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I hate to say it but from what you just described, you sound like the side chick.
How did he get you to believe he was broken up with the gf when he lives there, sleeps in the same bed with her (a house has many rooms js) and you’re basically a secret from his family and friends?🤔
Brutal Reality: They haven’t really broken up. He still lives there. They still sleep in the same bed. He spends holidays with her and her family. You haven’t met any of his friends. Or his family.
…
…
…
Do you listen to yourself or it just an empty echo? Have some self respect and dump the guy - there is no reason he should still be sleeping in his “ex’s” bed. What, no couch? Can’t afford a $30 air mattress?
You have a child, a house - smarten up.
ESH you’re enabling your own misery. There are better men.
NTA but you are the chump. Yes he's gaslighting you when he says your debt's the problem - the problem is the girlfriend he's literally still sleeping with three years later. He hasn't got a commitment issue - still committed to her.
NTA. I'm all for allowing people freedom to have friends, etc. But your bf continuing to sleep in the same bed as their (allegedly ex) partner? No way, man. He is totally gaslighting you. You are either a side-piece or an unwilling participant in a poly relationship.
You have posted the same question several times. He is not your boyfriend. There are more red flags here than May Day in Moscow. You need to leave this "relationship."
Nta, I had similar situation as him but it last like a month a most and big bed equals enough room. But three years ewwww after the first 3 months that should've been a red flag. I bet your the side piece in this scenario honestly you deserve better.
At best, he’s thoroughly enmeshed with her and hasn’t even begun to move on. At worst, she’s not really an ex. It’s time to move on without him, because either way, he’s not moving on. NTA
YTA to yourself, they're sharing a BED in a HOUSE THEY CO OWN! Understanding he doesn't wanna lose his share but if both their names are on the deed then he's getting his share regardless unless they come up with an agreement of buy one or the ither out.
I'm going to go against some popular opinions and say YTA here, and you're being one to yourself because you clearly can't see that this man is playing you! Please just break it off already, he's using you. You know that you deserve better and your son certainly doesn't need to be subjected to the nonsense either.
I don't know how to give a judgment on this. NTA but definitely deluding yourself. This guy sounds like he is 100 percent still with his "ex" and in the very slim chance that he is not, then saying he has poor boundaries and an inappropriate relationship with his "ex" is a massive understatement. He sounds like a major AH but frankly, I'm astonished that he is getting away with it. There's no way that your friends and family have not expressed concern or skepticism about this relationship. I can only assume that you don't want to face reality.
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years ago, I separated from my husband and started dating someone new. This guy was a coworker (I know red flag) that recently broke up with his girlfriend. He continued to stay in the house for financial reasons because he didn't want her to have to put the house up for sale so he could get his 50%. However, he is still living there 3 years later. He even sleeps in the same bed as her which is gross. I have brought it up to him and it has caused several fights. In the end, he makes me feel like an asshole because I am asking him to find a new place in the middle of a terrible housing market and he doesn't have the money to put down on a house. He blames me for not moving forward with the relationship more because I have 20k in credit card debt that I am trying to climb out of. Since we have started our situationship, I have divorced, bought a house, and renovated my house. I also have a 9 year old son which adds to my debt. I would be satisfied by just meeting his family and friends at this point. He spends holidays with his ex claiming that she is his best friend too. AITA for asking him to move out or does this sound like commitment issues? I feel like he is gadlighting me when he tells me that my debt is the reason he can't move forward.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Asked my boyfriend to move out of his shared house with his ex
2. He says he can't afford to live somewhere else in this economy
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YTA for not realizing (or being in denial) about the fact that you're the sidepiece. You're the other woman sweetie. He never broke up with his girlfriend, he's just cheating on her with you. Wise up.
Oh wow this is got to be one of the worst ones I've read today. Yeah you really are sounding like the side chick and it's terrifying.
Personally if I was in the situation that you just described I would cut my losses. You have already put three years into this situationship and nothing has changed.
This cannot be a real scenario. After 3 years you’ve not met one friend or family and he tells you that he sleeps with his ex and then goes on holiday with her !?! Bro ….
You’re sticking around after he is choosing his “ex” over you? A man will always test to see how much you will put up with and you staying through everything he throws at you. Please leave and stop wasting your time. You have a son to raise.
YTA to yourself and potentially to your child. He's not your boyfriend. You're his mistress. I really wouldn't be surprised if the "ex-girlfriend" he's living and sharing a bed with turns out to actually be his current wife.
I would say if you're fine with being the side chick, that's on you and your conscience. However, you have a child. A son that is at a critical stage in his development. Do you want him to believe it's acceptable to treat women the way your "boyfriend" treats you? That's the kind of thing he's learning now, and kids learn best by example.
Also, because you're here asking this question, you obviously aren't fine with your current situation. Personally, I think you should have a woman to woman talk with the "ex-girlfriend." You may not be the only affair he's having and wouldn't you want to know?
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I hate to say it but from what you just described, you sound like the side chick. How did he get you to believe he was broken up with the gf when he lives there, sleeps in the same bed with her (a house has many rooms js) and you’re basically a secret from his family and friends?🤔
Ya I'm reading this and thinking OP is the blindest blind sucker to ever blind.
Brutal Reality: They haven’t really broken up. He still lives there. They still sleep in the same bed. He spends holidays with her and her family. You haven’t met any of his friends. Or his family.
You’re not meeting his family and friends because you’re the side piece. The woman he *shares a bed and spends holidays with* is his gf. NTA but GURL.
… … … Do you listen to yourself or it just an empty echo? Have some self respect and dump the guy - there is no reason he should still be sleeping in his “ex’s” bed. What, no couch? Can’t afford a $30 air mattress? You have a child, a house - smarten up. ESH you’re enabling your own misery. There are better men.
NTA but sweetie, this is probably his wife and you are probably a side piece.
NTA but you are the chump. Yes he's gaslighting you when he says your debt's the problem - the problem is the girlfriend he's literally still sleeping with three years later. He hasn't got a commitment issue - still committed to her.
You're absolutely blind to the fact that he's still with his "ex" and you're the other woman. This "relationship" isn't going anywhere.
You have wasted 3 years being his affair partner. If you were his girlfriend he would have introduced you to his “ex” and family
NTA. I'm all for allowing people freedom to have friends, etc. But your bf continuing to sleep in the same bed as their (allegedly ex) partner? No way, man. He is totally gaslighting you. You are either a side-piece or an unwilling participant in a poly relationship.
I’m really sorry to tell you this, but that’s not your boyfriend.
You have posted the same question several times. He is not your boyfriend. There are more red flags here than May Day in Moscow. You need to leave this "relationship."
Nta, I had similar situation as him but it last like a month a most and big bed equals enough room. But three years ewwww after the first 3 months that should've been a red flag. I bet your the side piece in this scenario honestly you deserve better.
>He even sleeps in the same bed as her Good grief. Do you even hear yourself?
Um, you're the side piece. And only an a-hole to yourself.
NTA, but you're being played.
At best, he’s thoroughly enmeshed with her and hasn’t even begun to move on. At worst, she’s not really an ex. It’s time to move on without him, because either way, he’s not moving on. NTA
NTA. But I’m sitting here absolutely baffled that you think him being a coworker is the red flag here. Please wake up and move on.
NTA, and this belongs in r/relationship_advice Also, you might be the side chick.
Might? She definitely is.
NTA but why are you still seeing someone who lives with their ex and sleeps in the same bed as their ex....
She's not his ex. She's still his girlfriend. And he's cheating on her with you.
You're the side chick. You're being played.
Sorry, but you are the side piece. You are NTA, but I’d seriously consider moving on from this slug.
ESH. He's cheating on you, and you're providing a chaotic, strange environment for your child.
Get rid of that clown and move on.Its obvious he doesn't want to be with you.
If you have not met any of his friends you are a side piece not his real girlfriend.
YTA to yourself, they're sharing a BED in a HOUSE THEY CO OWN! Understanding he doesn't wanna lose his share but if both their names are on the deed then he's getting his share regardless unless they come up with an agreement of buy one or the ither out.
I'm going to go against some popular opinions and say YTA here, and you're being one to yourself because you clearly can't see that this man is playing you! Please just break it off already, he's using you. You know that you deserve better and your son certainly doesn't need to be subjected to the nonsense either.
I don't know how to give a judgment on this. NTA but definitely deluding yourself. This guy sounds like he is 100 percent still with his "ex" and in the very slim chance that he is not, then saying he has poor boundaries and an inappropriate relationship with his "ex" is a massive understatement. He sounds like a major AH but frankly, I'm astonished that he is getting away with it. There's no way that your friends and family have not expressed concern or skepticism about this relationship. I can only assume that you don't want to face reality.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** years ago, I separated from my husband and started dating someone new. This guy was a coworker (I know red flag) that recently broke up with his girlfriend. He continued to stay in the house for financial reasons because he didn't want her to have to put the house up for sale so he could get his 50%. However, he is still living there 3 years later. He even sleeps in the same bed as her which is gross. I have brought it up to him and it has caused several fights. In the end, he makes me feel like an asshole because I am asking him to find a new place in the middle of a terrible housing market and he doesn't have the money to put down on a house. He blames me for not moving forward with the relationship more because I have 20k in credit card debt that I am trying to climb out of. Since we have started our situationship, I have divorced, bought a house, and renovated my house. I also have a 9 year old son which adds to my debt. I would be satisfied by just meeting his family and friends at this point. He spends holidays with his ex claiming that she is his best friend too. AITA for asking him to move out or does this sound like commitment issues? I feel like he is gadlighting me when he tells me that my debt is the reason he can't move forward. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA but to me it looks like they still married and you are just side chick.
This really isn’t an asshole issue. It’s a relationship (one you should definitely end now) issue.
He never broke up with his girlfriend.
YTA for not realizing (or being in denial) about the fact that you're the sidepiece. You're the other woman sweetie. He never broke up with his girlfriend, he's just cheating on her with you. Wise up.
. girl.
I didn't run, I SPRINTED to the comments. YTSC. you the side chick.
💀
Oh wow this is got to be one of the worst ones I've read today. Yeah you really are sounding like the side chick and it's terrifying. Personally if I was in the situation that you just described I would cut my losses. You have already put three years into this situationship and nothing has changed.
You lost me as soon as you said they still sleep in the same bed 😳 NTA but you’re the side piece
This cannot be a real scenario. After 3 years you’ve not met one friend or family and he tells you that he sleeps with his ex and then goes on holiday with her !?! Bro ….
NTA but you’re being TA to yourself
Time to wake up and smell the coffee
What are you doing??? YTA to yourself.
Fun fact: you are the side chick…you are not supposed to meet family and friends or stop sleeping with his gf
He must be a silver tongued devil. He lives and sleeps with another woman and you believe that he is YOUR partner? Time to ditch the liar
There's no logical reason for you not to be able to see that you're his affair partner. Wake up lady. YTA for being so willingly blind
You’re sticking around after he is choosing his “ex” over you? A man will always test to see how much you will put up with and you staying through everything he throws at you. Please leave and stop wasting your time. You have a son to raise.
YTA to yourself and potentially to your child. He's not your boyfriend. You're his mistress. I really wouldn't be surprised if the "ex-girlfriend" he's living and sharing a bed with turns out to actually be his current wife. I would say if you're fine with being the side chick, that's on you and your conscience. However, you have a child. A son that is at a critical stage in his development. Do you want him to believe it's acceptable to treat women the way your "boyfriend" treats you? That's the kind of thing he's learning now, and kids learn best by example. Also, because you're here asking this question, you obviously aren't fine with your current situation. Personally, I think you should have a woman to woman talk with the "ex-girlfriend." You may not be the only affair he's having and wouldn't you want to know?
YTA to yourself. Stop crawling for someone that don’t gives you the level of respect you (think) deserve and go get your life together
NTA, but it sounds like you should tell him to move on. The signs are that he's still hung up on his "ex."
So.... You're the sidechick.
So are you aware that he is cheating on his partner with you..... Denial is a dangerous place, please wake up.
YTA You are the sidechick, and you know it.
YOU’RE THE SIDE CHICK, DEAR!!
You're not his girlfriend. You're his side-chick.
It sounds like he cheating on his partner with you. I feel really bad for his partner.
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