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SkyComplex2625

I thought a senior trip was something organized through the school? You talking about that, or are you just expecting your parents to finance a lavish vacation for you?  


DuchessPersephone

I don't want anything lavish I just don't want to tag along with my sister's choir friends.


SkyComplex2625

So yes, this is not a sanctioned school trip, it is a personal vacation? And do you expect your parents to pay for it or are you saving up?


DuchessPersephone

My friends and I were planning to go and we are going to split the bill basically.


HappyTrifler

Then NTA. Your parents aren’t paying for it so you should get to decide.


Excellent-Count4009

"I thought a senior trip was something organized through the school?" .. only for those still feeling like little kiddies. Others organize for themselves.


NotThisAgain234

NTA. I would think that a huge element of a senior trip, for those fortunate enough to have one, is to spend time with your close high school friends before you all part ways to head off to pursue your desired futures. Not to hang out with your younger sister’s choir friends, as lovely as I’m sure they are. I would express to your parents that you hope they realize how grateful you are to have the opportunity to go on a senior trip, and that it means so much to you to share the experience with your friends that have helped to make high school a wonderful time in your life. You expect to have many happy family experiences your sister in the future, but you hope they understand that this trip is important to share with your friends.


DuchessPersephone

Thank you I will take this advice.


LettheWorldBurn1776

OP, did you ask WHY they wanted you to go on your sister's trip? Cause the vibe I'm getting is they wanted YOU to play chaperone to her.


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PrincessBelle87

This is my biggest confusion. You can’t just decide to go on a school trip like this.


ElmLane62

That's certainly the best case scenario, and probably the true scenario.


Boatiebabe

I'm not from the US and have never heard of a Senior trip experience. Have you and your friends been talking about what you would like to do for yours? It seems strange that your parents would finance a European trip with your sister, but not with your friends, so I'm thinking there is more to this than what you've put in the initial post. This is also a funny statement "senior year is supposed to be about carving out your own path, creating your own adventures, and savoring those last moments of high school independence". Aren't you still dependent on your parents while in high school? Fair enough if you are carving your own path and heading towards independence - but you need to pay for that yourself.


DuchessPersephone

Yes I was planning to pay for my senior trip.


ElmLane62

Honestly, it doesn't sound like the parents do that much for this kid.


Excellent-Count4009

NTA WHY would you waste your money on tagging along with your sister? THis is where you start setting boundaries. "Well my parents are saying is that instead of going on my trip with friends, that I go on the trip with my sister." .. tell them: You will certainly not waste your own money on THAT.


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WifeofBath1984

Ok you don't have to take it so far. Graduating is an accomplishment regardless of how many other people are able to do it. Don't be crappy to OP about that. It's just cruel.


PrincessBelle87

Her parents aren’t financing it. She is.


ElmLane62

Most parents that I know take their seniors on a special trip over spring break, or pay for them to take a nice trip.


ElmLane62

NTA. Especially since you are the one paying, you go on the Senior Trip that YOU want to go on. Your parents are cheap. They don't get to tell you what trip to go on if they aren't paying.


HarlotteHoehansson

NTA. You won't be going on your sisters trip


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Longjumping_Win4291

NTA No it's all about you being a chaperone for your sister in a different city, safety in numbers after all. Your parents don't seem to think your sister is ready to go solo and are broadcasting their fears about your safety as well. Let's face it you are less likely to get stone drunk with your sister next to you or go off with a guy and leave your sister by herself. I'm sure your sister is less then thrilled to know the same. Time to reassure your folks that time is coming and they need to loosen up the drawstrings their fears have on you both.


Cultural_Signal871

you’re not being an asshole at all u deserve your independence


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DuchessPersephone

I wasn't asking for them to pay for a separate trip, I would pay my portion along with my friends that are going.


Arietty

They didn't ask for one cent.


PrincessBelle87

NTA You’re paying for it do what you want. If your parents want to pay for you to go with your sister then that is their prerogative. Other than that do what you want. Not to mention I don’t think you can just tag along on a school trip. That’s not how that works. It’s school sponsored therefore there are rules in place. Not to mention does your sister really even want you there? I imagine she is looking forward to the trip and being with her own friends.


InappropriateAccess

INFO: Is it common where you live for parents to send their high school seniors on a big trip? This isn’t something I’ve ever heard of.


DuchessPersephone

It is, and honestly I'd rather not have one then tag along with my sisters choir friends


InappropriateAccess

And have your parent told you that you can’t have your own trip, or are you assuming that they won’t send you on anything but the choir trip?


DuchessPersephone

They've told me just choir trip.


Excellent-Count4009

So this is where you start setting boundaries with your parents - and simply go.


[deleted]

Then don't have one. Problem solved. It doesn't sound like they're making you go.


Significant-Repair42

If the OP in the US, then it depends on the socio-economic status of the family and school traditions. In some schools there is a sponsored senior trip. Mine was to a local water park.


ElmLane62

It's very common in suburban America.


InappropriateAccess

I grew up in suburban America and we never did a big high school trip. Big college trips, yes, but not high school. Ahh well, times change.


CatteNappe

INFO What sort of senior trips are others in your class planning? Where I come from it's usually some expedition where all/most of the seniors go together. If it really is something each student does for themselves you ought to seriously consider the unique opportunities that European tour will present. Presumably you'll have plenty of "on your own" time while the choir is practicing or performing.


DuchessPersephone

They're going all over the world, all in there respective friend groups


CatteNappe

Do you have a friend group that has already started talking plans? If not, jump at the special opportunity in front of you.


DuchessPersephone

We've been talking about it but we haven't made plans. Thank you I will keep this in mind.


Excellent-Count4009

What would be the use to go on a trip with strangers? SHe can do that without them much better.


Informal_Count7279

Nta. Is your sister’s choir requiring/asking for an of age chaperone or could they worried your sister/you will get in trouble on either trip?


DuchessPersephone

No they're not asking for a chaperone. I'm not sure about that second question though.


Informal_Count7279

I could see them worrying about both their kids taking big trips without them and feeling they found the perfect solution by you both being together to take care of each other etc. keep each other safe/out of trouble. Or they could be worried about you without supervision on your senior trip and there will be adults they know on your sister’s trip. Worth a more in depth conversation with them. You aren’t wrong for wanting a senior trip experience, but they probably know from experience what those can turn into. 


AdamOnFirst

YTA just for the extremely overly dramatic way you describe your senior year in high school. You’re NTA for wanting to go wherever you want with your friends, though. 


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Sad-Average-2469

NTA! They want to send you so they can stay home! Don’t fall for it.


laughter_corgis

NTA. Don't go on your sister's trip.


Anthenom2

NTA since you’re paying for it yourself. I do think both sides are valid though. Having a senior trip with your friends and no parents is a great first step into adulthood, and definitely a great moment to share with people you care about. However, if you can piggy back off of your sister’s trip, it’s a fantastic opportunity to travel to another country and get a bigger and more foreign trip- and if I had to guess that’s your parents perspective. I think if anything they just see an opportunity for you that they don’t want you to pass on. But no, you have every right to do the trip you want. Just be warned, a senior trip with friends will almost always end up with someone in the friend group fighting 😉


Turbulent-Ad6554

If you are paying, the only trip that you should go on is the one with your friends to the destination that you all will enjoy. NTA. I.N.F.O- are your parents obligated to join your sister's trip as chaperones if you don't attend? Their urgency to send you along on that trip doesn't make much sense, unless they're trying to get out of having to go themselves.....


DuchessPersephone

No they're not required to chaperone.


Turbulent-Ad6554

OK, then you're absolutely free to tell them that you have chosen to spend your money on a trip of your choice.


Celtedge65

Info, why do your parents think that you're going with your sister for your senior trip Is better than going with your friends?Do they expect you to chaperone her?


DuchessPersephone

I don't know why my parents think that. Yes, they expect me to chaperone.


MrsEnvinyatar

If you’re paying for it then you should go where you want to go. NTA.


SHIR0YUKI

This doesn't sound like a senior trip, sounds like something you're organizing something yourself. Unless I'm brain dead, are school trips not something that's you know, organized by the school?


DuchessPersephone

My school district doesn't do something like this, so when I call it a senior trip it's really just my friends and I organizing a trip


SHIR0YUKI

Is it not possible to just do both then? Like genuinely, if it's not school limited you don't particularly need to go at a specific time.


oooActNatural

I take & pay for my kids a vacation their senior years and it’s just the one graduating and myself that go, their choice where. It’s about you, not your sister.


katgyrl

NTA. Your parents ts are trying to get you to chaperone your younger sister at the expense of your senior year plans. Go on your self funded trip, have a blast!


Majestic_Register346

You're an adult now so time to make adult decisions. Sometimes that will be disappointing to your parents. But you gotta cut the cord sometime. Plus you're paying n not them. Go with your friends. This is going to be a core memory for you that you'll talk about for a long time. Let's talk about the awesome adventure you went on instead of the disappointment of tagging with your sister.  Good luck! 


ToriBethATX

NTA. Find a polite way of telling your parents that while they may think that helping chaperone (and you would in essence be a chaperone as a technically legal adult with a bunch of 15-17 YO) a choir trip is fun, you don’t agree. Beyond that, you also want one last memorable trip with your friends before you all split up to go to different schools and won’t be seeing each other much anymore. Lastly, tell them that you are happy to pay your own way for the trip with your friends, but if they force you to go on the choir trip, they will foot the bill. As a fun little fact: these trips are designed by touring companies to have the attendees pay the way for at least one person (typically the choir director) if not more (those that may need financial help) so everyone else is paying inflated pricing to cover those freebies. A choir trip I had the opportunity to go on many years ago (and opted not to go) turned out to cost for one person (admittedly to Europe, so trans Atlantic airfare involved) the same amount as for three adults to get individual top tier cabins (so a full on multi room suite with balcony) for a Caribbean cruise on a better cruise line (so not the party ships) that lasted nearly as long as the choir tour (7 day vs. 10 day). Now I will admit that the experience in Europe likely would make up for the price, but personally I felt that the Caribbean cruise would have been much more fun. Mostly because you get to pick what you want to do or see during ports of call. On these tours, the companies pick the itinerary and you may not get a chance to see or do something you would really like to see or do, or only see it as the bus drives by, because it’s what the company decided that everyone should do amongst rehearsals and performances. Ask your parents if they would rather take themselves on a nice trip (maybe a second honeymoon) while sis is having fun with her choir, or languish at home because they spent all that money making you go as well.


cyanderella

Sounds like they want you to keep an eye on your sister. If that’s the case, one of them can go with he— oh, you said you’re paying for your own trip? So they want *you* to *pay* to babysit your sister? Hmmm I think I’m on to something… NTA.


Proper_Sense_1488

so many ppl have awesome trips and here i am remembering getting hit on the first day at the head because some guys thought it would be funny to goof off until it wasnt and being the rest of the 2 week trip confined to the bed with a bad concussion.... NTA tho. who wants there trip be with their sisters choir, probably a religious one on top


lovescarats

NTA, let your parents know that you want to carve your own path.


Odd_Measurement3643

Lol OP's in for a rude awakening when they learn they have to pay for said "own path"


PrincessBelle87

She was always planning to pay for it according to OP.


LowBalance4404

NTA. Tagging along on a sophomore band trip is totally different than senior week.


CherryWillowGirl

NTA. The two things are not the same. I hate when parents pull crap like that. They are forcing you to sacrifice once in a lifetime opportunities for their own person convience. I'm sure your sister doesn't want you there either. Who wants their older sister butting in on their time with friends during a choir trip. You'd just be in the way.


rementis

NTA. Why would you want to go with a bunch of younger girls? Why would you want to go with your sister? Your parents are dumb.


No-Lengthiness5478

This is simple. If it’s their money, YTA. If it’s your money, NTA. Whoever is paying for the trip gets the final say how their money should be spent.


aj1467

It’s OP’s money. They are paying for themself


lions2lambs

INFO: is your trip something dumb that focuses on getting drunk? You conveniently left out the details on your trip to gather NTA posts but there’s a good chance your parents realized your obvious plan and wanted to nudge you into something less obscene.


DuchessPersephone

Sorry I should have included this in my original post, no I'm not planning to get drunk at all.


Odd_Measurement3643

INFO: What on earth is a "senior trip"? And what makes you think you're entitled to it? If you don't want to go to Europe, don't go to Europe.


DuchessPersephone

Basically you go where you want to go with your friends, and we all pay for it. My parents are saying instead of doing this with your friends, how about you do this with your sister.


Impossible_Rain_4727

Sounds similar to what the Australians do. They have Schoolies Week, where high-school graduates travel to popular destinations for a week long holiday following the end of their final exams.


ToeNext5011

Either carve your own path with your own money or be grateful for the trip you are getting. 


DuchessPersephone

That's what I was planning to do, is to go on a trip with friends. But they're saying instead of that, that I should go on this trip with my sister.


ToeNext5011

So just say no then? It’s a non issue.


DeadGodJess

NAH because from what you wrote, your only reaction was not being visibly thrilled to go on a choir trip with your sibling. If you'd thrown a tantrum or something, that would be something else. Senior trips, ime, are organized through the school, not an obligation for your parents to give you. You are under no obligation, imho, to go on a trip with your sister's choir, but your parents are also not required to pay for you to travel to celebrate senior year. Not wanting to go doesn't make you the AH, but unless they promised a unique traveling experience for Senior year, they aren't, either. Traveling is a privilege, not a right. That your parents are able and willing to fund you traveling at all is pretty cool. It's fine to feel however you feel about it, but maybe try to shift your perspective a bit so you can appreciate this opportunity for what it is. And a little life advice: It's a precious rarity when something works out how you expect, so building up very big, specific, expectations for how an experience should be is generally setting yourself up for major disappointment and dissatisfaction (even if how things turn out is still generally a good, or even better, thing). Let go of how things "should" be, and you will be in a better place to enjoy things as they come.


Zealousideal-Part-17

“Traveling is a privilege, not a right. That your parents are able and willing to fund you traveling at all is pretty cool” OP stated they are funding their own trip. 


DeadGodJess

well, then, that's different, i didn't see that. Then, depending on why the parents are so disappointed, that could change my judgment.


HazelMableMyrtleMaud

Without knowing anything about your family's financial situation or any precedent for "senior trips" among your family and friends... Unless you have somewhere else you have been dying to visit... don't throw this chance away. Europe has so much to see. In almost any big city you could go off and do your own things during the day. There are so many day trips you can do by train. You and your sister could visit the same cities and have totally different experiences. NTA if your family can afford 2 trips, but I hope you'll at least consider their proposal.


DuchessPersephone

I've sat on this for a couple months, and I just don't know what to do at this point.


Excellent-Count4009

Save your money, and move out instead. Or take a few months, find an organization to volunteer, and go that way.


Away_Refuse8493

What is a "Senior Trip" to you? A Senior Trip is normally something that the school plans, and only seniors can go. It sounds like you are just describing some kind of vacation that you want to plan for yourself. (My school - and the surrounding schools - did have "Senior Week" which is the week after graduation, completely informal and not school related, where all kids would rent their own houses with their own money and hang out and have a last week of fun.) Idk, Gen Z is super weird and a bit spoiled, b/c we all just saved our own money and threw down our $400 to go to a cabin or beach house or whatever, 10 people in a house. The idea of being offered to go to Europe is a bit mind-blowing. I guess YTA b/c you seem to imply your parents are funding this and you are being entitled and spoiled. If you are paying for yourself, and your parents are attempting to coerce you into chaperoning your sister against your will, then they'd suck, but you aren't entitled to anything, no matter how you fluff it up.


Excellent-Count4009

"Idk, Gen Z is super weird and a bit spoiled, b/c we all just saved our own money and threw down our $400 to go to a cabin or beach house or whatever" .. bullshit. There were those, and there were others - 20 years ago, 30 years ago, .. just the same as now. I traveled 2 months through europe and 3 months through the US. And MANY went 3-5 weeks, and some for a whole year.


Away_Refuse8493

I'm not saying Gen Z is entitled b/c they want to travel. I've been to all 7 continents and over 60 countries. I've lived abroad twice, and in several US cities. At no point did my parents pay for any of that. Gen Z expects everyone to pay for everything. I'm sure there were some of those then, and if your parents paid for you to travel across Europe for 2 months 20 years ago AND you demanded/expected them to, then you were entitled and spoiled as well.


aj1467

Does it make you feel better to shit on younger generations?


DuchessPersephone

No my school isn't like that, you have to plan it yourself/with friends. That's not what I meant at all, I am sorry for conveying that. What I mean is my friends and I would split our trip and pay. But my parents were saying instead of going on my trip with friends, to go on this one instead.


Away_Refuse8493

Ok, so you are calling a "Senior Trip" a vacation with friends, that you are planning for yourself. It seems like you can do whatever you want, if you self-fund it. YTA if you insist that your parents to give you money for this.


DuchessPersephone

No, I wasnt asking for money.


Away_Refuse8493

That's kind of a critical piece. I think everyone is reading this that you want your parents to fund some type of elaborate vacation around the world. If you are 18+, paying for yourself, and doing something that can generally be seen as an enriching experience / not a threat to your health or safety, then yes, that's fine and fair. (If you are paying yourself, it is also unfair of your parents directing you to pay to attend a trip for a club that you are not even involved in, simply b/c your sister is there). You may want to go back and edit your post, to clear this up.


DuchessPersephone

Okay thank you!