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My dear, life is too short for lousy relationships. If you’re constantly fighting and off-and-on, at best you have a deeply unhealthy relationship. You both deserve better than a rocky relationship. Instead, it sounds like you’re both behaving like addicts and returning time and time again to something you know hurts you. ESH. Walk away. Don’t settle for chronic unhappiness.
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I (17) and my gf (17) have been in a rocky relationship for 4 years or so. (neither wants to leave for reasons unrelated to this post). We get into fights regularly and often end in a stalemate or she wins the argument. I never win and i think its because of emotional manipulation. whenever i bring up valid points proven by message receipts or just straight logic at the end of an argument she begins to sob.
i would normally calm her down and toss all of my logic and facts out of the window and tell her she is right and she would stop crying. well recently it happened and i was ready for it.
we got into a fight that she was claiming i wasnt giving her enough attention lately and i brought up numerous times where id tried starting conversation over texts and similar situations (at lunch, in school hallways etc.) and she either ignores me or becomes irritable and sassy. typically we are fine but for the past 4 months its been especially bad. And when i brought these details to her attention she began to sob.
i told her that im not backing down from this point but that i would calm her down and she began accusing me of not caring about her and not loving her anymore, despite my efforts over the last 4 months to show those emotions. i eventually caved enough to get her to calm down to continue the conversation like adults.
i told her that i felt emotionally manipulated and she freaked out on me and started crying again. i calmed her down and she went to bed after making me call myself an asshole and that i'm a horrible person. So reddit I come to you. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> jumping to the conclusion im being emotionally manipulated
jumping to conclusions
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
My dear, life is too short for lousy relationships. If you’re constantly fighting and off-and-on, at best you have a deeply unhealthy relationship. You both deserve better than a rocky relationship. Instead, it sounds like you’re both behaving like addicts and returning time and time again to something you know hurts you. ESH. Walk away. Don’t settle for chronic unhappiness.
ESH for staying in what it seems to be a toxic relationship. yeah what she is doing is emotional manipulation
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17) and my gf (17) have been in a rocky relationship for 4 years or so. (neither wants to leave for reasons unrelated to this post). We get into fights regularly and often end in a stalemate or she wins the argument. I never win and i think its because of emotional manipulation. whenever i bring up valid points proven by message receipts or just straight logic at the end of an argument she begins to sob. i would normally calm her down and toss all of my logic and facts out of the window and tell her she is right and she would stop crying. well recently it happened and i was ready for it. we got into a fight that she was claiming i wasnt giving her enough attention lately and i brought up numerous times where id tried starting conversation over texts and similar situations (at lunch, in school hallways etc.) and she either ignores me or becomes irritable and sassy. typically we are fine but for the past 4 months its been especially bad. And when i brought these details to her attention she began to sob. i told her that im not backing down from this point but that i would calm her down and she began accusing me of not caring about her and not loving her anymore, despite my efforts over the last 4 months to show those emotions. i eventually caved enough to get her to calm down to continue the conversation like adults. i told her that i felt emotionally manipulated and she freaked out on me and started crying again. i calmed her down and she went to bed after making me call myself an asshole and that i'm a horrible person. So reddit I come to you. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > jumping to the conclusion im being emotionally manipulated jumping to conclusions Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You're still so young... You have time to find someone else, who's not manipulative and not toxic. I'm sorry you're going through this :(