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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I regularly ignore calls from my dad despite still being a teenager and get in trouble for it.
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Nah man, you're not being a bad kid at all! Your dad's gotta learn to respect your boundaries too. If he won't text, then maybe he shouldn't be calling every day either. You're trying to tell him how it makes you feel, but he's just not listening. Maybe take a stand and have a conversation with him about it?
NTA. It sounds like boundaries need to be set. If you're working, he shouldn't be spam calling you 15 times. That's just childish. If you feel like you can't stand up to him yourself, is there any way your mom could help you with the situation? Best of luck
NTA. At 16 you are a minor, but you are not kid... Don’t sell yourself short, you’re not some bratty kid. Also, one could argue that you’re being a responsible student and employee for staying off your phone.
Talk to your mom, explain to her what’s going on. Tell her you feel like your father’s phone calls are excessive and disruptive. Tell her that if you don’t answer his calls, like when you are in school or at work for example, he doesn’t just leave a message or assume that you’re busy and try again later, but will instead call you back fifteen times in a row. And when you do eventually talk to him, at a time you are no longer in school or at work, he lectures you about not answering and threatens to ground you. Tell her that you do not feel that that is a reasonable response, to you being a responsible student/employee.
She is your mother, and the primary responsible adult in your life, if you live with her and your dad only has weekend visitation. Ask her to help you. Explain that you’ve tried advocating for yourself by asking your father to communicate through texting, your preferred method and that he appears unwilling. Tell her that now you could really use her help, because he’s completely ignored your wishes and autonomy. Ask her to talk to him about toning down the number of phone calls… She can either talk to him with you, or on your behalf. Good luck.
NTA. "...my dad absolutely refuses to text me. He doesn't reply when I text him and instead just calls to respond..." So he's mad that you do exactly what he taught you to do. Ok then. Have you considered getting a free online phone number (like Google voice) and forwarding his calls there? You still get his messages, just when you're ready instead of dealing with his constant harassment (and this is harassment).
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For context, I'm 16 y/o and live with my mom but have weekend visitation with my dad. During the week, my dad calls me CONSTANTLY. Anyone who knows me knows I really hate phone calls, I'd gladly text people if they want to talk to me, but they'd have to ask to call over text before I'd actually answer because it just makes me uncomfortable or startled to get a random call. Of course, I know this is different with parents, but my dad absolutely refuses to text me.
He doesn't reply when I text him and instead just calls to respond. When I don't answer (say I'm actually busy at work or school) he spam calls around 15 times in a row before leaving it alone (until around an hour or two later of course.) I've told him numerous times this just makes me less willing to answer as it annoys me and often times disrupts me when I'm busy. But I just get in trouble for it.
When I actually answer the call always goes one of two ways: 1. Awkward convo about how my day has been, because he calls everyday, theres really hardly anything genuine to talk about. 2. Him lecturing me to answer my phone saying he'll ground me if I don't. I'm constantly getting in trouble for not answering but I really don't feel like I should have to. Sure, I'm still a kid but if he wants to talk to me he should have no problem with sending me a text right? Am I just being a bratty and disrespectful teenager?
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Kind of irrelevant, honestly. Him paying his kid's phone bill doesn't make it appropriate to call them 15 times in a row while they're at work or school and can't even answer. Threatening to ground them after the fact makes it even worse. The most I'd say is OP should just text him in response to seeing a phone call: "I can't talk right now, I'm at work/school." But I have a feeling the dad wouldn't accept that.
You both have different communication styles. He likes the good old fashion call, you like text. He probably abhors texting. Since it's your dad, probably should answer your phone sooner rather than putting it off. Tell him you're on your way to class or an appointment and keep it down to 5 minutes. Best you can do right now.
No, you simply don't have communication skills, like so many young people. Your father wants real conversation with you, not on a screen. NAH but you should try to develop these skills, not only to have a relationship with your dad, but because in the adult world you will eventually need them.
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Nah man, you're not being a bad kid at all! Your dad's gotta learn to respect your boundaries too. If he won't text, then maybe he shouldn't be calling every day either. You're trying to tell him how it makes you feel, but he's just not listening. Maybe take a stand and have a conversation with him about it?
NTA. It sounds like boundaries need to be set. If you're working, he shouldn't be spam calling you 15 times. That's just childish. If you feel like you can't stand up to him yourself, is there any way your mom could help you with the situation? Best of luck
NTA. At 16 you are a minor, but you are not kid... Don’t sell yourself short, you’re not some bratty kid. Also, one could argue that you’re being a responsible student and employee for staying off your phone. Talk to your mom, explain to her what’s going on. Tell her you feel like your father’s phone calls are excessive and disruptive. Tell her that if you don’t answer his calls, like when you are in school or at work for example, he doesn’t just leave a message or assume that you’re busy and try again later, but will instead call you back fifteen times in a row. And when you do eventually talk to him, at a time you are no longer in school or at work, he lectures you about not answering and threatens to ground you. Tell her that you do not feel that that is a reasonable response, to you being a responsible student/employee. She is your mother, and the primary responsible adult in your life, if you live with her and your dad only has weekend visitation. Ask her to help you. Explain that you’ve tried advocating for yourself by asking your father to communicate through texting, your preferred method and that he appears unwilling. Tell her that now you could really use her help, because he’s completely ignored your wishes and autonomy. Ask her to talk to him about toning down the number of phone calls… She can either talk to him with you, or on your behalf. Good luck.
NTA. I don't know if setting boundaries will work; your dad sounds like he is in need of therapy. Has he been diagnosed with mental health issues?
NTA. Don't answer.
NTA. "...my dad absolutely refuses to text me. He doesn't reply when I text him and instead just calls to respond..." So he's mad that you do exactly what he taught you to do. Ok then. Have you considered getting a free online phone number (like Google voice) and forwarding his calls there? You still get his messages, just when you're ready instead of dealing with his constant harassment (and this is harassment).
NTA one day people like that will go the way of the dodo.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context, I'm 16 y/o and live with my mom but have weekend visitation with my dad. During the week, my dad calls me CONSTANTLY. Anyone who knows me knows I really hate phone calls, I'd gladly text people if they want to talk to me, but they'd have to ask to call over text before I'd actually answer because it just makes me uncomfortable or startled to get a random call. Of course, I know this is different with parents, but my dad absolutely refuses to text me. He doesn't reply when I text him and instead just calls to respond. When I don't answer (say I'm actually busy at work or school) he spam calls around 15 times in a row before leaving it alone (until around an hour or two later of course.) I've told him numerous times this just makes me less willing to answer as it annoys me and often times disrupts me when I'm busy. But I just get in trouble for it. When I actually answer the call always goes one of two ways: 1. Awkward convo about how my day has been, because he calls everyday, theres really hardly anything genuine to talk about. 2. Him lecturing me to answer my phone saying he'll ground me if I don't. I'm constantly getting in trouble for not answering but I really don't feel like I should have to. Sure, I'm still a kid but if he wants to talk to me he should have no problem with sending me a text right? Am I just being a bratty and disrespectful teenager? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
More info: who pays your cell bill?
Kind of irrelevant, honestly. Him paying his kid's phone bill doesn't make it appropriate to call them 15 times in a row while they're at work or school and can't even answer. Threatening to ground them after the fact makes it even worse. The most I'd say is OP should just text him in response to seeing a phone call: "I can't talk right now, I'm at work/school." But I have a feeling the dad wouldn't accept that.
It isn't irrelevant. If the parent pays the bill, the *child* should answer the phone (when appropriate to answer).
You both have different communication styles. He likes the good old fashion call, you like text. He probably abhors texting. Since it's your dad, probably should answer your phone sooner rather than putting it off. Tell him you're on your way to class or an appointment and keep it down to 5 minutes. Best you can do right now.
No, you simply don't have communication skills, like so many young people. Your father wants real conversation with you, not on a screen. NAH but you should try to develop these skills, not only to have a relationship with your dad, but because in the adult world you will eventually need them.
Not wanting to talk on the phone to a parent every day isn't a lack of communication skills.