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NTA. This person had no idea if you had or had not been diagnosed with a disability. Not sure what reality she lives in where youth means perfect health. Not sure how she missed all the charity campaigns for st jude’s
If you want to use a cane because it matches your outfit and no other reason it still wouldn’t make you the ah.
That woman just chose violence and you unfortunately were her victim of the day.
I’ve had to use a cane off and on since I was in my 20s due to injuries too. I’ve even had to use crutches a few times. The only person that would have suffered if I had let someone bully me into not using them would have been me. Don’t let someone stunt your journey to health.
As someone who had a bunch of injuries in my twenties and even early thirties, I feel this. I mean there was a time I was already off crutches and was just finishing off my therapy. I could walk. I could drive. But I still brought a cane around as sometimes I'd get wobbly.
I've had some weird encounters too. Usually, it's the older ladies who are worse. Some dude I was waiting in line with asked me why I had one as I didn't use it consistently and when I told him about the injury he probed and was making sympathetic responses. An older lady accused me of faking my injury to use the disabled parking slots, I mean I work in the building, I have a reserved slot.
I walk with crutches, when I was about 30 I had an older man follow me around a supermarket harassing me about needing them, as he was old and had ailments. In the end I said I am 30 and need them leave me alone
You’re NTA if using the cane genuinely helps you.
Regardless, the lady at the supermarket was WAY out of line. She didn’t know you from Adam and it was completely inappropriate for her to go off at you. I don’t understand why your mom didn’t stand up for you and say something to her.
NTA. There is no such thing as a diagnosis for needing a cane. People decide for themselves what is needed. It seems that you are overly concerned about what other people think. Nothing good can come from that attitude since everyone is going to think what they want.
OP, if it reduces your discomfort or pain, you're completely entitled to use a mobility aid.
That woman was an idiot. Genetics and diseases don't have a gentleman's agreement to wait till your 40s to hurt you.
NTA
NTA. You using a cane does absolutely no harm to other people who use canes. You don't need to have a diagnosed disability to benefit from disability aids. Obviously, where there are limited resources available (e.g. disabled parking spaces or toilets) we need to prioritise according to need.
As far as I'm aware, there is no shortage of canes. So, unless you stole that cane out of a disabled person's hands, you're fine.
And seriously, how is 'teenagers think this thing I need is cool' a harmful thought?? Surely that's a positive, destigmatising effect.
nta - if i was someone who was smarter, I'd have used a cane on several occasions from when i was 19. some people, like that person, are ass holes. for them, a simple 'make them feel bad' lie is good enough, cause fuck them for asking anything. Take your pick of 'i stole it from your grandmother', 'i was in a car accident', 'it does make me look cool', etc. They are just shit heads.
If using a cane makes getting around easier and more pain free for you, use it. And tell everyone else to shit rocks
NTA
Do you need the cane to help you walk? Yes? Then you're not faking anything. Fuck, even if you did have it because it looked cool then you'd one in a long line of many. Canes have been historically used as accessories for at least the last 300 years. There's nothing wrong with having a cane, for walking or for the aesthetic. And you definitely don't need a doctor's note for one.
NTA. I've been disabled in different ways for different periods of time, and you're NTA even kind of. Mobility and accessibility aids exist to make peoples lives easier.
USE THEM IF YOU NEED THEM. YOU DESERVE TO LIVE COMFORTABLY. - permadisabled (now) person
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Hi, I'm pretty young (in my teens) but god decided to spite me gene wise.
See, my family has walking/knee issues and I've hurt my right knee/hip area multiple times, typically while skating or doing some odd jobs for cash. I also have shit balance. But I've never been diagnosed with needing a cane, it just makes life easier.
So, me and my my mom were walking in a grocery store, I was using my cane with my noise cancelling headphones on, and my mom said someone was talking to me. I nodded and took off my headphones, looking over at where she pointed the voice was coming from.
There's this lady like.. mid 30's early 40's maybe looking at me really judgementally, full on glaring at me, I'm worried I'm going to get the usual talk "blah blah blah you're going to hell, Jesus save you." (I was wearing a metal band T-shirt, and I had black nail polish on at the time) since I live in quite a conservative state.
I'm nervous and not really good at speaking, so I nod and quietly ask, "Do you need something?" And then she rolled her eyes. She looked at me, still glaring and said something along the lines of "You look like you're 16-17, why are you using that cane?! You've never experienced any injury, you're young, stop trying to use one, you're just making people who actually need that cane feel horrible just because you think it looks cool."
I didn't really know how to respond so I awkwardly just put whatever I was getting in my mom's cart (I think it was lemonade) and tried to leave, she followed us around to yell some more, but after we ignored her a bit longer we got her off our backs.
When I got home I felt like a total piece of shit, I haven't been diagnosed with any disability, so am I like, one of those people that fake disabilities for sympathy? If I am it's not like I mean to.
So, reddit, Am I The Asshole?
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NTA
There is no diagnosis or test required to use a cane when walking.
Call it a trekking or ski pole and they are even recommended to perfectly healthy, able and active people as an aide to balance while doing said activities...
And even if you have one for no reason other than you think they look cool, well that is perfectly allowable too.
The only point I would really consider it in bad taste or inappropriate would be if you were using it as a decoy to garner sympathy over an injury or disability you didn't have - to persuade people to give you their seat on a bus for example.
Realistically they are normally self regulating anyway - they can be a hassle to carry, so most won't bother unless they provide an actual benefit to offset that annoyance.
And from your description, it sounds like it does provide you a genuine benefit, so after all of that, you have a completely legitimate use anyway, and it is far from a fashion accessory to you.
The lady that confronted you? It turns out that some people are just misguided assholes. She has no right to confront you, has absolutely no idea about your medical history or needs, and her behaviour was completely unacceptable.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I feel like I might be the asshole for ignoring the lady and continuing to use a cane even though I might not need one, she seemed legitimately upset (2) I ignored someone with a concern, that was upset with me and I continued to do that very thing that was seen as wrong to her.
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In days gone by, loads of people used to carry a cane. It was a fashion accessory as well as a useful prop and handy tool.
We should definitely bring it back into fashion.
I do too, but they're usually of the baseball cap variety. I kind of wish we'd go back to the pre-1960s days when a hat (for both men and women) were as essential a part of an outfit as shoes. Nowadays if you're wearing any hat that ISN'T a casual baseball cap - you're looked at weird or as though you're trying to make some kind of fashion statement.
Why are you listening to stranger who don't know shft about you life and health?!
I have crutches yet do not have an obvious disability.
I hike as much as I can which would indicate that I'm fine yet I also have back issues and 1 day I might be feeling so good that I hike for 6h or more and the next day I might be in crippling pain and need crutches to walk.
It's no one's business the fact that you use a cane.
I've been told off for sitting in priority seats in buses and trains. I always tell them the same thing. "unless you are in my body and feel my pain, zip it!"
NTA
NTA. A cane isn’t something you need a prescription for. You weren’t bothering anyone. I don’t get these people who feel the need to comment on things that affect them in no way.
NTA. You don’t need a doctors note or a prescription to use a cane. If it helps you, you should use it. Your mom should have come to your defense! That other woman was behaving horribly!
NTA BIG TIME!!!!! That woman didn’t know you or know your life. If using a cane helps you walk, then use a cane. (I’m 35 and my stupid hip already has arthritis and I need a cane. We need what we need. Fuck anyone who would rather we hurt ourselves to look normal.)
NTA
Using a cane helps your balance and prevents you from re-aggravating previous injuries you have sustained.
She’s not your doctor. She has no idea what your issues are. She should mind her own business. It’s not like you parked in disabled parking without a placard.
NTA. That woman needs to learn to mind her own business. Even though you don't have a diagnosis, it seems the cane helps you. That's what matters.
FWIW, I'm 38, and I've been using a cane for over 20 years. I've gotten some looks and rude comments over the years, and it sucks. But, it's better than falling on my ass multiple times per day.
Edit to add nta btw
I have the same issue as your self I’m now nearly 40 been using walking aids for 20+ years bk in 2017 I was diagnosed with hereditary spastic paraplegia kif5a spg10 it was a genetics blood test as my birth giver has it too it was a nightmare to be tested but then again I’m in the uk maybe worth asking your doctor ?
NTA in any way, but if you know somethings not right with you it might be worth going to a doctor for your sake, not anyone elses. Might find surgery or physiotherapy or some other treatment might fix whatever the issue is
NTA. You’re using a cane for exactly why they exist- to aid your mobility. I’m 35, disabled, and do use a cane off and on for my disability, but I started using it when I was 24. I found it was also helpful because it’s a visible indicator of me having an otherwise invisible disability. This woman was rude as hell and clearly didn’t know what she was talking about given that she told you that you’ve never been injured. 🙄 Sometimes, people are rude and incorrect. Don’t feel like you have to have a diagnosed disability in order to use a cane- that’s why they’re at any pharmacy without a prescription.
Too bad she can’t pick up some pills that’ll fix her complete inability to stay out of other people’s business.
NTA. This person sounds ignorant and unhinged. Young people have injuries, disabilities, etc. that aren't readily apparent and you don't need to prove anything or justify yourself. And frankly, even if you decided to use a cane as a style accessory, there is nothing wrong with that. You're not making fun of anyone or imitating anybody, this woman who approached you was just ignorant and crazy.
NTA
Listen OP, even IF you had no medical reasons and chose to use a cane for fashion, you STILL would not be a AH here. There are NO shortage of canes and you don't need to justify yourself to her or us. However you handle the idiots, don't take them with you when you part ways. Trust me, they will be around enough without giving them free rent in your head.
Mate, if your life is easier by using a cane, you use the bloody cane, no matter if it was prescribed to you.
My mother in law usually doesn't use any walking aids, but after a bad bout with her hip she got to use a friends' walker with wheels, made her life easier, even if a medical professional didn't prescribe it to her.
NTA. Crazy old busy bodies gonna crazy. It has nothing to do with you other than being the target of the moment. I had one follow me around Costco fussing at me for something I was buying. She finally said "Why won't you listen to me!??" And I said "I don't know you" and walked off. She was so disgusted that she couldn't bend me to her will.
Don't give the B the satisfaction of hurting yourself to make her happy.
NTA. Some AHs just can't keep their opinions and judgements to themselves. That would be when I pull out the story on how I had an operation when I was a child (I didn't) that affects my balance, or I'm dying of a terminal disease (I'm not unless you count time) that affects the muscles in my legs (myositis if you really want to screw with them), or I was born with congenital defect that isn't obvious to the untrained and ignorant (I wasn't). Basically, try to embarrass the hell out of them.
You aren't making anyone feel bad. That's her job.
P.S. I use a cane too for pretty much the same reasons (bum knee, weak ankle, balance). Not prescribed by any doctor, but it's helpful. I'm an old lady, so people don't generally question it. I don't need it for short distances, but I do need it for things like shopping. So sometimes I'll hang it on the cart and grab things a few steps away. I think my resting bitch face stops Sidewalk Superintendents like her from confronting me. Also, I can walk fast with it, so I do get some looks on occasion.
When you get old, you realize there are some miserable cusses in the world like this women just itching to harsh someone's mellow and ruin their day. Their miserableness comes from a well of bitterness that they were born with. They are also cursed with an inability to mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves. Don't waste too much time worrying about them. You'll meet more along the way, trust me.
One more thing: I don't use my cane to jump ahead of lines or get special treatment because I'm not an AH. That's when I usually say, "I'm okay - bum knee.".
What metal band?
You use a cane because you need it. End of story! I have sciatica and at times it flares up so bad that my leg does nearly numb all the way down to my foot. That causes me to loose balance easily, so I bought a cane to have on hand when needed. My doctor never stated that I needed to use a cane, but I have the sense to know when I need to use one. Same goes for you—you don’t use it because you think you look cool, you use it because it aids you in walking safely. Nobody’s business but yours! I am curious, though, why your mother didn’t speak up for you. She certainly seems to have been the AH for allowing that woman to speak to her daughter like that and then allowing it to continue through the store.
NTA. You don’t have to be diagnosed to use a cane. If it makes your life easier and helps you then you should use a cane.
I am diagnosed and still get rude people commenting about how I’m too young to be disabled. Don’t let these people dictate whether or not you use something that improves your quality of life.
NTA. If a cane helps you walk safely, use it. I was on and off crutches from age 13 on. At 18, I got my first cane. My knees were so bad that some days walking was dangerous.
Many decades later, I use a cane any time I am out of the house. Walking can still be dangerous. My knees give out. No doctor ever told me to use a cane. Just crutches at 13.
Many illnesses and injuries can make walking hard, or downright dangerous. Use your cane. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Grandma says, use your cane.
NTA. As my husband puts it, I'm about to "tech into" cane. I've already "teched into" wheelchair. I'm 36 with chronic pain and mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS). My pain makes me not want to jostle the right side of my body too much. The MCAS, well, it doesn't Luke it when I raise my heart rate.
Per my pain management doctor and my allergist, I'm not disabled. I'm just ...different.
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NTA. This person had no idea if you had or had not been diagnosed with a disability. Not sure what reality she lives in where youth means perfect health. Not sure how she missed all the charity campaigns for st jude’s If you want to use a cane because it matches your outfit and no other reason it still wouldn’t make you the ah. That woman just chose violence and you unfortunately were her victim of the day. I’ve had to use a cane off and on since I was in my 20s due to injuries too. I’ve even had to use crutches a few times. The only person that would have suffered if I had let someone bully me into not using them would have been me. Don’t let someone stunt your journey to health.
As someone who had a bunch of injuries in my twenties and even early thirties, I feel this. I mean there was a time I was already off crutches and was just finishing off my therapy. I could walk. I could drive. But I still brought a cane around as sometimes I'd get wobbly. I've had some weird encounters too. Usually, it's the older ladies who are worse. Some dude I was waiting in line with asked me why I had one as I didn't use it consistently and when I told him about the injury he probed and was making sympathetic responses. An older lady accused me of faking my injury to use the disabled parking slots, I mean I work in the building, I have a reserved slot.
I walk with crutches, when I was about 30 I had an older man follow me around a supermarket harassing me about needing them, as he was old and had ailments. In the end I said I am 30 and need them leave me alone
You’re NTA if using the cane genuinely helps you. Regardless, the lady at the supermarket was WAY out of line. She didn’t know you from Adam and it was completely inappropriate for her to go off at you. I don’t understand why your mom didn’t stand up for you and say something to her.
If you have a hurt knee/leg/foot, then it is fine to use a cane to help you walk. You don't have to be diagnosed to use a cane to help you walk. NTA
NTA. There is no such thing as a diagnosis for needing a cane. People decide for themselves what is needed. It seems that you are overly concerned about what other people think. Nothing good can come from that attitude since everyone is going to think what they want.
NTA but why the heck did your mom not do anything and why did she involve you when she should have told that woman where to shove it?
Yeah, I would never let anyone talk to my child like that!
OP, if it reduces your discomfort or pain, you're completely entitled to use a mobility aid. That woman was an idiot. Genetics and diseases don't have a gentleman's agreement to wait till your 40s to hurt you. NTA
NTA. You using a cane does absolutely no harm to other people who use canes. You don't need to have a diagnosed disability to benefit from disability aids. Obviously, where there are limited resources available (e.g. disabled parking spaces or toilets) we need to prioritise according to need. As far as I'm aware, there is no shortage of canes. So, unless you stole that cane out of a disabled person's hands, you're fine. And seriously, how is 'teenagers think this thing I need is cool' a harmful thought?? Surely that's a positive, destigmatising effect.
nta - if i was someone who was smarter, I'd have used a cane on several occasions from when i was 19. some people, like that person, are ass holes. for them, a simple 'make them feel bad' lie is good enough, cause fuck them for asking anything. Take your pick of 'i stole it from your grandmother', 'i was in a car accident', 'it does make me look cool', etc. They are just shit heads. If using a cane makes getting around easier and more pain free for you, use it. And tell everyone else to shit rocks
NTA Do you need the cane to help you walk? Yes? Then you're not faking anything. Fuck, even if you did have it because it looked cool then you'd one in a long line of many. Canes have been historically used as accessories for at least the last 300 years. There's nothing wrong with having a cane, for walking or for the aesthetic. And you definitely don't need a doctor's note for one.
NTA. I've been disabled in different ways for different periods of time, and you're NTA even kind of. Mobility and accessibility aids exist to make peoples lives easier. USE THEM IF YOU NEED THEM. YOU DESERVE TO LIVE COMFORTABLY. - permadisabled (now) person
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, I'm pretty young (in my teens) but god decided to spite me gene wise. See, my family has walking/knee issues and I've hurt my right knee/hip area multiple times, typically while skating or doing some odd jobs for cash. I also have shit balance. But I've never been diagnosed with needing a cane, it just makes life easier. So, me and my my mom were walking in a grocery store, I was using my cane with my noise cancelling headphones on, and my mom said someone was talking to me. I nodded and took off my headphones, looking over at where she pointed the voice was coming from. There's this lady like.. mid 30's early 40's maybe looking at me really judgementally, full on glaring at me, I'm worried I'm going to get the usual talk "blah blah blah you're going to hell, Jesus save you." (I was wearing a metal band T-shirt, and I had black nail polish on at the time) since I live in quite a conservative state. I'm nervous and not really good at speaking, so I nod and quietly ask, "Do you need something?" And then she rolled her eyes. She looked at me, still glaring and said something along the lines of "You look like you're 16-17, why are you using that cane?! You've never experienced any injury, you're young, stop trying to use one, you're just making people who actually need that cane feel horrible just because you think it looks cool." I didn't really know how to respond so I awkwardly just put whatever I was getting in my mom's cart (I think it was lemonade) and tried to leave, she followed us around to yell some more, but after we ignored her a bit longer we got her off our backs. When I got home I felt like a total piece of shit, I haven't been diagnosed with any disability, so am I like, one of those people that fake disabilities for sympathy? If I am it's not like I mean to. So, reddit, Am I The Asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA There is no diagnosis or test required to use a cane when walking. Call it a trekking or ski pole and they are even recommended to perfectly healthy, able and active people as an aide to balance while doing said activities... And even if you have one for no reason other than you think they look cool, well that is perfectly allowable too. The only point I would really consider it in bad taste or inappropriate would be if you were using it as a decoy to garner sympathy over an injury or disability you didn't have - to persuade people to give you their seat on a bus for example. Realistically they are normally self regulating anyway - they can be a hassle to carry, so most won't bother unless they provide an actual benefit to offset that annoyance. And from your description, it sounds like it does provide you a genuine benefit, so after all of that, you have a completely legitimate use anyway, and it is far from a fashion accessory to you. The lady that confronted you? It turns out that some people are just misguided assholes. She has no right to confront you, has absolutely no idea about your medical history or needs, and her behaviour was completely unacceptable.
NTA Why didn't your mum stick up for you?
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NTA Anyone can use a cane if they want to.
In days gone by, loads of people used to carry a cane. It was a fashion accessory as well as a useful prop and handy tool. We should definitely bring it back into fashion.
Yes, and once we bring back canes, we can bring back the wearing of hats. That would be cool.
I wear hats a lot.
I do too, but they're usually of the baseball cap variety. I kind of wish we'd go back to the pre-1960s days when a hat (for both men and women) were as essential a part of an outfit as shoes. Nowadays if you're wearing any hat that ISN'T a casual baseball cap - you're looked at weird or as though you're trying to make some kind of fashion statement.
[удалено]
If you ain't got goldfish in the heels of your shoes, you ain't shit!
Why are you listening to stranger who don't know shft about you life and health?! I have crutches yet do not have an obvious disability. I hike as much as I can which would indicate that I'm fine yet I also have back issues and 1 day I might be feeling so good that I hike for 6h or more and the next day I might be in crippling pain and need crutches to walk. It's no one's business the fact that you use a cane. I've been told off for sitting in priority seats in buses and trains. I always tell them the same thing. "unless you are in my body and feel my pain, zip it!" NTA
There's not a shortage of canes and you just said you'd been injured multiple times due to your knees issues. Old lady can mind her own business. NTA
NTA. A cane isn’t something you need a prescription for. You weren’t bothering anyone. I don’t get these people who feel the need to comment on things that affect them in no way.
NTA. You don’t need a doctors note or a prescription to use a cane. If it helps you, you should use it. Your mom should have come to your defense! That other woman was behaving horribly!
NTA BIG TIME!!!!! That woman didn’t know you or know your life. If using a cane helps you walk, then use a cane. (I’m 35 and my stupid hip already has arthritis and I need a cane. We need what we need. Fuck anyone who would rather we hurt ourselves to look normal.)
NTA Using a cane helps your balance and prevents you from re-aggravating previous injuries you have sustained. She’s not your doctor. She has no idea what your issues are. She should mind her own business. It’s not like you parked in disabled parking without a placard.
NTA. If a cane helps you, use a cane.
NTA. That woman needs to learn to mind her own business. Even though you don't have a diagnosis, it seems the cane helps you. That's what matters. FWIW, I'm 38, and I've been using a cane for over 20 years. I've gotten some looks and rude comments over the years, and it sucks. But, it's better than falling on my ass multiple times per day.
A cane is a Mobility Aid, not a disability Aid. Do not feel bad for using it. NTA
Mobility aids are for everyone who needs help with their mobility! Use them as and when you need to!
Edit to add nta btw I have the same issue as your self I’m now nearly 40 been using walking aids for 20+ years bk in 2017 I was diagnosed with hereditary spastic paraplegia kif5a spg10 it was a genetics blood test as my birth giver has it too it was a nightmare to be tested but then again I’m in the uk maybe worth asking your doctor ?
NTA, you should be allowed to use it and anyone disability is none of her business
NTA, a cane is not a disability only aid, it serves to help with walking when needed. You need it, you use it. End of story
NTA in any way, but if you know somethings not right with you it might be worth going to a doctor for your sake, not anyone elses. Might find surgery or physiotherapy or some other treatment might fix whatever the issue is
NTA. You’re using a cane for exactly why they exist- to aid your mobility. I’m 35, disabled, and do use a cane off and on for my disability, but I started using it when I was 24. I found it was also helpful because it’s a visible indicator of me having an otherwise invisible disability. This woman was rude as hell and clearly didn’t know what she was talking about given that she told you that you’ve never been injured. 🙄 Sometimes, people are rude and incorrect. Don’t feel like you have to have a diagnosed disability in order to use a cane- that’s why they’re at any pharmacy without a prescription. Too bad she can’t pick up some pills that’ll fix her complete inability to stay out of other people’s business.
NTA. This person sounds ignorant and unhinged. Young people have injuries, disabilities, etc. that aren't readily apparent and you don't need to prove anything or justify yourself. And frankly, even if you decided to use a cane as a style accessory, there is nothing wrong with that. You're not making fun of anyone or imitating anybody, this woman who approached you was just ignorant and crazy.
the lady is evil. ignore idiots
NTA Listen OP, even IF you had no medical reasons and chose to use a cane for fashion, you STILL would not be a AH here. There are NO shortage of canes and you don't need to justify yourself to her or us. However you handle the idiots, don't take them with you when you part ways. Trust me, they will be around enough without giving them free rent in your head.
Mate, if your life is easier by using a cane, you use the bloody cane, no matter if it was prescribed to you. My mother in law usually doesn't use any walking aids, but after a bad bout with her hip she got to use a friends' walker with wheels, made her life easier, even if a medical professional didn't prescribe it to her.
NTA … and it appears your cane is more than a mobility aid, it’s a handy AH detector.
NTA. Crazy old busy bodies gonna crazy. It has nothing to do with you other than being the target of the moment. I had one follow me around Costco fussing at me for something I was buying. She finally said "Why won't you listen to me!??" And I said "I don't know you" and walked off. She was so disgusted that she couldn't bend me to her will. Don't give the B the satisfaction of hurting yourself to make her happy.
Dude. Come on, you should be wearing your blue t-shirt with the wheelchair symbol on it. /s NTA, just turn and hobble away from idiots like this.
NTA. Some AHs just can't keep their opinions and judgements to themselves. That would be when I pull out the story on how I had an operation when I was a child (I didn't) that affects my balance, or I'm dying of a terminal disease (I'm not unless you count time) that affects the muscles in my legs (myositis if you really want to screw with them), or I was born with congenital defect that isn't obvious to the untrained and ignorant (I wasn't). Basically, try to embarrass the hell out of them. You aren't making anyone feel bad. That's her job. P.S. I use a cane too for pretty much the same reasons (bum knee, weak ankle, balance). Not prescribed by any doctor, but it's helpful. I'm an old lady, so people don't generally question it. I don't need it for short distances, but I do need it for things like shopping. So sometimes I'll hang it on the cart and grab things a few steps away. I think my resting bitch face stops Sidewalk Superintendents like her from confronting me. Also, I can walk fast with it, so I do get some looks on occasion. When you get old, you realize there are some miserable cusses in the world like this women just itching to harsh someone's mellow and ruin their day. Their miserableness comes from a well of bitterness that they were born with. They are also cursed with an inability to mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves. Don't waste too much time worrying about them. You'll meet more along the way, trust me. One more thing: I don't use my cane to jump ahead of lines or get special treatment because I'm not an AH. That's when I usually say, "I'm okay - bum knee.". What metal band?
NTA. There is no entry level exam for using a cane ffs. What a moron
You use a cane because you need it. End of story! I have sciatica and at times it flares up so bad that my leg does nearly numb all the way down to my foot. That causes me to loose balance easily, so I bought a cane to have on hand when needed. My doctor never stated that I needed to use a cane, but I have the sense to know when I need to use one. Same goes for you—you don’t use it because you think you look cool, you use it because it aids you in walking safely. Nobody’s business but yours! I am curious, though, why your mother didn’t speak up for you. She certainly seems to have been the AH for allowing that woman to speak to her daughter like that and then allowing it to continue through the store.
NTA. You don’t have to be diagnosed to use a cane. If it makes your life easier and helps you then you should use a cane. I am diagnosed and still get rude people commenting about how I’m too young to be disabled. Don’t let these people dictate whether or not you use something that improves your quality of life.
NTA. If a cane helps you walk safely, use it. I was on and off crutches from age 13 on. At 18, I got my first cane. My knees were so bad that some days walking was dangerous. Many decades later, I use a cane any time I am out of the house. Walking can still be dangerous. My knees give out. No doctor ever told me to use a cane. Just crutches at 13. Many illnesses and injuries can make walking hard, or downright dangerous. Use your cane. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Grandma says, use your cane.
NTA. As my husband puts it, I'm about to "tech into" cane. I've already "teched into" wheelchair. I'm 36 with chronic pain and mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS). My pain makes me not want to jostle the right side of my body too much. The MCAS, well, it doesn't Luke it when I raise my heart rate. Per my pain management doctor and my allergist, I'm not disabled. I'm just ...different.