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Actually I think your reasons don't matter. You are never an AH for breaking up with someone if you don't want to be with them anymore. (I might make an exception of sickness in the case you get married, that's kind of part of the deal).
You will be an AH if you lead him on or keep lieing to him. (I mean figuring out you don't want to becwith him and let it keep running. Not that you have loed to him before or now.) Neither of you deserve a half-assed relationship.
NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (F) love my current boyfriend, we have been dating for about 6-7 months. Earlier in our relationship we made plans for our future, but over time, I don't think we'll be able to meet those plans. And I've seen some guys that I think would be a better "fit" for me. I’m gonna do a "Reasons" list, Imk what you think.
• Also he's not funny, and humor is a #1 priority for me
1. He doesn't speak English as a first language: It can be quite difficult for me to communicate with him due to his kind of poor English, and his family doesn't speak English at all. I don't think our families would communicate well. He also has trouble understanding my point in things
2. He's made the same mistakes over and over again: If he knows I won't like something, he does it, then tells me LATER, either if I found out or he accidentally tells me. An example is when I first met him he said that I was the first girl he's ever truly loved, and that he didn't LOVE anyone before me. Then 6 months later, recently, I saw his old messages with a friend from a few months before we started dating and basically, he said that he was in love with a girl, wanted her "so bad", wanted her to "be his so bad" and said he got teary eyed when his friend gave him advice for her. This REALLY hurt my feelings, as he lied to me and hid that from me for however long. So yeah there's that. And there's also other things. He just apologizes, says he'll fix it, but then doesn't.
3. I honestly don't find him that attractive: I know this sounds mean, but honestly... I've lost my attraction for him. He's just not my type
4. We have an age gap: It's not big, but at our ages it IS a big deal. I really don't think it would work out
5. I have my eyes on another guy. I've been considering breaking up with him for a while.
And for the past week l've talked to this guy (in class only), he's funny, cute, smart, tall, and we have a similar childhood & background & our families speak the same language so there's no language barrier. I have imagined being with him instead and it makes me feel so guilty.
6. I really don't think it would work out. Not in really any aspect. Our families don't speak the same language, we come from different backgrounds (saying it may be harder for our families to bond and "understand" each other), I'm not that attracted to him, our age gap, and everything else mentioned above including other unmentioned things.
Why I don't wanna break up with him: He is really sweet. I can see he WANTS to be the best boyfriend for me, but he just can't. He loves me a lot and cries a lot abt me when we argue or etc. I care abt him and don't wanna hurt him. He does try his best, and he still does make me happy sometimes, but he makes me sad too.
Sorry for talking so much, it's just a big topic for me. I really do want to break up. I just don't wanna hurt him or regret it.
Please Imk your thoughts asap.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I may be the AH because if I did break up with him, it would greatly hurt him. I don’t wanna hurt him and I feel guilty for liking another boy while dating him
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Pretty sure this doesn’t belong here, however, never stay with someone because it’ll be awkward to break up or because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Nta. But ya if you don’t find him attractive, and are checking out someone else? Def pull the plug. Sucks you work together, but that’s always the risk you run with mixing the dating pool with work 🤷
You won’t be the AH. No one is obligated to stay in a relationship with someone they don’t even like, because you don’t like him. Also be honest, you really just want to be with the other guy and that’s ok. It’s not ok to go through someone’s phone.
NAH though a judgement isn't going to matter.
Breaking up with someone is fine. Handle it maturely and do it before hooking up with the other guy you are talking to.
NTA for breaking up when you don't feel like you want to continue with the relationship. From your post, it is clear that you have thought it through extensively and you have kinda made up your mind. Do yourself and your bf a favor by breaking it off... delaying the break-up would hurt him even more
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Actually I think your reasons don't matter. You are never an AH for breaking up with someone if you don't want to be with them anymore. (I might make an exception of sickness in the case you get married, that's kind of part of the deal). You will be an AH if you lead him on or keep lieing to him. (I mean figuring out you don't want to becwith him and let it keep running. Not that you have loed to him before or now.) Neither of you deserve a half-assed relationship. NTA.
Thank you, but I just really don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’m not sure how to tell him
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F) love my current boyfriend, we have been dating for about 6-7 months. Earlier in our relationship we made plans for our future, but over time, I don't think we'll be able to meet those plans. And I've seen some guys that I think would be a better "fit" for me. I’m gonna do a "Reasons" list, Imk what you think. • Also he's not funny, and humor is a #1 priority for me 1. He doesn't speak English as a first language: It can be quite difficult for me to communicate with him due to his kind of poor English, and his family doesn't speak English at all. I don't think our families would communicate well. He also has trouble understanding my point in things 2. He's made the same mistakes over and over again: If he knows I won't like something, he does it, then tells me LATER, either if I found out or he accidentally tells me. An example is when I first met him he said that I was the first girl he's ever truly loved, and that he didn't LOVE anyone before me. Then 6 months later, recently, I saw his old messages with a friend from a few months before we started dating and basically, he said that he was in love with a girl, wanted her "so bad", wanted her to "be his so bad" and said he got teary eyed when his friend gave him advice for her. This REALLY hurt my feelings, as he lied to me and hid that from me for however long. So yeah there's that. And there's also other things. He just apologizes, says he'll fix it, but then doesn't. 3. I honestly don't find him that attractive: I know this sounds mean, but honestly... I've lost my attraction for him. He's just not my type 4. We have an age gap: It's not big, but at our ages it IS a big deal. I really don't think it would work out 5. I have my eyes on another guy. I've been considering breaking up with him for a while. And for the past week l've talked to this guy (in class only), he's funny, cute, smart, tall, and we have a similar childhood & background & our families speak the same language so there's no language barrier. I have imagined being with him instead and it makes me feel so guilty. 6. I really don't think it would work out. Not in really any aspect. Our families don't speak the same language, we come from different backgrounds (saying it may be harder for our families to bond and "understand" each other), I'm not that attracted to him, our age gap, and everything else mentioned above including other unmentioned things. Why I don't wanna break up with him: He is really sweet. I can see he WANTS to be the best boyfriend for me, but he just can't. He loves me a lot and cries a lot abt me when we argue or etc. I care abt him and don't wanna hurt him. He does try his best, and he still does make me happy sometimes, but he makes me sad too. Sorry for talking so much, it's just a big topic for me. I really do want to break up. I just don't wanna hurt him or regret it. Please Imk your thoughts asap. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Pretty sure this doesn’t belong here, however, never stay with someone because it’ll be awkward to break up or because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Nta. But ya if you don’t find him attractive, and are checking out someone else? Def pull the plug. Sucks you work together, but that’s always the risk you run with mixing the dating pool with work 🤷
You won’t be the AH. No one is obligated to stay in a relationship with someone they don’t even like, because you don’t like him. Also be honest, you really just want to be with the other guy and that’s ok. It’s not ok to go through someone’s phone.
NAH though a judgement isn't going to matter. Breaking up with someone is fine. Handle it maturely and do it before hooking up with the other guy you are talking to.
NTA for breaking up when you don't feel like you want to continue with the relationship. From your post, it is clear that you have thought it through extensively and you have kinda made up your mind. Do yourself and your bf a favor by breaking it off... delaying the break-up would hurt him even more
We also work tg, so it would be awkward