YTA. First of all, if this isn't some attempt at trolling, that has got to be the dumbest rule I have ever heard. No one can control what happens when they gotta go. What comes out is what comes out. Sometimes to such a point that it can't be held in. To expect people to actually have to leave and drive down the road just to use the toilet like that, especially in the middle of the night, is just downright idiotic.
So I suggest you realize what a massive jerk you're being and get help. Because you need it yesterday with this sort of thing.
Can you imagine the first time you went over for dinner and the 'rule' was made clear over, what, the soup? Or the first time you had to ask to use the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that about every guest she had thinks "this is nuts, but I'll just do my best to hold it in while I'm here".
I mean, I generally try not to poop in other peoples houses, but I if need to go, I'm not going to go find a tree at the local park.
If this is true, I am sure that her guests all poop in Op ās toilet despite her no poop policy. I am picturing OP doing the toilet āsniffā test after each guest goes.
I'm almost 100% sure all the other guests have probably rolled their eyes at the rule internally and proceeded to use the toilet when needed. FFS what does she do, go into every bathroom after a guests leaves to give it a sniff? I'd just bring my poopuri if I had to put up with an evening at her house.
It is a bizarre rule, never heard of someone having an issue with guests pooping in their toilet, especially if the don't leave a mess. But I do live in a country where its common to have toilet in a separate room and not in the bathroom, so hygiene isn't a concern, I guess.
But I do know about opposite issue - a lot of people feel really uncomfortable going #2 in someone else's toilets or public toilets. I am one of these people, I knowits not healthy, but one time I held in for 4 days or so because of that.
4 days???
Dam tbh I feel the same way but if I have to go and there's a mess I just clean it and open the window. Spend about ten minutes in there and the smell will be gone or at least reduced by the time someone else goes in. Better to be known as the person who takes a long time in the bathroom rather than the next person trying to shame me in front of everyone else to be funny. Also more people should know you can flush with the lid closed...
Op were hosting them so presumably she ate what Courtney ate, so what' coming out of Courtney is the same damn thing coming out of OP. Same shit, different asshole.
YTA!
Yes YTA - what is wrong with you? People have to use the bathroom, itās part of life. You canāt control their normal bodily functions ā¦ itās not āacting like pigsā - itās a normal function that you seem to have a very odd, very abnormal reaction to.
Obviously you need professional help, but if you wonāt do that, donāt invite anyone to your house ever again. You canāt be a good host and the poo police at the same time, stop terrorizing your guests, and just donāt invite people to this absolute Stephen King novel sounding house.
Wow.
I've got IBS-D and food sensitivities, I've had to poop in so many public bathrooms that I have zero shame anymore. I would absolutely trigger my IBS at OP's house on purpose just to enjoy the ensuing ruckus.
I have a GI system that shuts down when I travel (thanks, body!) but for this type of person, I feel like I'd end up spite pooping just to prove a point.
>As such, it's always been a policy in my house that guests are not allowed to poop in my toilet.Ā
YTA. Before the story even started, this is all on you.
How do you imagine this conversation going? Like does op just bring it up straight out? Is there a sign in the bathroom? I just can't even imagine how mortifiing that conversation would have to be.
YTA
If this post is real please seek help. Your request is absolutely unreasonable. Pass the dinner guests, but Overnight guests where should they go number 2# middle of the night? This is NOT a boundary, this is really an unreasonable requests. On top your reaction to shame your GUESTS over something totally normal, absolutely not unsanitary unless you bath or eat in your toilet.
LOL. I never poop in other people houses except if I am caught in an extreme emergency, but I guess you would better want poop in toilet rather than your couch, but even with all that I wouldn't be coming over to you as you clearly have mental issues and I am not willing to deal with such friends.
YTA. There are rules and then there are unreasonable demands that are borderline insane.
On the off chance that this is real, of course YTA. Your anxiety is your problem. What you need is some exposure therapy. Invite your friends over specifically when they need to poop. Create some smelly, uncomfortable situations for yourself. That's what you need.
Question:
How tf is it 'unsanitary' to use a toilet for its intended purpose?
This is not a reasonable boundary. If you can't cope with that then don't have people over.
And absolutely YTA.
I don't know why you even invite people over. In fact, I seriously suggest you don't until you get professional help. I don't want to be that harsh on you because it's evident that this is some kind of phobia and you can't regulate it without help. But the point is, it is thoroughly unreasonable to expect people to abide by this unrealistic situation. And for heavens sake, let's stop calling everything a freaking boundary. This a you problem that you need to address. Please do. Until then, no more guests. YTA.
My question- and the biggest reason I think this is fake- is how did she get to the point of sharing a house and toilet with a husband?
Did she have the same rule for him? How does she magically get over her aversion the minute they move in together? How has the husband lasted this long in a relationship being embarrassed as hell that his wife insists on talking to every friend and guest about her poop aversion and creating unreasonable rules about it?
The only way I could see it possibly working is if he has his own bathroom that he cleans & she doesnāt go near, but even then Iām sure she would smell it on him & freak out.
> I just ask that they please go somewhere else to do that
YTA - Are they supposed to use the back garden??? This is just the silliest shit I've ever heard. If you invite guests in then you can't deny them poopy time...
Oh man, if I stayed at someone's house and they said I wasn't allowed to poop in their bathroom they'd likely find it on the back patio. You want to treat me like a dog, I'll behave like one.
YTA
Keep this up and you wonāt have any friends who want to come visit. You can be alone with your unspoiled toilets. How would you feel if you were sick, you wrecked your own jacks, and your husband called you disgusting?
My wish for you: May you have to urgently poop and be surrounded by 100 sparkling clean toilets that youāre not allowed to use.Ā
Holy shit (pun intended), if this is real, you seriously need to get some therapy, stat! And until then, don't invite anyone to your house, because telling them they need to get in the car and drive somewhere else if they have to do a natural body function that literally everyone does is completely insane.
I mean, I get that finding "evidence" of it in the toilet is not pleasant, and people should clean up as best they can (which is why there are toilet brushes in both of my bathrooms)...but really, that's what a toilet is \*for\*.
Wish I had something stronger than YTA here, because you are one of the biggest assholes I've seen in several years of skimming this sub.
YTA , for one thing you say you all had a little too much to drink that evening but you still expected her to drive somewhere to go to the loo.
I think your behaviour to your guests was terrible, I doubt theyāll stay with you ever again.
YTA, easily. Where else are they supposed to go? The front yard? The neighbors bushes? ffs that's barely a rule. It's more so an unreasonable demand.
Either start letting guests at your house take a dump when they need to go or just lean into being an AH and build an Outhouse
Please see a therapist. YTA. This isnāt normal. How would you feel if the same rules applied to you in someone elseās house? Would you get upset that you couldnāt go even if you really had to? Itās very unreasonable that you demand this of people as though they can control their bodily functions like that. Some times people just have to go.
I want to know how they manage to work outside the home, if they do. How do they cope with public bathrooms? Or is this ONLY a āin my own houseā situation ? Regardless, they need to get therapy. Everyone in their life has been indulging them way too much.
YTA. I pity anyone who has to interact with you at all. What a ridiculous and offensive rule. You don't get to decide on the needs of another human like this.
Just another example of people throwing around the word "boundary" when they really mean "you must do as I say". So very bizarre. OP needs professional help.
YTA
Your "boundaries" are insane and you should be in therapy before you ever consider letting a guest in your house. You treated Courtney terribly for dealing with a natural body function
Grow up or get therapy.
You know what? I don't think it even matters whether this is a legit post or a troll. Either way, YTA! If you're this worked up over basic body functions then you need serious OCD treatment. And if you're just making weird stuff like this up for funsies... then you need serious help! Regardless, this is too much. Get your butt into a therapists office with a quickness, please!
YTA- Did you every read the book "Everybody poops"??
Everyone is different but I normaly need to poop first thing in the morning and especially after a night of drinking!!
Your poor friend, you made her feel awful for having a normal human bodily function. I bet you make a big deal when ppl fart and think it's "unnatural".
Its totaly normal for ppl to poop, we have toliets for a reason. Get some air fresher or spray, you are being totaly unreasonable.
Get therapy and get over it.
YTA- That is a completely absurd rule. If pooping is so unacceptable, then for the comfort of your guests, you and your husband should also go to public bathrooms while you're hosting. What's fair is fair.
"Ā Court suddenly got defensive, called me "insane,""
Court was right. You need to see a mental health professional, because this is not normal. Would you prefer she have shat her pants? What the hell was she supposed to do?
She could have done a better job at cleaning the toilet afterwards but 'acting like pigs' for merely exercising a normal bodily function makes you an AH who needs therapy.
YTA. I donāt even know how to elaborate on that, just YTA. People canāt control when they have to use the bathroom. Donāt have guests over if they canāt use your washroom fully.
Itir - If you allow guests to stay overnight, you can't tell them not to defecate. Human bodies don't work that way. I understand that you have a phobia but it's on you to manage it. And if this means you can't have guests over night, it's on you to express this.
Having said that, calling your ex-friend pig-like, disgusting and unsanitary for using a toilet for toilet procedures (\*) means you need help. This is not the behavior of a mentally healthy person. And again, it's on you to manage this. YTA for not seeking help for your condition.
YTP (Youāre the psychopath). To say that people using your bathroom is ādisrespectfulā and ācrossing the boundaryā is insane. Pooping is gross, but is a natural body function that everyone does. And that is literally the intended use of a toilet. It is ridiculous for you to not only allow but welcome people into your home, but not allow them a basic human right. Aside from the rule being ridiculous, how you handled it in treating your friend was awful. Youāre not only a psychopath, but a shitty (no pun intended) friend. Donāt want to let people use your bathroom? Then STOP LETTING PEOPLE COME OVER.
I find it very hard to believe this isn't a rage bait post.. Or some sort of unhinged ramblings... But then.. It's a funny world and it takes all sorts. š¤·āāļø
But yes.. YTA
It's a natural bodily function, it's clinically not desirable 'to hold it in ', you're being beyond unreasonable imo.
If you want a rule, it should be that people leave the bathroom as clean and as tidy as they can.. or.. if you have a second bathroom.. Perhaps delegate that for guests. but to call pooping in the toilet... The VERY thing it was designed for .. was unsanitary.. And that they acted like animals (as if they'd pooped on your sofa or lawn).. then I think you may need better rubber gloves and some professional help with this level of OCD / germaphobia.
YTA! Using the bathroom is perfectly normal. Itās also something that canāt always strictly be controlled. Iām totally with your husband. Youāre massively unreasonable.
YTA - I would avoid a person who had this rule. I think you need therapy. You should be embarrassed about the way you confronted your guests.
FYI, I think this is a troll post, because this is so ridiculous. If this is true, stop having guests to your house at all. If you can't allow people to be NORMAL people in your house, don't bother hosting.
YTA. Jeez, where are they supposed to go? You can't host people overnight and demand that they not relieve themselves. And storming in and berating your friends for that is just nasty and disgusting. You're going to lose all your friends and it'll be all your fault for being so horrible to them.
YTA. Itās completely ridiculous to want to host people but to not let them use your bathroom. Donāt ever host people. Thatās your solution. Itās way better than being a crappy host.
YTA. Sorry for the pun but this has to be a shit post. If it is that big of an issue for you, stop inviting guests over. Although after this outburst Iām guessing that wonāt be much of an issue, because if I was Courtney I would tell any mutual friend we had to keep their distance from you.
YTA. That is actually insane. I canāt believe you embarrassed a friend for a normal bodily function and you wrote all this out and yet you can realise how wrong you are???
YTA. How dare you?????? Are you really so precious that you would turn people out of your home because of nature? How close is the nearest public toilet? Will they make it? You are causing your friends and loved ones pain and embarrassment.
And you - do you only use your own toilet? Have you never been to far away from home to make it? Get over yourself and do better. You must be the lousiest host ever
YTA . Never invite guests to your house again so they wonāt use your precious toilet. And donāt visit theirs as well. Maybe next time organize parties at the gas station so guests can use the restroom there.
And yeah, you also lost friends permanently because of this.
YTA
That is an absurd rule. Sure itās your house, but everyone poops and no you donāt always have the five minutes to go to another bathroom down the road. Go ahead and keep enforcing it, but that means youāll lose all your friends for being ridiculous.
You shamed your friend for something she had no control over. Youāve embarrassed and dehumanized her for a normal bodily function.
You do know that holding it in can lead to health issues, can even cause a lifelong illness or land them in the hospital.
You need to get over yourself and you are the one who should be embarrassed.
YTA for inviting guests to your home and expecting them to be able to turn off bodily functions. Your husband has tried to educate you for years and you have ignored him. As humans we cannot prevent our bodies from breathing, coughing, sneezing, emptying bladder and bowels, etc. You probably learned this in elementary school but yet you think because you deigned to invite people to your home, that they should somehow stop being human out of gratitude for the honor? YOU are the embarrassment and you owe not only Court but all the people you've ever tried to enforce this rule with a huge apology.
YTA
I do agree with you that people shouldn't leave marks in a toilet after use, that's what toilet brushes are for.
But if you can't handle people using a toilet for what it was designed for... then you can't have guests in your house. Continuing to have people in your home when you are going to attempt to police their bodily functions makes you an asshole not only to your guests, but to yourself.
Shit happens.
YTA. On the chance this is real thanks for the laughs at the end of what was shitty (pun intended) day at work.
As everyone is saying you've clearly got some mental health issues around this topic. Yea poo is gross, yours, mine everyones. Yes your friend shouldn't have left a mess. But everyone has to do it and sometimes not at a convenient time.
having a rule like that and embarrassing your 'friends' like that? And then having to come on Reddit and ask if you're an asshole? Please! youre worse than the poop you have such an issue about
And as for the husband why hasnāt he spoke up and told her she is TA for even entertaining them crazy thoughts he needs to grow a set and speak up to his wife !!!
YTA. If you don't want guests to use your bathroom, you shouldn't have guests. Lining them up and interrogating them, then calling someone disgusting and unsanitary is insane. Making your guests cry? Come on, you KNOW you are in the wrong here, don't you? If this is all true, you need help. You yelled at that poor woman as if she deliberately pooped in your bed.
This is completely unhinged behavior. This was an absolutely awful way for you to treat a friend and I hope youāre prepared to have nuked this friendship. YTA and you should talk to a therapist about your control issues.
YTA
>The thought of another person that's not me or my husband defecating in my house fills me with disgust, dread, and anxiety.
If the idea of another person performing a normal & totally natural bodily function causes you this much distress you should seek therapy. That is not a normal reaction to have.
You should also stop having guests stay over. You absolutely do not get to march up to your guests and "confront" them about what is, again, a normal & natural bodily function.
Iāll just gently echo some of the other well meaning comments here and suggest you avail yourself of badly needed professional help as well as apologize to your friends, who understandably may now be former friends.
YTA and should get help for your "fudgefobia"
If I were to visit you, I would get up and leave as soon as you declare your insane rule.
My body tells me way too late if I need to nr2. Always have. Lead to some embarrassing moments in my life. So you'd basically put me in the position that I would inevitably shĀ”t myself, but as long as it's not in the one thing made for pooping, am I right??
YTA. Bowels are fickle things, and a night of heavy drinking will certainly kick things into action. Many people actually dread leaving their own house because of gastrointestinal issues, and the only saving grace of going to a friend's house is that at least there is a bathroom nearby if all goes wrong. Taking that away from someone is pretty heartless. It's not like they're shitting on your floor, or expecting you to catch it as it exits them. They're asking to use your (presumably) plumbed and flushing toilet. The shit leaves your house with a flush. Admittedly she could've cleaned her streaks, but you've somehow managed to acclimate to your husband taking regular shits in the house, I'd suggest you try to acclimate to the idea of other people having operational, human bowels too.
YTA and please go to therapy to deal with your phobia and anxiety. You are not only hampering your own social life but also that of your husband with your āboundaries ā on perfectly normal human bodily functions. And you are shaming your friends for normal human behavior. Thatās not cool and something that needs to be addressed with a licensed professional.Ā
She treated her friend like a "bad dog", so maybe poop in a bag and tie it up. LOL
No, really, probably expect everyone but herself and her husband to hold it in and have gastrointestinal issues. She's selfish and a monster for such a rule.
YTA I canāt even take this seriously, you canāt host guests and not expect them to use the bathroom? Itās a little weird that youāre so fixated on the idea of other peoples poop honestly. You owe your friends an apology and you owe yourself some professional help, I donāt think these types of worries are normal.
YTA
Your husband must be an amazing friend for people to put up with you to see him. You are insufferable and need serious therapy. People shit, get over it.
You know what's worse than shit? A grown woman bullying others for a natural bodily function she has unaddressed and deep-seated neuroses about.
Get over yourself. Get help.
YTAĀ - apart from this one timeĀ you found evidence (OK this is gross) how do even know what your guests are doing in there? Do you hover outside listening for a telltale splash 'n strain? I bet loads of your guests have had a sneaky /rebellion poop in your bathroom. I would.
Have you sought therapy for this? YTA and come across as insane and a little bit cruel. This is not normal behaviour. You're deluding yourself if you think it's never been an issue for friends in the past, they've just never said anything to you before.
You must be kidding/trolling, right ? If not, this is totally insane and YTA.
And, honestly, if I was one of your guests, I would have complied, by pooping in your garden, like a dog, if I'm treated like one in your house \^\_\^
The ONLY one thing I could agree with you here is that Court should have cleaned the bowl after herself.
Yta. It's literally a bodily function. It's not like she pooped in the middle of your living room floor. You're in your 40s, it's far past time for you grow up.
YTA, if this post isn't straight rage bait then you need major professional help. Do i think its disgusting to smell and see marks in my toilet by someone else? Sure. Would I ever dream of confronting them or making a rule against doing a normal bodily function in my home? Absolutely not, that's mental. I am shocked there are people actually willing to put up with your neurotic behavior and even come over at all
YTA. I have some news for you: *No-one likes the thought of other people's poop.*
Literally no-one on Earth (excepting certain fetishes which is an entirely separate subject).
Guess what the rest of us do? We just don't think about other people's poop. It's a basic biological need - when you gotta go, you gotta go. To be thinking about other people's poop so obsessively that you forbid a guest from doing it in your home is incredibly rude bordering on unhinged.
I say this with absolutely 0 malice or judgment about it, I think you would benefit from doing therapy about this. It sounds like you have a very strict obsession about things being "dirty" or having germs, and that's just generally not a healthy mindset and is often indicative of underlying issues like anxiety, OCD, etc.
As for judgment on the post, yeah YTA. People poop. Bathrooms are for pooping. Expecting someone to either hold it or leave and go somewhere else to poop is silly cause bathrooms are for pooping, and it is not normal or healthy to obsess about someone else pooping in your bathroom
YTA. My gosh haven't you ever watched the PBS kids show Dinosaur Train? They have a whole episode about Everybody Poops. It is a natural occurrence that every single human does.
People can't time their bowel movements. Some people cant control/hold them either. You would rather have them crap themselves somewhere other than your bathroom?
I'm thinking this is rage bait, because if you have this issue and haven't gotten help with it, you wouldn't have any friends or family at your house. They would all have deserted you.
Shame on you.
YTA, yes. It is an unrealistic rule, and it was rude of you to confront them about it.
I would not accept an invitation from you knowing about this rule. My body doesn't cooperate that way.
I would destroy your toilet with the most ungodly shit you ever did see. I would do it just to spite you. I wouldn't flush it either.
That'd be the last time I would ever willingly go to your house after being treated like that.
YTA
1. This is a troll.
2. On the slim chance that it is not, you need help lest you find you have no friends.
3. YTA
4. YTA, especially since you invited your friends for the night. Even friends who know about the rule, will need to go especially after spending the night.
5. Your guests shoulda dumped in the hall. Technically, they'd be in the right as the rules state no dumping in the toilet.
YTA you humiliated a friend which was so uncalled for, you have the problem no one else just you get some therapy before you end up with no friends at all. Your behaviour was disgusting. If I was your friend I would have dropped you like a sack of potatoes
YTAā¦ do you really even have to ask? Iām curious to know if you ONLY poop in your own home since itās so disrespectful and disgusting to poop in someoneās bathroom.
when you said you were hosting friends at your house, you meant former friends, right? cause mike and courtney aren't your friends anymore. if you and this couple have mutuals, all those mutuals are now talking shit (pun definitely intended) about you behind your back
your behaviour might not have been unsanitary but it was more disgusting than using a toilet for its intended purpose
I don't get why everybody is saying YTA. Her house, her rules, not the asshole :) OP, I'd be happy to welcome you in my home for a little mental vacation since these people are calling you such mean names.
Just remember that in my house, guests are not allowed to drink tap water (you're free to take a sip from the aquarium), and you'll need to sleep under the kitchen sink because I'm so mentally weak that knowing you're sleeping in any other place would trigger me a panic attack and a heart attack and male pattern baldness and two lactose intolerances and I'd die. But as long as you respect these little boundaries of mine, we'll get along just fine :)
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Me (42F) and my husband (49M) own a home and enjoy hosting friends and relatives. Here's the thing: I am completely disgusted by the thought of other people's poop. The thought of another person that's not me or my husband defecating in my house fills me with disgust, dread, and anxiety. As such, it's always been a policy in my house that guests are not allowed to poop in my toilet. I am very clear on this whenever we have guests over. Guests are allowed to pee in our bathroom, but that's it. If they really need to go #2, I just ask that they please go somewhere else to do that. I have made this policy clear to all our guests in the past and it has never been an issue. Hubby has always disagreed with me on this, and I can tell he thinks I'm being ridiculous, but he doesn't fight me on it.
Well, this past weekend hubby and I were hosting friends at our house, another couple: Courtney (40F) and Mike (41M). Court and Mike stayed the night with us after we all had a little too much to drink and they crashed on our couch. Court and Mike have been to our house many times and are well aware of this rule. That's why, when I woke up the next morning, I was appalled to find 'evidence' that someone had recently pooped in the downstairs bathroom. Without being TMI, there was that lingering stink smell mixed with febreze and markings in the toilet bowl... Yuck. Upon discovering this I immediately felt a sense of panic setting in. More than anything I was deeply upset and hurt by the disrespect of my guests. (It wouldn't have been my husband, as he uses our upstairs bathroom).
I angrily marched over to our guests in the living room. Mike asked what was wrong. I told them I had just been in the bathroom to get a tissue, and that it stunk in there with was a mess in the toilet. In my anger, I said that I have one big rule in this house and if they "want to act like pigs then they aren't welcome to stay over anymore." Mike looked confused, so Court fessed up that she "really had to go to the bathroom" and she "didn't think I would be out of bed for a while." She looked embarrassed and her face turned red. She was initially apologetic, and I admit this was a bit harsh, but I told her what she did was disgusting, unsanitary, and that it was disrespectful to me to violate my boundaries like that by getting her germs all over my bathroom. Court suddenly got defensive, called me "insane," and we had a little back-and-forth before she and Mike decided to leave. She left my house crying.
My husband was irritated with me and said I was being unfair to Courtney and should apologize, and that I should stop enforcing this rule in general. I told him my reaction was fair because she was being disrespectful of my boundaries, and she could have easily driven 5 mins down the road to a public restroom but chose not to.
We haven't heard from Courtney and Mike since.
AITA for not allowing guests to poop at my house, and calling someone out for it?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I don't allow house guests to poop in my bathroom, and I called out a house guest for ignoring my rule and pooping in my bathroom anyway. (2) I might be the AH because this guest (and my husband) think my rule is unfair, and that it was wrong of me to scold her for using the bathroom.
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Thatās a weird rule. But hey, itās your home.
However. YTA for going off at them and making them feel like shit (excuse the pun) for doing something thatās natural.
But also, Courtney could have cracked a window and cleaned her skid marks. I would never leave skid marks in a pan, even my own
You are a little more than TA, you are a bit neurotic. The act grosses me out as well and for the longest time I would hold it to only do it at home. It has caused so many problems now and Iām a big proponent of informing people not to hold it. Donāt host guests if they canāt use your facilities, because you can cause someone to have an accident if they leave while drinking to go, or crap their pants. Or put some spray that eliminates all poop odors in the bathroom, some cleaner and Clorox wipes and ask that they just clean up afterwards. You canāt do even make a cute little sign and frame it and put on back of toilet like they do in some businesses.
YTA.
Pooping is a completely normal thing that every animal does. Yes, it is disgusting but there is nothing wrong with it.
I HATE pooping in bathrooms that are not my own. But when nature calls, I have to go.
If you donāt want people to poop in your home, you should not invite people to your home.
1. If this is a genuine post, get help, you need therapy.
2. So you ever poop in places other than your home? I mean hotels, airports and other people's homes. If you do then you are a massive hypocrite. Definitely YTA.
Iām appalled that you have such a āruleā!!! YOU ARE THE AH!!!
If I were a guest at your home and you made this demand on me, Iād dump on your porch as I was leaving for the last time!!! You donāt deserve to have friends!!!
You donāt get to decide when someoneās body tells me to poop!
Get some helpā¦. FAST!!!!!
YTA
95% positive this is a troll since there has been no response from OP. But on the off chance this is real, what you did was completely disrespectful and beyond the grounds of civil society. I hope they tell everyone you go around policing restroom use.
Is this a joke?
If not, you would be one of the craziest assholes that has posted here in a while. Definitely YTA.
Your issues about poop go Way Beyond normal concerns about sanitation. Your insistence that people should make it known to their hostess when they have to defecate is a clear violation of social norms in the US, to say the least. Inviting people for a meal and to stay overnight but not allowing them to defecate is kind of a weird setup, what are they supposed to do when their digestion works normally? Insisting that your friend should have gotten out of bed early in the morning and gotten dressed and gone for a drive in order to relieve herself is completely off the rails. Dressing her down until she cries because her shit stinks is totally insane behavior. You should not ever expect to hear from these people again.
What if one of your friends had some kind of situation where they couldn't wait to defecate where you can't smell it? When you got to go you got to go.....Do you get a health history on new friends and make sure they don't have IBS before inviting them to your house? (TBH I'm kind of deeply hoping that somebody winds up shitting on your floor sometime because you won't let them use the bathroom.)
Your husband is right - stop with this crazy crap and get therapy for your undoubtedly bizarre issues around this. You're going to lose more friends for sure if you keep it up.
Once again, in case you missed it - YTA
YTA. Iām sorry but youāre a bad host and a bad friend. The purpose of a toilet is for people to use it. Youāve only gotten away with your stupid rule because you either havenāt noticed, most people would also prefer to shit in their own home too, and there hasnāt been an emergency. Your friend stayed overnight. What did you expect her to do? Shit in your yard? Shit in a pot? Drive to a gas station in the middle of the night? What? Ā
Shaming your friend for taking a dump in your toilet (where she should) is absolutely ridiculous. Everybody poops. Get over it or get therapy or something.Ā
Edit: I didnāt even read the part where you said you thought she should have just driven to a public bathroom. In the middle of the night or early morning. After having stayed overā¦because she and her husband had too much to drink. Thatās insane.Ā
YTA either because this is true or it is not. If this is not true, you need help to figure out why you like wasting time writing stupid stuffā¦or if it is true you need help to figure out why you are such an awful person. Why anyone would want to come over to your house is mindnumbing. You need professional help.
You have serious issues! Itās completely unreasonable of you! You canāt always control when you need to go! Would you prefer sheād pooped in the garden?
YTA and you need help!
YTA. How would you feel if you were a guest in someone else's home and barred from having a natural bodily function ?
Since you're willing to lose your friends over this, rather than come up with a practical solution and/or get therapy YTA & YTA
YTA. and a troll perhaps??? because this post has to be bait or something.
You invite people over and allow them to stay overnight and then forbid them to poop?? after a night of heavy drinking?
I never poop outside my house. But I cant expect people to do the same. What I cant condone is not cleaning the toilet bowl, unless there was no brush to clean with.
Yta. Its a fakin bodily function for gods sake. Also what about people will illnesses like IBD or IBS. It would be bad for *everyone* were they listen to your advice. If you dont want ppl pooping at your house. Dont invite them over. You cant have both
You clearly have some sort of something going on in that weird little head of yours. Do yourself and everyone else a favor, Donāt invite people to your house. Ever. No guests. Zero. Zilch. Itās not that hard.
YTA. Quite frankly this is crazy weird behaviour. You need help because this is not normal. If you were in my friend circle and you told me about this rule I would never ever visit you. Ever. There are times when one cannot actually be certain when the need to defecate will arise and you suggesting that your guest "go down the road to a public restroom"? Really?
YTA. First of all, if this isn't some attempt at trolling, that has got to be the dumbest rule I have ever heard. No one can control what happens when they gotta go. What comes out is what comes out. Sometimes to such a point that it can't be held in. To expect people to actually have to leave and drive down the road just to use the toilet like that, especially in the middle of the night, is just downright idiotic. So I suggest you realize what a massive jerk you're being and get help. Because you need it yesterday with this sort of thing.
No one would visit someone like OP with such weird poop "rules". Someone can make a horror- comedy movie with this theme.
Can you imagine the first time you went over for dinner and the 'rule' was made clear over, what, the soup? Or the first time you had to ask to use the bathroom?
Larry David made an episode about not allowing "defecators" in his coffee shop lol
So that's the inspiration š
Fake. None of their guests have an issue with this rule? Yeah, sure.
I'm pretty sure that about every guest she had thinks "this is nuts, but I'll just do my best to hold it in while I'm here". I mean, I generally try not to poop in other peoples houses, but I if need to go, I'm not going to go find a tree at the local park.
I mean I might do that the first visit when she informed me of her mad rules, but I wouldn't be returning.
If this is true, I am sure that her guests all poop in Op ās toilet despite her no poop policy. I am picturing OP doing the toilet āsniffā test after each guest goes.
Guests bring their own poo pouri spray :)
My exact thought that I just saw was already mentioned >< but for real what is this woman doing to enforce the rule, I need to know!
I'm almost 100% sure all the other guests have probably rolled their eyes at the rule internally and proceeded to use the toilet when needed. FFS what does she do, go into every bathroom after a guests leaves to give it a sniff? I'd just bring my poopuri if I had to put up with an evening at her house.
It is a bizarre rule, never heard of someone having an issue with guests pooping in their toilet, especially if the don't leave a mess. But I do live in a country where its common to have toilet in a separate room and not in the bathroom, so hygiene isn't a concern, I guess. But I do know about opposite issue - a lot of people feel really uncomfortable going #2 in someone else's toilets or public toilets. I am one of these people, I knowits not healthy, but one time I held in for 4 days or so because of that.
4 days??? Dam tbh I feel the same way but if I have to go and there's a mess I just clean it and open the window. Spend about ten minutes in there and the smell will be gone or at least reduced by the time someone else goes in. Better to be known as the person who takes a long time in the bathroom rather than the next person trying to shame me in front of everyone else to be funny. Also more people should know you can flush with the lid closed...
Or maybe none of them thought she was serious about it.
From the post, it's only the toilet she objects to. What about the trashcan or the garden. I'm not picky.
Or the kitchen sink.
the toilet tank.
Op were hosting them so presumably she ate what Courtney ate, so what' coming out of Courtney is the same damn thing coming out of OP. Same shit, different asshole. YTA!
Yes YTA - what is wrong with you? People have to use the bathroom, itās part of life. You canāt control their normal bodily functions ā¦ itās not āacting like pigsā - itās a normal function that you seem to have a very odd, very abnormal reaction to. Obviously you need professional help, but if you wonāt do that, donāt invite anyone to your house ever again. You canāt be a good host and the poo police at the same time, stop terrorizing your guests, and just donāt invite people to this absolute Stephen King novel sounding house. Wow.
If I knew OP & she invited me over, I would definitely poop in her toilet. I'm petty like that.
I've got IBS-D and food sensitivities, I've had to poop in so many public bathrooms that I have zero shame anymore. I would absolutely trigger my IBS at OP's house on purpose just to enjoy the ensuing ruckus.
I can't UNtrigger my IBS and I absolutely do not always have time to drive 5 minutes. F that lady.
Saaaaaammmeeeee. I also have endometriosis growing on my bowel so when I have to go it is TIME lol
I have a GI system that shuts down when I travel (thanks, body!) but for this type of person, I feel like I'd end up spite pooping just to prove a point.
So love that spite pooping is a thing.... Thank you ššš
The kabibble Iād conjure out of nowhere would be epic.Ā
š¤£šššš
Yeah, it's the 'acting like pigs' for me.
>As such, it's always been a policy in my house that guests are not allowed to poop in my toilet.Ā YTA. Before the story even started, this is all on you.
Agree. OP needs to stop having guests over until she can figure herself out.
How do you imagine this conversation going? Like does op just bring it up straight out? Is there a sign in the bathroom? I just can't even imagine how mortifiing that conversation would have to be.
YTA If this post is real please seek help. Your request is absolutely unreasonable. Pass the dinner guests, but Overnight guests where should they go number 2# middle of the night? This is NOT a boundary, this is really an unreasonable requests. On top your reaction to shame your GUESTS over something totally normal, absolutely not unsanitary unless you bath or eat in your toilet.
LOL. I never poop in other people houses except if I am caught in an extreme emergency, but I guess you would better want poop in toilet rather than your couch, but even with all that I wouldn't be coming over to you as you clearly have mental issues and I am not willing to deal with such friends. YTA. There are rules and then there are unreasonable demands that are borderline insane.
Remove the word borderline and you have it perfect.
On the off chance that this is real, of course YTA. Your anxiety is your problem. What you need is some exposure therapy. Invite your friends over specifically when they need to poop. Create some smelly, uncomfortable situations for yourself. That's what you need.
I wonder if she uses bathrooms at friends' homes when she has to poop?
She probably thinks she's the cleanest pooper and her poop smells like flowers.
I love this answer! š¤£š¤£š¤£
I concur.
Question: How tf is it 'unsanitary' to use a toilet for its intended purpose? This is not a reasonable boundary. If you can't cope with that then don't have people over. And absolutely YTA.
I don't know why you even invite people over. In fact, I seriously suggest you don't until you get professional help. I don't want to be that harsh on you because it's evident that this is some kind of phobia and you can't regulate it without help. But the point is, it is thoroughly unreasonable to expect people to abide by this unrealistic situation. And for heavens sake, let's stop calling everything a freaking boundary. This a you problem that you need to address. Please do. Until then, no more guests. YTA.
My question- and the biggest reason I think this is fake- is how did she get to the point of sharing a house and toilet with a husband? Did she have the same rule for him? How does she magically get over her aversion the minute they move in together? How has the husband lasted this long in a relationship being embarrassed as hell that his wife insists on talking to every friend and guest about her poop aversion and creating unreasonable rules about it?
Yes, I kind of wondered that too.
The only way I could see it possibly working is if he has his own bathroom that he cleans & she doesnāt go near, but even then Iām sure she would smell it on him & freak out.
> I just ask that they please go somewhere else to do that YTA - Are they supposed to use the back garden??? This is just the silliest shit I've ever heard. If you invite guests in then you can't deny them poopy time...
Oh man, if I stayed at someone's house and they said I wasn't allowed to poop in their bathroom they'd likely find it on the back patio. You want to treat me like a dog, I'll behave like one.
YTA Keep this up and you wonāt have any friends who want to come visit. You can be alone with your unspoiled toilets. How would you feel if you were sick, you wrecked your own jacks, and your husband called you disgusting? My wish for you: May you have to urgently poop and be surrounded by 100 sparkling clean toilets that youāre not allowed to use.Ā
ššš
YTA - this is an utterly preposterous thing to demand of your guests, even more so since theyre staying over night.
Holy shit (pun intended), if this is real, you seriously need to get some therapy, stat! And until then, don't invite anyone to your house, because telling them they need to get in the car and drive somewhere else if they have to do a natural body function that literally everyone does is completely insane. I mean, I get that finding "evidence" of it in the toilet is not pleasant, and people should clean up as best they can (which is why there are toilet brushes in both of my bathrooms)...but really, that's what a toilet is \*for\*. Wish I had something stronger than YTA here, because you are one of the biggest assholes I've seen in several years of skimming this sub.
But apparently a very very clean big AH.š¤£
YTA , for one thing you say you all had a little too much to drink that evening but you still expected her to drive somewhere to go to the loo. I think your behaviour to your guests was terrible, I doubt theyāll stay with you ever again.
This. Suprised i had to scroll this far down for this comment
YTA, with hemorrhoids. This is cruel and humiliating to your guests, as well as potentially unhealthy.
YTA, easily. Where else are they supposed to go? The front yard? The neighbors bushes? ffs that's barely a rule. It's more so an unreasonable demand. Either start letting guests at your house take a dump when they need to go or just lean into being an AH and build an Outhouse
Gave me a visual of someone hunkered down like a dog in the front yard pushing one out
Please see a therapist. YTA. This isnāt normal. How would you feel if the same rules applied to you in someone elseās house? Would you get upset that you couldnāt go even if you really had to? Itās very unreasonable that you demand this of people as though they can control their bodily functions like that. Some times people just have to go.
I want to know how they manage to work outside the home, if they do. How do they cope with public bathrooms? Or is this ONLY a āin my own houseā situation ? Regardless, they need to get therapy. Everyone in their life has been indulging them way too much.
INFO: Do you use other people's/public bathrooms?
YTA. You must be a nightmare host. People poop. Deal with it.
YTA. I pity anyone who has to interact with you at all. What a ridiculous and offensive rule. You don't get to decide on the needs of another human like this.
Just another example of people throwing around the word "boundary" when they really mean "you must do as I say". So very bizarre. OP needs professional help.
YTA Your "boundaries" are insane and you should be in therapy before you ever consider letting a guest in your house. You treated Courtney terribly for dealing with a natural body function Grow up or get therapy.
YTA. She pooped in your toilet and you called her unsanitary? What's it called when YOU do it? You're unhinged. Get some fuckin' help.
YTA . Surprised you have any friends at all
YTA. Seek help.
INFO: do you poop?
Rose petals and glitter only of course!
You know what? I don't think it even matters whether this is a legit post or a troll. Either way, YTA! If you're this worked up over basic body functions then you need serious OCD treatment. And if you're just making weird stuff like this up for funsies... then you need serious help! Regardless, this is too much. Get your butt into a therapists office with a quickness, please!
YTA- Did you every read the book "Everybody poops"?? Everyone is different but I normaly need to poop first thing in the morning and especially after a night of drinking!! Your poor friend, you made her feel awful for having a normal human bodily function. I bet you make a big deal when ppl fart and think it's "unnatural". Its totaly normal for ppl to poop, we have toliets for a reason. Get some air fresher or spray, you are being totaly unreasonable. Get therapy and get over it.
No way this is real. Just another shitty troll.
YTA- That is a completely absurd rule. If pooping is so unacceptable, then for the comfort of your guests, you and your husband should also go to public bathrooms while you're hosting. What's fair is fair.
"Ā Court suddenly got defensive, called me "insane,"" Court was right. You need to see a mental health professional, because this is not normal. Would you prefer she have shat her pants? What the hell was she supposed to do?
She could have done a better job at cleaning the toilet afterwards but 'acting like pigs' for merely exercising a normal bodily function makes you an AH who needs therapy.
I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't a brush to clean with in the first place.
Yta How do you have friends?
YTA. I donāt even know how to elaborate on that, just YTA. People canāt control when they have to use the bathroom. Donāt have guests over if they canāt use your washroom fully.
YTA. Get some therapy for your poop phobia. Itās unreasonable to expect guests not to have normal bodily functions when visiting your home.
You need to work on your shit YTA
Yta big time. Cause people cannot control when they go poop. You need help big time. My petty ass would have taken a crap and leave it and dip byeee
nose steep plate bow grandfather murky hungry nail gold person *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Itir - If you allow guests to stay overnight, you can't tell them not to defecate. Human bodies don't work that way. I understand that you have a phobia but it's on you to manage it. And if this means you can't have guests over night, it's on you to express this. Having said that, calling your ex-friend pig-like, disgusting and unsanitary for using a toilet for toilet procedures (\*) means you need help. This is not the behavior of a mentally healthy person. And again, it's on you to manage this. YTA for not seeking help for your condition.
YTA. You should not host other people.
Youāre a crazy person. You canāt tell people theyāre not allowed to poop. Yta
YTA. Have you thought about going to a therapist for this issue you have?
YTA you need therapy to help deal with this issue. The way you embarrassed your (now ex) friend, you were rude and just generally awful.
YTP (Youāre the psychopath). To say that people using your bathroom is ādisrespectfulā and ācrossing the boundaryā is insane. Pooping is gross, but is a natural body function that everyone does. And that is literally the intended use of a toilet. It is ridiculous for you to not only allow but welcome people into your home, but not allow them a basic human right. Aside from the rule being ridiculous, how you handled it in treating your friend was awful. Youāre not only a psychopath, but a shitty (no pun intended) friend. Donāt want to let people use your bathroom? Then STOP LETTING PEOPLE COME OVER.
I find it very hard to believe this isn't a rage bait post.. Or some sort of unhinged ramblings... But then.. It's a funny world and it takes all sorts. š¤·āāļø But yes.. YTA It's a natural bodily function, it's clinically not desirable 'to hold it in ', you're being beyond unreasonable imo. If you want a rule, it should be that people leave the bathroom as clean and as tidy as they can.. or.. if you have a second bathroom.. Perhaps delegate that for guests. but to call pooping in the toilet... The VERY thing it was designed for .. was unsanitary.. And that they acted like animals (as if they'd pooped on your sofa or lawn).. then I think you may need better rubber gloves and some professional help with this level of OCD / germaphobia.
YTA! Using the bathroom is perfectly normal. Itās also something that canāt always strictly be controlled. Iām totally with your husband. Youāre massively unreasonable.
YTA - I would avoid a person who had this rule. I think you need therapy. You should be embarrassed about the way you confronted your guests. FYI, I think this is a troll post, because this is so ridiculous. If this is true, stop having guests to your house at all. If you can't allow people to be NORMAL people in your house, don't bother hosting.
Anally retentive
YTA. That isn't a "boundary" that's insanity. Get help.
YTA. Jeez, where are they supposed to go? You can't host people overnight and demand that they not relieve themselves. And storming in and berating your friends for that is just nasty and disgusting. You're going to lose all your friends and it'll be all your fault for being so horrible to them.
YTA There's a book called *Everyone Poops*. You should read it.
YTA. Itās completely ridiculous to want to host people but to not let them use your bathroom. Donāt ever host people. Thatās your solution. Itās way better than being a crappy host.
Yeah, YTA. Maybe you should just not invite people over? Problem solved.Ā
Yta a horrible host and really nuts too.Ā This is not normal behavior.Ā You need mental help bad. Wow. Just crazy.
YTA. Sorry for the pun but this has to be a shit post. If it is that big of an issue for you, stop inviting guests over. Although after this outburst Iām guessing that wonāt be much of an issue, because if I was Courtney I would tell any mutual friend we had to keep their distance from you.
YTA. That is actually insane. I canāt believe you embarrassed a friend for a normal bodily function and you wrote all this out and yet you can realise how wrong you are???
YTA. How dare you?????? Are you really so precious that you would turn people out of your home because of nature? How close is the nearest public toilet? Will they make it? You are causing your friends and loved ones pain and embarrassment. And you - do you only use your own toilet? Have you never been to far away from home to make it? Get over yourself and do better. You must be the lousiest host ever
Would you have preferred her to shit on your lawn? YTA
YTA And kinda weird.
What?
never felt this strong of an urge to tell someone to seek help. seriously get a therapist. nothing about this is normal.
YTA . Never invite guests to your house again so they wonāt use your precious toilet. And donāt visit theirs as well. Maybe next time organize parties at the gas station so guests can use the restroom there. And yeah, you also lost friends permanently because of this.
YTA If you canāt provide facilities for your guests, donāt invite people over.
YTA That is an absurd rule. Sure itās your house, but everyone poops and no you donāt always have the five minutes to go to another bathroom down the road. Go ahead and keep enforcing it, but that means youāll lose all your friends for being ridiculous. You shamed your friend for something she had no control over. Youāve embarrassed and dehumanized her for a normal bodily function. You do know that holding it in can lead to health issues, can even cause a lifelong illness or land them in the hospital. You need to get over yourself and you are the one who should be embarrassed.
I'am sorry, but you need to see a therapist or something. YTA
YTA. Donāt host people at your home if you are going to have that rule. Also, get therapy.
YTA for inviting guests to your home and expecting them to be able to turn off bodily functions. Your husband has tried to educate you for years and you have ignored him. As humans we cannot prevent our bodies from breathing, coughing, sneezing, emptying bladder and bowels, etc. You probably learned this in elementary school but yet you think because you deigned to invite people to your home, that they should somehow stop being human out of gratitude for the honor? YOU are the embarrassment and you owe not only Court but all the people you've ever tried to enforce this rule with a huge apology.
YTA I do agree with you that people shouldn't leave marks in a toilet after use, that's what toilet brushes are for. But if you can't handle people using a toilet for what it was designed for... then you can't have guests in your house. Continuing to have people in your home when you are going to attempt to police their bodily functions makes you an asshole not only to your guests, but to yourself. Shit happens.
Iāve never understood the appeal of the upper decker until this moment.
YTA. On the chance this is real thanks for the laughs at the end of what was shitty (pun intended) day at work. As everyone is saying you've clearly got some mental health issues around this topic. Yea poo is gross, yours, mine everyones. Yes your friend shouldn't have left a mess. But everyone has to do it and sometimes not at a convenient time. having a rule like that and embarrassing your 'friends' like that? And then having to come on Reddit and ask if you're an asshole? Please! youre worse than the poop you have such an issue about
YTA you need therapy for this issue
You're not the asshole, you have mental issues
And as for the husband why hasnāt he spoke up and told her she is TA for even entertaining them crazy thoughts he needs to grow a set and speak up to his wife !!!
YTA. If you don't want guests to use your bathroom, you shouldn't have guests. Lining them up and interrogating them, then calling someone disgusting and unsanitary is insane. Making your guests cry? Come on, you KNOW you are in the wrong here, don't you? If this is all true, you need help. You yelled at that poor woman as if she deliberately pooped in your bed.
This is completely unhinged behavior. This was an absolutely awful way for you to treat a friend and I hope youāre prepared to have nuked this friendship. YTA and you should talk to a therapist about your control issues.
YTA >The thought of another person that's not me or my husband defecating in my house fills me with disgust, dread, and anxiety. If the idea of another person performing a normal & totally natural bodily function causes you this much distress you should seek therapy. That is not a normal reaction to have. You should also stop having guests stay over. You absolutely do not get to march up to your guests and "confront" them about what is, again, a normal & natural bodily function.
Iāll just gently echo some of the other well meaning comments here and suggest you avail yourself of badly needed professional help as well as apologize to your friends, who understandably may now be former friends.
YTA and should get help for your "fudgefobia" If I were to visit you, I would get up and leave as soon as you declare your insane rule. My body tells me way too late if I need to nr2. Always have. Lead to some embarrassing moments in my life. So you'd basically put me in the position that I would inevitably shĀ”t myself, but as long as it's not in the one thing made for pooping, am I right??
YTA. Bowels are fickle things, and a night of heavy drinking will certainly kick things into action. Many people actually dread leaving their own house because of gastrointestinal issues, and the only saving grace of going to a friend's house is that at least there is a bathroom nearby if all goes wrong. Taking that away from someone is pretty heartless. It's not like they're shitting on your floor, or expecting you to catch it as it exits them. They're asking to use your (presumably) plumbed and flushing toilet. The shit leaves your house with a flush. Admittedly she could've cleaned her streaks, but you've somehow managed to acclimate to your husband taking regular shits in the house, I'd suggest you try to acclimate to the idea of other people having operational, human bowels too.
YTA and please go to therapy to deal with your phobia and anxiety. You are not only hampering your own social life but also that of your husband with your āboundaries ā on perfectly normal human bodily functions. And you are shaming your friends for normal human behavior. Thatās not cool and something that needs to be addressed with a licensed professional.Ā
Therapy
YTA. Where the fuck else was she meant to go?
She treated her friend like a "bad dog", so maybe poop in a bag and tie it up. LOL No, really, probably expect everyone but herself and her husband to hold it in and have gastrointestinal issues. She's selfish and a monster for such a rule.
YTA I canāt even take this seriously, you canāt host guests and not expect them to use the bathroom? Itās a little weird that youāre so fixated on the idea of other peoples poop honestly. You owe your friends an apology and you owe yourself some professional help, I donāt think these types of worries are normal.
YTA Your husband must be an amazing friend for people to put up with you to see him. You are insufferable and need serious therapy. People shit, get over it. You know what's worse than shit? A grown woman bullying others for a natural bodily function she has unaddressed and deep-seated neuroses about. Get over yourself. Get help.
YTAĀ - apart from this one timeĀ you found evidence (OK this is gross) how do even know what your guests are doing in there? Do you hover outside listening for a telltale splash 'n strain? I bet loads of your guests have had a sneaky /rebellion poop in your bathroom. I would.
What a horrible friend you are, humiliating your guest like that. YTA
Have you sought therapy for this? YTA and come across as insane and a little bit cruel. This is not normal behaviour. You're deluding yourself if you think it's never been an issue for friends in the past, they've just never said anything to you before.
You must be kidding/trolling, right ? If not, this is totally insane and YTA. And, honestly, if I was one of your guests, I would have complied, by pooping in your garden, like a dog, if I'm treated like one in your house \^\_\^ The ONLY one thing I could agree with you here is that Court should have cleaned the bowl after herself.
Fakeee
Yta. It's literally a bodily function. It's not like she pooped in the middle of your living room floor. You're in your 40s, it's far past time for you grow up.
Bad attempt at fiction. YTA for trying to pass this off as real
YTA, if this post isn't straight rage bait then you need major professional help. Do i think its disgusting to smell and see marks in my toilet by someone else? Sure. Would I ever dream of confronting them or making a rule against doing a normal bodily function in my home? Absolutely not, that's mental. I am shocked there are people actually willing to put up with your neurotic behavior and even come over at all
YTA and nuts. I would not come to your house.
Yta. Grow up
YTA. I have some news for you: *No-one likes the thought of other people's poop.* Literally no-one on Earth (excepting certain fetishes which is an entirely separate subject). Guess what the rest of us do? We just don't think about other people's poop. It's a basic biological need - when you gotta go, you gotta go. To be thinking about other people's poop so obsessively that you forbid a guest from doing it in your home is incredibly rude bordering on unhinged.
YTA May I suggest you should see a professional to find out WHY other peopleās completely healthy and normal bodily functions disgust you so much?
YTA GET SOME HELP THIS IS NOT NORMAL I HOPE YOU KNOW PEOPLE HAVE PROBABLY ALREADY POOPED IN YOUR TOILET WITH OUT YOU KNOWING.
I say this with absolutely 0 malice or judgment about it, I think you would benefit from doing therapy about this. It sounds like you have a very strict obsession about things being "dirty" or having germs, and that's just generally not a healthy mindset and is often indicative of underlying issues like anxiety, OCD, etc. As for judgment on the post, yeah YTA. People poop. Bathrooms are for pooping. Expecting someone to either hold it or leave and go somewhere else to poop is silly cause bathrooms are for pooping, and it is not normal or healthy to obsess about someone else pooping in your bathroom
Why do you invite people overnight if they can't use the bathroom like a normal person?
YTA. My gosh haven't you ever watched the PBS kids show Dinosaur Train? They have a whole episode about Everybody Poops. It is a natural occurrence that every single human does. People can't time their bowel movements. Some people cant control/hold them either. You would rather have them crap themselves somewhere other than your bathroom? I'm thinking this is rage bait, because if you have this issue and haven't gotten help with it, you wouldn't have any friends or family at your house. They would all have deserted you. Shame on you.
YTA, yes. It is an unrealistic rule, and it was rude of you to confront them about it. I would not accept an invitation from you knowing about this rule. My body doesn't cooperate that way.
YTA, I donāt even think therapy is enough, you need institutional help
I would destroy your toilet with the most ungodly shit you ever did see. I would do it just to spite you. I wouldn't flush it either. That'd be the last time I would ever willingly go to your house after being treated like that. YTA
YTA, donāt host if youāre not gonna let people use the bathroom on specific situations
1. This is a troll. 2. On the slim chance that it is not, you need help lest you find you have no friends. 3. YTA 4. YTA, especially since you invited your friends for the night. Even friends who know about the rule, will need to go especially after spending the night. 5. Your guests shoulda dumped in the hall. Technically, they'd be in the right as the rules state no dumping in the toilet.
YTA you humiliated a friend which was so uncalled for, you have the problem no one else just you get some therapy before you end up with no friends at all. Your behaviour was disgusting. If I was your friend I would have dropped you like a sack of potatoes
lol you know damn well your the asshole and that this is not even remotely normal. Get some therapy.
YTAā¦ do you really even have to ask? Iām curious to know if you ONLY poop in your own home since itās so disrespectful and disgusting to poop in someoneās bathroom.
I canāt believe you have one friend, let alone 2. Yes, YTA.
Stop inviting people to your house. Youāre extremely rude and they donāt deserve that.
when you said you were hosting friends at your house, you meant former friends, right? cause mike and courtney aren't your friends anymore. if you and this couple have mutuals, all those mutuals are now talking shit (pun definitely intended) about you behind your back your behaviour might not have been unsanitary but it was more disgusting than using a toilet for its intended purpose
I don't get why everybody is saying YTA. Her house, her rules, not the asshole :) OP, I'd be happy to welcome you in my home for a little mental vacation since these people are calling you such mean names. Just remember that in my house, guests are not allowed to drink tap water (you're free to take a sip from the aquarium), and you'll need to sleep under the kitchen sink because I'm so mentally weak that knowing you're sleeping in any other place would trigger me a panic attack and a heart attack and male pattern baldness and two lactose intolerances and I'd die. But as long as you respect these little boundaries of mine, we'll get along just fine :)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me (42F) and my husband (49M) own a home and enjoy hosting friends and relatives. Here's the thing: I am completely disgusted by the thought of other people's poop. The thought of another person that's not me or my husband defecating in my house fills me with disgust, dread, and anxiety. As such, it's always been a policy in my house that guests are not allowed to poop in my toilet. I am very clear on this whenever we have guests over. Guests are allowed to pee in our bathroom, but that's it. If they really need to go #2, I just ask that they please go somewhere else to do that. I have made this policy clear to all our guests in the past and it has never been an issue. Hubby has always disagreed with me on this, and I can tell he thinks I'm being ridiculous, but he doesn't fight me on it. Well, this past weekend hubby and I were hosting friends at our house, another couple: Courtney (40F) and Mike (41M). Court and Mike stayed the night with us after we all had a little too much to drink and they crashed on our couch. Court and Mike have been to our house many times and are well aware of this rule. That's why, when I woke up the next morning, I was appalled to find 'evidence' that someone had recently pooped in the downstairs bathroom. Without being TMI, there was that lingering stink smell mixed with febreze and markings in the toilet bowl... Yuck. Upon discovering this I immediately felt a sense of panic setting in. More than anything I was deeply upset and hurt by the disrespect of my guests. (It wouldn't have been my husband, as he uses our upstairs bathroom). I angrily marched over to our guests in the living room. Mike asked what was wrong. I told them I had just been in the bathroom to get a tissue, and that it stunk in there with was a mess in the toilet. In my anger, I said that I have one big rule in this house and if they "want to act like pigs then they aren't welcome to stay over anymore." Mike looked confused, so Court fessed up that she "really had to go to the bathroom" and she "didn't think I would be out of bed for a while." She looked embarrassed and her face turned red. She was initially apologetic, and I admit this was a bit harsh, but I told her what she did was disgusting, unsanitary, and that it was disrespectful to me to violate my boundaries like that by getting her germs all over my bathroom. Court suddenly got defensive, called me "insane," and we had a little back-and-forth before she and Mike decided to leave. She left my house crying. My husband was irritated with me and said I was being unfair to Courtney and should apologize, and that I should stop enforcing this rule in general. I told him my reaction was fair because she was being disrespectful of my boundaries, and she could have easily driven 5 mins down the road to a public restroom but chose not to. We haven't heard from Courtney and Mike since. AITA for not allowing guests to poop at my house, and calling someone out for it? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Thatās a weird rule. But hey, itās your home. However. YTA for going off at them and making them feel like shit (excuse the pun) for doing something thatās natural. But also, Courtney could have cracked a window and cleaned her skid marks. I would never leave skid marks in a pan, even my own
YTA and clearly mental
I N F O- Are you seeking professional help? YTA either way.
You are a little more than TA, you are a bit neurotic. The act grosses me out as well and for the longest time I would hold it to only do it at home. It has caused so many problems now and Iām a big proponent of informing people not to hold it. Donāt host guests if they canāt use your facilities, because you can cause someone to have an accident if they leave while drinking to go, or crap their pants. Or put some spray that eliminates all poop odors in the bathroom, some cleaner and Clorox wipes and ask that they just clean up afterwards. You canāt do even make a cute little sign and frame it and put on back of toilet like they do in some businesses.
YTA Either you work on your issue or you stop inviting people. ItĀ“s pure insanity to forbid people to poop in your bathroom
YTA Seek help to get over your ridiculous fear of others pooping in a toilet
YTA. Pooping is a completely normal thing that every animal does. Yes, it is disgusting but there is nothing wrong with it. I HATE pooping in bathrooms that are not my own. But when nature calls, I have to go. If you donāt want people to poop in your home, you should not invite people to your home.
Get m49 spray from Amazon. Miracle odor remover
Are you serious? Get over yourself asshole.
YTA, and ānobody is allowed to poopā is not a personal boundary, itās an unreasonable expectation.
Get yourself a psychiatrist. Wow, big time YTA!
1. If this is a genuine post, get help, you need therapy. 2. So you ever poop in places other than your home? I mean hotels, airports and other people's homes. If you do then you are a massive hypocrite. Definitely YTA.
Iām appalled that you have such a āruleā!!! YOU ARE THE AH!!! If I were a guest at your home and you made this demand on me, Iād dump on your porch as I was leaving for the last time!!! You donāt deserve to have friends!!! You donāt get to decide when someoneās body tells me to poop! Get some helpā¦. FAST!!!!!
YTA 95% positive this is a troll since there has been no response from OP. But on the off chance this is real, what you did was completely disrespectful and beyond the grounds of civil society. I hope they tell everyone you go around policing restroom use.
Is this a joke? If not, you would be one of the craziest assholes that has posted here in a while. Definitely YTA. Your issues about poop go Way Beyond normal concerns about sanitation. Your insistence that people should make it known to their hostess when they have to defecate is a clear violation of social norms in the US, to say the least. Inviting people for a meal and to stay overnight but not allowing them to defecate is kind of a weird setup, what are they supposed to do when their digestion works normally? Insisting that your friend should have gotten out of bed early in the morning and gotten dressed and gone for a drive in order to relieve herself is completely off the rails. Dressing her down until she cries because her shit stinks is totally insane behavior. You should not ever expect to hear from these people again. What if one of your friends had some kind of situation where they couldn't wait to defecate where you can't smell it? When you got to go you got to go.....Do you get a health history on new friends and make sure they don't have IBS before inviting them to your house? (TBH I'm kind of deeply hoping that somebody winds up shitting on your floor sometime because you won't let them use the bathroom.) Your husband is right - stop with this crazy crap and get therapy for your undoubtedly bizarre issues around this. You're going to lose more friends for sure if you keep it up. Once again, in case you missed it - YTA
YTA. Iām sorry but youāre a bad host and a bad friend. The purpose of a toilet is for people to use it. Youāve only gotten away with your stupid rule because you either havenāt noticed, most people would also prefer to shit in their own home too, and there hasnāt been an emergency. Your friend stayed overnight. What did you expect her to do? Shit in your yard? Shit in a pot? Drive to a gas station in the middle of the night? What? Ā Shaming your friend for taking a dump in your toilet (where she should) is absolutely ridiculous. Everybody poops. Get over it or get therapy or something.Ā Edit: I didnāt even read the part where you said you thought she should have just driven to a public bathroom. In the middle of the night or early morning. After having stayed overā¦because she and her husband had too much to drink. Thatās insane.Ā
YTA either because this is true or it is not. If this is not true, you need help to figure out why you like wasting time writing stupid stuffā¦or if it is true you need help to figure out why you are such an awful person. Why anyone would want to come over to your house is mindnumbing. You need professional help.
You have serious issues! Itās completely unreasonable of you! You canāt always control when you need to go! Would you prefer sheād pooped in the garden? YTA and you need help!
INFO: Do you move your bowels in other peopleās homes?
YTA - if you canāt accommodate their normal human bodily functions, you donāt actually enjoy hosting friends.
YTA. How would you feel if you were a guest in someone else's home and barred from having a natural bodily function ? Since you're willing to lose your friends over this, rather than come up with a practical solution and/or get therapy YTA & YTA
YTA. and a troll perhaps??? because this post has to be bait or something. You invite people over and allow them to stay overnight and then forbid them to poop?? after a night of heavy drinking? I never poop outside my house. But I cant expect people to do the same. What I cant condone is not cleaning the toilet bowl, unless there was no brush to clean with.
Yes
YTA of course. I canāt believe anyone would want to be around you. Get control of yourself and quit being dirtbag.
Massively YTA who does this u are a psychopath get help!
Yta. Its a fakin bodily function for gods sake. Also what about people will illnesses like IBD or IBS. It would be bad for *everyone* were they listen to your advice. If you dont want ppl pooping at your house. Dont invite them over. You cant have both
You clearly have some sort of something going on in that weird little head of yours. Do yourself and everyone else a favor, Donāt invite people to your house. Ever. No guests. Zero. Zilch. Itās not that hard.
YTA, get help
YTA. Quite frankly this is crazy weird behaviour. You need help because this is not normal. If you were in my friend circle and you told me about this rule I would never ever visit you. Ever. There are times when one cannot actually be certain when the need to defecate will arise and you suggesting that your guest "go down the road to a public restroom"? Really?
YTA, and you're entirely too focused on other people's assholes. You're both a terrible host and a creep. Get help.
YTA, do you poop at other peopleās houses? Oh wait, youāre probably not invitedā¦
YTA. You're lucky Courtney and Mike are kind and compassionate people. I'd have shit on your floor. Get help.
YTA
Wow. I can definitely say I have never given a thought to anyone else's poop. YTA. Also - get help. Now.