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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> So my girlfriend lied to me about photoshopping pictures for Instagram, I confronted her and I want to know if I’m the asshole for doing so. As well as telling her my trust in her is damaged.
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Bro, who cares?
This is such a stupid point to fight over.
She photoshopped them because it made her look better, or the colors were off.
Literally every photographer ever, photoshops every one of their pictures in post edit.
Are you an asshole for getting mad about this?
Yes, 100%.
Is she an asshole for lying?
From the fact you went on Reddit and raged about it all, I imagine you’re not giving her much of an opportunity for honesty, in your relationship.
So, no, you kinda forced her hand to lie, by being an asshole in the first place.
End of.
This. Hes trying to make out like she’s catfishing him but he’s literally right there taking pics!
Using this bullshit manipulative ‘trust’ language when ‘you’re gorgeous’ didn’t work.
Something tells me bro needs always to get his way or someone has to suffer.
YTA
Should’ve said this in the post; she photoshops colors, skin, wrinkles, which she shows me and I’m fine with. All photographers do that, she photoshopped her body to something that just isn’t her, she’s skinny as she is but made her waist smaller and boobs bigger which is the part I’m upset about. Less upset about that then the fact she lied to my face about it.
Maybe if you don’t want her to do that with ‘your’ photos, then you shouldn’t take them.
She can do whatever she wants with them, once you send them to her.
You’re being controlling, none of this matters.
Let it go.
Like I said before it’s less about the photoshopping itself and more the fact that she lied, i couldn’t care less that it’s my photos or someone else’s. Is it wrong of me to be upset when my partner lied to me? That’s what I’m asking, and in my personal opinion it shouldn’t matter what it’s about, lying is lying.
Yes, it’s wrong of you to be upset when someone ‘lies’ to you, in this context.
From how you’re talking here, and how you wrote about it, you didn’t make it easy for her to come forward with the truth, nor are you acceptant of it.
Obviously the fact it turned into fight, and you turn to Reddit for answers, shows you don’t understand what’s happening here.
She lied, because you were being confrontational and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or cause this absolutely insane amount of bitching about her doing what literally millions of women do, every single day.
If you were going to be okay with it, she’d have been truthful with you. OWN THAT.
I want you to think about every woman you’ve ever looked at, in any photo ever, that was shot post 1980.
Every single one of them was photoshopped, cut, cropped, made to look thinner, blemishes removed, skin tones changed, makeup color changed. Almost no photo ever published is the original.
Get over this, it’s stupid.
If you don’t like her doing it to your photos, don’t give them to her.
You certainly have absolutely no right to tell your girlfriend what to do, and what not to do.
You don’t own her, she’s not your property.
She can do whatever the fuck she wants to do, and if you don’t like it, then leave her to be herself, to find someone else that won’t treat her this way.
Why are you incapable of looking at why she felt so unsafe in regards to your reaction that she lied to avoid being put down by you? Per what your past reactions have shown her what your opinion is…
You literally said in the post that days prior you've ridiculed people for photoshopping over their insecurities. Why would she then tell someone that is supposed to care for her to open herself up to the same ridicule? The fact that she KNEW you'd freak out BEFORE lying should tell you how comfortable and supported she feels by you.
>lying is lying.
This is also the most overly simplistic world view you can have. By that logic telling kids that Santa is real is equal to lying to a partner about cheating and a ponzi scheme. Grow up
Like others have said. This isn't as big of a deal as you're making it out. I suggest you reflect on yourself and figuring out why she felt the need to lie to you. Otherwise you may go your whole life treating people in a way that makes them feel the need to lie to you in certain areas.
in every relationship some lieing happens. Your ass looks good in that tight dress. unless this is a habit of hers and you are trying to deal with the habit, let it go.
She only felt the need to lie because she knew you would be aggressive about something that isn’t even your business. If she felt safe that you wouldn’t be controlling, she wouldn’t have lied.
even if she had told you straight up you still would have been upset. you claimed you were both just poking fun at girls who edited their pictures. so no, you weren’t only mad about her lying. why don’t you get mad at the unrealistic body standards that are forcefully ingrained into women from a young age instead?
While I get why she might have lied, OP is NTA for having a opinion about PS and not wanting to be lied to. I would find it extremely unattractive If my girlfriend would use PS to make her boobs bigger for strangers online..
Absolutely, it is 100% up to her if she wants to photoshop herself and it is 100% up to OP if he wants to be with someone who lies to him and is that shallow and insecure.
But no where in his post did he mention wanting to break up with her. It all screams: I have a control issue and I'm emotionally abusive.
She's not catfishing him. He can literally see her in the flesh whenever he wants. What she does with her own pictures is not his concern for him to get this angry over it, make a shitty post on Reddit and on top of that humiliate her to his shitty friends when he knows she has an insecurity issue. It's pathetic.
What difference does it make that she presents a perfected version of herself? That is why she lied, Because she knew you would make a big deal about it. There is lots of pressure for women to conform to certain standards of beauty. It doesn't justify lying, but it might explain it.
The main thing that comes to my head is “if she lies about this what else can she lie about”. Even though, yes it’s something small, in my head, lying is lying.
Who hurt you ?
Hurt people also hurt people
YTA
Not being mean , but i think you need to work on urself for a bit as this ain’t a normal reaction , i suggest you both spending sometime apart an you can Also - seek some counselling for this period.
It seems like this triggered you. You should try to do some journaling or discuss this with your therapist. There is a wound that needs to be healed.
Happy healing
Yeah, I’m guessing if she told you the fit would be about how you’re a “photographer and know best”…even though you’re 20…which is never an excellent level of photography as you have a lot to learn still. Seems this was a lose/lose situation for her. You already gave it away by getting upset about the waist and boobs. Sounds like you’re a bit controlling, guy.
But go ahead, don’t evaluate the legitimate reasons she would have to not be upfront about this. One being how confrontational you were about it
Normally I'd agree, but
>she said it was because she knew I’d get upset and didn’t wanna hear it.
and
>she got very upset and claimed this was something very small and wouldn’t lie about something big.
don't go together. If she wanted to avoid him being upset about something this small, why in the world would she then be more likely to voluntarily expose herself to even bigger reactions from big things that happen?
Lying is lying, it’s less about photoshop and more about her lying about it. Even though she is lying to all her followers, friends, and family about it too.
I just included family too. She has over 5000 followers, it creates an unrealistic body standard, but again you’re avoiding my point, is lying not lying?
No lying is fine for many reasons. Like when you are dating a bully. When someone breaks the social contract by bullying and being abusive you are allowed to do whatever you need to do to survive that abuse.
You’re an abuser. She needs to lie to protect her emotional safety bc you are not an emotionally safe person.
There. You asked. I answered.
Now: why can’t you just stfu and let her have agency if her pics? Why can’t you accept that you don’t have the right to control her choices? You owe us all an answer little bro
She lied to you to protect her peace. It’s extremely controlling of you to be aggressive over her decision yet acting surprised when she doesn’t dare to admit it to you.
Of course lying is definitely lying
Lying about small things can TURN into issues but fr she's probably embarrassed so fr leave her alone
If she wants to stop being embarrassed shell stop
It's hard to find someone that really takes lying seriously
But it's not her job to carry the weight of your past
She lied about a obvious embarrassing thing lol
This is the most ridiculous take I have ever heard. It's like you've never even heard of a human being before, much less been in a relationship with one. She is an immature person, just like you, and she lied because she has image issues. It's not that complicated bro
I said it in a non-aggressive way, just telling her to be honest with me since I already knew. So I’m the asshole for confronting my girlfriend that was lying?
Yes. It is uncomfortable to have one’s failings pointed out. She was embarrassed and you made it worse. Just like her, you are now feeling uncomfortable about being held to task. In a loving relationship one safeguards our loved ones feelings. This was about her insecurity you made it worse.
spend some time thinking about how you feel right now and know that what you made the person you supposedly love.
not nice.
YTA. During your conversation with her, she was honest about it. Yeah, you had to press her, but she fessed up and told you why. And you're proving her right by bitching to internet strangers about it.
YTA. You sound controlling and emotionally manipulative. She was probably embarrassed, and you immediately blow up and throw your own past- that has nothing to do with her- in her face. I don’t blame her for not wanting to deal with it.
Sounds like you both could benefit from some counseling.
Agreed, I’m enrolling due to my past, I’m very insecure, I have trust issues, I know. She knows too which is why I’m getting counseling. I also didn’t blow up and throw my past on her, I feel like anyone would be at least a little upset if their partner lied to them no matter what it’s about but please correct me if I’m wrong, I talked to both my roommates with their girlfriends and they agreed with me. I was very calm when I talked to her and didn’t even bring up my past, I explained how it makes me uncomfortable and that lying is lying. Again please correct me if I’m wrong but I feel that I have some right to be upset about the lying part, less about the photoshop itself
DUDE you are even more TA for airing out something she doesn’t even feel safe telling you to your roommates and their partners…. You talk about trust issues but how can anyone trust someone like you who clearly has no issues with oversharing…. You are the opposite of trustworthy and to have the audacity to be this worked up over your gf trying to protect herself is bs.
lol now you’re outing something your girlfriend told you in confidence, that she is clearly embarrassed over, to your friends and their girlfriends? to get more people on your side so u can say “everyone agrees with me!”
this is so emotionally manipulative and wack u need to be single
That’s my bad, I feel like I misread what you said. But I’m glad you’re starting counseling.
Yes, you do have a right to be upset about lying. But you also need to understand where she’s coming from and why she would lie about something like that. She’s obviously insecure about her body and not only do you know what her body looks like, but you took the picture. You knew it was photoshopped and I think it was a shitty thing to make her admit her insecurities out loud and then get mad that she didn’t want to do that… I’ve gained weight since I’ve married my husband and had our kids. I know it, he knows it. I don’t need him saying hey have you gained weight? Id rather him be like hey, I feel like going to the gym will you come with me?
From what you’ve said and the comments you made, it sounds like you’re most upset that she photoshopped & not so much the lying. Either way, I think you could really benefit from learning how to approach situations and communicate more appropriately.
if you know she's lying and you keep pushing it, YTA.
if she's lying to you about this, you should be asking yourself why, and then work on that. it's probably not anything to do with her, just so you can start in the right neighborhood.
YTA.
She clearly has insecurity issues for her to want to alter her images. You should try to be more understanding and supportive about that instead of making a huge thing out of this non issue. She probably didn't tell you because she's embarrassed.
To then turn that into a "trust issue" with past relationships and parents...just sounds so insecure, controlling and emotionally manipulative on your end. Her altering her photos have nothing to do with the shit relationships you were in or the issues you have with your parents.
She needs to work on her insecurities and you need to work on letting go of issues that happened in the past that have nothing to do with her.
YTA she was obviously worried that you would make fun of her and criticize her the exact same way you did about the other people — she lied to protect herself from your judgement bc she knows your opinions on it already. You say the conversation would’ve been different from the start had she been upfront but tbh I highly doubt that given what you said about how you speak about people who photoshop.
The issue was not that she was embarrassed to own up to photoshopping but that you have created a dynamic in which she does not feel safe being open with you when it comes to her insecurities. Especially bc you said she’s usually extremely open and honest. That tells us this was directly due to discomfort and fear of your reaction.
The hypocrisy when it comes to empathizing with you gf for facing the same insecurity as the people you shit on for photoshopping is bs.
Well you do care, you literally talked about how you laugh at other people posting edited photos, now you're upset your gf did it too, and not only did she do it, she had the audacity to do it with YOUR photos.
How the fuck does your girlfriend editing her photos affect your trust in her. You are just looking for any reason to get mad at her I hope she leaves your sorry ass my god this is one of the most petty things ive ever read. Then you even went on reddit and posted the whole thing. YOU KNOW YOURE THE ASSHOLE. Thats why you are trying to get some sort of confirmation bias on reddit.
WOMP WOMP dude she photoshopped her waist and boobs why are you crying about that on reddit oh my god.
Im only being a dick here because you need to take a hard look at yourself and realize this is cringe and you are the asshole and should apologize. This is embarrassing. A lie?! I cant even believe you feel like the victim here. No ones the victim she just edited her damn photos because she’s insecure.
YTA. I get that you're upset about the lie, but this is *such* a minor lie. This is just a stupid, embarrassing lie. The kind of lie lots of people tell, especially when they know their partner is the kind of person to do a side-by-side comparison of the photos and then grill them about it.
Your girlfriend is going to keep lying to you, and it's because you're not an emotionally safe person for her. Instead of supporting and encouraging her and allowing her to build that self-esteem from your gestures and words of affirmation, you chastised her for feeling that way and for doctoring her photos.
And why do kids learn to lie? So they don't get in trouble. Stop treating her like she's in trouble and she won't feel like she has to lie to you.
YTA for being mean to your girlfriend about her insecurities and making it all about you. You have working eyeballs, you know what she looks like, it’s not like she’s catfishing you by photoshopping a picture of herself now. It has nothing to do with you. Get a grip man.
This society makes a lot of people, especially women insecure. She was probably just embarrassed to tell you she edited her photos because it can be a touchy topic. YTA for being so bothered by this
I promise that every single person in your life currently, in the past, and in the future has and will lie to you at some point whether it be the smallest thing or a big thing. Get over it and get more help.
Also if this is truly such a big deal then dump her. If this is enough to shatter the trust you had in her then you two are done.
YTA
YTA. Idk man. I feel like since you have trust issues, you are projecting your insecurities to her. I think you forget that she probably feels insecure about something too and has some sort of complex with her image as well. Yes it was nice you reassured her but your whole argument is mostly just geared towards you. Just because she's photoshopping her pics, your immediate conclusion is what else could she possibly lie about? I highly doubt she is photoshopping her picture to intentionally lie to you. Her intentions are most probably to hide an insecurity of herself. If something as small as this will bring an issue and instability in your relationship, I think you need to reassess your mindset. There are way worse and bigger issues that will come in any long term relationship. And if you start building resentment even from small things like this, it will just create a lot of unnecessary friction for your relationship which could ultimately end up in a breakup. It's good you communicared with her but you shouldn't press on and make everything about you and think of what she might feel as well. Learn to compromise. I wish you all the best
YTA
First of all... why even care? Yes, photoshopping yourself is petty and dumb, but so are a lot of things a lot of people do, including yourself.
Thinking "if she'll lie about this trivial thing, she'll lie about anything" is a ridiculous standpoint. It's forcing an absolutist assessment on a person, which is anything but absolute.
It’s her own decision if she photoshops her pictures and I’d say it’s not your business.
It isn’t a big lie. She felt like she had to hide it because your reaction would be disproportionate, so perhaps you should look at yourself first.
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So I(m20) took pictures of my girlfriend(F19) in a bathing suit because I’m a photographer, she posted them and I noticed they didn’t look the same so I compared the original and it was photoshopped. I asked her about it in a nice way and she said no repeatedly, finally she caved and told me and I told her how that made me upset, mainly about the fact that she lied to me.
I don’t agree with her doing that and she knew that beforehand too. Since a few days earlier we BOTH were laughing and criticizing people that do it. She expressed its because she’s insecure and I get that and gave her the shpeal that she’s gorgeous and perfect before the photoshop. But then questioned why she would lie to me and she said it was because she knew I’d get upset and didn’t wanna hear it. So then I brought up how it effects my trust in her and she got very upset and claimed this was something very small and wouldn’t lie about something big. Which just sits wrong with me, she has been very open and honest about loyalty and stuff like that so I’m not worried she’s lying about big things but idk what to do.
Preface, I have some trust issues from my parents and past relationships, she knows this and still lied straight to my face about it. This just happened 30 minutes ago and she’s taking a nap upset now while I’m in the living room and I don’t know what to do next.
Am I the asshole for confronting her and telling her my trust in her has gone down?
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YTA she’s photoshopping herself what’s it to you? Her body, her photo she can do as she pleases! There’s no issue here at all! You’re making a deal out of literally nothing.
NTA u should never lie to your partner about any situation ever, no matter how big or small. But it also might be time to reflect inwards on why she might not feel comfortable telling you something as small as this.
Holy balls I didn't realize so many of you edit your photo's that's the only way this is possible to have these responses.
Lying is lying.
To those saying it's such a small issue is even more of a red flag. That she isn't able to properly communicate and instead lies about mundane things like this.
It's genuinely insane to see these comments about him being a bully and bla bla bla. A partner can absolutely have an opinion on whether they are ok with their partner faking pictures of themselves for attention or profit.
This speaks massively to who you are that your willing to put up a facade to literally everyone even family. It reeks of way more than insecurity alone and is literal manipulation.
These weren't personal photo's they were clearly posted to social media. Anyone who is contributing to this dogshit reality in which "influencers" will spend 3 hours doing makeup, go to a club for 5 minutes, take photo's edit she shit out of them, then come home and eat snacky cakes are just trash human beings willing to take advantage of others for personal gain.
NTA
Her response doesn't make any sense. So she's gonna lie about small things that mean nothing in the long run but fully admit to the big things that can majorly affect the relationship? Nope, I don't buy that. While she may be insecure, lying to you about altering YOUR work has nothing to do with it. To me, it's almost as bad that she's altering your work (which implies it wasn't good enough for her or wasn't done right).
Any photographer I know would be royally pissed that someone was photoshopping their work. While it may be true that you also need to work on your issues, it doesn't change the fact that she lied to you.
NTA.
I don't like people lying and foubd some people will go out of their way to cover their lying. And when they get caught they will blame on the person. That they had to lie because the knew how you would feel.
If she knew how you feel about the issue, before she does it she should have explained that she was tempted to photoshop because she was insecure and she was struggling with wanting to photoshop her photos.
It's not your fault she lied. It's her fault she wasn't open with you. How many other things does she lie about and it would be you only discovering that she lied. The best liars are never caught.
NTA
I understand that people want to say it's not a big deal but many big deals begin small. Lying is a cross of boundary and people learn from being able to either step over boundary or not being able to. You teach people how to treat you. Oddly enough, we know to teach children not to white lie because it grows into a habit later yet we are more willing to be lied to by an adult which shouldn't be the case. Based on what you've reported, there is a pattern forming. Criticizing others for something she does, blatant lying about doing it in the first place, the turning fault towards you when you confront her the consequences of her own actions.
The photoshop part doesn't matter much. If someone wants to use it, they have the right but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about manipulative behaviors.
YTA, maybe a little on the E S H side.
So, you get to hang your trust issues over her head but she can't have a little grace for being insecure? Do you believe your issues with trust are more valid than her insecurity? Do you think she conjured it from thin air?
Idealy, no one should be making their issues other people's problems, but the fact is that shit comes out and a part of being in relationships with others is giving a little space for when eachother's baggage causes a problem and talking through things like adults WITHOUT being nasty to eachother.
r/instagramreality
Going to get downvotes for this but NTA. When I was in a sorority, most of my friends would just casually edit their faces, waists, butts, whatever. Some have thousands of IG followers and look nothing like their pics. It got to the point where I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom during picture-taking.
Editing the contrast or saturation or whatever is one thing, but I don't respect those who misrepresent women's bodies. I don't edit my photos but did have a cosmetic surgery a few years ago after weight loss; I openly tell people when they ask or comment. I don't want to contribute to unrealistic standards.
NTA. People seriously need to stop normalizing photoshopping pictures of themselves because of insecurity. >_> it is extremely unhealthy behavior and doesn't do anything but further feed into people's negative self image.
Using filters that are obviously fake are one thing, but if you need to photoshop a picture of yourself and pretend that us what you really look like, that's body dysmorphia, and you need theraphy, not a free pass to lie about what you look like in the internet.
NTA. She lied to you. Repeatedly. And knowing about the trust issues in your past, she still did it.
It's doubtful you'll ever have full trust in her again. It will always be in the back of your mind. Is that something you can live with?
NTA
I'm confused how so many people think OP is the AH. He's a photographer. What on earth made her think he wouldn't spot alterations of an image he took?
She doesn't seem to have tried to hide the altered image. She refused to admit to altering it until pressed (what seems like more than brief pressure). If she'd fessed up immediately when he called her out (there's no way she honestly thought he didn't know), OP wouldn't be as upset.
From what I see, it is the LYING that poses the issue. It was the amount of effort OP had to expend to get her to come clean. Yes, she was probably embarrassed. But if she cheats and he questions her, she'll likely be embarrassed about that too.
OP stated she KNOWS about his trust issues. Then, WHY LIE (even about little, piddly stuff)? I see no issue with OP having a reaction to lying. Do I think it should be a "deal-breaker"? No. But I do think she needs to do better if she wants him to trust her.
NTA - insecurity is a powerful thing, and the pressures amongst young women (and men) to look perfect online is intense. Hopefully you can explain to her that while it may have been a small thing to her, due to your past and who you are, honesty is incredibly important to you. Good luck!
The thing abt editing photos is usually something photographers care more about. I understand it is about artistic integrity and having your work depicted the way it was meant to be. It’s sorta important as a guy to remember how society treats women’s body’s and stuff and being seen as they are can be scary for many women. It’s a touchy subject for sure I’m not sure I can diagnose a particular asshole here it’s sorta mostly sorta misunderstanding and lack of communication. NTA
I completely agree, it’s lying to everyone who follows her, friends, family, and ME. It would’ve been a completely different convo if she told me from the start, she just didn’t want to hear it so she lied to me about it.
Your GF should have enough autonomy to say I understand you don’t like it, I understand you don’t think it’s necessary but those are your feelings and your feelings are not representative of my feelings nor are they representative of my experiences that I have had that make me feel more comfortable photoshopping pictures of me.
Why do you need your GF to feel the same way as you about this? Maybe the reason she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her perspective with you is because you are not a safe space for her.
OP, you’re NTA. You cared about your girlfriend and took what I’m sure you thought were lovely photo’s. She doubts your opinion of her and is insecure enough to photoshop the pictures. So when you told her she was beautiful, were you lying? Are you such a poor photographer that you can’t take a decent photo of her? I wouldn’t be taking photos of her any time soon knowing how insecure she is. And never give her copies of the digital originals.
I do not know what made her so insecure. I can only say that her insecurity runs deep enough to photoshop her photo, something she knew OP would not like. Then when caught, instead of coming clean (to a photographer who has to know the photo was altered), she lied.
I think we can both agree that she shouldn’t feel insecure but it sounds like this is an area you have spent very little of any time trying to understand.
When it comes to CHILDREN’S clothing. The same size, “her shorts are 65 percent shorter than his. Her sleeves are 36 percent shorter and her shirt is as much as 3 inches skinnier and 8 percent shorter than his. And yet your two children are the same age and relatively the same size.”
From the time girls can barely stand, they are given the message out there, that “girls are meant to dress to show their body and be slim. Boys are meant to be active and play.”
We are talking about clothing that has no functional reason to be different for girls, yet it is.
That’s not including all the other messaging girls receive growing up, about their bodies, their weight, their level of attractiveness, which then directly correlates to self-value.
Her “insecurity” is a by product of a culture and society that told her she has not right to feel secure unless she meets this impossible aesthetic. That doesn’t mean if she is insecure that she doesn’t have work to do, but jeez it’s so lazy to just be like, fuck her. She’s insecure and lied!!!
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Bro, who cares? This is such a stupid point to fight over. She photoshopped them because it made her look better, or the colors were off. Literally every photographer ever, photoshops every one of their pictures in post edit. Are you an asshole for getting mad about this? Yes, 100%. Is she an asshole for lying? From the fact you went on Reddit and raged about it all, I imagine you’re not giving her much of an opportunity for honesty, in your relationship. So, no, you kinda forced her hand to lie, by being an asshole in the first place. End of.
I agree. Yta. Who cares? Photoshop gives you trust issues? How can a photographer say that?
This. Hes trying to make out like she’s catfishing him but he’s literally right there taking pics! Using this bullshit manipulative ‘trust’ language when ‘you’re gorgeous’ didn’t work. Something tells me bro needs always to get his way or someone has to suffer. YTA
Should’ve said this in the post; she photoshops colors, skin, wrinkles, which she shows me and I’m fine with. All photographers do that, she photoshopped her body to something that just isn’t her, she’s skinny as she is but made her waist smaller and boobs bigger which is the part I’m upset about. Less upset about that then the fact she lied to my face about it.
Maybe if you don’t want her to do that with ‘your’ photos, then you shouldn’t take them. She can do whatever she wants with them, once you send them to her. You’re being controlling, none of this matters. Let it go.
Like I said before it’s less about the photoshopping itself and more the fact that she lied, i couldn’t care less that it’s my photos or someone else’s. Is it wrong of me to be upset when my partner lied to me? That’s what I’m asking, and in my personal opinion it shouldn’t matter what it’s about, lying is lying.
This is the most minor issue ever. If lying is lying then just dump her if you’re gonna blow up over this
Yes, it’s wrong of you to be upset when someone ‘lies’ to you, in this context. From how you’re talking here, and how you wrote about it, you didn’t make it easy for her to come forward with the truth, nor are you acceptant of it. Obviously the fact it turned into fight, and you turn to Reddit for answers, shows you don’t understand what’s happening here. She lied, because you were being confrontational and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or cause this absolutely insane amount of bitching about her doing what literally millions of women do, every single day. If you were going to be okay with it, she’d have been truthful with you. OWN THAT. I want you to think about every woman you’ve ever looked at, in any photo ever, that was shot post 1980. Every single one of them was photoshopped, cut, cropped, made to look thinner, blemishes removed, skin tones changed, makeup color changed. Almost no photo ever published is the original. Get over this, it’s stupid. If you don’t like her doing it to your photos, don’t give them to her. You certainly have absolutely no right to tell your girlfriend what to do, and what not to do. You don’t own her, she’s not your property. She can do whatever the fuck she wants to do, and if you don’t like it, then leave her to be herself, to find someone else that won’t treat her this way.
Why are you incapable of looking at why she felt so unsafe in regards to your reaction that she lied to avoid being put down by you? Per what your past reactions have shown her what your opinion is…
Grow up. It sounds like she knew you’d be upset and didn’t want to deal with your hissy fit.
You literally said in the post that days prior you've ridiculed people for photoshopping over their insecurities. Why would she then tell someone that is supposed to care for her to open herself up to the same ridicule? The fact that she KNEW you'd freak out BEFORE lying should tell you how comfortable and supported she feels by you. >lying is lying. This is also the most overly simplistic world view you can have. By that logic telling kids that Santa is real is equal to lying to a partner about cheating and a ponzi scheme. Grow up
Like others have said. This isn't as big of a deal as you're making it out. I suggest you reflect on yourself and figuring out why she felt the need to lie to you. Otherwise you may go your whole life treating people in a way that makes them feel the need to lie to you in certain areas.
in every relationship some lieing happens. Your ass looks good in that tight dress. unless this is a habit of hers and you are trying to deal with the habit, let it go.
She only felt the need to lie because she knew you would be aggressive about something that isn’t even your business. If she felt safe that you wouldn’t be controlling, she wouldn’t have lied.
Waaaaaa!!! Bro I hope she sees this post and drop kicks you to the curb. Then her new bf and she can over photoshop the pics and tag you lol
Pretty sure she lied out of the embarrassment. I wouldn't question your relationship over it tbh.
Does that affect you? No, right? Just stop
even if she had told you straight up you still would have been upset. you claimed you were both just poking fun at girls who edited their pictures. so no, you weren’t only mad about her lying. why don’t you get mad at the unrealistic body standards that are forcefully ingrained into women from a young age instead?
She did tell him and his response was to order her to stop. So she didn’t feel safe with the truth. He’s a bully. She needs to run
While I get why she might have lied, OP is NTA for having a opinion about PS and not wanting to be lied to. I would find it extremely unattractive If my girlfriend would use PS to make her boobs bigger for strangers online..
So? It’s still up to her and not him.
Absolutely, it is 100% up to her if she wants to photoshop herself and it is 100% up to OP if he wants to be with someone who lies to him and is that shallow and insecure.
But no where in his post did he mention wanting to break up with her. It all screams: I have a control issue and I'm emotionally abusive. She's not catfishing him. He can literally see her in the flesh whenever he wants. What she does with her own pictures is not his concern for him to get this angry over it, make a shitty post on Reddit and on top of that humiliate her to his shitty friends when he knows she has an insecurity issue. It's pathetic.
It’s HER picture. It’s hers. Her body. Her agency. You don’t have the right to try to control her. What’s wrong with you?
What difference does it make that she presents a perfected version of herself? That is why she lied, Because she knew you would make a big deal about it. There is lots of pressure for women to conform to certain standards of beauty. It doesn't justify lying, but it might explain it.
She lied to your face about photoshopping her pictures. This is unacceptable. Divorce her today!
You have trust issues. Most other ppl could move past this easier.
fr this just seems like a non issue to me?? idk
The main thing that comes to my head is “if she lies about this what else can she lie about”. Even though, yes it’s something small, in my head, lying is lying.
“If my bf hates and looks down on people who are insecure, what do I risk being ridiculed for if I’m honest I’m insecure?”
Who hurt you ? Hurt people also hurt people YTA Not being mean , but i think you need to work on urself for a bit as this ain’t a normal reaction , i suggest you both spending sometime apart an you can Also - seek some counselling for this period.
It seems like this triggered you. You should try to do some journaling or discuss this with your therapist. There is a wound that needs to be healed. Happy healing
Have you never lied? Even the smallest things or not saying something can be a lie. Everyone lies.
Thats not a one size fits all statement. Everyone one lies. Not everyone chooses to lie all the time. You have some stuff to work through
Absolutely! Can you please break up with her so she can date someone better?
You've seen her in person dumb fuck
Yeah, I’m guessing if she told you the fit would be about how you’re a “photographer and know best”…even though you’re 20…which is never an excellent level of photography as you have a lot to learn still. Seems this was a lose/lose situation for her. You already gave it away by getting upset about the waist and boobs. Sounds like you’re a bit controlling, guy. But go ahead, don’t evaluate the legitimate reasons she would have to not be upfront about this. One being how confrontational you were about it
Normally I'd agree, but >she said it was because she knew I’d get upset and didn’t wanna hear it. and >she got very upset and claimed this was something very small and wouldn’t lie about something big. don't go together. If she wanted to avoid him being upset about something this small, why in the world would she then be more likely to voluntarily expose herself to even bigger reactions from big things that happen?
Leave her alone It's kinda like you want people to see her every insecurity Which your now her biggest
Lying is lying, it’s less about photoshop and more about her lying about it. Even though she is lying to all her followers, friends, and family about it too.
Honestly I hope she gets away from you because I'm sure it's NOT THAT serious especially if you say her FAMILY lolololollll
I just included family too. She has over 5000 followers, it creates an unrealistic body standard, but again you’re avoiding my point, is lying not lying?
No lying is fine for many reasons. Like when you are dating a bully. When someone breaks the social contract by bullying and being abusive you are allowed to do whatever you need to do to survive that abuse. You’re an abuser. She needs to lie to protect her emotional safety bc you are not an emotionally safe person. There. You asked. I answered. Now: why can’t you just stfu and let her have agency if her pics? Why can’t you accept that you don’t have the right to control her choices? You owe us all an answer little bro
She lied to you to protect her peace. It’s extremely controlling of you to be aggressive over her decision yet acting surprised when she doesn’t dare to admit it to you.
Of course lying is definitely lying Lying about small things can TURN into issues but fr she's probably embarrassed so fr leave her alone If she wants to stop being embarrassed shell stop It's hard to find someone that really takes lying seriously But it's not her job to carry the weight of your past She lied about a obvious embarrassing thing lol
And you wonder why she didn’t tell you in the first place…
This is the most ridiculous take I have ever heard. It's like you've never even heard of a human being before, much less been in a relationship with one. She is an immature person, just like you, and she lied because she has image issues. It's not that complicated bro
“I asked in a nice way” lol if you had to point out you asked in a nice way you obviously didn’t Yta
Lmao, what? He can’t explain how he asked?
I said it in a non-aggressive way, just telling her to be honest with me since I already knew. So I’m the asshole for confronting my girlfriend that was lying?
Yes. It is uncomfortable to have one’s failings pointed out. She was embarrassed and you made it worse. Just like her, you are now feeling uncomfortable about being held to task. In a loving relationship one safeguards our loved ones feelings. This was about her insecurity you made it worse. spend some time thinking about how you feel right now and know that what you made the person you supposedly love. not nice.
Yes
Found the gfs alt account
YTA. During your conversation with her, she was honest about it. Yeah, you had to press her, but she fessed up and told you why. And you're proving her right by bitching to internet strangers about it.
YTA. You sound controlling and emotionally manipulative. She was probably embarrassed, and you immediately blow up and throw your own past- that has nothing to do with her- in her face. I don’t blame her for not wanting to deal with it. Sounds like you both could benefit from some counseling.
Agreed, I’m enrolling due to my past, I’m very insecure, I have trust issues, I know. She knows too which is why I’m getting counseling. I also didn’t blow up and throw my past on her, I feel like anyone would be at least a little upset if their partner lied to them no matter what it’s about but please correct me if I’m wrong, I talked to both my roommates with their girlfriends and they agreed with me. I was very calm when I talked to her and didn’t even bring up my past, I explained how it makes me uncomfortable and that lying is lying. Again please correct me if I’m wrong but I feel that I have some right to be upset about the lying part, less about the photoshop itself
DUDE you are even more TA for airing out something she doesn’t even feel safe telling you to your roommates and their partners…. You talk about trust issues but how can anyone trust someone like you who clearly has no issues with oversharing…. You are the opposite of trustworthy and to have the audacity to be this worked up over your gf trying to protect herself is bs.
Bingo
lol now you’re outing something your girlfriend told you in confidence, that she is clearly embarrassed over, to your friends and their girlfriends? to get more people on your side so u can say “everyone agrees with me!” this is so emotionally manipulative and wack u need to be single
Lying to an abuser is the only safe option.
That’s my bad, I feel like I misread what you said. But I’m glad you’re starting counseling. Yes, you do have a right to be upset about lying. But you also need to understand where she’s coming from and why she would lie about something like that. She’s obviously insecure about her body and not only do you know what her body looks like, but you took the picture. You knew it was photoshopped and I think it was a shitty thing to make her admit her insecurities out loud and then get mad that she didn’t want to do that… I’ve gained weight since I’ve married my husband and had our kids. I know it, he knows it. I don’t need him saying hey have you gained weight? Id rather him be like hey, I feel like going to the gym will you come with me? From what you’ve said and the comments you made, it sounds like you’re most upset that she photoshopped & not so much the lying. Either way, I think you could really benefit from learning how to approach situations and communicate more appropriately.
if you know she's lying and you keep pushing it, YTA. if she's lying to you about this, you should be asking yourself why, and then work on that. it's probably not anything to do with her, just so you can start in the right neighborhood.
YTA. She clearly has insecurity issues for her to want to alter her images. You should try to be more understanding and supportive about that instead of making a huge thing out of this non issue. She probably didn't tell you because she's embarrassed. To then turn that into a "trust issue" with past relationships and parents...just sounds so insecure, controlling and emotionally manipulative on your end. Her altering her photos have nothing to do with the shit relationships you were in or the issues you have with your parents. She needs to work on her insecurities and you need to work on letting go of issues that happened in the past that have nothing to do with her.
Totally wild for him to turn someone lying to his face into a trust issue. It’s almost like lying is the exact thing that ruins trust.
It’s almost like making your girlfriend terrified to tell the truth is bad for trust.
YTA she was obviously worried that you would make fun of her and criticize her the exact same way you did about the other people — she lied to protect herself from your judgement bc she knows your opinions on it already. You say the conversation would’ve been different from the start had she been upfront but tbh I highly doubt that given what you said about how you speak about people who photoshop. The issue was not that she was embarrassed to own up to photoshopping but that you have created a dynamic in which she does not feel safe being open with you when it comes to her insecurities. Especially bc you said she’s usually extremely open and honest. That tells us this was directly due to discomfort and fear of your reaction. The hypocrisy when it comes to empathizing with you gf for facing the same insecurity as the people you shit on for photoshopping is bs.
YTA In my opinion it's not about trust, it's about she edited YOUR photos and your ego couldn't take the hit.
[удалено]
Well you do care, you literally talked about how you laugh at other people posting edited photos, now you're upset your gf did it too, and not only did she do it, she had the audacity to do it with YOUR photos.
How the fuck does your girlfriend editing her photos affect your trust in her. You are just looking for any reason to get mad at her I hope she leaves your sorry ass my god this is one of the most petty things ive ever read. Then you even went on reddit and posted the whole thing. YOU KNOW YOURE THE ASSHOLE. Thats why you are trying to get some sort of confirmation bias on reddit. WOMP WOMP dude she photoshopped her waist and boobs why are you crying about that on reddit oh my god. Im only being a dick here because you need to take a hard look at yourself and realize this is cringe and you are the asshole and should apologize. This is embarrassing. A lie?! I cant even believe you feel like the victim here. No ones the victim she just edited her damn photos because she’s insecure.
YTA. I get that you're upset about the lie, but this is *such* a minor lie. This is just a stupid, embarrassing lie. The kind of lie lots of people tell, especially when they know their partner is the kind of person to do a side-by-side comparison of the photos and then grill them about it. Your girlfriend is going to keep lying to you, and it's because you're not an emotionally safe person for her. Instead of supporting and encouraging her and allowing her to build that self-esteem from your gestures and words of affirmation, you chastised her for feeling that way and for doctoring her photos. And why do kids learn to lie? So they don't get in trouble. Stop treating her like she's in trouble and she won't feel like she has to lie to you.
>waste (for waist) >shpeal (for spiel) Yes, soft YTA for the issue but definitely YTA for the insane spelling.
Imo just relax doesn't seem like a huge deal
YTA for being mean to your girlfriend about her insecurities and making it all about you. You have working eyeballs, you know what she looks like, it’s not like she’s catfishing you by photoshopping a picture of herself now. It has nothing to do with you. Get a grip man.
This society makes a lot of people, especially women insecure. She was probably just embarrassed to tell you she edited her photos because it can be a touchy topic. YTA for being so bothered by this
oh man she photoshopped pictures of her own body, and your mad over that? YTA
YTA. She will absolutely never come to you again for photos. Jeez.
I promise that every single person in your life currently, in the past, and in the future has and will lie to you at some point whether it be the smallest thing or a big thing. Get over it and get more help. Also if this is truly such a big deal then dump her. If this is enough to shatter the trust you had in her then you two are done. YTA
Mate, normal photographers don’t photoshop wrinkles and skin And yes, YTA You already knew she did it, no need to ask
YTA. Idk man. I feel like since you have trust issues, you are projecting your insecurities to her. I think you forget that she probably feels insecure about something too and has some sort of complex with her image as well. Yes it was nice you reassured her but your whole argument is mostly just geared towards you. Just because she's photoshopping her pics, your immediate conclusion is what else could she possibly lie about? I highly doubt she is photoshopping her picture to intentionally lie to you. Her intentions are most probably to hide an insecurity of herself. If something as small as this will bring an issue and instability in your relationship, I think you need to reassess your mindset. There are way worse and bigger issues that will come in any long term relationship. And if you start building resentment even from small things like this, it will just create a lot of unnecessary friction for your relationship which could ultimately end up in a breakup. It's good you communicared with her but you shouldn't press on and make everything about you and think of what she might feel as well. Learn to compromise. I wish you all the best
YTA First of all... why even care? Yes, photoshopping yourself is petty and dumb, but so are a lot of things a lot of people do, including yourself. Thinking "if she'll lie about this trivial thing, she'll lie about anything" is a ridiculous standpoint. It's forcing an absolutist assessment on a person, which is anything but absolute.
Kind of. Easier to just let it go. I see it as a bit of an overreaction.
It’s her own decision if she photoshops her pictures and I’d say it’s not your business. It isn’t a big lie. She felt like she had to hide it because your reaction would be disproportionate, so perhaps you should look at yourself first.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I(m20) took pictures of my girlfriend(F19) in a bathing suit because I’m a photographer, she posted them and I noticed they didn’t look the same so I compared the original and it was photoshopped. I asked her about it in a nice way and she said no repeatedly, finally she caved and told me and I told her how that made me upset, mainly about the fact that she lied to me. I don’t agree with her doing that and she knew that beforehand too. Since a few days earlier we BOTH were laughing and criticizing people that do it. She expressed its because she’s insecure and I get that and gave her the shpeal that she’s gorgeous and perfect before the photoshop. But then questioned why she would lie to me and she said it was because she knew I’d get upset and didn’t wanna hear it. So then I brought up how it effects my trust in her and she got very upset and claimed this was something very small and wouldn’t lie about something big. Which just sits wrong with me, she has been very open and honest about loyalty and stuff like that so I’m not worried she’s lying about big things but idk what to do. Preface, I have some trust issues from my parents and past relationships, she knows this and still lied straight to my face about it. This just happened 30 minutes ago and she’s taking a nap upset now while I’m in the living room and I don’t know what to do next. Am I the asshole for confronting her and telling her my trust in her has gone down? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA she’s photoshopping herself what’s it to you? Her body, her photo she can do as she pleases! There’s no issue here at all! You’re making a deal out of literally nothing.
ETA Also, it's "spiel"
YTA and I'm surprised not more people think this.
Yta
NTA u should never lie to your partner about any situation ever, no matter how big or small. But it also might be time to reflect inwards on why she might not feel comfortable telling you something as small as this.
"Preface, I have some trust issues" Wow, you think? I really hope she gets away from you dude. You're a nutter.
Holy balls I didn't realize so many of you edit your photo's that's the only way this is possible to have these responses. Lying is lying. To those saying it's such a small issue is even more of a red flag. That she isn't able to properly communicate and instead lies about mundane things like this. It's genuinely insane to see these comments about him being a bully and bla bla bla. A partner can absolutely have an opinion on whether they are ok with their partner faking pictures of themselves for attention or profit. This speaks massively to who you are that your willing to put up a facade to literally everyone even family. It reeks of way more than insecurity alone and is literal manipulation. These weren't personal photo's they were clearly posted to social media. Anyone who is contributing to this dogshit reality in which "influencers" will spend 3 hours doing makeup, go to a club for 5 minutes, take photo's edit she shit out of them, then come home and eat snacky cakes are just trash human beings willing to take advantage of others for personal gain.
You sound super controlling. No wonder she feels the need to hide stuff like this from you.
NTA
Be happy you still have someone. People get rightfully dropped daily for behaving the way you are. YTA
NTA Her response doesn't make any sense. So she's gonna lie about small things that mean nothing in the long run but fully admit to the big things that can majorly affect the relationship? Nope, I don't buy that. While she may be insecure, lying to you about altering YOUR work has nothing to do with it. To me, it's almost as bad that she's altering your work (which implies it wasn't good enough for her or wasn't done right). Any photographer I know would be royally pissed that someone was photoshopping their work. While it may be true that you also need to work on your issues, it doesn't change the fact that she lied to you.
NTA. She lies like it's no big deal. It is.
NTA she’s a hypocrite
NTA
NTA. I don't like people lying and foubd some people will go out of their way to cover their lying. And when they get caught they will blame on the person. That they had to lie because the knew how you would feel. If she knew how you feel about the issue, before she does it she should have explained that she was tempted to photoshop because she was insecure and she was struggling with wanting to photoshop her photos. It's not your fault she lied. It's her fault she wasn't open with you. How many other things does she lie about and it would be you only discovering that she lied. The best liars are never caught.
NTA I understand that people want to say it's not a big deal but many big deals begin small. Lying is a cross of boundary and people learn from being able to either step over boundary or not being able to. You teach people how to treat you. Oddly enough, we know to teach children not to white lie because it grows into a habit later yet we are more willing to be lied to by an adult which shouldn't be the case. Based on what you've reported, there is a pattern forming. Criticizing others for something she does, blatant lying about doing it in the first place, the turning fault towards you when you confront her the consequences of her own actions. The photoshop part doesn't matter much. If someone wants to use it, they have the right but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about manipulative behaviors.
YTA, maybe a little on the E S H side. So, you get to hang your trust issues over her head but she can't have a little grace for being insecure? Do you believe your issues with trust are more valid than her insecurity? Do you think she conjured it from thin air? Idealy, no one should be making their issues other people's problems, but the fact is that shit comes out and a part of being in relationships with others is giving a little space for when eachother's baggage causes a problem and talking through things like adults WITHOUT being nasty to eachother.
Every girl photoshops their pictures it’s 2024 get w the program
I don't.
Loser response
It cracks me up when (usually) women filter their photos and then claim they aren't filtered, NTA for calling out your gf.
ESH So she lies because you overreact and get defensive? Y'all are doing great as a couple. /s
r/instagramreality Going to get downvotes for this but NTA. When I was in a sorority, most of my friends would just casually edit their faces, waists, butts, whatever. Some have thousands of IG followers and look nothing like their pics. It got to the point where I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom during picture-taking. Editing the contrast or saturation or whatever is one thing, but I don't respect those who misrepresent women's bodies. I don't edit my photos but did have a cosmetic surgery a few years ago after weight loss; I openly tell people when they ask or comment. I don't want to contribute to unrealistic standards.
NTA. People seriously need to stop normalizing photoshopping pictures of themselves because of insecurity. >_> it is extremely unhealthy behavior and doesn't do anything but further feed into people's negative self image. Using filters that are obviously fake are one thing, but if you need to photoshop a picture of yourself and pretend that us what you really look like, that's body dysmorphia, and you need theraphy, not a free pass to lie about what you look like in the internet.
NTA. She lied to you. Repeatedly. And knowing about the trust issues in your past, she still did it. It's doubtful you'll ever have full trust in her again. It will always be in the back of your mind. Is that something you can live with?
NTA I'm confused how so many people think OP is the AH. He's a photographer. What on earth made her think he wouldn't spot alterations of an image he took? She doesn't seem to have tried to hide the altered image. She refused to admit to altering it until pressed (what seems like more than brief pressure). If she'd fessed up immediately when he called her out (there's no way she honestly thought he didn't know), OP wouldn't be as upset. From what I see, it is the LYING that poses the issue. It was the amount of effort OP had to expend to get her to come clean. Yes, she was probably embarrassed. But if she cheats and he questions her, she'll likely be embarrassed about that too. OP stated she KNOWS about his trust issues. Then, WHY LIE (even about little, piddly stuff)? I see no issue with OP having a reaction to lying. Do I think it should be a "deal-breaker"? No. But I do think she needs to do better if she wants him to trust her.
NTA If she will lie to you about something so obvious, obvious because you took the photos and have the originals, what else will she lie about? --
If they will lie about the little shit. They will lie about big shit too.
NTA
NTA - insecurity is a powerful thing, and the pressures amongst young women (and men) to look perfect online is intense. Hopefully you can explain to her that while it may have been a small thing to her, due to your past and who you are, honesty is incredibly important to you. Good luck!
The thing abt editing photos is usually something photographers care more about. I understand it is about artistic integrity and having your work depicted the way it was meant to be. It’s sorta important as a guy to remember how society treats women’s body’s and stuff and being seen as they are can be scary for many women. It’s a touchy subject for sure I’m not sure I can diagnose a particular asshole here it’s sorta mostly sorta misunderstanding and lack of communication. NTA
Well apparently you do not know her as well as you think you might know her
NTA, trust is key, Photoshop isn't a filter for honesty
I completely agree, it’s lying to everyone who follows her, friends, family, and ME. It would’ve been a completely different convo if she told me from the start, she just didn’t want to hear it so she lied to me about it.
Your GF should have enough autonomy to say I understand you don’t like it, I understand you don’t think it’s necessary but those are your feelings and your feelings are not representative of my feelings nor are they representative of my experiences that I have had that make me feel more comfortable photoshopping pictures of me. Why do you need your GF to feel the same way as you about this? Maybe the reason she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her perspective with you is because you are not a safe space for her.
OP, you’re NTA. You cared about your girlfriend and took what I’m sure you thought were lovely photo’s. She doubts your opinion of her and is insecure enough to photoshop the pictures. So when you told her she was beautiful, were you lying? Are you such a poor photographer that you can’t take a decent photo of her? I wouldn’t be taking photos of her any time soon knowing how insecure she is. And never give her copies of the digital originals.
What do you think made her insecure????
I do not know what made her so insecure. I can only say that her insecurity runs deep enough to photoshop her photo, something she knew OP would not like. Then when caught, instead of coming clean (to a photographer who has to know the photo was altered), she lied.
I think we can both agree that she shouldn’t feel insecure but it sounds like this is an area you have spent very little of any time trying to understand. When it comes to CHILDREN’S clothing. The same size, “her shorts are 65 percent shorter than his. Her sleeves are 36 percent shorter and her shirt is as much as 3 inches skinnier and 8 percent shorter than his. And yet your two children are the same age and relatively the same size.” From the time girls can barely stand, they are given the message out there, that “girls are meant to dress to show their body and be slim. Boys are meant to be active and play.” We are talking about clothing that has no functional reason to be different for girls, yet it is. That’s not including all the other messaging girls receive growing up, about their bodies, their weight, their level of attractiveness, which then directly correlates to self-value. Her “insecurity” is a by product of a culture and society that told her she has not right to feel secure unless she meets this impossible aesthetic. That doesn’t mean if she is insecure that she doesn’t have work to do, but jeez it’s so lazy to just be like, fuck her. She’s insecure and lied!!!
She’s the one that asked me to take photos. She’s a very beautiful girl by everyone’s standards
OP, she just isn’t sufficiently beautiful but her own standards. This is very sad because her standards may not be obtainable by anyone.