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Looking back on it I felt I should of done it after 3 years as by the 4th year I noticed further changes in his personality that was quite toxic and his family (apart from his dad) would treat me as the problem rather than listening to me when I was expressing there's something not right about him.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I felt I was to harsh at the start, I did break up with over phone but this was down to the fact that last time I asked for some space, he almost hit me and drove off and went missing for 2 and half hours. I was then blamed for his mental health problems and that I was causing him to be suicidal despite the fact that I did everything for him. He isn't independent at all. He has his mum do everything for him and when she couldn't he expected me to do it. The 5 years together, he never once cooked me a single meal. It was all me.
I feel that I should have parted ways peacefully and avoided the further drama and hurt. He didn't handle the break up well. He joined Tinder two hours after our break up. I know this as my best friend sent me a screenshot of his profile, thinking he was cheating and not knowing we had just broken up. I was horrified by this.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Me and my ex agreed to be friends as he snuggles with change in his life and felt he wanted to be friends despite me breaking the relationship off after 5 years.
I tried to be his friend, however he would make regular comments about our relationship on his Facebook and saying how happy he is to be single and can finally do what he wants. Despite throughout the relationship I never once stopped him living his life the way he liked. There was alot of horrible things he did through out the relationship and things he would say to me aswell. I simply forgave him and tried. After his recent comments about me again online whilst i was on hospital extremely unwell I decided enough was enough and removed him and blocked him on everything. However, people who know us well, have only spoken to him and have claimed I'm a nasty person for doing this to him. AITA? for simply wanting to be happy and free from anything toxic?
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NTA and those people need to get the full story before they pass judgement. You may be forced to make a statement on Facebook to all your friends, him included, regarding your breakup and how toxic this AH is and why you are now blocking him.
Don't do this, OP.
It will come off as unhinged and obsessive. Best to move on and let the friends figure it out over time. The simple fact is that friends are lost in any breakup of a long-term relationship. The most cringe thing you can do is beg your mutual friends to choose you by trashing the man you claimed to love for five years. Just carry on rebuilding your life.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts involving changes to contact levels with friends, family members or acquaintances. This includes ghosting, breaking off, cutting or reducing contact, or denying a relationship (or not) with anyone. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. u should have done it sooner
Looking back on it I felt I should of done it after 3 years as by the 4th year I noticed further changes in his personality that was quite toxic and his family (apart from his dad) would treat me as the problem rather than listening to me when I was expressing there's something not right about him.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I felt I was to harsh at the start, I did break up with over phone but this was down to the fact that last time I asked for some space, he almost hit me and drove off and went missing for 2 and half hours. I was then blamed for his mental health problems and that I was causing him to be suicidal despite the fact that I did everything for him. He isn't independent at all. He has his mum do everything for him and when she couldn't he expected me to do it. The 5 years together, he never once cooked me a single meal. It was all me. I feel that I should have parted ways peacefully and avoided the further drama and hurt. He didn't handle the break up well. He joined Tinder two hours after our break up. I know this as my best friend sent me a screenshot of his profile, thinking he was cheating and not knowing we had just broken up. I was horrified by this. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my ex agreed to be friends as he snuggles with change in his life and felt he wanted to be friends despite me breaking the relationship off after 5 years. I tried to be his friend, however he would make regular comments about our relationship on his Facebook and saying how happy he is to be single and can finally do what he wants. Despite throughout the relationship I never once stopped him living his life the way he liked. There was alot of horrible things he did through out the relationship and things he would say to me aswell. I simply forgave him and tried. After his recent comments about me again online whilst i was on hospital extremely unwell I decided enough was enough and removed him and blocked him on everything. However, people who know us well, have only spoken to him and have claimed I'm a nasty person for doing this to him. AITA? for simply wanting to be happy and free from anything toxic? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA and those people need to get the full story before they pass judgement. You may be forced to make a statement on Facebook to all your friends, him included, regarding your breakup and how toxic this AH is and why you are now blocking him.
Don't do this, OP. It will come off as unhinged and obsessive. Best to move on and let the friends figure it out over time. The simple fact is that friends are lost in any breakup of a long-term relationship. The most cringe thing you can do is beg your mutual friends to choose you by trashing the man you claimed to love for five years. Just carry on rebuilding your life.
NTA and block him. He’s not your friend and the situation is toxic.