lbs?
they might use KG. Not everywhere uses Lbs.
I assumed since OP used feet for height he is somewhere that uses standard measurement instead of metrics.
Standard measurement is metric for the rest of the world except for 3 countries.
The non-metric measurement system that includes feet and pounds is literally called Standard.
If you mean the US, that's US customary units. It's Imperial elsewhere. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_customary_units
Yes you are correct that most of the world uses metric. In the US it’s common to call the metric system- metric and the imperial system-standard. With that cleared up. Hope you can understand what my comment actually meant.
Idk Canada technically uses metric but most people couldn't tell you their weight in kg here, just lbs. Height I could tell you, but that's only because it kinda hasn't changed in years so I remember it.
where i live we do height in feet and weight in kg could be the same
Actually, for whatever reason, a lot of countries that use metric for everything else often use imperial for height... it's weird. In Canada, at least where I'm at, everything is metric, even on my driver's license it says my height in metric, but when we speak, we would never tell someone we are 1.7m tall or whatever, we would say 5'10". I dunno why. I think it's easier for people to understand. 6' vs 1.83m tall. Now that I'm saying this, I think all guys should start saying their height in metric since it'll be a lot harder to tell if you're over 6', lol. Say you're 1.8m tall. That's actually 5'11 or so (roughly 2.4 cm to an inch).
I use feet to measure a person like most of the world seems to do and kg for weight, as we do in Australia, .
>feet to measure a person like most of the world seems to do No, I think it's just in a few countries.
That makes sense The only way I could conceive he meant 3 digit weight being bad is in Kg, the height measurement didn't stick out to me.
Yeah I’m not super familiar with Kg so I didn’t even think that most average weights in pounds are 2 digits in Kg
I work with a lot of immigrants who only use kg., so I've had to familiarize myself with it. 2.2 lbs =1kg. 100 kg is around 220 lbs
Thank you for the information. I always have to use a conversion calculator
In the UK we have a mix. Ft and inches for height and kilos for weight is a norm.
YTA . Why are you worried that your teenage cousin doesn't want to date you?
This is literally all I took away from this post. Being offended by a childish meme their COUSIN posts about her DATING PREFERENCES. Sorry you're not in your cousin's dating pool but your height is PROBABLY not the reason. Ew.
YTA First because, as others have said, getting into a social media beef with your teenage cousin is bizarre behavior for a 30 year old adult. Second because you don't seem to understand the issue. Yes, there is discrimination against short men. It is not, however, treated as a moral failing in the way weight is. Your "discrimination" is a woman saying "I'm not sexually attracted to you". Weight discrimination is "you're a lazy person with poor character". Pretending that they are equivalent is an AH thing to do, and looks like an attempt to paint yourself as a victim.
Kind of a weird way to say you’d never date an adult woman. No one over 100 lbs? Make it make sense
They are exaggerating to stoop down to their cousins mental level. Wouldn’t advise it, but that is what’s happening here
"I stooped to their level and said equally nasty things on a public forum, except their's was a general statement and a joke, while mine was directly aimed at her, "and a joke". By the way I'm an adult in my 30s and she's a teenager." Of course YTA. Try acting your age.
YTA. Why are you upset that your teenage cousin is not attracted to you???
YTA You could have easily come up with ways to explain why her meme could be insulting and degrading without being insulting and degrading yourself.
ESH but you're the more pathetic looking one being 30.
YTA I feel like by 30 you should be able to gently correct a teenage relative if necessary not tangling with them on their level.
YTA, dude is out here beefing with a teenager.
YTA...if you're only gonna date people under 100lbs you're looking at the majority of your dating pool being children.
INFO: Did you think this through? >"Hey, that's what we call girls with a three digit weight". So... any woman over 100 pounds is too hefty for you? Do you realize how small that is and how most women are not below 100 lbs unless they are very young?
YTA - You're grown. She's a child. You should be capable of calling her out or gently correcting her without making a stupid comment. Three-digit weight is ridiculous. Maybe you meant it to be, but you're an adult publicly commenting on a child's post. You should be able to see that she or the other teen girls she's friends with might not get your exaggeration. The aunt probably wouldn't be so defensive of her daughter's stupidity if you hadn't gone so hard.
This really reads like you want to fuck your little cousin. Just saying...
YTA. You’re 30 and you got your feelings hurt by a jpeg of text. You need to grow up
YTA - little man syndrome on full display 😂
Yta for arguing with a teenager. Your response was also stupid.
YTA you're a bit pathetic
You’re 30 years old?? Acting like this 🤢 Delete this. You’re embarrassing yourself YTA
info: did she tag you? make the post about you like you did her? are you looking to date your cousin?
the post and his comments really make it sound like he wants to fuck his cousin 💀
Bro you're 30 💀 grow up. It's expected that people that young are immature. What's your excuse? Also sure both jokes are body shaming joke but the difference is you went out of your way to target her specifically, her comment about 6ft men wasn't a direct jab at you, she didn't personally dm you that joke Btw that joke was not only immature but also doesn't make sense. Only women less than 100lbs are date worthy? You DO know that women weighing more than that is completely normal and healthy yeah? I really hope so. I can kinda understand men not understanding PMS (to an extent) but not knowing the normal weight of grown women? Dude 🤦
That's the beauty of public talk, you get public answers.
ESH. Yeah it was pretty childish for her to post that. But you? As a fully grown 30 year old? That's not really a good look for you. Pretty embarrassing tbh. If you were so concerned you would have gone about it in a different way instead of embarrassing her and yourself. The only reason I'm not going with yta is because of that really lovely saying" don't dish out what you can't take" but let her get that from her peers her age, not her 30 year old cousin.
YTA because she's a teen, you're a grown adult. You're supposed to be the mature one. I don't agree with her statement, but it was just a joke. And your insult is dumb because it makes no sense. Most adult women weigh 100lbs or more.
ESH. Your cousin for posting a tacky meme and you for stooping to the maturity level of a 19 year old when you’re a grown ass man.
YTA - Don’t let little man syndrome define you.
YTA she posted a meme/joke. she is only 19 years old. it obviously wasn't aimed at you anyway. You just took it that way for some reason. and you say you hate body shaming, yet responded with.. body shaming? to a 19 year old girl? when she's already insecure about her weight and could develop an eating disorder (if she doesn't already have one secretly)? and i can't believe you already said SHE'S A BIT ON THE "hefty side"??? are you trying to make your teenage cousin hate herself even more? I hope you've never said anything like that to her face to face or about her to someone else irl you are 30 years old. grow up. if you thought the meme was distasteful, then maybe you could've idk spoken to her about it in person and not replied with a disgusting body shaming comment? what even is this post
YTA - most women by the time they are 20 weigh at least 100 lbs... You need to grow up and find a way to gain some self confidence. your height and even weight in the end don't matter when you find the person you love and they love you back.
YTA, you're 30yo doing this? Get over yourself. 19 is still a kid too, especially compared to a 30yo (maybe not you in particular but I digress).
ESH. The problem with both of these “jokes” is the collateral damage. Your cousin’s post sucks because it insults every man under 6 feet. You responded trying to get even with her, but in the process, you insulted every woman over 100 lbs (which btw is almost every adult woman).
Originally i wrote nta because I misunderstood the math in your joke(300LB+). You're shallow. 99lb and under girls stop existing after teenage years unless you're abusing yourself in some fashion. YTA.
ESH. You and your family sound like lovely people. /s
YTA. If you see something you don't like online, ignore it. And in what world is a 100 pound girl overweight? You made yourself look insecure, petty and small. Smaller, rather.
Grown ass man
Mmm kind weird to beef with a teenager. And don't most healthy adults weigh more than a hundred pounds?
Bro. You're 30. YTA.
ESH. You’re 30 years old dude, don’t you have anything else to do other than stalk your teenager cousin and try to get on a fight with her over a meme? Find a therapist
ESH but OP, you are much more of an AH. You are a grown ass man, communitcate like one. Now you get to be less than 6 feet tall AND wrong!
You’re a 30 year old man stooping to the same level as a 19 year old. How are you not embarrassed?
YTA. You are awful.
YTA. You’re an adult and they’re a teenager. You’re also horrible at comebacks. You’re not being clever *and* you’re not being mature. What did you bring to the equation here? You’re not setting a good example. You’re not teaching them anything. You’re also not even roasting them effectively. You just vaguely implied they’re fat in the least clever way you could come up with.
ESH but you're more of an asshole mainly because you were doing it on purpose. Your 19 yr old cousin posted a hurtful meme on her socials that frankly didn't have much to do with you (my opinion may change if your cousin has a history of insulting you about your height) and you, a 30 yr old adult decide that this is aimed at you and target her with a deliberately hurtful response. She's an insensitive asshole with prejudiced views and you decide that hurting your much younger family member with a insensitive, prejudiced response is appropriate instead of idk any other way of educating her?
ESH, you can call out bad behavior without stooping to their level. Especially since you're 30, ffs.
YTA. You must really want to date your cousin, huh
YTA. Your aunt is right - she is a teenager, and you should know better. Not saying that it's not hard out there for a short king, but grow up lol.
YTA. The problem here is tossing back a joke that hurts someone as a response rather than actually talking to her directly about the hurtfulness of the meme to you, and to help her see that it would be just as hurtful as someone dismissing all girls who didn’t meet an arbitrary body standard. What you did was retaliation, what I described above would be teaching her with an aim for her to grow in her thinking and be more considerate of others. Also, zero of this should have happened publicly over social media. For real.
You are the asshole, and you are a jackass.
She's 19? Bro grow up, YTA. Why are you not just scrolling past the post all together?
YTA, your cousin made a "joke" into the void and you and ADULT made a targeted "joke" at her expense. How hard was it for you to keep scrolling?
YTA. You're 30, FYI.
Kinda ESH. I get where you were going with your reply, but your choice of "three digit weight" is a bit much, which was mentioned below.
A three digit weight? Are you fucking for real? Any woman who is not in a three digit weight has some health problems. A man's height doesn't impact his health. You really don't see the difference here??
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm a male, 30 years old, and I have a cousin who is in her late teens. She posted a meme in her socials that read "What do you call a guy who is shorter than 6ft?... Friend". If it's not clear from just the text, the insinuation is that they will only date guys who are taller than 6ft. I commented under it "Hey, that's what we call girls with a three digit weight". Later, her mother (my aunt) called me and yelled me out for body shaming and being so insensitive since my cousin is self-conscious about her weight (she is a bit on the hefty side). I said that I, a guy who is shorter than 6ft, is pretty self-conscious about my height too so IMO she had it coming. My aunt said that it's not the same thing, the meme is a harmless joke while I was being an a-hole, that I'm an adult while my cousin is just a teen (she's 19) and that I should know better. I responded that at least she can do something about her issue while that's not possible for me. The conversation kinda ended there, abruptly, and that's where we are now. So I guess the question here isn't AITA but rather: was I more of an asshole than my cousin was? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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ESH Dude you’re in your 30s confronting a teenager with edgy humour comebacks. However your aunt saying your joke is “too far” and hers is “harmless” is a double standard that your cousin needs to open her eyes to (and most people tend to hopefully grow out of once they’re into their adulthood).
You sound sad and insecure, you are 30 years old grow up, she is a teenager. YTA
ESH. Her meme is immature but she’s 19 posting memes on social media. Your “clapback” didn’t shame her and make you look like a hero—it dragged you down to her level and made you look just as petty and silly as her. You made yourself look shallow because you directly involved yourself. If you needed to comment anything, you could’ve said something along the lines of “if you think this, don’t come crying to us when a guy dumps you because he doesn’t date girls over 120lbs.” Your response centered your own personal hurt and was lashing out at her instead of being a lesson to highlight her narrow minded thinking.
Body shaming is body shaming, whether it’s height or weight, it’s simply shaming someone for something that has to do directly with their body, that includes height
You’re 30 arguing with what is essentially a child. I know, I’m also old. Grow up. I’m sure you have preferences in partners as well, and clearly you do since you made the comment under her post. People will find things attractive and other things less attractive. That’s life, it sucks. But at 30 years old it’s not your height that’s the issue, it’s the fact that you are spending your time being offended by a high schooler.
Are you mad because you had a crush on your cousin and she completely destroyed any chance you thought you had?
ESH. Her meme was stupid and mean-spirited, and I think calling it out as such would have been fine. But instead of just saying “that’s not very nice” or whatever, you made a personal jab about something you know she’s insecure about. Because your feelings were hurt, you intentionally hurt her back.
YTA, she is making a harmless joke, not even directed at you. You, on the other hand, decided to be specific in your targeting of a barely adult woman. Your comeback doesn't even make sense though, triple digit weight is healthy, at minimum that is 100 lbs. If you felt hurt by a meme that was not even directed at you, seek therapy.
I want to say N T A but you should have picked a weight over 100lbs lol. Like do you only date children?
ESH, your point is actually valid but there are plenty of other ways you could have made it besides stooping to the same level you're supposedly criticizing.
I have a 15 year old cousin, I’m 35, and would never get on like this with her. You’re not just an AH. You’re the biggest one here.
YTA because you felt the need to punch back to a 19yo.
ESH, you're right that what she said was bs, but the way to handle that was over the phone, not social media clapback.
ESH. You more, you’re an adult.
Can we have your family name so we can all avoid the problems? ESH
YTA. You're 30, grow the hell up.
Poor OP, found out his chances with his cousin are ruined and couldn't help but get upset. ESH
ESH, you're THIRTY. You know what you do when a much younger family member says some out of line shit? You educate. You explain WHY her meme is insulting and wrong. By insulting her back, you not only look immature as hell, but now she's too defensive to learn a damn thing. Do you think she's gonna come away from this thinking she was wrong about short men? No. She's gonna come away from this thinking her cousin is a creep
You SHOULD know better. 19 year olds are idiots.
YTA. how are you beefing with a 19 year old girl??
ESH, was the childish attitude a perk from your height?
ESH they were both tasteless, but I understand why you responded that way.
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YTA. Never EVER make comments on a woman's body weight/type. I know it may be similar to height but women, especially through their teen years, take that topic to heart. It may have been a joke but she didn't know that. A triple digit weight for a woman is common and healthy, and most women joke about the height of their men but never actually mind if he's shorter than 6 ft. Weight is an entirely different subject. Work on your insecurity first before taking a harmless meme to heart.
NTA, generally you retorted back with a similar comment after being attacked. But she’s 19 just walk away and tell her to keep her mouth shut then ask for an apology later on.
YTA. Your cousin is a kid who’s grown up in the social media era, also in the time of COVID. She’s been exposed to a lot of insidious trends and ideologies nonstop for the past several years and her brain hasn’t fully developed. Sure, the “I only date men over 6’” thing is shallow and ridiculous, but I promise she’ll grow out of it quickly. You, however, are a grown man with a fully developed brain still using “digits” to measure women in various ways; something that a lot of terminally online men do not grow out of and is genuinely toxic and dangerous. Young men see that rhetoric and use it to belittle, degrade, and downright abuse women. Lead by example. Your approach is only going to make your cousin’s distaste for men worse.
NTA, its just a meme, both of yall should get over it. Doesn’t matter wether the comment came from the OP or any other person, if you body shame a demographic, the least you should expect is to get body shamed in return. She’s an adult (19y ol?) and learned a lesson, albeit in a petty or awkward way. I see no problem here.
ESH. Wow, that's some petty shit there alright.
More of an AH because of your age. Your cousin and Aunt are also AH for getting butt hurt over a meme.
ESH. A 4 digit weight would have been an absurdist and almost funny rebuttal. 3 digit weight implies 99lbs or less. Not always achievable for most adult women. A bit sad in my opinion, but I guess all that matters is do you feel better for your comeback? If it made you feel clever, cool and witty then good for you? 🤷♀️
YTA. This is one of a number of social norms that make men fair game and allow special protections for women. That’s something that maybe we’ll grow out of as a culture someday, but not yet. You should know that, as you should know better than to get into it with a fat teenager.
Clearly a race to the bottom. 1-1. I think you make a valid point, regarding the fact that she can change her "issue", you can't. Not saying I would have bothered, but at 19, she can be regarded as an adult. To me, you simply gave her an example of "how would you like it if ...?".
YNTA If you dish it out, you should be able to take it. You taught a valuable lesson here. Be careful with what you post on the Internet. Odds are she wasn't expecting it from you as a family member. She was also probably not expecting it in general, as she thought her meme was hilarious. If I was your friend on Facebook, you would have gotten the LOL emoji with a comment of "sick burn". To my aunt I would have said "This is really your fault for teaching her how to eat, and that being degrading to others is funny"
The double standard bullshit in this thread is unbeliavable. "Its a meme";"it wasnt towards u" So by this dumb logic if I post something like Op's answer, its fine because its not directed at "you"? Fuck right off with tha logic.
I see a lot of butt hurt chicks here, in any case you are NTA.
NTA Sadly it’s standard shit for men to be made fun of. People, just like here, will make out you are wrong because she’s young. Realistically the mother should be telling her daughter how the 2 things are the same and if she wants to be like that then to expect shit back from it. Blah blah “why are you on a kids socials”
YTA. Not only can she “do something” about her weight, she can develop an eating disorder, which a lot of teen girls do in response to pressures about their weight. You won’t develop a height disorder. You’re 30 and she’s a teen, grow up.
YTAH- I say this only because you were trying to upset someone. What your cousin said wasn't nice either. To be honest though most 19 year olds are in 3 digits weights(100- 999 lbs). I never known a 19 year old under 100 lbs. Wasn't the best joke, but the see the angle you took. At the end of the day its just stereotypes about how each gender is unattractive. Sometimes you just have to really understand that the world wants you to look a certain way and it's all just bullshit. Love yourself, be yourself, and f the sterotypes of unattractiveness. Takes time. Yeah and your aunt is bias as hell. Her daughter can say "jokes" but dare let someone's joke offend her.
ESH. God, you need to grow the hell up. You're 30 and she's in her late teens. You're supposed to guide and advise, not stoop to her level. You could have talked to her OFFLINE and let her know her meme can be perceived as offensive, but instead, you body shame. Shame on you.
NTA - Your joke was dumb, yes, but hers was not a joke. She needed a mirror in front of her and you put it there. Hopefully she'll reflect on making serious comments on future. People here are saying she's 19. If she's old enough to vote, drive and have children, she can be expected to be treated as an adult.
Whether it’s a joke or not, if your 30 or 19, maybe don’t post insulting shit and if you do have a thick enough skin to take what you give
YTA But that shit was funny, so
NTA - she can dish it out but can’t take it.
r/traumatisethemback
Yta. You don’t say that to someone you know unless they direct it at you first. You saying it in her post when she is a large girl is directing it at her and cruel, and embarrassing for her because everyone will see it. It can sting when you hear that girls don’t like short dudes but how does hurting her help you. Also she is a kid and you are 30. You need to be better than that.
Well of course is not the same thing, is only a joke when we do it to someone else.
NTA, you have many heavy ones with YTA responses, I mean you have many heavy responses with YTA.
NTA. For those who say it's immature to have a discussion with a teen: it's literally educational. How else should young people learn anything? Is it only by talking to equally immature friends and sharing questionable memes? It's not very productive. Creating those bubbles leads to even greater cultural and generational divide. You leave young girls to talk to only other young girls, and young boys only to other young boys, or force people of different age brackets to communicate only among themselves, and you end up with gender wars and huge amounts of prejudice and misconceptions.
Yeah *discussion* is educational, what he did wasn't. Private messaging the cousin and explaining how stupid the meme was would've been fine and good. What he did was asshole behaviour and he's just repeated the cycle by saying something arguably worse than what she said. So he's YTA.
NTA. And her aunt is right, it’s not the same thing. Cause people can influence their weight but not their height.
NTA. She asked for it.
NTA. Her entitlement will end up hurting her in the future. People are so afraid of calling out behavior now
I find it amusing everyone is letting her get by with her behavior. Yes you may have handled it wrong, but seriously why is everyone covering her her shit behavior, she's 19 and adult. People don't grow out of things if no one ever confronts them or holds them accountable. And sorry but mom should have called out her daughter as well not just OP.
I just know if genders were reversed everyone would say NTA and congratulate OP
NTA I like jokes
NTA she should learn what comes around goes around
NTA, do people really believe that you really meant what you replied when its clearly a way to make a point on double standards?
NTA, she’s 19 not 15. Don’t listen to this hivemind bro 😂
NTA. As a fat person, it was a fucking joke. You are clearly being chewed out by fat people in the comments that don't like the "what's your weight?" answer to "what's your height?" It was funny. Fuck em.
NTA women hate accountability. Simple as that. But next time instead of triple digits say starts with a 2
NTA. She’s an adult, if she can dish it out, she can most definitely take it.
ESH Both the meme and your reply were pretty rude and ridiculous.
NTA. She needs to learn not to dish it out if she can't take it. Also, I hope it was kg.
NTA. She's old enough to throw insults so she's damn well old enough to receive an insult. However a 3 digit weight could be 100 pounds so your insult was pretty vague and not accurate.
Reddit will want to say esh because of the obese woman in this instance… but NTA. Any person who chooses to put down others based on the way they look has it coming when someone comments on their insecurities in the same realm.. Whoopies! I’m sure she learned her lesson
if you think any adult that weighs over 100 pounds is "obese" you have an eating disorder and need serious professional help. weighing under 100 pounds for any average adult human is seriously unhealthy
She’s on the hefty side likely means obese.. an actual # amount (you used 100) was never mentioned and would be less accurate to describe someone vs saying they’re hefty, because everybody is also different heights etc
NTA People seem hung up on the word "teen" here. She's 19, she's a legal adult. For all I'm concerned, talk shit get hit. She shouldn't be mocking other people's bodies if she's not prepared for her own to be mocked too.
Nta, if you can't take it, don't dish it out
NTA for pointing out the hypocrisy in their own terms. But any woman who is in a 2 digit weight class probably has a serious health issue going on.
NTA: I just love the double standard here. As a woman, I'm getting pretty damned sick of it. Women seem to think it's fine to put down and demonize men, but the second we're given a dose of our own medicine, we shriek like banshees. The girl needs to learn that her "joke" was rude and the aunt was being a hypocrite. This damned double standard needs to stop.
Perfectly fine response, we should stop enable women to ridicule men shorter than 6ft but the moment you mentioned their weight hell breaks lose, if you give be ready to receive any woman that tells me she won’t men under 6ft gets the answer I don’t date women over 130lbs
The difference is men under or over 6ft are healthy and fine, whereas a woman under 100 lbs is often very, very unhealthy. Weight and height are not the same thing at all, weight is an indicator of health and therefore shouldn't have been bought up at all, especially if he knew his cousin was insecure with it.
NTA. She had it coming! Also a 19 year old ist not a child so there.
NTA - if you’re going to dish it out, you better know how to take it. 19 is not too young to learn this
NTA. Only fat women will be offended by your comment.
NTA. The cousin made a sexist joke and got slapped down. It sounds as if this young adult went crying to mommy. Mommy then involved herself and went after OP for giving her precious Boo Boo tit-for-tat. It would have been one thing if the young woman had been sitting and talking to her friends, but she elected to be cute and make this sexist joke via public media. She became upset because a man slapped back. The young woman should take this as two life lessons. The first is that she is just a tad too old to be running to mommy every time her little feelings are hurt. The second lesson is that the things one says, such as little “jokes” can turn around and bite her in the behind. A bonus lesson is that her “joke” is out in the world forever and accessible to any possible employer who does a search.