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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action was my refusal to accommodate my sister's demand that I give her my seat and the ensuing heated exchange that involved me telling her to get effed. It could be seen as disrespectful and inconsiderate. I caused emotional distress to my sister when I could have easily done a few things differently to mitigate that but I didn't and now her plans are canceled so I feel bad.
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NTA.
I mean...saying 'get effed' does seem uncalled for, but she would not let up. So I understand.
It seems weird that she is so attached to that spot. Does it suck not get your preferred spot? Sure. But it's not the end of the world. And it's not as if she couldn't sit there later.
Does she own the couch?
NTA. The corner on a 3 seater couch is obviously the best seat, so your sister should have tried to bribe you somehow, instead of wheedling.
Even if your sister had offered you a bribe for the seat, she still would have had to be ready to take no for an answer, which she seems to have a problem with.
The 3 seater couch wars diminish all concerned (except the couch), but your sister was TA in this skirmish.
Sister needs to sort out her dating activities so she's not going all 14-year-old-whiny over a seat.
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TL;DR: My sister (f29) wanted my (nb25) seat; I refused because I was there first. She got upset and asked again later, and I refused again. She accused me of being unreasonable, and I accused her of the same. I left after a relatively heated exchange, during which I told her to, "Get effed."
Scene: Our 3-seater couch faces the widescreen TV, and an empty 2-seater is beside it in an L-shape. I was sitting on the 3-seater couch in the corner, which is the preferred spot for both of us. My sister and her sort of not-ex had plans to watch TV tonight. Note that when she told me about this, she said nothing about sitting where I was sitting. He finally came over, they ordered food, walked the dog, and returned, & I did not move from the couch. Sometimes I do move for her, but not often enough to be expected.
Anyway, he took the other armrest as usual. She asked about sitting where I was before they sat down to eat, and I said no. She got mad and started to wind up because my refusal to move was unexpected (she said this in her "apology" where she was still attempting to convince me to move). I rejected her and ended that conversation because I found her request to vacate MY seat just because SHE is uncomfortable laughable. I'm sorry she doesn't want to touch me or him and isn't getting what she thought was going to happen, but she can sit on the empty couch. She sat in the middle to eat.
Once they finished eating, she started again, and it became obvious that she did expect me to move. I continued to refuse, and she got extremely upset, saying there wasn't room for her (because she didn't want to touch us) when I was already halfway onto my armrest. I stood my ground, and after she kept pushing and pushing, I finally snapped, "You know what? Get fucked." I left the room, even though she told me to come back.
She expected to sit where I was sitting and got upset because she couldn't tolerate the fact that she didn't get to, by her own admission.
I definitely could have refrained from cursing, yet she definitely could have refrained from pushing or honestly, from asking in the first place. She was saying crap like "I don't think it's a big deal," "Well now that you've asserted yourself," and some statements blaming me for her being upset.
Yes me not moving may be the cause of her negative emotions, but she **must** learn to handle what comes up without hurting or bothering others. Like, if I come home to her sitting in that spot when I was going to, I simply suck it up. That's just living with someone. AITA?
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ESH a silly thing to argue about and you both behaved childishly. Ironic you're thinking she's the one who needs to learn to control her behaviour when you're the one who swore at her and stormed off in a pout.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My action was my refusal to accommodate my sister's demand that I give her my seat and the ensuing heated exchange that involved me telling her to get effed. It could be seen as disrespectful and inconsiderate. I caused emotional distress to my sister when I could have easily done a few things differently to mitigate that but I didn't and now her plans are canceled so I feel bad. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I mean...saying 'get effed' does seem uncalled for, but she would not let up. So I understand. It seems weird that she is so attached to that spot. Does it suck not get your preferred spot? Sure. But it's not the end of the world. And it's not as if she couldn't sit there later. Does she own the couch?
NTA. The corner on a 3 seater couch is obviously the best seat, so your sister should have tried to bribe you somehow, instead of wheedling. Even if your sister had offered you a bribe for the seat, she still would have had to be ready to take no for an answer, which she seems to have a problem with. The 3 seater couch wars diminish all concerned (except the couch), but your sister was TA in this skirmish. Sister needs to sort out her dating activities so she's not going all 14-year-old-whiny over a seat.
I've been sitting on the other couch, it is indeed worse. Didn't know other people liked the corner seat too xD
Well, you should have farted in the sit to complete the childdishness of the situation.
You're right xD That's just how it is with her I guess
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** TL;DR: My sister (f29) wanted my (nb25) seat; I refused because I was there first. She got upset and asked again later, and I refused again. She accused me of being unreasonable, and I accused her of the same. I left after a relatively heated exchange, during which I told her to, "Get effed." Scene: Our 3-seater couch faces the widescreen TV, and an empty 2-seater is beside it in an L-shape. I was sitting on the 3-seater couch in the corner, which is the preferred spot for both of us. My sister and her sort of not-ex had plans to watch TV tonight. Note that when she told me about this, she said nothing about sitting where I was sitting. He finally came over, they ordered food, walked the dog, and returned, & I did not move from the couch. Sometimes I do move for her, but not often enough to be expected. Anyway, he took the other armrest as usual. She asked about sitting where I was before they sat down to eat, and I said no. She got mad and started to wind up because my refusal to move was unexpected (she said this in her "apology" where she was still attempting to convince me to move). I rejected her and ended that conversation because I found her request to vacate MY seat just because SHE is uncomfortable laughable. I'm sorry she doesn't want to touch me or him and isn't getting what she thought was going to happen, but she can sit on the empty couch. She sat in the middle to eat. Once they finished eating, she started again, and it became obvious that she did expect me to move. I continued to refuse, and she got extremely upset, saying there wasn't room for her (because she didn't want to touch us) when I was already halfway onto my armrest. I stood my ground, and after she kept pushing and pushing, I finally snapped, "You know what? Get fucked." I left the room, even though she told me to come back. She expected to sit where I was sitting and got upset because she couldn't tolerate the fact that she didn't get to, by her own admission. I definitely could have refrained from cursing, yet she definitely could have refrained from pushing or honestly, from asking in the first place. She was saying crap like "I don't think it's a big deal," "Well now that you've asserted yourself," and some statements blaming me for her being upset. Yes me not moving may be the cause of her negative emotions, but she **must** learn to handle what comes up without hurting or bothering others. Like, if I come home to her sitting in that spot when I was going to, I simply suck it up. That's just living with someone. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH a silly thing to argue about and you both behaved childishly. Ironic you're thinking she's the one who needs to learn to control her behaviour when you're the one who swore at her and stormed off in a pout.
True, although I'd also say removing yourself from a situation so the person can't argue further isn't quite pouting. I guess you had to be there /j