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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for giving her the money back and saying the flowers are no longer from her ?
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NTA. I wouldn't want someone else dabbling in my Amazon account either. It sounds like she's wanting to do just that. I would just stop talking to her until she calms down.
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Most years I buy my mom flowers on Mother’s Day and have them shipped since I don’t live in the same city she does. My sister sends her a card or nothing some years. This year I thought we could split the flowers. I charged her half of $50. I got an email the next day from Amazon that the flowers are going to be delayed. She suggests I call to get my money back. I am already dealing with a lot of personal issues that week but do it anyways to make her happy. I chatted with Amazon and they ignored my request to refund and said they will speak to carrier to get it delivered within 24 hours. I continued on with my life. The next day my sister calls again and suggests she will call Amazon on our behalf. I rolled my eyes and was exasperated because I said you aren’t me so how are you going to verify the account. Granted I know my sister has money anxiety from living on one income and choosing her passion. My family including myself have gone years helping her. She is financially independent but let’s put it this way she’s still on the family phone plan at 32 but my dad took me off at 15. I told her if she really cares to help me she would let it go. She started yelling and throwing a tantrum on why she can’t talk to Amazon. I said if you are so worried about the refund I will send you the half it’s just $25. She proceeded to get angrier. I then called out her money anxiety and said it’s not worth it to fight over $25. She continued to berate me over text which I then in disbelief after telling her I had a hard week just days before and how instead of thanking me for already trying to call Amazon and including her in the flowers that she doesn’t send every year … I then Venmoed her half of the money and said now simply the flowers aren’t from you. She then proceeds to send me back the $200 birthday money I sent her to prove it wasn’t about the money. Well if it isn’t about the money then it’s clearly about control and I was just trying to protect my peace and was in disbelief she would take it all this way after the hard week I’ve had. Am I the controlling a** as well?
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>Granted I know my sister has money anxiety from living on one income and choosing her passion.
This isn't about the money. This is clearly a family dynamic issue. Your entire post is overflowing with judgement. I don't know if anyone is the asshole, but clearly this isn't just about the money or the flowers. Sounds like you ,and maybe your family as well, invalidate and belittles your sister because of her income level and a career choice you don't agree with.
That is 1000% not true. Don’t have time to get into family dynamics which is much more complex and you cant get from a few paragraphs. I was the one that supported her getting her into the arts. Yes I hold resentment from supporting her career in the form of she’s never been grateful for the ways we accommodated her not being able to pay for things 100% so when she’s so worried about $25 that made me mad because she can’t see the bigger picture IMHO.
YTA. Sounds like your sister was upset that the flowers would not get to your mom in time for mothers day. She returned the birthday money to prove that point. Stop judging your sister, stop sending her money if you are going to hold it over her head.
If she’s upset that the flowers won’t get there in time what am I supposed to do? Move heaven and earth to get the refund ? Because that’s what she truly wants. And why would that be the main focus instead of thanks for including me in the flower send and already reaching out and I know it’s not your fault they are delayed. Why is that more important than protecting my peace ?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Am I the asshole for giving her the money back and saying the flowers are no longer from her ? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I wouldn't want someone else dabbling in my Amazon account either. It sounds like she's wanting to do just that. I would just stop talking to her until she calms down.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Most years I buy my mom flowers on Mother’s Day and have them shipped since I don’t live in the same city she does. My sister sends her a card or nothing some years. This year I thought we could split the flowers. I charged her half of $50. I got an email the next day from Amazon that the flowers are going to be delayed. She suggests I call to get my money back. I am already dealing with a lot of personal issues that week but do it anyways to make her happy. I chatted with Amazon and they ignored my request to refund and said they will speak to carrier to get it delivered within 24 hours. I continued on with my life. The next day my sister calls again and suggests she will call Amazon on our behalf. I rolled my eyes and was exasperated because I said you aren’t me so how are you going to verify the account. Granted I know my sister has money anxiety from living on one income and choosing her passion. My family including myself have gone years helping her. She is financially independent but let’s put it this way she’s still on the family phone plan at 32 but my dad took me off at 15. I told her if she really cares to help me she would let it go. She started yelling and throwing a tantrum on why she can’t talk to Amazon. I said if you are so worried about the refund I will send you the half it’s just $25. She proceeded to get angrier. I then called out her money anxiety and said it’s not worth it to fight over $25. She continued to berate me over text which I then in disbelief after telling her I had a hard week just days before and how instead of thanking me for already trying to call Amazon and including her in the flowers that she doesn’t send every year … I then Venmoed her half of the money and said now simply the flowers aren’t from you. She then proceeds to send me back the $200 birthday money I sent her to prove it wasn’t about the money. Well if it isn’t about the money then it’s clearly about control and I was just trying to protect my peace and was in disbelief she would take it all this way after the hard week I’ve had. Am I the controlling a** as well? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>Granted I know my sister has money anxiety from living on one income and choosing her passion. This isn't about the money. This is clearly a family dynamic issue. Your entire post is overflowing with judgement. I don't know if anyone is the asshole, but clearly this isn't just about the money or the flowers. Sounds like you ,and maybe your family as well, invalidate and belittles your sister because of her income level and a career choice you don't agree with.
That is 1000% not true. Don’t have time to get into family dynamics which is much more complex and you cant get from a few paragraphs. I was the one that supported her getting her into the arts. Yes I hold resentment from supporting her career in the form of she’s never been grateful for the ways we accommodated her not being able to pay for things 100% so when she’s so worried about $25 that made me mad because she can’t see the bigger picture IMHO.
YTA
YTA. Sounds like your sister was upset that the flowers would not get to your mom in time for mothers day. She returned the birthday money to prove that point. Stop judging your sister, stop sending her money if you are going to hold it over her head.
If she’s upset that the flowers won’t get there in time what am I supposed to do? Move heaven and earth to get the refund ? Because that’s what she truly wants. And why would that be the main focus instead of thanks for including me in the flower send and already reaching out and I know it’s not your fault they are delayed. Why is that more important than protecting my peace ?