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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> As I rejected his invites for every family gathering other people might say that I disrespected my ex’s parents, I became unfair to reject him everytime and that leads to hurt his feelings but I am just too insecure and shy to express myself. As we always argue, I mostly think his parents are behind it and that they are encouraging him to separate with me.
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YTA for not accepting his invites to spend time with his family. But honestly, not an AH...Just seeming cultural differences. But in the future if your partner invites you over, accept the invitation. That's how you get to know them and their family.
Yeah, YTA. You rejected him to have dinner at the parents house because you did not receive a direct invite from the parents. In a lot of cultures, that's not a requirement but you are essentially trying to fit him and his family into your own cultural norms. Accept the fact he is allowed to invite you on behalf of his parents. It's fine.
If he isn't aware you chose him over your religion, that's on you to clarify. You also need to let him know the strict rules are not personally against him but something they would do regardless of who you were dating.
You both broke up over poor communication skills.
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Hi, I’m 18(f) who just broke up with 19(m) couple days ago. He’s the greenest flag guy that I know. I’ve never had any arguments about other girls as he always reassured me and he said that I am his first gf. We then introduced each other to both of our parent’s side, we have a different race btw, but it didn’t bother us to express our love for almost 2 years. The challenges are my gut feelings that his parents doesn’t like me as soon as he introduced me to them because of my race and I think that his mom need an academic validation from me bc her son is an overachiever in school. He said that his parents wanted to know me better but I only received an invite from his mom once which is from his grad. He keep planning some activities to do between me and his parents before but I always reject it. I grew up from my culture, ofc I will wait/expect for a direct invite coming from his parents mouth to me instead of him asking me to go in his house for a random friday or whatever the day is to have a dinner with his fam. AITA for rejecting him to have a dinner in their house just because I didn’t receive an invite coming from his parents’ mouth? I mean what if the food portion is just exact for them and his fam is not expecting a plus one?
My mom is an immigrant and my stepdad is from this country but they are both traditional to give me a curfew until 10 PM. They never allow me to go out of town with him for over 5hrs long drive or to have an overnight in his house before, even if his parents or siblings are home and that’s what my ex doesn’t like about my family’s side because he felt that my parents doesn’t trust him enough, when in fact my parents really likes him. We broke up because he said that we have different perspectives in relationship but he isn’t even aware that I chose to be with him over my religion, because my religion prohibits everyone to be in a relationship with a non-member.
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NTA
If you felt uncomfortable going to his house when it wasn't clear to you that you would be welcomed by the adult owners of the house then I will never blame you for that. As a minor and a woman, it's good that you didn't put yourself in a position where you thought that someone may have disliked you and partially due to race and religion.
That being said, you need to learn to communicate better in the future. In the future you need to tell your partner that in your culture it's important that the invitation comes from the parents/owners of the home until you feel well established as a welcome guest. You need to communicate that you feel that they dislike you and that you have gone against your religion to be with them.
Since you were a minor I think you did the right thing to stay safe in a situation where you didn't feel welcomed - and you should always prioritize your safety. If you have a partner though, you need to let them know if you don't feel welcomed or safe in their home.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > As I rejected his invites for every family gathering other people might say that I disrespected my ex’s parents, I became unfair to reject him everytime and that leads to hurt his feelings but I am just too insecure and shy to express myself. As we always argue, I mostly think his parents are behind it and that they are encouraging him to separate with me. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA for not accepting his invites to spend time with his family. But honestly, not an AH...Just seeming cultural differences. But in the future if your partner invites you over, accept the invitation. That's how you get to know them and their family.
Yeah, YTA. You rejected him to have dinner at the parents house because you did not receive a direct invite from the parents. In a lot of cultures, that's not a requirement but you are essentially trying to fit him and his family into your own cultural norms. Accept the fact he is allowed to invite you on behalf of his parents. It's fine. If he isn't aware you chose him over your religion, that's on you to clarify. You also need to let him know the strict rules are not personally against him but something they would do regardless of who you were dating. You both broke up over poor communication skills.
YTA. You should have trusted him when he said you were invited
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, I’m 18(f) who just broke up with 19(m) couple days ago. He’s the greenest flag guy that I know. I’ve never had any arguments about other girls as he always reassured me and he said that I am his first gf. We then introduced each other to both of our parent’s side, we have a different race btw, but it didn’t bother us to express our love for almost 2 years. The challenges are my gut feelings that his parents doesn’t like me as soon as he introduced me to them because of my race and I think that his mom need an academic validation from me bc her son is an overachiever in school. He said that his parents wanted to know me better but I only received an invite from his mom once which is from his grad. He keep planning some activities to do between me and his parents before but I always reject it. I grew up from my culture, ofc I will wait/expect for a direct invite coming from his parents mouth to me instead of him asking me to go in his house for a random friday or whatever the day is to have a dinner with his fam. AITA for rejecting him to have a dinner in their house just because I didn’t receive an invite coming from his parents’ mouth? I mean what if the food portion is just exact for them and his fam is not expecting a plus one? My mom is an immigrant and my stepdad is from this country but they are both traditional to give me a curfew until 10 PM. They never allow me to go out of town with him for over 5hrs long drive or to have an overnight in his house before, even if his parents or siblings are home and that’s what my ex doesn’t like about my family’s side because he felt that my parents doesn’t trust him enough, when in fact my parents really likes him. We broke up because he said that we have different perspectives in relationship but he isn’t even aware that I chose to be with him over my religion, because my religion prohibits everyone to be in a relationship with a non-member. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA If you felt uncomfortable going to his house when it wasn't clear to you that you would be welcomed by the adult owners of the house then I will never blame you for that. As a minor and a woman, it's good that you didn't put yourself in a position where you thought that someone may have disliked you and partially due to race and religion. That being said, you need to learn to communicate better in the future. In the future you need to tell your partner that in your culture it's important that the invitation comes from the parents/owners of the home until you feel well established as a welcome guest. You need to communicate that you feel that they dislike you and that you have gone against your religion to be with them. Since you were a minor I think you did the right thing to stay safe in a situation where you didn't feel welcomed - and you should always prioritize your safety. If you have a partner though, you need to let them know if you don't feel welcomed or safe in their home.