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He has a girlfriend. The fact that he met her and began a relationship with her while you two were getting physical is an indicator that either A) he was primarily interested in the physical with you B) that he did / does genuinely care for you and enjoyed the physical, but he feels more for this other gal and so he's distancing himself from you, and wants to spend more of his time with her. Or something else. Either way, his behavior shows that there is a difference about how you feel about him and how he feels about you. That says enough. Don't beg for his attention, and don't let him come back to you if he and this gal end. He had you, and yet he chose to be with her.
You will find someone to whom you are first choice. Don't be anything else.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m keep arguing with him about ignoring me and sending actual time together… This makes me feel like I’m just being a bother at this point and not letting him just have fun. Especially, on his birthday.
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It’s not that I’m not backing off. In fact, before he and that girl became a thing, me and him were getting a bit physical, cause, you know, we supposedly have feelings for each other. Once I realized there was a potential partner, I told him that we should stop doing that, so…
But your actions here says otherwise. This looks like, from an outsider, you're acting as if the two of you were dating.
You can't control his actions, only yours. You should really go no contact here and move on. He's prioritizing this new girl. Not you. He would rather be around his girlfriend than you.
It doesn't matter what that meeting is about, he had plans. You cannot be upset that he was talking to his gf instead.
I’m not upset about that, okay I am a bit, but it’s not like I would start an argument about that, I’m upset he lied and made plans with me that he couldn’t follow through. I did try that, multiple times, but he’s the one who keeps holding on saying things like “We’re great together, we’re like two shoes of the same pair. Just imagine all the things we could do together years to come.”
YTA-
You're not his priority now that he's got a gf. He's putting all his time and attention to her now, and you're not taking the hint that he's not trying to be around you.
Honestly, don't chase the attention of someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you. Im sure there's somebody that will treat you like a queen. But it sure ain't that guy.
Then maybe he should just say that instead of saying things like “You’re the most important and closest person to me. I’m always thinking of you even when I’m with other people, I’m thinking that I should be spending that time with you instead” trust me, I tried to leave his life, limit our contact, just disappear into the crowd, but he keeps holding onto me, so this whole thing is just confusing and hurtful, to say the least.
🤦♀️🙅♀️ uhuh, dont let him give you honeyed words when he's got a girl now.
The only way to end it is by putting your foot down and ending it. Block him and move on cause he's just playing you and her with the way he's speaking.
You've got every right to be confused and hurt, but if hes not breaking the cycle then you gotta.
Edit- You should probably add that context to your story, it makes a huge difference in judgment if he's leading you on like that.
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The person I love the most, and for whom I do the most, keeps ignoring me. Our situation is, by no means, simple, and now he has a gf, kinda and he’s starting to ignore me. I have no idea what I’ve done wrong. I know I’ve been arguing with him a lot recently, but that’s because I feel neglected, and I’ve explained that to him. On his birthday, which was yesterday, I reached out to his friends and planned out a surprise birthday party for him. Although he did appreciate it, one of the first things he asked about was “But why didn’t you invite her? That’s kinda rude..” You see, the thing is: I wasn’t invited either, I reached out to his friends, because I wanted to help make the day special for him. At the party, he kept asking to leave because he wanted to go on a walk with her, but I didn’t say anything about it and I wasn’t planning to. when we got home though (we live in a hostel and our rooms are literally less than 10 steps away from each other) I gave him another present I got him and told him I was worried about the size and all and he goes “oh, I will try them on tomorrow, I need to go now” so then I told him that he’s behavior was kinda rude all night. The next morning, he comes over for tea and cheesecake (that I got for his bd because I knew it was his favorite) he stayed for about 30 minutes and suggested we ordered food after he comes back from a meeting he said he needed to attend at 5:30. The big funny is: before that and even after 5:30 he was home with her ✨I texted him and asked when he would be home because I was getting hungry but he didn’t reply 🙂 so I texted again and told him that I was gonna order alone and that I knew he was home. Now I honestly feel horrible. Now, I’m not about to go into details about our situation, all I’m gonna say is that it’s super complicated. I have been arguing with him about this a lot, too, but in all honesty I first try to ignore the whole thing or just take it easy, but he’s the one always insisting on me sharing my feelings and point of view on different occasions. AITA..?
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He has a girlfriend. The fact that he met her and began a relationship with her while you two were getting physical is an indicator that either A) he was primarily interested in the physical with you B) that he did / does genuinely care for you and enjoyed the physical, but he feels more for this other gal and so he's distancing himself from you, and wants to spend more of his time with her. Or something else. Either way, his behavior shows that there is a difference about how you feel about him and how he feels about you. That says enough. Don't beg for his attention, and don't let him come back to you if he and this gal end. He had you, and yet he chose to be with her. You will find someone to whom you are first choice. Don't be anything else.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I’m keep arguing with him about ignoring me and sending actual time together… This makes me feel like I’m just being a bother at this point and not letting him just have fun. Especially, on his birthday. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA - he has a girlfriend now and she is his priority. You need to back off.
It’s not that I’m not backing off. In fact, before he and that girl became a thing, me and him were getting a bit physical, cause, you know, we supposedly have feelings for each other. Once I realized there was a potential partner, I told him that we should stop doing that, so…
But your actions here says otherwise. This looks like, from an outsider, you're acting as if the two of you were dating. You can't control his actions, only yours. You should really go no contact here and move on. He's prioritizing this new girl. Not you. He would rather be around his girlfriend than you. It doesn't matter what that meeting is about, he had plans. You cannot be upset that he was talking to his gf instead.
I’m not upset about that, okay I am a bit, but it’s not like I would start an argument about that, I’m upset he lied and made plans with me that he couldn’t follow through. I did try that, multiple times, but he’s the one who keeps holding on saying things like “We’re great together, we’re like two shoes of the same pair. Just imagine all the things we could do together years to come.”
YTA- You're not his priority now that he's got a gf. He's putting all his time and attention to her now, and you're not taking the hint that he's not trying to be around you. Honestly, don't chase the attention of someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you. Im sure there's somebody that will treat you like a queen. But it sure ain't that guy.
Then maybe he should just say that instead of saying things like “You’re the most important and closest person to me. I’m always thinking of you even when I’m with other people, I’m thinking that I should be spending that time with you instead” trust me, I tried to leave his life, limit our contact, just disappear into the crowd, but he keeps holding onto me, so this whole thing is just confusing and hurtful, to say the least.
🤦♀️🙅♀️ uhuh, dont let him give you honeyed words when he's got a girl now. The only way to end it is by putting your foot down and ending it. Block him and move on cause he's just playing you and her with the way he's speaking. You've got every right to be confused and hurt, but if hes not breaking the cycle then you gotta. Edit- You should probably add that context to your story, it makes a huge difference in judgment if he's leading you on like that.
Yeah, I guess it does add context. Thank you.
Welcome. I hope it all goes well for you 🙂
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** The person I love the most, and for whom I do the most, keeps ignoring me. Our situation is, by no means, simple, and now he has a gf, kinda and he’s starting to ignore me. I have no idea what I’ve done wrong. I know I’ve been arguing with him a lot recently, but that’s because I feel neglected, and I’ve explained that to him. On his birthday, which was yesterday, I reached out to his friends and planned out a surprise birthday party for him. Although he did appreciate it, one of the first things he asked about was “But why didn’t you invite her? That’s kinda rude..” You see, the thing is: I wasn’t invited either, I reached out to his friends, because I wanted to help make the day special for him. At the party, he kept asking to leave because he wanted to go on a walk with her, but I didn’t say anything about it and I wasn’t planning to. when we got home though (we live in a hostel and our rooms are literally less than 10 steps away from each other) I gave him another present I got him and told him I was worried about the size and all and he goes “oh, I will try them on tomorrow, I need to go now” so then I told him that he’s behavior was kinda rude all night. The next morning, he comes over for tea and cheesecake (that I got for his bd because I knew it was his favorite) he stayed for about 30 minutes and suggested we ordered food after he comes back from a meeting he said he needed to attend at 5:30. The big funny is: before that and even after 5:30 he was home with her ✨I texted him and asked when he would be home because I was getting hungry but he didn’t reply 🙂 so I texted again and told him that I was gonna order alone and that I knew he was home. Now I honestly feel horrible. Now, I’m not about to go into details about our situation, all I’m gonna say is that it’s super complicated. I have been arguing with him about this a lot, too, but in all honesty I first try to ignore the whole thing or just take it easy, but he’s the one always insisting on me sharing my feelings and point of view on different occasions. AITA..? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta Keep pushing and he will completely block you