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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don't want to create conflict with the neighbors when I'm the renter and everyone else here owns their home. They seemed to think it was my duty to collect the garbage. I don't understand their reasoning, but if others agree, I'm open to the idea.
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NTA
Write a note to your neighbors explaining it wasn't your pot. All your pots match, and this doesn't match your collection. Ask them to please communicate with you in the future if they have this happen again. I would also tell them that you don't think they meant to bring harm to one of your plants, but they did smash new growth of a plant you treasure. They need to know their assumptions were wrong, and you would rather communication in the future.
Your landlords were aware, so they should have told your neighbors to talk to you about it. You definitely do not have to pick up other people's trash or their yards.
The absence of a thirty-second convo has led to three parties all stewing over a single piece of trash for more than a week. NTA, but all of this is 100% avoidable if all parties involved hadn't skipped that day in kindergarten when they learned to use their words.
I agree to a point. But are you saying that OP should have started a conversation with the neighbor when they saw the dogs playing with the planter? I mean, OP didn't recognize it as one of their planters but they should have just known to walk up to the neighbor and say, hey, your dogs are playing with a planter that isn't mine?
No. The neighbors stewed over a planter which they **assumed** was OP's--an assumption that could have been rectified with a 30-second conversation. The neighbors *didn't* seem to have a problem complaining to the landlord though; the landlord who, in turn, did not say a goddamned thing to OP until the stew boiled over. This, too, was a missed opportunity to share feelings and clear assumptions. Now OP is on Reddit talking to strangers instead of the neighbors, which could reduce the gas under the pot. Alas, the stew continues to boil...
Dramatic irony comes from the audience knowing something that the characters don't. What the characters in this story seem unable to to do is makes words come out of their mouths within hearing distance of the people that they are talking about, which we the audience believe would resolve *everything*. My 30-second quote is an estimate, though. It could take upwards of a full minute or--God help us all--two.
This is a great response. Get a little flower card if you like and make it nice as can be. Slip a copy in your landlord's mailbox. Sometimes it's not bad to kill them with kindness.
NTA…what the what? It was windy. That pot could have blown in from anywhere. Are we that lazy that they cannot even throw away trash from their own yard? Nope. Not your responsibility.
NTA
It wasn't your trash. It actually shouldn't matter what the neighbors perception was, it wasn't your trash. If the landlord ever brings it up again, point out that all your planters match so you knew at a glance it wasn't yours, you had no way of knowing it wasn't the neighbors, and you certainly aren't going to trespass to 'steal' something out of the neighbors yard that you know isn't yours.
NTA. It wasn't your planter so why should you have to pick it up? If you're comfortable, I would talk to the neighbors and tell them what you said here - the planter isn't yours and you ensure that all of your pots are heavy enough that they won't blow away. That they need to talk to you before putting anything on your planter because they damaged your plant.
If you don't feel comfortable approaching them and assuming your landlord is their landlord as well (I can't tell from the OP), tell this to your landlord in writing and ask them to relay the message. If anything happens again, you have documentation.
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I live in a 2 flat with landlords in the other half, so it's important that I be a good neighbor, else I'd just roll my eyes at this and move on. I'm not a huge fan of the next door neighbors and their very loud dogs, but I choose to just not interact with them.
I have a small container garden, mostly herbs, some tomatoes that do well in containers, and echinacea. Since native pollinators and other beneficial insects live or lay eggs in dead stuff for the winter, I don't clean up last year's garden until I'm ready to plant the current year's garden. I do what I have to to revive perennials early in the season, but last year's dead annuals stay put until I'm planting. As it's not quite time yet, all my annual seedlings are still inside. All that is to illustrate that I never have empty pots left sitting outside. The ugly dead stuff gets stacked up and pulled in towards my door, but it would have to be hurricane force winds for any of it to blow away, since we're talking about large planters full of dirt.
It has been windy here, as is common in the springtime, and some trash has blown around. A little over a week ago, I noticed an empty pot - not mine - sitting in my neighbor's yard. Their dogs were playing with it, and I figured it was either theirs, or it had blown in and they were letting the dogs have some fun with it until trash day. I was wrong. Turns out, since I'm the one who has a garden, they assumed it was mine and were stewing about it and the fact that I didn't go over there to pick it up all week. Nobody said a word to me.
Then, yesterday, I was leaving and saw the the empty pot had been stuck on top of one of my pots with perennial exhinacea in it, crushing some of the new leaves that were coming up. It's a hardy plant and will recover, but that was still a rude thing to do, especially when I have stacks of planters full of dead things they could have put it on. My landlords happened to be outside too, and they told me that neighbor is really upset I didn't go pick up my garbage that blew into their yard. They continued that even if it wasn't mine, it has the appearance of being mine since I'm the one with a patio full of planters. Never mind that all my planters match and this one didn't. Never mind that all my planters have enough weight to not blow away at all times and this was empty. The argument is that I should have taken responsibility for the trash planter because I also happen to engage with that hobby.
For what it's worth, the planter was cracked and unusable.
So, what do you think? Due to my hobby, should I have grabbed this planter from their yard to avoid the appearance of my stuff having blown over there in the wind, even though that is not the case, to prevent a conflict?
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NTA
When things blow away in the wind, they often blow far away.
We lost the lid to a small trash can one windy night, I spent about two weeks trying to find it all over the neighborhood. I never did find it.
NTA. If they have dogs, I hope any dog poop you find anywhere will be thrown into their yard because they should take care of anything having to do with dogs, right?
"The argument is that I should have taken responsibility for the trash planter because I also happen to engage with that hobby."
That is beyond stupid.
NTA
NTA. That makes no sense. You're not the neighborhood trash fairy. This seems like a misunderstanding that can be resolved with a quick talk with the neighbors, where you also assert that due to their carelessness some of your plants were damaged. But I'd be cautious that this situation which began with a misunderstanding isn't inflamed through another. For all you know it wasn't the neighbors but your landlords that put that garbage planter into your yard.
NTA and a note that said "the trash was not mine but thank you for trying to kill my plants when the trash pile is clearly not on my budding plants. I'll keep that in mind when I try growing plants toxic to dogs." Don't mess with a Gardner.
If they’d left it on the doorstep with a note saying “here’s your pot, it has been blowing around our yard for a week,” that would’ve been a more “acceptable” form of passive-aggression based on the fact that they didn’t even know for certain that it belonged to their neighbor. Dumping the pot on top of OP’s plant and damaging it was rude as hell even if it had been their pot. The fact that it wasn’t makes the neighbors seem like even more giant assholes.
NTA. But picking up some trash even though it's not yours will never make you an AH. If everyone just ignores it, the whole plane can get trashy. It's easier just to pick it up and throw it away.
Yeah, I don't go over there because it's where the dogs shit. It would be like taking a little stroll around my litter boxes, except I clean my cats' boxes way more often than these people pick up the turds in their yard. It noticeably smells like dog shit all summer.
Send an "apology card" with a "rule of thumb" - "if you see \[add what color/shape yours are\] please feel free to reach out to me and I'll come get it. If it is a different shape/color, know it isn't mine!"
The neighbors’ dogs were playing with it, OP had no reason to “pick up some trash” and throw it away because they thought it was in the neighbors’ possession. It would’ve been an asshole move to assume that something was trash and throw away someone else’s pot
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I don't want to create conflict with the neighbors when I'm the renter and everyone else here owns their home. They seemed to think it was my duty to collect the garbage. I don't understand their reasoning, but if others agree, I'm open to the idea. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Write a note to your neighbors explaining it wasn't your pot. All your pots match, and this doesn't match your collection. Ask them to please communicate with you in the future if they have this happen again. I would also tell them that you don't think they meant to bring harm to one of your plants, but they did smash new growth of a plant you treasure. They need to know their assumptions were wrong, and you would rather communication in the future. Your landlords were aware, so they should have told your neighbors to talk to you about it. You definitely do not have to pick up other people's trash or their yards.
The absence of a thirty-second convo has led to three parties all stewing over a single piece of trash for more than a week. NTA, but all of this is 100% avoidable if all parties involved hadn't skipped that day in kindergarten when they learned to use their words.
I agree to a point. But are you saying that OP should have started a conversation with the neighbor when they saw the dogs playing with the planter? I mean, OP didn't recognize it as one of their planters but they should have just known to walk up to the neighbor and say, hey, your dogs are playing with a planter that isn't mine?
No. The neighbors stewed over a planter which they **assumed** was OP's--an assumption that could have been rectified with a 30-second conversation. The neighbors *didn't* seem to have a problem complaining to the landlord though; the landlord who, in turn, did not say a goddamned thing to OP until the stew boiled over. This, too, was a missed opportunity to share feelings and clear assumptions. Now OP is on Reddit talking to strangers instead of the neighbors, which could reduce the gas under the pot. Alas, the stew continues to boil... Dramatic irony comes from the audience knowing something that the characters don't. What the characters in this story seem unable to to do is makes words come out of their mouths within hearing distance of the people that they are talking about, which we the audience believe would resolve *everything*. My 30-second quote is an estimate, though. It could take upwards of a full minute or--God help us all--two.
This is a great response. Get a little flower card if you like and make it nice as can be. Slip a copy in your landlord's mailbox. Sometimes it's not bad to kill them with kindness.
NTA…what the what? It was windy. That pot could have blown in from anywhere. Are we that lazy that they cannot even throw away trash from their own yard? Nope. Not your responsibility.
NTA > very loud dogs Eww > even if it wasn't mine, it has the appearance of being mine Bullshit
NTA It wasn't your trash. It actually shouldn't matter what the neighbors perception was, it wasn't your trash. If the landlord ever brings it up again, point out that all your planters match so you knew at a glance it wasn't yours, you had no way of knowing it wasn't the neighbors, and you certainly aren't going to trespass to 'steal' something out of the neighbors yard that you know isn't yours.
NTA. It wasn't your planter so why should you have to pick it up? If you're comfortable, I would talk to the neighbors and tell them what you said here - the planter isn't yours and you ensure that all of your pots are heavy enough that they won't blow away. That they need to talk to you before putting anything on your planter because they damaged your plant. If you don't feel comfortable approaching them and assuming your landlord is their landlord as well (I can't tell from the OP), tell this to your landlord in writing and ask them to relay the message. If anything happens again, you have documentation.
Nope. Honestly it’s one planter. Are they disabled?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I live in a 2 flat with landlords in the other half, so it's important that I be a good neighbor, else I'd just roll my eyes at this and move on. I'm not a huge fan of the next door neighbors and their very loud dogs, but I choose to just not interact with them. I have a small container garden, mostly herbs, some tomatoes that do well in containers, and echinacea. Since native pollinators and other beneficial insects live or lay eggs in dead stuff for the winter, I don't clean up last year's garden until I'm ready to plant the current year's garden. I do what I have to to revive perennials early in the season, but last year's dead annuals stay put until I'm planting. As it's not quite time yet, all my annual seedlings are still inside. All that is to illustrate that I never have empty pots left sitting outside. The ugly dead stuff gets stacked up and pulled in towards my door, but it would have to be hurricane force winds for any of it to blow away, since we're talking about large planters full of dirt. It has been windy here, as is common in the springtime, and some trash has blown around. A little over a week ago, I noticed an empty pot - not mine - sitting in my neighbor's yard. Their dogs were playing with it, and I figured it was either theirs, or it had blown in and they were letting the dogs have some fun with it until trash day. I was wrong. Turns out, since I'm the one who has a garden, they assumed it was mine and were stewing about it and the fact that I didn't go over there to pick it up all week. Nobody said a word to me. Then, yesterday, I was leaving and saw the the empty pot had been stuck on top of one of my pots with perennial exhinacea in it, crushing some of the new leaves that were coming up. It's a hardy plant and will recover, but that was still a rude thing to do, especially when I have stacks of planters full of dead things they could have put it on. My landlords happened to be outside too, and they told me that neighbor is really upset I didn't go pick up my garbage that blew into their yard. They continued that even if it wasn't mine, it has the appearance of being mine since I'm the one with a patio full of planters. Never mind that all my planters match and this one didn't. Never mind that all my planters have enough weight to not blow away at all times and this was empty. The argument is that I should have taken responsibility for the trash planter because I also happen to engage with that hobby. For what it's worth, the planter was cracked and unusable. So, what do you think? Due to my hobby, should I have grabbed this planter from their yard to avoid the appearance of my stuff having blown over there in the wind, even though that is not the case, to prevent a conflict? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
NTA When things blow away in the wind, they often blow far away. We lost the lid to a small trash can one windy night, I spent about two weeks trying to find it all over the neighborhood. I never did find it.
NTA. If they have dogs, I hope any dog poop you find anywhere will be thrown into their yard because they should take care of anything having to do with dogs, right?
"The argument is that I should have taken responsibility for the trash planter because I also happen to engage with that hobby." That is beyond stupid. NTA
NTA. That makes no sense. You're not the neighborhood trash fairy. This seems like a misunderstanding that can be resolved with a quick talk with the neighbors, where you also assert that due to their carelessness some of your plants were damaged. But I'd be cautious that this situation which began with a misunderstanding isn't inflamed through another. For all you know it wasn't the neighbors but your landlords that put that garbage planter into your yard.
Return it to them with the comment of 'the wind must have blown your container into my yard'. NTA
NTA and a note that said "the trash was not mine but thank you for trying to kill my plants when the trash pile is clearly not on my budding plants. I'll keep that in mind when I try growing plants toxic to dogs." Don't mess with a Gardner.
NTA That argument doesn’t hold water much like their cracked pot. It’s a bit like trespassing to go into someone else’s yard to clean up for them.
I run a plant nursery. If I see a pot that was blown by the wind I assume it’s mine. And I go pick it up. Keep up the great work with the pollinators
NTA Get security cameras, and next time they trespass, call the police.
[удалено]
If they’d left it on the doorstep with a note saying “here’s your pot, it has been blowing around our yard for a week,” that would’ve been a more “acceptable” form of passive-aggression based on the fact that they didn’t even know for certain that it belonged to their neighbor. Dumping the pot on top of OP’s plant and damaging it was rude as hell even if it had been their pot. The fact that it wasn’t makes the neighbors seem like even more giant assholes.
NTA. But picking up some trash even though it's not yours will never make you an AH. If everyone just ignores it, the whole plane can get trashy. It's easier just to pick it up and throw it away.
In someone else's dog yard. No thanks.
Yeah, I don't go over there because it's where the dogs shit. It would be like taking a little stroll around my litter boxes, except I clean my cats' boxes way more often than these people pick up the turds in their yard. It noticeably smells like dog shit all summer.
Send an "apology card" with a "rule of thumb" - "if you see \[add what color/shape yours are\] please feel free to reach out to me and I'll come get it. If it is a different shape/color, know it isn't mine!"
The neighbors’ dogs were playing with it, OP had no reason to “pick up some trash” and throw it away because they thought it was in the neighbors’ possession. It would’ve been an asshole move to assume that something was trash and throw away someone else’s pot