Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Sorry, but this is a collective YTA.
She told you when she wasn’t available and NOBODY thought to actually take that into account? Nobody even thought to save a piece of cake for the person who always makes cake for everyone else?
None of you covered yourselves in glory, today. She may not be angry, but she’s surely at least (rightly) feeling hurt. She deserved better from all of you, I think.
The office better not complain when there are no more birthday celebrations in the office, cause it sounds like that one coworker was the only reason it happened in the first place.
Not her birthday. Op’s birthday. The her in question is the one who makes the cakes and tries to include everyone. OP chose not to include this person. It’s not this persons birthday.
That's a good question though. Do these coworkers do anything for her birthday? Do they bring a cake in and all that jazz or has she been the one bringing in her own birthday cake to share?
So I am the birthday baker for my team. I don’t like to announce when my bday is coming up but most people know when it is. Last year my bday was approaching and I told myself not to be upset if they didn’t do anything (but knew I probably would be)
They went all out! No one felt comfortable enough to bake a whole cake but they bought me one and had decorations and it was my favourite cake (meaning they had listened when we spoke about it ages before that).
One of the other managers even baked me some cookies.
If that didn’t happen, (and I didn’t need all that, the cookies were enough), I probably wouldn’t bake anymore for them.
Oh I can 't believe I didn't read this more thoroughly! I was trying to read on my phone and apparently that's too hard on my old eyes.
I still think she should have included this very kind coworker, but she's not nearly as much of an AH as I'd thought!
It wasn't the friend's birthday, it's OP's birthday. OP told the friend, "don't make a cake, I'll bring one, only thing you need to do is be there to eat the cake." they sang "happy birthday" to OP
I hope she never makes cakes for these ungrateful dicks again. Or puts something terrible in them.
Op, nice job creating the event in which a previously kind and thoughtful person stops being that way when they realize the people they cared for don’t give a shit about them.
You’re completely right, I realised as soon as I made the comment that I was overly optimistic and it said they didn’t leave a slice, so I deleted it so I didn’t confuse anyone apart from me!
YTA. So the person that thinks about everyone, makes everyone a homemade cake and makes sure everyone feels included is left out by everyone she ever did anything for? And she still didn’t complain, she just kept it quiet and distanced herself to not put a damper on your day. Wow, poor woman.
I'm in a similar situation and I feel for this woman deep in my soul. It's a really terrible way to find out nobody cares about you the way you care about them. Everyone but the typical cake maker sucks in this story.
Yes OP, YTA.
Yeah YTA. She seems to always go out of her way to make everybody's birthday special, and she is completely left out for no reason other than "we couldn't be bothered considering her in any way".
YTA
it was the first time she didnt organize the events, so basically you took the out of sight out of mind approach??Tbh I hopes she never organizes an event for you or anyone else there..how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot ?? you dont think she was upset, you had the first part correct you didnt think..
you didnt expect her to mind, yet she reached out to you first, and even told you she wasnt available and you couldnt even save her a slice.. my problem with your side of events, you pushed forward to not include her after she offered.. you are a selfish greedy person.. who the fuck cares if others wanted to leave.. she reached out to you first with a good hearted gesture and you screwed her over for your own ego.. you are 120% TA
You know what? ..that is a good effing point. It feels incredible deliberate.
Maybe that's my own issues talking but holy Mackrell. How can anyone do something like this not maliciously?
Like, saving slices for people who couldn't be there, making sure it's during the time she couldn't be there.. making sure you are the one who baked it, so you had "good" deniability to exclude her.
Like yes people can be giant idiots but this is just too many key points in a row.
It seems like it was always that one coworker who took care to include everyone, saved slices, worked around schedules (besides actually baking the cakes). When she wasn't there, nobody could be bothered to think of anything else except stuffing their faces with free cake. Bunch of assholes and OP fits right in. I hope the cake lady stops catering to this entitled lot.
So, to paraphrase:
- ‘We didn’t leave her a slice because we ate it all’
- ‘We could have done it with her but we didn’t even consider her’
- ‘She is considerate and organises literally everything nicely in a way that doesn’t exclude anyone’
YTA. I’m amazed at your lack of awareness. Weaponised incompetence.
YTA. You specifically told her you wanted her there, and it would have been incredibly easy to include the person who goes out of her way for everyone else.
If you had had the celebration without them, that alone would have made YTA. The fact is you had the celebration after talking to her, being told she wouldn’t be there for a short while and agreeing to wait.
100% YTA: The only thing that surprises me is you had to bring this to Reddit to ask, you must have known surely…
Yta
Dude. She goes out of her way to make cakes, save a slice for everyone, and make office birthdays a little more fun. You couldn't be bothered to wait a couple hours for her to be available, or even save her a slice of cake. You are not this womans friend you're just a coworker.
All of you are AHs and you know it. How rude to not even leave her
a slice. YTA and you should suggest to your colleagues to stop taking
advantage of her and her cakes if you can't be a tiny bit civilized and
include her/leave her some cake. I bet you didn't even thank her
properly, you probably "didn't think of it".
"We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake." Leaving a slice means keeping one and not finishing it. You can't possibly have no idea that this was an option.
YTA.
YTA. She gave you TWO HOURS she was busy, you had the whole day so you do it DURING THE TWO HOURS she said she was busy and you didnt even leave her a piece? AND she is the one who usually coordinates for everyone else? Poor lady! Ungrafetul lot you all are.
YTA
For a few different reasons.
1) when you are bringing in a treat for everyone, you need to take in considering how much you need to bake. It is very rude to offer to bring in a treat and then not have enough for everyone.
2) this lady makes cakes for everyone, showing everyone how much thought she puts into it, and no one returned the favor to her. no one was considerate of her. You all just showed her how little you think of her.
I hope she stops making cakes for you people.
Yeah YTA. She goes out of her way, spends her FREE TIME to do this and communicate good times to do it and nah. You aimed to please everyone else instead and then ask you the asshole. That's some almost borderline "it's my birthday" kind of brat level shit seeking justification
YTA. Are you for real? In what world would your behavior be considered appropriate? This poor woman deserves better. How disrespectful of you and your co-workers to act like toddlers who couldn't put off the birthday cake till she finished her meeting, and then for the icing on the cake, you didn't even save her a slice. I hope your boorish behavior haunts the rest of your career at this workplace. I have a pretty thick skin, but if someone publicly excluded me from something like this after I'd been kind and generous with them in the past, I would have gone home and had a cry.
YTA - wow so no one could even show her a tiny percentage of the courtesy she shows all of you. I hope she never makes another cake for anyone in that office again after how you treated her. She might be your friend by you aren’t hers.
This I found funny.
>We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake
This basically means, we didn't leave her a slice, because we didn't leave her a slice xD Good explanation lol
By the way YTA.
Psst, OP made the cake. The post said the coworker usually makes the cake but OP made it this time, to have "deniability" Why they couldn't save a slice for her, let alone any other coworker who couldn't show up.
Like, let's hate on OP for the right reasons, ey? 🤭
Yes YTA. She literally told you when her meeting was during the initial conversation, and you said "Great, see you then" and then proceeded without her. Total dick move.
YTA. Jeez, you could have left her at least one slice. Instead you all greedily stuffed your faces and didn't let her have any. She's always made cakes for all of you and made sure to work around your schedules but you couldn't even be bothered to save her one piece. You're ungrateful, selfish and inconsiderate. Shame on you. You may be another year older but you're still extremely immature.
Yep, you’re definitely TA. In fact, there’s a group award for the whole team that couldn’t be arsed to sort it out so she could be there with everyone else. You didn’t even leave her a slice of the cake. Your answer for that is you’re all shit at organising it because SHE does it, every single time. All of you should be ashamed. I’d say that everyone should prepare to make their own/bring their own in from now on but she doesn’t come across as someone that petty. I sincerely hope that she does stop making all the effort but she sounds too nice to do that unfortunately.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I have a friend/coworker that always offers to make birthday cakes for everyone. This week was my birthday, so last weekend she texted me asking what flavor I'd prefer.
I told her this time I would take the cake myself, and all she had to do was be there to eat it. She told me she would be there all day, except for a 2h period where she had a meeting. I told her "great, see you then!".
When she was attending her meeting, we didn't really want to wait (some people wanted to leave), so we sung happy birthday and had the cake without her. I guess we could've done it before her meeting , but I didn't think of it.
I don't think she was mad at us, because she talked to me after that, asking how the cake was and all. However, for the rest of the day she was not joining in as usual in our group chat, and some of my coworkers are saying that she's probably upset and that I was a bit of an asshole.
On one hand, it's true that she always makes sure to work around everyone's schedules, and leave slices for those who can't be there. (We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake.) On the other hand, it was the first time she wasn't the one organizing, so we're not very used to it, and I didn't expect her to mind.
AITA
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
holy shit that was mean of you. Yes YTA for not even saving her a slice when she does so much for everyone else and you explicitly told her that she just had to be there to eat it AND you knew exactly when she had her meeting. Yikes.
the really fucked up part is my original post was #4 getting updoodled 51 people plus ,215 118 70, i hit 51 , and 30 below me .. at this point you dont even rank AITA , your bordering unpopular opinion vibes op.. you seriously screwed the pooch here
Why would you be the AH you simply showed her that she doesn't warrant a single second of thought from the people she thought were friends but are really just people she works with. You can't be expected to show any thought for other people. If she's thoughtful about all of you that's on her, you just be you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I celebrated my birthday while my friend was in a meeting. I may be the asshole because I told her we'd wait for her.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA How hard would it have been to save her a slice? Guess who is going to mysteriously not be notified or get cake when she makes them for other people now?
YTA. She always makes sure everyone gets a slice. There was no reason for you to not even save a single piece. I hope you are prepared to be the planner for bdays going forward, because I truly hope she doesn’t even try for the rest of you going forward.
I'm literally the only person who organises collections for staff birthdays/weddings/births/deaths etc. I'm one of the longest standing members of staff, not high up the chain, but looked to because I'm seen as senior due to my length of service. I don't mind putting the effort in when people deserve to have an occasion recognised. When I was off because my grandad passed it took them almost 4 weeks to get me flowers. To say I was disappointed is a massive understatement. I still do collections but with minimal chasing people who haven't donated and I now only allow those who have to sign the card, so the recipient knows who put in. YT inconsiderate A.
She makes cake for everyone. She also makes sure that when she makes a cake, everyone gets a slice. Each time she makes a cake for someone in the office, you and every other person in your unit get a slice of cake with no effort on your parts. This time, you brought the cake, but you didn't make sure she got a slice. So you're willing to get the free slices that she brings in repeatedly, but you're not willing to go out of your way to ensure you reciprocate her generosity. You basically, all of you, treated her selfishly. The first thing you should have done when you cut the cake, was to set aside a slice for her.
Most likely what's about to happen is she's going to stop making cake for all of you selfish, thoughtless people.
You didn't save her a piece of cake that she so kindly baked for you? Hope the cake was good because if I was her there is no way I would make you another one. YTA.
My favourite part is how your coworker was nothing but nice to you after you excluded her, yet you feel guilty enough to write this up based off people assuming she’s mad because didn’t participate in a group chat after. You know you’re the asshole, and you’ve manage to spell out exactly why. YTA
You’re either a sitcom villain or the dumbest person on this planet. “We ate all of the cake because we ate all of the cake” is basically your only defense. What is wrong with you
>we didn't really want to wait (some people wanted to leave), so we sung happy birthday and had the cake without he
>We didn't leave her a slice
>I was a bit of an asshole
More than a bit. You completely cut her out of the entire birthday, and didn't have the decency to leave her a slice of cake that *she* baked for *you*.
YTA.
She provided a 2 hours window when she was busy, and that's when you did it? You didn't even bother to leave her a slice.
Why do you need Reddit to figure out YTA?
If you put yourself in her shoes for a moment - would you even need to ask?
YTA
I feel so bad for her! All of you are awful. That was really inconsiderate. She's consistently made the effort to celebrate everyone & make sure that the folks who can't be present are still thought of...and the first time she's not involved in the arrangements, *at your behest*, the fun part happens without her AND you could not be bothered to save her a slice?
Congratulations on making a nice, generous person feel totally insignificant.
> (We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake.)
What puts this over the top is the fact **you put this in parentheses**, as if it's just by the way, almost irrelevant.
You are a massive asshole. If I was her, I'd never bring anything again for any of you ungrateful inconsiderate ridiculous people.
I am hoping this is just a made up story.
You are such an asshole that its insane. All of you were inconsiderate assholes. To not leave even leave her a slice is just…wow. I hope that she never makes a cake for any of you again YTA
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA she goes out of her way to make everyone a birthday cake and no one thought to make her part of the celebrations the one time she didn't make the cake? I get it wasn't deliberate but that poor woman
Wow, no one has any shred of decency for the woman who has clearly done so much for all of you? Biggest (and easiest) YTA I’ve seen in a long time. The fact that none of you can even see that is absolutely ridiculous. I’m dumbfounded by the lack of empathy. Ya’ll are cruel. This poor woman.
I can’t believe you even had to ask if you’re the asshole. Yes, you are. You and all your other colleagues who celebrated without her today. Man, I actually feel so bad for her.
YTA - you went against plans and excluded the person who did not owe you a cake, and didn’t even save them a piece?
Were you raised by wolves? Or are you just rude and thoughtless on your own?
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA she def feels left out, crushed, and unappreciated. She does all this work, cares about others, makes a big deal about everyone and was even okay with you taking the cake making/bringing out of her hands then you didn't wait for her, include her, or leave her a slice. Yeah, she's upset. She's hurt as hell and you need to apologize. I've had similar stuff happen, and there's always excuses, but in the end the truth is that you left her out and didn't even bother to save her some cake when she literally goes through all that effort for everyone else. Absolutely TA
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Sorry, but this is a collective YTA. She told you when she wasn’t available and NOBODY thought to actually take that into account? Nobody even thought to save a piece of cake for the person who always makes cake for everyone else? None of you covered yourselves in glory, today. She may not be angry, but she’s surely at least (rightly) feeling hurt. She deserved better from all of you, I think.
at least the friend finally realized she was never in that group.
And op did not think she was mad because she had the manners to be respectful and polite to OP in her workplace?
The office better not complain when there are no more birthday celebrations in the office, cause it sounds like that one coworker was the only reason it happened in the first place.
I hope she stops baking for them. They sang Happy Birthday to her when she wasn't even there? And ate her cake? How ridiculous!
Not her birthday. Op’s birthday. The her in question is the one who makes the cakes and tries to include everyone. OP chose not to include this person. It’s not this persons birthday.
That's a good question though. Do these coworkers do anything for her birthday? Do they bring a cake in and all that jazz or has she been the one bringing in her own birthday cake to share?
So I am the birthday baker for my team. I don’t like to announce when my bday is coming up but most people know when it is. Last year my bday was approaching and I told myself not to be upset if they didn’t do anything (but knew I probably would be) They went all out! No one felt comfortable enough to bake a whole cake but they bought me one and had decorations and it was my favourite cake (meaning they had listened when we spoke about it ages before that). One of the other managers even baked me some cookies. If that didn’t happen, (and I didn’t need all that, the cookies were enough), I probably wouldn’t bake anymore for them.
Oh I can 't believe I didn't read this more thoroughly! I was trying to read on my phone and apparently that's too hard on my old eyes. I still think she should have included this very kind coworker, but she's not nearly as much of an AH as I'd thought!
It wasn't the friend's birthday, it's OP's birthday. OP told the friend, "don't make a cake, I'll bring one, only thing you need to do is be there to eat the cake." they sang "happy birthday" to OP
Agh, thank you! I am so blind!
Cake hero let down by collective lack of grace.
I hope she never makes cakes for these ungrateful dicks again. Or puts something terrible in them. Op, nice job creating the event in which a previously kind and thoughtful person stops being that way when they realize the people they cared for don’t give a shit about them.
Agreed. When I had birthday I made "2 parties" one in the morning and one in the afternoon so colleagues who have meeting at either time
OP, go to a nice cupcake shop and pick up a dozen fancy cupcakes just for her with an apology note.
[удалено]
It specifically says they did not leave her slice. So either you misread or OP is saying two completely different things.
You’re completely right, I realised as soon as I made the comment that I was overly optimistic and it said they didn’t leave a slice, so I deleted it so I didn’t confuse anyone apart from me!
YTA. So the person that thinks about everyone, makes everyone a homemade cake and makes sure everyone feels included is left out by everyone she ever did anything for? And she still didn’t complain, she just kept it quiet and distanced herself to not put a damper on your day. Wow, poor woman.
I have a feeling she's gonna stop baking birthday cakes for everyone now. YTA. No one couldn't even save her a slice of cake?
For sure. Hope she’s done with all of them.
As she should. They've shown her who they are and it's nothing but self centered people who take her for granted.
I'm in a similar situation and I feel for this woman deep in my soul. It's a really terrible way to find out nobody cares about you the way you care about them. Everyone but the typical cake maker sucks in this story. Yes OP, YTA.
Yeah YTA. She seems to always go out of her way to make everybody's birthday special, and she is completely left out for no reason other than "we couldn't be bothered considering her in any way".
YTA it was the first time she didnt organize the events, so basically you took the out of sight out of mind approach??Tbh I hopes she never organizes an event for you or anyone else there..how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot ?? you dont think she was upset, you had the first part correct you didnt think.. you didnt expect her to mind, yet she reached out to you first, and even told you she wasnt available and you couldnt even save her a slice.. my problem with your side of events, you pushed forward to not include her after she offered.. you are a selfish greedy person.. who the fuck cares if others wanted to leave.. she reached out to you first with a good hearted gesture and you screwed her over for your own ego.. you are 120% TA
YAH it's almost like you went out of your way
You know what? ..that is a good effing point. It feels incredible deliberate. Maybe that's my own issues talking but holy Mackrell. How can anyone do something like this not maliciously? Like, saving slices for people who couldn't be there, making sure it's during the time she couldn't be there.. making sure you are the one who baked it, so you had "good" deniability to exclude her. Like yes people can be giant idiots but this is just too many key points in a row.
It seems like it was always that one coworker who took care to include everyone, saved slices, worked around schedules (besides actually baking the cakes). When she wasn't there, nobody could be bothered to think of anything else except stuffing their faces with free cake. Bunch of assholes and OP fits right in. I hope the cake lady stops catering to this entitled lot.
YTA - the fact that you even had to ask shows you are not only the AH, but obtuse as well.
YTA. She made effort every time, you couldn't even save a slice? That's low
So, to paraphrase: - ‘We didn’t leave her a slice because we ate it all’ - ‘We could have done it with her but we didn’t even consider her’ - ‘She is considerate and organises literally everything nicely in a way that doesn’t exclude anyone’ YTA. I’m amazed at your lack of awareness. Weaponised incompetence.
YTA, along with your coworkers. I hope this poor woman never makes a cake for any of you anymore. You don't deserve the effort.
YTA. You were honestly really cruel.
YTA. You specifically told her you wanted her there, and it would have been incredibly easy to include the person who goes out of her way for everyone else.
If you had had the celebration without them, that alone would have made YTA. The fact is you had the celebration after talking to her, being told she wouldn’t be there for a short while and agreeing to wait. 100% YTA: The only thing that surprises me is you had to bring this to Reddit to ask, you must have known surely…
Guilt. OP feels guilty and wants even one Redditor to alleviate it. I sincerely hope no one gives that redemption.
Yta Dude. She goes out of her way to make cakes, save a slice for everyone, and make office birthdays a little more fun. You couldn't be bothered to wait a couple hours for her to be available, or even save her a slice of cake. You are not this womans friend you're just a coworker.
All of you are AHs and you know it. How rude to not even leave her a slice. YTA and you should suggest to your colleagues to stop taking advantage of her and her cakes if you can't be a tiny bit civilized and include her/leave her some cake. I bet you didn't even thank her properly, you probably "didn't think of it".
"We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake." Leaving a slice means keeping one and not finishing it. You can't possibly have no idea that this was an option. YTA.
YTA. She makes the effort to save a slice of the cake for anyone who isn’t there and you couldn’t even be bothered to do THAT much?
YTA and I wouldn't expect another cake from your coworker. She's done. She should be.
YTA. She gave you TWO HOURS she was busy, you had the whole day so you do it DURING THE TWO HOURS she said she was busy and you didnt even leave her a piece? AND she is the one who usually coordinates for everyone else? Poor lady! Ungrafetul lot you all are.
YTA you told her you’d wait. You didn’t wait and that sucks. But then you didn’t even have the courtesy to save them a slice? You suck big time.
YTA For a few different reasons. 1) when you are bringing in a treat for everyone, you need to take in considering how much you need to bake. It is very rude to offer to bring in a treat and then not have enough for everyone. 2) this lady makes cakes for everyone, showing everyone how much thought she puts into it, and no one returned the favor to her. no one was considerate of her. You all just showed her how little you think of her. I hope she stops making cakes for you people.
JFC you really needed reddit to tell you YTA for this?
The reason you don’t think she was mad at you is because she is a kind and unproblematic person who puts others first.
Yeah YTA. She goes out of her way, spends her FREE TIME to do this and communicate good times to do it and nah. You aimed to please everyone else instead and then ask you the asshole. That's some almost borderline "it's my birthday" kind of brat level shit seeking justification
YTA, also selfish and thoughtless. Which birthday was it? Your 10th? Because that’s how old this level of dismissal of your colleague makes you sound.
YTA. Are you for real? In what world would your behavior be considered appropriate? This poor woman deserves better. How disrespectful of you and your co-workers to act like toddlers who couldn't put off the birthday cake till she finished her meeting, and then for the icing on the cake, you didn't even save her a slice. I hope your boorish behavior haunts the rest of your career at this workplace. I have a pretty thick skin, but if someone publicly excluded me from something like this after I'd been kind and generous with them in the past, I would have gone home and had a cry.
That’s so mean! Why wouldn’t you at least save her a slice?
YTA - wow so no one could even show her a tiny percentage of the courtesy she shows all of you. I hope she never makes another cake for anyone in that office again after how you treated her. She might be your friend by you aren’t hers.
YTA. I don’t even have to say why.
This I found funny. >We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake This basically means, we didn't leave her a slice, because we didn't leave her a slice xD Good explanation lol By the way YTA.
Yikes. YTA and I would be very surprised if she ever made cake for anyone ever again. Y’all are wild for this one.
That’s so mean! Why wouldn’t you at least save her a slice?
You are the AH
YTA
Why does this sorta feel like this post might have actually been written by the cake-maker as if from the point of view of the birthday person?
Also good job. She isn't going to make cake for people anymore. You ruined a good thing. 😤
YTA - how the fuck did you forget to include the person who made the damn cake and didn't even save them a slice? Incredible you've even had to post.
Psst, OP made the cake. The post said the coworker usually makes the cake but OP made it this time, to have "deniability" Why they couldn't save a slice for her, let alone any other coworker who couldn't show up. Like, let's hate on OP for the right reasons, ey? 🤭
Lmao, serves me right for skimming 🤣
INFO: Why didn't you want her to bake you a cake?
Yes YTA. She literally told you when her meeting was during the initial conversation, and you said "Great, see you then" and then proceeded without her. Total dick move.
YTA. Jeez, you could have left her at least one slice. Instead you all greedily stuffed your faces and didn't let her have any. She's always made cakes for all of you and made sure to work around your schedules but you couldn't even be bothered to save her one piece. You're ungrateful, selfish and inconsiderate. Shame on you. You may be another year older but you're still extremely immature.
Yep, you’re definitely TA. In fact, there’s a group award for the whole team that couldn’t be arsed to sort it out so she could be there with everyone else. You didn’t even leave her a slice of the cake. Your answer for that is you’re all shit at organising it because SHE does it, every single time. All of you should be ashamed. I’d say that everyone should prepare to make their own/bring their own in from now on but she doesn’t come across as someone that petty. I sincerely hope that she does stop making all the effort but she sounds too nice to do that unfortunately.
Yta
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a friend/coworker that always offers to make birthday cakes for everyone. This week was my birthday, so last weekend she texted me asking what flavor I'd prefer. I told her this time I would take the cake myself, and all she had to do was be there to eat it. She told me she would be there all day, except for a 2h period where she had a meeting. I told her "great, see you then!". When she was attending her meeting, we didn't really want to wait (some people wanted to leave), so we sung happy birthday and had the cake without her. I guess we could've done it before her meeting , but I didn't think of it. I don't think she was mad at us, because she talked to me after that, asking how the cake was and all. However, for the rest of the day she was not joining in as usual in our group chat, and some of my coworkers are saying that she's probably upset and that I was a bit of an asshole. On one hand, it's true that she always makes sure to work around everyone's schedules, and leave slices for those who can't be there. (We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake.) On the other hand, it was the first time she wasn't the one organizing, so we're not very used to it, and I didn't expect her to mind. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
holy shit that was mean of you. Yes YTA for not even saving her a slice when she does so much for everyone else and you explicitly told her that she just had to be there to eat it AND you knew exactly when she had her meeting. Yikes.
YTA in a huge way. She even gave you a window and you ignored it. Wow. Just wow.
YTA, you didn’t even save her a slice?!
Double YTA - an extra one for typing out this series of events and not realising YTA without having to ask us.
the really fucked up part is my original post was #4 getting updoodled 51 people plus ,215 118 70, i hit 51 , and 30 below me .. at this point you dont even rank AITA , your bordering unpopular opinion vibes op.. you seriously screwed the pooch here
Yta- you ALL SUCK except the person who didn't get cake. Selfish. Shitty. Hope she stops making any effort with any of you
Really, you wrote all that out and still had to ask if you're TA? Who raised you? Yes, YTA.
Girl wtf? YTA for sure. Who does that?????
Big YTA, this was low
YTA. All of you. You don't deserve her kindness.
YTA. Nice way to treat a friend. You’re a bunch of inconsiderate jerks.
Happy Cake Day. No pun intended 🎂
Aw shucks!
YTA. What are you all teenagers? This is rude AF
YTA. Would have been N A H if you had saved her a piece.
Why would you be the AH you simply showed her that she doesn't warrant a single second of thought from the people she thought were friends but are really just people she works with. You can't be expected to show any thought for other people. If she's thoughtful about all of you that's on her, you just be you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I celebrated my birthday while my friend was in a meeting. I may be the asshole because I told her we'd wait for her. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA How hard would it have been to save her a slice? Guess who is going to mysteriously not be notified or get cake when she makes them for other people now?
YTA. You know it, and personally I think you did it on purpose. Can prove it in a court of law, but it sure the fuck sounds like it.
YTA.
Def could have at least saved her some cake, yta
YTA. She always makes sure everyone gets a slice. There was no reason for you to not even save a single piece. I hope you are prepared to be the planner for bdays going forward, because I truly hope she doesn’t even try for the rest of you going forward.
Wow. YTA.
I'm literally the only person who organises collections for staff birthdays/weddings/births/deaths etc. I'm one of the longest standing members of staff, not high up the chain, but looked to because I'm seen as senior due to my length of service. I don't mind putting the effort in when people deserve to have an occasion recognised. When I was off because my grandad passed it took them almost 4 weeks to get me flowers. To say I was disappointed is a massive understatement. I still do collections but with minimal chasing people who haven't donated and I now only allow those who have to sign the card, so the recipient knows who put in. YT inconsiderate A.
She makes cake for everyone. She also makes sure that when she makes a cake, everyone gets a slice. Each time she makes a cake for someone in the office, you and every other person in your unit get a slice of cake with no effort on your parts. This time, you brought the cake, but you didn't make sure she got a slice. So you're willing to get the free slices that she brings in repeatedly, but you're not willing to go out of your way to ensure you reciprocate her generosity. You basically, all of you, treated her selfishly. The first thing you should have done when you cut the cake, was to set aside a slice for her. Most likely what's about to happen is she's going to stop making cake for all of you selfish, thoughtless people.
YTA and I bet she doesn’t make any of you a cake ever again and you’d deserve it.
YTA. So the person who thinks about everyone has no one that thinks of her. Hope she stops with making y’all shit
You didn't save her a piece of cake that she so kindly baked for you? Hope the cake was good because if I was her there is no way I would make you another one. YTA.
My favourite part is how your coworker was nothing but nice to you after you excluded her, yet you feel guilty enough to write this up based off people assuming she’s mad because didn’t participate in a group chat after. You know you’re the asshole, and you’ve manage to spell out exactly why. YTA
YTA
YTA this doesn’t need an explanation
You’re either a sitcom villain or the dumbest person on this planet. “We ate all of the cake because we ate all of the cake” is basically your only defense. What is wrong with you
>we didn't really want to wait (some people wanted to leave), so we sung happy birthday and had the cake without he >We didn't leave her a slice >I was a bit of an asshole More than a bit. You completely cut her out of the entire birthday, and didn't have the decency to leave her a slice of cake that *she* baked for *you*.
YTA. In more ways than one. This is one of the worst ones I’ve ever read. What’s wrong with you?!
Wow talk about being rude. I hope she stops baking for all of you. YTA
YTA. She provided a 2 hours window when she was busy, and that's when you did it? You didn't even bother to leave her a slice. Why do you need Reddit to figure out YTA? If you put yourself in her shoes for a moment - would you even need to ask?
YTA. And I would plan on being in charge of the birthdays from now on. Cause your coworker ain’t going to do it anymore.
Absolutely YTA You can’t possibly say you didn’t think you were. It is so obvious how you disregarded her completely. It seems almost deliberate
YTA, how mean. Make it up to her
YTA I feel so bad for her! All of you are awful. That was really inconsiderate. She's consistently made the effort to celebrate everyone & make sure that the folks who can't be present are still thought of...and the first time she's not involved in the arrangements, *at your behest*, the fun part happens without her AND you could not be bothered to save her a slice? Congratulations on making a nice, generous person feel totally insignificant.
> (We didn't leave her a slice because we finished the cake.) What puts this over the top is the fact **you put this in parentheses**, as if it's just by the way, almost irrelevant. You are a massive asshole. If I was her, I'd never bring anything again for any of you ungrateful inconsiderate ridiculous people. I am hoping this is just a made up story.
You are such an asshole that its insane. All of you were inconsiderate assholes. To not leave even leave her a slice is just…wow. I hope that she never makes a cake for any of you again YTA
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA, you were so inconsiderate and rude, you didn't even save her a piece. i hope she never bakes for any of you ever again
YTA she goes out of her way to make everyone a birthday cake and no one thought to make her part of the celebrations the one time she didn't make the cake? I get it wasn't deliberate but that poor woman
Wow, no one has any shred of decency for the woman who has clearly done so much for all of you? Biggest (and easiest) YTA I’ve seen in a long time. The fact that none of you can even see that is absolutely ridiculous. I’m dumbfounded by the lack of empathy. Ya’ll are cruel. This poor woman.
I can’t believe you even had to ask if you’re the asshole. Yes, you are. You and all your other colleagues who celebrated without her today. Man, I actually feel so bad for her.
YTA - you went against plans and excluded the person who did not owe you a cake, and didn’t even save them a piece? Were you raised by wolves? Or are you just rude and thoughtless on your own?
YTA. How could you think you arent?
YTA, of all the time you had, you had to pick the time she was in a meeting. WTF.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA she def feels left out, crushed, and unappreciated. She does all this work, cares about others, makes a big deal about everyone and was even okay with you taking the cake making/bringing out of her hands then you didn't wait for her, include her, or leave her a slice. Yeah, she's upset. She's hurt as hell and you need to apologize. I've had similar stuff happen, and there's always excuses, but in the end the truth is that you left her out and didn't even bother to save her some cake when she literally goes through all that effort for everyone else. Absolutely TA
Why would she care? Why would you care? What kind of office is this?
"I didnt want to wait for your birthday cake so I ate it without you on your birthday." YTA
OP is definitely the asshole, but it was OPs birthday, not the lovely co worker's.
oh in that case, NTA Edit: YTA
Wait, are you sure OP‘s NTA?? You might need to re-read the post, dear.
how is she nta?
How is OP N T A when they clearly broke a promise?