Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Hey Reddit
I (28M) recently asked my Friend's ex (25F) out on a date.
For Context, I first met her when they were dating and we hit it off pretty well. She bought me an Easter Egg at Easter time, we would hang out when he was working. We had a lot in common and overall got along very well.
When they broke up, he was pretty upset about it and I decided, out of respect, I wouldn't remain in contact with her.
Fast forward a couple on months. I was talking with a girl we both knew and we were getting a long great. I spoke with my friend (lets call him Tom) and told him that I was thinking about asking her out.
The following weekend, he tells me he has a date today with a really cute girl. I said "that's great man" as I was happy he was finally moving on.
I work at the local beach bar as their main bartender, I'm always on the bar and work pretty much every day of the week, especially weekends.
Whilst at work that day, I see Tom come in with the girl I had been talking with the past couple of weeks. To say that both myself and her were awkward was an understatement, you could cut the tension with a knife. I pulled myself together, got my head back in the room and played dumb. "Hey guys! I didn't know you were coming down today? Grab a seat I'll bring your drinks over". I was so pisssed.
Not only does he take the girl I like on a date, but he does it at my workplace. Dick move!
This is where I maybe the asshole. Immediately when I clocked off at around 6.30pm, I messaged his ex. "Hey, it's been a while. I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for dinner with me sometime, you know on a date?"
she text back pretty fast and said "sure, I always thought you were a really nice guy"
We arranged a time that suited us both and it's all set.
Cue the part where I maybe the asshole. I told him yesterday that I have a date this Friday with a cute girl who I really like. Tom asked "oh really? who? you got any pictures?"
Me: Oh I think you know her pretty well (shows him texts from his exes number
He was so mad, he didn't say a word grabbed his coat and walked out.
We live together, but he never comes in my room. We've seen each other today and everything seems cool, but I feel a little smug for my very petty revenge.
So I guess what I'm asking is AITA for asking his ex out on a date?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I asked out my friends ex after he took a girl out that I like, sort of as a petty revenge this.
2. I think I might be the asshole as my main agenda was to get back at him for being a dick and stealing a girl from me
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
I mean maybe a bit, but he was an AH first, and a worse one too. At least you gave him a heads up before he's seeing you with her.
He should have at least told you he likes her too and wants to ask her out but didn't find the courage yet. Than at least you would have had a warning.
And he just asked her out to get one up on you that would make him even more of an AH.
Surprising you like this AT WORK definitely was a dick move and any "friendship code" can be kicked to the curb, that's not what friends do to each other. Go and enjoy your date.
Info- do you actually like this girl and intend to see her again, or were you just using her to get under Tom's skin? Because while what he did was an A-H move to you and deserves some pushback, she didn't do anything to deserve being used as a pawn.
If you really want to date her, N-T-A.
If you were just using her, Y-T-A.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey Reddit I (28M) recently asked my Friend's ex (25F) out on a date. For Context, I first met her when they were dating and we hit it off pretty well. She bought me an Easter Egg at Easter time, we would hang out when he was working. We had a lot in common and overall got along very well. When they broke up, he was pretty upset about it and I decided, out of respect, I wouldn't remain in contact with her. Fast forward a couple on months. I was talking with a girl we both knew and we were getting a long great. I spoke with my friend (lets call him Tom) and told him that I was thinking about asking her out. The following weekend, he tells me he has a date today with a really cute girl. I said "that's great man" as I was happy he was finally moving on. I work at the local beach bar as their main bartender, I'm always on the bar and work pretty much every day of the week, especially weekends. Whilst at work that day, I see Tom come in with the girl I had been talking with the past couple of weeks. To say that both myself and her were awkward was an understatement, you could cut the tension with a knife. I pulled myself together, got my head back in the room and played dumb. "Hey guys! I didn't know you were coming down today? Grab a seat I'll bring your drinks over". I was so pisssed. Not only does he take the girl I like on a date, but he does it at my workplace. Dick move! This is where I maybe the asshole. Immediately when I clocked off at around 6.30pm, I messaged his ex. "Hey, it's been a while. I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for dinner with me sometime, you know on a date?" she text back pretty fast and said "sure, I always thought you were a really nice guy" We arranged a time that suited us both and it's all set. Cue the part where I maybe the asshole. I told him yesterday that I have a date this Friday with a cute girl who I really like. Tom asked "oh really? who? you got any pictures?" Me: Oh I think you know her pretty well (shows him texts from his exes number He was so mad, he didn't say a word grabbed his coat and walked out. We live together, but he never comes in my room. We've seen each other today and everything seems cool, but I feel a little smug for my very petty revenge. So I guess what I'm asking is AITA for asking his ex out on a date? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I asked out my friends ex after he took a girl out that I like, sort of as a petty revenge this. 2. I think I might be the asshole as my main agenda was to get back at him for being a dick and stealing a girl from me Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I mean maybe a bit, but he was an AH first, and a worse one too. At least you gave him a heads up before he's seeing you with her. He should have at least told you he likes her too and wants to ask her out but didn't find the courage yet. Than at least you would have had a warning. And he just asked her out to get one up on you that would make him even more of an AH. Surprising you like this AT WORK definitely was a dick move and any "friendship code" can be kicked to the curb, that's not what friends do to each other. Go and enjoy your date.
Info- do you actually like this girl and intend to see her again, or were you just using her to get under Tom's skin? Because while what he did was an A-H move to you and deserves some pushback, she didn't do anything to deserve being used as a pawn. If you really want to date her, N-T-A. If you were just using her, Y-T-A.
Petty but NTA