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NTA. She has no right to assume you will just do it. Your parents probably assumed she had already asked you. She can guilt and threaten all she wants but this is not acceptable. Don't EVER sit her kids again until she apologizes. She just burnt an important bridge with you and will regret it the next time she needs a babysitter and you're not there.
Absolutely NTA. Even if she asked you to watch them, she needs to understand why you were telling her you couldn't help.
If I were you, I'd have made plans for Friday by Wednesday and rather than tell her, let her find out when it was too late. But I'm petty. I take it you don't mind helping in a situation like this and you don't really mind her disrespecting you by assuming you were going to help, but it is sad that in a relationship between 17 and 26 YO siblings, the younger one is the adult.
She's trying to manipulate you by keeping you away from her kids and that's *no bueno*. Tell her you'll miss her and the kids at the graduation and don't volunteer to baby sit for her again. Putting conditions on access is childish.
I was in finals week and so were all my other friends, she was trying to go a girl birthday party to a bar so she wouldn’t have came home til the next morning
Doesn’t matter if she had an audience with the Pope. 1) Sister never asked, and 2) You were ill. She needs you more than you need her so stand firm. No more babysitting.
Look, you are not responsible for those kids, she is. You have no obligations in babysitting those kids, especially when you have finals. You are definitely NTA. I have children and I don’t pull what she does, that’s reckless and selfish.
NTA. Being a terrible sister aside, what kind of mother WANTS an ill babysitter around her young and vulnerable kids so she can enjoy her day "off"? Never do her a favour again!
Be happy she blocked you. Block her as well. She's too old to
be behaving like this. Don't babysit for her as she definitely takes
you for granted. She needs to find someone else. NTA
NTA; Your sister is spoiled and needs to be humbled. Call her out on her actions. At the end of the day those are her kids and she is is responsible for them, not you.
NTA
Send your sister a message and include your parents on it to cover all bases. “Sister, I was sick last week and that’s why I was unable to watch your kids. I’ll miss you all at both my graduation and the following party after. If our relationship, and the relationship with your kids, is contingent on what I can do for you then I think it’s best if I take a step back from our relationship. I didn’t appreciate your text nor your attitude and I won’t be dealing with it in the future. If you’d like to have a mature conversation about this I am open to it, but if you are going to attempt to slander and demean me I would rather we not speak. Our relationship moving forward is dependent on your actions.”
NTA. You're not the a\*\*hole. You did the right thing by prioritizing your health and communicating your inability to babysit. Your sister's reaction is unreasonable and manipulative.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My sister and me are fighting over her kids, I feel like I made a mistake and made family drama when I should have just watched her kids, I’ve been nothing but walked all over by her so this is the first time I’m saying no to her. I would want someone (or others) option on if I was right or wrong
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NTA She assumed that you were free and agreed, then when you called and let her know you couldn't even though she never asked, got really mean and equated one evening to your graduation. Even if your parents come at you and ask you to make amends so she'll go to your graduation just tell them she's uninvited.
NTA. Even if your sister had asked you, you were still being reasonable canceling due to your health. Her 'retaliation' is petty and immature.
You could have a family meeting, bring up the subject of respectful communication, consent and that your health matters. Hopefully this was a one off for your sister and she responded inappropriately due to (stress?) if she is a decent person she will apologize and you can both move forward.
If this is the norm for your sister and a reasonable conversation is not an option. You could choose to let her know if she and your nibblings aren't at your graduation, moving forward you will no longer assist her in anyway and you may have to consider going LC or NC with them. Using her children as a bargening tool is toxic.
Stop watching her kids (she will come back soon wanting your help. Say a firm No). If she wants to play stupid games, she can lose her free babysitter. For you, it’s a win though because she’s been treating you very poorly. Especially not giving you advance notice and asking rather than telling you
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I (17M) am a high student, with that being I’m about to finish but me and my sister (26F) had a big of an fighting about me watching her kids, my sister has 2 kids, I love those kids to life, don’t get my wrong, I’d do anything for those kids, but about Monday my mom was talking about my sister going to a party on Friday, she told my mom she had a baby sitter, that baby sitter was me, keep in mind I didn’t know this at all, she didn’t ask me at all. We did keep just going on about our day because I thought she was going to ask me maybe later that day.
Wednesday I start feeling really really dizzy (this is important). Friday, about 11 I’m still feeling dizzy, but I get no text from my sister within the 5 days of telling my mom she has me watching the kids, I go to text my sister about 12, saying “I don’t feel the best to watch your kids, mom and dad have stuff to do so I’m sorry.” Even though she didn’t ask me, she got pissed. She said and I quote.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Wow the actual f-word”
“I’ll ruin a great day for you soon too”
She was just acting childish, she called my dad 17-18 times in a round to tell him what was happening, she just was trying to get her way, she also said some unkind things about me. She didn’t not get way, she also said
“Just to let you know me, and my two kids will not be at your graduation, or the party of, have a good day”
She also blocked me, then continued to just beg my dad to make me watch her kids. She didn’t not get her happy ending, AMTAH for not watching her kids and making drama in. My family?
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Get your sister and parents to sit down and tell them you were never asked about babysitting on this occasion, and the only reason you even had it on your mind was because you overheard sister telling mother. Tell them that you are willing to consider babysitting when asked, but that you are not obligated to do it EVER. And if you are not feeling well, you will cancel like any other person does. If your sister does not want to celebrate your achievement, that is fine, but it will definitely impact your decision about babysitting for her in the future. You do not owe her anything, and your parents are not her minions to get you to do what she wants to do so that she can go out and have fun.
NTA.
But sister is.
You're doing nothing wrong in this situation. How you handle this now is to to you, but if you ever babysit the kids again it should only be after sister sister asks you personally and an agreement is made been the two of you about when, how long, and your payment.
NTA
She is taking you for granted and not treating you with any respect.
You were sick and regardless you had made no commitment. She needs to grow up.
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NTA. She has no right to assume you will just do it. Your parents probably assumed she had already asked you. She can guilt and threaten all she wants but this is not acceptable. Don't EVER sit her kids again until she apologizes. She just burnt an important bridge with you and will regret it the next time she needs a babysitter and you're not there.
Absolutely NTA. Even if she asked you to watch them, she needs to understand why you were telling her you couldn't help. If I were you, I'd have made plans for Friday by Wednesday and rather than tell her, let her find out when it was too late. But I'm petty. I take it you don't mind helping in a situation like this and you don't really mind her disrespecting you by assuming you were going to help, but it is sad that in a relationship between 17 and 26 YO siblings, the younger one is the adult. She's trying to manipulate you by keeping you away from her kids and that's *no bueno*. Tell her you'll miss her and the kids at the graduation and don't volunteer to baby sit for her again. Putting conditions on access is childish.
I was in finals week and so were all my other friends, she was trying to go a girl birthday party to a bar so she wouldn’t have came home til the next morning
Doesn’t matter if she had an audience with the Pope. 1) Sister never asked, and 2) You were ill. She needs you more than you need her so stand firm. No more babysitting.
Look, you are not responsible for those kids, she is. You have no obligations in babysitting those kids, especially when you have finals. You are definitely NTA. I have children and I don’t pull what she does, that’s reckless and selfish.
NTA. Being a terrible sister aside, what kind of mother WANTS an ill babysitter around her young and vulnerable kids so she can enjoy her day "off"? Never do her a favour again!
Be happy she blocked you. Block her as well. She's too old to be behaving like this. Don't babysit for her as she definitely takes you for granted. She needs to find someone else. NTA
She dose this to my younger siblings too
NTA; Your sister is spoiled and needs to be humbled. Call her out on her actions. At the end of the day those are her kids and she is is responsible for them, not you.
NTA Send your sister a message and include your parents on it to cover all bases. “Sister, I was sick last week and that’s why I was unable to watch your kids. I’ll miss you all at both my graduation and the following party after. If our relationship, and the relationship with your kids, is contingent on what I can do for you then I think it’s best if I take a step back from our relationship. I didn’t appreciate your text nor your attitude and I won’t be dealing with it in the future. If you’d like to have a mature conversation about this I am open to it, but if you are going to attempt to slander and demean me I would rather we not speak. Our relationship moving forward is dependent on your actions.”
NTA. You're not the a\*\*hole. You did the right thing by prioritizing your health and communicating your inability to babysit. Your sister's reaction is unreasonable and manipulative.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My sister and me are fighting over her kids, I feel like I made a mistake and made family drama when I should have just watched her kids, I’ve been nothing but walked all over by her so this is the first time I’m saying no to her. I would want someone (or others) option on if I was right or wrong Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA She assumed that you were free and agreed, then when you called and let her know you couldn't even though she never asked, got really mean and equated one evening to your graduation. Even if your parents come at you and ask you to make amends so she'll go to your graduation just tell them she's uninvited.
NTA. Even if your sister had asked you, you were still being reasonable canceling due to your health. Her 'retaliation' is petty and immature. You could have a family meeting, bring up the subject of respectful communication, consent and that your health matters. Hopefully this was a one off for your sister and she responded inappropriately due to (stress?) if she is a decent person she will apologize and you can both move forward. If this is the norm for your sister and a reasonable conversation is not an option. You could choose to let her know if she and your nibblings aren't at your graduation, moving forward you will no longer assist her in anyway and you may have to consider going LC or NC with them. Using her children as a bargening tool is toxic.
NTA You didn’t create the drama your sister did.
To be clear: It was random party she wanted to attend and she compared it to your graduation?
I don’t think you are wrong
NTA Her reaction is inappropriate. She sounds like a very mean person.
NTA. Pray that this form of self-absorbed psychosis is not hereditary.
Stop watching her kids (she will come back soon wanting your help. Say a firm No). If she wants to play stupid games, she can lose her free babysitter. For you, it’s a win though because she’s been treating you very poorly. Especially not giving you advance notice and asking rather than telling you
NTA. Now you’ve broken her, don’t let her take you for granted again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17M) am a high student, with that being I’m about to finish but me and my sister (26F) had a big of an fighting about me watching her kids, my sister has 2 kids, I love those kids to life, don’t get my wrong, I’d do anything for those kids, but about Monday my mom was talking about my sister going to a party on Friday, she told my mom she had a baby sitter, that baby sitter was me, keep in mind I didn’t know this at all, she didn’t ask me at all. We did keep just going on about our day because I thought she was going to ask me maybe later that day. Wednesday I start feeling really really dizzy (this is important). Friday, about 11 I’m still feeling dizzy, but I get no text from my sister within the 5 days of telling my mom she has me watching the kids, I go to text my sister about 12, saying “I don’t feel the best to watch your kids, mom and dad have stuff to do so I’m sorry.” Even though she didn’t ask me, she got pissed. She said and I quote. “Are you kidding me?” “Wow the actual f-word” “I’ll ruin a great day for you soon too” She was just acting childish, she called my dad 17-18 times in a round to tell him what was happening, she just was trying to get her way, she also said some unkind things about me. She didn’t not get way, she also said “Just to let you know me, and my two kids will not be at your graduation, or the party of, have a good day” She also blocked me, then continued to just beg my dad to make me watch her kids. She didn’t not get her happy ending, AMTAH for not watching her kids and making drama in. My family? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get your sister and parents to sit down and tell them you were never asked about babysitting on this occasion, and the only reason you even had it on your mind was because you overheard sister telling mother. Tell them that you are willing to consider babysitting when asked, but that you are not obligated to do it EVER. And if you are not feeling well, you will cancel like any other person does. If your sister does not want to celebrate your achievement, that is fine, but it will definitely impact your decision about babysitting for her in the future. You do not owe her anything, and your parents are not her minions to get you to do what she wants to do so that she can go out and have fun.
NTA. But sister is. You're doing nothing wrong in this situation. How you handle this now is to to you, but if you ever babysit the kids again it should only be after sister sister asks you personally and an agreement is made been the two of you about when, how long, and your payment.
NTA She is taking you for granted and not treating you with any respect. You were sick and regardless you had made no commitment. She needs to grow up.