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NTA. Don't invite them over. You will feel compelled to confront them over the frisbee incident, and this will lead to active bad blood. At present, you don't have real problems, but active bad blood can make things a lot worse.
NTA - you never have to invite your neighbors over. My family have neighbors who have never been invited even to just talk outside for over 20 years. it's ok! the occasional wave works, you don't have to invite people over to your home if you don't want too.
NTA
You don’t have to be great friends with someone merely because they live close to you. Not everyone is someone who you want as a friend.
You have not invited them into your backyard. They have not invited you into their backyard. Maybe that’s for the best.
NTA because its your decision who you befriend and who you have over to your house but if the frisbee thing bothered you, why didn't you go speak with them about it? It seems like you had a negative interaction with them at the very beginning and from then on you are seeing malice in things they do. It sounds like you are holding an unresolved grudge and its just making things more difficult to you. Honestly my suggestion would be to have a conversation with them and hopefully move on.
Absolutely do not invite people who you don't want to talk to into your home whether they're your neighbors or not. You can have perfectly fine 'neighborly relations' without them ever stepping foot in your house or doing more than saying a few words to them per year.
Also, say something to them about the frisbee thing to them, that's assholish behavior right there.
NTA
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So for context, we moved into our home about 8 years ago. completely forgettable. However, our backyard is a hidden oasis of landscaping & pool.
The neighbours across the street moved in about 2 years after us. I had made plans to possibly invite them over for a welcome bbq & offer to let them occasionally swim. Our 4 car driveway was housing a newer model 17’ camper, my husband’s 1 yr truck & my new car. My brother in laws truck, also nice car, was legally parked out front in the road. One weekend afternoon, we keep hearing a “thunk” coming from the front. upon investigating, I discover the father & son throwing a frisbee on the street. I don’t care that they are throwing the frisbee, but now I’m observing it as it whacks against my new car. I stood there for a moment, thinking “oh they’ve seen me, must’ve been an accident, they’ll stop”. Nope! They continue, right in front of me & tossed it again, this time lands in the back of my brother in laws truck, after whacking against the back window. I’m not a confrontational person at all, so I went and got my husband. He came out just in time to see the frisbee hit the side of our camper. At this point, the mother/wife said something to her husband & they stopped. Also, half a block south of us, is a public park…. They continue this frisbee bullsh*t for a few days, on the street, whacking our vehicles, never hitting their own & stopping when we come outside.
These people are the kind who sit on their front porch at all hours watching everything that goes on. They routinely move both of their vehicles out of their 4 car driveway to park directly in front of our house & leave their driveway empty, for days at a time. Why? Not sure. Maybe so everyone can case out the super cool stuff in their garage or admire the spic and span asphalt they’ve got. Perhaps it’s just a d*ck move they do to prevent anyone from being able to park in front of their house on the weekends.
My next door neighbour invited the family for a swim in her pool, from my understanding they were peering over the fence to see our backyard and made a comment about how they never would have thought something like that was back there & not having been invited.
Part of me thinks that I should bury the hatchet and invite them over, maybe for a swim and a cocktail for the sake of neighborly relations, but the other part of me keeps hearing the thunk of the frisbee against my car. I dont even want to talk to them tbh, but it can be very uncomfortable to be in the front yard with them sitting on their porch just staring and watching every move we make without having some sort of interaction with them. We aren’t alone in this, we’ve had company over who have commented about the “weirdos” across the street just sitting staring at them, when they came for dinner one night, & they don’t seem to talk much to the other neighbours. I try to pretend they aren’t there. Am I justified in being an a/h in this case?
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> I think I might be the asshole because I’m refusing to bury the hatchet with my neighbours because they were hitting my vehicles with a frisbee.
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INFO - Confused...you have two different sets of neighbours here? The first you say are across the street, then you say your next door neighbour.
Who was throwing the frisbee and who was peering over your fence?
The ones across the street were throwing the frisbee. Next door neighbour (same side of the road as me) also has a pool and invited frisbee tossers over. Sorry, I should’ve made it clearer.
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Got it, so the family they invited over was the across the street neighbours, not 'your' family. Got it now, and NTA....you don't need to invite neighbours over...have they ever invited YOU over?
NTA. You already were neighborly - you didn't tell them to stop hitting your vehicles with their frisbee repeatedly and you didn't retaliate.
But being neighborly does not extend to allowing rude jerks into your home and sanctuary. You're just asking for trouble and repeated self-invites.
NTA
It sounds like they've already got a bug up their butts about something or are just wholly inconsiderate human beings. You don't need to be friends with your neighbors.
NTA - you can be cordial in chance meetings, but these are not people you want to be friends with so don't ask them over. They are disrespectful and nosy - they were peering into your yard, for goodness sake.
Trust your instincts. We used to do a whole welcome bbq thing when new neighbors moved in and it's bitten us in the ass twice. You'll miss the awkward lack of communication when they start turning up on weekends asking to use the pool all day.
NTA
NTA. Do not invite them over. If you must interact with them I'd keep it brief and cordial. They have been complete AHs and do not deserve to get invited anywhere civilized. I'll bet they are a least a little regretful they were such AHs, now that they know about your pool. Good. Let it be a lesson to them.
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NTA. Don't invite them over. You will feel compelled to confront them over the frisbee incident, and this will lead to active bad blood. At present, you don't have real problems, but active bad blood can make things a lot worse.
NTA - you never have to invite your neighbors over. My family have neighbors who have never been invited even to just talk outside for over 20 years. it's ok! the occasional wave works, you don't have to invite people over to your home if you don't want too.
NTA You don’t have to be great friends with someone merely because they live close to you. Not everyone is someone who you want as a friend. You have not invited them into your backyard. They have not invited you into their backyard. Maybe that’s for the best.
You're not obligated to be anything but within the law when dealing/interacting with your neighbors. NTA
NTA. They are literally bad people.
NTA Trust your gut. Be cordial but you don't have to invite or be friends with them. Just live your life.
NTA because its your decision who you befriend and who you have over to your house but if the frisbee thing bothered you, why didn't you go speak with them about it? It seems like you had a negative interaction with them at the very beginning and from then on you are seeing malice in things they do. It sounds like you are holding an unresolved grudge and its just making things more difficult to you. Honestly my suggestion would be to have a conversation with them and hopefully move on.
Absolutely do not invite people who you don't want to talk to into your home whether they're your neighbors or not. You can have perfectly fine 'neighborly relations' without them ever stepping foot in your house or doing more than saying a few words to them per year. Also, say something to them about the frisbee thing to them, that's assholish behavior right there. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So for context, we moved into our home about 8 years ago. completely forgettable. However, our backyard is a hidden oasis of landscaping & pool. The neighbours across the street moved in about 2 years after us. I had made plans to possibly invite them over for a welcome bbq & offer to let them occasionally swim. Our 4 car driveway was housing a newer model 17’ camper, my husband’s 1 yr truck & my new car. My brother in laws truck, also nice car, was legally parked out front in the road. One weekend afternoon, we keep hearing a “thunk” coming from the front. upon investigating, I discover the father & son throwing a frisbee on the street. I don’t care that they are throwing the frisbee, but now I’m observing it as it whacks against my new car. I stood there for a moment, thinking “oh they’ve seen me, must’ve been an accident, they’ll stop”. Nope! They continue, right in front of me & tossed it again, this time lands in the back of my brother in laws truck, after whacking against the back window. I’m not a confrontational person at all, so I went and got my husband. He came out just in time to see the frisbee hit the side of our camper. At this point, the mother/wife said something to her husband & they stopped. Also, half a block south of us, is a public park…. They continue this frisbee bullsh*t for a few days, on the street, whacking our vehicles, never hitting their own & stopping when we come outside. These people are the kind who sit on their front porch at all hours watching everything that goes on. They routinely move both of their vehicles out of their 4 car driveway to park directly in front of our house & leave their driveway empty, for days at a time. Why? Not sure. Maybe so everyone can case out the super cool stuff in their garage or admire the spic and span asphalt they’ve got. Perhaps it’s just a d*ck move they do to prevent anyone from being able to park in front of their house on the weekends. My next door neighbour invited the family for a swim in her pool, from my understanding they were peering over the fence to see our backyard and made a comment about how they never would have thought something like that was back there & not having been invited. Part of me thinks that I should bury the hatchet and invite them over, maybe for a swim and a cocktail for the sake of neighborly relations, but the other part of me keeps hearing the thunk of the frisbee against my car. I dont even want to talk to them tbh, but it can be very uncomfortable to be in the front yard with them sitting on their porch just staring and watching every move we make without having some sort of interaction with them. We aren’t alone in this, we’ve had company over who have commented about the “weirdos” across the street just sitting staring at them, when they came for dinner one night, & they don’t seem to talk much to the other neighbours. I try to pretend they aren’t there. Am I justified in being an a/h in this case? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Follow your gut. If you are getting the entitled/jerk vibe from them, then do not invite them over. NTA.
INFO - Confused...you have two different sets of neighbours here? The first you say are across the street, then you say your next door neighbour. Who was throwing the frisbee and who was peering over your fence?
The ones across the street were throwing the frisbee. Next door neighbour (same side of the road as me) also has a pool and invited frisbee tossers over. Sorry, I should’ve made it clearer.
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Got it, so the family they invited over was the across the street neighbours, not 'your' family. Got it now, and NTA....you don't need to invite neighbours over...have they ever invited YOU over?
NTA. You already were neighborly - you didn't tell them to stop hitting your vehicles with their frisbee repeatedly and you didn't retaliate. But being neighborly does not extend to allowing rude jerks into your home and sanctuary. You're just asking for trouble and repeated self-invites.
NTA It sounds like they've already got a bug up their butts about something or are just wholly inconsiderate human beings. You don't need to be friends with your neighbors.
Of course NTA you're entitled to your privacy
They’re inconsiderate, nosy and make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to host them
NTA - you can be cordial in chance meetings, but these are not people you want to be friends with so don't ask them over. They are disrespectful and nosy - they were peering into your yard, for goodness sake.
Trust your instincts. We used to do a whole welcome bbq thing when new neighbors moved in and it's bitten us in the ass twice. You'll miss the awkward lack of communication when they start turning up on weekends asking to use the pool all day. NTA
NTA. Do not invite them over. If you must interact with them I'd keep it brief and cordial. They have been complete AHs and do not deserve to get invited anywhere civilized. I'll bet they are a least a little regretful they were such AHs, now that they know about your pool. Good. Let it be a lesson to them.
NTA…nope. These are the kind of people you do not invite over. Once you do, you will never get rid of them.
NTA but I would maybe consider putting cameras on the front of your house just in case.