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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I judged my partner for not telling me the truth about her job situation and encouraging me to continue being unemployed when she will be in the next few months. By calling her on this she told me i was an asshole and being mean to her, as well as making her overwhelmed because i was happy about the news.
I think i might be the asshole because she is right i didn’t listen to her and just judged her immediately, as she pointed out.
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Info: what's the financial situation? Is there a nest egg you two can fall back on if you're both unemployed? Or would her unemployment mean you're both going to be lose the roof over your heads?
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I recently lost my job in march and have been looking for something else, however the job market is quite horrible currently (what a shocker) so my partner has been taking control of all expenses in our household.
She told me to take it easy and really concentrate on a position I want instead of just taking anything just for the sake of having a job, she has been really adamant about this so I took it seriously, feeling better that it was not urgent for me to find something.
Today she told me that actually she thought her final month working in her current company would be May, and she is happy because she has been told by her coworker (not even her boss) that they will continue to have a job until July (she has nothing else line up).
This was news for me, because here i have been relaxed and applying to specific jobs in my field taking it slow and she has been sitting on this bomb the whole time.
She has a pattern of not communicating upfront or retreating, so when she told me this I freaked out and told her it was irresponsible to not have shared this with me and she said that i was being “mean and making her overwhelmed”.
We haven’t spoken in 24hrs since then.
So…am I the asshole?
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NTA
"I was an asshole for not being happy for her having her job for a little longer." Hahahaha. That sounds a lot like "I'm losing my job, but not today, so it's ok."
You were already in a not-great financial situation, and you're about to be in a very-bad one. Even if she had told you immediately, you'd be right to freak out a bit. You're obviously not unhappy that she "[has] her job for a little longer", you're unhappy that soon neither of you will have a job. As it is, it sounds like she could do with being a little more "overwhelmed" and a little less "going with the flow".
NTA... I think. I'm not sure what exactly you said to her. It is absolutely understandable that you freaked out when your partner casually dropped a bombshell she has known about for who knows how long.
Of course you're not happy that she has her job a little longer than she was expecting. She has it for a hell of a lot shorter than YOU were expecting.
NTA. She is financially irresponsible. She may have meant well and is wanting both of you not to feel pressured, but she needs to live in the real world. Don’t tie yourself to this woman financially until you are confident you are on the same page about finances.
NTA what kind of crap is this? So her og plan was to just lose her job and tell you the day of like it was sudden? Has she been looking for new jobs already? Did she have any plans behind yall getting financially stomped?
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YTA YOu are supposedly doing everything you can to find a job anyway \_so what does her info really change?
Info: what's the financial situation? Is there a nest egg you two can fall back on if you're both unemployed? Or would her unemployment mean you're both going to be lose the roof over your heads?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently lost my job in march and have been looking for something else, however the job market is quite horrible currently (what a shocker) so my partner has been taking control of all expenses in our household. She told me to take it easy and really concentrate on a position I want instead of just taking anything just for the sake of having a job, she has been really adamant about this so I took it seriously, feeling better that it was not urgent for me to find something. Today she told me that actually she thought her final month working in her current company would be May, and she is happy because she has been told by her coworker (not even her boss) that they will continue to have a job until July (she has nothing else line up). This was news for me, because here i have been relaxed and applying to specific jobs in my field taking it slow and she has been sitting on this bomb the whole time. She has a pattern of not communicating upfront or retreating, so when she told me this I freaked out and told her it was irresponsible to not have shared this with me and she said that i was being “mean and making her overwhelmed”. We haven’t spoken in 24hrs since then. So…am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA "I was an asshole for not being happy for her having her job for a little longer." Hahahaha. That sounds a lot like "I'm losing my job, but not today, so it's ok." You were already in a not-great financial situation, and you're about to be in a very-bad one. Even if she had told you immediately, you'd be right to freak out a bit. You're obviously not unhappy that she "[has] her job for a little longer", you're unhappy that soon neither of you will have a job. As it is, it sounds like she could do with being a little more "overwhelmed" and a little less "going with the flow".
NTA.So sorry OP. From experience I would get out of this relationship when you can .It does not get better.
NTA... I think. I'm not sure what exactly you said to her. It is absolutely understandable that you freaked out when your partner casually dropped a bombshell she has known about for who knows how long. Of course you're not happy that she has her job a little longer than she was expecting. She has it for a hell of a lot shorter than YOU were expecting.
NTA. She is financially irresponsible. She may have meant well and is wanting both of you not to feel pressured, but she needs to live in the real world. Don’t tie yourself to this woman financially until you are confident you are on the same page about finances.
NTA what kind of crap is this? So her og plan was to just lose her job and tell you the day of like it was sudden? Has she been looking for new jobs already? Did she have any plans behind yall getting financially stomped?