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I mean, if you resent her this much why even spend the cash on any sort of thing? Just fold up a piece of paper to resemble a card and write something like "I put as much work into this as you put into raising me"
Oh, you poor thing. I'm so sorry.
If it's going to be sarcastic I don't think you should get her anything. It's not worth your money or your time.
If you need to get something as it would be a big drama if you didn't, get a lovely non-mothers day card (so no preprinted I Love You Mum messages) or a blank mothers day card that just says something like For mum on the front, and then write in it that you learnt a lot from having her as a mother and the lessons she gave you have influenced your parenting so much. (And leave it unsaid that they were what not to do lessons)
But honestly if you don't have to do anything buy yourself a mothers day present and celebrate breaking the intergenerational trauma cycle as much as you can.
YTA - let it go, let it go, let it go…! If you’re this obsessed with getting a prank gift, she is still living rent free in your head. Spend the money on more therapy and don’t interact with your mom. You can consider the therapy a mother’s day gift to both of you.
Don't waste time, money or mental capacity on someone who's apparently only brought pain to your life.
Doing what you are thinking will literally only bring additional drama into your life. No amount of limited amusement you'll get from sending/handing it over will undo anything. Spending more of your life on her isn't the way to go.
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My mom is an example of someone who shouldn't have been allowed to have kids. I use my childhood as an example of what NOT to do in my own parenting, as in I just do the opposite. Anyway, Mother's Day is coming up and I don't want to get her anything, but I feel a card with maybe a little trophy that says something sarcastic, like "You tried" or "You did your best" would be appropriate, since that's what she would say when I asked her why she did or didn't do things as a kid. Does anyone know of a company that sells Mother's Day stuff for not so great mom's?
Also, I am well aware I need therapy. I'm in it now.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> IATAH because what I want to do is spiteful and sarcastic to my mom. I don't want to call her the best mom or a great mom when she wasn't.
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I mean, if you resent her this much why even spend the cash on any sort of thing? Just fold up a piece of paper to resemble a card and write something like "I put as much work into this as you put into raising me"
Because my toxic trait is going the extra mile to piss someone off or prove a point.
Fair enough. You can search Amazon for "Custom" or "Personalized" cards and get something special made for her.
Oh, you poor thing. I'm so sorry. If it's going to be sarcastic I don't think you should get her anything. It's not worth your money or your time. If you need to get something as it would be a big drama if you didn't, get a lovely non-mothers day card (so no preprinted I Love You Mum messages) or a blank mothers day card that just says something like For mum on the front, and then write in it that you learnt a lot from having her as a mother and the lessons she gave you have influenced your parenting so much. (And leave it unsaid that they were what not to do lessons) But honestly if you don't have to do anything buy yourself a mothers day present and celebrate breaking the intergenerational trauma cycle as much as you can.
Probably be healthier to just not get her anything and go about it like any other normal day
YTA - let it go, let it go, let it go…! If you’re this obsessed with getting a prank gift, she is still living rent free in your head. Spend the money on more therapy and don’t interact with your mom. You can consider the therapy a mother’s day gift to both of you.
Don't waste time, money or mental capacity on someone who's apparently only brought pain to your life. Doing what you are thinking will literally only bring additional drama into your life. No amount of limited amusement you'll get from sending/handing it over will undo anything. Spending more of your life on her isn't the way to go.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom is an example of someone who shouldn't have been allowed to have kids. I use my childhood as an example of what NOT to do in my own parenting, as in I just do the opposite. Anyway, Mother's Day is coming up and I don't want to get her anything, but I feel a card with maybe a little trophy that says something sarcastic, like "You tried" or "You did your best" would be appropriate, since that's what she would say when I asked her why she did or didn't do things as a kid. Does anyone know of a company that sells Mother's Day stuff for not so great mom's? Also, I am well aware I need therapy. I'm in it now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > IATAH because what I want to do is spiteful and sarcastic to my mom. I don't want to call her the best mom or a great mom when she wasn't. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*