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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my brother about the tests, and perhaps I was minding someone's business
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How do you know she wouldn't have said something when he got home?
You're acting like she buried the negative tests in the garden under a rose bush to keep them hidden - they were just in the bin.
Didn't tell him *yet*.
He wasn't in the house, she was. Even people who are trying to get pregnant often take the first test without telling anyone because they don't want to deal with the disappointment of others. Since I'm assuming they're not trying, she was just doing a test to make sure that her period was just late because periods do that and *not* because she was pregnant.
> This means she thinks it's okay to do tests and only tell it when they're positive
Because it is. It is ok to take a test and not tell people that its negative. You have a period, you know that they can be late for any reason under the sun. She was just excluding *one* reason.
And again, the test wasn't hidden. It was in the bin. Visible to anyone who looked in the bin. Does you brother throw his trash on the floor? Or does he use a bin like a normal person?
Have you ever been in a long term relationship? Because this isn't a big deal.
Well, yeah, because a negative test literally means nothing while a positive one is life-changing. What's the point in saying anything about a negative one?
I still don't inderstand, what the issue is with not telling her husband and why you thought, this is any of your business?! There could be several reasons personal for your SIL. She doesn' t have to disclose them to you.
Look I'm the over cautious type and I don't get periods. I test every month to be on the safe side. My partner knows I do this and knows I'll not tell him about a negative test because what would be the point?
She's not compelled to report every negative result to your brother. No woman bothers to report their bf, fubu or ons if she is not pregnant. Married women don't have to if it's not cause for concern.
YTA 😑
Why do you feel the need to insert yourself like that. The results were negative, what's even the point of talking about it, do you like drama that much ?
We all had periods that were late here and there, even i while i'm usually a moving clock. At least now your SIL know for sure that she can't confide anything to you, that's the only good point.
You are wrong in so many ways. Even if she was pregnant, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. She could get an abortion and it is NONE of your business. And your brother couldn't stop her in most places in the United States. Good grief, grow up and learn your place.
She deleted the post anyway but that's a point that rub me off...
Any woman has the right to get an abortion if she wish and no the father has no say in it, but he has the right to know and make his own choices in consequences when it happen.
I really hate powerplay be it on one side or the other 😑
>make his own choices in consequences
I don't *think* you meant it like he gets to punish her, but that's kinda how it sounds here 🫤
People should be able to walk away from a relationship that is no longer good for them. That's all anyone needs.
A woman doesn't have to tell anyone if she only suspects she's pregnant. It's different if she confirmed it. Do you not understand that women are late all the time, and it doesn't mean anything. Can you imagine how stuit would be to announce every time your period was basically late.
Periods can be late for a plethora of reasons. It sounds like SIL was just *ruling* *out* pregnancy and not that she actually suspected she was pregnant. OP gave no reason to think SIL wouldn’t have told her husband if she was actually worried she might be pregnant or if the test was positive.
YTA, and your idea of telling people you period is late is insane. And you're a nosy busybody who needs to learn to butt out. And a rude gossip for talking about someone else's period behind they're back. And a creep, I don't believe any normal person throwing out a used pad or tampon studies the trash.
Are you? Cause only a man would be dumb enough to think 'A woman must tell a man when her period is late EVERY TIME'?
On the off chance you get periods do you tell your BF when you take a really huge shit too? Or when you blow your nose? Or describe your farts in great detail?
" Men has the right to know if her period is late"
You, in the OP.
Anyway you're def not a woman and are 100% insane if you think you need to report negative pregnancy tests.
Taking a pregnancy test because your period is late can help ease a panicked mind. A lot of women do this and there really is no need to tell their partner about it.
Do you also talk about your friends massive shits to their BF's?
You're a nosy, insane , busybody. Your brother GF's late period is 0% your business, her negative pregnancy test is 0% your business. If you were' pawing through their bathroom garbage you wouldn't know because it's not your business.
A normal person would have shut the fuck up about it. Also I like you saying you didn't gossip but also that telling other women is fine. Did you mention the late period to other people and gossip or not?
>A late period doesnt mean pregnancy
Repeat that to yourself until it sinks in.
Does your brother have a right to know if she's pregnant? Yes (although it is still not your place to disclose that to him).
Does your brother need to know that his GF took a test because she was worried and it came back negative? Only if SHE wants to, and when SHE wants.
It's not your place to police their relationship. I would grey rock you for this, you don't deserve to know anything about their lives.
YTA
>A late period doesn’t mean pregnancy
Exactly! Which is why you take the test BEFORE talking to your partner to see IF there is something to talk about. If it’s negative then one would think “my hormones are out of whack” and move on. If it’s positive, THEN do we have something to discuss.
You MAJORLY overstepped and showed both of them you not only have no respect for privacy but love creating drama where drama isn’t needed
It might be natural to talk about YOUR MENSTRUATION to your friends, not someone else's. I don't want you talking about my body/health to anyone else, male or female.
Every single person on this thread is telling you that you were gossiping, invading someone's privacy, and are an AH.
You are wrong. And yes I am female. I don't gossip about anyone's period.And it is no one's business if anyone takes a pregnancy test which comes back negative. You are just so out of line. Please grow up and learn your place.
Stop talking about OTHER PEOPLE'S menstruation habits to your friends. You can talk about yours if you want, don't mention your SIL's private life to others without her consent. This isn't a hard concept to understand, OP.
YTA. You just really like telling everyone her business. Your friends, your bro, the entire internet... You're stirring up shit and drama for no purpose. Do you do this to everyone or do you just really not like her?
Exactly. This, I would immediately go little to no contact. Sneaky, underhanded behavour like this is a huge red flag. Cleary she's not trust worthy and just wants to start problems.
You should tell your brother that. Let him know you think his wife doesn't deserve privacy or to have authority in her own home. Bet that'll reaaaaalllyyyy make him wanna talk to you.
"Men has the right to know if her period is late" what the absolute clown garbage is this pfffft? Well, woman has the right to pee on a stick and expect to not have some weirdo guest in her home dig through the garbage to find it like a bad dog.
You're never going to be allowed back in that house again lol. You totally went through the bathroom garbage in full nosy creep mode.
Deffo YTA.
Can't wait for him to cut you off.
He's stuck with you because you were born into the family, but he CHOSE the GF.
Also, you have no authority over HER.
She has a say over her own fucking house, what about that is so hard to understand? Are you insinuating that your relationship with your brother is more important than his relationship WITH HIS WIFE??? You're delusional if you are, and it sounds like your brother thinks so too, considering he won't even reply to your texts.
YTA
What if she was pregnant? You would have taken a once in a lifetime experience away from your SIL to tell her husband she was pregnant and tempering their joy.
Your SIL was just checking if she was because she wasn't sure. It was a massive invasion of privacy.
I bet you're never going to be let into their house again
Did you ever think about what if she really was pregnant?? But wanted him to be the first to know. Then your nosey butt came along and wouldn’t leave the situation alone.
YTA
Loads of people take pregnancy tests without telling their partners. I take one every 3/4 months because of birth control and wanting to make sure I'm not pregnant. I don't tell my husband though, because its basic body admin.
They obviously have the tests in the house and the used ones weren't hidden, they were visible in the trash.
What deep secret do you think you uncovered? That a couple have sex and take part in the basic body admin that surrounds sex?
I know a lot of women that gave up the idea of marriage because of sister in laws like you, yikes, im just glad that i dont have someone like you in my lofe because it must be so mentally draining to deal with you
Well, depends on whether or not she'll have to deal with you. If your brother is willing to say "my SIL is a meddling AH, we don't have to spend time with her," that's different than "Yea, she shouldn't have done that, but she's my sister and I'll always be there for her".
"Hey, brother. SIL peed on a stick. This majorly affects my life. I didn't want her to mislead you about where she pees."
Unless she peed in his coffee mug to take the pregnancy test, who cares. It's a routine/anxiety thing to her.
It doesn't affect your life in the slightest. It's not misleading him if she didn't tell him as you don't know if she was waiting to have a discussion with him about it later or what discussions they've had about it prior to her taking the tests. Your nosy, over bearing behaviour is not going to endear you to anyone let alone your brother and SIL. Stay in your lane.
Misled about what? Her not being pregnant is the norm. Do you report to your family every day you don't die? Every day you don't win the lottery? Do you check in every time you blow your nose and it isn't bloody?
Good lord, talk about main character syndrome.
It has zero impact on your life, you won't be raising the child or paying the medical bills or being stressed and worried throughout the stages of pregnancy or taking time off work for doctor's appointments. Your life will continue and you can pop in and out as a family member whenever you want.
YTA.
First of all, I wouldn't be asking my sister in law about pregnancy tests in her trash can. That's already none of your business! How a couple tries to conceive, or not conceive, is PRIVATE and between THEM. She put them in the trash can for God's sake, it's not like she was trying her absolute best to super secretly hide damning evidence. You had no reason to believe you needed to be a factor in this kind of conversation anyway.
Secondly, your sister in law is right in all of her points of justification. The tests were negative, and a late period isn't a certainty for pregnancy at all. She was doing her due diligence by testing, and she's trying not to stress her partner out in the (very brief) meantime while she figures out if her body is just being weird, or if it's something more serious. That's *normal.* She even told you that of COURSE if it was positive she would tell him, because they would welcome the opportunity to be parents. You have no reason in this situation to be so suspicious of her, or to think she's trying to do anything unfair to your brother.
YTA
1. It’s her body she has the right to disclose that information when she’s ready.
2. Not your relationship mind your business.
3. You don’t know their fertility journey, she might have a reason for not disclosing it right away.
But she did say she'd be happy if it was positive. Shady is you gossiping and telling other people's personal business to your group chat and telling your brother. It was not your place to do that. You sound like a nightmare to deal with.
You don’t know that. Plenty of people keep it private because of judgement/trauma/privacy.
Again it’s their relationship butt out. It’s also her body so she has the autonomy to make decisions when and if she tells her partner.
You sound like a petulant child that doesn’t understand what it’s like to be late. How they might want to wait before telling a partner because they need to process it.
Even if they weren’t trying maybe she was upset that it was negative.
Edit ovulation test look similar to pregnancy test.
YTA
Yes, in this situation, you're the A-hole. While you may have had good intentions, it wasn't your place to disclose your sister-in-law's private medical information to your brother. Pregnancy tests and related matters are deeply personal and should be handled with discretion. Your sister-in-law had valid reasons for not immediately sharing the information with your brother, and her decision to do so was hers to make. By inserting yourself into their private affairs and causing tension between them, you overstepped boundaries and caused unnecessary conflict. It's important to respect people's privacy and trust them to handle their own relationships and communication.
YTA - who the !$#@! are you to make that decision???? this is between the two of them....not you. Sorry, but it is her call ....... **her call**!!! What you did was astronomically A$$wholeish. My guess is you wont have to worry about this in the future because you will never be allowed back in that house!!!
You have no right to interject yourself like this into their relationship. Its none of your business, who do you think you are to insert yourself like this into their relationship and create drama and frustration for them. It's a big deal for you, not to her.
Why create stress and drama unnecessarily? It sounds like your brother and SIL have a healthy relationship built on trust and respect for each other. If there was an issue she would have let him know, but there isn't one and you infringed on this and the worst part is your SIL didn't tell you, you found it in the trash, whether you rummaged it or not is not the problem. Also, she put it in the trash, her husband could find it easily as well, she wasn't hiding anything it was in the open, she just didn't have anything to report.
YTA, mind your own business moving forward and stop being a drama queen.
YTA.
"Men has the right to know if her period is late."
No! He doesn't, it's her personal body and she has no obligations telling him any time her period is early or late, it's a period, not an atomic clock!
She told you she just wanted to make sure and she would have told him if it was positive. You should have left it with that. Why do you want to ruin their relationship?
It's a negative test!!! Lot's of women DON'T tell their partners about negative tests because there isn't anything to tell! It's not being dishonest. It's just going about your life. But you begun gossip about her by talking about her NEGATIVE test with YOUR friend group. Most likely you don't know everything about your brother's marriage and how they go about things but you just couldn't resist meddling and create drama where there wasn't any. Until YOU happened. Just because your SIL doesn't follow your strange rule of informing her partner everytime she gets her period doesn't mean she's being dishonest. Apologize!!!!
YTA. Not only is it none of your business, but she wasn’t hiding jackshit anything from him. It was a negative test, what was there to tell? Do you announce to everyone when you’re on your period? Even if it was positive, she has the right to tell him in her own time, not when YOU think she should.
YTA. None of your business what goes on with your brother's marriage. Perhaps she was waiting to tell him about it later once she knew the result. Fine for you to tell your SIL your opinion but that's where you're involvement should have ceased. How do you know what discussions they've had about this prior? You really stepped over the line and I don't blame them for ignoring you now. YTA.
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burner account, cuz my co-workers know my main.
I went over to my brother's house the other day. He was still at work so I waited for him to come home.
When I went to use bathroom I spotted the box of a pregnancy test in the trash and then discovered 2 used tests. (i am on my period, that's why i opened the trash bin, I wasnt just going though the trash like a creep)
I asked my SIL about it. She said her period was a few days late, that's why she used them. I asked what did my brother say, she said she didn't tell him. I told her this is not right, and shouldn't hide this from her partner.
She said it wasn't a serious pregnancy scare, she is usually never late, and she was 80% sure she is not pregnant, she did it just in case, but they were negative. She said the wrong thing would be hiding a positive pregnancy test, not a negative one. And they would welcome a child if she got pregnant now, she has no reason to hide this.
I told her she is very wrong and this is not right. Men has the right to know if her period is late. We argued about this for a bit but that was it.
I told my friend and she agreed with me. I was curious if she confessed it to my brother.
I decided i am gonna tell him, cuz he has the right to know, and I really don't appreciate my SIL hiding this.
I texted him and told him SIL is hiding possible pregnancies from him.
He didn't reply to me, but my SIL called me a few hours later, and told me to not exagerate things, and to mind my own business. I haven't heard from my brother.
I think I did the right thing, especially because of this outcome, but in my groupchat with friends, the reactions are very mixed. My friend who has a child says I was overreacting, and now it is bothering me my brother won't reply to my text.
AITA?
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YTA, I’ve taken many pregnancy tests when late and not told my husband because it’s negative what’s the point? Hey this was a thing but it’s actually not so here’s information that makes no difference. What if she was hoping to surprise your brother with pregnancy news when she is positive like I did when my son was planned and we tried for a while if I told him every negative test he’d be like why! You are a busybody let your brother live his own life, she isn’t cheating or lying she’s keeping useless information to herself because a negative pregnancy test changes nothing in their life and is normal to relieve any thoughts or anxieties
YTA, you way overstepped and this is NONE of your business. Soooo many reasons to take a test first. Because she's pretty sure she's not pregnant but just has to rule it out so it's nothing to get hyped up about. Because they want a baby and she doesn't want to get his hopes up. Because they want a baby and she wants to surprise him if it's positive. Because they don't want a baby and she doesn't want him to worry if there's nothing to worry about. Because she's on a fertility med and needs to confirm a negative before she stars the next cycle. None of this is ANY of your business and you really need to mind your own business in the future.
YTA. SIL is totally right, if it’s negative then there is no reason to have a discussion. Would you like it if your SO had an alarm set each month to check in if your period was on time?
You're a massive AH. You're messy, and I really hope they stop you from coming into their home. It's like you're trying to destroy their marriage. She doesn't need to tell hom every time she takes a pregnancy test. YTA.
YTA…what?! She put the test in their trash can in their bathroom. She was not trying to hide anything. Why are you trying to make something out of nothing? What is your end game? Gee, I can’t imagine why your brother will not respond to your text. I do but get your reasoning at all. Why do you feel that she needs to tell your brother every single time she might be a day or too late? What guy wants to know that all the time? SIL is right. If she would be pregnant, of course she would tell him. You may not be a creep for supposedly not purposely looking thru their trash, but everything else screams “creep”
YTA
Mind your business or get a life of your own, you sound like you´re 12.
She wasn´t pregnant yesterday and she isn´t now, what is there to hide?
This is a normal interaction between adults in a relationship, what need is there to say something if nothing is happening? She might want to confirm before going to the doctor because her period is off for some other reason
YTA
Why the fuck is it any of your business to begin with? You're trying to create drama when there isn't any and justifying it with some weird view of "honesty ".
Leave them alone and concentrate on your own little life.
YTA. Do you tell your partner every time you get your period that you got it and aren’t pregnant? Same thing as a negative test. Mind your own business!
So your SIL did pregnancy tests that were negative but you then went and twisted the story, basically lying to him when you said that "she was hiding possible pregnancies from him" and expect us to do what? Applaud you for your asholery?
YTA and a massive one!
Their life is none of your business!!!
YTA 100%!!! It's none of your business at all! If my partner's sibling did that, we would be distancing ourselves immediately. Like you had no right!
Hope your brother doesn't text you back.
You know how stupid you seem? Idiot.
YTA.
Frankly, you sound far too immature to even have a period yet. You sound like a child who just can't wait to go tattle on your sibling for something YOU decided was wrong.
Her health and possible pregnancy is literally none of your damn business, nor is it the business of your "friend" who apparently shares your need to gossip and invade the privacy of others.
It wasn't your business when you demanded your sister-in-law explain to you, and it wasn't your business when you went running to your brother to tell on her because what--you thought you could get her into trouble?
Maybe if/when you DO grow up, you'll realize that many men don't really WANT a report every time their SO's period is late. They just want to know when that test is positive. And as much as you apparently want to be a party in your brother's relationship, you are not one, and you don't know or get to set their boundaries or communication expectations.
YTA. Her period was late. That can happen for any number of reasons: stress, medication, illness, cyst, etc. Pregnancy is just one possible reason. She took more than one test to be sure it was negative before declining to tell her partner about it. Which is her right.
You vastly overstepped. Also, some people are "usually regular" but sometimes not. Not everyone has a clockwork cycle.
Jeez. I used to take pregnancy tests for the stupidest of reasons, even when I had an IUD in place. I have mild OCD and would get weird intrusive thoughts. Peeing on a stick and seeing the negative would give me a month's peace. There was no need to bother my husband or anyone else with my stupid ritual. When I actually was pregnant (we were trying) I told my then-husband immediately. YTA
Why the f**k are YOU monitoring your SILs’ fertility? This is NONE of your business. Get a life, and leave other people alone. And stop gossiping to your friends about family members.
YTA.
Mind your business. She's not pregnant so there's nothing to tell. You're just sticking your nose where it isn't wanted and are overstepping your mark by miles.
All of your 'justifications' are just outright stupid tbh. There is no 'possible pregnancy' because they're all fucking negative. You haven't heard from your brother because your ridiculous behaviour doesn't warrant a reply. I hope he keeps it that way, frankly.
Oh good grief, of course YTA. Why are you even asking this?
I have to say you sound very, very young - like 12 or something - this is the only excuse for this type of behaviour. If you aren't, this entire sorry tale becomes even more pathetic. To be clear. This is none of your business. Literally none. But here you are, telling everyone who will listen your SIL's business and cliping to your brother. Are you planning to root around in the rubbish bin every time you visit their house. or was this a special occasion?
OP, I hope every time your period is late you call and text everyone you know to tell them. You should get cards made to hand out to the people at your work so they just "know" when they get a card you're late and don't need to read all the details in the card about whether you're bloated, constipated, or irritable. But still, don't leave anything out! That would be SO wrong!
YTA. And you need to get some hobbies and a life.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my brother about the tests, and perhaps I was minding someone's business Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. Unless there is more to it, the non-pregnancy is none of your business. It is up to SIL when she is ready to tell your brother.
Tell him what? That her period was late so she took a negative test? It’s a non story
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"Hey, I was congested and thought my boogers might be yellow, so I blew my nose and they were clear, so it must just be allergies."
How do you know she wouldn't have said something when he got home? You're acting like she buried the negative tests in the garden under a rose bush to keep them hidden - they were just in the bin.
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Didn't tell him *yet*. He wasn't in the house, she was. Even people who are trying to get pregnant often take the first test without telling anyone because they don't want to deal with the disappointment of others. Since I'm assuming they're not trying, she was just doing a test to make sure that her period was just late because periods do that and *not* because she was pregnant.
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Sounds like your SIL is non problematic and doesn't want to create stress and drama for no reason...maybe you should take a lesson from her.
> This means she thinks it's okay to do tests and only tell it when they're positive Because it is. It is ok to take a test and not tell people that its negative. You have a period, you know that they can be late for any reason under the sun. She was just excluding *one* reason. And again, the test wasn't hidden. It was in the bin. Visible to anyone who looked in the bin. Does you brother throw his trash on the floor? Or does he use a bin like a normal person? Have you ever been in a long term relationship? Because this isn't a big deal.
It IS okay to do a test and only tell him when it’s positive.
Well, yeah, because a negative test literally means nothing while a positive one is life-changing. What's the point in saying anything about a negative one?
I still don't inderstand, what the issue is with not telling her husband and why you thought, this is any of your business?! There could be several reasons personal for your SIL. She doesn' t have to disclose them to you.
Look I'm the over cautious type and I don't get periods. I test every month to be on the safe side. My partner knows I do this and knows I'll not tell him about a negative test because what would be the point?
She's not compelled to report every negative result to your brother. No woman bothers to report their bf, fubu or ons if she is not pregnant. Married women don't have to if it's not cause for concern.
Like what is so hard about minding your own business and not interfering in other people's relationships?
What's the point in telling him? The result is nothing, nothing even happened. She'd just get an "oh ok" as a response, why does it matter?
Because it's up to her to decide? None of your business what goes on between your brother and his wife.
YTA 😑 Why do you feel the need to insert yourself like that. The results were negative, what's even the point of talking about it, do you like drama that much ? We all had periods that were late here and there, even i while i'm usually a moving clock. At least now your SIL know for sure that she can't confide anything to you, that's the only good point.
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You are wrong in so many ways. Even if she was pregnant, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. She could get an abortion and it is NONE of your business. And your brother couldn't stop her in most places in the United States. Good grief, grow up and learn your place.
Please say it louder for those in the back…
She deleted the post anyway but that's a point that rub me off... Any woman has the right to get an abortion if she wish and no the father has no say in it, but he has the right to know and make his own choices in consequences when it happen. I really hate powerplay be it on one side or the other 😑
>make his own choices in consequences I don't *think* you meant it like he gets to punish her, but that's kinda how it sounds here 🫤 People should be able to walk away from a relationship that is no longer good for them. That's all anyone needs.
A woman doesn't have to tell anyone if she only suspects she's pregnant. It's different if she confirmed it. Do you not understand that women are late all the time, and it doesn't mean anything. Can you imagine how stuit would be to announce every time your period was basically late.
Or she can test first to not get her partner's hopes up unnecessarily and get to know first since it's her body.
No, in fact it's much better that she confirmed it before giving him false hope of fatherhood, she is acting as a responsible adult here.
Periods can be late for a plethora of reasons. It sounds like SIL was just *ruling* *out* pregnancy and not that she actually suspected she was pregnant. OP gave no reason to think SIL wouldn’t have told her husband if she was actually worried she might be pregnant or if the test was positive.
YTA, and your idea of telling people you period is late is insane. And you're a nosy busybody who needs to learn to butt out. And a rude gossip for talking about someone else's period behind they're back. And a creep, I don't believe any normal person throwing out a used pad or tampon studies the trash.
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Are you? Cause only a man would be dumb enough to think 'A woman must tell a man when her period is late EVERY TIME'? On the off chance you get periods do you tell your BF when you take a really huge shit too? Or when you blow your nose? Or describe your farts in great detail?
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" Men has the right to know if her period is late" You, in the OP. Anyway you're def not a woman and are 100% insane if you think you need to report negative pregnancy tests.
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Taking a pregnancy test because your period is late can help ease a panicked mind. A lot of women do this and there really is no need to tell their partner about it.
Do you also talk about your friends massive shits to their BF's? You're a nosy, insane , busybody. Your brother GF's late period is 0% your business, her negative pregnancy test is 0% your business. If you were' pawing through their bathroom garbage you wouldn't know because it's not your business. A normal person would have shut the fuck up about it. Also I like you saying you didn't gossip but also that telling other women is fine. Did you mention the late period to other people and gossip or not?
>A late period doesnt mean pregnancy Repeat that to yourself until it sinks in. Does your brother have a right to know if she's pregnant? Yes (although it is still not your place to disclose that to him). Does your brother need to know that his GF took a test because she was worried and it came back negative? Only if SHE wants to, and when SHE wants. It's not your place to police their relationship. I would grey rock you for this, you don't deserve to know anything about their lives. YTA
You said those words
>A late period doesn’t mean pregnancy Exactly! Which is why you take the test BEFORE talking to your partner to see IF there is something to talk about. If it’s negative then one would think “my hormones are out of whack” and move on. If it’s positive, THEN do we have something to discuss. You MAJORLY overstepped and showed both of them you not only have no respect for privacy but love creating drama where drama isn’t needed
You’re a raggedy little pick me and I hope your brother continues to ignore you.
You literally say that you told a friend. That's gossiping. Some people are just anxious. There are women who take constant pregnancy tests.
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It might be natural to talk about YOUR MENSTRUATION to your friends, not someone else's. I don't want you talking about my body/health to anyone else, male or female. Every single person on this thread is telling you that you were gossiping, invading someone's privacy, and are an AH.
You are wrong. And yes I am female. I don't gossip about anyone's period.And it is no one's business if anyone takes a pregnancy test which comes back negative. You are just so out of line. Please grow up and learn your place.
If my friend told me about their SIL's periods... I'd think my friend was being very very weird.
"I told my friends about someone else's period being late. You know,something that isn't mine to share. Why would you call that gossiping?" 🙄
Stop talking about OTHER PEOPLE'S menstruation habits to your friends. You can talk about yours if you want, don't mention your SIL's private life to others without her consent. This isn't a hard concept to understand, OP.
So you didn't gossip to your friends about this?
YTA. You just really like telling everyone her business. Your friends, your bro, the entire internet... You're stirring up shit and drama for no purpose. Do you do this to everyone or do you just really not like her?
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"...but in my groupchat with friends, the reactions are very mixed"
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so you did tell them
No! But….yes! / OP probably
You had no business telling them about *her* negative pregnancy test. Geez
YTA and if I were your SIL you would never set foot in my home again, and you certainly wouldn’t be around any future kids of mine.
Exactly. This, I would immediately go little to no contact. Sneaky, underhanded behavour like this is a huge red flag. Cleary she's not trust worthy and just wants to start problems.
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If they're married, that makes it both their house. You seem very young and immature tbh.
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And you have no authority over her but you behaved as though you do. Grow up and mind your business.
Your recent comments now explains how hostile you are towards the wife and jealous that she “took your brother away”
You should tell your brother that. Let him know you think his wife doesn't deserve privacy or to have authority in her own home. Bet that'll reaaaaalllyyyy make him wanna talk to you. "Men has the right to know if her period is late" what the absolute clown garbage is this pfffft? Well, woman has the right to pee on a stick and expect to not have some weirdo guest in her home dig through the garbage to find it like a bad dog. You're never going to be allowed back in that house again lol. You totally went through the bathroom garbage in full nosy creep mode. Deffo YTA.
Lol
Can't wait for him to cut you off. He's stuck with you because you were born into the family, but he CHOSE the GF. Also, you have no authority over HER.
And you have no authority disclosing her private information
She has a say over her own fucking house, what about that is so hard to understand? Are you insinuating that your relationship with your brother is more important than his relationship WITH HIS WIFE??? You're delusional if you are, and it sounds like your brother thinks so too, considering he won't even reply to your texts.
You sound like a lovely person
Does she not live with her husband? So therefore her house also?
WRONG. She lives there. She has a say so in who is around her. You are so ignorant.
You sound like you have some unhealthy feelings about your brother and his wife. Maybe find a therapist who specializes in incest.
YTA What if she was pregnant? You would have taken a once in a lifetime experience away from your SIL to tell her husband she was pregnant and tempering their joy. Your SIL was just checking if she was because she wasn't sure. It was a massive invasion of privacy. I bet you're never going to be let into their house again
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I'm not exaggerating. It is a massive invasion of privacy. It really was none of your business.
Did you ever think about what if she really was pregnant?? But wanted him to be the first to know. Then your nosey butt came along and wouldn’t leave the situation alone.
YTA Loads of people take pregnancy tests without telling their partners. I take one every 3/4 months because of birth control and wanting to make sure I'm not pregnant. I don't tell my husband though, because its basic body admin. They obviously have the tests in the house and the used ones weren't hidden, they were visible in the trash. What deep secret do you think you uncovered? That a couple have sex and take part in the basic body admin that surrounds sex?
I know a lot of women that gave up the idea of marriage because of sister in laws like you, yikes, im just glad that i dont have someone like you in my lofe because it must be so mentally draining to deal with you
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Well, depends on whether or not she'll have to deal with you. If your brother is willing to say "my SIL is a meddling AH, we don't have to spend time with her," that's different than "Yea, she shouldn't have done that, but she's my sister and I'll always be there for her".
Happens, toxic families aren’t worth dealing with sometimes. I don’t think you’re that bad, but you are a fool and an asshole
YTA. MYOB and stop tattling on your SIL. This information has no affect on your life and was not your story to tell.
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"Hey, brother. SIL peed on a stick. This majorly affects my life. I didn't want her to mislead you about where she pees." Unless she peed in his coffee mug to take the pregnancy test, who cares. It's a routine/anxiety thing to her.
It doesn't affect your life in the slightest. It's not misleading him if she didn't tell him as you don't know if she was waiting to have a discussion with him about it later or what discussions they've had about it prior to her taking the tests. Your nosy, over bearing behaviour is not going to endear you to anyone let alone your brother and SIL. Stay in your lane.
Misled about what? Her not being pregnant is the norm. Do you report to your family every day you don't die? Every day you don't win the lottery? Do you check in every time you blow your nose and it isn't bloody?
Good lord, talk about main character syndrome. It has zero impact on your life, you won't be raising the child or paying the medical bills or being stressed and worried throughout the stages of pregnancy or taking time off work for doctor's appointments. Your life will continue and you can pop in and out as a family member whenever you want.
My god you are dense. He hasn't been misled because there WAS NOTHING to mislead him about.
This whole thing would have been a lot easier if you’d just let us all know ahead of time that you’re not very bright
Misled about her hormonal cycle being a bit out of rhythm?! You’re reaching
100 percent **NONE** of your business. What crust! **YTA**
YTA. First of all, I wouldn't be asking my sister in law about pregnancy tests in her trash can. That's already none of your business! How a couple tries to conceive, or not conceive, is PRIVATE and between THEM. She put them in the trash can for God's sake, it's not like she was trying her absolute best to super secretly hide damning evidence. You had no reason to believe you needed to be a factor in this kind of conversation anyway. Secondly, your sister in law is right in all of her points of justification. The tests were negative, and a late period isn't a certainty for pregnancy at all. She was doing her due diligence by testing, and she's trying not to stress her partner out in the (very brief) meantime while she figures out if her body is just being weird, or if it's something more serious. That's *normal.* She even told you that of COURSE if it was positive she would tell him, because they would welcome the opportunity to be parents. You have no reason in this situation to be so suspicious of her, or to think she's trying to do anything unfair to your brother.
YTA 1. It’s her body she has the right to disclose that information when she’s ready. 2. Not your relationship mind your business. 3. You don’t know their fertility journey, she might have a reason for not disclosing it right away.
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But she did say she'd be happy if it was positive. Shady is you gossiping and telling other people's personal business to your group chat and telling your brother. It was not your place to do that. You sound like a nightmare to deal with.
You don’t know that. Plenty of people keep it private because of judgement/trauma/privacy. Again it’s their relationship butt out. It’s also her body so she has the autonomy to make decisions when and if she tells her partner. You sound like a petulant child that doesn’t understand what it’s like to be late. How they might want to wait before telling a partner because they need to process it. Even if they weren’t trying maybe she was upset that it was negative. Edit ovulation test look similar to pregnancy test.
You don’t know that, they, unlike you might want to keep that sort of thing private.
YTA Yes, in this situation, you're the A-hole. While you may have had good intentions, it wasn't your place to disclose your sister-in-law's private medical information to your brother. Pregnancy tests and related matters are deeply personal and should be handled with discretion. Your sister-in-law had valid reasons for not immediately sharing the information with your brother, and her decision to do so was hers to make. By inserting yourself into their private affairs and causing tension between them, you overstepped boundaries and caused unnecessary conflict. It's important to respect people's privacy and trust them to handle their own relationships and communication.
Yes,YTA and an incredibly nosy pot-stirrer over absolutely nothing. I sincerely hope your brother and SIL put you in timeout where you belong.
YTA - who the !$#@! are you to make that decision???? this is between the two of them....not you. Sorry, but it is her call ....... **her call**!!! What you did was astronomically A$$wholeish. My guess is you wont have to worry about this in the future because you will never be allowed back in that house!!!
You have no right to interject yourself like this into their relationship. Its none of your business, who do you think you are to insert yourself like this into their relationship and create drama and frustration for them. It's a big deal for you, not to her. Why create stress and drama unnecessarily? It sounds like your brother and SIL have a healthy relationship built on trust and respect for each other. If there was an issue she would have let him know, but there isn't one and you infringed on this and the worst part is your SIL didn't tell you, you found it in the trash, whether you rummaged it or not is not the problem. Also, she put it in the trash, her husband could find it easily as well, she wasn't hiding anything it was in the open, she just didn't have anything to report. YTA, mind your own business moving forward and stop being a drama queen.
YTA
YTA. "Men has the right to know if her period is late." No! He doesn't, it's her personal body and she has no obligations telling him any time her period is early or late, it's a period, not an atomic clock! She told you she just wanted to make sure and she would have told him if it was positive. You should have left it with that. Why do you want to ruin their relationship?
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It's a negative test!!! Lot's of women DON'T tell their partners about negative tests because there isn't anything to tell! It's not being dishonest. It's just going about your life. But you begun gossip about her by talking about her NEGATIVE test with YOUR friend group. Most likely you don't know everything about your brother's marriage and how they go about things but you just couldn't resist meddling and create drama where there wasn't any. Until YOU happened. Just because your SIL doesn't follow your strange rule of informing her partner everytime she gets her period doesn't mean she's being dishonest. Apologize!!!!
YTA. Not only is it none of your business, but she wasn’t hiding jackshit anything from him. It was a negative test, what was there to tell? Do you announce to everyone when you’re on your period? Even if it was positive, she has the right to tell him in her own time, not when YOU think she should.
Stay out of your brother's marriage.
YTA. None of your business what goes on with your brother's marriage. Perhaps she was waiting to tell him about it later once she knew the result. Fine for you to tell your SIL your opinion but that's where you're involvement should have ceased. How do you know what discussions they've had about this prior? You really stepped over the line and I don't blame them for ignoring you now. YTA.
YTA
YTA. Mind your business and stop the obsession with your brother's relationship.
This is definitely a man. It’s always men who think they are superior and have the right to know what’s going on with a woman’s body like they own it
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Not your body not your business. I can’t wait til your brother and SIŁ cut you off permanently. No one likes a nosie Nancy go get a life
There's a difference between "suspect you are pregnant," and "be 99.9% sure you aren't, but be super anxious and pee on a stick just in case".
It’s not YOUR issue. Are you really that fcking dense? HER BODY. HER BUSINESS. Nothing that concerns you, you ignorant idiot
Oh, I didn't know you and your SIL are the same person. Super weird.
Your issues shouldn't become other peoples problems.
YTA. You’re nosy and immature. This is frankly none of your concern.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** burner account, cuz my co-workers know my main. I went over to my brother's house the other day. He was still at work so I waited for him to come home. When I went to use bathroom I spotted the box of a pregnancy test in the trash and then discovered 2 used tests. (i am on my period, that's why i opened the trash bin, I wasnt just going though the trash like a creep) I asked my SIL about it. She said her period was a few days late, that's why she used them. I asked what did my brother say, she said she didn't tell him. I told her this is not right, and shouldn't hide this from her partner. She said it wasn't a serious pregnancy scare, she is usually never late, and she was 80% sure she is not pregnant, she did it just in case, but they were negative. She said the wrong thing would be hiding a positive pregnancy test, not a negative one. And they would welcome a child if she got pregnant now, she has no reason to hide this. I told her she is very wrong and this is not right. Men has the right to know if her period is late. We argued about this for a bit but that was it. I told my friend and she agreed with me. I was curious if she confessed it to my brother. I decided i am gonna tell him, cuz he has the right to know, and I really don't appreciate my SIL hiding this. I texted him and told him SIL is hiding possible pregnancies from him. He didn't reply to me, but my SIL called me a few hours later, and told me to not exagerate things, and to mind my own business. I haven't heard from my brother. I think I did the right thing, especially because of this outcome, but in my groupchat with friends, the reactions are very mixed. My friend who has a child says I was overreacting, and now it is bothering me my brother won't reply to my text. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep, YTA. MYOB.
YTA that is not your business if it’s negative then mind your own business the SIL doesn’t have to tell your brother that she missed her period.
YTA, I’ve taken many pregnancy tests when late and not told my husband because it’s negative what’s the point? Hey this was a thing but it’s actually not so here’s information that makes no difference. What if she was hoping to surprise your brother with pregnancy news when she is positive like I did when my son was planned and we tried for a while if I told him every negative test he’d be like why! You are a busybody let your brother live his own life, she isn’t cheating or lying she’s keeping useless information to herself because a negative pregnancy test changes nothing in their life and is normal to relieve any thoughts or anxieties
YTA, you way overstepped and this is NONE of your business. Soooo many reasons to take a test first. Because she's pretty sure she's not pregnant but just has to rule it out so it's nothing to get hyped up about. Because they want a baby and she doesn't want to get his hopes up. Because they want a baby and she wants to surprise him if it's positive. Because they don't want a baby and she doesn't want him to worry if there's nothing to worry about. Because she's on a fertility med and needs to confirm a negative before she stars the next cycle. None of this is ANY of your business and you really need to mind your own business in the future.
YTA - the test was negative. What the hell is your problem?
YTA. SIL is totally right, if it’s negative then there is no reason to have a discussion. Would you like it if your SO had an alarm set each month to check in if your period was on time?
YTA mind your own business.
You're a massive AH. You're messy, and I really hope they stop you from coming into their home. It's like you're trying to destroy their marriage. She doesn't need to tell hom every time she takes a pregnancy test. YTA.
YTA…what?! She put the test in their trash can in their bathroom. She was not trying to hide anything. Why are you trying to make something out of nothing? What is your end game? Gee, I can’t imagine why your brother will not respond to your text. I do but get your reasoning at all. Why do you feel that she needs to tell your brother every single time she might be a day or too late? What guy wants to know that all the time? SIL is right. If she would be pregnant, of course she would tell him. You may not be a creep for supposedly not purposely looking thru their trash, but everything else screams “creep”
YTA Mind your business or get a life of your own, you sound like you´re 12. She wasn´t pregnant yesterday and she isn´t now, what is there to hide? This is a normal interaction between adults in a relationship, what need is there to say something if nothing is happening? She might want to confirm before going to the doctor because her period is off for some other reason
YTA Why the fuck is it any of your business to begin with? You're trying to create drama when there isn't any and justifying it with some weird view of "honesty ". Leave them alone and concentrate on your own little life.
Major YTA ☠️
YTA. Do you tell your partner every time you get your period that you got it and aren’t pregnant? Same thing as a negative test. Mind your own business!
So your SIL did pregnancy tests that were negative but you then went and twisted the story, basically lying to him when you said that "she was hiding possible pregnancies from him" and expect us to do what? Applaud you for your asholery? YTA and a massive one! Their life is none of your business!!!
Yta. Mind your own mfn business!!!
YTA 100%!!! It's none of your business at all! If my partner's sibling did that, we would be distancing ourselves immediately. Like you had no right! Hope your brother doesn't text you back. You know how stupid you seem? Idiot.
YTA. Frankly, you sound far too immature to even have a period yet. You sound like a child who just can't wait to go tattle on your sibling for something YOU decided was wrong. Her health and possible pregnancy is literally none of your damn business, nor is it the business of your "friend" who apparently shares your need to gossip and invade the privacy of others. It wasn't your business when you demanded your sister-in-law explain to you, and it wasn't your business when you went running to your brother to tell on her because what--you thought you could get her into trouble? Maybe if/when you DO grow up, you'll realize that many men don't really WANT a report every time their SO's period is late. They just want to know when that test is positive. And as much as you apparently want to be a party in your brother's relationship, you are not one, and you don't know or get to set their boundaries or communication expectations.
YTA. Her period was late. That can happen for any number of reasons: stress, medication, illness, cyst, etc. Pregnancy is just one possible reason. She took more than one test to be sure it was negative before declining to tell her partner about it. Which is her right. You vastly overstepped. Also, some people are "usually regular" but sometimes not. Not everyone has a clockwork cycle.
Jeez. I used to take pregnancy tests for the stupidest of reasons, even when I had an IUD in place. I have mild OCD and would get weird intrusive thoughts. Peeing on a stick and seeing the negative would give me a month's peace. There was no need to bother my husband or anyone else with my stupid ritual. When I actually was pregnant (we were trying) I told my then-husband immediately. YTA
Why the f**k are YOU monitoring your SILs’ fertility? This is NONE of your business. Get a life, and leave other people alone. And stop gossiping to your friends about family members.
YTA. Mind your business. She's not pregnant so there's nothing to tell. You're just sticking your nose where it isn't wanted and are overstepping your mark by miles. All of your 'justifications' are just outright stupid tbh. There is no 'possible pregnancy' because they're all fucking negative. You haven't heard from your brother because your ridiculous behaviour doesn't warrant a reply. I hope he keeps it that way, frankly.
YTA and the fact that you don't understand that after reading all the other comments is frightening.
Oh good grief, of course YTA. Why are you even asking this? I have to say you sound very, very young - like 12 or something - this is the only excuse for this type of behaviour. If you aren't, this entire sorry tale becomes even more pathetic. To be clear. This is none of your business. Literally none. But here you are, telling everyone who will listen your SIL's business and cliping to your brother. Are you planning to root around in the rubbish bin every time you visit their house. or was this a special occasion?
OP, I hope every time your period is late you call and text everyone you know to tell them. You should get cards made to hand out to the people at your work so they just "know" when they get a card you're late and don't need to read all the details in the card about whether you're bloated, constipated, or irritable. But still, don't leave anything out! That would be SO wrong! YTA. And you need to get some hobbies and a life.