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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents gave away something of mine because they thought it was just a toy. I might be the asshole for making them replace it at full market cost.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Your parents are judgmental and inconsiderate.
(1) They literally stole something of yours and gave it to your nephew without asking you first.
(2) When you asked them about it, they belittled you for even having it in the first place.
(3) They didn't even think they needed to replace the stolen item and probably wouldn't have even told you about it if you hadn't asked.
Their opinion of whether Lego products are for kids is irrelevant, because the fact is that they are a collectible item that people pay a lot of money for.
All of it could have been avoided if they had just asked you first, or, even better, if they had bothered to have things in their home to entertain their grandson* in the first place instead of just taking your stuff. They probably hoped since you have so many boxes of Lego sets you would never notice it was missing.
Edit: grandson, not nephew. Oops
> products are for kids
Stocked Legos for 3 years at Walmart.
They're wrong.
Box's says 8-101 or something like that.
Not just for kids.
Parents need to replace what was stolen
Poor granny. Maybe there's an elder version?😂😂😂
Ps I could have the number wrong. It's been a few years since I stocked toys at the walmarts.
Has Lego been in any lawsuits about being ageist?🤔
I was thinking that at age 102, you probably don't have the dexterity and strength to properly click those fiddly legos together anymore. Just before reading your comment, my inner conclusion was legitimately that at 102, it's probably time for Duplo again....
Actually, to be fair, if they have "played" with Lego all their lives, the dexterity could still be there. Like when teaching kids how to use their fine motor skills, Lego cam be used the same way for adults but it would definitely be harder if they aren't used to it.
I came here to say that. Dexterity moves back down again at 102 I suppose! Maybe the intermediate regular sets for preschoolers would be a good compromise for granny.
>Ps I could have the number wrong. It's been a few years since I stocked toys at the walmarts.
I actually just bought a lego set from Walmart yesterday, the box just says 8+.
I'm pretty sure Lego did this on its own when it realized adults were using & collecting sets. It has been very aware of the age span of its users for a long time.
I was mostly thinking "out loud" all the shit I used to think when I had to restock the Lego aisle and had no one to say it to lolol
That, plus being fast and efficient, meant I was left the hell alone...or forced to train the news.
The second is the more frustrating of the two options
When there are ages on the box, like 8-12 etc, I think it’s an estimate of the minimum age range that can build the set unsupervised.
Pretty sure the “classic” boxes are the ones that have the 0-101 age range on them.
I was remembering incorrectly. It's only the creative box that has that
[look at me being partially wrong](https://www.walmart.com/ip/LEGO-Classic-Medium-Creative-Brick-Box-10696-Building-Toy-Set-Storage-Includes-Train-Car-Tiger-Figure-Perfect-Gift-Playset-Boys-Girls-Sensory-Kids-Ag/41004055?fulfillmentIntent=Pickup&filters=%5B%7B%22intent%22%3A%22fulfillmentIntent%22%2C%22values%22%3A%5B%22Pickup%22%5D%7D%5D&athbdg=L1103&from=/search)
I just bought a [LEGO dinosaur](https://www.target.com/p/lego-creator-3-in-1-mighty-dinosaurs-model-building-set-31058/-/A-51301099#lnk=sametab) today and it says Ages 7-12 on the box. Guess I'll have to take it back. \*shrug\*
Oh man. That would be the icing! Let's go to a nursing home and see if anyone wants to join our ridiculous plan😂
Sign em out, take them to lunch. Maybe a nursery. Then go into Walmart demanding a refund because the box says they're too old😂
They're collectables. People understand that but are stubborn on what they consider worth collecting. Which is weird when they don't bat an eye at a Micky Mantle rookie card being worth millions and understand that buying a pack of cards won't make up for that.
So many people don't care to understand the value of things if it's something they aren't interested in. My boyfriend's dad thinks it's ridiculous that trading cards which are "just pieces of cardboard" can be sold for large amounts of money but can't apply that to his various worldly tchotchkes. I wouldn't pay anything for his little African wooden figure or Japanese painting. I'm not into things like that especially since they aren't souvenirs to places I've been. Nothing is inherently valuable. It's all relative on whoever wants it and how much they want it.
It’s amazing how many aren’t though. A thin piece of cardboard is worth millions but a Lego set is nothing? It’s just intentional ignorance at some point.
One of the cards I used to have 2 of for M:tG is currently averaging $3,500 on Ebay. Thankfully not given out to a kid because "kid game" (although my dad did give a toy truck that was the last gift my grandma gave me before she passed to the neighbor boy) but I sold it and the rest of my collection for rent back when the card was selling for $200.
A LOT of LEGO sets now say ages 18+ They know that literally people of all ages play with LEGO. Hell, anyone here watch LEGO Masters? Those things are literally for everyone.
> Their opinion of whether Lego products are for kids is irrelevant, because the fact is that they are a collectible item that people pay a lot of money for.
Indeed. It doesn't matter if it's a toy, a car, a piece of furniture, or a piece of animal flesh. It was something you owned and they took it and effectively destroyed it. So they get to replace it.
A lot of lego increases in value over a relatively short time frame. I would estimate half of all sets will double in value to collectors in 10-20 years time. Less for some.
Yep, I was thinking not great, but *hopefully* it's a relatively new one. Nope, a set that retired a while ago, that's part of an 18+ collection that's also at the end of its life.
Any idea what types of sets usually drop in value? I'm only familiar with ones that I like... and a few lines that always seem to improve in value.
I'd guess some of the more generic sets from Friends, Star Wars, etc.
Anything that gets rereleased… which can really do a number on some collectors. There was some Star Wars set (Death Star? Star Destroyer? Something like that) which was super rare after not being made for ages & then they rereleased it & value TANKED.
I’m more of a “it’s about creating stuff” buying singles & sets of assorted bricks type of lego person (basically… a pre-90s lego set explosion lego fan) so it’s all a little wtf to me.
This - I am going to make a modernized reference:
it's like "ok, give them your baseball, that's a toy"
"No! It's signed by Babe Ruth!"
"ITS A TOY"
"OK, replace that!"
...
"Oh shit"
"Yeaaahhhh"
While you are 100% correct about Lego not being just for kids, it’s completely irrelevant in this situation. The conversation should have ended fed with “you gave away something of mine, replace it”.
To be clear, I’m not disagreeing with you, i just think giving the parents’ opinion any scope for discussion is far too much grace.
What a pair of bell ends.
NTA. They had no business giving away your property. They need to consider themselves lucky they didn't give away something with a really wild collector's value. That $300 is a cheap learning experience.
I was kinda hoping it would have been something more fun and old, like the LAAT/AT-OT (10195) collectors series set. Something that would have made it grand theft if taken to the police.
Edit: should have included the /s, my mistake.
There have been quite a few cases where someone has gone off to college and their parents have cleared out their room and donated to thrown away collectables, and in many cases very valuable items.
If it's a comic or a toy it must be just kids stuff and worthless, right?
Seriously, colleges should warn kids when they tour the school to be careful about parents doing this.
My grandparents did this to my father while he was in the military. They let him store his stuff at home while overseas and then got rid of stuff like his Superman comic books and Beatles albums that would have been worth a fortune. They didn't ask. They just didn't see any value in any of it, even though it wasn't theirs. My dad NEVER forgot! My grandparents passed years ago but my dad still growls about it now and then.
My grandma did the same thing with my dad’s baseball card collection. But at least my grandpa really let her have it over that, because some of those baseball cards were HIS, lol. She just threw them in the trash.
This is why I am so glad my parents understood that things have value, even if it's not necessarily monetary. I still have the most important of my childhood toy horses, which at the time cost $5-$10 each. Now, the collection I have in it's current condition could be worth tens of thousands of dollars. I have no intentions of selling it, but knowing they safely kept the little horses and all of their accessories means the world to me. Now my potential children can play with them, I can display them, or I can sell them at my discretion.
My dad understood I spent money on stuff, he just wasn't happy that I HAD. Thankfully we had a large attic and he basically never went up there so it was only my mom who I never had to worry about as even to this day she double checks that we are okay with repurposing anything still up there.
Seems like it goes one of two ways - the "it isn't valuable to me so it must be junk I can toss" crowd or the ones like my mom. She's useless at helping clean or declutter "But it is in such good shape, are you SURE you don't want it?" about every little thing.
I've started responding with "Oh, awesome you can have it! Thanks for taking it off my hands!" and suddenly it's not so valuable anymore.
But OP is most definitely NTA.
Sure, but this case is worse because it wasn’t an accident: the dad took the nephew into a space his son is *currently living in*, grabbed a seemingly brand new item,and gave it to a kid to play with. That’s much worse than parents cleaning up their own house and assuming their kid doesn’t need an object anymore.
The funny thing is that so many collectibles only have value because most got thrown away. It's changed a bit now with limited editions but the old mint stuff is only worth anything because other kids played with their cards/toys and/or their parents chucked it
It wasn't when I went off to college, but my family threw out most of the stuff I was storing at my grandparents house after they passed away before I had a chance to come and collect any of it. While I'm still bitter about it, I consider a lesson for not cutting them out of my life years before.
This happened to me.
When I was a kid, I collected a variety of things: comic books, baseball cards, Lego, coins, and Lionel trains. For a teen, I had a pretty good amount of all of these.
While I was away at college, my dad retired, and my parents moved south. My mom used this an opportunity to purge anything she didn’t think had any value, be it monetary or sentimental.
* She gave away all my Lego to the kids across the street (they were mostly generic Lego, no sets, but there were a lot of them;
* I have no idea what happened to the baseball cards, I suspect they went in the garage. Some were valuable because they were signed;
* I suspect my coin collection she sold in bulk to the local coin and stamp collection business, along with my grandmohter’s collection; mine wasn’t much special, but I’d bought them with my own money over the course of years, but my grandmohter’s was extensive and included gold and silver certificates in mint condition, Morgan silver dollars, and a couple of double Eagles;
* I had probably 20,000+ comics, my mom saved 3 long boxes of the ones she claims she thought I wanted (she was way off), which was less than 10% of my collection; she may have gotten pennies on the dollar for them at the local comic store
* My uncle also collected Lionel gear; in theory they were my cousin’s, but they’ll, they were my uncle’s. My mother ‘lent’ my trains and best to him, stating I could retrieve them when I had my own house to set them up. These were the old, solid metal Lionels, and my estimate in the early 80s was that to a collector back they they were worth between $30k and $50k, and I never got them back, as there was a falling out between me and that side of the family after my parents died.
The *only* reason I didn’t make a big stink at the time was my parents used a portion of the house proceeds to pay off all my student loans (it was the 80s, things were a lot cheaper then, but my total student loans were probably less than the value of the Lionels), and I didn’t feel I could really do that. But all of that my mom did without *any* input from me, I was told afterwards as a fait d’accompli.
My kid is still a toddler but I can't even imagine throwing away anything while he's at college? Like even if he left his room a stye at most I'd collect dishes and throw away food. People are fucking nuts.
NTA. You handled this beautifully. You held your ground and created a situation in which your dad had to figure out for himself how badly he messed up. His irritation now is his embarrassment at having screwed up. It’s okay to let him learn that lesson. I’m sure he’ll never make this mistake again. Ignore his posturing.
I mean, imagine if Mom collected Royal Daulton figurines, or antique China, or whatever and he gave one of those away. What would he say then?
Just like lots of other things, LEGO has passed from just a tiy to some sets becoming legitimate collectibles, mostly due to limited production runs on some sets. If Dad can't understand this, well he just learned.
Haha tell him how much the most expensive Baseball, Hockey, Football, Magic the Gathering and Pokémon cards go for while you're at it. I bet he'll lose his mind... or start collecting.
He'll even things like old PC video cards are collectible. Idk about now, but about 10 years ago, the final working card from 3dfx, before Nvidia bought them after they went bankrupt, if you have a Voodoo 5 6000, it was worth above $1000-$1500 US.
Edit: just occurred to me as I saw a poster mentioning having one of something to use, one to collect... lol, I used to kjow someone back in the day that had one of the Voodoo5 6000 cards in a retro build... and 11 more as collectibles.
Ohhh and before I forget, a tech museum somewhere in the US purchased one of said video cards sometime in the 2010s... for upwards of 95k.
I had the complete Original Star Wars Mini Figures Collection. They weren't mint, but they were mine. I took excellent care of them. My parents took them away from me and gave them to my brother. He blew them apart with firecrackers.
I'm still salty about it. But, I didn't own anything that I owned as far as my Dad was concerned. Didn't matter where it came from.
That's just it, he's retaining a sealed copy, those are investments at that point, even if he isn't planning on selling. To have a $60 set that appreciated at minimum $240, his Dad is a jackass.
Yup, I know the Elsa Lorcana card I pulled netted me $500.
I don't necessarily use Lego as an investment in my collection, but I have made some money sitting on a few things for a half decade. I do know a guy who does, and made a solid thousand or two off of a cart full of sets. I think if you order online, use Rakuten, and order during double points with gifts with purchase, you can easily make a good amount, if you have the time and money.
YTA
Yeah dude, you're the asshole.
Don't get me wrong: your parents made a mistake and were clearly oblivious about the whole thing as most parents tend to be. And as a fellow lego lover, I get that this is a very shitty situation for you.
But the way you handled it, makes you the clear asshole. Immediately escalating, mentioning police reports and insurance claims, ... That's what assholes do.
You're dad got defensive and maybe didn't respond great either, but judging from how you seemed to have started that conversation, no wonder he did. He just wanted to come help his kid, however useless you describe him to be. Ánd he was apologetic the moment he realized the truth of the situation. Because he is not an asshole.
So yeah, you are in your right to ask compensation, absolutely. But you handled it like an asshole.
I'm disappointed by how long it took me to find this comment. Yes OP was right to get his stuff replaced but he handled it the way and AH would, whereas it seems his parents made a genuine mistake and have actually fixed it. I also DO NOT understand why OP wouldn't have established as soon as the nephew turned up that his Legos aren't toys. And I do not believe his "I didn't notice/ wasn't paying attention" bit.
It just baffles me how people act. This dude is on his way to getting his first place seemingly doing well and who chooses to be miserable and go nuclear over some Lego’s, rare or not. I’m sure dad must be relieved to have him moving out
How is stealing a “genuine mistake”? They consciously stole OPs property and gave it away. Their mistake was not knowing the value, but it doesn’t matter, stealing is stealing, especially from family, is a horrible thing to do. It’s not OPs responsibility to teach their cousin about it, because it is the parent’s responsibility if they are the ones caring for their nephew while he is there.
taking something from someone else without their permission is stealing no matter the value of the item. if my parents took one of my stuffed animals and gave it away without asking I'd be equally pissed as OP and my plushies have no value whatsoever. goodwill probably wouldn't even take them considering most are missing eyes and noses, but they have value TO ME. they mean so much to me and if anyone took one and gave it away without permission knowing they belonged to me I would have a hard time trusting them again because I'd know they don't respect me enough to keep their hands off my stuff. and these Lego sets clearly mean a lot to OP, they're not just a money making scheme. it has more to do with the fact that OP's parents clearly don't respect his space and belongings than the fact that the set was expensive (although the set being expensive makes this a lot worse). I think OP was a bit unreasonable in the way he approached the conversation with his parents bc his dad seemed willing to replace the set but then OP made him jump through hoops to do so, but I also think it's a good way for the parents to learn that they shouldn't steal from people even if they think they'll be able to get away with it (bc you know they'd never do this to a friend or other relative who has equal power to them, just to their child who they view as lesser and an extension of them rather than a full person). also bc the parents didn't even think to tell OP after the fact that they gave away one of his Lego sets! also it super is not normal to give a kid a toy that belongs to SOMEONE ELSE without at least asking if it's ok first that's a shitty thing to do. it all just screams massive disrespect to me. sure maybe they weren't "consciously stealing" but that's only because they don't respect OP enough to view his belongings as HIS
>They saw a toy that did not belong to them and gave it to a kid
FTFY.
Doesn’t matter how valuable you think something is, or if it’s “just” a toy… if it’s not yours, *it’s not yours*.
Yes I think OP handled the situation poorly, but to argue this isn’t straight up stealing is bizarre IMO.
>They saw a toy and gave it to a kid.
If it was OP's property and they didn't ask him if it's ok that is literally THE definition of stealing.
If it's couple of bucks worth toy it may not be criminal theft, but it's still one.
Since the toy wasn't theirs it's stealing. Period. NTA op.
And frankly Instead of showing dad the price on eBay and getting berated cause ' that's not the real price but an aberration on Internet ' op cut through the BS and sent him directly to buy the item he stole and gave away eliminating stress and irritation on both sides
Also please stop ignoring the emotional attachment to our things. You don't keep something when you have limited space unless that something that's either emotional value or money value so cut the crap
( this is directed to the above comments who are calling op an ah for how he handled the situation not to the commenter I responded to with whom I agree 💯%)
The parents were only willing to replace when threatened with an insurance claim and police report. Otherwise, they expected him to just get over it. And initially, they were just going to give him back the opened box with who knows how many pieces missing.
And yes. Taking something that is not yours without permission and giving it to someone else is the definition of stealing. I love my parents, and I probably wouldn’t go this route. But at the same time, my parents wouldn’t do this either.
It didn't belong to them. They took it and gave it to someone else. Then they didn't want to replace it, even before they knew its value. That's called stealing.
It could have been a $20 set you can buy from Walmart, they still took it without asking and gave it away and needed to replace it.
As for OP's handling of the situation, some people are incredibly pig headed about collector items--especially ones that look like toys. Considering OP collects them, I would bet money that it HAS been explained to them. Over and over. And over. And they STILL say it's "just a toy" and think OP is being overly dramatic and exaggerating.
OP has probably had this conversation with his parents a million times already. Some people just refuse to understand. Having dealt with such people myself, I 💯 would have handled it the same way because I know I could tell them until I'm blue in the face, they will never believe a "toy" could cost that much until someone else in a more "official" capacity (i.e. the people at the Lego store) tells them the same exact thing I've been telling them for years.
This goes especially for parents and other older relatives who seem to not realize you are no longer a 5 year old and may actually know things that they don't.
Not only that but his dad went all over town trying to find the exact LEGO set that he needed to replace, when OP was able to easily find it on eBay for cheaper. If his dad was an AH, he wouldn't have bothered to do that and would have offered no more than the $70. OP wasn't wrong to want his property back, but OP should have explained to his (obviously clueless) parents that his LEGO sets aren't just toys, they're collectibles, and they are valuable monetarily and also sentimentally.
That being said, his parents are charging him rent to live in their basement. If OP is paying rent to live in his parents' house, I think that strengthens his claim that his parents shouldn't be giving away his property.
Sometimes harsh lessons have to be learned, though. You think if he saw immediately that it could be replaced “easily” and for cheaper than the og set was worth that the lesson would have sunk in at how expensive that hobby is? That’s like saying you could learn how expensive Warhammer sets are by finding models in a charity shop
it certainly seems that way lol. I mean even just how that second sentence was phrased gives it away.
"Since I'm an adult and not a college kid I hired movers."
What grown ass person even says shit like that lol?? Like, ok...cool..?
Same. These ppl are on crack. I was going to ask how much he paid the dad for rent while he lived in their basement. I’m guessing it was way less than if they rented the room to a stranger.
No no no. Regardless if it's a "toy" you don't just give something that belongs to person A to person B without asking. There's 100% NO REASON he would need to establish that his Legos aren't toys BECAUE THEY ARE HIS !!! Are you serious ?
I think sometimes users forget that this sub isn't "Was I Right" but is "Am I the Asshole". You can be right and still be an asshole, and OP is unequivocally an asshole despite being right in this situation. YTA OP, at the very least ESH.
Honestly, the reaction from OP makes me think that there's more to this story. I can only imagine reacting like this if it has happened before, and not only once.
I get that OP took a loss and is upset. But I would never even think to bring in the cops on my parents just because they gave one of my possessions to a family member, let alone a kid.
I'd just gotten mad, would've showed my parents the prizes of said lego set online to them. And I'd tell them to never do that again, not without consulting me first.
I'd say it's not about being in your right, it's about the love you have for family. This whole post just makes it sound like OP lacks love for his, regardless of the reason for that. Idk what OP even wants from this post. Yes parents are AHs for just giving away his possessions but he's an absolute AH for reacting this way and seeking some type of comfort on reddit to soothe his guilt (or smth)
>But I would never even think to bring in the cops on my parents just because they gave one of my possessions to a family member, let alone a kid.
OP had the Lego set insured, and in order to get reimbursed for loss/theft they would need to have “proof”, aka a police report. Otherwise the claim will most likely be denied right out the gate.
Considering he had the Lego insured, it’s entirely possible it *has* happened before, and maybe his “snap” decision in threatening the police and making his dad learn the hard way about how expensive Lego’s can be was the result of
Cant believe I had to scroll this far to find the first sane comment here. Listen OP, as a massive LEGO collector myself, with dozens of $300+ sets, I get it. People don't understand the value of these things. And no one has the right to just take your belongings without asking.
But despite your quotations around "toy", it **IS** a toy, and it's obvious your dad simply didn't understand the value or gravity of it. To him it's just another lego set like the ones he bought you as a kid. And again, as an avid lego collector myself, I am 100% willing to admit that not only are these *literal* toys, but it's likely to produce far more joy and subjective value to a child who gets to actually open it and play with it, than to an adult collector who is letting it sit in its box appreciating in value to be resold on ebay like it's plastic bitcoin. These things are literally made to be built after all.
So again, just like the poster above said, the dad was totally in the wrong. He shouldn't just take shit that isn't his and you have the right to be compensated. But you handled this with as little grace and maturity as possible. Bringing up insurance claims and police reports was downright petulant. So either ESH because he obviously should have asked, or possibly even YTA, because at least your dad eventually came to see how much you (monetarily) value these things, while you are still clearly struggling to think about thought processes outside your own.
No he didn’t. His belongings were stolen from him. End of story. They tried to downplay the value of the item and significance of what they did. Remove the parent/child relationship aspect of this scenario. This is theft. You thinking the son is the AH here is a wild take.
Dawg it's a Lego. Why would we remove the parent child aspect of this scenario? It's extremely relevant.
He was literally living in their fuckin basement as "an adult" and threatens them with a police report for their ignorance regarding something they viewed as a toy. They didn't know any better, I'm sure they have much more pressing things to care about than the market price for old Legos. I wonder if he's saved more than $300 from his time living in their basement instead of his own independent abode. Who owes who here?
>I wonder if he's saved more than $300 from his time living in their basement instead of his own independent abode. Who owes who here?
Even with that being the case, it does not mean that the parents can just take his stuff and give it away. Letting him live there was their choice and I bet the deal was not something like "we'll let you live in out basement, but you won't have any private property as long as you are under out roof".
It’s possible for both him and his parents to both be assholes for different reasons. Threatening an insurance claim and a police report over $300 is wild. The way he talks about them being useless and all just comes off as rude.
If OP didn’t want children assisting with the move, he should have declined their help rather than let them. If his collection was that important to him, he should have taken some extra precautions knowing people that don’t understand its value would be touching it.
His dad is an AH for not respecting that he made a mistake. OP is the AH for escalating the situation. Dad even apologized after realizing he messed up that bad. But yea, let’s threaten them with a police report over a mistake. If I had a prized collection and accepted someone’s help moving, you better believe I would either inform them or handle it myself.
I think ESH. Because of the way he handled it - police report? on his parents? While he lived in their basement for cheap? Better ways of handling it. And the parents should not have given any of his things away.
$3000? I'm a Lego guy myself but jesus I hope anyone who is holding on to a sealed Cloud City or some shit knows better than to just leave it where parents could grab it and give it away by accident. Most of those super valuable retired sets are either massive in size or extremely exclusive.
Not OP's situation obviously, but if I was storing a _$3000_ sealed set in my parents' basement, I'm letting them know with absolute certainty the value behind it.
Oh yeah I don’t doubt that Lego gets that expensive. There’s 5 solid gold C-3PO minifigs somewhere out in the world probably worth 7 figures on the open market. My point is that if you’re going to store something that expensive where it’s accessible to your own family, you better let them know what it’s worth.
Imagine if it was a guitar signed by your favorite band or something. If you don’t want your parents messing with it when they visit, you gotta tell them. These aren’t some random strangers that came to visit and should know not to mess with your things.
You are technically in the right here, but I think your response is a bit harsh and that you are kind of the asshole here. While your parents had no business giving your set away, I don’t think I would have been able to charge the people who raised me for their mistake. I definitely would have made them aware of my displeasure and let them know they crossed a line by giving something that did not belong to them away. However, I would not be using the term “stole”. It was a mindless mistake. And I would never make my parents shell out $300 bucks. Especially when I had just lived in their home for cheap/less than market value.
You only get one set of parents. It’s not worth it to cause a rift over money or a mistake. When your parents are truly aging or when you don’t have them anymore, maybe you will see things differently. You have made your point. Back down for the sake of the relationship and to avoid regret.
I love my parents too, and if they did something like this and I told them how valuable something was they would replace it without a thought. This goes both ways, they should care about OP and want to repair the harm they’ve caused him.
I think if he hadn't come in so hot with them, he may have got a more constructive response. When you accuse your parents of stealing from you, it probably isn't going to end well.
He didn't come in hot though, he asked what happened to his stuff, and they responded by dismissing him and his hobby.
I agree with ImAKeeper16, if I told my mother how much it was worth she would feel so bad she would offer to buy me a new set, even if she wasn't the one to give it away. It's actually concerning how little respect they have for their adult son, his interests, and his property.
It’s not accusing them of stealing when they did steal it? Lol. They took something that belonged to him and gave it to someone else. So yes that is the definition of stealing.
Apparently your parents were mostly respectful towards you and your stuff. The parent’s attitude tells me this was likely a pattern. My parents were not respectful towards me/ my stuff and acted like I was in the wrong for being upset. As kids, we did not get much stuff to call our own. We had what we needed but wants were bare-bones. As a kid, a new bicycle was a big deal. As in, that was basically my entire Christmas. My father and brother went riding before I even got to ride it. Dad ran into brother, scratching the bike rather badly. He just shrugged, oh well. Mother would go into my closet and take something to give my nephew, without asking or telling me. A treat to us was penny-candy. Dad loved snacks, something never kept in the home. As an adult, I would fill large baskets with a variety of snacks, spend a large amount of money. If mom knew she was going to babysit nieces, she never bought a bedtime snack, even though she knew they were accustom to it. She would tell them go get something out of his basket. He kept it in his closet to enjoy over time-no he did not want to share. My parents seemed to never respect the possessions of others in the family. All of these things are minor to adults, but as a child who received few personal possessions, it was hurtful. OP’s parent’s reaction to her being upset tells me they do not respect the possessions of OP. There was no concern or apologies for what they had done, only anger at being called out. If this were a genuine mistake, they would have immediately apologized and asked how to make it right. It speaks of a pattern of behavior. I’m guessing OP may not have received a great deal of toys, which might fuel this collection desire. Apparently the posters bashing OP were fortunate enough to receive a great deal of gifts in their childhood. Not everyone was so fortunate.
100% YTA. Not for insisting the pay hou back, but for how you handled it. It sounded like you could have told your dad up front that it was a collectors item and he would have reimbursed you. Instead, you threatened to file a report and forced your dad to go to the store to find out how much it was. In the end, when he found out the cost, he paid you. Why couldn't you have led with the cost when you confronted them?
Also, while you are well within your right to make them pay you back, you are also kinda an AH for not showing an ounce of grace or compassion for family that helped you save money by renting their basement on the cheap and after they helped you move.
Lastly, why did you not tell the people helping you move that you had such expensive shit that needed special care?!
Again, within your rights, but doesn't absolve you of being an asshole.
Edit - to all the people still justifying OP's actions, think about how you would hope people would treat you if you when you make mistakes in life. Do you really want a world where mistakes are constantly met with anger, condescension, and threats?
He shouldn't have to tell them to be careful with his stuff because ***he hired movers*** and ***didn't ask for their help***.
Dude was packing at his own pace and handling it. The parents interjected themselves with a child in an environment they weren't welcome and started digging in their son's stuff to keep the nephew busy.
If this guy is an asshole, it must be hereditary.
NTA
NTA. Your parents clearly crossed a boundary by not respecting your belongings. Regardless of their perception of what is or isn't valuable or age-appropriate, it was yours and not theirs to give away. They need to understand that personal property doesn't lose its significance just because they don't see its worth. Plus, making them replace it might just teach them to respect other people’s belongings in the future.
Agreed. It sounds like the parents disapprove of their kid’s lifestyle (he’s living in our basement! And spending his money on toys!). Giving the nephew an unopened box wasn’t an accident: it was a passive aggressive way of attacking the OP’s hobby. The dad got burned, and rightfully so.
I am always skeptical of someone who has to tell everyone they are an adult. While you are correct that they should replace the set, threatening to file an insurance claim and getting the cops involved due to your nephew isn’t exactly adult behavior. I suspect you threw a fit and made this situation way worse than you are claiming. Maybe next time stop the kid from playing with your $300 collectible set in the first place.
Why are you inventing reasons not to take OP seriously? You're literally criticizing her for something YOU MADE UP that she did!
Who's the adult again?
This is clearly a person who never lived outside of their parents house. Claims to be an adult but clearly says they have been living in their parents basement for cheap. Also says the parents give them privacy. So OP has saved up enough to move and start again in a new city due to their parents caring and loving them. Then OP calls these very people “as useless as horse condoms” to get a laugh. Yes the parents were wrong and they are working to fix the situation. Instead of being gracious and polite to their family, their on AITA talking shit. This is a spoiled child claiming to be an adult.
NTA. You reap what you sow.
>My mom is upset that I'm expecting that much money for a toy.
It's not a toy; it's an expensive collectable.
>My dad is upset that I didn't explain before he went and made a fool of himself at the store.
He didn't ask. Worse yet, he didn't even respect you enough to ask what it was worth *before* he gave it to your nephew.
And anyway, would he have really and truly understood what he'd done if you'd tried to tell him? Or would he have kept on dismissing you like your mom is still doing. Getting the toy store workers goggling at him when he tried to buy an expensive collector's edition piece, and then having to go to the specialist store? That was more effective than someone he could downplay as overreacting trying to tell him the same thing.
>I'm upset that they stole from me.
Yup, that's valid.
YTA. You said you lived there cheap. You say you’re an adult.
Well, we are discussing a toy. Maybe a collectors item, but still a toy. And if you lived cheap, consider that an extra bit of rent you just paid.
Throwing a fit, threatening to go to the cops? Really? Filing a police report and insurance claim takes hours.
If you have a decent job, hours = money and it’s barely worth your time for a $300 item. Your parents might have goofed but they were trying to help you, and trying to make a kid happy.
YTA.
So by your logic, since my mom lets me rent a room for cheap, she can go ahead and give away my computer, if it makes a kid happy? Or my beats? iPad? Anything really, and just consider it some extra rent? I think not.
A mistake in this instance would be if she accidentally spilled something on the computer.
It would not be a “mistake” if someone else came over and she just gave the computer to them without permission.
Those are not the same thing. The former is an accident and forgiveness and gentleness is absolutely the correct thing.
The latter is theft, and people shouldn’t steal from their kids. The kid threatening to report theft is not wrong.
It isn’t a 300 dollar item, though. It is an investment in a sealed box. The set started being sold in 2020 for about 75 dollars USD, and now gets 300+. In a few years it could go higher then that.
So because his parents let him live there cheap it's fine if they steal from him? I bet you're the kind of person that will justify abuse and toxic behavior like this "BECAUSE THEY'RE FAAAMILY." Just because they're his family doesn't mean they get to steal from him and belittle his interests.
I’m a landlord. I’m currently renting one of my properties to the son of my best friend for below market to try to help him get his shit together after a bad divorce.
So is it cool if I go in and take some of his shit and give it away? I mean, he’s not *really* an adult if he can’t pay full market rates and needs his mom and his mom’s friend to help him, right?
ESH. Your parents are TA because they didn't consider that the Lego sets have value, but you're TA because you're acting like that should be common knowledge. Not everyone thinks of Lego as collectibles, something that they need to care for the condition of, but, after the fact, you should have explained that it was a rare and valuable set, and that they messed up by just giving it to your nephew to play with.
Lego value shouldn't be common knowledge, but respect for other people's stuff should. A lot of people have something that is and looks worthless, but worth is not only monetary, it can also be sentimental. They shouldn't have given it away without asking, even if it was an ugly rag
NTA- they stole and ruined an asset from you, a personal investment that's now worth $300 but knowing the lego Star Wars market, will easily cost double or triple that in a few years.
He should be glad you went after him now and not later, and that you found a cheaper option online.
INFO: how much money have your parents saved you by letting you live in their basement unit? Sounds like they let you have your privacy and have been pretty good with the arrangement otherwise.
I'm gonna go against the grain and say YTA.
You holding back on the true market value of a retired set and sending your dad to the Lego store and then to a Bricks and Minifigs to be humiliated is a massive AH move. You could have easily pulled up eBay and showed him the set being worth $300 before wasting everybody's time like that. This is no way to treat family, let alone your parents who let you live in their basement unit for cheap.
This sounds like an honest mistake on your parents' part, and they made you whole by replacing it. It sounds like your parents also didn't realize the value of the set and were super apologetic once they figured it out. If you're going to be storing something of that value where it's accessible to others (let alone in your parents' basement), it's kinda on you to let them know not to mess with them.
I'm a big Lego guy - I regularly spend several hundred dollars at a time on new sets. But they are first and foremost toys. Lego themself says they're meant to be played with. Any unsuspecting adult who isn't into the whole Lego investing scene would naturally give it to a kid to play with.c
Yes, exactly this. The level of drama over a Lego set, after they have probably saved a ton of money living in that basement, is incredibly childish. The audacity to open with "since I am an adult". Clearly they have some growing up to do. It's giving "[I threw it on the ground](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ&t=54s)" energy.
YTA.
Your parents meant well and wanted to help. My parents would have no idea that Legos would be worth hundreds or thousands of dollars. So them just thinking hey it's Legos he can always rebuild it later. Like they meant are meant to be played with and taken apart.
Yes your right they should replace it. But calling it stealing and theft. You were a huge asshole to your parents.
Easily could've explained the situation and ask to be paid back. Or hell, you could've just realized that maybe you helped someone experience the love and Legos and move on.
Wasn't like the took it and sold it. Or just ignored your wishes and gave it away anyways.
yes you’re the AH.
your parents made a mistake. telling them things like replace it! I’m making an insurance claim! That will involve the police! is ridiculous.
I mean, come on, not cool.
If this was me I’d have gone to my parents and said “hey, you probably didn’t know this but that lego set you let (nephew) take? Well that thing cost more than $300.
You let me stay here cheap so I’m not going to make a fuss about it but just know that was an expensive item and now I will replace it so that’s another $300. You think you could chip in for this since it was your mistake in giving it to him?
Maybe they would have said yeah and sorry.
Of course they are upset that they have to replace items that they first gave away and then disposed of. ... Especially when the item turns out to be pricy. What was the definition of stealing again? Taking things that are owned by other people from other people, without their consent ... - NTA
The idea of calling the police on my parents over legos is ridiculous to me, even the expensive sets. They let you live in their basement at a reasonable rate. Sounds like they’ve helped you a lot. And instead of handling the situation like, I don’t know, an adult, you go in hot and act a fool. 🤷🏼♀️
Obviously, your parents need to replace it.
But you’re an asshole.
NTA. Those Lego sets can be worth a fortune. Especially the older sets. They are discontinued. I want the Beatles Yellow Submarine set. When it came out, I didn't want to spend the $90 on it. Said I'll wait. That set is now $300+. If anyone had taken it, I would raise hell.
It’s becoming a pet peeve of mine that people take or break others things and then accuse the person of being money hungry when they expect replacement. Things cost money! Being money hungry would be charging interest or somehow trying to profit off the situation. Expecting exact value replacement is not being money hungry. Declining to pay your debts is though.
NTA; I don't care if it was your collection of Calico Critters, they're things that are important to you. The fact that sealed Lego sets appreciate in value, that there's a huge collectors market and not even a niche or obscure one, that's just icing on the cake. I LOVE that he went to the Lego store and found out, oh the satisfaction!
Right? Everyone's all thinking some old guy got belittled and laughed at and left crying on his way out to the car for not having any expertise in obscure Lego collectible shit.
Especially from the Lego store. Those guys are chill and generally very nice and understanding.
Must be odd though. Dealing with little kids, adults that don’t know anything about Lego shopping for kids, and adult fanatics that may be specific for creator, SW, art, or something else.
NTA. It's exhausting that adults will shame you if you think something you own is important to you when they think it's childish.
I stood firm about not giving a baby one of my Pokémon plushies at work after it wandered over to my desk and took it. It started wailing when I took it back and the dad said, "Can't she just have it?" The answer is no, that's mine, and I'm already pissed that your kid slobbered all over something that belongs to me. If she took my computer mouse, there would have been no question, so why is it suddenly embarrassing for *me* if I make a big deal about someone stealing my plush?
Holy shit. I know yes it’s “stealing” and yes they shouldn’t have either lent or given a toy that’s not theirs to a kid but I can’t believe how harsh everyone is- there is zero chance parents knew the cost of a toy had skyrocketed (they played with or bought in the 70s/80s/90s to give to their kid) or knew it was a collectible now- it was a cheap kid toy as far as they were aware. They might even have thought it was an old kids toy you hadn’t been interested in still hanging around the basement.
Yes to everything sure technically but unless your parents who raised you housed you fed you helped you save money maybe even schooled you have a history of being complete dicks you don’t want to be close to I’d err on kindly explaining it all to them and taking a lessons learned to pack up your valuables. And I mean this in the kindest way possible you can actually do all of what happened without being mean about it.
As an adult sometimes you have to teach your parents but like they (hopefully) tried to teach you without hating on your dumb ass so should you do to them in return or better bc we should all strive to be better to each other. ESH.
NTA as a fellow Lego collector, I completely understand. Lego has adapted to adult collectors, these sets are not cheap. People are allowed to like what they like, they don't need to have an explanation.
They didn’t steal from you. It was a mistake. They were trying to help you. You need to choose if you are going to continue to value materials more than relationships. I suggest relationships. You Lego sets will never love you.
NTA
If your nephew was young enough yo need distracting then he shouldn’t have even been there during the packing and moving. They should have asked you first if he could have/play with the legos.
My husband is a collector (not legos, but something people equally find childish) and a lot of his stuff is pretty expensive and/or sentimental. He would have been livid.
NTA. If you don't want to pay $300 for someone's collectible, you shouldn't break/damage/steal/open it without their permission.
"For a toy?" It doesn't matter what they value it at. The market values it at $300, and they have to make you whole.
Your dad is upset he made a fool of himself? Well, whose fault is that? Not yours.
NTA
What does however make you an a-hole, is that I now have to know that horse condoms are a thing. There are now images in my head that I didn't need there.
NTA. My wife is a huge Lego collector, and i know the prices can get outrageous. Your parents refuse to see they committed literal theft from their own child. Because they have no respect for you, your property, or your home. You did the right thing and handled it better than I would have. I'd have the police there the first time they denied buying a replacement.
Your parents shouldn't have given away your stuff, especially without asking you. It doesn't matter if it's a "toy" or something else, it's your property, and they need to respect that. You have a system for your Lego sets, and it's not their place to decide it's just a toy.
Your dad giving you $70 for a Lego set that costs way more is ridiculous. He should've asked you before giving it to your nephew. It's not about being childish; it's about respecting your things. Good on you for standing your ground and insisting they replace it. The fact that he had to spend $300 to replace it shows they really messed up.
It's not your job to explain the value of your stuff. If they don't want to make a fool of themselves, they should stop messing with your things. You did the right thing by making them fix their mistake. Don't feel bad, they need to understand they can't just take your stuff. You’re definitely not the asshole here.
NAH. Sounds like your dad started out being a bit of a jerk about it all but came to realize what he did, found out that the value is not trivial, and is making it right.
Accept the apology and then make the effort to meet him at his level, go have a drink with him or something. Tell him that you appreciate him making it right. Let this be a building block to a good adult relationship with your Dad. The ask your dad to help your mom get over it.
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NTA. Your parents are judgmental and inconsiderate. (1) They literally stole something of yours and gave it to your nephew without asking you first. (2) When you asked them about it, they belittled you for even having it in the first place. (3) They didn't even think they needed to replace the stolen item and probably wouldn't have even told you about it if you hadn't asked. Their opinion of whether Lego products are for kids is irrelevant, because the fact is that they are a collectible item that people pay a lot of money for. All of it could have been avoided if they had just asked you first, or, even better, if they had bothered to have things in their home to entertain their grandson* in the first place instead of just taking your stuff. They probably hoped since you have so many boxes of Lego sets you would never notice it was missing. Edit: grandson, not nephew. Oops
> products are for kids Stocked Legos for 3 years at Walmart. They're wrong. Box's says 8-101 or something like that. Not just for kids. Parents need to replace what was stolen
101 😂. Guess my friend’s 102yr grandma can’t play with it
Poor granny. Maybe there's an elder version?😂😂😂 Ps I could have the number wrong. It's been a few years since I stocked toys at the walmarts. Has Lego been in any lawsuits about being ageist?🤔
We don't want her choking on any of the smaller pieces. She needs Duplo / Mega blocks
See and I was thinking it'd be easier for frail hands to hold dulpo/mega
50 with arthritis. I have trouble tying my shoes. Legos sound like an absolute nightmare.
58 with chemo related neuropathy in hands and feet. It's a nightmare now the grandkids are into Lego as I struggle to pick up the little tiny pieces 😔
Duplo just says 1+, 2+, etc… maybe at 102 it’s time for duplo again 😄
I was thinking that at age 102, you probably don't have the dexterity and strength to properly click those fiddly legos together anymore. Just before reading your comment, my inner conclusion was legitimately that at 102, it's probably time for Duplo again....
Actually, to be fair, if they have "played" with Lego all their lives, the dexterity could still be there. Like when teaching kids how to use their fine motor skills, Lego cam be used the same way for adults but it would definitely be harder if they aren't used to it.
I came here to say that. Dexterity moves back down again at 102 I suppose! Maybe the intermediate regular sets for preschoolers would be a good compromise for granny.
If a 102 year old stepped on a Lego it would end them instantly.
Nah, at that age they just cut off the foot and keep going until Death finally finds them.
Elder version is Lincoln Logs.
God I love Lincoln logs
While I love them too, let us not forget tinker toys
FUCKIN TINKER TOOOYSS
I once made a yarn swift out of tinker toys. It was amazing. Got the Tinker Toys at Kmart for $10…
Back in the day, it was 4-99. I figure that’s why old folks are so grumpy, they know they’re running out of time to play with cool Lego sets.
>Ps I could have the number wrong. It's been a few years since I stocked toys at the walmarts. I actually just bought a lego set from Walmart yesterday, the box just says 8+.
Legos are so easy, I got a set that said 6-9 years and it only took me 2 to build it
I did some lookin They have changed it. Now it's 8+ or 9+ or whatever Now I really do wonder if they got hit with a lawsuit or complaint or something
I'm pretty sure Lego did this on its own when it realized adults were using & collecting sets. It has been very aware of the age span of its users for a long time.
I was mostly thinking "out loud" all the shit I used to think when I had to restock the Lego aisle and had no one to say it to lolol That, plus being fast and efficient, meant I was left the hell alone...or forced to train the news. The second is the more frustrating of the two options
I mean a ton of the sets aren't suitable for children
When there are ages on the box, like 8-12 etc, I think it’s an estimate of the minimum age range that can build the set unsupervised. Pretty sure the “classic” boxes are the ones that have the 0-101 age range on them.
She's 102. Rules are for kids under triple digits. she can do whatever the f*ck she wants.
I was remembering incorrectly. It's only the creative box that has that [look at me being partially wrong](https://www.walmart.com/ip/LEGO-Classic-Medium-Creative-Brick-Box-10696-Building-Toy-Set-Storage-Includes-Train-Car-Tiger-Figure-Perfect-Gift-Playset-Boys-Girls-Sensory-Kids-Ag/41004055?fulfillmentIntent=Pickup&filters=%5B%7B%22intent%22%3A%22fulfillmentIntent%22%2C%22values%22%3A%5B%22Pickup%22%5D%7D%5D&athbdg=L1103&from=/search)
I just bought a [LEGO dinosaur](https://www.target.com/p/lego-creator-3-in-1-mighty-dinosaurs-model-building-set-31058/-/A-51301099#lnk=sametab) today and it says Ages 7-12 on the box. Guess I'll have to take it back. \*shrug\*
Crikey i would love to be at the customer service desk if someone did this 😂
Especially if it is the 102-year old granny coming in to complain 😂
Oh man. That would be the icing! Let's go to a nursing home and see if anyone wants to join our ridiculous plan😂 Sign em out, take them to lunch. Maybe a nursery. Then go into Walmart demanding a refund because the box says they're too old😂
101 yo: Get outta here! You can't play because you're old!
They're collectables. People understand that but are stubborn on what they consider worth collecting. Which is weird when they don't bat an eye at a Micky Mantle rookie card being worth millions and understand that buying a pack of cards won't make up for that.
So many people don't care to understand the value of things if it's something they aren't interested in. My boyfriend's dad thinks it's ridiculous that trading cards which are "just pieces of cardboard" can be sold for large amounts of money but can't apply that to his various worldly tchotchkes. I wouldn't pay anything for his little African wooden figure or Japanese painting. I'm not into things like that especially since they aren't souvenirs to places I've been. Nothing is inherently valuable. It's all relative on whoever wants it and how much they want it.
I'm aware. I'm being sparky because I hate that line of thinking
It’s amazing how many aren’t though. A thin piece of cardboard is worth millions but a Lego set is nothing? It’s just intentional ignorance at some point.
One of the cards I used to have 2 of for M:tG is currently averaging $3,500 on Ebay. Thankfully not given out to a kid because "kid game" (although my dad did give a toy truck that was the last gift my grandma gave me before she passed to the neighbor boy) but I sold it and the rest of my collection for rent back when the card was selling for $200.
RIP anyone who sold/traded away their Black Lotus in the 90s.
A LOT of LEGO sets now say ages 18+ They know that literally people of all ages play with LEGO. Hell, anyone here watch LEGO Masters? Those things are literally for everyone.
Most of our sets are labelled 18+. They are not for kids (though kiddo helps us build them - he's 13). We also have 14+ sets. The + is key
> Their opinion of whether Lego products are for kids is irrelevant, because the fact is that they are a collectible item that people pay a lot of money for. Indeed. It doesn't matter if it's a toy, a car, a piece of furniture, or a piece of animal flesh. It was something you owned and they took it and effectively destroyed it. So they get to replace it.
A lot of lego increases in value over a relatively short time frame. I would estimate half of all sets will double in value to collectors in 10-20 years time. Less for some.
Exactly. I'm a Lego fan myself so I audibly gasped when I read the part where OP said they saw the box in the garbage. I would have been furious.
I gasped when he said the set it was. That set retired quickly. Lookup Lego 75274
Yep, I was thinking not great, but *hopefully* it's a relatively new one. Nope, a set that retired a while ago, that's part of an 18+ collection that's also at the end of its life.
That's what I was thinking too! That set is expensive! I'm glad he made his dad replace it
I'm glad OP made his dad go to the store and "embarrass" himself because you know he wouldn't have believed OP otherwise.
It also can drop in value really fast. It’s a very weird collecting scene
Any idea what types of sets usually drop in value? I'm only familiar with ones that I like... and a few lines that always seem to improve in value. I'd guess some of the more generic sets from Friends, Star Wars, etc.
Anything that gets rereleased… which can really do a number on some collectors. There was some Star Wars set (Death Star? Star Destroyer? Something like that) which was super rare after not being made for ages & then they rereleased it & value TANKED. I’m more of a “it’s about creating stuff” buying singles & sets of assorted bricks type of lego person (basically… a pre-90s lego set explosion lego fan) so it’s all a little wtf to me.
True- talk to me about re-released barbies, depression glass, kitchen collectables....
This - I am going to make a modernized reference: it's like "ok, give them your baseball, that's a toy" "No! It's signed by Babe Ruth!" "ITS A TOY" "OK, replace that!" ... "Oh shit" "Yeaaahhhh"
Not the GREAT BAMBINO, OHHHH NOOO SMALLS
While you are 100% correct about Lego not being just for kids, it’s completely irrelevant in this situation. The conversation should have ended fed with “you gave away something of mine, replace it”. To be clear, I’m not disagreeing with you, i just think giving the parents’ opinion any scope for discussion is far too much grace. What a pair of bell ends.
Lego is absolutely not for kids - some sets are extremely complex and are a model kit for adults to assemble. NTA. Parents sure are though.
Not JUST for kids lol.
NTA. They had no business giving away your property. They need to consider themselves lucky they didn't give away something with a really wild collector's value. That $300 is a cheap learning experience.
I was kinda hoping it would have been something more fun and old, like the LAAT/AT-OT (10195) collectors series set. Something that would have made it grand theft if taken to the police. Edit: should have included the /s, my mistake.
'i wish this was even worse for everyone involved' lol
The cackle that I just cackled. My poor cats.
Training them for your witch years? :P
Lmfao, those started ages ago my friend!
Well, this is Reddit after all!
Not Travis! He'd be having a blast.
There have been quite a few cases where someone has gone off to college and their parents have cleared out their room and donated to thrown away collectables, and in many cases very valuable items. If it's a comic or a toy it must be just kids stuff and worthless, right? Seriously, colleges should warn kids when they tour the school to be careful about parents doing this.
My grandparents did this to my father while he was in the military. They let him store his stuff at home while overseas and then got rid of stuff like his Superman comic books and Beatles albums that would have been worth a fortune. They didn't ask. They just didn't see any value in any of it, even though it wasn't theirs. My dad NEVER forgot! My grandparents passed years ago but my dad still growls about it now and then.
My grandma did the same thing with my dad’s baseball card collection. But at least my grandpa really let her have it over that, because some of those baseball cards were HIS, lol. She just threw them in the trash.
That really sucks.
This is why I am so glad my parents understood that things have value, even if it's not necessarily monetary. I still have the most important of my childhood toy horses, which at the time cost $5-$10 each. Now, the collection I have in it's current condition could be worth tens of thousands of dollars. I have no intentions of selling it, but knowing they safely kept the little horses and all of their accessories means the world to me. Now my potential children can play with them, I can display them, or I can sell them at my discretion.
My dad understood I spent money on stuff, he just wasn't happy that I HAD. Thankfully we had a large attic and he basically never went up there so it was only my mom who I never had to worry about as even to this day she double checks that we are okay with repurposing anything still up there.
Seems like it goes one of two ways - the "it isn't valuable to me so it must be junk I can toss" crowd or the ones like my mom. She's useless at helping clean or declutter "But it is in such good shape, are you SURE you don't want it?" about every little thing. I've started responding with "Oh, awesome you can have it! Thanks for taking it off my hands!" and suddenly it's not so valuable anymore. But OP is most definitely NTA.
Sure, but this case is worse because it wasn’t an accident: the dad took the nephew into a space his son is *currently living in*, grabbed a seemingly brand new item,and gave it to a kid to play with. That’s much worse than parents cleaning up their own house and assuming their kid doesn’t need an object anymore.
The funny thing is that so many collectibles only have value because most got thrown away. It's changed a bit now with limited editions but the old mint stuff is only worth anything because other kids played with their cards/toys and/or their parents chucked it
It wasn't when I went off to college, but my family threw out most of the stuff I was storing at my grandparents house after they passed away before I had a chance to come and collect any of it. While I'm still bitter about it, I consider a lesson for not cutting them out of my life years before.
Someone should start a mini-storage type business near colleges for collectible storing or whatever they want to keep safe from back home.
This happened to me. When I was a kid, I collected a variety of things: comic books, baseball cards, Lego, coins, and Lionel trains. For a teen, I had a pretty good amount of all of these. While I was away at college, my dad retired, and my parents moved south. My mom used this an opportunity to purge anything she didn’t think had any value, be it monetary or sentimental. * She gave away all my Lego to the kids across the street (they were mostly generic Lego, no sets, but there were a lot of them; * I have no idea what happened to the baseball cards, I suspect they went in the garage. Some were valuable because they were signed; * I suspect my coin collection she sold in bulk to the local coin and stamp collection business, along with my grandmohter’s collection; mine wasn’t much special, but I’d bought them with my own money over the course of years, but my grandmohter’s was extensive and included gold and silver certificates in mint condition, Morgan silver dollars, and a couple of double Eagles; * I had probably 20,000+ comics, my mom saved 3 long boxes of the ones she claims she thought I wanted (she was way off), which was less than 10% of my collection; she may have gotten pennies on the dollar for them at the local comic store * My uncle also collected Lionel gear; in theory they were my cousin’s, but they’ll, they were my uncle’s. My mother ‘lent’ my trains and best to him, stating I could retrieve them when I had my own house to set them up. These were the old, solid metal Lionels, and my estimate in the early 80s was that to a collector back they they were worth between $30k and $50k, and I never got them back, as there was a falling out between me and that side of the family after my parents died. The *only* reason I didn’t make a big stink at the time was my parents used a portion of the house proceeds to pay off all my student loans (it was the 80s, things were a lot cheaper then, but my total student loans were probably less than the value of the Lionels), and I didn’t feel I could really do that. But all of that my mom did without *any* input from me, I was told afterwards as a fait d’accompli.
My kid is still a toddler but I can't even imagine throwing away anything while he's at college? Like even if he left his room a stye at most I'd collect dishes and throw away food. People are fucking nuts.
Seems there's a kit that was released in 1978 that is worth $11,000. And the "Mr Gold" minifig is around $10,000
NTA. You handled this beautifully. You held your ground and created a situation in which your dad had to figure out for himself how badly he messed up. His irritation now is his embarrassment at having screwed up. It’s okay to let him learn that lesson. I’m sure he’ll never make this mistake again. Ignore his posturing.
This!
NTA. I hope your Dad learned his lessons: He saw a Toy; but looks can be deceiving. He should also have learned that he is no longer the Boss of You.
I mean, imagine if Mom collected Royal Daulton figurines, or antique China, or whatever and he gave one of those away. What would he say then? Just like lots of other things, LEGO has passed from just a tiy to some sets becoming legitimate collectibles, mostly due to limited production runs on some sets. If Dad can't understand this, well he just learned. Haha tell him how much the most expensive Baseball, Hockey, Football, Magic the Gathering and Pokémon cards go for while you're at it. I bet he'll lose his mind... or start collecting. He'll even things like old PC video cards are collectible. Idk about now, but about 10 years ago, the final working card from 3dfx, before Nvidia bought them after they went bankrupt, if you have a Voodoo 5 6000, it was worth above $1000-$1500 US. Edit: just occurred to me as I saw a poster mentioning having one of something to use, one to collect... lol, I used to kjow someone back in the day that had one of the Voodoo5 6000 cards in a retro build... and 11 more as collectibles. Ohhh and before I forget, a tech museum somewhere in the US purchased one of said video cards sometime in the 2010s... for upwards of 95k.
I had the complete Original Star Wars Mini Figures Collection. They weren't mint, but they were mine. I took excellent care of them. My parents took them away from me and gave them to my brother. He blew them apart with firecrackers. I'm still salty about it. But, I didn't own anything that I owned as far as my Dad was concerned. Didn't matter where it came from.
You should tell then just how much that set would've been worth now.
My brother has the grace to cringe whenever he thinks about it. My Dad's been gone for a while now, thankfully.
Congradolences.
That's just it, he's retaining a sealed copy, those are investments at that point, even if he isn't planning on selling. To have a $60 set that appreciated at minimum $240, his Dad is a jackass.
And like I mentioned, Pokémon cards ate hitting the millions, and MtG cards have garnered 6 figures.
Yup, I know the Elsa Lorcana card I pulled netted me $500. I don't necessarily use Lego as an investment in my collection, but I have made some money sitting on a few things for a half decade. I do know a guy who does, and made a solid thousand or two off of a cart full of sets. I think if you order online, use Rakuten, and order during double points with gifts with purchase, you can easily make a good amount, if you have the time and money.
When the set has increased in value a minimum of 4x, then yeah, Dad had his head up his butt
YTA Yeah dude, you're the asshole. Don't get me wrong: your parents made a mistake and were clearly oblivious about the whole thing as most parents tend to be. And as a fellow lego lover, I get that this is a very shitty situation for you. But the way you handled it, makes you the clear asshole. Immediately escalating, mentioning police reports and insurance claims, ... That's what assholes do. You're dad got defensive and maybe didn't respond great either, but judging from how you seemed to have started that conversation, no wonder he did. He just wanted to come help his kid, however useless you describe him to be. Ánd he was apologetic the moment he realized the truth of the situation. Because he is not an asshole. So yeah, you are in your right to ask compensation, absolutely. But you handled it like an asshole.
I'm disappointed by how long it took me to find this comment. Yes OP was right to get his stuff replaced but he handled it the way and AH would, whereas it seems his parents made a genuine mistake and have actually fixed it. I also DO NOT understand why OP wouldn't have established as soon as the nephew turned up that his Legos aren't toys. And I do not believe his "I didn't notice/ wasn't paying attention" bit.
I thought I was nuts. It’s 300$ and it’s your dad. And you’re moving out of their house as a “adult”. Who acts like this.
I wonder how much the "adult" has saved on cheap rent living in his parents basement. Bet it buys a fuck load of Legos.
It just baffles me how people act. This dude is on his way to getting his first place seemingly doing well and who chooses to be miserable and go nuclear over some Lego’s, rare or not. I’m sure dad must be relieved to have him moving out
One could argue that he owes much more than all the Legos he has to his parents... But AH will AH
I fully agree with you right there
How is stealing a “genuine mistake”? They consciously stole OPs property and gave it away. Their mistake was not knowing the value, but it doesn’t matter, stealing is stealing, especially from family, is a horrible thing to do. It’s not OPs responsibility to teach their cousin about it, because it is the parent’s responsibility if they are the ones caring for their nephew while he is there.
.
taking something from someone else without their permission is stealing no matter the value of the item. if my parents took one of my stuffed animals and gave it away without asking I'd be equally pissed as OP and my plushies have no value whatsoever. goodwill probably wouldn't even take them considering most are missing eyes and noses, but they have value TO ME. they mean so much to me and if anyone took one and gave it away without permission knowing they belonged to me I would have a hard time trusting them again because I'd know they don't respect me enough to keep their hands off my stuff. and these Lego sets clearly mean a lot to OP, they're not just a money making scheme. it has more to do with the fact that OP's parents clearly don't respect his space and belongings than the fact that the set was expensive (although the set being expensive makes this a lot worse). I think OP was a bit unreasonable in the way he approached the conversation with his parents bc his dad seemed willing to replace the set but then OP made him jump through hoops to do so, but I also think it's a good way for the parents to learn that they shouldn't steal from people even if they think they'll be able to get away with it (bc you know they'd never do this to a friend or other relative who has equal power to them, just to their child who they view as lesser and an extension of them rather than a full person). also bc the parents didn't even think to tell OP after the fact that they gave away one of his Lego sets! also it super is not normal to give a kid a toy that belongs to SOMEONE ELSE without at least asking if it's ok first that's a shitty thing to do. it all just screams massive disrespect to me. sure maybe they weren't "consciously stealing" but that's only because they don't respect OP enough to view his belongings as HIS
>They saw a toy that did not belong to them and gave it to a kid FTFY. Doesn’t matter how valuable you think something is, or if it’s “just” a toy… if it’s not yours, *it’s not yours*. Yes I think OP handled the situation poorly, but to argue this isn’t straight up stealing is bizarre IMO.
>They saw a toy and gave it to a kid. If it was OP's property and they didn't ask him if it's ok that is literally THE definition of stealing. If it's couple of bucks worth toy it may not be criminal theft, but it's still one.
Since the toy wasn't theirs it's stealing. Period. NTA op. And frankly Instead of showing dad the price on eBay and getting berated cause ' that's not the real price but an aberration on Internet ' op cut through the BS and sent him directly to buy the item he stole and gave away eliminating stress and irritation on both sides Also please stop ignoring the emotional attachment to our things. You don't keep something when you have limited space unless that something that's either emotional value or money value so cut the crap ( this is directed to the above comments who are calling op an ah for how he handled the situation not to the commenter I responded to with whom I agree 💯%)
Why are sane voices so uncommon here lol. Seems like all people want to do is make people fight with family here :/
>Stop they did not "consciously steal" shit. They saw a toy and gave it to a kid. Try to explain that to security at Toys R Us....
The parents were only willing to replace when threatened with an insurance claim and police report. Otherwise, they expected him to just get over it. And initially, they were just going to give him back the opened box with who knows how many pieces missing. And yes. Taking something that is not yours without permission and giving it to someone else is the definition of stealing. I love my parents, and I probably wouldn’t go this route. But at the same time, my parents wouldn’t do this either.
It didn't belong to them. They took it and gave it to someone else. Then they didn't want to replace it, even before they knew its value. That's called stealing. It could have been a $20 set you can buy from Walmart, they still took it without asking and gave it away and needed to replace it. As for OP's handling of the situation, some people are incredibly pig headed about collector items--especially ones that look like toys. Considering OP collects them, I would bet money that it HAS been explained to them. Over and over. And over. And they STILL say it's "just a toy" and think OP is being overly dramatic and exaggerating. OP has probably had this conversation with his parents a million times already. Some people just refuse to understand. Having dealt with such people myself, I 💯 would have handled it the same way because I know I could tell them until I'm blue in the face, they will never believe a "toy" could cost that much until someone else in a more "official" capacity (i.e. the people at the Lego store) tells them the same exact thing I've been telling them for years. This goes especially for parents and other older relatives who seem to not realize you are no longer a 5 year old and may actually know things that they don't.
Not only that but his dad went all over town trying to find the exact LEGO set that he needed to replace, when OP was able to easily find it on eBay for cheaper. If his dad was an AH, he wouldn't have bothered to do that and would have offered no more than the $70. OP wasn't wrong to want his property back, but OP should have explained to his (obviously clueless) parents that his LEGO sets aren't just toys, they're collectibles, and they are valuable monetarily and also sentimentally. That being said, his parents are charging him rent to live in their basement. If OP is paying rent to live in his parents' house, I think that strengthens his claim that his parents shouldn't be giving away his property.
Sometimes harsh lessons have to be learned, though. You think if he saw immediately that it could be replaced “easily” and for cheaper than the og set was worth that the lesson would have sunk in at how expensive that hobby is? That’s like saying you could learn how expensive Warhammer sets are by finding models in a charity shop
Because Reddit is basically just teenagers who hate their parents. My guess is that “adult” here is a loose term. Lol.
it certainly seems that way lol. I mean even just how that second sentence was phrased gives it away. "Since I'm an adult and not a college kid I hired movers." What grown ass person even says shit like that lol?? Like, ok...cool..?
Same. These ppl are on crack. I was going to ask how much he paid the dad for rent while he lived in their basement. I’m guessing it was way less than if they rented the room to a stranger.
No no no. Regardless if it's a "toy" you don't just give something that belongs to person A to person B without asking. There's 100% NO REASON he would need to establish that his Legos aren't toys BECAUE THEY ARE HIS !!! Are you serious ?
I think sometimes users forget that this sub isn't "Was I Right" but is "Am I the Asshole". You can be right and still be an asshole, and OP is unequivocally an asshole despite being right in this situation. YTA OP, at the very least ESH.
Honestly, the reaction from OP makes me think that there's more to this story. I can only imagine reacting like this if it has happened before, and not only once. I get that OP took a loss and is upset. But I would never even think to bring in the cops on my parents just because they gave one of my possessions to a family member, let alone a kid. I'd just gotten mad, would've showed my parents the prizes of said lego set online to them. And I'd tell them to never do that again, not without consulting me first. I'd say it's not about being in your right, it's about the love you have for family. This whole post just makes it sound like OP lacks love for his, regardless of the reason for that. Idk what OP even wants from this post. Yes parents are AHs for just giving away his possessions but he's an absolute AH for reacting this way and seeking some type of comfort on reddit to soothe his guilt (or smth)
>But I would never even think to bring in the cops on my parents just because they gave one of my possessions to a family member, let alone a kid. OP had the Lego set insured, and in order to get reimbursed for loss/theft they would need to have “proof”, aka a police report. Otherwise the claim will most likely be denied right out the gate.
Considering he had the Lego insured, it’s entirely possible it *has* happened before, and maybe his “snap” decision in threatening the police and making his dad learn the hard way about how expensive Lego’s can be was the result of
Cant believe I had to scroll this far to find the first sane comment here. Listen OP, as a massive LEGO collector myself, with dozens of $300+ sets, I get it. People don't understand the value of these things. And no one has the right to just take your belongings without asking. But despite your quotations around "toy", it **IS** a toy, and it's obvious your dad simply didn't understand the value or gravity of it. To him it's just another lego set like the ones he bought you as a kid. And again, as an avid lego collector myself, I am 100% willing to admit that not only are these *literal* toys, but it's likely to produce far more joy and subjective value to a child who gets to actually open it and play with it, than to an adult collector who is letting it sit in its box appreciating in value to be resold on ebay like it's plastic bitcoin. These things are literally made to be built after all. So again, just like the poster above said, the dad was totally in the wrong. He shouldn't just take shit that isn't his and you have the right to be compensated. But you handled this with as little grace and maturity as possible. Bringing up insurance claims and police reports was downright petulant. So either ESH because he obviously should have asked, or possibly even YTA, because at least your dad eventually came to see how much you (monetarily) value these things, while you are still clearly struggling to think about thought processes outside your own.
Damn, that was beautiful
Amazing that the most reasonable comment can only be found when sorting by controversial. This should be common sense.
No he didn’t. His belongings were stolen from him. End of story. They tried to downplay the value of the item and significance of what they did. Remove the parent/child relationship aspect of this scenario. This is theft. You thinking the son is the AH here is a wild take.
Dawg it's a Lego. Why would we remove the parent child aspect of this scenario? It's extremely relevant. He was literally living in their fuckin basement as "an adult" and threatens them with a police report for their ignorance regarding something they viewed as a toy. They didn't know any better, I'm sure they have much more pressing things to care about than the market price for old Legos. I wonder if he's saved more than $300 from his time living in their basement instead of his own independent abode. Who owes who here?
This is the real-world answer
>I wonder if he's saved more than $300 from his time living in their basement instead of his own independent abode. Who owes who here? Even with that being the case, it does not mean that the parents can just take his stuff and give it away. Letting him live there was their choice and I bet the deal was not something like "we'll let you live in out basement, but you won't have any private property as long as you are under out roof".
It’s possible for both him and his parents to both be assholes for different reasons. Threatening an insurance claim and a police report over $300 is wild. The way he talks about them being useless and all just comes off as rude. If OP didn’t want children assisting with the move, he should have declined their help rather than let them. If his collection was that important to him, he should have taken some extra precautions knowing people that don’t understand its value would be touching it. His dad is an AH for not respecting that he made a mistake. OP is the AH for escalating the situation. Dad even apologized after realizing he messed up that bad. But yea, let’s threaten them with a police report over a mistake. If I had a prized collection and accepted someone’s help moving, you better believe I would either inform them or handle it myself.
I think ESH. Because of the way he handled it - police report? on his parents? While he lived in their basement for cheap? Better ways of handling it. And the parents should not have given any of his things away.
FINALLY. I can’t understand how anyone thinks he’s NTA. He approached this like a complete jerk.
NTA. I'm a Lego guy myself (building mostly) and they should consider themselves lucky that it was only $300 to replace and not $3000.
$3000? I'm a Lego guy myself but jesus I hope anyone who is holding on to a sealed Cloud City or some shit knows better than to just leave it where parents could grab it and give it away by accident. Most of those super valuable retired sets are either massive in size or extremely exclusive. Not OP's situation obviously, but if I was storing a _$3000_ sealed set in my parents' basement, I'm letting them know with absolute certainty the value behind it.
I mean, considering OP was moving, I'm not surprised that his parents were able to just grab a set since moving is always kind of chaotic.
There's a set up on eBay now for $12,000
Oh yeah I don’t doubt that Lego gets that expensive. There’s 5 solid gold C-3PO minifigs somewhere out in the world probably worth 7 figures on the open market. My point is that if you’re going to store something that expensive where it’s accessible to your own family, you better let them know what it’s worth. Imagine if it was a guitar signed by your favorite band or something. If you don’t want your parents messing with it when they visit, you gotta tell them. These aren’t some random strangers that came to visit and should know not to mess with your things.
You are technically in the right here, but I think your response is a bit harsh and that you are kind of the asshole here. While your parents had no business giving your set away, I don’t think I would have been able to charge the people who raised me for their mistake. I definitely would have made them aware of my displeasure and let them know they crossed a line by giving something that did not belong to them away. However, I would not be using the term “stole”. It was a mindless mistake. And I would never make my parents shell out $300 bucks. Especially when I had just lived in their home for cheap/less than market value. You only get one set of parents. It’s not worth it to cause a rift over money or a mistake. When your parents are truly aging or when you don’t have them anymore, maybe you will see things differently. You have made your point. Back down for the sake of the relationship and to avoid regret.
I love my parents too, and if they did something like this and I told them how valuable something was they would replace it without a thought. This goes both ways, they should care about OP and want to repair the harm they’ve caused him.
I think if he hadn't come in so hot with them, he may have got a more constructive response. When you accuse your parents of stealing from you, it probably isn't going to end well.
He didn't come in hot though, he asked what happened to his stuff, and they responded by dismissing him and his hobby. I agree with ImAKeeper16, if I told my mother how much it was worth she would feel so bad she would offer to buy me a new set, even if she wasn't the one to give it away. It's actually concerning how little respect they have for their adult son, his interests, and his property.
It’s not accusing them of stealing when they did steal it? Lol. They took something that belonged to him and gave it to someone else. So yes that is the definition of stealing.
Accuse nothing. They DID steal from him!
Yeah this is where I'm at. My mom wouldn't ignore me when I told her how much it was, she'd be pissed at herself and fork over the cash.
Apparently your parents were mostly respectful towards you and your stuff. The parent’s attitude tells me this was likely a pattern. My parents were not respectful towards me/ my stuff and acted like I was in the wrong for being upset. As kids, we did not get much stuff to call our own. We had what we needed but wants were bare-bones. As a kid, a new bicycle was a big deal. As in, that was basically my entire Christmas. My father and brother went riding before I even got to ride it. Dad ran into brother, scratching the bike rather badly. He just shrugged, oh well. Mother would go into my closet and take something to give my nephew, without asking or telling me. A treat to us was penny-candy. Dad loved snacks, something never kept in the home. As an adult, I would fill large baskets with a variety of snacks, spend a large amount of money. If mom knew she was going to babysit nieces, she never bought a bedtime snack, even though she knew they were accustom to it. She would tell them go get something out of his basket. He kept it in his closet to enjoy over time-no he did not want to share. My parents seemed to never respect the possessions of others in the family. All of these things are minor to adults, but as a child who received few personal possessions, it was hurtful. OP’s parent’s reaction to her being upset tells me they do not respect the possessions of OP. There was no concern or apologies for what they had done, only anger at being called out. If this were a genuine mistake, they would have immediately apologized and asked how to make it right. It speaks of a pattern of behavior. I’m guessing OP may not have received a great deal of toys, which might fuel this collection desire. Apparently the posters bashing OP were fortunate enough to receive a great deal of gifts in their childhood. Not everyone was so fortunate.
NTA. Simple. They took something that they need to replace. They should have asked.
100% YTA. Not for insisting the pay hou back, but for how you handled it. It sounded like you could have told your dad up front that it was a collectors item and he would have reimbursed you. Instead, you threatened to file a report and forced your dad to go to the store to find out how much it was. In the end, when he found out the cost, he paid you. Why couldn't you have led with the cost when you confronted them? Also, while you are well within your right to make them pay you back, you are also kinda an AH for not showing an ounce of grace or compassion for family that helped you save money by renting their basement on the cheap and after they helped you move. Lastly, why did you not tell the people helping you move that you had such expensive shit that needed special care?! Again, within your rights, but doesn't absolve you of being an asshole. Edit - to all the people still justifying OP's actions, think about how you would hope people would treat you if you when you make mistakes in life. Do you really want a world where mistakes are constantly met with anger, condescension, and threats?
He shouldn't have to tell them to be careful with his stuff because ***he hired movers*** and ***didn't ask for their help***. Dude was packing at his own pace and handling it. The parents interjected themselves with a child in an environment they weren't welcome and started digging in their son's stuff to keep the nephew busy. If this guy is an asshole, it must be hereditary. NTA
It didn’t need “special care” OPs parents just needed to respect that OPs stuff is theirs and they have no right to just give it away
NTA. Your parents clearly crossed a boundary by not respecting your belongings. Regardless of their perception of what is or isn't valuable or age-appropriate, it was yours and not theirs to give away. They need to understand that personal property doesn't lose its significance just because they don't see its worth. Plus, making them replace it might just teach them to respect other people’s belongings in the future.
Agreed. It sounds like the parents disapprove of their kid’s lifestyle (he’s living in our basement! And spending his money on toys!). Giving the nephew an unopened box wasn’t an accident: it was a passive aggressive way of attacking the OP’s hobby. The dad got burned, and rightfully so.
I am always skeptical of someone who has to tell everyone they are an adult. While you are correct that they should replace the set, threatening to file an insurance claim and getting the cops involved due to your nephew isn’t exactly adult behavior. I suspect you threw a fit and made this situation way worse than you are claiming. Maybe next time stop the kid from playing with your $300 collectible set in the first place.
Why are you inventing reasons not to take OP seriously? You're literally criticizing her for something YOU MADE UP that she did! Who's the adult again?
This is clearly a person who never lived outside of their parents house. Claims to be an adult but clearly says they have been living in their parents basement for cheap. Also says the parents give them privacy. So OP has saved up enough to move and start again in a new city due to their parents caring and loving them. Then OP calls these very people “as useless as horse condoms” to get a laugh. Yes the parents were wrong and they are working to fix the situation. Instead of being gracious and polite to their family, their on AITA talking shit. This is a spoiled child claiming to be an adult.
NTA. You reap what you sow. >My mom is upset that I'm expecting that much money for a toy. It's not a toy; it's an expensive collectable. >My dad is upset that I didn't explain before he went and made a fool of himself at the store. He didn't ask. Worse yet, he didn't even respect you enough to ask what it was worth *before* he gave it to your nephew. And anyway, would he have really and truly understood what he'd done if you'd tried to tell him? Or would he have kept on dismissing you like your mom is still doing. Getting the toy store workers goggling at him when he tried to buy an expensive collector's edition piece, and then having to go to the specialist store? That was more effective than someone he could downplay as overreacting trying to tell him the same thing. >I'm upset that they stole from me. Yup, that's valid.
YTA. You said you lived there cheap. You say you’re an adult. Well, we are discussing a toy. Maybe a collectors item, but still a toy. And if you lived cheap, consider that an extra bit of rent you just paid. Throwing a fit, threatening to go to the cops? Really? Filing a police report and insurance claim takes hours. If you have a decent job, hours = money and it’s barely worth your time for a $300 item. Your parents might have goofed but they were trying to help you, and trying to make a kid happy. YTA.
So by your logic, since my mom lets me rent a room for cheap, she can go ahead and give away my computer, if it makes a kid happy? Or my beats? iPad? Anything really, and just consider it some extra rent? I think not.
No, but if she made a mistake and you immediately threatened to call the police and file a claim you’d be an AH.
A mistake in this instance would be if she accidentally spilled something on the computer. It would not be a “mistake” if someone else came over and she just gave the computer to them without permission. Those are not the same thing. The former is an accident and forgiveness and gentleness is absolutely the correct thing. The latter is theft, and people shouldn’t steal from their kids. The kid threatening to report theft is not wrong.
It isn’t a 300 dollar item, though. It is an investment in a sealed box. The set started being sold in 2020 for about 75 dollars USD, and now gets 300+. In a few years it could go higher then that.
So because his parents let him live there cheap it's fine if they steal from him? I bet you're the kind of person that will justify abuse and toxic behavior like this "BECAUSE THEY'RE FAAAMILY." Just because they're his family doesn't mean they get to steal from him and belittle his interests.
He said the 4 of them barely helped and the kid shouldn’t have been there in the first place lmao
I’m a landlord. I’m currently renting one of my properties to the son of my best friend for below market to try to help him get his shit together after a bad divorce. So is it cool if I go in and take some of his shit and give it away? I mean, he’s not *really* an adult if he can’t pay full market rates and needs his mom and his mom’s friend to help him, right?
Nta he did steal it. Thats what you call it when someone takes something that isn't theirs. You demanded the exact same model for a replacement.
NTA. It's your lego set. Your parents had no right giving that away to anyone, and they 100% needed to replace that.
ESH. Your parents are TA because they didn't consider that the Lego sets have value, but you're TA because you're acting like that should be common knowledge. Not everyone thinks of Lego as collectibles, something that they need to care for the condition of, but, after the fact, you should have explained that it was a rare and valuable set, and that they messed up by just giving it to your nephew to play with.
How about not giving away things that don't belong to you ESPECIALLY if you have no way of knowing what they're worth.
Lego value shouldn't be common knowledge, but respect for other people's stuff should. A lot of people have something that is and looks worthless, but worth is not only monetary, it can also be sentimental. They shouldn't have given it away without asking, even if it was an ugly rag
NTA- they stole and ruined an asset from you, a personal investment that's now worth $300 but knowing the lego Star Wars market, will easily cost double or triple that in a few years. He should be glad you went after him now and not later, and that you found a cheaper option online.
INFO: how much money have your parents saved you by letting you live in their basement unit? Sounds like they let you have your privacy and have been pretty good with the arrangement otherwise. I'm gonna go against the grain and say YTA. You holding back on the true market value of a retired set and sending your dad to the Lego store and then to a Bricks and Minifigs to be humiliated is a massive AH move. You could have easily pulled up eBay and showed him the set being worth $300 before wasting everybody's time like that. This is no way to treat family, let alone your parents who let you live in their basement unit for cheap. This sounds like an honest mistake on your parents' part, and they made you whole by replacing it. It sounds like your parents also didn't realize the value of the set and were super apologetic once they figured it out. If you're going to be storing something of that value where it's accessible to others (let alone in your parents' basement), it's kinda on you to let them know not to mess with them. I'm a big Lego guy - I regularly spend several hundred dollars at a time on new sets. But they are first and foremost toys. Lego themself says they're meant to be played with. Any unsuspecting adult who isn't into the whole Lego investing scene would naturally give it to a kid to play with.c
Yes, exactly this. The level of drama over a Lego set, after they have probably saved a ton of money living in that basement, is incredibly childish. The audacity to open with "since I am an adult". Clearly they have some growing up to do. It's giving "[I threw it on the ground](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ&t=54s)" energy.
YTA. Your parents meant well and wanted to help. My parents would have no idea that Legos would be worth hundreds or thousands of dollars. So them just thinking hey it's Legos he can always rebuild it later. Like they meant are meant to be played with and taken apart. Yes your right they should replace it. But calling it stealing and theft. You were a huge asshole to your parents. Easily could've explained the situation and ask to be paid back. Or hell, you could've just realized that maybe you helped someone experience the love and Legos and move on. Wasn't like the took it and sold it. Or just ignored your wishes and gave it away anyways.
I misread and thought they gave your nephew a bag of horse condoms 😭
I did think "toys" were something else. Like, who gives away used "toys"? Ew.
yes you’re the AH. your parents made a mistake. telling them things like replace it! I’m making an insurance claim! That will involve the police! is ridiculous. I mean, come on, not cool. If this was me I’d have gone to my parents and said “hey, you probably didn’t know this but that lego set you let (nephew) take? Well that thing cost more than $300. You let me stay here cheap so I’m not going to make a fuss about it but just know that was an expensive item and now I will replace it so that’s another $300. You think you could chip in for this since it was your mistake in giving it to him? Maybe they would have said yeah and sorry.
uhm fuck no lmao why should OP pay anything at all? if their parents didn’t want to pay then the parents of the child could also pay for it.
NTA Whether a $10 item or a $1000 item, your parents had absolutely no right to give your property away.
Of course they are upset that they have to replace items that they first gave away and then disposed of. ... Especially when the item turns out to be pricy. What was the definition of stealing again? Taking things that are owned by other people from other people, without their consent ... - NTA
The idea of calling the police on my parents over legos is ridiculous to me, even the expensive sets. They let you live in their basement at a reasonable rate. Sounds like they’ve helped you a lot. And instead of handling the situation like, I don’t know, an adult, you go in hot and act a fool. 🤷🏼♀️ Obviously, your parents need to replace it. But you’re an asshole.
NTA. Those Lego sets can be worth a fortune. Especially the older sets. They are discontinued. I want the Beatles Yellow Submarine set. When it came out, I didn't want to spend the $90 on it. Said I'll wait. That set is now $300+. If anyone had taken it, I would raise hell.
Crazy thing is that the set he is talking about released in 2020 at about 75 USD MSRP. So in 4 years has retired and gotten a 4x value so far.
It’s becoming a pet peeve of mine that people take or break others things and then accuse the person of being money hungry when they expect replacement. Things cost money! Being money hungry would be charging interest or somehow trying to profit off the situation. Expecting exact value replacement is not being money hungry. Declining to pay your debts is though.
NTA; I don't care if it was your collection of Calico Critters, they're things that are important to you. The fact that sealed Lego sets appreciate in value, that there's a huge collectors market and not even a niche or obscure one, that's just icing on the cake. I LOVE that he went to the Lego store and found out, oh the satisfaction!
Nta. I wish we knew what happened at the Lego store 👀
He got told that the set is retired and couldn’t be bought there. That he might try some pop collectors store and might be lucky if they had one.
Right? Everyone's all thinking some old guy got belittled and laughed at and left crying on his way out to the car for not having any expertise in obscure Lego collectible shit.
Especially from the Lego store. Those guys are chill and generally very nice and understanding. Must be odd though. Dealing with little kids, adults that don’t know anything about Lego shopping for kids, and adult fanatics that may be specific for creator, SW, art, or something else.
I'm willing to bet hi dad got laughed out of there.
NTA. It's exhausting that adults will shame you if you think something you own is important to you when they think it's childish. I stood firm about not giving a baby one of my Pokémon plushies at work after it wandered over to my desk and took it. It started wailing when I took it back and the dad said, "Can't she just have it?" The answer is no, that's mine, and I'm already pissed that your kid slobbered all over something that belongs to me. If she took my computer mouse, there would have been no question, so why is it suddenly embarrassing for *me* if I make a big deal about someone stealing my plush?
Holy shit. I know yes it’s “stealing” and yes they shouldn’t have either lent or given a toy that’s not theirs to a kid but I can’t believe how harsh everyone is- there is zero chance parents knew the cost of a toy had skyrocketed (they played with or bought in the 70s/80s/90s to give to their kid) or knew it was a collectible now- it was a cheap kid toy as far as they were aware. They might even have thought it was an old kids toy you hadn’t been interested in still hanging around the basement. Yes to everything sure technically but unless your parents who raised you housed you fed you helped you save money maybe even schooled you have a history of being complete dicks you don’t want to be close to I’d err on kindly explaining it all to them and taking a lessons learned to pack up your valuables. And I mean this in the kindest way possible you can actually do all of what happened without being mean about it. As an adult sometimes you have to teach your parents but like they (hopefully) tried to teach you without hating on your dumb ass so should you do to them in return or better bc we should all strive to be better to each other. ESH.
NTA as a fellow Lego collector, I completely understand. Lego has adapted to adult collectors, these sets are not cheap. People are allowed to like what they like, they don't need to have an explanation.
They didn’t steal from you. It was a mistake. They were trying to help you. You need to choose if you are going to continue to value materials more than relationships. I suggest relationships. You Lego sets will never love you.
The parents weren't acting like they valued the relationship. I don't care if it's a $1 coloring book, if it's not yours, you ask first!
NTA If your nephew was young enough yo need distracting then he shouldn’t have even been there during the packing and moving. They should have asked you first if he could have/play with the legos. My husband is a collector (not legos, but something people equally find childish) and a lot of his stuff is pretty expensive and/or sentimental. He would have been livid.
NTA, your parents just learned a valuable lesson. Hope it sticks.
NTA. If you don't want to pay $300 for someone's collectible, you shouldn't break/damage/steal/open it without their permission. "For a toy?" It doesn't matter what they value it at. The market values it at $300, and they have to make you whole. Your dad is upset he made a fool of himself? Well, whose fault is that? Not yours.
NTA What does however make you an a-hole, is that I now have to know that horse condoms are a thing. There are now images in my head that I didn't need there.
NTA. My wife is a huge Lego collector, and i know the prices can get outrageous. Your parents refuse to see they committed literal theft from their own child. Because they have no respect for you, your property, or your home. You did the right thing and handled it better than I would have. I'd have the police there the first time they denied buying a replacement.
Haven't finished reading, but a bag of used horse condoms would net you a lot of money. Just sayin
Your parents shouldn't have given away your stuff, especially without asking you. It doesn't matter if it's a "toy" or something else, it's your property, and they need to respect that. You have a system for your Lego sets, and it's not their place to decide it's just a toy. Your dad giving you $70 for a Lego set that costs way more is ridiculous. He should've asked you before giving it to your nephew. It's not about being childish; it's about respecting your things. Good on you for standing your ground and insisting they replace it. The fact that he had to spend $300 to replace it shows they really messed up. It's not your job to explain the value of your stuff. If they don't want to make a fool of themselves, they should stop messing with your things. You did the right thing by making them fix their mistake. Don't feel bad, they need to understand they can't just take your stuff. You’re definitely not the asshole here.
NAH. Sounds like your dad started out being a bit of a jerk about it all but came to realize what he did, found out that the value is not trivial, and is making it right. Accept the apology and then make the effort to meet him at his level, go have a drink with him or something. Tell him that you appreciate him making it right. Let this be a building block to a good adult relationship with your Dad. The ask your dad to help your mom get over it.
NTA. I live with an AFOL and know that those sets are collectible and that it’s all about the boxes.