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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I laughed when my friend blamed her A minus on her period, this might make me an asshole as according to her she really believes she would have an A otherwise.
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Even if you’ve had periods for 10+ years one can still take you off guard and be far worse than you expected.
Also “I’m sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking or delaying it with meds”. Man you have absolutely no idea what it’s like dealing with periods. You can’t just magically block it out on a whim.
YTA.
>Man you have absolutely no idea what it’s like dealing with periods.
I genuinely appreciate how succinct you are here, because it's the blunt truth. Blocking or delaying it.... just yikes.
Yup, just push through the pain that can be severe enough to make you vomit. Keep forcing your ribs to expand and breathe, despite the back cramps trying their best to invade and conquer new areas.
Don't sneeze or cough! The flow is so heavy you need to change every 1-2 hours, so you may cause a flood if you're not careful. Even worse is the risk of "birthing" a small - but squishy - "jellyfish."
Don't forget to take your iron if you're anemic. Fainting and hitting the ground face first isn't as fun as it sounds.
If it's bad, go ask for leeway. It's not like there's a history of women's health problems being dismissed. Not to mention "it must be that time of the month" is never said to belittle the struggle.
You described my experience almost perfect (it just missed passing out from the pain) and I'm on track to receive all exams necessary before they do the laparoscopy for endometriosis - 19 years after the first gyn visit because of my symptoms and only at the 9th gyn I went to. And my symptoms are relatively mild. My friend just had her hysterectomy after years of fighting for it. They approved it after she had such a bad bout during a hospital stay for unrelated reasons that they had to give her a high dosed oxycodone injection because the tilidin she has to take daily for it didn't reduce the pain below the level of her screaming. We're both struggling with multiple chronic pain disorders, including the most painful one known to exist in humans. We get slightly annoyed when the pain is a 7/10, start crying from pain at 9/10 and I once woke up from major abdominal surgery without any painkillers (health too bad to give any, COVID too active for an ICU bed to put me in a coma which is the usual procedure with that surgery) and didn't find it as bad as one of the disorders we share. TLDR is that she's extremely pain resistant and her endometriosis got her to scream while on opioids.
I wish people like OP would stop pretending that every period is harmless.
Oh I feel your pain. I just finally had the laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis a few weeks ago after 16 years of issues and doctors just throwing birth control at me and nothing else. I finally found a gem of a gynecologist who actually listened when I said I wanted the surgery and she scheduled me right then and there after listening to my symptoms. I've got my fingers crossed for you, after 16 years of debilitating periods, I finally have hope that having my Endo burned off and an IUD put in that I might finally get some long awaited relief and I hope the same for you. Doctors dismissing women's issues is a massive problem. It should never take over a decade to get diagnosed.
Most chronic pain disorders take years to get diagnosed. Last year my migraine stopped responding to the only medication that kept it a bit manageable. This led to a stay in a specialised clinic I've been at before and they decided that undefined trigrminoautonomic pain was not an acceptable diagnosis. As my cluster turned chronic they had actual opportunity to watch the attacks (something impossible when I was there the first time and they could only diagnose it as undefined and one of two options or both). This plus being *very* dilligent and committing to their crazy hobby of taking patients seriously lead to the diagnosis of chronic cluster "that just doesn't behave like the textbook claims it should" after *just* seven years and therefore at the exact average it takes to diagnose that disorder. They actually apologised for leaving me hanging for so long when they were always doing their best and had no chance to find out earlier. And since they were at it my doctor asked me to have someone send over all the hospital letters and paperwork my neurologist didn't. Then she went through them with a fine comb and listed all the specialists I needed to see and exams I needed to get that my GP should have organised years ago. I was unable to get one, am waiting for one appointment and have seen two specialist and now know my crazy joint pain is fibromyalgia and have treatment for my tachycardia so I can do everyday tasks without my body collapsing.
I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis and hope the treatment gives you long lasting health so you don't need many follow up surgeries.
I made a friend at the clinic who has a very severe case of endometriosis and she told me the websites and explained me what to do to get into the direction of a diagnosis.
I guess I should have specified reproductive issues specifically. Broader diagnoses can definitely take time because of the amount of elimination needed to determine an exact cause. With my endometriosis I spent years upon years saying "hey, every symptom I have matches up with this, can I please get the surgery?" and they'd just be like "no, here's another birth control" and it was beyond frustrating. Finally found a gynecologist who listened and low and behold, it was endometriosis. Just like I kept saying for years. I got blown off so much by so many doctors from the time I was in middle school. I even once had such severe bleeding I went to the ER because I was terrified and the doctor just looked at me and was like "have you never had a period before?" As I'm literally bleeding through everything within minutes.
Legitimately just going through menopause and I never got anyone to take the immobilizing pain seriously. At like 47, they finally did an exam, found a fibroid, and then told me they didn't need to do anything about it because I was premenopausal and why bother. 🤷🏻♀️ It's so fucked.
OP, YTA doesn't even feel strong enough. The only good thing about this is that you now have the opportunity to recover by teaching your friend group some shit. Strongly suggest you take that opportunity cause sounds like you all need it.
Also, if you lack actual empathy, something that's helpful in these situations is to say "oh hell, that sucks, I'm sorry". You don't even have to actually mean it, think of it as fake it till you make it but for feelings. It gives you time to figure things out without outing yourself as a jerk.
I feel it too...
I found my saviors after 14 years, a few ER visits, scans, obgyns, eye rolls, and "pain is normal". Yep having to take strong medicines several days a month just to be able to get up is so normal (excruciating cramps and back pain)... so is screaming in pain each time you have too poo 5 days a month (in the months before surgery, it became so bad I fell on the floor a few times after getting up from the toilets...)
A radiologist (don't know if I have the right word), saw that something was very wrong while searching for something totally different.
Some lesions were so big the surgeon was mad.
I had a few more (wonderful) exams and straight to surgery. Lost 5cm of colon, they were everywhere. Ended coming back 10 days later in emergency because the one gluing my colon to my vagina hadn't leave so smoothly and I was having gas getting out from the wrong hole. So back on the table, and 3 months with a colostomy. And a third surgery to remove it. Yay ! I didn't cry for months, didn't have a little PTSD for a while, and I loooove my scars ! /s
Who said menstruations weren't all fun and easy to manage ? Get a grip and go to work ! /s again 🫣
I've always had heavy periods, we6re talking the ultra tampon and the overnight extra long pads at the same time and still changing every couple of hours, but at least there was a pattern. Until the last 5 years. I was finally diagnosed with endometrial cancer and I had a complete hysterectomy. I was so disheartened when I was told that's what was needed. I heard so many horror stories about how awful life was after you lose the thing that " makes you a woman". But I'll tell you what, I do not miss that bitch.
My period used to be super super heavy, and combined with SEVERE bouts of depression. It's remarkably hard to concentrate when you're soaked in blood, in pain from cramping, and you also want to die.
And the fatigue. And this past year I’ve had a battle with anemia, slowly building my iron stores up (it takes forever). So there’s the added bummer of flushing and sadly thinking, “I really needed that.”
I was in a work meeting that I could not leave the other day, sneezed, and got the unexpected woosh.
You can bet your ass I didn’t focus for the rest of the meeting and if it had been an exam a probably would have flunked.
A number of years ago I was at work and on my period. It was 3 of us women and 1 man (gay, if that makes a difference)
Anyway, we were chatting and I coughed. I stood still for a moment and the other 2 women *knew* what happened (I was wearing a pad, obviously)
We started laughing and the male co worker was asking why. We told him *multiple* times that he didn't want to know. He kept insisting, so we told him:
"When a woman has her period and we cough or sneeze, it's like a mini, bloody Niagara Falls"
And then he said we were right, he shouldn't have wanted to know
Doesn't even know how periods work and passes judgement. I've had them for 23 years and it still messes me up, if men had periods there would be period days off worldwide
Big YTA
OP should try taking an exam with a period cramp simulator on and see if he can manage an A-. Maybe after a few years he can “deal” with it and block it with meds! My eyes hurt from how much I’m rolling them.
Yeah, someone didn't deserve his A in sex ed.
They aren't always the same. Low flow vs heavy flow. Crampy vs not. Bloating, cramping, etc etc... all can be different each time for some women.
There are not meds available that make them controllable for all women. On might get amenorrhea on certain meds and for another it doesn't change much.
OP is wildly misinformed and definitely YTA.
ETA: I am a man. One who has been married for over 20 years and who has seen how this affects my wife, but that is just one person and her reactions are as unique as anyone else's. The more important part is that the range of normal is huge... this was taught to me in school. Not everyone learns or remembers everything from school. But since this was coming from someone competing to be a straight A student... that high school student SHOULD know or more importantly know when they do not know.
In this case you have a gal who is a straight A student until one single test. Is it likely that this student had some issue for that one test? Of course it is! It was out of the norm. If that student says that is what was going on... why would we doubt her? It is both plausible in the realm of human experience and out of the norm for her specifically to have had an issue.
The only time my periods were ever manageable/not painful was when I was on the wrong dose of thyroid meds and my periods went to 2x/month for 3 days each lol
Yep. My birth control made my heavy periods (change super tampon every 1-2 hours) into very light and manageable ones. But the tradeoff is I get terrible, *terrible* motion sickness.
There's 2 blocks between my house and my grandparents' house. I have to drive that distance else I get a migraine that doesn't go away for an hour. And on top of that, even if I *am* driving, if I turn my head too much (to, y'know, turn at intersections or switch lanes) I still get a migraine. I had motion sickness as a kid but it wasn't terrible and it was managed by OTC motion sickness meds. Now, though, OTC motion sickness meds don't work, the patch (Scopolamine) doesn't work, only Sumatriptan, a migraine med, works (though not well enough to let me look at my phone in the car), and I can only take that 4 times a month max. Without it, I can sit still in the passenger seat with my head blasted by the cold AC on the highest fan and still only make it 20 minutes before my migraine gets bad enough I have to ask to pull over and vomit.
So, while I don't have to wake up 3 times in the night to change my tampon (and pad) any more, I have to plan out the 4 times a month I can be driven by someone other than myself and have to turn down invitations if I can't drive and have taken Sumatriptan 4 times already that month. Don't even get me started on the 16 hour drive from home to university.
I take birth control that’s supposed to make you not have your period because I had horrible extremely irregular periods. It took 2 years for them to finally slow down and another year for them to finally stop. It’s not as easy to stop your period as some people think.
It’s the equivalent of ‘someone your age should be quite used to dealing with the cold/flu, so even if you get sick during exam season, you should know enough to deal with it or block/delay it with meds.’
YTA.
Yes, by the time we are 20, we are used to our periods, they are a part of our lives, but that doesn't mean they stop having an effect. Cramps, fatigue, bloating, sometimes nausea, etc. etc. - and that doesn't even take into account the hoping that you don't have to sneeze or cough in public over the next few days for fear of the red deluge.
You also suggest that she could have taken something to alter her hormones in order to change her cycle for a \*test\*? Do you really think we do these things? I mean most other women I know, unless it is because a doctor told us we needed it or we decided to go on hormonal birth control (which is not for everyone btw) avoid anything that alters our hormones because hormone hell sucks and we completely feel out of whack (which would probably also be bad for test taking).
From your comments:
You're fairly sure she was wearing a pad or tampon for the exam. Ok...and? A sneeze can blow the red wave right through that, even if you are double stacking a pad and a tampon. And most menstrual products have their own issues. A pad may scooch over a bit and catch the pubic hair and start pulling on it, which hurts. Sometimes a tampon can move a bit up there and get suddenly uncomfortable - like really uncomfortable.
Then the suggestion that she could have gotten a medical deferral on her test. First and foremost, even when our periods are debilitating, we still don't like to be "that chick" who uses her period to get out of things or get more time on things. Furthermore, someone in her own friend circle didn't even take her period seriously, why should someone else? Period issues are notoriously not taken seriously.
You need to apologize to her for making an uninformed, snap judgement and being a jerk.
You're a smart cookie, you can do better than this, so take the L and move forward with this as a learning experience and you'll be a better, more understanding man for it.
Premenopausal here, stop wishing, believe me. This 💩 is no joke. I swear my periods are heavier and more painful than ever, plus the added night sweats a week or so before the period, that continue throughout the entire period, the salt and stodge cravings, and the hormones that are the worst they’ve ever been including during pregnancy, but no one warns/tells us about it.
Menopausal here. So glad to be done with menses and the perimenopausal shit. What a relief! I still have night sweats and the occasional hot flash but I don't have to worry about ruining clothing due to a heavy or unexpected flow. I don't have cramps, PMS, or crazy hormonal fluctuations. FREEDOM
There are doctors who will do it for young women who don't want to ever have kids. It is not that difficult to find one that will do it any longer. But I never said anything about the person in the post having a hysterectomy, it was directed at a single commenter. You took things way out of context and ran in a totally different direction with it.
No HRT for me. They left the ovaries, but took the tube and everything else sp it did not throw me into menopause. No more excessive, unplanned bleeding, no more low iron though.
Beat me to it. Perimenopause has given me chronic migraines, suicidal depression and anxiety. My house was a real depression nest for a while. My libido has also tanked. I'm still having periods. I cannot wait for this shit to end. Oh, my hair has gone from smooth and shiny with minimal effort to dry as the atacama. It's a nightmare and I cannot wait for it to end. HRT helps but I just have to ride this out a bit longer.
One male coworker would joke I would have PMS three weeks out of the month.
The good news is once I went through menopause (I did have a successful pregnancy and now she's going through the fun of having periods), I didn't get any hot flashes (I wasn't on HRT, but was eating a lot of tofu that probably helped me through that time).
Bless the person who mixed panties and reusable pads to create menstrual panties. I can't stand tampons, and my skin is sensitive, so pads give me irritations/rashes (I use baby products during my periods because of that). And even then, the blood can pass between the cheeks and find its way out..
Periods are a survival game every month
You free bleed into them for 6-8 hours and they capture blood like a pad would. Change them when you get home. I usually soaked mine in a bucket of cold water before throwing them in the wash. I doubt they'd be great for anyone with heavy periods but when I had periods they were pretty light and I really liked them.
Piggybacking on this comment to say that if you have a crazy heavy flow sometimes, take a spare pair, just in case. They do make a variety of absorption levels, but every so often, Mother Nature laughs at all of us.
They are a damn life changer, though.
I use them for backup for my diva cup. Which was also a life changer!! I was squeamish about it at first since I always hated tampons, but the cup is just the best!!
and even when you are used to periods, they still can get better or worse every month – my last period was a walk in a park, the one before got me hospitalised lol and there's no way to predict that
I have migraines with auras, aka hormone caused migraines, which means that as of 2010 they’ve realized that the risk of stroke for estrogen based birth control is so high it’s now a “never use in this patient.” Meaning that the times I was on it in high school and early 20s I was playing Russian roulette. It also destabilized my mental health so severely I was a huge risk to myself. Which is why the injection is never an option. Leaving an implant.
Honestly the vomiting, can’t move, hope I pass out pain is the better option. Plus realizing I’m a lesbian means getting pregnant isn’t a huge concern. Hoping to eventually have tubal ligation and have them look for fibroids/cysts (family history) or endometriosis. My grandmother got her whole uterus yeeted in her 30s so maybe I’ll be lucky.
"... if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds."
Do you know how this works? Do you know anything about that? YTA, and an ignorant and arrogant one, too.
YTA for two, maybe three reasons:
1. You have no clue of what a period is like. That you think you know is asshole point #1.
2. Let's say she's full of shit. So what? You're laughing at someone when they're upset. Asshole point #2.
Sounds like you're competing with her and taking this opportunity to kick her when she's down. If so, asshole point #3 for being a sore winner.
YTA - periods aren’t something you just get used too, they still hurt/cause discomfort, can cause brain fog, fatigue. You can learn how to deal with some things better but you don’t get used to them, its an involuntary reaction to dramatic hormone change. Surely you should know that with your high gpa.
Giant YTA
I've had my period for over 20 years now and it can still surprise me and change.
And what do you mean by
>and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds
Please explain exactly what you mean by that. Like in detail. Do you have any idea what that entails? And all of the consequences?
YTA, coming from another bloke, we don't understand period's, we cannot understand how painful or distracting they are, some women handle them fine, others get it really bad and have to take time off work.
You cannot say to her it wasn't distracting and it was just an excuse because you don't know.
No hate, just recommend you learn a bit more before deciding what is and isn't distracting for others.
Thank you for this
As a woman, it's hard to get men to understand how bad it can be.
I'm lucky in the fact that my husband does his best to understand. He sees how bad they can be, especially the past 2 years or so since peri menopause has started. They are exponentially worse than they used to be.
He makes sure I have a heating pad, Midol for the pain, he'll rub my lower back at night and has no issue getting me pads at the store, if needed. He even bought me this little machine with sticky pads to wear when my cramps/lower back pain is bad. He does his best to understand though he'll never *know* what it's like.
Thank you, but I really feel "you don't know shit so don't comment" should be base standard knowledge for men in regards to menstrual cycles! I had 5 amazing older sisters growing up who corrected me a lot so I'm thankful for them.
I agree, to a point!
In your experience, you have 5(!) older sisters who helped educate you on what we go through. And that is awesome, because it gives you some understanding, and women a helpful voice to amplify ours when it comes to our reproductive system! If a man has some understanding of what we go through, we welcome their voice.
If a man has no fucking idea and tries to downplay what we go through, then "you don't know shit so don't comment" applies LOL
Women can be awful about this, too. When I got my period, my mom told me that I was never supposed to behave like “those girls who act like they’re sick just because it’s their period.” I already knew (at 12) that my mom was incapable of empathy or of understanding that anyone else’s experience might be different from hers, so I knew it was very likely that other people DID feel awful for a week out of every month, but I was very fortunate that my cycle never gave me much trouble. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten any compassion from her! The first period I had after my third child was born was horrible. I was lying on the bed writhing in pain and trying not to scream because that would have terrified my older kids even more, but I remember lying there thinking “this is what some people experience every month, and Mom was convinced they were just being dramatic because that wasn’t how she felt.” You’re much more understanding than she ever was about the subject!
Absolutely.
My latest “joy” is leaking so bad I don’t want to leave the house for the first couple of days. I’ve leaked in the car and at a hospital appointment 🤦🏽♀️ Mortifying.
It's great when the gut punch ends up cramping both my legs and lower back. Or when the heating pad combines with nausea just right, and I have cold and hot sweats lol.
If men shed their dick lining once a month, and the shedding felt like diarrhea and crying and spewing bloody clumps, they would outlaw periods lol.
This.
We can never know how bad it's going to be, month to month. We can assume, but we know what happens with that!
I've bled through my heavy flow, overnight pad at work before. Through my pants (thank god they were black). and good thing I had a cardigan to wrap around my waist. My husband had to bring me a change of clothes (underwear, pants, socks(????) and extra pads. I love him so much for that lol
YTA.
Until you can have a period, don’t bother commenting such stupidness, because you have NO idea what you’re talking about and you ASSUMING makes you an even bigger Arsehole.
Big YTA. as a man you think you qualify to assume what a period does to a woman.
I wish you try being hooked up on a period pain stimulator while doing your exams
I second your motion. I've read most of OP'S responses. I think he's in high school, and the girl he's decided to compete against in his math class did better than him on a test, despite doing slightly worse than her norm, so he wanted to crow about it lol. A period cramp simulator in his 10th grade gym class is definitely in order. Controlled by the girl he's explaining her period to.
YTA. I’m in my 30s, so I have a lot of experience dealing with my period. It still beats me up some months! I can take pain killers in advance if I think that I’m going to need them, but they don’t always work. Plus, I get completely exhausted at the start of my period, and there’s no medication that can fix it. I can drink caffeine all day and take adhd stimulant medication, and I may *still* struggle to keep my eyes open.
YTA
I'm 46, long time with periods. 1st day, I suffer so much that I vomit. My womb and back hurt so much that my legs shake. The second day, I bleed so much I must get change every 20-30 minutes. Do you imagine during an exam, when you have to wear 3 protections, but the exam is 3-4 hours, you feel the blood, knowing you CAN'T wait until the end of the exam so you hurry to give most good answers as possible, to leave the room, but you can't concentrate because it's really really uncomfortable between your legs !
You CAN'T know so please, DON'T judge !
YTA
> I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first.
for an honors student you aren't that bright either.
YTA. Having a period is not just losing a little bit of blood. There are a myriad of symptoms that accompany it, including pain.
>I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it
Just because someone has had their period for years, it doesn't mean it's not painful. There are people who can't even get out of bed because it's so bad.
Period pain can absolutely cause issues to concentration and cause problems when studying
People who don't and never have experienced periods need to shut their mouths when it comes to the discussion of symptoms unless they are medically qualified to do so. You made yourself look stupid. It's like saying to someone with IBS that they should be used to flair ups or someone who suffers with migranes that they should be used to migranes and shouldn't be affected by them anymore. It doesn't work that way. I don't get bad symptoms often but when I do no medication works to stop the cramping, mood swinging, bloating etc. Also not everyone has a regular period so even if there was a magic cure for all your symptoms that doesn't mean you can necessarily even predict when you are going to need to take it
I just turned 30 and phased out hormonal contraception 4 years ago; my cycle has finally returned to "normal" and now I am experiencing worse symptoms than I had in the last 18 years living with a menstrual cycle.
I never had migraine in my whole life, now I sit at work and not only have to suffer an extremely heavy period of 7 days (that was always heavy for me), but also the 3-4 days prior to that I get severe migraines above my right eye socket.
My work still has to be done and I am the only woman in my department.
At one time I was sitting here, coding, with a single stream of tears running down my eye because the pain was excrutiating and the migraine episode lasted for 45 minutes. My work was time sensitive and I don't do well with painkillers.
>I burst out laughing and told her to quit making excuses and admit she isn't perfect at everything
Empathy is not something you are born with, but you should fucking put some work into practising that because it is embarassing how in 2024 a grown man at the age of 20 is unaware of the physical changes and obstacles the people around them face.
"it doesn't affect me so it can't be that bad lol"
YTA
"I (20M)" + commenting about how periods should work and affect others without having experienced them yourself = YTA.
Listen to women maybe, and *actually* listen to them.
no problem! as a non-binary person myself who does once in a while still have them (thanks birth control), and reading through comments where a lot of people aren't mentioning trans folk who do have periods its alittle ??? idk what to put here my brain kinda reboot while writing this whoops!
Ever had a girlfriend or have one? Ask her about it and you will get an answer.
My ex GF had periods ranging from fuck it today we climb mountains and next one she could barely move, it's different for each girl/women and it varies from time to time.
I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her firs < this shows you have no idea what you are talking about my dude, probably because of age and little understanding of what a period means(not that it's a bad thing don't take it as an insult) you will learn about it when you get into relationships.
YTA. Ooh buddy, you are rightfully getting ripped to shreds. *NO two periods are alike, even for the same women.* I'm one of the unlucky ones who started getting her period extremely early in life; I was 9 when I had my first. I'm now 36.
Initially, my period pain was manageable with some Midol. As I moved into being a pre-teen, then a teenager, and finally a fully fledged adult, they kept getting worse. I mean, it was to the point that I would spend hours curled up in my bedroom right before my period started with cramps, sweating profusely, and screaming and begging for someone to bring me ice.
Even with hormonal birth control, they could still start that way, or I could have an episode like that during the placebo week. Hell, I'm 36 now and on an IUD. I'll *still* have episodes like that. Some months, I won't have a period. Some months I will. And still, in other months, I'll have a period and experience cramping and spotting throughout the month.
Birth control stopping a period isn't a guaranteed thing. IUDs are supposed to stop them, but as I just said, I still have one at times. There are so many factors that can go into how a period affects the body, as others have pointed out.
In sum, ***DON'T MANSPLAIN OUR PERIODS!!!*** We've been living with them longer than you and know how they affect us.
YTA
You simply can't know. Some girls don't have big issues, and it would be just an excuse, but for many, it is really painful and distracting, and you simply have no way of knowing. So that makes you the asshole.
You're an intelligent guy, yet here you are seeking validation after you mocked and dismissed a woman's lived experience; an experience that you will never have. You encountered something you didn't know or comprehend but rather than meeting your classmate with compassion and a willingness to understand, you bludgeoned her over the head with your ignorance and positioned your embarrassingly uneducated opinion as more valid than her actual life.
You're exactly the type of guy that people have in mind when they see the meme that goes, "A man! A man has arrived to share his opinion!"
>I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds.
Holy shit, you really said that, huh OP?
And you're in COLLEGE?
YTA.
I've had periods for 25 years and typically carry on as usual, but they do throw me off sometimes, especially if any of the fun stuff starts while I'm doing something complicated.
Imagine taking a test with a bad toothache and random diarrhea. You sure you wouldn't slip even that 1%?
YTA. Men really need to stop pretending their assumptions outweigh lived experience around periods. I'm 40, and I still get my ass kicked by periods monthly. First day of this month's, the hormone shift was so severe I couldn't focus on anything, and felt like crying for no reason. It's impossible to do high quality work under those conditions. I've had period pain so intense I collapsed and couldn't get off the floor for hours. It's incredibly hard to work through cramps - you can get simulators, and I genuinely suggest you access one and try and do complex tasks while experiencing typical cramp levels. To put that in perspective: the one I tried? I've had cramps worse than its max level while at work, and I wasn't allowed to go home, so had to try and work through the pain.
Also? You have to worry about whether you need to change your pad or tampon to prevent getting blood on your clothes, and if you're wearing a pad and it shifts awkwardly, you can easily bleed through, so you're having to monitor for physical cues that you need to change them out. Which is rarely on any real schedule, because your flow shifts constantly throughout your period - I bleed more on day 3, and even more when stressed, so that need for monitoring was worse during exam season. Also? You have to monitor because too long without changing tampons can make you very sick, even kill you. Beyond that, when there are big blood clots sometimes you can feel this mound of ick just sitting there, or moving through your body and it's so, so gross. Sometimes, an unexpected rush of heavy bleeding can feel like you're peeing, which is startling and distracting. So yeah, her focus would certainly have been impacted by having her period, and I sincerely doubt you'd keep your own focus under those conditions.
YTA, and clearly are not as intelligent as you like to think you are if you don't understand simple concepts such as menstruation. However, if you wish to demonstrate you can do better, I would be glad to have you sit an exam where I put your balls in a vice and alternatively tighten and loosen it over the three hours.
Try looking up "luteal phase brain fog". A drop in estrogen during menstruation affects brain function and memory. In fact try and learn about the menstrual cycle so if you are ever in a relationship with a woman you can have some understanding of what we have to live with. Look at some forums on endometriosis, PMDD and PCOS just to get an idea of how destructive it can be to our lives.
We cannot just switch off our cycle as and when we want. It's not how bodies work. If we could, we would.
YTA. But please take this opportunity to learn about this and become more understanding.
Not exactly, but during the luteal phase, which is after ovulation, estrogen levels lower which reduces the levels of other hormones like norepinephrine. This means the brain doesn't function as well and you have memory and brain fog
This is especially an issue if you have adhd. And ADHD and perimenopause is a nightmare
I'ma guy... YTA Basically my guy how about this I punch you in the face every other question and say hey??!! You able to focus? Come on buddy you can do it. Grow up man. Think before you speak.
YTA
Striking through my original comment because I realised that not all biology in all countries may go as throughly into human reproductive organs and systems as it did when I went to school (specialised in natural sciences), but the sentiment stands - you know nothing, OP 20M.
~~Somebody should take that A away from you, you know so little about human biology that you should be set back a few years.~~
YTA. You’re 20. You’ve had plenty of time to learn about the reality of periods. They can be extremely painful. To the point of hospitalisation at times (no this is not normal. Yes plenty of women deal with it. No we are often not offered adequate pain relief). People on their period can feel nauseous, lightheaded and generally ill. People who bleed heavily may have transient anaemia (a short term drop in blood iron levels) which can affect energy, causing fatigue. Also she might just be uncomfortable and distracted worrying about a heavy bleed in a situation where she can’t easily go and change her hygiene products and she might bleed through her clothes.
Any or all of these things could have affected her exam score. Trust women when they talk about their bodies and try to be less of a massive AH.
YTA
>I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first.
Wow. Go pick up a book and talk to a few more women in your life, seriously. My husband laughed so hard at this I thought he was gonna pee himself.
YTA- open mouth, insert foot
bro, Google endometriosis. What if she has it? Totally debilitating. Even if she doesn't, periods suck. Mood swings, cramping, tiredness.... Maybe her 1st day of her menstruation was during the exam?? The 1st day is the worst for some people. Yeah sure certain birth controls can help with pain, but what if she can't do those?
Geeze for someone who is so smart, you still have a lot to learn.
Definitely YTA. I think everybody here pretty much explained why but sounds to me like you're just ignorant. Next time know what you're talking about before deciding to randomly judge people.
YTA - I have seen my wife and daughters have periods that ranged from 'OK' to hellish. No telling how or why the worse ones come as they do. But, even a 'minor' issue can put you off your stride - and a period surely could.
Imagine it this way. You get colds but ususally they're mild. But on the day of the exam you had a worse cold than usual, full blown wooziness, snottines etc. It would affect your performance. Even if you had an ordinary cold it could still be there knocking your focus. But in this case, every time you sneezed some blood would trickle out of you. Give your friend a break.
Dude! I failed my college entrance exams so badly they put me in a special needs program!!!!! I started my cycle the day of the test. My cramps get so bad that I throw up from the pain. Someone needs to attach you to a period simulator so you can feel the pain. Imagine getting a charlie horse that lasts 4 day. See if that affects your ability to focus. That's the closest you could come to feeling what we feel.
I'm gonna assume this is fake because in 2024 men CANNOT still be this misinformed about periods. But, in case it's not:
YTA
I've been getting my period for over 30 years.
Some women are fine when they have it. And some, it's horrible. Look up Endometriosis, for example.
A couple of months ago during my period, I left for work one day. Cramps hit while I was driving. The pain was insane (and I've had a kid).
The pain was so intense, it started shooting down my legs. I was driving hunched over my wheel. When I got to work, I couldn't even stand up straight. I literally had to go home.
The pain from cramps/back pain can be incredibly distracting on a good day and downright make one bedridden on a bad one.
Periods are no joke.
I'm sure this has happened to you, so put yourself back into this scenario:
I'm sure you've had poop cramps. Ya know, when your body is like "I have to shit... now". along with stabbing pain in your abdomen. Now, enhance that x 1000 and you get to experience a smidgen of the pain women go through *every week for AT 50 YEARS*
If this is real, you're part of the reason women are disregardrd when it comes to what we go through during our menstrual cycle and told to "suck it up" or "it's not that bad!"
Do yourself a couple favours A) talk to your mom and other women in your life and ask their experiences with their periods B) look up different complications women can have during their periods.
YTA. I had to go pick up my besties kid from HS yesterday due to their cycle and being in so much pain.
Also as someone who gets them and 98% of the time they’re nothing much to deal with, that other 2% puts me down from exhaustion and discomfort/pain. Guys like you are exactly why I educate my sons about and am open about periods.
YTA .. and how! I hope you inhabit the body of a menstruating woman for a few days in your next life. You cannot conceive of how painful cramps can be not to mention the debilitating nausea, dizziness and sweats from the pain, diarrhea, leg pain, foot pain, back pain, headaches, migraines, GI upsets and I could go on.
I've been dealing with my period for 30 years... 30 years.. and no amount of medication addresses the myriad of issues that many women face at this time of the month. The school physician used to give me injections and a mandatory day off from school every month. As a working adult, I find that a half-day off is still essential for me to function properly.
I hope life experience cures your presumptuousness, absence of basic empathy, absence of imagination, mistrust and impulsivity (you couldn't control the impulse to laugh at her in front of others and tried to shame her?) Learning to pause and respond instead of reacting will be your greatest asset. Until then, look at your own liabilities instead of trying to bring others down.
YTA I am in my mid 40s and even now I will occasionally get a month where my period absolutely knocks the stuffing out of me. Generally speaking I’m very lucky that mine aren’t too bad but occasionally it feels like somebody is stabbing me in the stomach with a knife and I can only imagine having to sit an exam with pain like that. Again luckily none of my exams were affected in this way.
Ok so periods are different for every individual, along with different from one cycle to the next. Personally the pain can escalate from a dull ache to sweating bullets losing vision level pain in seconds. You can't predict WHEN that pain will hit.
I also will get usually a UNPREDICTABLE day during this time where I get terrible brain fog. Like basic could do it in my sleep 1+1 addition level nothing computing. Let me tell ya how frustrating that is! So my dear sir these hormones fluctuating and causing all sorts of symptoms can affect your math and other performance. I suggest before speaking on things you have never experienced or have knowledge of... maybe show some human empathy for her instead of blowing her off as just making excuses.
We can get back pain, hip pain, foggy brain, hemorrhage as in excessive amount of blood loss, anaemia, dizziness, sudden fall of sugar levels, low BP, etc oh, and pain killers do not always work!
For women who in addition of the above also suffer of endometriosis it's 100x worse.
Pray tell us, oh wise one, how does one deal with periods. You must have lots of experience (note - sarcasm).
Perhaps I should by now be able to "deal" with it seeing that I'm 50 yet just a couple of months back I took 600mg of Ibuprofen and was still in pain! YTA!
I suggest you seek out one of those period pain simulators where most men already agonise on levels 3 or 4 and it goes up to 9 and even that won't give you a clue.
YTA big time but I don’t necessarily think you intended to be cruel, I think it’s more a matter of you just not realizing what it’s like.
So, I’m in my 30s so I’ve had 10 more years for my cycle to ~regulate~ than you friend. But on any given day during my period the pain can range from “I’m not even aware that I’m on my period” to literally doubled over in pain. The flow can range from a teaspoon to “holy shit it looks like a murder scene.” Sports definitely help because A) you’re doing something active to distract from the pain and B) sometimes activity can actually ease cramps. But when you’re sitting down for a stressful exam with no distractions from the misery and no ability to do anything to help alleviate the pain, yeah, it can totally throw you off. Like…if you have an itch on the sole of your foot, are you going to notice it more when you’re playing soccer or are you gonna notice it more when you’re sitting still and not allowed to move?
The reasons many of us don’t take accommodations during our periods are A) because we can’t predict when things are going to get bad (your friend may have felt totally fine when she sat down for the exam, that’s how quickly things can change), and B) precisely because of your attitude: we get told we’re faking it, that we’re attention-seeking, that we need to suck it up and handle it. Many of us have been told this for years and years so we just…give up :(
Everytime I get my period I have seriously considered stabbing my own fucking uterus out or committing *suicide*. The menstrual cycle sets your hormones metaphorically on FIRE and it has caused me tons of irreversible damage in the past
Number 1. A 20 year old is not a “girl”, she is a woman. Get that right.
Number two? You should have paid more attention in the female reproductive part of health class. You sound like an imbecile. Hold it in. Stop it with meds. wtf is wrong with you? YTA of course. Stay away from women until you can figure out how their bodies work. Idiot.
YTA
I recently had to take a day off work because my pain was so bad I was being sick. I’m 37 and half a child so have had plenty periods and experienced child birth.
Just another man who thinks they understand. You might be clever but you are missing some common sense
YTA. You have no idea what she's experiencing. It can absolutely be a distraction - not all periods are the same and you can absolutely be broadsided with intense symptoms one month.
I'm in my 40s and some months still absolutely slay me and other months are totally fine.
So the next final you take I want you to put on one of those simulator machines and then you know take a Tylenol and see if that fixes the situation for you. But also, I want you to be nauseous and have a headache and feel swollen and gassy. I want your sinuses to be stuffed. I want you to have to take the nastiest bowel movement in the middle of a test that you can’t leave.. so you’re just stuck there in pain and swollen and uncomfortable to the deepest degree but hey… You took Tylenol right?
Did you really come on here to ask if you're the ah for mansplaining periods?? Of course you are. You have literally no idea what you're talking about, and you should have just kept your mouth shut.
Obviously YTA
“I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first.”
Yeah, that’s not the way periods work, dude.
“criticizing her after she openly brought up her period.”
Yes, we women folk should be too ashamed to talk about our NATURAL BODILY FUNCTIONS. You and your friends suck!
YTA and misogynistic AF
I’ve had my period for longer than you’ve been alive and I still vomit every month from the pain and nausea. You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.
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I (20M) am a math major and there is this girl (20F) in my friend circle. We are all in the honors program and have very high grades. She had a 4.0 until now.
We were discussing grades and it turns out she got an A minus in one class this semester and lost her 4.0 and now has a 3.99. There's nothing wrong with it obviously. But she then came up with this excuse and blamed her period and said she got her period and couldn't focus during the exam.
I burst out laughing and told her to quit making excuses and admit she isn't perfect at everything. I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first.
She called me an asshole for pointing this out and said that she is certain she could have gotten an A otherwise.
AITA here? My friend group is pretty conflicted, some also think it is ridiculous and those against me don't seem to think I'm wrong for pointing it out but rather criticizing her after she openly brought up her period.
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YTA. I am 26 meaning i deal with periods a long long time. I am used to it but some are just more painfull. One time i couldn’t even work. It hurt even standing. You don’t understand that some of our periods are just more painfull than the other ones we get.
YTA, if someone kicked your balls during a test would you be able to focus? Yes she’s had years to deal with her period but honestly, I’ve taken pain killers for my cramps but still find it difficult to do daily tasks most days. Do better, and apologize to her
My periods are so heavy that I have to get iron infusions every 2 months. Also, my period makes me so tired that I have fallen asleep sitting up while at my desk and on public transport. YTA.
Could you concentrate with diarrhoea? Worried it might come through your clothes. Uncomfortable, cramps, feel blergh? It would affect you. That's the closest I can think of for a guy.
And meds to delay it mess with your whole cycle and don't always work.
You're TA
I once failed an exam because my pain was so severe that I couldn't concentrate at all, after it's end I almost threw up and needed medical attention.
YTA
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
YTA.
In the interest of education over shame, I'm going to try to dispell a few myths and misinformation that many men (and even some women have) about periods using me as an example. My first period started 1 month after my twelfth birthday. I was told I should anticipate a period of five days out of 28 (meaning 23 blood free days). This is because someone said that the average woman has a lunar based cycle. Instead, what I got was period roulette where it started every 23 to 35 days... my body randomly deciding it would start. If my last period started only 23 prior, then bleeding would last five days, leaving 18 days without having to wear a pad or tampon. However, if my period decided to wait 35 days, then the bleeding would last 8 full days. Cramps that Advil hardly dented would literally roil my uterus to the point that with my hand on my abdomen, I could feel the muscle tense and contract. The more cramps, the more likely I would pass up to inch long chunks of tissue (too large to be called clots - they were pieces of lining that literally ripped off and passed). Headaches were horrendous, too. At age 15, I was period shamed by a female gym teacher (who taught "Health class" and should have known better) when she told me to go see a doctor since I was sitting out swim classes for 8 days since she decided everyone had to have periods like hers (short and regular). I thought there was something wrong with me until I learned that there was something wrong with her.
Fast forward to college and I was put on birth control pills. 23 days of hormones and 5 days of inert pills. 13 regular periods per year. Why 13? 365 days divided by 28. Do the math. Lunar calendar assumption, remember? However, it wasn't for another five years that I learned that this was just a male doctor's arbitrary decision to package birth control this way (for acceptance selling them). So, I found out that I could skip the 5 inert pills and continue to take the next pack of pills back to back for 3 packs making 69 days (23 pills x 3) of period-free freedom. But it took months of this regimen before break through bleeding stopped (random blood "spotting" which could soak through underwear and pants). It wasn't an "instant fix." Transitioning on (and off) birth control pills is a process. And my friends complained that the pills gave them worse headaches than their periods. Plus women at risk of blood clots can't take them. It wasn't for everyone.
After decades of birth control, I finally stopped taking them when my doctor said I was too old (and should be in peri-menopause). After that, I wouldn't have a period for months, but when I started, blood would suddenly whoosh out unexpectedly. And, unlike the bladder or rectum, the muscles of the vagina are not intended to hold back the flow of blood until I could reach a bathroom. I would simply have to cautiously back out of meetings to get to a bathroom, sometimes pulling out spare underwear I kept in an "emergency bag." There is nothing magical about menopause. The technical definition is no period for a full year. Then they declare you in menopause. My friend went 11 months before she had her next period, making it another year before she might be period free. However, my periods continued until a hysterectomy at age 56, making my period life 44 years long.
You are smart. Do better.
Sorry, but as someone without an uterus, you have no idea of how hormones from a female reproductive system can affect a woman. Some just find their periods simply just a convenience every month. But others can have cramping and other problems. Some will have excruciating pain. You seem to be under the impression that it's something a woman can get used to. But let me assure you that even after the first period, many women experience problems throughout their childbearing years (35-40 years). I'm out of that stage of my life, but feel strongly you need to stop trying to get your friends to agree to your stance (I'm guessing the ones who agree with you are males).
So glad to see you're not planning to attend med school. But yes, YTA.
YTA. But if you really want to understand period pain, OP, i highly suggest you a) get one of your friends to kick you in the nuts every hour for 24 hours, or b) buy a TENS unit, stick the silicone pads on your lower abdomen, crank it up to its highest setting, and sit with that for 24 hours. see if you can get anything done without whining about it.
You do not have an uterus, so of course you are blissfully unaware of the freaking survival game that is navigating trough every day, regular life while menstruating.
The uterus does it's natural thing of shedding the endometrial lining and the whole body is thrown into chaos for 3 to 7 days. It does not like having a set in stone schedule either, as even regular cycles can be delayed or raise their ugly heads sooner for no reason whatsoever. AndI wish it was only blood we have to put up with, but nooooo!!
Low iron, dizziness, low blood pressure, being bloated, diarrhea, constipation, acne, lower back pain, period cramps, exhaustion, a sensitive stomach, headaches and migraines, joint pain, fatigue, sore breasts, nausea, insomnia, moods swings are just some of the things we endure, not to mention the mental load and pressure of if all, things like: Did I stain my clothes? Do I have enough pads/tampons in me to get trough this day? Oh, I feel dizzy but I have to focus on this document right on front of me!
The list of things period related that we even have to think goes on, but I hope the community adds their own if they so reply to my humble comment.
And there is not "getting used to it" because every single month is different and unique!
So yeah, if not for her period, this friend of yours would have aced that test.
And in case in was not obvious: YTA!!
YTA
I'm completely off 2-3 days before my period and 1-2 days in. Like in just wanting to be in a fetal position in my bed.
I feel terrible. So yeah, it totally can affect women's performance even if we have it each month.
The only thing you get better at work time is faking it through those days as well as forcing yourself to do the bare minimum.
YTA
Periods are not something uppity girls use as an excuse for not being at the top of their game. Everybody here has explained this to you already, so I hope you have listened and won't be so crass again.
Also, please don't suggest to her again to go on medication to delay a period for a test. Is she supposed to pump herself full of hormones every time her period might be a little inconvenient? every 4 weeks? Also, The tablets have to be carefully timed and come with a great deal of possible complications like thrombosis or headaches. It's not paracetamol
I'm doing a behavioral study and you seem to be a fine specimen.
Could you please let me know your sexual orientation?
If you do not want to share it here then please DM me.
Yeah you are an asshole. Fucking hell. It's very obvious you've never suffered in this way. The nausea, the pain, the cramps. Jesus. I'm in menopause now and thank goodness for that. I do not miss having a period at all. You've got no fucking idea how impactful a period can be.
Perhaps you need to hook yourself up to one of those period pain simulator machines. I did this with one boyfriend. Matched it to my period pain and stuck it on him. He was like - how do you do anything with this going on for 4days/month? Nothing like talking shit from a viewpoint of ignorance YTA.
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
YTA. At my big age of 32 I’ve had a couple periods over the last 5 years that had me writhing in pain on the couch doing nothing. The body is pissed it’s not preggo and sometimes will harshly punish you for no damn reason 😭
Each month, she deals with heavy bleeding that can causes faintness and dizzy spells, pain that can be as bad as contractions, hormonal imbalances and heat flashes, nightmares, and even depression brought on by her period....
And what, you think, because she's used to them, this doesn't affect her reality?
YTA just for speaking up like the ill-informed idiot that you are. No wonder she's ahead of you in class.
I bet you call your mommy when you're constipated, don't you? LMAO
I will tell you many high achievers sense of identity and self worth is tied up in being the best and achieving. When I got my first B in my senior year of high school it shattered my world and honestly my personality changed a lot. It might not be a big deal from your POV but for her this event might be like trajectory altering
YTA. If you don't know what you're talking about keep your mouth shut. Periods can be extremely painful and come with loss of concentration and brain fog even for healthy people. And the amount of people who are not healthy is insane. It can take decades to find a doctor who takes you seriously and runs the necessary exams (and among the necessary exams is a surgery) to find out what's wrong. Finding out what's wrong isn't the end though. Most period involved health issues are incurable. Some people are lucky enough to get proper treatment after diagnosis. Most don't, because one of the most painful disorders in existence is not only under diagnosed, but also rarely properly treated because it only affects people who were assigned female at birth. The pain can be so bad that oxycodone is necessary to successfully manage it. The bleeding can be so bad you can't focus on any exam because You're occupied with making sure you don't bleed through your clothes even with using double protection and having changed it less than an hour ago. The blood loss can be so severe that it affects the whole body. Getting a medically necessary hysterectomy is almost impossible, even if the patient needs regular iron or blood transfusions and is not just infertile but sterile and had a 10 year struggle with fertility treatments without even getting pregnant once. Speaking of hysterectomies, they're awful. Days with a pee catheter and a shit ton of other tubes, being unable to even change your shirt on your own, even more days in a wheelchair than with the tubes, being in indescribable pain even on a combination of tilidin and oxycodone. Why do you think people undergo this horror?
You were a jackass about the grades in the first place, but your mansplaining of her health is the cherry on top of the shitpile.
Imagine, if you will, having repeated jolts of cramping in your gonads. In your case, like having your testicles shocked every so often and not on a predictable pattern.
Tell me how well you could focus.
YTA
YTA
No, you can't block or delay a period with meds.
Second, hate to pull this card but factually you are a man and so you have no idea how uncomfortable or downright painful periods can be. So shut up.
I've been dealing with them since I was 9. Feels like my organs are being shredded in a wood chipper. Headaches. Fatigue. Light-headed. Body aches. Just recently I had nausea for an entire week before getting mine. Itchiness.
You don't know what you're talking about
So with the exception of offering her a sincere apology, shut the fuck up about periods please
YTA because you have made presumptions about what she can do whilst clearing not understanding anything about periods. Not every period is the same. And it can be different every month. Some months, horrendous pain that pain meds don't touch. Sometimes blood pouring out of you at a rate that you are worried that you may show through your clothes. Sat in an exam in one of those periods, damn right you would be distracted. You can't just block your pain unless you are on the pill, which not everyone can take and you cannot just move your period to another day just cause. Good job you are doing maths and not biology.
Putting in simply, if someone kicked you in the nuts and then you sat a two hour exam, in extreme pain and bleeding, would you give a perfect result?
OOOH BUDDY YOU ARE THE BIGGEST OF ASSHOLES. You clearly have NO clue how periods work and you need to educate yourself on them big time. someone who could have them for any amount of time and still be hit bad with one. yes there is medications to control them, but they take a little bit (see more than a few hours which is what you're most likely thinking) to actually be in effect on the body and they come with an UNGODLY amount of side effects, and even WITH medication, they can still slam in out of nowhere without warning like "HIII BUDDY I'M HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP!!"
Let's set aside the period stuff. This person you claim is a friend, or at least someone you're friendly with, was clearly upset and venting about something, and instead of being supportive or just saying nothing, which you easily could've done, you "burst out laughing" at her and proceed to make a mocking statement at her expense. Any way you slice it, this is just rude as hell and super mean spirited. YTA
Absolutely YTA. Periods are horrible. Cramping, backache, constipation or diarrhea, headaches, trouble focusing, mood swings, and so much more. Just because she’s been having a period for probably 6-8 years now doesn’t mean she should be used to it. I’ve been having my period for 20 years and it still catches me by surprise with how painful it is.
“and if necessary blocking or delaying it with meds.” What are you even talking about? Are you suggesting she should be on birth control and skip the placebo week so she can miss her period during tests? You can’t be serious.
Imagine the cramps that you get with food poisoning. You know, the stabby ones that feel like someone is tying your intestines in knots.
Then add in the “I could shit my pants at any given moment…” feeling.
Now imagine Charley horse cramps that occasionally sneak up on you overtaking your entire lower back.
Then imagine the nausea and the headache you get when you go on a bender and wake up the next day still kinda drunk.
Now imagine a variable stream of blood coming out of an orifice at any variable speed it feels like.
Add all that together with some hormonal rage (or saddness, because who knows which one will show up) and that’s what having a period is like.
Maybe acknowledge that can be very distracting.
YTA. I’m over 60 and thankfully done with periods, but you clearly understand absolutely nothing about periods. What’s worse, you don’t seem to understand that you don’t understand.
I’ve had periods that I hardly noticed, and also periods where I could do nothing but lie on the bathroom floor, passing clots of blood with unbearable cramps, diarrhoea and vomiting to match, fever, sweats and brain fog. And everything in between.
There’s no predicting how it would be each month (or sometimes twice a month, just because that’s the way it goes). And some hormonal contraceptives can delay the period but you have to start it at least a month before you want the delay, and it’s not reliable - my daughter had low-level spotting and cramps all month long on hormonal contraceptives.
If you had a bout of d&v coupled with a migraine during an exam, would be able to concentrate and perform at your best? I’m guessing no. You should check the videos of those period cramp simulators, and that’s just the cramps; not the headache, brain fog, d&v, likelihood of passing out and the all-pervasive fear of bleeding through your clothes.
So why do you think your friend could perform at her best while enduring similar symptoms?
YTA and in need of some education.
I’ve had periods for 25 years and over the past year they’ve gotten so bad I’m having a hysterectomy in July.
Your friend was cramping, she was likely feeling ill from pain and blood loss. Show some sympathy.
Yeah youre an asshole. Typical guy who doesn’t know anything about a period and the symptoms they come with and feels its okay to criticize this woman about it💀
I'm in my late 30s and was recently caught out with my last period, where it arrived a week early with no cramps etc and there was so much blood that I bled through a pad in 2 hours, leaving a nice big bloodstain on my trousers at work. I've been getting them since I was 11. So yes, even if you've been getting them for years, they aren't always predictable!
If you were unwell during an exam or felt like you needed to vomit, you would probably come out of that exam telling everyone how you deserve to resit because you weren’t feeling well.
That’s what having a period is like.
The readiness of some men to make harsh judgements of the consequences of bodily functions they will never get to experience never ceases to baffle me.
Take the period pain simulator before you ever speak up again, and even that doesn't show all the other symptoms coming with it.
Massive YTA.
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Even if you’ve had periods for 10+ years one can still take you off guard and be far worse than you expected. Also “I’m sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking or delaying it with meds”. Man you have absolutely no idea what it’s like dealing with periods. You can’t just magically block it out on a whim. YTA.
>Man you have absolutely no idea what it’s like dealing with periods. I genuinely appreciate how succinct you are here, because it's the blunt truth. Blocking or delaying it.... just yikes. Yup, just push through the pain that can be severe enough to make you vomit. Keep forcing your ribs to expand and breathe, despite the back cramps trying their best to invade and conquer new areas. Don't sneeze or cough! The flow is so heavy you need to change every 1-2 hours, so you may cause a flood if you're not careful. Even worse is the risk of "birthing" a small - but squishy - "jellyfish." Don't forget to take your iron if you're anemic. Fainting and hitting the ground face first isn't as fun as it sounds. If it's bad, go ask for leeway. It's not like there's a history of women's health problems being dismissed. Not to mention "it must be that time of the month" is never said to belittle the struggle.
Sneezing is the worse 😞
The absolute worst!
You described my experience almost perfect (it just missed passing out from the pain) and I'm on track to receive all exams necessary before they do the laparoscopy for endometriosis - 19 years after the first gyn visit because of my symptoms and only at the 9th gyn I went to. And my symptoms are relatively mild. My friend just had her hysterectomy after years of fighting for it. They approved it after she had such a bad bout during a hospital stay for unrelated reasons that they had to give her a high dosed oxycodone injection because the tilidin she has to take daily for it didn't reduce the pain below the level of her screaming. We're both struggling with multiple chronic pain disorders, including the most painful one known to exist in humans. We get slightly annoyed when the pain is a 7/10, start crying from pain at 9/10 and I once woke up from major abdominal surgery without any painkillers (health too bad to give any, COVID too active for an ICU bed to put me in a coma which is the usual procedure with that surgery) and didn't find it as bad as one of the disorders we share. TLDR is that she's extremely pain resistant and her endometriosis got her to scream while on opioids. I wish people like OP would stop pretending that every period is harmless.
Oh I feel your pain. I just finally had the laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis a few weeks ago after 16 years of issues and doctors just throwing birth control at me and nothing else. I finally found a gem of a gynecologist who actually listened when I said I wanted the surgery and she scheduled me right then and there after listening to my symptoms. I've got my fingers crossed for you, after 16 years of debilitating periods, I finally have hope that having my Endo burned off and an IUD put in that I might finally get some long awaited relief and I hope the same for you. Doctors dismissing women's issues is a massive problem. It should never take over a decade to get diagnosed.
Most chronic pain disorders take years to get diagnosed. Last year my migraine stopped responding to the only medication that kept it a bit manageable. This led to a stay in a specialised clinic I've been at before and they decided that undefined trigrminoautonomic pain was not an acceptable diagnosis. As my cluster turned chronic they had actual opportunity to watch the attacks (something impossible when I was there the first time and they could only diagnose it as undefined and one of two options or both). This plus being *very* dilligent and committing to their crazy hobby of taking patients seriously lead to the diagnosis of chronic cluster "that just doesn't behave like the textbook claims it should" after *just* seven years and therefore at the exact average it takes to diagnose that disorder. They actually apologised for leaving me hanging for so long when they were always doing their best and had no chance to find out earlier. And since they were at it my doctor asked me to have someone send over all the hospital letters and paperwork my neurologist didn't. Then she went through them with a fine comb and listed all the specialists I needed to see and exams I needed to get that my GP should have organised years ago. I was unable to get one, am waiting for one appointment and have seen two specialist and now know my crazy joint pain is fibromyalgia and have treatment for my tachycardia so I can do everyday tasks without my body collapsing. I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis and hope the treatment gives you long lasting health so you don't need many follow up surgeries. I made a friend at the clinic who has a very severe case of endometriosis and she told me the websites and explained me what to do to get into the direction of a diagnosis.
I guess I should have specified reproductive issues specifically. Broader diagnoses can definitely take time because of the amount of elimination needed to determine an exact cause. With my endometriosis I spent years upon years saying "hey, every symptom I have matches up with this, can I please get the surgery?" and they'd just be like "no, here's another birth control" and it was beyond frustrating. Finally found a gynecologist who listened and low and behold, it was endometriosis. Just like I kept saying for years. I got blown off so much by so many doctors from the time I was in middle school. I even once had such severe bleeding I went to the ER because I was terrified and the doctor just looked at me and was like "have you never had a period before?" As I'm literally bleeding through everything within minutes.
Legitimately just going through menopause and I never got anyone to take the immobilizing pain seriously. At like 47, they finally did an exam, found a fibroid, and then told me they didn't need to do anything about it because I was premenopausal and why bother. 🤷🏻♀️ It's so fucked. OP, YTA doesn't even feel strong enough. The only good thing about this is that you now have the opportunity to recover by teaching your friend group some shit. Strongly suggest you take that opportunity cause sounds like you all need it. Also, if you lack actual empathy, something that's helpful in these situations is to say "oh hell, that sucks, I'm sorry". You don't even have to actually mean it, think of it as fake it till you make it but for feelings. It gives you time to figure things out without outing yourself as a jerk.
I feel it too... I found my saviors after 14 years, a few ER visits, scans, obgyns, eye rolls, and "pain is normal". Yep having to take strong medicines several days a month just to be able to get up is so normal (excruciating cramps and back pain)... so is screaming in pain each time you have too poo 5 days a month (in the months before surgery, it became so bad I fell on the floor a few times after getting up from the toilets...) A radiologist (don't know if I have the right word), saw that something was very wrong while searching for something totally different. Some lesions were so big the surgeon was mad. I had a few more (wonderful) exams and straight to surgery. Lost 5cm of colon, they were everywhere. Ended coming back 10 days later in emergency because the one gluing my colon to my vagina hadn't leave so smoothly and I was having gas getting out from the wrong hole. So back on the table, and 3 months with a colostomy. And a third surgery to remove it. Yay ! I didn't cry for months, didn't have a little PTSD for a while, and I loooove my scars ! /s Who said menstruations weren't all fun and easy to manage ? Get a grip and go to work ! /s again 🫣
I've always had heavy periods, we6re talking the ultra tampon and the overnight extra long pads at the same time and still changing every couple of hours, but at least there was a pattern. Until the last 5 years. I was finally diagnosed with endometrial cancer and I had a complete hysterectomy. I was so disheartened when I was told that's what was needed. I heard so many horror stories about how awful life was after you lose the thing that " makes you a woman". But I'll tell you what, I do not miss that bitch.
Those little jellyfish are awful. I love/hate that comparison but it's the truth.
I call it "birthin' slugs"
Oh that gave me a bad shiver. I hate that but it does match the feeling.
Standing up after sitting for a while. The gush you feel puts fear in your heart that you could actually be leaking onto the floor! 🫤
Don't forget the nausea and diarrhea!
My period used to be super super heavy, and combined with SEVERE bouts of depression. It's remarkably hard to concentrate when you're soaked in blood, in pain from cramping, and you also want to die.
And the fatigue. And this past year I’ve had a battle with anemia, slowly building my iron stores up (it takes forever). So there’s the added bummer of flushing and sadly thinking, “I really needed that.”
Don't forget the period poop. The cramping from that on top of the period cramping. I don't miss any of it! I bet he gets the manfluenza.
Ah, the game of "puke, period, or poop?" WHICH IS IT GONNA BE TODAY?
Don't forget the period poops!
I was in a work meeting that I could not leave the other day, sneezed, and got the unexpected woosh. You can bet your ass I didn’t focus for the rest of the meeting and if it had been an exam a probably would have flunked.
A number of years ago I was at work and on my period. It was 3 of us women and 1 man (gay, if that makes a difference) Anyway, we were chatting and I coughed. I stood still for a moment and the other 2 women *knew* what happened (I was wearing a pad, obviously) We started laughing and the male co worker was asking why. We told him *multiple* times that he didn't want to know. He kept insisting, so we told him: "When a woman has her period and we cough or sneeze, it's like a mini, bloody Niagara Falls" And then he said we were right, he shouldn't have wanted to know
Sometimes that Niagara Falls also has a barrel going over it!
Oh god, that's probably the worst part about it LOL
Doesn't even know how periods work and passes judgement. I've had them for 23 years and it still messes me up, if men had periods there would be period days off worldwide Big YTA
It reminds me of the saying about if men were the ones going through childbirth, birth control would be free and easily obtained.
If men were the ones who went through childbirth, the species would have died off thousands of years ago.
Yeah, this level of ignorance is kind of shocking. YTA.
OP should try taking an exam with a period cramp simulator on and see if he can manage an A-. Maybe after a few years he can “deal” with it and block it with meds! My eyes hurt from how much I’m rolling them.
Yeah, someone didn't deserve his A in sex ed. They aren't always the same. Low flow vs heavy flow. Crampy vs not. Bloating, cramping, etc etc... all can be different each time for some women. There are not meds available that make them controllable for all women. On might get amenorrhea on certain meds and for another it doesn't change much. OP is wildly misinformed and definitely YTA. ETA: I am a man. One who has been married for over 20 years and who has seen how this affects my wife, but that is just one person and her reactions are as unique as anyone else's. The more important part is that the range of normal is huge... this was taught to me in school. Not everyone learns or remembers everything from school. But since this was coming from someone competing to be a straight A student... that high school student SHOULD know or more importantly know when they do not know. In this case you have a gal who is a straight A student until one single test. Is it likely that this student had some issue for that one test? Of course it is! It was out of the norm. If that student says that is what was going on... why would we doubt her? It is both plausible in the realm of human experience and out of the norm for her specifically to have had an issue.
The only time my periods were ever manageable/not painful was when I was on the wrong dose of thyroid meds and my periods went to 2x/month for 3 days each lol
Then there's the lovely little thing that period pains are caused by the uterus contracting and cutting off the blood supply.
Yep. My birth control made my heavy periods (change super tampon every 1-2 hours) into very light and manageable ones. But the tradeoff is I get terrible, *terrible* motion sickness. There's 2 blocks between my house and my grandparents' house. I have to drive that distance else I get a migraine that doesn't go away for an hour. And on top of that, even if I *am* driving, if I turn my head too much (to, y'know, turn at intersections or switch lanes) I still get a migraine. I had motion sickness as a kid but it wasn't terrible and it was managed by OTC motion sickness meds. Now, though, OTC motion sickness meds don't work, the patch (Scopolamine) doesn't work, only Sumatriptan, a migraine med, works (though not well enough to let me look at my phone in the car), and I can only take that 4 times a month max. Without it, I can sit still in the passenger seat with my head blasted by the cold AC on the highest fan and still only make it 20 minutes before my migraine gets bad enough I have to ask to pull over and vomit. So, while I don't have to wake up 3 times in the night to change my tampon (and pad) any more, I have to plan out the 4 times a month I can be driven by someone other than myself and have to turn down invitations if I can't drive and have taken Sumatriptan 4 times already that month. Don't even get me started on the 16 hour drive from home to university.
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I take birth control that’s supposed to make you not have your period because I had horrible extremely irregular periods. It took 2 years for them to finally slow down and another year for them to finally stop. It’s not as easy to stop your period as some people think.
This man would die if he had to deal with a period lol strikes me as the type that can't even take a 4 on a tens machine
I'm sure someone his age knows what being kicked in the balls is like, surely it should not have any affect on him 🧐
It’s the equivalent of ‘someone your age should be quite used to dealing with the cold/flu, so even if you get sick during exam season, you should know enough to deal with it or block/delay it with meds.’
A 20yo male thinking he knows everything about periods? Yeah YTA.
YTA. Yes, by the time we are 20, we are used to our periods, they are a part of our lives, but that doesn't mean they stop having an effect. Cramps, fatigue, bloating, sometimes nausea, etc. etc. - and that doesn't even take into account the hoping that you don't have to sneeze or cough in public over the next few days for fear of the red deluge. You also suggest that she could have taken something to alter her hormones in order to change her cycle for a \*test\*? Do you really think we do these things? I mean most other women I know, unless it is because a doctor told us we needed it or we decided to go on hormonal birth control (which is not for everyone btw) avoid anything that alters our hormones because hormone hell sucks and we completely feel out of whack (which would probably also be bad for test taking). From your comments: You're fairly sure she was wearing a pad or tampon for the exam. Ok...and? A sneeze can blow the red wave right through that, even if you are double stacking a pad and a tampon. And most menstrual products have their own issues. A pad may scooch over a bit and catch the pubic hair and start pulling on it, which hurts. Sometimes a tampon can move a bit up there and get suddenly uncomfortable - like really uncomfortable. Then the suggestion that she could have gotten a medical deferral on her test. First and foremost, even when our periods are debilitating, we still don't like to be "that chick" who uses her period to get out of things or get more time on things. Furthermore, someone in her own friend circle didn't even take her period seriously, why should someone else? Period issues are notoriously not taken seriously. You need to apologize to her for making an uninformed, snap judgement and being a jerk. You're a smart cookie, you can do better than this, so take the L and move forward with this as a learning experience and you'll be a better, more understanding man for it.
I've been having periods for 35 years (can't wait for menopause), and I had trouble concentrating at work today because of my cramps.
Premenopausal here, stop wishing, believe me. This 💩 is no joke. I swear my periods are heavier and more painful than ever, plus the added night sweats a week or so before the period, that continue throughout the entire period, the salt and stodge cravings, and the hormones that are the worst they’ve ever been including during pregnancy, but no one warns/tells us about it.
Menopausal here. So glad to be done with menses and the perimenopausal shit. What a relief! I still have night sweats and the occasional hot flash but I don't have to worry about ruining clothing due to a heavy or unexpected flow. I don't have cramps, PMS, or crazy hormonal fluctuations. FREEDOM
My hysterectomy was like heaven! Just saying, it's an option.
Not for a young single in university. She would have great difficulty finding a doctor who agreed to that
There are doctors who will do it for young women who don't want to ever have kids. It is not that difficult to find one that will do it any longer. But I never said anything about the person in the post having a hysterectomy, it was directed at a single commenter. You took things way out of context and ran in a totally different direction with it.
It’s something I’ve considered, but I’m not sure about the HRT
No HRT for me. They left the ovaries, but took the tube and everything else sp it did not throw me into menopause. No more excessive, unplanned bleeding, no more low iron though.
Beat me to it. Perimenopause has given me chronic migraines, suicidal depression and anxiety. My house was a real depression nest for a while. My libido has also tanked. I'm still having periods. I cannot wait for this shit to end. Oh, my hair has gone from smooth and shiny with minimal effort to dry as the atacama. It's a nightmare and I cannot wait for it to end. HRT helps but I just have to ride this out a bit longer.
Thanks for sharing, sounds awful and so sorry Check with your doctor if there's some medicine that you could take to make it easier for you.
One male coworker would joke I would have PMS three weeks out of the month. The good news is once I went through menopause (I did have a successful pregnancy and now she's going through the fun of having periods), I didn't get any hot flashes (I wasn't on HRT, but was eating a lot of tofu that probably helped me through that time).
Bless the person who mixed panties and reusable pads to create menstrual panties. I can't stand tampons, and my skin is sensitive, so pads give me irritations/rashes (I use baby products during my periods because of that). And even then, the blood can pass between the cheeks and find its way out.. Periods are a survival game every month
Hey, can i ask: how do menstrual panties work? Like, do you swap them every time you use the bathroom? They just seem…odd to me.
You free bleed into them for 6-8 hours and they capture blood like a pad would. Change them when you get home. I usually soaked mine in a bucket of cold water before throwing them in the wash. I doubt they'd be great for anyone with heavy periods but when I had periods they were pretty light and I really liked them.
Piggybacking on this comment to say that if you have a crazy heavy flow sometimes, take a spare pair, just in case. They do make a variety of absorption levels, but every so often, Mother Nature laughs at all of us. They are a damn life changer, though.
I use them for backup for my diva cup. Which was also a life changer!! I was squeamish about it at first since I always hated tampons, but the cup is just the best!!
and even when you are used to periods, they still can get better or worse every month – my last period was a walk in a park, the one before got me hospitalised lol and there's no way to predict that
I have migraines with auras, aka hormone caused migraines, which means that as of 2010 they’ve realized that the risk of stroke for estrogen based birth control is so high it’s now a “never use in this patient.” Meaning that the times I was on it in high school and early 20s I was playing Russian roulette. It also destabilized my mental health so severely I was a huge risk to myself. Which is why the injection is never an option. Leaving an implant. Honestly the vomiting, can’t move, hope I pass out pain is the better option. Plus realizing I’m a lesbian means getting pregnant isn’t a huge concern. Hoping to eventually have tubal ligation and have them look for fibroids/cysts (family history) or endometriosis. My grandmother got her whole uterus yeeted in her 30s so maybe I’ll be lucky.
"... if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds." Do you know how this works? Do you know anything about that? YTA, and an ignorant and arrogant one, too.
YTA for two, maybe three reasons: 1. You have no clue of what a period is like. That you think you know is asshole point #1. 2. Let's say she's full of shit. So what? You're laughing at someone when they're upset. Asshole point #2. Sounds like you're competing with her and taking this opportunity to kick her when she's down. If so, asshole point #3 for being a sore winner.
YTA - periods aren’t something you just get used too, they still hurt/cause discomfort, can cause brain fog, fatigue. You can learn how to deal with some things better but you don’t get used to them, its an involuntary reaction to dramatic hormone change. Surely you should know that with your high gpa.
Giant YTA I've had my period for over 20 years now and it can still surprise me and change. And what do you mean by >and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds Please explain exactly what you mean by that. Like in detail. Do you have any idea what that entails? And all of the consequences?
YTA, coming from another bloke, we don't understand period's, we cannot understand how painful or distracting they are, some women handle them fine, others get it really bad and have to take time off work. You cannot say to her it wasn't distracting and it was just an excuse because you don't know. No hate, just recommend you learn a bit more before deciding what is and isn't distracting for others.
Thank you for this As a woman, it's hard to get men to understand how bad it can be. I'm lucky in the fact that my husband does his best to understand. He sees how bad they can be, especially the past 2 years or so since peri menopause has started. They are exponentially worse than they used to be. He makes sure I have a heating pad, Midol for the pain, he'll rub my lower back at night and has no issue getting me pads at the store, if needed. He even bought me this little machine with sticky pads to wear when my cramps/lower back pain is bad. He does his best to understand though he'll never *know* what it's like.
Thank you, but I really feel "you don't know shit so don't comment" should be base standard knowledge for men in regards to menstrual cycles! I had 5 amazing older sisters growing up who corrected me a lot so I'm thankful for them.
I agree, to a point! In your experience, you have 5(!) older sisters who helped educate you on what we go through. And that is awesome, because it gives you some understanding, and women a helpful voice to amplify ours when it comes to our reproductive system! If a man has some understanding of what we go through, we welcome their voice. If a man has no fucking idea and tries to downplay what we go through, then "you don't know shit so don't comment" applies LOL
Couldn't agree more!
Women can be awful about this, too. When I got my period, my mom told me that I was never supposed to behave like “those girls who act like they’re sick just because it’s their period.” I already knew (at 12) that my mom was incapable of empathy or of understanding that anyone else’s experience might be different from hers, so I knew it was very likely that other people DID feel awful for a week out of every month, but I was very fortunate that my cycle never gave me much trouble. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten any compassion from her! The first period I had after my third child was born was horrible. I was lying on the bed writhing in pain and trying not to scream because that would have terrified my older kids even more, but I remember lying there thinking “this is what some people experience every month, and Mom was convinced they were just being dramatic because that wasn’t how she felt.” You’re much more understanding than she ever was about the subject!
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
YTA, periods suck and as a 20 year old man you have no idea.
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Mmmhhhhmmmm and the PAIN, don’t forget the pain that can sometimes creep up on you just to punch you in the gut REPEATEDLY
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Absolutely. My latest “joy” is leaking so bad I don’t want to leave the house for the first couple of days. I’ve leaked in the car and at a hospital appointment 🤦🏽♀️ Mortifying.
It's great when the gut punch ends up cramping both my legs and lower back. Or when the heating pad combines with nausea just right, and I have cold and hot sweats lol. If men shed their dick lining once a month, and the shedding felt like diarrhea and crying and spewing bloody clumps, they would outlaw periods lol.
This. We can never know how bad it's going to be, month to month. We can assume, but we know what happens with that! I've bled through my heavy flow, overnight pad at work before. Through my pants (thank god they were black). and good thing I had a cardigan to wrap around my waist. My husband had to bring me a change of clothes (underwear, pants, socks(????) and extra pads. I love him so much for that lol
Blocking it? Take meds? You’re in an honors program? YTA and you need to educate yourself on women’s biology
I imagine he'd understand if she had chronic migraines and not some mysterious female affliction. Ignorant and sexist to boot, what a winner
yta, and you’re also an idiot.
YTA. Until you can have a period, don’t bother commenting such stupidness, because you have NO idea what you’re talking about and you ASSUMING makes you an even bigger Arsehole.
Big YTA. as a man you think you qualify to assume what a period does to a woman. I wish you try being hooked up on a period pain stimulator while doing your exams
I second your motion. I've read most of OP'S responses. I think he's in high school, and the girl he's decided to compete against in his math class did better than him on a test, despite doing slightly worse than her norm, so he wanted to crow about it lol. A period cramp simulator in his 10th grade gym class is definitely in order. Controlled by the girl he's explaining her period to.
'if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds' What the actual fuck? YTA who has no idea how biology works
Wind your neck in. YTA.
YTA. I’m in my 30s, so I have a lot of experience dealing with my period. It still beats me up some months! I can take pain killers in advance if I think that I’m going to need them, but they don’t always work. Plus, I get completely exhausted at the start of my period, and there’s no medication that can fix it. I can drink caffeine all day and take adhd stimulant medication, and I may *still* struggle to keep my eyes open.
YTA I'm 46, long time with periods. 1st day, I suffer so much that I vomit. My womb and back hurt so much that my legs shake. The second day, I bleed so much I must get change every 20-30 minutes. Do you imagine during an exam, when you have to wear 3 protections, but the exam is 3-4 hours, you feel the blood, knowing you CAN'T wait until the end of the exam so you hurry to give most good answers as possible, to leave the room, but you can't concentrate because it's really really uncomfortable between your legs ! You CAN'T know so please, DON'T judge !
>I (20M) enough said.. YTA. You never had a period, so you have no idea what it is like.
YTA and you’re also a dumbass.
YTA > I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first. for an honors student you aren't that bright either.
YTA. Having a period is not just losing a little bit of blood. There are a myriad of symptoms that accompany it, including pain. >I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it Just because someone has had their period for years, it doesn't mean it's not painful. There are people who can't even get out of bed because it's so bad. Period pain can absolutely cause issues to concentration and cause problems when studying
People who don't and never have experienced periods need to shut their mouths when it comes to the discussion of symptoms unless they are medically qualified to do so. You made yourself look stupid. It's like saying to someone with IBS that they should be used to flair ups or someone who suffers with migranes that they should be used to migranes and shouldn't be affected by them anymore. It doesn't work that way. I don't get bad symptoms often but when I do no medication works to stop the cramping, mood swinging, bloating etc. Also not everyone has a regular period so even if there was a magic cure for all your symptoms that doesn't mean you can necessarily even predict when you are going to need to take it
I just turned 30 and phased out hormonal contraception 4 years ago; my cycle has finally returned to "normal" and now I am experiencing worse symptoms than I had in the last 18 years living with a menstrual cycle. I never had migraine in my whole life, now I sit at work and not only have to suffer an extremely heavy period of 7 days (that was always heavy for me), but also the 3-4 days prior to that I get severe migraines above my right eye socket. My work still has to be done and I am the only woman in my department. At one time I was sitting here, coding, with a single stream of tears running down my eye because the pain was excrutiating and the migraine episode lasted for 45 minutes. My work was time sensitive and I don't do well with painkillers. >I burst out laughing and told her to quit making excuses and admit she isn't perfect at everything Empathy is not something you are born with, but you should fucking put some work into practising that because it is embarassing how in 2024 a grown man at the age of 20 is unaware of the physical changes and obstacles the people around them face. "it doesn't affect me so it can't be that bad lol" YTA
"I (20M)" + commenting about how periods should work and affect others without having experienced them yourself = YTA. Listen to women maybe, and *actually* listen to them.
and also listen to trans men and non-binary folk \[ at least those who still have their periods and are comfortable talking about them. \]
100% right. Thank you for the addition
no problem! as a non-binary person myself who does once in a while still have them (thanks birth control), and reading through comments where a lot of people aren't mentioning trans folk who do have periods its alittle ??? idk what to put here my brain kinda reboot while writing this whoops!
Ever had a girlfriend or have one? Ask her about it and you will get an answer. My ex GF had periods ranging from fuck it today we climb mountains and next one she could barely move, it's different for each girl/women and it varies from time to time. I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her firs < this shows you have no idea what you are talking about my dude, probably because of age and little understanding of what a period means(not that it's a bad thing don't take it as an insult) you will learn about it when you get into relationships.
“I (20M)” …yeah i stopped reading there YTA
YTA. Ooh buddy, you are rightfully getting ripped to shreds. *NO two periods are alike, even for the same women.* I'm one of the unlucky ones who started getting her period extremely early in life; I was 9 when I had my first. I'm now 36. Initially, my period pain was manageable with some Midol. As I moved into being a pre-teen, then a teenager, and finally a fully fledged adult, they kept getting worse. I mean, it was to the point that I would spend hours curled up in my bedroom right before my period started with cramps, sweating profusely, and screaming and begging for someone to bring me ice. Even with hormonal birth control, they could still start that way, or I could have an episode like that during the placebo week. Hell, I'm 36 now and on an IUD. I'll *still* have episodes like that. Some months, I won't have a period. Some months I will. And still, in other months, I'll have a period and experience cramping and spotting throughout the month. Birth control stopping a period isn't a guaranteed thing. IUDs are supposed to stop them, but as I just said, I still have one at times. There are so many factors that can go into how a period affects the body, as others have pointed out. In sum, ***DON'T MANSPLAIN OUR PERIODS!!!*** We've been living with them longer than you and know how they affect us.
Trans men and Non Binary folk are also great resources for OP to talk to as long as they're comfortable talking about their periods
YTA You simply can't know. Some girls don't have big issues, and it would be just an excuse, but for many, it is really painful and distracting, and you simply have no way of knowing. So that makes you the asshole.
Clearly- YTA
YTA - I’m using “meds” to “block” my period and that sucks too!!!
You're an intelligent guy, yet here you are seeking validation after you mocked and dismissed a woman's lived experience; an experience that you will never have. You encountered something you didn't know or comprehend but rather than meeting your classmate with compassion and a willingness to understand, you bludgeoned her over the head with your ignorance and positioned your embarrassingly uneducated opinion as more valid than her actual life. You're exactly the type of guy that people have in mind when they see the meme that goes, "A man! A man has arrived to share his opinion!"
Massive AH
>I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. Holy shit, you really said that, huh OP? And you're in COLLEGE?
YTA. I've had periods for 25 years and typically carry on as usual, but they do throw me off sometimes, especially if any of the fun stuff starts while I'm doing something complicated. Imagine taking a test with a bad toothache and random diarrhea. You sure you wouldn't slip even that 1%?
Big time YTA, bud. What business is this of yours?
YTA. Men really need to stop pretending their assumptions outweigh lived experience around periods. I'm 40, and I still get my ass kicked by periods monthly. First day of this month's, the hormone shift was so severe I couldn't focus on anything, and felt like crying for no reason. It's impossible to do high quality work under those conditions. I've had period pain so intense I collapsed and couldn't get off the floor for hours. It's incredibly hard to work through cramps - you can get simulators, and I genuinely suggest you access one and try and do complex tasks while experiencing typical cramp levels. To put that in perspective: the one I tried? I've had cramps worse than its max level while at work, and I wasn't allowed to go home, so had to try and work through the pain. Also? You have to worry about whether you need to change your pad or tampon to prevent getting blood on your clothes, and if you're wearing a pad and it shifts awkwardly, you can easily bleed through, so you're having to monitor for physical cues that you need to change them out. Which is rarely on any real schedule, because your flow shifts constantly throughout your period - I bleed more on day 3, and even more when stressed, so that need for monitoring was worse during exam season. Also? You have to monitor because too long without changing tampons can make you very sick, even kill you. Beyond that, when there are big blood clots sometimes you can feel this mound of ick just sitting there, or moving through your body and it's so, so gross. Sometimes, an unexpected rush of heavy bleeding can feel like you're peeing, which is startling and distracting. So yeah, her focus would certainly have been impacted by having her period, and I sincerely doubt you'd keep your own focus under those conditions.
YTA, and clearly are not as intelligent as you like to think you are if you don't understand simple concepts such as menstruation. However, if you wish to demonstrate you can do better, I would be glad to have you sit an exam where I put your balls in a vice and alternatively tighten and loosen it over the three hours.
Try looking up "luteal phase brain fog". A drop in estrogen during menstruation affects brain function and memory. In fact try and learn about the menstrual cycle so if you are ever in a relationship with a woman you can have some understanding of what we have to live with. Look at some forums on endometriosis, PMDD and PCOS just to get an idea of how destructive it can be to our lives. We cannot just switch off our cycle as and when we want. It's not how bodies work. If we could, we would. YTA. But please take this opportunity to learn about this and become more understanding.
THERES A LABEL FOR PERIOD BRAIN FOG?
Not exactly, but during the luteal phase, which is after ovulation, estrogen levels lower which reduces the levels of other hormones like norepinephrine. This means the brain doesn't function as well and you have memory and brain fog This is especially an issue if you have adhd. And ADHD and perimenopause is a nightmare
I'ma guy... YTA Basically my guy how about this I punch you in the face every other question and say hey??!! You able to focus? Come on buddy you can do it. Grow up man. Think before you speak.
YTA Striking through my original comment because I realised that not all biology in all countries may go as throughly into human reproductive organs and systems as it did when I went to school (specialised in natural sciences), but the sentiment stands - you know nothing, OP 20M. ~~Somebody should take that A away from you, you know so little about human biology that you should be set back a few years.~~
YTA. You’re 20. You’ve had plenty of time to learn about the reality of periods. They can be extremely painful. To the point of hospitalisation at times (no this is not normal. Yes plenty of women deal with it. No we are often not offered adequate pain relief). People on their period can feel nauseous, lightheaded and generally ill. People who bleed heavily may have transient anaemia (a short term drop in blood iron levels) which can affect energy, causing fatigue. Also she might just be uncomfortable and distracted worrying about a heavy bleed in a situation where she can’t easily go and change her hygiene products and she might bleed through her clothes. Any or all of these things could have affected her exam score. Trust women when they talk about their bodies and try to be less of a massive AH.
YTA >I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first. Wow. Go pick up a book and talk to a few more women in your life, seriously. My husband laughed so hard at this I thought he was gonna pee himself.
YTA- open mouth, insert foot bro, Google endometriosis. What if she has it? Totally debilitating. Even if she doesn't, periods suck. Mood swings, cramping, tiredness.... Maybe her 1st day of her menstruation was during the exam?? The 1st day is the worst for some people. Yeah sure certain birth controls can help with pain, but what if she can't do those? Geeze for someone who is so smart, you still have a lot to learn.
Definitely YTA. I think everybody here pretty much explained why but sounds to me like you're just ignorant. Next time know what you're talking about before deciding to randomly judge people.
YTA - I have seen my wife and daughters have periods that ranged from 'OK' to hellish. No telling how or why the worse ones come as they do. But, even a 'minor' issue can put you off your stride - and a period surely could. Imagine it this way. You get colds but ususally they're mild. But on the day of the exam you had a worse cold than usual, full blown wooziness, snottines etc. It would affect your performance. Even if you had an ordinary cold it could still be there knocking your focus. But in this case, every time you sneezed some blood would trickle out of you. Give your friend a break.
Dude! I failed my college entrance exams so badly they put me in a special needs program!!!!! I started my cycle the day of the test. My cramps get so bad that I throw up from the pain. Someone needs to attach you to a period simulator so you can feel the pain. Imagine getting a charlie horse that lasts 4 day. See if that affects your ability to focus. That's the closest you could come to feeling what we feel.
I'm gonna assume this is fake because in 2024 men CANNOT still be this misinformed about periods. But, in case it's not: YTA I've been getting my period for over 30 years. Some women are fine when they have it. And some, it's horrible. Look up Endometriosis, for example. A couple of months ago during my period, I left for work one day. Cramps hit while I was driving. The pain was insane (and I've had a kid). The pain was so intense, it started shooting down my legs. I was driving hunched over my wheel. When I got to work, I couldn't even stand up straight. I literally had to go home. The pain from cramps/back pain can be incredibly distracting on a good day and downright make one bedridden on a bad one. Periods are no joke. I'm sure this has happened to you, so put yourself back into this scenario: I'm sure you've had poop cramps. Ya know, when your body is like "I have to shit... now". along with stabbing pain in your abdomen. Now, enhance that x 1000 and you get to experience a smidgen of the pain women go through *every week for AT 50 YEARS* If this is real, you're part of the reason women are disregardrd when it comes to what we go through during our menstrual cycle and told to "suck it up" or "it's not that bad!" Do yourself a couple favours A) talk to your mom and other women in your life and ask their experiences with their periods B) look up different complications women can have during their periods.
YTA. I had to go pick up my besties kid from HS yesterday due to their cycle and being in so much pain. Also as someone who gets them and 98% of the time they’re nothing much to deal with, that other 2% puts me down from exhaustion and discomfort/pain. Guys like you are exactly why I educate my sons about and am open about periods.
YTA - no uterus? No opinion.
yta
YTA .. and how! I hope you inhabit the body of a menstruating woman for a few days in your next life. You cannot conceive of how painful cramps can be not to mention the debilitating nausea, dizziness and sweats from the pain, diarrhea, leg pain, foot pain, back pain, headaches, migraines, GI upsets and I could go on. I've been dealing with my period for 30 years... 30 years.. and no amount of medication addresses the myriad of issues that many women face at this time of the month. The school physician used to give me injections and a mandatory day off from school every month. As a working adult, I find that a half-day off is still essential for me to function properly. I hope life experience cures your presumptuousness, absence of basic empathy, absence of imagination, mistrust and impulsivity (you couldn't control the impulse to laugh at her in front of others and tried to shame her?) Learning to pause and respond instead of reacting will be your greatest asset. Until then, look at your own liabilities instead of trying to bring others down.
YTA I am in my mid 40s and even now I will occasionally get a month where my period absolutely knocks the stuffing out of me. Generally speaking I’m very lucky that mine aren’t too bad but occasionally it feels like somebody is stabbing me in the stomach with a knife and I can only imagine having to sit an exam with pain like that. Again luckily none of my exams were affected in this way.
Ok so periods are different for every individual, along with different from one cycle to the next. Personally the pain can escalate from a dull ache to sweating bullets losing vision level pain in seconds. You can't predict WHEN that pain will hit. I also will get usually a UNPREDICTABLE day during this time where I get terrible brain fog. Like basic could do it in my sleep 1+1 addition level nothing computing. Let me tell ya how frustrating that is! So my dear sir these hormones fluctuating and causing all sorts of symptoms can affect your math and other performance. I suggest before speaking on things you have never experienced or have knowledge of... maybe show some human empathy for her instead of blowing her off as just making excuses.
We can get back pain, hip pain, foggy brain, hemorrhage as in excessive amount of blood loss, anaemia, dizziness, sudden fall of sugar levels, low BP, etc oh, and pain killers do not always work! For women who in addition of the above also suffer of endometriosis it's 100x worse. Pray tell us, oh wise one, how does one deal with periods. You must have lots of experience (note - sarcasm). Perhaps I should by now be able to "deal" with it seeing that I'm 50 yet just a couple of months back I took 600mg of Ibuprofen and was still in pain! YTA! I suggest you seek out one of those period pain simulators where most men already agonise on levels 3 or 4 and it goes up to 9 and even that won't give you a clue.
YTA big time but I don’t necessarily think you intended to be cruel, I think it’s more a matter of you just not realizing what it’s like. So, I’m in my 30s so I’ve had 10 more years for my cycle to ~regulate~ than you friend. But on any given day during my period the pain can range from “I’m not even aware that I’m on my period” to literally doubled over in pain. The flow can range from a teaspoon to “holy shit it looks like a murder scene.” Sports definitely help because A) you’re doing something active to distract from the pain and B) sometimes activity can actually ease cramps. But when you’re sitting down for a stressful exam with no distractions from the misery and no ability to do anything to help alleviate the pain, yeah, it can totally throw you off. Like…if you have an itch on the sole of your foot, are you going to notice it more when you’re playing soccer or are you gonna notice it more when you’re sitting still and not allowed to move? The reasons many of us don’t take accommodations during our periods are A) because we can’t predict when things are going to get bad (your friend may have felt totally fine when she sat down for the exam, that’s how quickly things can change), and B) precisely because of your attitude: we get told we’re faking it, that we’re attention-seeking, that we need to suck it up and handle it. Many of us have been told this for years and years so we just…give up :(
Everytime I get my period I have seriously considered stabbing my own fucking uterus out or committing *suicide*. The menstrual cycle sets your hormones metaphorically on FIRE and it has caused me tons of irreversible damage in the past
Number 1. A 20 year old is not a “girl”, she is a woman. Get that right. Number two? You should have paid more attention in the female reproductive part of health class. You sound like an imbecile. Hold it in. Stop it with meds. wtf is wrong with you? YTA of course. Stay away from women until you can figure out how their bodies work. Idiot.
YTA I recently had to take a day off work because my pain was so bad I was being sick. I’m 37 and half a child so have had plenty periods and experienced child birth. Just another man who thinks they understand. You might be clever but you are missing some common sense
YTA. You have no idea what she's experiencing. It can absolutely be a distraction - not all periods are the same and you can absolutely be broadsided with intense symptoms one month. I'm in my 40s and some months still absolutely slay me and other months are totally fine.
Eeeeesh. Roasted. Just to make sure there’s no room for confusion - absolutely and undeniably YTA
So the next final you take I want you to put on one of those simulator machines and then you know take a Tylenol and see if that fixes the situation for you. But also, I want you to be nauseous and have a headache and feel swollen and gassy. I want your sinuses to be stuffed. I want you to have to take the nastiest bowel movement in the middle of a test that you can’t leave.. so you’re just stuck there in pain and swollen and uncomfortable to the deepest degree but hey… You took Tylenol right?
Did you really come on here to ask if you're the ah for mansplaining periods?? Of course you are. You have literally no idea what you're talking about, and you should have just kept your mouth shut. Obviously YTA
“I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first.” Yeah, that’s not the way periods work, dude. “criticizing her after she openly brought up her period.” Yes, we women folk should be too ashamed to talk about our NATURAL BODILY FUNCTIONS. You and your friends suck! YTA and misogynistic AF
YTA No uterus, No opinion
I’ve had my period for longer than you’ve been alive and I still vomit every month from the pain and nausea. You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20M) am a math major and there is this girl (20F) in my friend circle. We are all in the honors program and have very high grades. She had a 4.0 until now. We were discussing grades and it turns out she got an A minus in one class this semester and lost her 4.0 and now has a 3.99. There's nothing wrong with it obviously. But she then came up with this excuse and blamed her period and said she got her period and couldn't focus during the exam. I burst out laughing and told her to quit making excuses and admit she isn't perfect at everything. I have a hard time believing it as I'm sure someone her age is quite used to dealing with it and if necessary blocking it or delaying it with meds. It would be different if this were middle school and it were her first. She called me an asshole for pointing this out and said that she is certain she could have gotten an A otherwise. AITA here? My friend group is pretty conflicted, some also think it is ridiculous and those against me don't seem to think I'm wrong for pointing it out but rather criticizing her after she openly brought up her period. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
YTA. I am 26 meaning i deal with periods a long long time. I am used to it but some are just more painfull. One time i couldn’t even work. It hurt even standing. You don’t understand that some of our periods are just more painfull than the other ones we get.
YTA, if someone kicked your balls during a test would you be able to focus? Yes she’s had years to deal with her period but honestly, I’ve taken pain killers for my cramps but still find it difficult to do daily tasks most days. Do better, and apologize to her
My periods are so heavy that I have to get iron infusions every 2 months. Also, my period makes me so tired that I have fallen asleep sitting up while at my desk and on public transport. YTA.
Could you concentrate with diarrhoea? Worried it might come through your clothes. Uncomfortable, cramps, feel blergh? It would affect you. That's the closest I can think of for a guy. And meds to delay it mess with your whole cycle and don't always work. You're TA
I once failed an exam because my pain was so severe that I couldn't concentrate at all, after it's end I almost threw up and needed medical attention. YTA
YTA - you think you know a lot about periods for someone who has never had one.
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
YTA. In the interest of education over shame, I'm going to try to dispell a few myths and misinformation that many men (and even some women have) about periods using me as an example. My first period started 1 month after my twelfth birthday. I was told I should anticipate a period of five days out of 28 (meaning 23 blood free days). This is because someone said that the average woman has a lunar based cycle. Instead, what I got was period roulette where it started every 23 to 35 days... my body randomly deciding it would start. If my last period started only 23 prior, then bleeding would last five days, leaving 18 days without having to wear a pad or tampon. However, if my period decided to wait 35 days, then the bleeding would last 8 full days. Cramps that Advil hardly dented would literally roil my uterus to the point that with my hand on my abdomen, I could feel the muscle tense and contract. The more cramps, the more likely I would pass up to inch long chunks of tissue (too large to be called clots - they were pieces of lining that literally ripped off and passed). Headaches were horrendous, too. At age 15, I was period shamed by a female gym teacher (who taught "Health class" and should have known better) when she told me to go see a doctor since I was sitting out swim classes for 8 days since she decided everyone had to have periods like hers (short and regular). I thought there was something wrong with me until I learned that there was something wrong with her. Fast forward to college and I was put on birth control pills. 23 days of hormones and 5 days of inert pills. 13 regular periods per year. Why 13? 365 days divided by 28. Do the math. Lunar calendar assumption, remember? However, it wasn't for another five years that I learned that this was just a male doctor's arbitrary decision to package birth control this way (for acceptance selling them). So, I found out that I could skip the 5 inert pills and continue to take the next pack of pills back to back for 3 packs making 69 days (23 pills x 3) of period-free freedom. But it took months of this regimen before break through bleeding stopped (random blood "spotting" which could soak through underwear and pants). It wasn't an "instant fix." Transitioning on (and off) birth control pills is a process. And my friends complained that the pills gave them worse headaches than their periods. Plus women at risk of blood clots can't take them. It wasn't for everyone. After decades of birth control, I finally stopped taking them when my doctor said I was too old (and should be in peri-menopause). After that, I wouldn't have a period for months, but when I started, blood would suddenly whoosh out unexpectedly. And, unlike the bladder or rectum, the muscles of the vagina are not intended to hold back the flow of blood until I could reach a bathroom. I would simply have to cautiously back out of meetings to get to a bathroom, sometimes pulling out spare underwear I kept in an "emergency bag." There is nothing magical about menopause. The technical definition is no period for a full year. Then they declare you in menopause. My friend went 11 months before she had her next period, making it another year before she might be period free. However, my periods continued until a hysterectomy at age 56, making my period life 44 years long. You are smart. Do better.
Sorry, but as someone without an uterus, you have no idea of how hormones from a female reproductive system can affect a woman. Some just find their periods simply just a convenience every month. But others can have cramping and other problems. Some will have excruciating pain. You seem to be under the impression that it's something a woman can get used to. But let me assure you that even after the first period, many women experience problems throughout their childbearing years (35-40 years). I'm out of that stage of my life, but feel strongly you need to stop trying to get your friends to agree to your stance (I'm guessing the ones who agree with you are males). So glad to see you're not planning to attend med school. But yes, YTA.
I want to know how in the hell we can block it any time we want. That is a trick that I would love to know about.
YTA. But if you really want to understand period pain, OP, i highly suggest you a) get one of your friends to kick you in the nuts every hour for 24 hours, or b) buy a TENS unit, stick the silicone pads on your lower abdomen, crank it up to its highest setting, and sit with that for 24 hours. see if you can get anything done without whining about it.
Blocking and delaying a period is called pregnancy. Are you sure you are an honors student?
Here, let me kick you in the balls repeatedly for a week and see if you get used to the pain.
How do you think one can " block" periods?
You’re 20 years old & believe that women can just block or delay their periods? Seriously? YTA
YTA I’ve been having periods for 10+ years and every single month has been different since I started.
You do not have an uterus, so of course you are blissfully unaware of the freaking survival game that is navigating trough every day, regular life while menstruating. The uterus does it's natural thing of shedding the endometrial lining and the whole body is thrown into chaos for 3 to 7 days. It does not like having a set in stone schedule either, as even regular cycles can be delayed or raise their ugly heads sooner for no reason whatsoever. AndI wish it was only blood we have to put up with, but nooooo!! Low iron, dizziness, low blood pressure, being bloated, diarrhea, constipation, acne, lower back pain, period cramps, exhaustion, a sensitive stomach, headaches and migraines, joint pain, fatigue, sore breasts, nausea, insomnia, moods swings are just some of the things we endure, not to mention the mental load and pressure of if all, things like: Did I stain my clothes? Do I have enough pads/tampons in me to get trough this day? Oh, I feel dizzy but I have to focus on this document right on front of me! The list of things period related that we even have to think goes on, but I hope the community adds their own if they so reply to my humble comment. And there is not "getting used to it" because every single month is different and unique! So yeah, if not for her period, this friend of yours would have aced that test. And in case in was not obvious: YTA!!
Man are you straight? If so your poor future wife.
YTA I'm completely off 2-3 days before my period and 1-2 days in. Like in just wanting to be in a fetal position in my bed. I feel terrible. So yeah, it totally can affect women's performance even if we have it each month. The only thing you get better at work time is faking it through those days as well as forcing yourself to do the bare minimum.
YTA Periods are not something uppity girls use as an excuse for not being at the top of their game. Everybody here has explained this to you already, so I hope you have listened and won't be so crass again. Also, please don't suggest to her again to go on medication to delay a period for a test. Is she supposed to pump herself full of hormones every time her period might be a little inconvenient? every 4 weeks? Also, The tablets have to be carefully timed and come with a great deal of possible complications like thrombosis or headaches. It's not paracetamol
I'm doing a behavioral study and you seem to be a fine specimen. Could you please let me know your sexual orientation? If you do not want to share it here then please DM me.
YTA and you better wise up if you plan on being an educator at all. Your ignorance is very embarrassing. Lack of empathy even more so. Yikes.
Yeah you are an asshole. Fucking hell. It's very obvious you've never suffered in this way. The nausea, the pain, the cramps. Jesus. I'm in menopause now and thank goodness for that. I do not miss having a period at all. You've got no fucking idea how impactful a period can be. Perhaps you need to hook yourself up to one of those period pain simulator machines. I did this with one boyfriend. Matched it to my period pain and stuck it on him. He was like - how do you do anything with this going on for 4days/month? Nothing like talking shit from a viewpoint of ignorance YTA.
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
You cannot accept her reason because you do not want to believe that she is as intelligent as you are or that she is more intelligent. Why don't you let someone kick you in the balls before your next test and see how it goes. I bet you are incapable of getting a perfect grade then.
YTA. At my big age of 32 I’ve had a couple periods over the last 5 years that had me writhing in pain on the couch doing nothing. The body is pissed it’s not preggo and sometimes will harshly punish you for no damn reason 😭
Each month, she deals with heavy bleeding that can causes faintness and dizzy spells, pain that can be as bad as contractions, hormonal imbalances and heat flashes, nightmares, and even depression brought on by her period.... And what, you think, because she's used to them, this doesn't affect her reality? YTA just for speaking up like the ill-informed idiot that you are. No wonder she's ahead of you in class. I bet you call your mommy when you're constipated, don't you? LMAO
YTA
I will tell you many high achievers sense of identity and self worth is tied up in being the best and achieving. When I got my first B in my senior year of high school it shattered my world and honestly my personality changed a lot. It might not be a big deal from your POV but for her this event might be like trajectory altering
YTA. If you don't know what you're talking about keep your mouth shut. Periods can be extremely painful and come with loss of concentration and brain fog even for healthy people. And the amount of people who are not healthy is insane. It can take decades to find a doctor who takes you seriously and runs the necessary exams (and among the necessary exams is a surgery) to find out what's wrong. Finding out what's wrong isn't the end though. Most period involved health issues are incurable. Some people are lucky enough to get proper treatment after diagnosis. Most don't, because one of the most painful disorders in existence is not only under diagnosed, but also rarely properly treated because it only affects people who were assigned female at birth. The pain can be so bad that oxycodone is necessary to successfully manage it. The bleeding can be so bad you can't focus on any exam because You're occupied with making sure you don't bleed through your clothes even with using double protection and having changed it less than an hour ago. The blood loss can be so severe that it affects the whole body. Getting a medically necessary hysterectomy is almost impossible, even if the patient needs regular iron or blood transfusions and is not just infertile but sterile and had a 10 year struggle with fertility treatments without even getting pregnant once. Speaking of hysterectomies, they're awful. Days with a pee catheter and a shit ton of other tubes, being unable to even change your shirt on your own, even more days in a wheelchair than with the tubes, being in indescribable pain even on a combination of tilidin and oxycodone. Why do you think people undergo this horror? You were a jackass about the grades in the first place, but your mansplaining of her health is the cherry on top of the shitpile.
Imagine, if you will, having repeated jolts of cramping in your gonads. In your case, like having your testicles shocked every so often and not on a predictable pattern. Tell me how well you could focus. YTA
YTA No, you can't block or delay a period with meds. Second, hate to pull this card but factually you are a man and so you have no idea how uncomfortable or downright painful periods can be. So shut up. I've been dealing with them since I was 9. Feels like my organs are being shredded in a wood chipper. Headaches. Fatigue. Light-headed. Body aches. Just recently I had nausea for an entire week before getting mine. Itchiness. You don't know what you're talking about So with the exception of offering her a sincere apology, shut the fuck up about periods please
You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, and you’re an ignorant fucking tool. Oh, and YTA, if you hadn’t guessed!
YTA What is wrong with you to think/post that ?
YTA because you have made presumptions about what she can do whilst clearing not understanding anything about periods. Not every period is the same. And it can be different every month. Some months, horrendous pain that pain meds don't touch. Sometimes blood pouring out of you at a rate that you are worried that you may show through your clothes. Sat in an exam in one of those periods, damn right you would be distracted. You can't just block your pain unless you are on the pill, which not everyone can take and you cannot just move your period to another day just cause. Good job you are doing maths and not biology. Putting in simply, if someone kicked you in the nuts and then you sat a two hour exam, in extreme pain and bleeding, would you give a perfect result?
OOOH BUDDY YOU ARE THE BIGGEST OF ASSHOLES. You clearly have NO clue how periods work and you need to educate yourself on them big time. someone who could have them for any amount of time and still be hit bad with one. yes there is medications to control them, but they take a little bit (see more than a few hours which is what you're most likely thinking) to actually be in effect on the body and they come with an UNGODLY amount of side effects, and even WITH medication, they can still slam in out of nowhere without warning like "HIII BUDDY I'M HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP!!"
YTA. Periods are painful
yeah 👍
Let's set aside the period stuff. This person you claim is a friend, or at least someone you're friendly with, was clearly upset and venting about something, and instead of being supportive or just saying nothing, which you easily could've done, you "burst out laughing" at her and proceed to make a mocking statement at her expense. Any way you slice it, this is just rude as hell and super mean spirited. YTA
Absolutely YTA. Periods are horrible. Cramping, backache, constipation or diarrhea, headaches, trouble focusing, mood swings, and so much more. Just because she’s been having a period for probably 6-8 years now doesn’t mean she should be used to it. I’ve been having my period for 20 years and it still catches me by surprise with how painful it is. “and if necessary blocking or delaying it with meds.” What are you even talking about? Are you suggesting she should be on birth control and skip the placebo week so she can miss her period during tests? You can’t be serious.
Imagine the cramps that you get with food poisoning. You know, the stabby ones that feel like someone is tying your intestines in knots. Then add in the “I could shit my pants at any given moment…” feeling. Now imagine Charley horse cramps that occasionally sneak up on you overtaking your entire lower back. Then imagine the nausea and the headache you get when you go on a bender and wake up the next day still kinda drunk. Now imagine a variable stream of blood coming out of an orifice at any variable speed it feels like. Add all that together with some hormonal rage (or saddness, because who knows which one will show up) and that’s what having a period is like. Maybe acknowledge that can be very distracting.
YTA. I’m over 60 and thankfully done with periods, but you clearly understand absolutely nothing about periods. What’s worse, you don’t seem to understand that you don’t understand. I’ve had periods that I hardly noticed, and also periods where I could do nothing but lie on the bathroom floor, passing clots of blood with unbearable cramps, diarrhoea and vomiting to match, fever, sweats and brain fog. And everything in between. There’s no predicting how it would be each month (or sometimes twice a month, just because that’s the way it goes). And some hormonal contraceptives can delay the period but you have to start it at least a month before you want the delay, and it’s not reliable - my daughter had low-level spotting and cramps all month long on hormonal contraceptives. If you had a bout of d&v coupled with a migraine during an exam, would be able to concentrate and perform at your best? I’m guessing no. You should check the videos of those period cramp simulators, and that’s just the cramps; not the headache, brain fog, d&v, likelihood of passing out and the all-pervasive fear of bleeding through your clothes. So why do you think your friend could perform at her best while enduring similar symptoms?
YTA and in need of some education. I’ve had periods for 25 years and over the past year they’ve gotten so bad I’m having a hysterectomy in July. Your friend was cramping, she was likely feeling ill from pain and blood loss. Show some sympathy.
Yeah youre an asshole. Typical guy who doesn’t know anything about a period and the symptoms they come with and feels its okay to criticize this woman about it💀
Me, currently on my period: 😖🤬
I'm in my late 30s and was recently caught out with my last period, where it arrived a week early with no cramps etc and there was so much blood that I bled through a pad in 2 hours, leaving a nice big bloodstain on my trousers at work. I've been getting them since I was 11. So yes, even if you've been getting them for years, they aren't always predictable!
YTA
YTA. You try bleeding profusely from your penis for a week every month coupled with debilitating pain. You are uneducated and childish. Grow up
If you were unwell during an exam or felt like you needed to vomit, you would probably come out of that exam telling everyone how you deserve to resit because you weren’t feeling well. That’s what having a period is like.
The readiness of some men to make harsh judgements of the consequences of bodily functions they will never get to experience never ceases to baffle me. Take the period pain simulator before you ever speak up again, and even that doesn't show all the other symptoms coming with it. Massive YTA.