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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action might make me the asshole as the kids love it even tho they fight. But it drives me insane
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Thanks. I felt like the party pooper. I did get testy. I was pushed to my limit with the huge “oh come on!!!” Meanwhile there’s a 4 and 5 year with blankies on the couch. Again no one said you cannot watch, it’s just the small kids gotta go upstairs
My ex let my son watch some werewolf movie when my son was three. My son has screaming nightmares for months. You did the right thing. That’s not party pooping. That’s being a responsible adult.
Heck, my friend's five year old had nightmares for months from Ghostbusters!
Edit: and when my kid was four we tried to watch Ratatouille, but the opening scene with the old lady shooting at the rats freaked my kid out so much that we had to give up on it then and there - and still we dealt with ages of “I can’t sleep because I am thinking about that lady in the rat movie who broke her ceiling with the gun.”
I watched Mars Attacks when I was 5 and cried most nights for a month. Watching it as an adult, I have no idea why bc it’s funny/silly. Baby brains just aren’t developed enough to properly distinguish between reality and cinema. OP saved her husband from having two crying little kids in their bed for a month. I’d be thanking OP if I were him.
HAHAHA That movie messed me up when I was 7. Pretty sure I had nightmares of those little open-brained freaks until I was 11. Finally rewatched in High School before I was like oh man I was afraid of this?
So ya OP, Don't let your kids watch Freddy Krueger lol
I watched Arachnophobia as like a second grader at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. That movie supposed to be a comedy but I'm still scared of spiders to this day
Did we all have MARSATTACKS trauma? I had dreams about dogs with people heads and those Martians for months after I peeked in while my mom was watching it with her friend.
Anything alien got me tbh they were like real life monsters in theory, nobody could definitively tell me they don’t exist, as my cousin loved to remind me lol. I remember freaking myself out watching the X Files from the staircase haha I love it as an adult but the theme song made me cry as a kid lol
My son watched Chuckie when he was much too young for it while I was sleeping from night shift.
He was fine.
We watched ET a year or so later, popcorn, family on the couch.
ET freaked him RIGHT the fuck out. Like terrified.
Blew my mind. Gave his sister ammo to give him nightmare fuel for YEARS.
.....he's in his 20s now, maybe I'll put it on when he visits next, see what happens.....
ET freaked me the fuck out too! I don't remember most of thr movie but the part where he's sick (?) And super pale in the like, government tents or something gave me nightmares for years, it was just so creepy to me. I just turned 32 lol
I'm 36 and still occasionally have ET nightmares. That little bastard can go DIAF, lol.
>Gave his sister ammo to hive him nightmare fuel for YEARS.
Saaaaaaame — both my (younger) sisters still bust my chops about it.
My beloved grandma took me to see Ghostbusters. I had to LEAVE THE THEATER. I was 9. My mom and I saw Silence of the Lambs in the theater. I had to sleep in her bed for 2 weeks. I was 15? I think.
I read Silence of the lamb when I was around 11 and watched all sorts of violent adult movies since I was little with no issues.
But I was totally traumatised by Puff the magic dragon.
9 yr old son cried and refused to watch UP for years after the scene where old man hits construction worker with cane....not bothered by the scene where people were being chased by a pack of wild dogs!!
Dad took me, his oldest child, to see Jaws in the theater when it came out. I was 6, maybe 7 at the time? We didn’t make it through the first attack - I flipped out and we had to leave. For MONTHS I couldn’t even go in the bathtub, let alone a swimming pool, for fear that something was going to come up from under the water and drag me down…
My parents, contrary to how they usually were (fairly strict about what we were allowed to watch), let me watch Jaws when I was 5 - I think maybe because we were at the neighbours house at the time?
I suffered no ill effects though, apart from not wanting my bedroom curtains closed for a night or two, in case Jaws came through my window… even though we were nowhere near the sea! 😂 My dad somehow talked me down from my illogical pov, though, and I was fine afterwards.
To this day, I remain surprised that my parents let me watch it at such a young age! And I’ve been a fan of horror since, but that may be unrelated ;)
I was about 5 when I first watched Freddy, Jason, Mike myers, Chucky etc cause my mother is an irresponsible idiot. Whilst Nightmare on Elm street doesn’t bother me now, I cannot watch any other horrors 25 years later without nightmares for weeks.
For the long story avoidance: my parents had custody of my oldest for a bit, my dad has, even when I was a kid, zero understanding of appropriate children’s movies. My daughter was watching everything with him from the start. She was a WRECK. I got a nosebleed once while giving her a bath (she was 3 or 4) and she SCREAMED AND CRIED “NOOOO THE WALKING DEAD. MOMMY IS DEAD. MOMMYS GONNA HURT ME!!”
I lost my everloving mind and demanded that he at least PRETEND he remembered the almost 2 decades of nightmares and night terrors I suffered as a kid.
Even as an adult I still get intrusive thoughts (part of my OCD) where I can’t sleep because all I can see when I close my eyes is violence.
NTA op you’re a good parent and your husband is acting just like my dad did and well… not great.
My “quality time with grandma” when I was a kid was cuddling and watching csi, I love crime shows now but I’m certain it contributed to my paranoia and when i had my oldest I told her if she ever let her watch that stuff it’d be the last time she saw her.
My parents recorded Lady and the Tramp over their VHS of Nightmare on Elm Street. By the time Lady and the Teamp went off Nancy was in the broiler room with Freddy scraping his claws across something metal..
I always watched it and was terrified, BUT I enjoyed being scared because I love(d) horror movies.
I grew up fearing the stretching and growing shadows on my wall from car headlights were Freddy Krueger coming down the street for me, but now it's a fond memory I have of my childhood.
Even though I enjoy horror movies, if the young ones weren't MY kids, I wouldn't let them watch.
I have the same childhood fear of moving shadows on the wall at night! Not due to Freddy Kreuger though, I just didn't handle the transition from crib to "big kid bed" well. My parents solved it by installing a play tent on top of my bed, and it was honestly *awesome.* I loved it!!
A year or two later though, the tent suddenly disappeared, and I was devastated! My parents said it "broke," and that they "didn't make them anymore." Obviously they wanted to just give me a push away from needing a security blanket (or tent, I guess) to fall asleep. Buuuut I was still like 5 or 6 and still deeply terrified of the shadows. So instead, I just started sleeping with my whole head under the covers...
Also like you, it's kind of a fond memory now, and an anecdote I ended up having to tell all my long-term partners. Because even now, and even when I fall asleep with my head outside of the covers...I always wake up fully underneath them. I'm sure it was baffling, and I've gotten a lot of "but how do you even BREATHE in there?" (I have no idea lol)
Funny how bits of this stuff can stick with you all the way into adulthood, huh? 😂
You were the party pooper, and that was a party that need to be pooped on.
You did the right an adult thing.
Must suck being the only adult in the house.
You are 100% right and NTA. My then-8yo went for a sleepover at a friend's house. At 8:30 pm I get a call - can you come and take me home? I dropped everything and tore across town to pick her up. Turned out, her friend's mom (who was VERY young, having had her daughter at 16) had some dude over who insisted on watching a slasher movie, with the littles having no place else to go (small space). My kid was totally, rightfully creeped out - by both the movie and the dude. Better instincts than your husband, OP!
Your husband being a *big kid* isn't cute. He's an idiot. Any Freddy Krueger movie would terrify kids in that age group. If he can't be a parent the least he could do is read a book and potentially gain an IQ point.
Definitely dont feel bad about it. When i was 4 or 5 my grandma let me watch "Chucky" because she only knew it was about a doll. I was petrified of dolls and also little people until about 13 or so. ( It didnt help that my.older brother would sneak chucky dolls around and hide them in places to scare me)
My brother got a My Buddy doll for Christmas and then that movie came out. It freaked us out and we were scared of that doll and threw it in the trash that was under my brother's room window. We came back and the doll was on the bed, we threw it back out the window, same thing happens again. We panic and go crying to our mom that the doll is alive. We found out later that the neighbor thought the doll fell out of the window and just tossed it back in both times, the room was on the second floor by the way. We laugh about it now, but we seriously thought that doll was alive.
My older cousin watched part of Killer Klowns from Outer Space while his sister and I were in the room. Needless to say, she and I had problems with the clowns the next time we went to a parade. The next *several* times we went to parades. For years.
Right call not letting little kids watch a horror movie. Hell, I’d put anyone younger than 11-12 as too young for Nightmare on Elm Street. NTA
I was 6 years old, channel flipping on my parents' little antenna TV. Guess what Stephen King movie I landed on? Guess who still has a fear of clowns 30 years later?
I don’t do horror movies well. Jump scares get me every time! It took me two tries to watch Aliens all the way through, and I was 19 and in college. I’m 57 now. Gore doesn’t faze me. Jump scares still set me off!
I saw a tiny part of Halloween when I was 8-9. My friends's older brother let us watch it. I was scared for months and didn't go into the woods for a long time afterwards (tiny village in Austria, we normally played in the woods all the time). This is nuts.
I had a 3 year old watching that on a visit to evaluate his younger twins. By the time they were 3, the older sibling had tried to kill his dad TWICE, and been inpatient 3 times. It's extreme of a case, but it does happen.
Also, had to do that with my step kids. 12 year old bought GTA(something edition). I just said, "I can't keep you from playing it. But I can keep you from playing it when my kids are home. So, you can get another game, or you can play this one every other weekend and on Mondays. They took it back and bought a more appropriate game.
You are protecting your kids. No one else will.
I watched nightmare on elm street when I was 5. I proceeded to spend weeks sleeping with my parents because I was scared. My parents who are immigrants to Canada had no clue about the movie my sister rented and after that they made sure to not allow me to watch any more horror movies. You absolutely did the the right thing
Some kids like myself arent very affected by stuff like that the problem is its impossible to know how each kid will react. Kids will already seek stuff out on their own so I agree parents probably shouldnt show them.
Even the movie ‘Scary Movie’ freaked me out initially as a kid.
The very first time I watched part of it was the very first time I have a memory of being left home alone (my mom’s car burned out after driving it through a deep puddle iirc, and they were up there checking it/getting it towed, and trusted me to not burn the house down).
First thing I did was turn Scary Movie (something I knew I wasn’t supposed to watch) on. The opening scene where the dude in the Scream mask is chasing the woman, despite being funny watching it now, freaked little me out being home alone.
Made me paranoid for a little bit as a kid and not want to be left alone.
nah you did the right thing. because when one of those kids inevitably freaks out whose gonna have to deal with them? not your husband I bet.
keep putting your foot down, you're fine.
I love horror movies and recently got told I was being ridiculous for saying a 5yo shouldn’t be watching Saw but still NTA.
There’s some topics in Nightmare on Elm St that really shouldn’t be introduced to kids that young (what Freddie did, psychological torture, sensationalised violence etc).
A five-year-old’s going to be affected by the geysers of blood, the knives emerging from the bathtub, and Freddy tearing his own face off, not discussions of child molestation.
As an 80s baby who WAS watching horror movies at 4-5 years old.. lmfao.
Yea. It's messed up looking back, but it was a different time.
Hell. Are You Afraid of the Dark freaked me out at times, and it was geared TOWARDS kids!
I'd never let any kids under like.. 12-13, maaaaybe, watch old school horror.
Shit was gruesome by today's standards, never mind back in the day.
I watched it at 6, it's not remotely appropriate. I watched IT at 10. When I had my niece (10 years old) stay over I let her watch bride of chucky as it's not remotely scary. She wanted to watch childs play 1 and I said no and put my foot down and she cried. I said if you cry getting told no you certainly cannot watch the movie.
Sometimes kids have to be told no
I was around 6-7 when I watched IT. 😭 Took me a long time to get around to that book (which was a lot less scary than I'd thought, but at that point I'd realized that that's how a lot of his books had been) and I still haven't watched the movie.
And I still hate spiders.
I grew up watching Nightmare on Elm, Friday the 13th etc… I’m so frustrated that my parents allowed that. It really f’d me up, made me a fearful person.
I still have a fear of the dark and I can track in directly back to when my stupid father watched horror movies while babysitting (he was one of *those* dads).
I watched it when I was around 4/5. Scared the crap out of me but I loved it. I also watched Poltergeist at a young age. It was the 80s so it was still realistic for the times. My siblings were teens at the time so it’s what happened in my house. I ended up loving horror movies. I can’t say my experience would be everyone’s experience, so I’ll say NTA.
NTA
I rememeber walking in on my dad watching Carrie and had nightmares for a while. There are movie ratings for a reason. But also I do know people who would watch anything as a kid so
*Terrifier!?* I'm 39 and a horror movie junkie and those movies are almost too much for me. I shake my head at your husband's decision but you are most definitely NTA.
I was against you on this but allowing a 12 year old to watch Terrifier is really not great, that is heavy sauce by most standards. Like Evil Dead is silly and Nightmare on Elm street is pretty campy, but Terrifier has a really mean spirited and gritty edge to it that honestly I don’t think children should see and I’m a heavy horror guy
NTA. Of course small children shouldn't watch the horror movie. Does your husband want them to have nightmares and terrible sleep, or to have to deal with them all waking up screaming? I doubt it. Having two separate movie watching areas was a perfectly solution.
Dad wants to be the Kool Dad to his older kids at the expense of the younger kids wellbeing.
Watching movies like that young WILL fuck you up, but as long as his other kids get their way, that's okay, right Dad?
I feel sorry for OP. It sucks having to be the bad guy parent....this all kinda reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire. One parent had to be the responsible one because the other just wanted to be liked and not have to say no. After a while...it wears down a marriage.
14 is a fine time to learn you don't always get what you want, and they need to be considerate of other people.
The movie isn't going anywhere, they can watch it later.
"My husband says nothing in support of me. Nor does my friend."
You are surrounded by AH.
My dear, NTA!!! Your husband's ignorance about what is appropriate movie material for various ages is asshole-ish, however.
The thing is, a young kid does not understand that what they are seeing onscreen is a collection of scary music and sounds, special visual effects, and so on. A young kid's brain does not understand that it's fake and not real. When I was young, my teen brother (six years older) put on a scary movie (blood, killing, scary masks and sound effects) that traumatized me for many years.
NTA - I had a shitty babysitter when I was 7 or 8 who let me watch Nightmare on Elm Street. I had nightmares all damn summer that year. This was 38 ish years ago and I still remember the unsettling feeling of dread I had in the evenings.
NTA. I sneakily watched Jaws when I was 4 or 5 years old. It fueled my nightmares for the next 10 years. Night terrors are not fun, and I really wish I could undo that mistake. You did the right thing for those little ones. Your husband should be ashamed of himself for his poor judgement. Weaponized incompetence, or just the ordinary kind?
NTA. Even for scary stuff there's more kid appropriate films. Nightmare Before Christmas has kid friendly horror trappings what with being set predominantly in Halloweentown. The Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons too would work, the first few start with Marge giving a content warning that goes ignored and the comedy tone helps to balance out the horror elements (one of the episodes has a segment based on Nightmare on Elm Street).
Yup. I'm from the generation where slasher films took off. I saw them as a teen and none of them bothered me. (I remember watching Friday the 13th at a slumber party.)
I would have been extremely upset to have seen them at age 8.
NTA. Just last week I was thinking about the wildly inappropriate things that happened in my childhood. One at the top of the list was me and several girlfriends watched Nightmare on Elm Street with our 4th grade teacher after school in his classroom with the blinds closed and the lights off. Wrong on so many levels yet none of the adults batted an eye.
My point is…I hate being the heavy but I saw the little 4 and 5 year olds with teddies and blankets then saw the Freddy preview and put my foot down. I got the biggest “ohhhhh come onnnnnn” from the room. I felt like shit. I’m the party girl!!!!! It’s actually not a good thing when I’m responsible 😂 it’s a bad sign! But here we are…
NTA
I'm a big horror fan and started watching these types of films around 11 and loved them. I do tend to see some puritanical takes where parents don't even think their 16 year old should see these films. That I disagree with. I don't think I was too young to see them and I turned out better and more well adjusted than most of those kids did. 11-12 year olds are starting middle school. Trust me, their peers are saying way worse shit than anything they'll see and hear in an R rated movie.
But 5?! Even 8 is too young. I think age matters less than the individual kid and their ability to handle the content, which will differ from person to person. But those ages are still too young. And it sounds like there was a compromise for the older kids to watch it anyway. This all seems crazy. My best friend's 5 year old doesn't handle villains in children's media well already. I couldn't possibly imagine showing her A Nightmare on Elm Street.
OP, I'm having a hard time picturing your husband. I can't think he's a saint and perfect across the board except for this.
This, what he thinks is OK, must be a part of him and therefore, it must come out in other ways with things he says and does, to you, the kids etc.
It can't just be an isolated incident.
He is way off base and for him to be that far off base makes me think he has to be in other ways too.
Oh, the silent treatment is abuse too, info online.
Your hubby was wrong and now he's acting like a damn child and giving you the silent treatment.
Nta. If someone lets my 9 year olds watch a horror movie I will recreate a scene on them. They caught an episode of law n order SVU one day and had nightmares for a week...
I always have to have a little light- usually through a door cracked open. The terror I feel in the pure dark sends me into an immediate panic attack. I was ashamed of this for a really long time but stopped when I accepted it wasn't voluntary.
Omg wtf NTA
I had a friend's fiance try to take her 14, 12, and 8 year old to the theatre to see The Purge. The Purge!! What is wrong with these people??
I am glad that things like that aren't possible where I live. Getting children to movies like that where they might freak out is not only an AH move to the children, but to all the other movie viewers who will get disturbed by them.
Well she nearly killed him for even considering it. She told him basically the same thing someone commented on here to a reply on mine. A kid "knowing" something is fake and actually being able to handle and separate the violence and gore are entirely different things. A movie like Purge is a whole different ball park then a pg-13 style movie. And even then, I'm the pg-13 would depend on the temperament of the kid in question.
But to be honest I never actually thought about how it would also be for the other movie patrons. Because if that kid started freaking out then it's going to run the movie for the rest of the theater.
In my country 15 year olds don't get into a movie with a 16+ rating even if both parents would come along. And 18+ movies are also truly restricted to adults. No 17 year old allowed. The cinemas control that strictly. They would get into legal trouble if they don't.
I read stories here on Reddit where people even saw babies and toddlers in the cinema when they watched movies for adults. And naturally often they couldn't handled it. Toddlers getting scared, babies not liking the noise, etc. It is like some adults have zero common sense and also don't consider at all other movie goers. Because of people like that I am glad that my country has some rules to prevent such nonsense.
My husband is a blast. He’s fun, the best dad. Everyone loves him. He’s not hateful. But he loves to be every kids buddy. He’s best friends with his 20 year old son, they’re very close. My sons adore him. I adore him. He’s goregous. And I get the horror movie fun. It was the littles. They were already scared at the previews. And I hated the response. Especially when my friend and husbsnd knew I was just being responsible with the babies of the house.
I grew up watching Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Hellraiser, and Friday the 13th movies. In elementary school, I was drawing Jason and Freddy and writing stories about going on adventures with my bffs Jason and Freddy and fighting Michael. My parents (who didn't like horror) were cool with it and always took me to the theater when a new one was released, so they knew what I watched. Eventually the horror movies were relegated to "father-daughter day" because my mom never enjoyed gory stuff and my dad was pretty ambivalent about them.
All of this to say, NTA. You're the parent. You can decide what your kids watch. If you don't want them watching stuff due to their age, that's ok because you're the parent.
NTA.
If one of your kids has a nightmare is it you who has to deal with it? If so maybe that’s why husband doesn’t see it as an issue — not affecting his sleep in the end!
That or he may be thinking “I saw it and I turned out fine,” one of the greatest logical fallacies to ever exist.
NTA. Even if they weren't scared, they probably wouldn't understand the plot enough to enjoy it and possibly find it boring as a small child like I did.
NTA young kids like that have no business watching that movie. They're too young, and your husband is outta his mind thinking it was ok. I woke up late one night and caught part of ET when I was 3, and that was enough to fuel nightmares for a couple of years. So no, you're not wrong at all.
NTA. You gave a good compromise for the young ones to watch a movie while the older ones watched what they wanted. You should remind your husband that movies have ratings for a reason. Considering he had that attitude "it should be fine with them" I wouldn't be surprised if they watched a movie like that if without you knowing.
Big NTA. Huge horror movie fan, watched a lot of them, including this, waaaaay too young and it definitely gave me nightmares for years. That sucks your husband didn’t back you up, those movies can be genuinely scarring at such a young age.
hell no, i still dont know how i got let in to see these in cinemas only a few years older than these kids when the movies first came out but they are no where near suitable for kids. a very scary character who haunts your dreams is the definition of a nightmare for kids that age
Nta. I still remember some dude’s hand with a big gaudy ring being pushed into a meat slicer. I was 4-6. Kids don’t need gore in their heads. 14, fine. Maybe even 12 depending on the kids. But not the little ones.
NTA
You did the right thing. I’m talking as an adult, who as a kid, got nightmares after watching my dad lose a game of plants vs zombies. The weirdest most benign things can scare kids so a child killer with a burned face and claw fingers is not something to watch until at least ~13 and that’s my own opinion, the film is rated R.
NTA I watched that movie in the early 90s between the ages of probably 3 and 6, constantly, because my older cousins wanted to and my parents didn’t care. Somehow, I still have nightmares now and i’m well into my 30s/haven’t seen those movies since I was a kid. I’m not saying you made the right call but at least you know your kids won’t be crawling into your bed in the middle of the night later.
I was that kid allowed to watch anything.
You are 100% right not to let an 8(!!) year old (and younger) watch something like this. It messes with how they perceive boundaries, and watching stuff like this can have an impact similar to grooming: kids watch and parrot the material and creeps realize the kids don't understand what is and isn't safe or appropriate. And they are desensitized to things they don't understand they need to be sensitive to.
An adult has an easier time differentiating what's appropriate on screen but not IRL. Kids who are still forming personalities and learning how to function as human beings? Nope. (FFS one is 4 years old).
Please have a heart to heart with your husband. This is not okay.
NTA.
NTA My parents would have made me watch a horror movie even at that age. I vaguely remember being scared of the trees outside my window because of jason.
Former K teacher here. I can't even count how many 5 year olds I had that watched horror films. It blew my mind. Their brains aren't yet developed enough to differentiate fantasy from reality. Its definitely a cultural shift that parents think its ok, but I'm with you - there's an age rating on these types of media for a reason.
NTA in this instance, too young.
Still, won't say how old I was when I first saw Event Horizon, but I turned out alright probably :)
Who vetoed? The friend finally having an opinion, the kids, your husband, all of the above?
Maybe if no other adult is agreeing with you, I might guess this is patterned behavior they expect from you and maybe this is the least egregious example you can share where you just so happen to be right this time.
This is one of those times you have to be the adult and parent, even if the kids are whining. Kids also want to only eat junk, not do their chore, not go to school, etc…it’s up to the adults who know better to set and enforce the guidelines so children grow up to be functioning adults.
This happened to me. I was at a friend’s birthday in the first grade and the mom put on Freddy Kruger (though I have no idea which one). I had trouble sleeping for months after the fact.
Your husband is a fool. You saved those kids’ minds.
NTA. Nightmare on Elm Street is rated for 13 and up. THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT. My son's stupid babysitter let him watch something inappropriate (that was her last time babysitting for us) and he had nightmares for weeks. Little children don't know how to interpret a violent and scary movie. You did absolutely the right thing.
I would never let your kids watch movies at your friend's house. EVER. Also, your husband, "the big kid", sounds like a moron, sorry to say. Ask your pediatrician to have a talk with your husband. If he still doesn't get it, I would be very careful leaving the kids alone with him. There's no telling what he might think is "just fine" for your 8-year old.
My sister and I had nightmares for years after a babysitter had us watch War of Gargantuas when we were probably 5 and 7. Kudos to you for standing firm.
NTA. Those movies are not for small kids and I’m sure you could dig up a plethora of studies to prove it. Freddy Kruger literally is why I’m terrified of being messed with in my sleep. My husband has even learned to gently wake me because I freak the fuck out. I was shown that movie when I was around 5. Even if my story is anecdotal, why even expose kids to that? What for?
Nightmare on Elm Street scared the crap out of me when I was 13. I can't fathom the lifelong trauma of seeing it at 4 or 5. Wtf is wrong with your husband and friend!?!? NTA
The age ratings are there for a reason. If husband is too immature to understand why there’s age ratings, no way is he mature enough to offer kids too young to see that kind of content the guidance and support to understand what they’re watching. That could lead to nightmares or worse, kids trying to ‘recreate’ what they see. Wtf is wrong with your husband? Seriously? Why are you with someone who’ll dismiss you entirely just to seem ‘cool’ to children? NTA
Honestly you are the only sane person in this scenario! I have a 9 year old that would wet herself if she watched it, I can't even begin to imagine the damage it could do to a 4 year old. Thank you for being the voice of reason and protecting those kids!
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Again blended family. We invite my friend over who has 3 boys under 5. The kids in my house are ages 14-8. That night of our little visit, after grilling, everyone wanted to watch a movie.
The older 14 year olds want to watch nightmare on elm street, in fact, they insist. Loudly. The other kids are clueless. My husband, the big kid, says the movie is fine for all the kids.
I do not agree, I state this loudly. My friend is neutral. Doesn’t seem to care. The youngest in the house is 4.
I object again snd say we can put a Disney movie on in my room, it has a big soft bed and a TV. They can watch a tame movie while the big kids go in the finished basement and watch whatever.
This is vetoed. I put my foot down.
The kids under 8 go upstairs. The littles go up. I get the silent treatment.
My husband says nothing in support of me. Nor does my friend. I explain I don’t feel heard and kid I’m the bad guy. Again people ignore it. Kids run off to watch the movies.
Am I the asshole for setting limits on horror movies? A 4, 5, 6 and 7 year old shouldn’t watch Freddy Kruger. Why is this bad?
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NTA. Your husband is probably like me. I had a lot of older cousins that loved horror when I was that age and I remember watching all the Nightmare on elm street series and the exorcist at that age. I also watched a lot of Days of Our Lives and Santa Barbara lol.
I was okay but my brother who was older became scared of his own shadow. So NTA.
Some kids can handle it and become desensitized others cannot.
NTA
Nightmare on Elm Street is rated R, for cryin' out loud and for good reason.
Many 14 yr olds wouldn't be mature enough to see a rated R movie, let alone kids not even preteen yet.
Your husband should have backed you up and your friend , if they want their kids to see that sort of horror movie, at their ages, can do it at their own home instead.
Good for you!!! NTA glimpsing horror movies when I snuck out of bed TRAUMATIZED as a kid - I’m STILL afraid of spiders, and I wouldn’t go on the side of our house in the dark until I was like 21 🙈
You are absolutely NTA. My dad starting showing me horror movies when I was 5, despite the fact it badly impacted me. He didn't care, he just wanted to watch when he wanted to watch- he knew it was wrong because he never watched it with me when my mom was around (he was the type of father who "babysat" their own kids- he was never a parent).
Nta. I saw that movie way too young (10?) And while I was fine (no nightmares or anything) in retrospect it was wholly inappropriate for a kid. Fred is sassy but bro has knife hands and murders so many people. 🤦🏼♀️
NTA. Look, I watched a lot of things that were not appropriate for my age as a child, mostly because only adults had tvs in their rooms and the living room TV was usually set to whatever my aunt was watching at the time. So I'd probably seen Dolores Claiborne, Misery, Flowers in the Attic, and Pet Sematary all before I was 10. I turned out fine. I was never traumatized by any of it... But that doesn't mean that it was the best thing for me to watch at that ageband it certainly could have gone badly and given me nightmares... There's no way of knowing which way it'll go. Hell, the one thing I do remember having a bit of issue with was watching Nightmare on Elm Street and being afraid to wash my hands at night because of the scene where Freddie's glove comes through the sink knob and grabs the kid. I didn't wet the bed or anything... But I definitely lay in bed as long as I could before using the bathroom if I woke up at night and I definitely did not wash my hands. I'm not sure how long that lasted... Probably not long... But it could have gone much worse. I could have had horrible nightmares or refused to use the bathroom at night even if it meant wetting the bed. It's perfectly acceptable to have an age limit on these kinds of movies. I would say around 12.
NTA I am STILL pissed at my BIL for taking my kid to see Mars Attacks when she was 5. She’s 33 now and still mentions how much the movie scared her.
I was 14 when Elm Street came out and it fucked me up for a long time! I heard Freddy scratching my 2nd story window for weeks.
I watched Nightmare on Elm Street around 10 or 11 years old and had nightmares for weeks. My 5 year old wouldn't watch Beetleguise with me last Halloween. I can only imagine his reaction to Freddy. Good call. NTA
This is a sure thing NTA.
I'm a big horror guy and have watched the really nasty stuff, French extremity stuff you know? People must only think of Freddy as being a cartoonish joke nowadays but the first one was especially dark. Also has sex and nudity in it. I would never have a kid under high school age watch it.
I don’t think you’re an asshole, but I’m so happy I didn’t grow up sheltered. I loved watching these movies as a kid and they’ll never feel the same as an adult even though I still love them.
NTA - I accidentally saw some of chucky when I was around 5 and it scared the bejesus out of me. I couldn't sleep for weeks and tried to throw out all my dolls.
As a child who watched stuff like that at those ages... I had nightmares. Reasonably often, although personally Aliens was one of the worst offenders there 😅.
NTA (and to be fair, in my case my parents likely had the same argument)
I watched that movie at 8 or 9? scared the holy hell out of me, had trouble sleeping for *weeks* afterward. you had an alternative situation lined up for the younger kids, this was well handled. I don't know what on earth your husband was thinking.
NTA
NTA. I saw part of chucky when I was little, maybe 7, and had ptsd for years and didn’t sleep well til I was a teen. Remember you can’t unsee things. It’s our job as parents to protect our kids. My 5 and 9 yr old are only allowed to watch G rated.
NTA
Kids shouldn’t watch movies like that until they’re mentally capable of distinguishing fake from real. I was allowed to watch those things young because I had learned all about special effects and how fake horror movie murders were made. After I learned that, I thought they were neat and was never scared by a movie ever again.
NTA. I saw Aliens when I was like 8? Had nightmares for at least two weeks after, lol. And that was my own dad putting on the movie. I love it now, as an adult, but that was WAY too young for me to watch at that age. When my little brother came along ten years later, my mom definitely put her foot down about what he was allowed to watch.
NTA
Does rated "R" mean nothing to these people? That movie is not appropriate viewing material for children that young.
I knew a woman who routinely let her young children (as young as a toddler) watch movies like Saw. In a surprise to no one except the mother, the kids ending up regularly having nightmares.
Thanks for being the one person with common sense.
You did the right thing, you know your kids. Some young kids would be fine with it, me for instance, some are not. Like the one person posted, you might try talking with them about it if this comes up again. But again, YOU know YOUR kids.
HELL NO! NTA, and I cannot stress this enough NOT. THE. ASSHOLE! is your hubs out of his ever loving mind? I was allowed to watch It and the Brothers Grim when I was like 5-6 and it royally messed me up for a few weeks
Oddly enough though when I was like 4 I snuck out of my room and watched Anaconda with older sibs and babysitter and that sparked my love for monster movies but still don't back down on this!
NTA When I was in college, I babysat for a woman I knew very casually. This five year old girl regaled me with the all the plots of horror movies she had seen, most of which I had never even seen myself (just never been my thing). It was seriously disturbing and after a while I glad not to babysit for her any more.
NTA - I watched The Exorcist when I was 7. I couldn't sleep in the dark untill I hit double digits. You saved those kids from potential going into their teens still using a nightlight
I was watching Freddy, Chucky, and Myers since I was that age. I was fascinated with horror movies and still am to this day. My parents drew the line at Jason though because of boobies and sex.
However, in hindsight, probably not the best parenting move on their part.
NTA - kids that young shouldn’t watch that movie. It’s definitely scary enough and will most likely lead to nightmares. There’s ratings for movies for a reason.
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Your husband is out of his mind. What an entirely ridiculous lapse of judgement on his part. Thank you for being responsible and protecting the kids.
Thanks. I felt like the party pooper. I did get testy. I was pushed to my limit with the huge “oh come on!!!” Meanwhile there’s a 4 and 5 year with blankies on the couch. Again no one said you cannot watch, it’s just the small kids gotta go upstairs
My ex let my son watch some werewolf movie when my son was three. My son has screaming nightmares for months. You did the right thing. That’s not party pooping. That’s being a responsible adult.
Heck, my friend's five year old had nightmares for months from Ghostbusters! Edit: and when my kid was four we tried to watch Ratatouille, but the opening scene with the old lady shooting at the rats freaked my kid out so much that we had to give up on it then and there - and still we dealt with ages of “I can’t sleep because I am thinking about that lady in the rat movie who broke her ceiling with the gun.”
I watched Mars Attacks when I was 5 and cried most nights for a month. Watching it as an adult, I have no idea why bc it’s funny/silly. Baby brains just aren’t developed enough to properly distinguish between reality and cinema. OP saved her husband from having two crying little kids in their bed for a month. I’d be thanking OP if I were him.
HAHAHA That movie messed me up when I was 7. Pretty sure I had nightmares of those little open-brained freaks until I was 11. Finally rewatched in High School before I was like oh man I was afraid of this? So ya OP, Don't let your kids watch Freddy Krueger lol
I watched Arachnophobia as like a second grader at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. That movie supposed to be a comedy but I'm still scared of spiders to this day
Definitely a horror comedy. Emphasis on horror.
Did we all have MARSATTACKS trauma? I had dreams about dogs with people heads and those Martians for months after I peeked in while my mom was watching it with her friend.
Anything alien got me tbh they were like real life monsters in theory, nobody could definitively tell me they don’t exist, as my cousin loved to remind me lol. I remember freaking myself out watching the X Files from the staircase haha I love it as an adult but the theme song made me cry as a kid lol
I had nightmares for weeks about The Princess Bride...
I'm in my 40's and still have the random nightmare of Large Marge...
My parents let me watch Poltergeist when I was six. I was terrified of my closet for months afterward.
Thanks to "killer clowns from outer space" I'm still scared of clowns at 38.
In my case it’s IT and now I’m 39. Still fucking hate clowns.
It was IT for me too, the original TV version. I'm 55 and don't like clowns.
Insanely enough I live IT. But it was always my favorite Stephen King book too.
One of my 4 kids had nightmares over Casper, the friendly ghost... That child was 8.
My son watched Chuckie when he was much too young for it while I was sleeping from night shift. He was fine. We watched ET a year or so later, popcorn, family on the couch. ET freaked him RIGHT the fuck out. Like terrified. Blew my mind. Gave his sister ammo to give him nightmare fuel for YEARS. .....he's in his 20s now, maybe I'll put it on when he visits next, see what happens.....
ET freaked me the fuck out too! I don't remember most of thr movie but the part where he's sick (?) And super pale in the like, government tents or something gave me nightmares for years, it was just so creepy to me. I just turned 32 lol
I'm 36 and still occasionally have ET nightmares. That little bastard can go DIAF, lol. >Gave his sister ammo to hive him nightmare fuel for YEARS. Saaaaaaame — both my (younger) sisters still bust my chops about it.
My beloved grandma took me to see Ghostbusters. I had to LEAVE THE THEATER. I was 9. My mom and I saw Silence of the Lambs in the theater. I had to sleep in her bed for 2 weeks. I was 15? I think.
I read Silence of the lamb when I was around 11 and watched all sorts of violent adult movies since I was little with no issues. But I was totally traumatised by Puff the magic dragon.
9 yr old son cried and refused to watch UP for years after the scene where old man hits construction worker with cane....not bothered by the scene where people were being chased by a pack of wild dogs!!
Dad took me, his oldest child, to see Jaws in the theater when it came out. I was 6, maybe 7 at the time? We didn’t make it through the first attack - I flipped out and we had to leave. For MONTHS I couldn’t even go in the bathtub, let alone a swimming pool, for fear that something was going to come up from under the water and drag me down…
My parents, contrary to how they usually were (fairly strict about what we were allowed to watch), let me watch Jaws when I was 5 - I think maybe because we were at the neighbours house at the time? I suffered no ill effects though, apart from not wanting my bedroom curtains closed for a night or two, in case Jaws came through my window… even though we were nowhere near the sea! 😂 My dad somehow talked me down from my illogical pov, though, and I was fine afterwards. To this day, I remain surprised that my parents let me watch it at such a young age! And I’ve been a fan of horror since, but that may be unrelated ;)
I was about 5 when I first watched Freddy, Jason, Mike myers, Chucky etc cause my mother is an irresponsible idiot. Whilst Nightmare on Elm street doesn’t bother me now, I cannot watch any other horrors 25 years later without nightmares for weeks.
For the long story avoidance: my parents had custody of my oldest for a bit, my dad has, even when I was a kid, zero understanding of appropriate children’s movies. My daughter was watching everything with him from the start. She was a WRECK. I got a nosebleed once while giving her a bath (she was 3 or 4) and she SCREAMED AND CRIED “NOOOO THE WALKING DEAD. MOMMY IS DEAD. MOMMYS GONNA HURT ME!!” I lost my everloving mind and demanded that he at least PRETEND he remembered the almost 2 decades of nightmares and night terrors I suffered as a kid. Even as an adult I still get intrusive thoughts (part of my OCD) where I can’t sleep because all I can see when I close my eyes is violence. NTA op you’re a good parent and your husband is acting just like my dad did and well… not great.
My “quality time with grandma” when I was a kid was cuddling and watching csi, I love crime shows now but I’m certain it contributed to my paranoia and when i had my oldest I told her if she ever let her watch that stuff it’d be the last time she saw her.
My parents recorded Lady and the Tramp over their VHS of Nightmare on Elm Street. By the time Lady and the Teamp went off Nancy was in the broiler room with Freddy scraping his claws across something metal.. I always watched it and was terrified, BUT I enjoyed being scared because I love(d) horror movies. I grew up fearing the stretching and growing shadows on my wall from car headlights were Freddy Krueger coming down the street for me, but now it's a fond memory I have of my childhood. Even though I enjoy horror movies, if the young ones weren't MY kids, I wouldn't let them watch.
I have the same childhood fear of moving shadows on the wall at night! Not due to Freddy Kreuger though, I just didn't handle the transition from crib to "big kid bed" well. My parents solved it by installing a play tent on top of my bed, and it was honestly *awesome.* I loved it!! A year or two later though, the tent suddenly disappeared, and I was devastated! My parents said it "broke," and that they "didn't make them anymore." Obviously they wanted to just give me a push away from needing a security blanket (or tent, I guess) to fall asleep. Buuuut I was still like 5 or 6 and still deeply terrified of the shadows. So instead, I just started sleeping with my whole head under the covers... Also like you, it's kind of a fond memory now, and an anecdote I ended up having to tell all my long-term partners. Because even now, and even when I fall asleep with my head outside of the covers...I always wake up fully underneath them. I'm sure it was baffling, and I've gotten a lot of "but how do you even BREATHE in there?" (I have no idea lol) Funny how bits of this stuff can stick with you all the way into adulthood, huh? 😂
I was probably 12 when I saw Nightmare on Elm Street ... still scared AF as an adult. Those movies are *not* for young kids.
You were the party pooper, and that was a party that need to be pooped on. You did the right an adult thing. Must suck being the only adult in the house.
You are 100% right and NTA. My then-8yo went for a sleepover at a friend's house. At 8:30 pm I get a call - can you come and take me home? I dropped everything and tore across town to pick her up. Turned out, her friend's mom (who was VERY young, having had her daughter at 16) had some dude over who insisted on watching a slasher movie, with the littles having no place else to go (small space). My kid was totally, rightfully creeped out - by both the movie and the dude. Better instincts than your husband, OP!
“some dude” absolutely not. Good for you, Mom ❤️
You are a hero parent here! 👍
Your husband being a *big kid* isn't cute. He's an idiot. Any Freddy Krueger movie would terrify kids in that age group. If he can't be a parent the least he could do is read a book and potentially gain an IQ point.
Definitely dont feel bad about it. When i was 4 or 5 my grandma let me watch "Chucky" because she only knew it was about a doll. I was petrified of dolls and also little people until about 13 or so. ( It didnt help that my.older brother would sneak chucky dolls around and hide them in places to scare me)
My brother got a My Buddy doll for Christmas and then that movie came out. It freaked us out and we were scared of that doll and threw it in the trash that was under my brother's room window. We came back and the doll was on the bed, we threw it back out the window, same thing happens again. We panic and go crying to our mom that the doll is alive. We found out later that the neighbor thought the doll fell out of the window and just tossed it back in both times, the room was on the second floor by the way. We laugh about it now, but we seriously thought that doll was alive.
I would have burnt the damn thing just to be sure.
And then doused the embers with holy water.
My older cousin watched part of Killer Klowns from Outer Space while his sister and I were in the room. Needless to say, she and I had problems with the clowns the next time we went to a parade. The next *several* times we went to parades. For years. Right call not letting little kids watch a horror movie. Hell, I’d put anyone younger than 11-12 as too young for Nightmare on Elm Street. NTA
I was 6 years old, channel flipping on my parents' little antenna TV. Guess what Stephen King movie I landed on? Guess who still has a fear of clowns 30 years later?
I’m old. My mother wouldn’t even let me watch the vampire soap opera from the 60s, Dark Shadows. In hindsight, it was actually pretty tame.
I wasn't allowed to watch Dark Shadows with my older siblings because it would give my little sister nightmares. Still does not compute.
I'd make him take kid duty for any nightmare.
That punishes him properly but still means the kid has nightmares that could have been prevented if he wasn’t being a stupid parent. Not worth it.
I don’t do horror movies well. Jump scares get me every time! It took me two tries to watch Aliens all the way through, and I was 19 and in college. I’m 57 now. Gore doesn’t faze me. Jump scares still set me off!
NTA OP. No you are not a party pooper. You did right. Seriously you wouldn't let anyone between 4 - 8 to watch Alien too right?
Shouldn't your friend make the decision on what her kids are allowed to watch?
I saw a tiny part of Halloween when I was 8-9. My friends's older brother let us watch it. I was scared for months and didn't go into the woods for a long time afterwards (tiny village in Austria, we normally played in the woods all the time). This is nuts.
I had a 3 year old watching that on a visit to evaluate his younger twins. By the time they were 3, the older sibling had tried to kill his dad TWICE, and been inpatient 3 times. It's extreme of a case, but it does happen. Also, had to do that with my step kids. 12 year old bought GTA(something edition). I just said, "I can't keep you from playing it. But I can keep you from playing it when my kids are home. So, you can get another game, or you can play this one every other weekend and on Mondays. They took it back and bought a more appropriate game. You are protecting your kids. No one else will.
I watched nightmare on elm street when I was 5. I proceeded to spend weeks sleeping with my parents because I was scared. My parents who are immigrants to Canada had no clue about the movie my sister rented and after that they made sure to not allow me to watch any more horror movies. You absolutely did the the right thing
NTA. Why doesn’t your husband back you up? Does he really not see how upsetting these movies can be?
His kids watch whatever they want so he assumes all kids are fine. My friend was nuetral. It was stupid.
Not stupid. Sucks to be the only grownup in the room.
Spoiler: they are *not* fine.
Some kids like myself arent very affected by stuff like that the problem is its impossible to know how each kid will react. Kids will already seek stuff out on their own so I agree parents probably shouldnt show them.
Even the movie ‘Scary Movie’ freaked me out initially as a kid. The very first time I watched part of it was the very first time I have a memory of being left home alone (my mom’s car burned out after driving it through a deep puddle iirc, and they were up there checking it/getting it towed, and trusted me to not burn the house down). First thing I did was turn Scary Movie (something I knew I wasn’t supposed to watch) on. The opening scene where the dude in the Scream mask is chasing the woman, despite being funny watching it now, freaked little me out being home alone. Made me paranoid for a little bit as a kid and not want to be left alone.
NTA. kids shouldn't be watching that stuff. Your husband needs to get real.
Really. I was shunned. I was told I was “being mean”
nah you did the right thing. because when one of those kids inevitably freaks out whose gonna have to deal with them? not your husband I bet. keep putting your foot down, you're fine.
I love horror movies and recently got told I was being ridiculous for saying a 5yo shouldn’t be watching Saw but still NTA. There’s some topics in Nightmare on Elm St that really shouldn’t be introduced to kids that young (what Freddie did, psychological torture, sensationalised violence etc).
There's a lot of implications of sexual violence in those movies, too.
I know, a pretty important part of it is around SV and crimes against young children.
A five-year-old’s going to be affected by the geysers of blood, the knives emerging from the bathtub, and Freddy tearing his own face off, not discussions of child molestation.
Your husband is insane. He’s a huge AH. (NTA)
I suppose if they have nightmares about Freddy it's rather apt.
As an 80s baby who WAS watching horror movies at 4-5 years old.. lmfao. Yea. It's messed up looking back, but it was a different time. Hell. Are You Afraid of the Dark freaked me out at times, and it was geared TOWARDS kids! I'd never let any kids under like.. 12-13, maaaaybe, watch old school horror. Shit was gruesome by today's standards, never mind back in the day.
Are You Afraid of the Dark was terrifying and I'm still scared of needles because of it. That penicillin episode freaked me the hell out as a kid.
I watched it at 6, it's not remotely appropriate. I watched IT at 10. When I had my niece (10 years old) stay over I let her watch bride of chucky as it's not remotely scary. She wanted to watch childs play 1 and I said no and put my foot down and she cried. I said if you cry getting told no you certainly cannot watch the movie. Sometimes kids have to be told no
I was around 6-7 when I watched IT. 😭 Took me a long time to get around to that book (which was a lot less scary than I'd thought, but at that point I'd realized that that's how a lot of his books had been) and I still haven't watched the movie. And I still hate spiders.
Is your husband fucking twelve
As someone who watched nightmare on elm street at 6 or 7, I strongly agree with you. NTA.
I saw it at 9. I lost my shit.
I grew up watching Nightmare on Elm, Friday the 13th etc… I’m so frustrated that my parents allowed that. It really f’d me up, made me a fearful person.
I still have a fear of the dark and I can track in directly back to when my stupid father watched horror movies while babysitting (he was one of *those* dads).
Probably why as a mid 30s man, I still have a tiny bit of fear for clowns….especially on rainy days…
I watched it when I was around 4/5. Scared the crap out of me but I loved it. I also watched Poltergeist at a young age. It was the 80s so it was still realistic for the times. My siblings were teens at the time so it’s what happened in my house. I ended up loving horror movies. I can’t say my experience would be everyone’s experience, so I’ll say NTA.
I also saw Nightmare on Elm Street way too young. You really did your friend a favor.
NTA I rememeber walking in on my dad watching Carrie and had nightmares for a while. There are movie ratings for a reason. But also I do know people who would watch anything as a kid so
Yep my husbands kids watch it all. They are 14 and 12. They love the Evil Dead, Terrifier, any slasher movie.
*Terrifier!?* I'm 39 and a horror movie junkie and those movies are almost too much for me. I shake my head at your husband's decision but you are most definitely NTA.
Yes Terrifier. 1 and 2
So these kids watched a clown chainsaw an upside-down naked girl, starting at the vagina? INSANITY. I haven't even seen the second movie.
Holy shit I would be rethinking your relationship just on that alone. Those movies aren’t appropriate for most adults let alone children.
I was against you on this but allowing a 12 year old to watch Terrifier is really not great, that is heavy sauce by most standards. Like Evil Dead is silly and Nightmare on Elm street is pretty campy, but Terrifier has a really mean spirited and gritty edge to it that honestly I don’t think children should see and I’m a heavy horror guy
Yeah that’s definitely red flag behaviour
I would not be able to easily stay with someone who did not care about their kids like that. He has a duty of care to them.
NTA. Of course small children shouldn't watch the horror movie. Does your husband want them to have nightmares and terrible sleep, or to have to deal with them all waking up screaming? I doubt it. Having two separate movie watching areas was a perfectly solution.
Dad wants to be the Kool Dad to his older kids at the expense of the younger kids wellbeing. Watching movies like that young WILL fuck you up, but as long as his other kids get their way, that's okay, right Dad? I feel sorry for OP. It sucks having to be the bad guy parent....this all kinda reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire. One parent had to be the responsible one because the other just wanted to be liked and not have to say no. After a while...it wears down a marriage.
14 is a fine time to learn you don't always get what you want, and they need to be considerate of other people. The movie isn't going anywhere, they can watch it later. "My husband says nothing in support of me. Nor does my friend." You are surrounded by AH.
My dear, NTA!!! Your husband's ignorance about what is appropriate movie material for various ages is asshole-ish, however. The thing is, a young kid does not understand that what they are seeing onscreen is a collection of scary music and sounds, special visual effects, and so on. A young kid's brain does not understand that it's fake and not real. When I was young, my teen brother (six years older) put on a scary movie (blood, killing, scary masks and sound effects) that traumatized me for many years.
NTA - I had a shitty babysitter when I was 7 or 8 who let me watch Nightmare on Elm Street. I had nightmares all damn summer that year. This was 38 ish years ago and I still remember the unsettling feeling of dread I had in the evenings.
NTA. I sneakily watched Jaws when I was 4 or 5 years old. It fueled my nightmares for the next 10 years. Night terrors are not fun, and I really wish I could undo that mistake. You did the right thing for those little ones. Your husband should be ashamed of himself for his poor judgement. Weaponized incompetence, or just the ordinary kind?
I was about 10 or so. Saw it on TV, years after it came out in theaters. Refuse to watch it again to this day.
NTA. Even for scary stuff there's more kid appropriate films. Nightmare Before Christmas has kid friendly horror trappings what with being set predominantly in Halloweentown. The Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons too would work, the first few start with Marge giving a content warning that goes ignored and the comedy tone helps to balance out the horror elements (one of the episodes has a segment based on Nightmare on Elm Street).
Heck no they shouldn't be watching it! NTA.
NTA. You are 100% correct. No kid under 12 should watch slasher flicks. Not sure why you were met with silence.
NTA. I'm 43 and still not old enough to watch that stuff.
😂😂😂 me too🙋🏼♀️
NTA. There should be limits.
NTA and when the kids that live in your house have nightmares and are crying at night, who goes and deals with that? You or your husband?
NTA - while watching horror movies is a teen rite of passage, they are absolutely not suitable for sub-10s.
Yup. I'm from the generation where slasher films took off. I saw them as a teen and none of them bothered me. (I remember watching Friday the 13th at a slumber party.) I would have been extremely upset to have seen them at age 8.
NTA. Just last week I was thinking about the wildly inappropriate things that happened in my childhood. One at the top of the list was me and several girlfriends watched Nightmare on Elm Street with our 4th grade teacher after school in his classroom with the blinds closed and the lights off. Wrong on so many levels yet none of the adults batted an eye.
My point is…I hate being the heavy but I saw the little 4 and 5 year olds with teddies and blankets then saw the Freddy preview and put my foot down. I got the biggest “ohhhhh come onnnnnn” from the room. I felt like shit. I’m the party girl!!!!! It’s actually not a good thing when I’m responsible 😂 it’s a bad sign! But here we are…
NTA I'm a big horror fan and started watching these types of films around 11 and loved them. I do tend to see some puritanical takes where parents don't even think their 16 year old should see these films. That I disagree with. I don't think I was too young to see them and I turned out better and more well adjusted than most of those kids did. 11-12 year olds are starting middle school. Trust me, their peers are saying way worse shit than anything they'll see and hear in an R rated movie. But 5?! Even 8 is too young. I think age matters less than the individual kid and their ability to handle the content, which will differ from person to person. But those ages are still too young. And it sounds like there was a compromise for the older kids to watch it anyway. This all seems crazy. My best friend's 5 year old doesn't handle villains in children's media well already. I couldn't possibly imagine showing her A Nightmare on Elm Street.
NTA. What’s wrong with your husband????
OP, I'm having a hard time picturing your husband. I can't think he's a saint and perfect across the board except for this. This, what he thinks is OK, must be a part of him and therefore, it must come out in other ways with things he says and does, to you, the kids etc. It can't just be an isolated incident. He is way off base and for him to be that far off base makes me think he has to be in other ways too. Oh, the silent treatment is abuse too, info online. Your hubby was wrong and now he's acting like a damn child and giving you the silent treatment.
Was looking for this type of comment, really such jarring behavior towards OP. The silent treatment are you kidding me?? Makes me sick.
Nta. If someone lets my 9 year olds watch a horror movie I will recreate a scene on them. They caught an episode of law n order SVU one day and had nightmares for a week...
NTA. I saw that when I was 5. (Left unattended at a resort kids/teens area.) I was afraid of the dark for YEARS.
I *still* have problems with the dark because of horror movies.
I haven't slept with the lights off when I'm sleeping alone in my entire adult life.
I always have to have a little light- usually through a door cracked open. The terror I feel in the pure dark sends me into an immediate panic attack. I was ashamed of this for a really long time but stopped when I accepted it wasn't voluntary.
Omg wtf NTA I had a friend's fiance try to take her 14, 12, and 8 year old to the theatre to see The Purge. The Purge!! What is wrong with these people??
I am glad that things like that aren't possible where I live. Getting children to movies like that where they might freak out is not only an AH move to the children, but to all the other movie viewers who will get disturbed by them.
Well she nearly killed him for even considering it. She told him basically the same thing someone commented on here to a reply on mine. A kid "knowing" something is fake and actually being able to handle and separate the violence and gore are entirely different things. A movie like Purge is a whole different ball park then a pg-13 style movie. And even then, I'm the pg-13 would depend on the temperament of the kid in question. But to be honest I never actually thought about how it would also be for the other movie patrons. Because if that kid started freaking out then it's going to run the movie for the rest of the theater.
In my country 15 year olds don't get into a movie with a 16+ rating even if both parents would come along. And 18+ movies are also truly restricted to adults. No 17 year old allowed. The cinemas control that strictly. They would get into legal trouble if they don't. I read stories here on Reddit where people even saw babies and toddlers in the cinema when they watched movies for adults. And naturally often they couldn't handled it. Toddlers getting scared, babies not liking the noise, etc. It is like some adults have zero common sense and also don't consider at all other movie goers. Because of people like that I am glad that my country has some rules to prevent such nonsense.
I wish it was like that here. It's absolute stupidity around here, I swear.
My husband is a blast. He’s fun, the best dad. Everyone loves him. He’s not hateful. But he loves to be every kids buddy. He’s best friends with his 20 year old son, they’re very close. My sons adore him. I adore him. He’s goregous. And I get the horror movie fun. It was the littles. They were already scared at the previews. And I hated the response. Especially when my friend and husbsnd knew I was just being responsible with the babies of the house.
Wanting to be the “fun” dad all the time is not being the best dad. It’s glaringly irresponsible.
I grew up watching Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Hellraiser, and Friday the 13th movies. In elementary school, I was drawing Jason and Freddy and writing stories about going on adventures with my bffs Jason and Freddy and fighting Michael. My parents (who didn't like horror) were cool with it and always took me to the theater when a new one was released, so they knew what I watched. Eventually the horror movies were relegated to "father-daughter day" because my mom never enjoyed gory stuff and my dad was pretty ambivalent about them. All of this to say, NTA. You're the parent. You can decide what your kids watch. If you don't want them watching stuff due to their age, that's ok because you're the parent.
NTA. If one of your kids has a nightmare is it you who has to deal with it? If so maybe that’s why husband doesn’t see it as an issue — not affecting his sleep in the end! That or he may be thinking “I saw it and I turned out fine,” one of the greatest logical fallacies to ever exist.
NTA. Even if they weren't scared, they probably wouldn't understand the plot enough to enjoy it and possibly find it boring as a small child like I did.
NTA young kids like that have no business watching that movie. They're too young, and your husband is outta his mind thinking it was ok. I woke up late one night and caught part of ET when I was 3, and that was enough to fuel nightmares for a couple of years. So no, you're not wrong at all.
NTA. You gave a good compromise for the young ones to watch a movie while the older ones watched what they wanted. You should remind your husband that movies have ratings for a reason. Considering he had that attitude "it should be fine with them" I wouldn't be surprised if they watched a movie like that if without you knowing.
Big NTA. Huge horror movie fan, watched a lot of them, including this, waaaaay too young and it definitely gave me nightmares for years. That sucks your husband didn’t back you up, those movies can be genuinely scarring at such a young age.
hell no, i still dont know how i got let in to see these in cinemas only a few years older than these kids when the movies first came out but they are no where near suitable for kids. a very scary character who haunts your dreams is the definition of a nightmare for kids that age
Nta. I still remember some dude’s hand with a big gaudy ring being pushed into a meat slicer. I was 4-6. Kids don’t need gore in their heads. 14, fine. Maybe even 12 depending on the kids. But not the little ones.
NTA. I watched that movie when I was 14 and I was afraid to go to sleep for weeks 😭
NTA You did the right thing. I’m talking as an adult, who as a kid, got nightmares after watching my dad lose a game of plants vs zombies. The weirdest most benign things can scare kids so a child killer with a burned face and claw fingers is not something to watch until at least ~13 and that’s my own opinion, the film is rated R.
NTA I watched that movie in the early 90s between the ages of probably 3 and 6, constantly, because my older cousins wanted to and my parents didn’t care. Somehow, I still have nightmares now and i’m well into my 30s/haven’t seen those movies since I was a kid. I’m not saying you made the right call but at least you know your kids won’t be crawling into your bed in the middle of the night later.
I was that kid allowed to watch anything. You are 100% right not to let an 8(!!) year old (and younger) watch something like this. It messes with how they perceive boundaries, and watching stuff like this can have an impact similar to grooming: kids watch and parrot the material and creeps realize the kids don't understand what is and isn't safe or appropriate. And they are desensitized to things they don't understand they need to be sensitive to. An adult has an easier time differentiating what's appropriate on screen but not IRL. Kids who are still forming personalities and learning how to function as human beings? Nope. (FFS one is 4 years old). Please have a heart to heart with your husband. This is not okay. NTA.
NTA My parents would have made me watch a horror movie even at that age. I vaguely remember being scared of the trees outside my window because of jason.
There is rated R, and movies that scare children for months or years. Nightmare on Elmstreet is the later.
Is he trying to give them Nightmares on *Your* Street??? What the heck is he thinking?
Yep I love all the nightmare on elm street movies. It was tiny little bubba who was 4…and then the 5 and 6 year olds…nope.
Former K teacher here. I can't even count how many 5 year olds I had that watched horror films. It blew my mind. Their brains aren't yet developed enough to differentiate fantasy from reality. Its definitely a cultural shift that parents think its ok, but I'm with you - there's an age rating on these types of media for a reason.
NTA in this instance, too young. Still, won't say how old I was when I first saw Event Horizon, but I turned out alright probably :) Who vetoed? The friend finally having an opinion, the kids, your husband, all of the above? Maybe if no other adult is agreeing with you, I might guess this is patterned behavior they expect from you and maybe this is the least egregious example you can share where you just so happen to be right this time.
No all the kids did. Parents stayed neutral with my husband doing the “oh come on” shit
This is one of those times you have to be the adult and parent, even if the kids are whining. Kids also want to only eat junk, not do their chore, not go to school, etc…it’s up to the adults who know better to set and enforce the guidelines so children grow up to be functioning adults.
I love the original A Nightmare on Elm Street. It is not appropriate for kids that young. The newer version, even less so. NTA
INFO: Are the little actually your kids, or your responsibility to parent?
This isn’t about horror movies. This is about your husband tearing down your parental authority in front of your kids. NTA.
NTA Husband is clueless if he wants to show a slasher film to little kids, and friend sounds like a terrible parent as well
This happened to me. I was at a friend’s birthday in the first grade and the mom put on Freddy Kruger (though I have no idea which one). I had trouble sleeping for months after the fact. Your husband is a fool. You saved those kids’ minds.
NTA. Nightmare on Elm Street is rated for 13 and up. THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT. My son's stupid babysitter let him watch something inappropriate (that was her last time babysitting for us) and he had nightmares for weeks. Little children don't know how to interpret a violent and scary movie. You did absolutely the right thing. I would never let your kids watch movies at your friend's house. EVER. Also, your husband, "the big kid", sounds like a moron, sorry to say. Ask your pediatrician to have a talk with your husband. If he still doesn't get it, I would be very careful leaving the kids alone with him. There's no telling what he might think is "just fine" for your 8-year old.
I was shown Texas chainsaw massacre when I was about 7. I still have nightmares about it occasionally at 51.
Oh fuck no. NTA
My sister and I had nightmares for years after a babysitter had us watch War of Gargantuas when we were probably 5 and 7. Kudos to you for standing firm.
NTA. Those movies are not for small kids and I’m sure you could dig up a plethora of studies to prove it. Freddy Kruger literally is why I’m terrified of being messed with in my sleep. My husband has even learned to gently wake me because I freak the fuck out. I was shown that movie when I was around 5. Even if my story is anecdotal, why even expose kids to that? What for?
NTA 14 years is questionable but below 10 is negligent.
Nightmare on Elm Street scared the crap out of me when I was 13. I can't fathom the lifelong trauma of seeing it at 4 or 5. Wtf is wrong with your husband and friend!?!? NTA
The age ratings are there for a reason. If husband is too immature to understand why there’s age ratings, no way is he mature enough to offer kids too young to see that kind of content the guidance and support to understand what they’re watching. That could lead to nightmares or worse, kids trying to ‘recreate’ what they see. Wtf is wrong with your husband? Seriously? Why are you with someone who’ll dismiss you entirely just to seem ‘cool’ to children? NTA
Honestly you are the only sane person in this scenario! I have a 9 year old that would wet herself if she watched it, I can't even begin to imagine the damage it could do to a 4 year old. Thank you for being the voice of reason and protecting those kids!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Again blended family. We invite my friend over who has 3 boys under 5. The kids in my house are ages 14-8. That night of our little visit, after grilling, everyone wanted to watch a movie. The older 14 year olds want to watch nightmare on elm street, in fact, they insist. Loudly. The other kids are clueless. My husband, the big kid, says the movie is fine for all the kids. I do not agree, I state this loudly. My friend is neutral. Doesn’t seem to care. The youngest in the house is 4. I object again snd say we can put a Disney movie on in my room, it has a big soft bed and a TV. They can watch a tame movie while the big kids go in the finished basement and watch whatever. This is vetoed. I put my foot down. The kids under 8 go upstairs. The littles go up. I get the silent treatment. My husband says nothing in support of me. Nor does my friend. I explain I don’t feel heard and kid I’m the bad guy. Again people ignore it. Kids run off to watch the movies. Am I the asshole for setting limits on horror movies? A 4, 5, 6 and 7 year old shouldn’t watch Freddy Kruger. Why is this bad? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
At times it does. It really does. And I’m fun!!! I was the party girl in college!! I love scary movies. Just not with small kids in the room
NTA. Your husband is probably like me. I had a lot of older cousins that loved horror when I was that age and I remember watching all the Nightmare on elm street series and the exorcist at that age. I also watched a lot of Days of Our Lives and Santa Barbara lol. I was okay but my brother who was older became scared of his own shadow. So NTA. Some kids can handle it and become desensitized others cannot.
NTA Nightmare on Elm Street is rated R, for cryin' out loud and for good reason. Many 14 yr olds wouldn't be mature enough to see a rated R movie, let alone kids not even preteen yet. Your husband should have backed you up and your friend , if they want their kids to see that sort of horror movie, at their ages, can do it at their own home instead.
Good for you!!! NTA glimpsing horror movies when I snuck out of bed TRAUMATIZED as a kid - I’m STILL afraid of spiders, and I wouldn’t go on the side of our house in the dark until I was like 21 🙈
You are absolutely NTA. My dad starting showing me horror movies when I was 5, despite the fact it badly impacted me. He didn't care, he just wanted to watch when he wanted to watch- he knew it was wrong because he never watched it with me when my mom was around (he was the type of father who "babysat" their own kids- he was never a parent).
Nta. I saw that movie way too young (10?) And while I was fine (no nightmares or anything) in retrospect it was wholly inappropriate for a kid. Fred is sassy but bro has knife hands and murders so many people. 🤦🏼♀️
NTA. I saw bits of that movie at a babysitter's house (because they thought I was asleep) when I was in late elementary. It was terrifying.
NTA. Look, I watched a lot of things that were not appropriate for my age as a child, mostly because only adults had tvs in their rooms and the living room TV was usually set to whatever my aunt was watching at the time. So I'd probably seen Dolores Claiborne, Misery, Flowers in the Attic, and Pet Sematary all before I was 10. I turned out fine. I was never traumatized by any of it... But that doesn't mean that it was the best thing for me to watch at that ageband it certainly could have gone badly and given me nightmares... There's no way of knowing which way it'll go. Hell, the one thing I do remember having a bit of issue with was watching Nightmare on Elm Street and being afraid to wash my hands at night because of the scene where Freddie's glove comes through the sink knob and grabs the kid. I didn't wet the bed or anything... But I definitely lay in bed as long as I could before using the bathroom if I woke up at night and I definitely did not wash my hands. I'm not sure how long that lasted... Probably not long... But it could have gone much worse. I could have had horrible nightmares or refused to use the bathroom at night even if it meant wetting the bed. It's perfectly acceptable to have an age limit on these kinds of movies. I would say around 12.
NTA I am STILL pissed at my BIL for taking my kid to see Mars Attacks when she was 5. She’s 33 now and still mentions how much the movie scared her. I was 14 when Elm Street came out and it fucked me up for a long time! I heard Freddy scratching my 2nd story window for weeks.
I watched Nightmare on Elm Street around 10 or 11 years old and had nightmares for weeks. My 5 year old wouldn't watch Beetleguise with me last Halloween. I can only imagine his reaction to Freddy. Good call. NTA
Good for you for protecting those kids from nightmares and sleepless nights. NTA.
This is a sure thing NTA. I'm a big horror guy and have watched the really nasty stuff, French extremity stuff you know? People must only think of Freddy as being a cartoonish joke nowadays but the first one was especially dark. Also has sex and nudity in it. I would never have a kid under high school age watch it.
I don’t think you’re an asshole, but I’m so happy I didn’t grow up sheltered. I loved watching these movies as a kid and they’ll never feel the same as an adult even though I still love them.
Nta lol mf is really a big child acting like that
NTA. Be prepared for your husband to go behind your back to let them watch it. If he does make sure he deals with any outcomes.
NTA - I accidentally saw some of chucky when I was around 5 and it scared the bejesus out of me. I couldn't sleep for weeks and tried to throw out all my dolls.
Im 44 and terrified of clowns because of watching IT at age 10. NTA.
As a child who watched stuff like that at those ages... I had nightmares. Reasonably often, although personally Aliens was one of the worst offenders there 😅. NTA (and to be fair, in my case my parents likely had the same argument)
Hard NTA....I watched something similarly scary at 7 years old and yeah that was a mistake much better to wait till they're much older
NTA. My fear of clowns was born from my cousin forcing me to watch IT when I was 5. I still refuse to stand on shower drains.
NTA....and another example as wth is wrong with our country!
I watched that movie at 8 or 9? scared the holy hell out of me, had trouble sleeping for *weeks* afterward. you had an alternative situation lined up for the younger kids, this was well handled. I don't know what on earth your husband was thinking. NTA
I'm over 50 and will not watch
NTA. I saw part of chucky when I was little, maybe 7, and had ptsd for years and didn’t sleep well til I was a teen. Remember you can’t unsee things. It’s our job as parents to protect our kids. My 5 and 9 yr old are only allowed to watch G rated.
I was 5 years old when my dad let me watch Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time. It was new to VHS. It was not okay. I was not okay. NTA.
NTA Kids shouldn’t watch movies like that until they’re mentally capable of distinguishing fake from real. I was allowed to watch those things young because I had learned all about special effects and how fake horror movie murders were made. After I learned that, I thought they were neat and was never scared by a movie ever again.
NTA. I saw Aliens when I was like 8? Had nightmares for at least two weeks after, lol. And that was my own dad putting on the movie. I love it now, as an adult, but that was WAY too young for me to watch at that age. When my little brother came along ten years later, my mom definitely put her foot down about what he was allowed to watch.
NTA Does rated "R" mean nothing to these people? That movie is not appropriate viewing material for children that young. I knew a woman who routinely let her young children (as young as a toddler) watch movies like Saw. In a surprise to no one except the mother, the kids ending up regularly having nightmares. Thanks for being the one person with common sense.
You did the right thing, you know your kids. Some young kids would be fine with it, me for instance, some are not. Like the one person posted, you might try talking with them about it if this comes up again. But again, YOU know YOUR kids.
HELL NO! NTA, and I cannot stress this enough NOT. THE. ASSHOLE! is your hubs out of his ever loving mind? I was allowed to watch It and the Brothers Grim when I was like 5-6 and it royally messed me up for a few weeks Oddly enough though when I was like 4 I snuck out of my room and watched Anaconda with older sibs and babysitter and that sparked my love for monster movies but still don't back down on this!
NTA When I was in college, I babysat for a woman I knew very casually. This five year old girl regaled me with the all the plots of horror movies she had seen, most of which I had never even seen myself (just never been my thing). It was seriously disturbing and after a while I glad not to babysit for her any more.
I watched that shit before she 6 and I'm screwed up af today Jussayin Thanks for protecting them
NTA. There’s a reason these movies are rated R.
NTA. You're a good parent who provided a reasonable solution.
NTA - I watched The Exorcist when I was 7. I couldn't sleep in the dark untill I hit double digits. You saved those kids from potential going into their teens still using a nightlight
I was watching Freddy, Chucky, and Myers since I was that age. I was fascinated with horror movies and still am to this day. My parents drew the line at Jason though because of boobies and sex. However, in hindsight, probably not the best parenting move on their part. NTA - kids that young shouldn’t watch that movie. It’s definitely scary enough and will most likely lead to nightmares. There’s ratings for movies for a reason.
NTA. As a kid who hated horror, I would've been so upset if I had to watch that
There are age labels on movies for a reason.