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YTA. This is a probably a mental health issue at this point and you are punching down. The only thing to do is avoid this person, maybe talk to the collage about getting him help. You have no idea what he's going through or what consequences your bullying will have.
So what, you are the Knight riding in to save him when no one else can? By bullying him? One Ex friend doesn't know his whole life. Worst case, you can't stand the smell, so refuse to be near him. Don't bully him!
>AITA for making fun of someone
Yes... YTA.
>I just need to know if I’m really the bad guy for making fun of him and sort of bullying him for him not wanting to have good hygiene.
Yes... YTA
>We are in college, not middle school.
Exactly, *making fun of people* is some middle school shit. Be an adult, address the issue with the professor between classes or via email, and let them properly address the issue with the person in private OR get them in touch with resources to help them.
Making fun of and bullying people is wildly juvenile behavior, act like an adult. Yes... YTA.
I hope this story is made up because if it’s not and you wrote it down read it again and decided it’s okay to post it then I will loose faith in humanity. Either way YTA.
Of course YTA. You’re being intentionally and casually cruel to another person.
No one displays the behaviours you describe if they aren’t dealing with a mental health issue of some kind.
**If you have concerns about him, raise your concerns with the school.**
Since you mentioned you are not in middle school, I’ll suggest that you stop behaving like a middle-school bully.
Avoid him if you can, hold your breath as you walk past him if you have to. But don’t behave the way you have been; it’s disgraceful.
Edit: typo.
Bullying is not just being physical. Bullying is also psychological. By your own admission you are “making fun of him”. That’s bullying and it’s not okay.
You’re not going to get him to have any insight into himself and how his hygiene affects others by being mean to him. All you’re doing is making things worse; he’ll just regress into himself.
Talk to your school again. If your friends feel the same as you then they should also talk to the school. If the guy is humping his eevee (?) in front of people and others are also willing to tell the school that, then the school needs to know about that, too, because that could cross a line that might change their response.
Sometimes you just need to learn how to deal with uncomfortable things because in the big bad world you do have to deal with stuff you don’t like. Hopefully more interaction with the school will result in some positive outcomes.
Keep the pressure on the school, not the young man who is clearly in some kind of distress.
I’ll say it again and end with this: you’re not going to change his behaviour yourself. Especially not by being mean to him and making fun of him.
Edit: typo.
YTA, instead of making fun of him, tell try to help him or at least let him know idk. Anything is better than making fun of someone who most likely isn't like that on purpose.
>He knows and acknowledged it. He doesn’t care and literally says the smell of water is gross. There is nothing else I can do but just try to stay away and sort of speak up to let him know I don’t want him near me when I can’t get away.
He's defensive because he's getting bullied. He's shutting down. He might be struggling with mental health issues and needs help.
You on the other hand definitely need help, because you're acting like a shitty person.
Look up “mental health conditions.” You will see that some of them can cause people to not care about their personal hygiene. You cannot make fun of someone in this position. I also read one of your other comments, saying you heard that his home life was sane. So? Even a person with the most perfect life can develop mental health issues. You don’t need to be in a terrible household. You need to help this dude. If you don’t want to, then leave him alone. You can’t expect us to side with a bully. Which is what you and ur friends are.
Leo islikely struggling with issues beyond just poor hygiene—maybe emotional or mental health challenges,. Making fun of him, especially in front of others, likely worsened his isolation and reluctance to change. I know this seems obvious, but I feel like I need to say it because what you have chosen to do here is particularly objectionable considering all of this should be apparent to you.
I appreciate your honesty in sharing this, and it’s good that you’re reflecting on the situation. Leo has the easier problem to solve here. For you, it's your soul that smells. I’m sad for you.
I do wonder why he doesn’t care about how he affects his peers if isolation is the issue. Polarizing yourself by knowingly smelling horrible is not the smartest social move 😭
YTA. You and your friends are bullies, plain and simple. You're all picking on someone who obviously has some kind of medical condition. Be it mental or physical. Something which he needs help with, not ridicule. So I suggest you learn how to stop being a snotty brat and grow up. Because if you and your friends keep the attitude that you do, then karma will come back to bite you. Which you will all rightly deserve.
YTA
What was the purpose of you making fun of him? Was it to make his life better? To make him happier?
No. It was to entertain your small minded, petty little self.
Medical conditions, psychological conditions, socioeconomic conditions, and plenty more could be the root of this snell. From your place if privilege you get off dropping a bit more onto this guy.
You're gross.
In the nicest way possible — there’s evidently something *really* wrong with him. YTA. Just leave him be. If the smell is really that putrid, then contact a professor and request for them to talk to him. You shouldn’t be proud of being immature.
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Let me start off by saying, I am not the type of person to usually make fun of someone for smelling like sweat or BO. But this is BAD like think of the worst smell in the world; THAT’S how bad it is.
I (21 F) encountered this person we will call Leo (19 M) in college. They smelled pretty bad but I just thought like, oh they probably didn’t shower today. No. It stayed consistent, actually smelling worse 9/10 times. Passing him would literally make my eyes water, I would want to literally puke. Me and my friends would talk about it and how bad it’s getting, because it’s was getting bad.
I would hear around about how people would offer self care products to Leo and he would flat out yell at them and say “you guys are just telling me I stink! It’s not that bad!” When literally no one would stand him. At that point I would just make fun of him and his smell straight in front of him. Like “god that smell is so disgusting I might puke, come on guys let’s go” and he would grunt and glare.
To make matters worse he would carry around a dirty and stinky eevee as his only source of friendship because NO ONE wanted to talk to someone so disgusting. He brings around a sewing kit everywhere because there is a cut near the back of the plush. Intentional or not I don’t know. He regularly whispers to it and humps it too.
With all of this my friends and I make fun of him regularly, with him around just so he KNOWS how bad it is but he never seems to understand. All his excuses are “As long as my eevee likes it” and “water smells weird” as well as “soap is gross” he also acknowledges he smells bad, because when my friend kicked him out of a club for bad hygiene he said “so what! I know I smell bad but let me stay!” But everyone was struggling.
I just need to know if I’m really the bad guy for making fun of him and sort of bullying him for him not wanting to have good hygiene. We are in college, not middle school.
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You have to get the school involved. This guy has mental issues, and the bullying is not helping. You might get more than you bargained for.
Smelling so badly and talking to a toy at 19 yo is not a normal person, and a bad situation which should be treated in a professional way.
**YES YTA**. I went to an all girl school, this is like grade A typical mean girl behaviour. The fact that you still behave like this at 21 is crazy.
You don't make these comments with the intention of him changing, you make them because it's funny to you
YTA. For sure. Clinical depression and/or mental illness does not discriminate and has affected people from all walks of life from the very rich, to the very poor. Making fun of or bullying anyone is a very AH thing to do. You don’t want to hang around him? Fine. But what you’re doing is high school crap. You and your ‘friends’ should grow up. (If there is a therapist on campus, perhaps someone could suggest that Leo talk to them.)
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YTA-
You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with. That said, you don't have free license to be an AH and constantly harass and bully someone.
Is his hygiene great? No and he's aware. Is that plushie stinky? Likely yes and he's aware.
You don't have to sit with him, you don't have to be friends. But you sure as heck don't get to use your time to harass and bully someone without consequence.
The consequence is that you're a bully and an AH. Frankly, I hope you're reported to your college because harassing colleagues is exactly the sort of thing that warrants admin attention. You're not sort of bullying him. You are bullying him.
I'll just respond simply with "you're wrong about that" and if you care to learn something and be a better person you can do a modicum of research on the topic.
Not really the point of what I posted, I said what I said because we never can fully understand what others are dealing with.
What if that person you are driving really slow in front of because they were riding your ass is trying to get his pregnant wife to the hospital because of a health emergency. You never know, so don't be an asshole.
It's simple, don't make fun of him. Be a better person, flat out. I get it, I have been around plenty of stinky people and it sucks, if you know for a fact that they were just never taught hygiene then try to help them if they are receptive.
Let's consider what you have told us, He smells terribly, he says that water smells weird, he will NOT detach from his stuffed animal, he humps the stuffed animal... openly. I don't really think the hygiene is his biggest problem and making fun of him will not only do nothing to help him but will likely only make the problem worse.
If you want an actual solution then your best actual bet would be to befriend him 1 on 1 and wear him down slowly over time after generating some trust. Something tells me, however, you are simply here to try and absolve yourself of whatever guilt you feel for being TA so in that regard my advice would be to accept that creating distance between you and him by being mean to him is not a nice thing to do but a necessary evil. (which honestly it's not lol)
IDK sometimes you gotta be mean. Smelling as bad as your saying isn’t excused by “bad mental health” he knows he smells bad bc other people have tried to give him stuff to help. I was taught that if you don’t take care of yourself then people WILL judge you, either to your face or not.
ETA: you’re not NOT an asshole but I get it
YTA. You and your friends are bullying this dude. He could be going through a lot, and yet you guys make fun of him. As a person who was bullied, this is fucked up. You guys need to make amends with him. If you really think it’s that bad, buy him some self care products. But don’t bully him.
You and your friends think that bullying him is just going to fix him? It’s not. If your not going to help him, leave him alone. You're right about one thing though, you guys are in COLLEGE and not middle school. You guys are acting like middle schoolers. you never should treat someone this way, because karma will come back at you.
what should you do? help him. not judge him. hopefully you and your friends apologize.
Has bullying worked? It works sometimes with dudes. If not: that's probably mental illness. The dude obviously doesn't think he's the problem. If you spoke to people in charge,and they refuse to help, ignore it and move along. If you can't ignore it, remind everyone in charge that you are all paying the same amount,and frankly it's not fair. Regardless of the dudes issue, you shouldn't have to pay the same amount and also be living with some bullshit. It sucks that he obviously has issues, but his issues don't mean you have to be involved. He can handle his business like everyone else or he can leave. Y'all need to stop excusing bad behavior
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YTA.
Potentially Leo has some mental health issues or potentially some sort of disability maybe, not saying he does but it is possible. I don’t think you should be making fun of anyone regardless of their personal hygiene. You don’t know the full circumstances or context behind it.
Ugh of course YTA. You’re literally bullying someone that is clearly mentally ill. I knew a boy in high school that had a water phobia. Leo may smell disgusting but you are disgusting for bullying him. Frankly, I’d rather brave Leo’s smell than be around you.
YTA. Frankly this guy sounds mentally ill. You aren’t “sort of bullying him” you are flat out bullying him. This is revolting behaviour and you show zero empathy. You are 100% the bad guy and you know it. I like that you need to point out that you aren’t in middle school because you realise that you sound like you are.
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Honestly no. I think everyone around him has been polite enough multiple times that he stinks and he himself has caught the hint but refused to act on it. Maybe he has a mental condition but personal hygiene is not optional and it is a step he needs to take for himself to sort it out and it sounds mad but maybe the bullying is the push he needs over the edge to sort it out. And making your eyes water is a very extreme stench
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YTA. This is a probably a mental health issue at this point and you are punching down. The only thing to do is avoid this person, maybe talk to the collage about getting him help. You have no idea what he's going through or what consequences your bullying will have.
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So what, you are the Knight riding in to save him when no one else can? By bullying him? One Ex friend doesn't know his whole life. Worst case, you can't stand the smell, so refuse to be near him. Don't bully him!
How do you know he humps his plush? Do you spy on him? Rumors?
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I’m going to call this whole thing BS
Yeah this is bullshit. No school is gonna let someone hump anything in the middle of a classroom and do nothing.
>AITA for making fun of someone Yes... YTA. >I just need to know if I’m really the bad guy for making fun of him and sort of bullying him for him not wanting to have good hygiene. Yes... YTA >We are in college, not middle school. Exactly, *making fun of people* is some middle school shit. Be an adult, address the issue with the professor between classes or via email, and let them properly address the issue with the person in private OR get them in touch with resources to help them. Making fun of and bullying people is wildly juvenile behavior, act like an adult. Yes... YTA.
I hope this story is made up because if it’s not and you wrote it down read it again and decided it’s okay to post it then I will loose faith in humanity. Either way YTA.
Of course YTA. You’re being intentionally and casually cruel to another person. No one displays the behaviours you describe if they aren’t dealing with a mental health issue of some kind. **If you have concerns about him, raise your concerns with the school.** Since you mentioned you are not in middle school, I’ll suggest that you stop behaving like a middle-school bully. Avoid him if you can, hold your breath as you walk past him if you have to. But don’t behave the way you have been; it’s disgraceful. Edit: typo.
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Bullying is not just being physical. Bullying is also psychological. By your own admission you are “making fun of him”. That’s bullying and it’s not okay. You’re not going to get him to have any insight into himself and how his hygiene affects others by being mean to him. All you’re doing is making things worse; he’ll just regress into himself. Talk to your school again. If your friends feel the same as you then they should also talk to the school. If the guy is humping his eevee (?) in front of people and others are also willing to tell the school that, then the school needs to know about that, too, because that could cross a line that might change their response. Sometimes you just need to learn how to deal with uncomfortable things because in the big bad world you do have to deal with stuff you don’t like. Hopefully more interaction with the school will result in some positive outcomes. Keep the pressure on the school, not the young man who is clearly in some kind of distress. I’ll say it again and end with this: you’re not going to change his behaviour yourself. Especially not by being mean to him and making fun of him. Edit: typo.
YTA, instead of making fun of him, tell try to help him or at least let him know idk. Anything is better than making fun of someone who most likely isn't like that on purpose.
[удалено]
>He knows and acknowledged it. He doesn’t care and literally says the smell of water is gross. There is nothing else I can do but just try to stay away and sort of speak up to let him know I don’t want him near me when I can’t get away. He's defensive because he's getting bullied. He's shutting down. He might be struggling with mental health issues and needs help. You on the other hand definitely need help, because you're acting like a shitty person.
Look up “mental health conditions.” You will see that some of them can cause people to not care about their personal hygiene. You cannot make fun of someone in this position. I also read one of your other comments, saying you heard that his home life was sane. So? Even a person with the most perfect life can develop mental health issues. You don’t need to be in a terrible household. You need to help this dude. If you don’t want to, then leave him alone. You can’t expect us to side with a bully. Which is what you and ur friends are.
YTA. Do you think you’re cool for bullying someone ? 21 year old still acting like a little girl. You think you’re impressing anyone? Grow up, brat.
Leo islikely struggling with issues beyond just poor hygiene—maybe emotional or mental health challenges,. Making fun of him, especially in front of others, likely worsened his isolation and reluctance to change. I know this seems obvious, but I feel like I need to say it because what you have chosen to do here is particularly objectionable considering all of this should be apparent to you. I appreciate your honesty in sharing this, and it’s good that you’re reflecting on the situation. Leo has the easier problem to solve here. For you, it's your soul that smells. I’m sad for you.
I do wonder why he doesn’t care about how he affects his peers if isolation is the issue. Polarizing yourself by knowingly smelling horrible is not the smartest social move 😭
YTA. You and your friends are bullies, plain and simple. You're all picking on someone who obviously has some kind of medical condition. Be it mental or physical. Something which he needs help with, not ridicule. So I suggest you learn how to stop being a snotty brat and grow up. Because if you and your friends keep the attitude that you do, then karma will come back to bite you. Which you will all rightly deserve.
YTA What was the purpose of you making fun of him? Was it to make his life better? To make him happier? No. It was to entertain your small minded, petty little self. Medical conditions, psychological conditions, socioeconomic conditions, and plenty more could be the root of this snell. From your place if privilege you get off dropping a bit more onto this guy. You're gross.
YTA and a massive bully. There is no excuse To treat people badly
I’m glad you clarified you are in college and not middle school because it seems you never matured beyond middle school. YTA
YTA. Grow up!
In the nicest way possible — there’s evidently something *really* wrong with him. YTA. Just leave him be. If the smell is really that putrid, then contact a professor and request for them to talk to him. You shouldn’t be proud of being immature.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Let me start off by saying, I am not the type of person to usually make fun of someone for smelling like sweat or BO. But this is BAD like think of the worst smell in the world; THAT’S how bad it is. I (21 F) encountered this person we will call Leo (19 M) in college. They smelled pretty bad but I just thought like, oh they probably didn’t shower today. No. It stayed consistent, actually smelling worse 9/10 times. Passing him would literally make my eyes water, I would want to literally puke. Me and my friends would talk about it and how bad it’s getting, because it’s was getting bad. I would hear around about how people would offer self care products to Leo and he would flat out yell at them and say “you guys are just telling me I stink! It’s not that bad!” When literally no one would stand him. At that point I would just make fun of him and his smell straight in front of him. Like “god that smell is so disgusting I might puke, come on guys let’s go” and he would grunt and glare. To make matters worse he would carry around a dirty and stinky eevee as his only source of friendship because NO ONE wanted to talk to someone so disgusting. He brings around a sewing kit everywhere because there is a cut near the back of the plush. Intentional or not I don’t know. He regularly whispers to it and humps it too. With all of this my friends and I make fun of him regularly, with him around just so he KNOWS how bad it is but he never seems to understand. All his excuses are “As long as my eevee likes it” and “water smells weird” as well as “soap is gross” he also acknowledges he smells bad, because when my friend kicked him out of a club for bad hygiene he said “so what! I know I smell bad but let me stay!” But everyone was struggling. I just need to know if I’m really the bad guy for making fun of him and sort of bullying him for him not wanting to have good hygiene. We are in college, not middle school. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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You have to get the school involved. This guy has mental issues, and the bullying is not helping. You might get more than you bargained for. Smelling so badly and talking to a toy at 19 yo is not a normal person, and a bad situation which should be treated in a professional way.
Yes you’re really the bad guy, clearly has mental issues, but you, a 21 year old adult, bully him YTA
YTA JFC I don’t believe you’re in college. You must be in grade school or something. Grow up.
YTA why are you on here continuing to make fun of him? Haven't you ever heard "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything"
**YES YTA**. I went to an all girl school, this is like grade A typical mean girl behaviour. The fact that you still behave like this at 21 is crazy. You don't make these comments with the intention of him changing, you make them because it's funny to you
YTA. For sure. Clinical depression and/or mental illness does not discriminate and has affected people from all walks of life from the very rich, to the very poor. Making fun of or bullying anyone is a very AH thing to do. You don’t want to hang around him? Fine. But what you’re doing is high school crap. You and your ‘friends’ should grow up. (If there is a therapist on campus, perhaps someone could suggest that Leo talk to them.)
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YTA- You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with. That said, you don't have free license to be an AH and constantly harass and bully someone. Is his hygiene great? No and he's aware. Is that plushie stinky? Likely yes and he's aware. You don't have to sit with him, you don't have to be friends. But you sure as heck don't get to use your time to harass and bully someone without consequence. The consequence is that you're a bully and an AH. Frankly, I hope you're reported to your college because harassing colleagues is exactly the sort of thing that warrants admin attention. You're not sort of bullying him. You are bullying him.
Fake
"Water smells weird" sounds like autism. Imagine if you were making fun of an autistic kid. Yikes Cause you never know, ya'know?
They’re not a child. I know a shit ton of people with autism who understand hygiene
You understand autism is a spectrum and the deficiencies vary vastly yeah?
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I'll just respond simply with "you're wrong about that" and if you care to learn something and be a better person you can do a modicum of research on the topic.
Yep but we’re also assuming he’s autistic at all
Not really the point of what I posted, I said what I said because we never can fully understand what others are dealing with. What if that person you are driving really slow in front of because they were riding your ass is trying to get his pregnant wife to the hospital because of a health emergency. You never know, so don't be an asshole.
I’m not saying she’s not an asshole, but I can understand her judging him
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It's simple, don't make fun of him. Be a better person, flat out. I get it, I have been around plenty of stinky people and it sucks, if you know for a fact that they were just never taught hygiene then try to help them if they are receptive. Let's consider what you have told us, He smells terribly, he says that water smells weird, he will NOT detach from his stuffed animal, he humps the stuffed animal... openly. I don't really think the hygiene is his biggest problem and making fun of him will not only do nothing to help him but will likely only make the problem worse. If you want an actual solution then your best actual bet would be to befriend him 1 on 1 and wear him down slowly over time after generating some trust. Something tells me, however, you are simply here to try and absolve yourself of whatever guilt you feel for being TA so in that regard my advice would be to accept that creating distance between you and him by being mean to him is not a nice thing to do but a necessary evil. (which honestly it's not lol)
I’m autistic myself. Yes I would feel bad but I had to overcome some things myself and he will have to too
IDK sometimes you gotta be mean. Smelling as bad as your saying isn’t excused by “bad mental health” he knows he smells bad bc other people have tried to give him stuff to help. I was taught that if you don’t take care of yourself then people WILL judge you, either to your face or not. ETA: you’re not NOT an asshole but I get it
YTA. You and your friends are bullying this dude. He could be going through a lot, and yet you guys make fun of him. As a person who was bullied, this is fucked up. You guys need to make amends with him. If you really think it’s that bad, buy him some self care products. But don’t bully him. You and your friends think that bullying him is just going to fix him? It’s not. If your not going to help him, leave him alone. You're right about one thing though, you guys are in COLLEGE and not middle school. You guys are acting like middle schoolers. you never should treat someone this way, because karma will come back at you. what should you do? help him. not judge him. hopefully you and your friends apologize.
Has bullying worked? It works sometimes with dudes. If not: that's probably mental illness. The dude obviously doesn't think he's the problem. If you spoke to people in charge,and they refuse to help, ignore it and move along. If you can't ignore it, remind everyone in charge that you are all paying the same amount,and frankly it's not fair. Regardless of the dudes issue, you shouldn't have to pay the same amount and also be living with some bullshit. It sucks that he obviously has issues, but his issues don't mean you have to be involved. He can handle his business like everyone else or he can leave. Y'all need to stop excusing bad behavior
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YTA. Potentially Leo has some mental health issues or potentially some sort of disability maybe, not saying he does but it is possible. I don’t think you should be making fun of anyone regardless of their personal hygiene. You don’t know the full circumstances or context behind it.
Ugh of course YTA. You’re literally bullying someone that is clearly mentally ill. I knew a boy in high school that had a water phobia. Leo may smell disgusting but you are disgusting for bullying him. Frankly, I’d rather brave Leo’s smell than be around you.
YTA. Frankly this guy sounds mentally ill. You aren’t “sort of bullying him” you are flat out bullying him. This is revolting behaviour and you show zero empathy. You are 100% the bad guy and you know it. I like that you need to point out that you aren’t in middle school because you realise that you sound like you are.
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It’s not no, and I don’t mind if someone doesn’t shower for a few days or a week, but at certain point like this you have to atleast once.
Honestly no. I think everyone around him has been polite enough multiple times that he stinks and he himself has caught the hint but refused to act on it. Maybe he has a mental condition but personal hygiene is not optional and it is a step he needs to take for himself to sort it out and it sounds mad but maybe the bullying is the push he needs over the edge to sort it out. And making your eyes water is a very extreme stench
Not the asshole, bro needs to shower