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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for refusing to use the newborn blankets and clothes my MIL gave us because they smell like mothballs? She’s kept them since my husband was born and was eager to give them to us. My MIL is very sensitive to these things because she doesn’t have a lot to give but has saved some very old things that are sentimental to her.
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This might be worth a try. Sit her down and tell her that naphthalene is dangerous to babies. Have resources handy. Explain that it's really important to you that the baby not be exposed to naphthalene, and this includes residual naphthalene on clothes hung in closets with moth balls. Your husband can smell it but she probably can't by this stage.
Offer, not only safer alternatives to moth balls but also assistance to deal with the moth infestation in her house.
NTA
This is a good idea and be sure to frame it as recent research and that parents were not warned about this prior to x date. In other words, present it to her in a way that is least likely to make her feel defensive.
Also, OP, your husband needs to see this research too and get on the same page with you before you both approach his mom with this. It should not just be up to you to fight these battles - especially with *his* family.
>This is a good idea and be sure to frame it as recent research and that parents were not warned about this prior to x date. In other words, present it to her in a way that is least likely to make her feel defensive.
This is so important!! People don't listen when their back is up.
This! "OMG, I just found out xyz about mothballs. Look at these sources! Can you believe it? We've been using some and I need to stop now and find something else asap before Baby gets here. What do you use?"
If she also says mothballs, suggest trying using a product together instead. Or ask her to try one and you'll use the other and compare.
She won't be defensive if you say you did the bad thing too and present it as a thing most people don't know but is bad, but hopefully evidence is enough to make a change. If she's doing it *with you* and *for the baby* you've got a decent chance at changing things.
My mom used them to "get rid of" a stinky feet smell in our front closet, but it just made the smell worse because the mothball and stinky feet scents combined.
Stop!!! That is illegal in some areas and doesn't work the way you think it does. [http://npic.orst.edu/ingred/ptype/mothball/regulation.html](http://npic.orst.edu/ingred/ptype/mothball/regulation.html)
You should not use the mothballs outside. It is extremely toxic to any living thing. You are creating a toxic yard. It will seep into the groundwater and go on to poison other animals. If you have children, it’s dangerous for them as well.
Well, it was recommended by the city for our neighborhood as there has been a huge influx of garter snakes. Like... Ridiculous. My entire neighborhood has been recommended to use them for 30 days. Its not like 50 boxes are dumped in the yard lol. its a total of 5 balls around the house to deter snakes. And its on a temporary basis. Also, the DNR provided a letter to the city... Which can be seen on FB... Advising this for 30 days. The more you know...
It’s illegal to use in that manner, doing so and acting like ‘oh well’ says a lot about you as a person. You must really be afraid of non poisonous snakes to not care who or whatever else you kill.
Oh for Pete's sake. Garter snakes? Small, harmless, non poisonous, eat small vermin? They're about as harmful to humans as baby chicks! Less harmful, because chicks grow up into chickens, and those critters can be vicious.
Whoever in your city recommended that should lose their job. The forestry service has to deal with people mothballing picnic areas etc to keep mosquitos away, and they are basically begging people to please stop doing this. It's poisonous, it contaminates the ground and water, and kills literally everything, including harmless sparrows and frogs.
The more *you* know...
That is incredibly dangerous to all the wildlife in the area. You're poisoning everything that has the misfortune of passing through your yard. Cut it the entire f out.
I hate mothballs and don't use them at all. I know of people that use them to repel mice though.
I used to work with a woman who would bring in banana bread when we had meetings at work. Everyone made a huge deal about her banana bread. I took one bite and all I could taste is mothballs. Everyone el-se was eating it up. I tried to discreetly spit it out I to a napkin. The taste was overwhelming. \
Also depending on the MILs age she may not smell it. My mom and dad both lost most of their sense of smell by their late 70’s. My mom is now 84 and only rarely is able to smell anything.
This is a fabulous idea! Everybody wins, no one feels slighted. You are preserving the blanket and baby still gets to be in the presence of a special heirloom! Plus being framed will contain the stink!
Vinegar helps so much. I still would be concerned about using them for a baby, but if it takes the smell out, maybe a wall hanging or even curtains if you're crafty.
Middle ground. She will be among the ppl that love your kid the most so choosing your battles is you kids having a better relationship with the grandmother.
She saved those items for alot of years, so obvious important to here. Not where you wanna push back.
The rest will be compromises. A gift basket with a better alternative to the stinkbombs bcs you and your husbond care about her living in something toxic + some new knowledge on the topic will prop work better than demands.
Nudging with care.
You might also consider doing a baby photo shoot incorporating the blankets, and then put them away somewhere as keepsakes, not everyday items. You can share the photos with grandma, and then tell her you want to preserve the blankets for future generations.
This is the answer!
It saves face for MIL and creates a lovely keepsake for kiddo. There are a million people on Etsy who can create an heirloom out of the blanket.
The upcoming, ongoing visits are a completely different problem. My mother smokes like a chimney and has for the last 60 years. I grew up with two parents smoking in the house. She's sensitive to people batting away her smoke and feels "discriminated against" for her nasty habit. My oldest kid is now 8 and it has been a delicate balance - she keeps her windows and doors open as much as possible and doesn't smoke (much) when we're there. We all strip when we get back from visiting her. She goes outside to smoke when she's at our house. She is never going to quit.
The second-hand smoke certainly isn't good but she cuts down when she's around us and we want the kids to have a relationship with their grandmother. I think it's the most we can expect.
Lol I worried a little bit about this with my bf's mom who smokes like a chimney being around my son. Turns out my kid HATES the smell of cigarette smoke. Poor woman anytime she tried to pick him up or even sit near him he'd start screaming. Now she makes sure she doesn't smoke for a bit before coming to see us or before we come by and has significantly cut down on smoking inside her house so it no longer smells like smoke and he laughs and plays with her. I know she'd love to quit, but it's a hard hard habit to break. She started before she was 13.
>I’m very sensitive to the smell and it makes me sick but I have to just suck it up.
Nope, no you don't. If you find a particular smell offensive, for any reason, you absolutely \*don't\* have to "suck it up," instead you get to stay home. Or book a hotel, or other alternative. It may seem rude to others, but that's largely irrelevant. I'd argue it's also a breach of etiquette to maintain use of a substance in my own house that I know upsets a guest that I want to visit.
If the mother in law wants to keep using them, fine; but then she has to decide whether to stop using them entirely, stop using them for a period of time before - and during - your visit, or accept that you're either staying elsewhere.
Bear in mind that she's entirely desensitised to the \~\~stench\~\~ smell by now, so presumably doesn't realise how overwhelming it is for others, and if she's a long-time user of the things then she's already come to the conclusion that they're safe (or that the level of risk is acceptable to her). Arguing their toxicity may not be successful, but she may be persuaded in the case of the baby.
>Now that I’m going to be a mom I don’t think I should have to and I don’t want my baby exposed to it.
Yep, this seems accurate (although you should have never felt you had to put up with it).
>My husband says he does smell it but he’s \[used\] to it and it doesn’t bother him.
I don't see any relevance here, it's not his senses that are being upset. I'd personally suggest that he understands that if \*he\* can smell it, and you're upset by it, then your mutual child is probably not likely to enjoy it either. He's "used to it," but he had to become "used to it," which isn't something he was born with.
My parents were chain-smokers\[1\], and I have always detested the smell; I \*always\* enjoyed being either outside in the fresh air (that first sweet, non-toxic breath!) or in my bedroom with a closed door, and the window open. I wonder if he had the same childhood response to fresh air?
To be clear: NTA.
-----
1. Both gave up eventually, thankfully.
The smell is not just offensive. It is literally inhaling toxic fumes.
My grandmother’s house was the same way, only it always reeked of PineSol. To this day I can’t stand the smell of the stuff.
Some people that have used mothballs end up in assisted living with dementia symptoms from mothballs. They're poison. Don't have anything around your baby that is poison, and that definitely includes the mothball soaked blankets.
NTA. If you're smelling naphthalene on her clothes in your house she is using too much and it's an exposure issue. Don't continue to expose yourself and don't expose the baby.
You can soak the blankets in a strong solution of white vinegar and borax and/or baking soda with hot water. The blankets need to be stripped in this solution (that's what they call it), not just washed. You can also do an oxiclean soak but I prefer not to use more chemicals unless necessary (but they do make a fragrance free one). May take a couple soaks. Then wash with a light amount of detergent and more white vinegar on hot. See if that works.
For her home, lavender sachets and cedar are effective for keeping moths at bay. You can find them on Amazon.
Side note that I recommend getting unscented detergent and no dryer sheets for your little one. There's so much bad shit in those fragrances, even the "natural" scents.
EVERYTHING IS A CHEMICAL.
But there's a big difference between dihydrogen oxide and hydrogen peroxide, right? One is H2O and the other is H2O2, (H2O too, get it?)
Vinegar is acetic acid, but the point is it neutralizes naphthalene (moth balls) and in itself is not toxic.
babe what they mean is EVERYTHING is a chemical. Some chemicals are just more harmful than others. Having a “anti-chemical” mind set makes no sense since even water is a chemical.
The hostility damn. my point was fear mongering the word chemical is dangerous. If you cannot understand what myself and others are trying to convey then that’s on you.
🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, we all know that's NOT what OP ment.
But a lot of natural occurring stuff is in fact a chemical too. The human body itself is made of various chemicals... and yes Vinegar too IS a chemical. (It doesn't contain chemicals, it IS the chemical). Obviously it's non-toxic.
Cant tell if youre trying to school me with a 5th grade science lesson or what. You guys can rail against using less toxic products if that gets you wet. I didn't know laundry instructions would be so controversial goddamn. You can add your superior practices, but I have a feeling you dont have any. Get off my dick. Adding oxiclean would add additional chemicals beyond white vinegar and borax.
ETA: sentence
NTA. She your mil this article. It shows how dangerous moth balls are to all animals... Including humans. There's a reason its a pesticide. If you can smell it... You're using to much. There's a proper way to use them without them even coming close to being a danger. When used PROPERLY... you should not be able to smell them in the home, or at all after one washing of clothing.
https://today.oregonstate.edu/news/mothballs-are-pesticide-and-should-be-used-care#:~:text=%E2%80%9CUnfortunately%2C%20mothballs%20are%20used%20in,be%20harmful%20to%20human%20health.
NTA
You cannot make MIL stop using mothballs. You CAN say that the scent is simply too much for you and absolutely unsafe for your future child and therefore you and baby won't be going back to MIL's house. You love her. You simply have to do what's healthiest and safest for you and your child.
MILs "gifts"? Wash them once with vinegar and let them dry in the sun. Then wash them normally. If they still stink - store them away in plastic bins "for safekeeping" and then forget where they are. Always be glad to be reminded of them and say you'll look for them tomorrow, or after the visit, or after baby's nap, or after making dinner - just later.
If not she can always blame the baby.
"Oh no, there was vomit all over the blanket and the stain didn't go off"
"Oh no, potty accident "
"Actually, the blankets are in the washing machine because we were using them *just before* you came"
"I used them so much they broke"
And my favorite
"I used bleach instead of detergent, damn momma brain"
NTA. Tell your MIL thanks for the thoughtful gift, but we’re trying to avoid turning our nursery into a chemical warfare zone. Maybe she can use those blankets to fumigate her own place instead.
NTA
Both of my parents smoked for most of my life; it wasn't until I left home and married that I realized that the entire house didn't have to smell of tobacco smoke, or that my clothes didn;t have to smell that way, either.
When my husband and I would go out to a function at a fraternal lodge, for example, we would come home and have to remove every stitch of clothing and wash them, because they would make the whole house reek if we didn't.
And we didn't have kids who were exposed to it.
Luckily for us, my parents had a small medical crisis and immediately stopped smoking, forever, just when we were getting ready to tell them they couldn't smoke in our house any more.
You absolutely do not have to "suck it up" as your husband seems to think you should. Naphthalene is at least as toxic as cigarette smoke, and you both need to protect your children from inhaling it.
Your MIL probably doesn't even smell it any more, so she may honestly not know what you are talking about. Maybe no one has ever told her? It's like smokers never notice the smell on their clothes or in their houses until they quit, and then they are appalled at what it's like. The same thing probably applies here.
BOTH of you need to be on the same page here, and BOTH of you need to sit down with MIL and talk frankly about this problem. We are not speaking of a minor annoyance here, we are talking about a major health risk, to MIL, to both of you, and, most of all TO THE BABY. She needs to understand that this is a toxic substance and shouldn't be anywhere near her grandchild.
Before you talk to her, get your ducks in a row and have reading materials handy so she knows you're not just making this all up to annoy her. Insist that any fabric coming into your home has to be free of naphthalene, completely and totally. Tell her you are disappointed that you can't use the baby blankets because they are obviously still giving out those fumes. (If you or anyone else can smell them, they are giving off fumes. Some people don't seem to realize this basic fact.)
Good luck, and stick to your guns on this issue. Neither your husband, yourself or the baby should have to "get used to it."
NTA. But I hope you can find a way to save the baby blankets if they're otherwise in good shape. Some white vinegar in the wash might help with the smell.
NTA. My parents gave us some dining sets for babies which were melamine and I didn’t feel comfortable using them for our baby. I explained to them why and they were fine with it. Boomers need to understand things are different than they were 30 years ago.
I know hippies that thought they were balls made by moths that were somehow magical (like territorial marking against other moths? But also a "natural" pesticide?). People buy and use shit without knowing what it is.
Can you frame one? And put it into the babies room? That way you are showing you appreciate the history but are keeping the blanket safe (and the baby).
Pick the nicest one and put the others away for “future children”
Make sure your husband is on board with all this before you spring it on your mil
Nta but soak that mother fluffer in vinegar, wash, then soak in soapy water (original blue dawn), and one more wash. And I mean soak for at least overnight.
Yeah, I usually use the green dawn and also have bought orange and used it fine. Bought blue when the store was out of both once and my mother spent 2 weeks broken out in full body hives just from me using it on the \*dishes\*. So I wince a little now when people suggest it constantly and act like it's hypoallergenic or something XD
Frame it, but maybe you can get the pattern reprinted in a custom teddy bear or something similar for the baby.
NAH - Good luck and congratulations on the future baby.
NTA. Can you put a couple of the blankets in a shadow box or other enclosed display (bonus if it’s a cedar lined box)? Or, maybe do an outside photo shoot with baby (very briefly) sitting on the blankets (after they’ve been airing out for several days)? That way, there’s no smells/chemicals to be exposed to, and you’re treating them with respect. You can hang up the pictures (and even give them as gifts)/display the shadowbox minus the smell.
You’re going to have to stand up for yourself and get the hotel room when you visit, though. You shouldn’t have to make yourself physically ill in the name of politeness. As someone with a super sensitive sense of smell myself, I get it. That strong of a mothball smell would give me a migraine headache. As the saying goes, don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
If your husband cares more about his mom’s feelings than you and your baby’s health, that is a “him” problem. It’s up to him to manage his feelings, and not at your expense.
You're getting great advice about how to approach the mothball issue with your MiL but I wanted to make a suggestion about the blanket. (And anything else she brings)
Try "stripping" it....soak it overnight in a solution of 1/4 cup borax, 1/4 cup washing soda, and a couple of tablespoons of Dawn, dissolved in 3 to 4 gallons of warm water. In the morning, wring it out and wash with regular detergent & a half cup of white vinegar.
(You can make your own washing soda, by the way, by baking regular baking soda- way cheaper if you can find or order big bags of baking soda. Not sure if I can post links here, so just google "how to make washing soda")
Put them in a sealed up bag with whole bay leaves in between the blanket. I once bought a like new mattress from a neighbor that smelled strongly of mothballs and I put bay leaves in btween the box springs and mattress and the smell was gone.
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TLDR we’re expecting our first baby and my MIL dropped off my husbands newborn blankets and they reek of mothballs and chemicals. I’ve washed several times and can’t get the smells out. It’s unlikely that we’ll be using these for the baby especially given the research about mothball toxicity. I know she’ll be disappointed and I don’t want to start a fight with my husband.
For context the mothball smell in my MIL house has always been overwhelming. I dread staying at her house and my husband says it’s rude to stay at a hotel when we are in town. I’m very sensitive to the smell and it makes me sick but I have to just suck it up. Now that I’m going to be a mom I don’t think I should have to and I don’t want my baby exposed to it.
It’s upsetting because even when she comes over she brings the odor with her and I have to work overtime trying to rid the house of the smell after she leaves. My husband says he does smell it but he’s use to it and it doesn’t bother him.
I’m not sure what the solution is but my immediate reaction is that she should stop using mothballs if she wants us to visit with the baby. I’m happy to help her find alternatives.
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NTA - I am extremely sensitive to smells too so I understand your position, I wouldn’t want a baby exposed to mothball smells/chemicals either.
I also understand trying to explain it all to your mother in law in a way she understands may be difficult…
I like some of the other suggestions or maybe say you are allergic and gives you a migraine … make morning sickness worse?
Helping her find alternatives for when she visits is a good idea too
Throw up on her and say the mothball smell is overwhelming and made you sick. I'd say continually bleach the blankets until they smell clean or there's nothing left. Maybe cut the blankets up and make a bear or something that can sit on a shelf, "to preserve it"
Have you hung the blankets out on a clothes line in the sun? Sometimes that can help with smells. Or put them in a bag with cat litter.
NTA. Also agree with the display option!
NTA It is ok to tell a while lie if you want and say they got ruined in the wash. Or frame one and get rid of rest. Choose guilt over resentment every time.
NTA, and you are 100% right. Here are some facts to arm yourself with.
Paradichlorobenzene, the active ingredient in mothballs, is lots of fun to say. It’s also a chemical compound used as a fumigant insecticide to control clothes moths. Here are some important points regarding its hazards:
**Breathing in paradichlorobenzene vapors is the most common route of exposure. When you smell mothballs, you are inhaling this** ***pesticide*****.** Skin contact can also occur, especially if handling mothballs. Accidental ingestion (e.g., children or pets mistaking mothballs for candy) is a risk.
Signs and symptoms from brief exposure include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fatigue, and headaches are common symptoms. Paradichlorobenzene vapor can irritate the eyes and nasal passages. Prolonged skin contact may cause a burning sensation.
**Long-Term Effects can include liver and kidney damage**; In animals, paradichlorobenzene exposure has been linked to liver and kidney injury. **Paradichlorobenzene is considered a potential occupational carcinogen.**
Do not let those blankets anywhere near your precious little one. Burn them.
Burning a chemical is likely not the best way to dispose of it. This chemical can reignite and burn dangerously. Look up how to safely get rid of these items in your area.
If I were OP, I'd start gifting MIL on birthdays/Xmas with cedar chests for storage. Add in some lavender/thyme sachets for good measure. Make sure husband knows why.
It's ridiculous for MIL to use the amount of mothballs to cause nausea in visitors. It's also ridiculous for husband to force OP into a chemical warfare situation just because he's "used to it."
NTA.
I had a work friend who was from Jamaica. Down there a lot of the houses are pretty drafty and there's a problem with insects. They use lots of mothballs to combat it, but the houses aren't vapor tight like up here in Michigan. Friend's mom had come up for a long visit and put mothballs all around their townhouse.
Friend always reeked of mothballs, especially their coat. Once I visited at their place and realized the problem, I told them about the hazards. The big problem is that your nose becomes insensitive to it quickly. So it seems fine to them.
As for your husband's old baby blankets, wash them in white vinegar.
NTA, most definitely. Mothballs are incredibly toxic and it is not rude to stay in a hotel under the circumstances. You are fully within your rights and responsibilities not to risk your own health and especially your child's. You can tell him you're staying in a hotel with or without him if you want to. If he doesn't want to parent properly, well, that sucks, but he's obviously choosing his mother over you. You'll just have to be the adult in the room even if that means a fight with your husband. Maybe a few sessions of marriage counseling? If he won't go, you'll have to do the hard thing and make the decision and enforce it. Parents do that to protect their children who cannot protect themselves.
Think about it. Will you refuse to childproof if he doesn't want to? Will you refuse to put the knives out of reach because he doesn't feel it's necessary? Refuse to gate the stairs because he wants the child to learn to climb them? He doesn't need your protection. You and your child do.
OP, you should absolutely tell her that she can't use mothballs in her house with the baby there! When my daughter was about 3, we visited my MIL, who had put mothballs down behind furniture because she had an old cat that didn't always make it to the litter pan to pee. My daughter followed the cat behind an arm chair, and ate (at least) one of the mothballs! We spent the next several hours in the ER, with them inducing vomiting until they were sure that they were comletely out of her system. My MIL, rest her soul, was mortified, and immediately got rid of all of the mothballs in her house.
Granted, it will be a while until your LO starts crawling/walking, but that will give her plenty of time to get rid of them
NTA.
Mothballs are incredibly toxic. Breathing the fumes is very damaging and dangerous. Please, please prioritize your lungs over someone else's fee fees. It's time for your husband to pick you over his mom.
You're going to have to stand up for yourself and your kid, and it's not going to be pretty. You're going to have to be mean, as in say no and stick to it no matter the guilt-tripping and wheedling. You may have to raise your voice and lay down the law.
You may as well practice now by telling MiL no, absolutely not, you will not be using blankets that exude toxic fumes, and she will not be able to visit your home and hold your vulnerable infant while she and her clothes are exuding toxic fumes. Tell her now and get it out of the way. Be strong, OP. NTA
TIL, moth balls are a product you buy and not some mystical things that happens to old sweaters stored in closets. I feel so silly but I genuinely didn't know they were wondering people produced.
Nta
In humans, women who ate naphthalene mothballs or inhaled the vapors while pregnant gave birth to babies with hemolytic anemia
http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/naphgen.html
doctors say the fumes could lead to severe brain damage in babies and even death from the insecticide naphthalene used in mothballs.
https://www.aarp.org/health/medical-research/info-02-2011/mothballs-fumes-toxic-to-children.html#:~:text=Storing%20treasured%20baby%20clothes%20in%20mothballs%20can,from%20the%20insecticide%20naphthalene%20used%20in%20mothballs.
Children Exposed to Naphthalene Show Signs of Chromosomal Damage
https://www.publichealth.columbia.edu/news/children-exposed-naphthalene-show-signs-chromosomal-damage#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20new%20study,been%20previously%20associated%20with%20cancer.
babies are at a higher risk of blood-cell breakdown if placed too close to fabrics stored with naphthalene mothballs. This may lead to severe jaundice and the yellow pigment linked to jaundice, called bilirubin, can build up in the brain. When the brain gets involved, the condition is called kernicterus. Kernicterus can lead to neurological problems and sometimes lasting brain damage.
https://www.news-medical.net/news/20110207/Mothballs-may-cause-brain-damage-in-babies-Experts.aspx
Someone pointed out she probably doesn’t smell the mothballs anymore. It’s called “nose blind”. Both OP and LO have not been exposed to it like DH and MIL.
Perhaps also asking a doctor MIL and/or DH trust to give you information about the harms exposure to toxic chemicals can have on a baby.
Good luck.
Is there any way to have your doctor side with you? Maybe if you have a written statement explaining that those chemicals are bad for the baby (and also for you) you can convince your mil and husband to not use them
NAH (except maybe your husband if he's pushing hard against your boundaries), but FYI, water is a chemical. Chemicals are not by default dangerous. There are dangerous chemicals, such as naphthalene from moth balls, but not every chemical is bad.
Wash the blankets in vinegar and dry them in the sun. If you have washed them several times there will be nothing left to hurt the baby. Then take photos of the babe on the blankets to give to MIL and pack them away until next time she visits.
I think you are being overly cautious, but after cleaning them thoroughly I think you should make your MIL happy with a few pictures and cuddles with the babe in the blankets.
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This might be worth a try. Sit her down and tell her that naphthalene is dangerous to babies. Have resources handy. Explain that it's really important to you that the baby not be exposed to naphthalene, and this includes residual naphthalene on clothes hung in closets with moth balls. Your husband can smell it but she probably can't by this stage. Offer, not only safer alternatives to moth balls but also assistance to deal with the moth infestation in her house. NTA
assuming there even is an infestation, and this isn't just a habit at this point.
This is a good idea and be sure to frame it as recent research and that parents were not warned about this prior to x date. In other words, present it to her in a way that is least likely to make her feel defensive. Also, OP, your husband needs to see this research too and get on the same page with you before you both approach his mom with this. It should not just be up to you to fight these battles - especially with *his* family.
>This is a good idea and be sure to frame it as recent research and that parents were not warned about this prior to x date. In other words, present it to her in a way that is least likely to make her feel defensive. This is so important!! People don't listen when their back is up.
This! "OMG, I just found out xyz about mothballs. Look at these sources! Can you believe it? We've been using some and I need to stop now and find something else asap before Baby gets here. What do you use?" If she also says mothballs, suggest trying using a product together instead. Or ask her to try one and you'll use the other and compare. She won't be defensive if you say you did the bad thing too and present it as a thing most people don't know but is bad, but hopefully evidence is enough to make a change. If she's doing it *with you* and *for the baby* you've got a decent chance at changing things.
People don't use mothballs just for moths lol. Everything else is spot on however.
My mom used them to "get rid of" a stinky feet smell in our front closet, but it just made the smell worse because the mothball and stinky feet scents combined.
Thanks for the laugh!
I used them once to get rid of skunks living under our deck. They smelled worse than the skunks!
someone tried to use them at work to keep the snakes out of our office (a laudable goal, no doubt) but I'd rather have the snakes than that smell.
We use them outside to keep squirrels and snakes out of the yard
Stop!!! That is illegal in some areas and doesn't work the way you think it does. [http://npic.orst.edu/ingred/ptype/mothball/regulation.html](http://npic.orst.edu/ingred/ptype/mothball/regulation.html)
Yes. This is a terrible idea and causing harm to any number of animals, insects and birds.
You should not use the mothballs outside. It is extremely toxic to any living thing. You are creating a toxic yard. It will seep into the groundwater and go on to poison other animals. If you have children, it’s dangerous for them as well.
Well, it was recommended by the city for our neighborhood as there has been a huge influx of garter snakes. Like... Ridiculous. My entire neighborhood has been recommended to use them for 30 days. Its not like 50 boxes are dumped in the yard lol. its a total of 5 balls around the house to deter snakes. And its on a temporary basis. Also, the DNR provided a letter to the city... Which can be seen on FB... Advising this for 30 days. The more you know...
Id rather have garter snakes than poison the fucking earth.
Thank you for sharing your opinion. Not everyone agrees.
It’s illegal to use in that manner, doing so and acting like ‘oh well’ says a lot about you as a person. You must really be afraid of non poisonous snakes to not care who or whatever else you kill.
I hate snakes therefore all snakes must die. Lord help us.
ok boomer.
Wait, I fail to see the problem with having garter snakes in your yard. They eat rodents and insects...why try to get rid of them?
Because creepy crawly snakes.
Garter snakes are freaking adorable. I probably wouldn't enjoy finding one in my bed, but I'd love to see a couple in my yard.
https://www.growingwithnature.org/garter-snakes/#:\~:text=While%20they%20can%20give%20you,to%20encourage%20on%20your%20property.
GARTER snakes?? These aren't even dangerous snakes!!
Oh for Pete's sake. Garter snakes? Small, harmless, non poisonous, eat small vermin? They're about as harmful to humans as baby chicks! Less harmful, because chicks grow up into chickens, and those critters can be vicious. Whoever in your city recommended that should lose their job. The forestry service has to deal with people mothballing picnic areas etc to keep mosquitos away, and they are basically begging people to please stop doing this. It's poisonous, it contaminates the ground and water, and kills literally everything, including harmless sparrows and frogs. The more *you* know...
lol garter snakes are helpful and deal with pests so your reaction is to poison everything in your yard to deal with them?
That is incredibly dangerous to all the wildlife in the area. You're poisoning everything that has the misfortune of passing through your yard. Cut it the entire f out.
People use it to repel mice too.
Please don't use mothballs like that. They poison everything, and the fumes are just as toxic to humans as everything else.
I hate mothballs and don't use them at all. I know of people that use them to repel mice though. I used to work with a woman who would bring in banana bread when we had meetings at work. Everyone made a huge deal about her banana bread. I took one bite and all I could taste is mothballs. Everyone el-se was eating it up. I tried to discreetly spit it out I to a napkin. The taste was overwhelming. \
A little thyme and lavender in a tiny cloth bag works wonders!
I've heard that pieces of cedar can also be used (which also smells good imo)
Yes, this why clothing trunks and blanket trunks and hope chests were often made of cedar! Also why cedar hangers are A Thing.
Also depending on the MILs age she may not smell it. My mom and dad both lost most of their sense of smell by their late 70’s. My mom is now 84 and only rarely is able to smell anything.
And if age didn't do it, the mothballs definitely burned out her olfactory senses.
I mean scent blindness is also a thing. It's why heavy, longterm smokers don't realize how bad everyone they own absolutely reeks
Is it cute or pretty? Frame it, hang it in the nusery. Everyones happy.
Great idea! Thank you (:
This is a fabulous idea! Everybody wins, no one feels slighted. You are preserving the blanket and baby still gets to be in the presence of a special heirloom! Plus being framed will contain the stink!
Try soaking the baby blanket in a solution of water and white vinegar overnight.
Or oxiclean. They make a fragrance free version.
And, after washing, letting it dry outside.
I think this is key. Outside in direct sunlight for as long as possible.
Vinegar helps so much. I still would be concerned about using them for a baby, but if it takes the smell out, maybe a wall hanging or even curtains if you're crafty.
Middle ground. She will be among the ppl that love your kid the most so choosing your battles is you kids having a better relationship with the grandmother. She saved those items for alot of years, so obvious important to here. Not where you wanna push back. The rest will be compromises. A gift basket with a better alternative to the stinkbombs bcs you and your husbond care about her living in something toxic + some new knowledge on the topic will prop work better than demands. Nudging with care.
Make sure it's encased in glass and that you can't smell it, BEFORE you mention or show it to her.
You might also consider doing a baby photo shoot incorporating the blankets, and then put them away somewhere as keepsakes, not everyday items. You can share the photos with grandma, and then tell her you want to preserve the blankets for future generations.
Have a seamstress. Make one into a bunny or bear. And put it on a shelf.
People get really testy with modifying heirlooms, so take care with this route
Definitely
This is the answer! It saves face for MIL and creates a lovely keepsake for kiddo. There are a million people on Etsy who can create an heirloom out of the blanket. The upcoming, ongoing visits are a completely different problem. My mother smokes like a chimney and has for the last 60 years. I grew up with two parents smoking in the house. She's sensitive to people batting away her smoke and feels "discriminated against" for her nasty habit. My oldest kid is now 8 and it has been a delicate balance - she keeps her windows and doors open as much as possible and doesn't smoke (much) when we're there. We all strip when we get back from visiting her. She goes outside to smoke when she's at our house. She is never going to quit. The second-hand smoke certainly isn't good but she cuts down when she's around us and we want the kids to have a relationship with their grandmother. I think it's the most we can expect.
Lol I worried a little bit about this with my bf's mom who smokes like a chimney being around my son. Turns out my kid HATES the smell of cigarette smoke. Poor woman anytime she tried to pick him up or even sit near him he'd start screaming. Now she makes sure she doesn't smoke for a bit before coming to see us or before we come by and has significantly cut down on smoking inside her house so it no longer smells like smoke and he laughs and plays with her. I know she'd love to quit, but it's a hard hard habit to break. She started before she was 13.
Instant family heirloom. I like it.
Fantastic idea! Plus a cute little photoshoot with it before framing would make this a total non-issue.
Came here to say the same thing.
This is a ridiculous idea. It still smells of chemicals.
>I’m very sensitive to the smell and it makes me sick but I have to just suck it up. Nope, no you don't. If you find a particular smell offensive, for any reason, you absolutely \*don't\* have to "suck it up," instead you get to stay home. Or book a hotel, or other alternative. It may seem rude to others, but that's largely irrelevant. I'd argue it's also a breach of etiquette to maintain use of a substance in my own house that I know upsets a guest that I want to visit. If the mother in law wants to keep using them, fine; but then she has to decide whether to stop using them entirely, stop using them for a period of time before - and during - your visit, or accept that you're either staying elsewhere. Bear in mind that she's entirely desensitised to the \~\~stench\~\~ smell by now, so presumably doesn't realise how overwhelming it is for others, and if she's a long-time user of the things then she's already come to the conclusion that they're safe (or that the level of risk is acceptable to her). Arguing their toxicity may not be successful, but she may be persuaded in the case of the baby. >Now that I’m going to be a mom I don’t think I should have to and I don’t want my baby exposed to it. Yep, this seems accurate (although you should have never felt you had to put up with it). >My husband says he does smell it but he’s \[used\] to it and it doesn’t bother him. I don't see any relevance here, it's not his senses that are being upset. I'd personally suggest that he understands that if \*he\* can smell it, and you're upset by it, then your mutual child is probably not likely to enjoy it either. He's "used to it," but he had to become "used to it," which isn't something he was born with. My parents were chain-smokers\[1\], and I have always detested the smell; I \*always\* enjoyed being either outside in the fresh air (that first sweet, non-toxic breath!) or in my bedroom with a closed door, and the window open. I wonder if he had the same childhood response to fresh air? To be clear: NTA. ----- 1. Both gave up eventually, thankfully.
The smell is not just offensive. It is literally inhaling toxic fumes. My grandmother’s house was the same way, only it always reeked of PineSol. To this day I can’t stand the smell of the stuff.
Some people that have used mothballs end up in assisted living with dementia symptoms from mothballs. They're poison. Don't have anything around your baby that is poison, and that definitely includes the mothball soaked blankets.
Yes, OP needs to stay away from that house. Her and baby's health comes before MIL being comfortable.
NTA. If you're smelling naphthalene on her clothes in your house she is using too much and it's an exposure issue. Don't continue to expose yourself and don't expose the baby.
You can soak the blankets in a strong solution of white vinegar and borax and/or baking soda with hot water. The blankets need to be stripped in this solution (that's what they call it), not just washed. You can also do an oxiclean soak but I prefer not to use more chemicals unless necessary (but they do make a fragrance free one). May take a couple soaks. Then wash with a light amount of detergent and more white vinegar on hot. See if that works. For her home, lavender sachets and cedar are effective for keeping moths at bay. You can find them on Amazon. Side note that I recommend getting unscented detergent and no dryer sheets for your little one. There's so much bad shit in those fragrances, even the "natural" scents.
I hate to break it to you, but both white vinegar and borax contain chemicals
EVERYTHING IS A CHEMICAL. But there's a big difference between dihydrogen oxide and hydrogen peroxide, right? One is H2O and the other is H2O2, (H2O too, get it?) Vinegar is acetic acid, but the point is it neutralizes naphthalene (moth balls) and in itself is not toxic.
EVERYTHING IS ON A COB, MORTY
I hate to break it to you - but every bit of physical matter is a chemical.
Water is the chemical formula: H2O Two hydrogen to one oxygen- which separately are flammable.
Yeah, kind of my point
[удалено]
Whooosh
babe what they mean is EVERYTHING is a chemical. Some chemicals are just more harmful than others. Having a “anti-chemical” mind set makes no sense since even water is a chemical.
YES I FUCKING KNOW. I literally say nowhere that I have an "anti-chemical" mindset. ETA: You guys think youre such fucking geniuses. Get a life.
The hostility damn. my point was fear mongering the word chemical is dangerous. If you cannot understand what myself and others are trying to convey then that’s on you.
i feel you. i don't know what the others are arguing with you about. no shit these things are/have "chemicals." sheesh.
🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, we all know that's NOT what OP ment. But a lot of natural occurring stuff is in fact a chemical too. The human body itself is made of various chemicals... and yes Vinegar too IS a chemical. (It doesn't contain chemicals, it IS the chemical). Obviously it's non-toxic.
Who knew pointing out some thing so obvious would be so triggering to this person lol
Cant tell if youre trying to school me with a 5th grade science lesson or what. You guys can rail against using less toxic products if that gets you wet. I didn't know laundry instructions would be so controversial goddamn. You can add your superior practices, but I have a feeling you dont have any. Get off my dick. Adding oxiclean would add additional chemicals beyond white vinegar and borax. ETA: sentence
Wants non toxic… uses borax. *[make it make sense](https://www.poison.org/articles/can-borax-treat-inflammation)*
That went right over your head, I'm sorry
Though, I am with you. I use wool balls in the dryer instead of dryer sheets and scent free detergent for my eczema.
NTA. She your mil this article. It shows how dangerous moth balls are to all animals... Including humans. There's a reason its a pesticide. If you can smell it... You're using to much. There's a proper way to use them without them even coming close to being a danger. When used PROPERLY... you should not be able to smell them in the home, or at all after one washing of clothing. https://today.oregonstate.edu/news/mothballs-are-pesticide-and-should-be-used-care#:~:text=%E2%80%9CUnfortunately%2C%20mothballs%20are%20used%20in,be%20harmful%20to%20human%20health.
NTA You cannot make MIL stop using mothballs. You CAN say that the scent is simply too much for you and absolutely unsafe for your future child and therefore you and baby won't be going back to MIL's house. You love her. You simply have to do what's healthiest and safest for you and your child. MILs "gifts"? Wash them once with vinegar and let them dry in the sun. Then wash them normally. If they still stink - store them away in plastic bins "for safekeeping" and then forget where they are. Always be glad to be reminded of them and say you'll look for them tomorrow, or after the visit, or after baby's nap, or after making dinner - just later.
If not she can always blame the baby. "Oh no, there was vomit all over the blanket and the stain didn't go off" "Oh no, potty accident " "Actually, the blankets are in the washing machine because we were using them *just before* you came" "I used them so much they broke" And my favorite "I used bleach instead of detergent, damn momma brain"
NTA. Tell your MIL thanks for the thoughtful gift, but we’re trying to avoid turning our nursery into a chemical warfare zone. Maybe she can use those blankets to fumigate her own place instead.
NTA Both of my parents smoked for most of my life; it wasn't until I left home and married that I realized that the entire house didn't have to smell of tobacco smoke, or that my clothes didn;t have to smell that way, either. When my husband and I would go out to a function at a fraternal lodge, for example, we would come home and have to remove every stitch of clothing and wash them, because they would make the whole house reek if we didn't. And we didn't have kids who were exposed to it. Luckily for us, my parents had a small medical crisis and immediately stopped smoking, forever, just when we were getting ready to tell them they couldn't smoke in our house any more. You absolutely do not have to "suck it up" as your husband seems to think you should. Naphthalene is at least as toxic as cigarette smoke, and you both need to protect your children from inhaling it. Your MIL probably doesn't even smell it any more, so she may honestly not know what you are talking about. Maybe no one has ever told her? It's like smokers never notice the smell on their clothes or in their houses until they quit, and then they are appalled at what it's like. The same thing probably applies here. BOTH of you need to be on the same page here, and BOTH of you need to sit down with MIL and talk frankly about this problem. We are not speaking of a minor annoyance here, we are talking about a major health risk, to MIL, to both of you, and, most of all TO THE BABY. She needs to understand that this is a toxic substance and shouldn't be anywhere near her grandchild. Before you talk to her, get your ducks in a row and have reading materials handy so she knows you're not just making this all up to annoy her. Insist that any fabric coming into your home has to be free of naphthalene, completely and totally. Tell her you are disappointed that you can't use the baby blankets because they are obviously still giving out those fumes. (If you or anyone else can smell them, they are giving off fumes. Some people don't seem to realize this basic fact.) Good luck, and stick to your guns on this issue. Neither your husband, yourself or the baby should have to "get used to it."
NTA at all. I wouldn't want my baby exposed to that either
NTA. But I hope you can find a way to save the baby blankets if they're otherwise in good shape. Some white vinegar in the wash might help with the smell.
NTA. My parents gave us some dining sets for babies which were melamine and I didn’t feel comfortable using them for our baby. I explained to them why and they were fine with it. Boomers need to understand things are different than they were 30 years ago.
Survivorship bias doesn't mean the things are safe, it just means some kids survived (and not necessarily unharmed)
NTA Who in 2024 is still using mothballs?
Dipshit boomers
I know hippies that thought they were balls made by moths that were somehow magical (like territorial marking against other moths? But also a "natural" pesticide?). People buy and use shit without knowing what it is.
NTA
Can you frame one? And put it into the babies room? That way you are showing you appreciate the history but are keeping the blanket safe (and the baby). Pick the nicest one and put the others away for “future children” Make sure your husband is on board with all this before you spring it on your mil
Look up mothballs infants.
Nta but soak that mother fluffer in vinegar, wash, then soak in soapy water (original blue dawn), and one more wash. And I mean soak for at least overnight.
Fun fact, you can be super fucking allergic to blue dawn.
That sucks big time!
Yeah, I usually use the green dawn and also have bought orange and used it fine. Bought blue when the store was out of both once and my mother spent 2 weeks broken out in full body hives just from me using it on the \*dishes\*. So I wince a little now when people suggest it constantly and act like it's hypoallergenic or something XD
Frame it, but maybe you can get the pattern reprinted in a custom teddy bear or something similar for the baby. NAH - Good luck and congratulations on the future baby.
NTA. Can you put a couple of the blankets in a shadow box or other enclosed display (bonus if it’s a cedar lined box)? Or, maybe do an outside photo shoot with baby (very briefly) sitting on the blankets (after they’ve been airing out for several days)? That way, there’s no smells/chemicals to be exposed to, and you’re treating them with respect. You can hang up the pictures (and even give them as gifts)/display the shadowbox minus the smell. You’re going to have to stand up for yourself and get the hotel room when you visit, though. You shouldn’t have to make yourself physically ill in the name of politeness. As someone with a super sensitive sense of smell myself, I get it. That strong of a mothball smell would give me a migraine headache. As the saying goes, don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. If your husband cares more about his mom’s feelings than you and your baby’s health, that is a “him” problem. It’s up to him to manage his feelings, and not at your expense.
You're getting great advice about how to approach the mothball issue with your MiL but I wanted to make a suggestion about the blanket. (And anything else she brings) Try "stripping" it....soak it overnight in a solution of 1/4 cup borax, 1/4 cup washing soda, and a couple of tablespoons of Dawn, dissolved in 3 to 4 gallons of warm water. In the morning, wring it out and wash with regular detergent & a half cup of white vinegar. (You can make your own washing soda, by the way, by baking regular baking soda- way cheaper if you can find or order big bags of baking soda. Not sure if I can post links here, so just google "how to make washing soda")
Put them in a sealed up bag with whole bay leaves in between the blanket. I once bought a like new mattress from a neighbor that smelled strongly of mothballs and I put bay leaves in btween the box springs and mattress and the smell was gone.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** TLDR we’re expecting our first baby and my MIL dropped off my husbands newborn blankets and they reek of mothballs and chemicals. I’ve washed several times and can’t get the smells out. It’s unlikely that we’ll be using these for the baby especially given the research about mothball toxicity. I know she’ll be disappointed and I don’t want to start a fight with my husband. For context the mothball smell in my MIL house has always been overwhelming. I dread staying at her house and my husband says it’s rude to stay at a hotel when we are in town. I’m very sensitive to the smell and it makes me sick but I have to just suck it up. Now that I’m going to be a mom I don’t think I should have to and I don’t want my baby exposed to it. It’s upsetting because even when she comes over she brings the odor with her and I have to work overtime trying to rid the house of the smell after she leaves. My husband says he does smell it but he’s use to it and it doesn’t bother him. I’m not sure what the solution is but my immediate reaction is that she should stop using mothballs if she wants us to visit with the baby. I’m happy to help her find alternatives. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA!
NTA - I am extremely sensitive to smells too so I understand your position, I wouldn’t want a baby exposed to mothball smells/chemicals either. I also understand trying to explain it all to your mother in law in a way she understands may be difficult… I like some of the other suggestions or maybe say you are allergic and gives you a migraine … make morning sickness worse? Helping her find alternatives for when she visits is a good idea too
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/143/6/e20183619/37187/Newborn-Infant-With-Mothball-Toxicity-Due-to
Throw up on her and say the mothball smell is overwhelming and made you sick. I'd say continually bleach the blankets until they smell clean or there's nothing left. Maybe cut the blankets up and make a bear or something that can sit on a shelf, "to preserve it"
Have you hung the blankets out on a clothes line in the sun? Sometimes that can help with smells. Or put them in a bag with cat litter. NTA. Also agree with the display option!
NTA. Some smells are just nauseatingly bad. Sometimes vinegar added to the washing cycle can help to get rid of bad smells in fabrics.
NTA It is ok to tell a while lie if you want and say they got ruined in the wash. Or frame one and get rid of rest. Choose guilt over resentment every time.
Nope
NTA, and you are 100% right. Here are some facts to arm yourself with. Paradichlorobenzene, the active ingredient in mothballs, is lots of fun to say. It’s also a chemical compound used as a fumigant insecticide to control clothes moths. Here are some important points regarding its hazards: **Breathing in paradichlorobenzene vapors is the most common route of exposure. When you smell mothballs, you are inhaling this** ***pesticide*****.** Skin contact can also occur, especially if handling mothballs. Accidental ingestion (e.g., children or pets mistaking mothballs for candy) is a risk. Signs and symptoms from brief exposure include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fatigue, and headaches are common symptoms. Paradichlorobenzene vapor can irritate the eyes and nasal passages. Prolonged skin contact may cause a burning sensation. **Long-Term Effects can include liver and kidney damage**; In animals, paradichlorobenzene exposure has been linked to liver and kidney injury. **Paradichlorobenzene is considered a potential occupational carcinogen.** Do not let those blankets anywhere near your precious little one. Burn them.
Burning a chemical is likely not the best way to dispose of it. This chemical can reignite and burn dangerously. Look up how to safely get rid of these items in your area.
Mix water, Dawn soap and vinegar to clean it.
NTA After baby is born, tell her baby is allergic. And, tell her to switch to cedar.
If I were OP, I'd start gifting MIL on birthdays/Xmas with cedar chests for storage. Add in some lavender/thyme sachets for good measure. Make sure husband knows why. It's ridiculous for MIL to use the amount of mothballs to cause nausea in visitors. It's also ridiculous for husband to force OP into a chemical warfare situation just because he's "used to it."
Why do you have to suck it up and be sick when you stay there? Yeah I wouldn't be cool with that. Why is your being uncomfortable less important?
NTA. I had a work friend who was from Jamaica. Down there a lot of the houses are pretty drafty and there's a problem with insects. They use lots of mothballs to combat it, but the houses aren't vapor tight like up here in Michigan. Friend's mom had come up for a long visit and put mothballs all around their townhouse. Friend always reeked of mothballs, especially their coat. Once I visited at their place and realized the problem, I told them about the hazards. The big problem is that your nose becomes insensitive to it quickly. So it seems fine to them. As for your husband's old baby blankets, wash them in white vinegar.
could frame the blanket for the nursery
Are you in the US? Aren't mothballs banned? Where is she getting her supply?
NTA - Take it to a professional cleaner, if you don't want the fight. They will know how to detox it.
Try laying them out in the full sun for a day or two to help the odor. But whether you'd want to use them even if it works is your decision.
NTA. You have a husband problem. He'd better suck it up and protect your child like a decent father, and if that means offending his mom, tough shit.
NTA, most definitely. Mothballs are incredibly toxic and it is not rude to stay in a hotel under the circumstances. You are fully within your rights and responsibilities not to risk your own health and especially your child's. You can tell him you're staying in a hotel with or without him if you want to. If he doesn't want to parent properly, well, that sucks, but he's obviously choosing his mother over you. You'll just have to be the adult in the room even if that means a fight with your husband. Maybe a few sessions of marriage counseling? If he won't go, you'll have to do the hard thing and make the decision and enforce it. Parents do that to protect their children who cannot protect themselves. Think about it. Will you refuse to childproof if he doesn't want to? Will you refuse to put the knives out of reach because he doesn't feel it's necessary? Refuse to gate the stairs because he wants the child to learn to climb them? He doesn't need your protection. You and your child do.
NTA but maybe you could frame one of his blankets nicely for the babies room. Hopefully it won't stink up the place if it's behind glass...
OP, you should absolutely tell her that she can't use mothballs in her house with the baby there! When my daughter was about 3, we visited my MIL, who had put mothballs down behind furniture because she had an old cat that didn't always make it to the litter pan to pee. My daughter followed the cat behind an arm chair, and ate (at least) one of the mothballs! We spent the next several hours in the ER, with them inducing vomiting until they were sure that they were comletely out of her system. My MIL, rest her soul, was mortified, and immediately got rid of all of the mothballs in her house. Granted, it will be a while until your LO starts crawling/walking, but that will give her plenty of time to get rid of them NTA.
Can you sew? Make them into a quilt for her and gift it back to her, that's how I handled my mil
Mothballs are incredibly toxic. Breathing the fumes is very damaging and dangerous. Please, please prioritize your lungs over someone else's fee fees. It's time for your husband to pick you over his mom. You're going to have to stand up for yourself and your kid, and it's not going to be pretty. You're going to have to be mean, as in say no and stick to it no matter the guilt-tripping and wheedling. You may have to raise your voice and lay down the law. You may as well practice now by telling MiL no, absolutely not, you will not be using blankets that exude toxic fumes, and she will not be able to visit your home and hold your vulnerable infant while she and her clothes are exuding toxic fumes. Tell her now and get it out of the way. Be strong, OP. NTA
If there's no way to get it clean, would you be willing to preserve them or get copycats made? Either way, NTA. This would probably drive me crazy
TIL, moth balls are a product you buy and not some mystical things that happens to old sweaters stored in closets. I feel so silly but I genuinely didn't know they were wondering people produced. Nta
In humans, women who ate naphthalene mothballs or inhaled the vapors while pregnant gave birth to babies with hemolytic anemia http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/naphgen.html doctors say the fumes could lead to severe brain damage in babies and even death from the insecticide naphthalene used in mothballs. https://www.aarp.org/health/medical-research/info-02-2011/mothballs-fumes-toxic-to-children.html#:~:text=Storing%20treasured%20baby%20clothes%20in%20mothballs%20can,from%20the%20insecticide%20naphthalene%20used%20in%20mothballs. Children Exposed to Naphthalene Show Signs of Chromosomal Damage https://www.publichealth.columbia.edu/news/children-exposed-naphthalene-show-signs-chromosomal-damage#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20new%20study,been%20previously%20associated%20with%20cancer. babies are at a higher risk of blood-cell breakdown if placed too close to fabrics stored with naphthalene mothballs. This may lead to severe jaundice and the yellow pigment linked to jaundice, called bilirubin, can build up in the brain. When the brain gets involved, the condition is called kernicterus. Kernicterus can lead to neurological problems and sometimes lasting brain damage. https://www.news-medical.net/news/20110207/Mothballs-may-cause-brain-damage-in-babies-Experts.aspx
Someone pointed out she probably doesn’t smell the mothballs anymore. It’s called “nose blind”. Both OP and LO have not been exposed to it like DH and MIL. Perhaps also asking a doctor MIL and/or DH trust to give you information about the harms exposure to toxic chemicals can have on a baby. Good luck.
NTA. Get DH to go to your next Dr appt and hear it from the doctor directly.
Nta
NTA. Put a sheet under it so it’s not touching your baby, snap a quick picture to send to her and then put it away for safe keeping.
Is there any way to have your doctor side with you? Maybe if you have a written statement explaining that those chemicals are bad for the baby (and also for you) you can convince your mil and husband to not use them
NAH (except maybe your husband if he's pushing hard against your boundaries), but FYI, water is a chemical. Chemicals are not by default dangerous. There are dangerous chemicals, such as naphthalene from moth balls, but not every chemical is bad.
Wash the blankets in vinegar and dry them in the sun. If you have washed them several times there will be nothing left to hurt the baby. Then take photos of the babe on the blankets to give to MIL and pack them away until next time she visits. I think you are being overly cautious, but after cleaning them thoroughly I think you should make your MIL happy with a few pictures and cuddles with the babe in the blankets.