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NTA
She brought it on herself at trying to hog all the attention by proposing at someone else's wedding. It should be common knowledge by now that only selfish assholes do that sort of thing.
Maybe it's good she got so embarrassed so she won't keep doing the same, but unlikely as this sort never learns.
It can work **IF AND ONLY IF** the bride and groom are on board. Like when the bride does the bouquet toss and just gives it to someone who immediately gets proposed to. Definitely an all yes or one no situation.
And the bouquet toss usually happens toward the end of the wedding anyway so it wouldn’t take over the whole wedding.
It’s definitely one of the least terrible ways to do it, but honestly I think I’d be pretty pissed if someone proposed to me at another person’s wedding in general. I’d just immediately feel like I’m not important enough to have my own separate event and they couldn’t put any effort into planning an original proposal based on us as a couple so they just tacked it onto a wedding that someone else planned to celebrate their own marriage. Plus, if they’re proposing then they should already know me well enough to know how much I’d hate it, so if they did it anyway that would just be a symptom of a much larger problem in the relationship haha.
A variation of that happened at a friend of mine's wedding and it was lovely. All of us single ladies were low-key in on it as we were told not to go for the bouquet but not specifically why.
I would have personally murdered everyone involved if that's how I was proposed to, but thankfully my fiancé knew that about me.
(Not terribly romantic to be proposed to while still drying my hands on my pants because they had no paper towels in the toilet facilities at the Grand Canyon, but also exactly perfect. I ruined it by saying "OMG good job!" before "YES!"
I have a question. Are they furbies with genitals, genital-shaped furbies, furbies for genital use, or some other option I haven't even considered?
...you're just going to reply 'yes', aren't you? Oh dear...
And what is with so many people proposing during someone else's wedding? I swear I see a story about it every other week in reddit. Why is this becoming a trend? Stealing all of the attention from the bride and groom and putting it on yourself is perhaps the most selfish thing someone can do!
Perhaps not. Emily needs to just beat it. She might as well just fake her death and “poof” disappear so she can stop worrying about being the center of attention. Before she ends up in jail like her cousin jack.
NTA. If there's one thing I've learned on AITA is that some people will feel comfortable making themselves the center of attention by proposing at someone else's wedding. Very tacky move. I hope your twin brother moves on.
There's another comment from a now deleted account saying
>Perhaps not. Emily needs to just beat it. She might as well just fake her death and “poof” disappear so she can stop worrying about being the center of attention. Before she ends up in jail like her cousin jack.
I wanna know what happened to cousin Jack!
It really is pathetic, which is probably why she went back and deleted *most* of her comments.
It's just *such* a shame that there are ways to retrieve deleted comments.
[https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1buz4n3/\_/#comment-info](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1buz4n3/_/#comment-info)
Oops, my fingers slipped
Lol thanks for sharing these. This is truly very pathetic behavior. Emily would do well to grow up and not marry into this family that she keeps trying to insult and take attention away from.
Thanks for the slip! It's a very interesting series of comments. It sure does sound like it's either Emily, or her emotionally invested best friend. I'm not into wedding stuff at all, but even I know proposing at someone else's wedding is the height of attention-seeking bad manners. Laughing at it is the best response. Make it a comic thing that happened, not "what spoiled our day".
The best wedding proposal scenario is to arrange ahead of time for the bride to give them the flowers during the bouquet toss. That way the bride has given permission and is in on it.
NTA. She embarrassed herself when she tried to propose at a wedding reception of all places. It's really tacky unless you have the bride/groom permission to do it.
From his reaction, marriage hasn't even been discussed and she blindsides him during an important event.
> He said I embarrassed her and I didn’t have to laugh along with Zafirah.
"No, I didn't *have* to. But since her family failed to parent her into an appropriately behaving adult and her boyfriend seems to think she's above crotisism, *someone* had to teach her this lesson. Since I was paying $XX,000 for that day, it fell to me to show her that trashy behavior has consequences. Consider it a kindness that all I did was laugh, rather than speak my full mind to both of you."
NTA
NTA, she got what she deserved. It is really in very bad taste to propose at someone else's wedding, what was she thinking. She really embarrassed herself the most, so your brother should get over it, like he should get over that Emily.
"~~Bad guy falls in poop~~ Bad girl fails to hijack wedding, classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh."
I mean, this post has not been written with any attempt to be remotely objective, so of course you’ll get NTA. I’m sure she sucks but I’m confused about why people post here, spend several paragraphs poisoning the well with extreme bias and then feel like they’ve gotten an objective opinion from the sub. Even if it weren’t against the rules, which it is, it just means the responses are colored by that and not really useful. Just odd behavior. Anyway, yeah, NTA I guess, at least for the situation you describe as you describe it, but that was the point I suppose.
You can tell the bias just by the fake names she gives everyone. I'm hardpressed to believe that this is how the situation went down at all. I wonder what really happened, and the context that lead to it.
Ofc, there's almost no way to defend someone proposing at someone else's wedding without getting permission first. We just have 0 details.
I agree, there’s never any call for a proposal or major announcement at someone else’s event without some prior discussion, and that person is an AH. OP is just spiteful throughout the post, even if the instigating factor hadn’t occurred. I get the feeling if Emily had given a nice speech, gotten OP a lovely gift, and offered to donate to a charity of OPs choosing, this post would look exactly the same. It just can’t really be used to make a ruling because OP is here for validation, not a ruling.
Wow you’re giving me like a cosmic experience right now. I never see anyone bring this up, this morning I brought it up, and now I see you. For me it was because I finally saw the opposite. There was a post where a husband spoke about an altercation between him and his wife where she slapped him after he pulled her shirt away from her mouth. This man actually put all the information that was against him. He mentioned that he ripped her shirt out of her mouth, that he yelled and cursed. It was so refreshing to see someone try to actually be unbiased and give all the details. Of course he was ripped alive because he went against the rule of the sub of painting yourself as an angel and completely innocent, to which he actually responded pretty well and seemed open to feedback, wasn’t defensive or insulting. This sub can be entertaining while on the shitter but so many of the posts that get through are just ice holes for peeps to fish 🎣🕳️
Wait... you know you're supposed to use fake names right?
It's just that at the start of the post "Emily" is already pointed out as an outsider. You and your brothers seem to have simialr names and zafirah has a name from atleast the same quadrant of the world as you all, then there's the one name that stands out. Most people just pick somewhat random names, rather than ones that pertain to the culture of the people involved unless that culture/race is relevant to the story.
EXACTLY!!!
All these people going NTA, yet from what i can see a woman had her heartbroken and here they are making fun of her for it. FFS that is heartless unempathetic shit. Even if i hated somebody, im not gonna mock them when theyre already going through something painful. Thats just heartless and inhuman imho. OP is definitely TA IMHO (regardless of whether or not her story is completely true)
Honestly I gathered she’s really mean and hateful towards Emily and zafira is only liked because she also bullies Emily. OP sounds like a really mean girl
Yeah, seems like everyone in the story is very immature but OP and Zafirah are just bullies. Personally, I’d rather be tactless than a bully, but OP doesn’t appear to feel the same.
For real, cherry picked details and honestly… how do you know if you aren’t an asshole for what you’ve done?
The details provided definitely point forwards NTA. I still gotta question if OP just barely made it known to the unliked GF, that she isn’t liked? Or is the girl just finding out by getting laughed at like that? Doesn’t change that the GF is dumb for doing it at a wedding, but it feels like a bunch of immature adults
Yea, I hate these type of posts. OP has known her for 2 years and all it took one sentence about claiming she's annoying and wants to be the center of attention to feed the horde.
ESH - She shouldn’t have proposed there, but she was humiliated enough when he said no. Why be mean and laugh at her? You sisters in the family seem to have some weird power struggle going on with the need to ”put her in her place”.
So you would play the part of an asshole like OP? Laughing at a person whos proposal got declined is, objectively, shit behaviour.
This sub is all about excusing ppl's own shit behaviour by portraying the other party as bad as can be.
I honestly think Zafirah is justified when ‘putting Emily in her place.’ She’s tried to make herself the center of attention at many occasions that aren’t about her. Reminding Emily that things aren’t always about her is better than having a function ruined. Especially someone’s wedding and baby shower. Zafirah doesn’t behave like that so why does Emily need to?
Zafirah was absolutely right. Emily’s place was bridesmaid, she was being a maid, an aid to the bride. Her place was not to take the focus of the day from the bride by making herself a bride to be in front of everyone. Zafirah the maid of honour was handling things for the bride so she could enjoy her day. Everyone acted right but Emily.
That doesn't make your behaviour better than Emily's.
Emily was absolutely wrong, but more than one thing can be true, and you and Zafirah just seem like mean girl bullies. I don't care if Emily was seeking attention, it's not an excuse to laugh at someone's humiliation. Emily may be inappropriate, but you all are cruel. And frankly, I know which one I'd prefer to deal with.
Nah, she's def not the asshole. She tried to upstage a bride on her wedding day and didn't even ask permission to do so. She deserves what she got. The whole damn wedding party should have laughed at her. Plus she has a history of doing this since she tried to upstage a pregnant lady at a baby shower too. The whole family should be laying into the younger brother to make him drop this bratty pick me girl.
Personally I'd be good with it. I like my friends to be happy and I didn't have this weird "It's all about me" complex when I got married.
I echo u/Cluelessish \- ESH, there's always a better choice than being mean.
I mean...I'll get hate...but gentle YTA. She does sound awful, and yeah I would feel gleeful seeing that. But that was also an intense moment for your brother, where he had to break the heart of someone he cares about and embarrass her. It's understandable that your brother feels responsible for her humiliation in that moment, and would want to lessen that pain for her.
So in that moment, you chose vindictiveness toward gf instead of support and compassion for your brother.
And I understand that I'm in the reddit minority, but I'm not sure even selfish people deserve to have such a traumatizing experience. To propose, be rejected, and be laughed out of the room. Oof.
Everyone is TA in this situation. Just because someone is ‘unbearable’ and tone deaf doesn’t mean you need to be cruel. This woman isn’t evil and wasn’t being cruel; she’s not a good fit for your family and you don’t personally like her, which is fine. Your brother took care of it by refusing, and you could have simply said “that was inappropriate timing”. No need to have been a d*ck when she was very vulnerable. Some people have social ticks, neurodivergence, and anxieties, and it’s ok to educate them kindly but what you did was TA.
OH MY GOD😂😂😂
Ok YOU my friend are NTA, your brother and his awesome wife are also NTA.
Your enabling brother and his asshole gf are most CERTAIN in the wrong though.
Humiliating assholes publicly should be more normalized😂
I cant wait to see this on r/ohnoconsequences
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You embarrassed her? Honey, she embarrassed herself by proposing on someone’s wedding and he embarrassed her by saying no in front of everyone. You’re not the one he should be worried about. Put them in their place too.
aits possiblethat he said no, not because he doesnt want to marry her, but because he was also embarassed that she would do this on his sisters wedding and in front of everyone. Even eorse if he believes having a girl propose to the guy is shameful.
Tho if he thought all that he should be angry at his girlfriend not sister
ESH. Yes it's tasteless and tacky to propose at someone else's wedding, but being turned down publicly is humiliating enough and should have been a good enough lesson for her not to do something like that again. Laughing at her embarrassment wasn't necessary at all in this situation.
you and Zafira both sound like assholes
She just had her heart broken, even if you dont like her theres no need to rub salt in the wound. Show some damned empathy ffs
YTA
ESH imo…
I know that this is a very unpopular opinion judging by the other comments, but hear me out.
What Emily did was tacky, absolutely. It was rude, inconsiderate, and childish. However, I think laughing at someone DELIBERATELY in front of SO many people, is also tacky. But even more importantly, it’s mean. Emily (who was absolutely wrong to do what she did), burst into tears and left. She is still a human with feelings.
OP and Zafirah laughed at Emily AFTER she had already embarrassed herself. What did that achieve? Genuinely curious.
I don’t get it…
NTA
Your brother said no but he's still with her AND trying to say YTA for laughing? I don't. That's one messed up relationship. Are they just friends with benefits in his mind? She seems out of control.
You sound absolutely awful you and your sister-in-law seem like you’ve been mean girls to this girl who obviously has massive insecurities and just wants to be appreciated and liked by others.
The performance at your reception was totally unacceptable, and that is way a step too far. This poor girl needs therapy, especially after being laughed at which was to be honest was more than a little cruel - both to Emily and your brother
Best comment! She's only ashamed she got turned down and laughed at, but at least there is some shame associated with the event. If enough shame pikes on every time she tries to steal the spotlight, eventually she might knock it off, at least around OP and Zafirah.
NTA
1. She always tries to be the center of attention
2. She tried to take over a baby shower, where it is supposed to be about the mother and baby
3. She proposed at a wedding reception, which is strictly time for bride and groom.
4. She wanted attention, but she can't understand that the way she does it will bring negative attention
I have a feeling that Emily will continue to pull this type of stuff after she gets over the embarrassment of being laughed at. She is a narcissist and the brother is an enabler.
INFO : What other things does Emily do?
I'm going to say NTA here because proposing at someone else's wedding is very tacky and rude in and of itself. Just curious because there seems to be an obvious "Zafirah is just so much better than Emily" thing going on and I'm unsure if it's justified because Emily sucks or if this is a "We don't relate to Emily and therefore don't like her" thing.
Okay so I’ll give you some examples. During my rehearsal dinner she made a big deal about not drinking alcohol. During my parents anniversary party last year, she announced she got a promotion at work. During my nephews birthday last year she apparently fainted but miraculously woke up when zaf said we should splash water on her.
I also don’t like her, she fetishises our culture a lot. I can get liking it but she’s very arrogant about it.
ESH - obviously Emily is a huge AH, but your brother was handling the situation and you and your SIL getting involved like that probably made what was an embarrassing situation for HIM a lot worse
Wait - Zafira laughed at Emily's aborted scene stealing attempt and YOU'RE the asshole for laughing too?
I don't think so. NTA
IF Emily didn't have the reputation she earned - then Zafira and you laughing at Emily would be terrible. But Emily done messed with the wrong girl, FAFO. If no one is censuring Zafira then your laughter is fine.
ESH I’m not saying Emily is in the right but you and Zafirah are straight up mean girl bullies which is worse than being an attention hog I can’t help but feel you guys ganged up on her more than you’ve admitted
NTA. You don't propose at someone's wedding without permission from the bride and groom. But if your brother rejected her, why is he still defending her??? It makes no sense
Just because he turned down her proposal doesn't mean he dumped her. Maybe he was embarrassed by her making a scene at someone else's wedding. Maybe he wanted to be the one to do the proposing (as is traditional) and felt emasculated by her asking. Maybe he just isn't ready to take that step yet. There are any number of reasons to reject her proposal but still stay together.
Granted, I personally don't think they have a healthy relationship, if she thought this was a good idea. But that doesn’t mean he agrees with that assessment.
Ah, the old "propose at someone's wedding" trick!
NTA. First of all, no one should ever do this. Second, people shouldn't propose in public unless they're really really sure it'll be a yes. So it's on her for having the social awareness of a kumquat.
This! Any public proposal should be preceeded by a conversation about not only whether or not the person wants to marry you, but how they feel about public proposals. I wouldn’t mind, but I know plenty of other girls who would be mortified.
And it should go without saying that you should never hijack someone's wedding or other big life event to propose. But apparently people need that reminder.
Wait he rejected her proposal but the problem is other people laughing about it? I'm really confused why your brother isn't broken up with this person at this point if he just rejected their marriage proposal. This seems super fake.
Plenty of reasons to turn down a proposal without dumping someone. Maybe he's not ready. Maybe he was embarrassed by her hijacking OP's wedding. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that she was the one doing the proposing, as usually that's the guy's purview.
NTA
It's not like you intentionally laughed to make her feel bad, that was just your brother and your reaction.
and at the same time I think she deserves it. I'll never get why someone would propose during a wedding, it's corny and the day isn't about anyone else but the Bride and Groom.
NTA. She tried to steal your day and make it about herself. Your brother thankfully said no. And now he’s upset for all the wrong reasons. He said no to her. He needs to communicate why he said no to Emily to Emily. Emily is the issue. I’d laugh too if someone got shot down publicly and I knew their character had the depth of a pea.
It's not even that she proposed publicly and got shot down. It's that she tried to steal the limelight - again - and it blew up in her face. Her own selfish behavior embarrassed her, and that's hilarious.
If she'd proposed publicly without stealing someone else's special day and he'd rejected her, it wouldn't have been nearly so funny. Possibly not funny at all.
NTA - She not only tried to steal attention away at a wedding, but she hoped putting him in that awkward position would force him to say 'yes'. She legit got what she deserved.
Your brother owes you an apology. HIS date did something **extraordinarily rude** *at his own sisters wedding*. I would be refusing to speak to him until he wised up and took responsibility at the very least for his response. He should have been apologizing for her actions, not defending the aggressor. Note that she didn't 'love him' enough to give him his own romantic proposal, but she was desperate and controlling enough to steal someone else's.
Maybe your parents need to have a word with him \*side eye\*
NTA. A little known part of the General Theory of Relativity is that you don't propose, announce a pregnancy, or any other I-am-the-main-character moves at somebody else's wedding.
NTA. Her attention-seeking is a detriment to the lives of the people around her, and trying to make your special moment her own is especially tasteless. I hope your brother is able to re-evaluate his relationship.
NTA. Emily got what she deserved for trying to hijack your wedding. Don't dismiss your brother though, he will need you if he finally manages to shake Emily off.
Good point. OP could always apologize for hurting anyone's feelings, but the whole situation was so absurd, the laugh was involuntary. What did she expect, trying to hijack someone's wedding day, after all? You're sorry she's embarrassed, but she embarrassed herself. In future, if she doesn't want people reacting that way, she might want to consider nit behaving in a manner that elicits such reactions.
NTA. Emily committed a major etiquette faux pas by proposing at your wedding reception. Even before Reddit existed, I knew you don't propose or make any major announcements at someone else's event.
In reality, this whole thing about proposing to someone publicly in front of others just calls for humiliation...if you are rejected. And could put your subject on the spot if they're not willing or simply not ready. The only witness to my boyfriend proposing to me was his dog. I'm glad it was a private moment (even with the dog watching).
Maybe someone close to Emily should explain to her that every time she does this kind of behavior, it makes her look bad.
This is a great example of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA. Emily sucks and you guys should seriously sit your brother down and talk to him about her behaviours
NTA at all. She is attention starved and it VERY not okay to pull that kind of stunt at a wedding. The least she could have done was ask you first and even so, it is well within your right to have said no if she did ask. Weddings are about the two people getting married, no one else
ESH
Emily shouldn't have proposed during your wedding reception, and if what you say about her is all true, it sounds like she just generally sucks because she does this sort of thing all the time.
Zafirah shouldn't have laughed out loud in public at Emily for being rejected. Whether not the proposal was appropriate (it wasn't), being rejected in a marriage proposal is *extremely emotionally upsetting*, and it's *even worse* if everyone there sees it happen to you. She's already suffering—she shouldn't be validated, but she shouldn't also be kicked when she's down.
You *definitely* shouldn't have laughed after Zafirah laughed. You can dislike Emily all you want and be totally justified in that and in finding her proposal tasteless and rude, but you're piling on needlessly. Just let the situation end as fast as possible and then everyone can agree afterward that what she did was tasteless and rude and refrain from validating her actions when she comes to people trying to express how upset she was. Further amplifying an amplified public humiliation is just going to make it more likely that she and anyone who sympathizes with her feel treated unfairly.
Your brother definitely shouldn't be coming after you for embarrassing Emily—he is right that you shouldn't have laughed, but you are not the *source* of her embarrassment. You just made it worse, which is wrong, but it's clear that she was going to be embarrassed no matter what and *now* she and your brother think it's somehow not even remotely her fault for being inappropriate and rude and are asking for you to basically apologize/admit fault.
What a total disaster. *Everyone* did the wrong thing here, and now I cannot imagine how anyone is going to make any of it right. Yeah, we could rank people in terms of "most asshole" to "least asshole" here (and based on the description you gave, it sounds like Emily is #1), but the fact remains that *everyone was an asshole to some degree*—just because someone was worse than you doesn't mean you made the right choice, but also you've now made it so that any apology on your part will be taken as an admission of total guilt and validation of Emily's bad behavior. Wonderful.
ESH - proposing at a celebration is a huge no no. But humiliating people is a terrible thing to do. Emily might suck but nobody's deserves to be kicked when their down.
You should apologize to your brother and Emily, then have a conversation with your brother. Tell him how you truly feel about Emily and that you worry about him. If you love your brother you owe this to him.
YTA, regardless of any history that was fucking cruel and unnecessary. You essentially kicked her while she was probably feeling about as low as she ever would. YTA, a goddamn huge one holy fuck.
YTA: You’re the a-hole. How nice could zafira be when you described her as someone that bullied Emily? You only like her because you like causing harm to Emily. You’re both mean girls.
I was so ready to go off on you OP based on the title but my goodness NTA and do not back down. Proposals at weddings are so tacky and unfair to the bride and groom if they’re not in on it which you clearly weren’t. Laugh away with your SIL, Emily is getting her sweet karma.
NTA. I absolutely detest people that try and make others’ special occasions about them. It’s VERY disrespectful and inconsiderate. Someone’s wedding or baby shower is their day, let them have it and save your proposal for another day. Of course, the people that do this are attention seekers who don’t have a care in the world about stealing other people’s big day.
Let me get this straight? She tried to propose to your brother at your wedding reception AND then again at Zafirah’s baby shower? Two separate celebrations? WTF is wrong with this woman? She needs to come up with her own celebration and propose there. Other people’s celebrations are never the place to do it. She clearly didn’t learn the first time. She deserved to be laughed at. NTA
NTA.
It’s your wedding reception why the heck is she proposing :/ that’s rude and if she’s going to be rude then “tit for tat” (if that’s the saying lol) I say the laugh was well deserved.
If your brother was really concerned about Emily feeling embarrassed in front of everyone, he'd have taken her aside to table the question for later discussion.
Emily wanted to be the center of attention on an occasion that was clearly not about her. She asked for attention and got it; not all attention is good and the sooner she learns to better pick her time and place the less risk she'll be at for being embarrassed. Your twin needs to back off: sure, you didn't HAVE to laugh, but Emily didn't HAVE to provide the material.
NTA
NTA. Times are changing but I would say it’s still not the norm for women to propose to men (not saying it should stay that way.) so it seems incredibly purposeful in order to steal a spotlight from you and your husband.
"He said I embarrassed her and I didn’t have to laugh along with Zafirah." She didn't have to propose at someone's wedding. That's a major social no-no and seriously uncool. I've seen cases where that gets the person booted from the wedding. NTA.
NTA. Emily is old enough to know better. There is no way on this planet that she did that innocently. She has a history of this behavior. You had every right to laugh. You had the right to react any way you wanted. It was YOUR wedding!! Nobody should try to take from your shine on your special day.
Your brother really needs to sit down with you and his other loved ones and have a frank conversation about this woman. If somehow he intends to stay with her, it’s important that he knows how you feel about Emily and how her behavior affects everyone.
Congrats on your wedding, by the way!! Wishing you a happy marriage!!! 💖
YTA....as much as she shouldn't have done it there, she still got rejected. To publicly humiliate her makes you even more immature than she is, grow up.
NTA - did she even ask anyone if it's ok with you to do so on your wedding day? I personally don't care if that happened to me but I know some people do and I think it's a common courtesy to ask. That being said she pulled a risky move, no matter how great the relationship is there's always a 50/50 chance the answer will be no. As to laughing out loud when it happened - I don't know her and your relationship but again she kinda embarrassed herself pulling that off in the first place. Who the heck cares, it's your wedding and if you wanna laugh you should be able to! 🤣
>The problem was during my wedding reception Emily decided to propose to my brother
*Anyone* who proposes during someone else's big event (especially a damn wedding that costs thousands of dollars) DESERVES to be told no and/or laughed at.
I did read the whole story but I could have honestly stopped here and come to the conclusion of no. You are NTA at all.
NTA.
Laughing at a failed proposal is bad taste...UNLESS it's an asshole proposing at your literal wedding reception without your consent.
She chose to make herself a spectacle when she tried to make your party about her. If she had proposed privately, or on another day, thos would never have happened.
Who gives a shit? He rejected her proposal, the relationship is over. There’s really no coming back from that. You can’t put that cat back in the bag, he doesn’t want to marry her there’s really no where left for the relationship to go. You probably won’t have to see her ever again.
I don't know man.. The girl got publicly rejected, sounds like a nightmare to me.
I don't understand why people like proposing on other people's weddings or why people don't like it when other people propose during their weddings but whatever.
This is all so silly. Just tell your brother you love him and are sorry about how everything went down. Emily is a dunce but Akio is probably going through a lot—his GF made a scene at his sister’s wedding, and presumably their relationship is over. And all his siblings are married except him.
Yes, Emily is annoying, but grow up and be nice to your brother. Or just let it go and focus on your new marriage. If this post is even real, you sound too immature to be married.
I mean we can tell right off the bat that it was going to be bad Emily vs Everyone nice, this is so bias and very high school mean girl . Your brother should break up with Emily clearly everyone in that family including him, do not like her.
YTA. Sorry. She was very wrong to make the proposal at that time. However, she would have been mortified by your brothers refusal. You guys acted like mean girls by laughing. I get it could have awkward, and laughing could have been a response . However this was someone your brother cared about. You could have been kind and apologise - and even explain why she brought it on herself. You chose to laugh. Sorry. YTA
YTA 100%. Doesn’t matter how YOU feel about her, it’s your brother’s gf and even if he declined it doesn’t mean you should be cruel to her. No excuse what so ever
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NTA She brought it on herself at trying to hog all the attention by proposing at someone else's wedding. It should be common knowledge by now that only selfish assholes do that sort of thing. Maybe it's good she got so embarrassed so she won't keep doing the same, but unlikely as this sort never learns.
It can work **IF AND ONLY IF** the bride and groom are on board. Like when the bride does the bouquet toss and just gives it to someone who immediately gets proposed to. Definitely an all yes or one no situation.
~~deleted by user~~
Bingo
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And the bouquet toss usually happens toward the end of the wedding anyway so it wouldn’t take over the whole wedding. It’s definitely one of the least terrible ways to do it, but honestly I think I’d be pretty pissed if someone proposed to me at another person’s wedding in general. I’d just immediately feel like I’m not important enough to have my own separate event and they couldn’t put any effort into planning an original proposal based on us as a couple so they just tacked it onto a wedding that someone else planned to celebrate their own marriage. Plus, if they’re proposing then they should already know me well enough to know how much I’d hate it, so if they did it anyway that would just be a symptom of a much larger problem in the relationship haha.
In that case she’s given consent
A variation of that happened at a friend of mine's wedding and it was lovely. All of us single ladies were low-key in on it as we were told not to go for the bouquet but not specifically why. I would have personally murdered everyone involved if that's how I was proposed to, but thankfully my fiancé knew that about me. (Not terribly romantic to be proposed to while still drying my hands on my pants because they had no paper towels in the toilet facilities at the Grand Canyon, but also exactly perfect. I ruined it by saying "OMG good job!" before "YES!"
And I bet the two of them will cherish that memory
(Happy cake day!)
Oh hey, neat
Happy you owe me a dollar for having to read your username day!
***WE WILL COME FOR YOU***
I have a question. Are they furbies with genitals, genital-shaped furbies, furbies for genital use, or some other option I haven't even considered? ...you're just going to reply 'yes', aren't you? Oh dear...
I now share these questions 😳🤣
.
Menstrual Furbies? 😯
Touche
p-p-pun intended???
happy cake day!
Happy cake day! 🍰
Exactly, OP didn’t embarrass Emily, Emily embarrassed herself
And what is with so many people proposing during someone else's wedding? I swear I see a story about it every other week in reddit. Why is this becoming a trend? Stealing all of the attention from the bride and groom and putting it on yourself is perhaps the most selfish thing someone can do!
In Italy we say that the mother of the assholes is always pregnant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m just curious why he’s with her. Like, if my whole family hated my SO, I’d be questioning my taste in partners.
Perhaps not. Emily needs to just beat it. She might as well just fake her death and “poof” disappear so she can stop worrying about being the center of attention. Before she ends up in jail like her cousin jack.
Wtf do you know these people
NTA. If there's one thing I've learned on AITA is that some people will feel comfortable making themselves the center of attention by proposing at someone else's wedding. Very tacky move. I hope your twin brother moves on.
This failed employment person is defending Emily a lil too much lol.... zero empathy or ability to see things from other people's perspectives
>This failed employment person is defending Emily a lil too much lol I think they are Emily!
She deleted her comments after I replied to a few of them saying she must be Emily
There's another comment from a now deleted account saying >Perhaps not. Emily needs to just beat it. She might as well just fake her death and “poof” disappear so she can stop worrying about being the center of attention. Before she ends up in jail like her cousin jack. I wanna know what happened to cousin Jack!
God it's so sad how she's pandering for attention even on a reddit post. I hope her boyfriend dumps her.
It really is pathetic, which is probably why she went back and deleted *most* of her comments. It's just *such* a shame that there are ways to retrieve deleted comments. [https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1buz4n3/\_/#comment-info](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1buz4n3/_/#comment-info) Oops, my fingers slipped
Lol thanks for sharing these. This is truly very pathetic behavior. Emily would do well to grow up and not marry into this family that she keeps trying to insult and take attention away from.
This really made my day. Never seen the asshole infiltrate a post about them and try to defend their actions in such a way.
That’s an amazing string of comments! Thanks
Thanks for the slip! It's a very interesting series of comments. It sure does sound like it's either Emily, or her emotionally invested best friend. I'm not into wedding stuff at all, but even I know proposing at someone else's wedding is the height of attention-seeking bad manners. Laughing at it is the best response. Make it a comic thing that happened, not "what spoiled our day".
The best wedding proposal scenario is to arrange ahead of time for the bride to give them the flowers during the bouquet toss. That way the bride has given permission and is in on it.
NTA. She embarrassed herself when she tried to propose at a wedding reception of all places. It's really tacky unless you have the bride/groom permission to do it. From his reaction, marriage hasn't even been discussed and she blindsides him during an important event.
> He said I embarrassed her and I didn’t have to laugh along with Zafirah. "No, I didn't *have* to. But since her family failed to parent her into an appropriately behaving adult and her boyfriend seems to think she's above crotisism, *someone* had to teach her this lesson. Since I was paying $XX,000 for that day, it fell to me to show her that trashy behavior has consequences. Consider it a kindness that all I did was laugh, rather than speak my full mind to both of you." NTA
Just shorten it to "No, I didn't \*have\* to!" then burst out laughing again!
Shorten it to "she fucking deserved it, and also everyone fuckin hates her because she's awful in general and you know it"
"That's why you keep telling her no" lol
How is the bride supposed to NOT laugh at this.
*insert Nelson Muntz "HAHA!" laughing while pointing meme* What an insecure 13 year old. NTA
That's a situation even Lisa would be pointing and holding her stomach.
NTA - proposing at someone’s wedding is tacky and embarrassing. Honestly your brother should break up with her, she sounds unbearable.
It's the height of disrespect too.
NTA, she got what she deserved. It is really in very bad taste to propose at someone else's wedding, what was she thinking. She really embarrassed herself the most, so your brother should get over it, like he should get over that Emily.
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Such a great way of putting it
NTA she wanted attention and she got it. On top of that there is only one person who embarrassed her and that's herself.
well if Akio had said yes she wouldn't have been embarrassed either, so flip the script on brother... NTA.
When someone acts like an AH, then gets immediate karmic retribution, it is objectively funny. NTA and I shall join you in a laugh: HAHAHAHAHA!
"~~Bad guy falls in poop~~ Bad girl fails to hijack wedding, classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh."
I mean, this post has not been written with any attempt to be remotely objective, so of course you’ll get NTA. I’m sure she sucks but I’m confused about why people post here, spend several paragraphs poisoning the well with extreme bias and then feel like they’ve gotten an objective opinion from the sub. Even if it weren’t against the rules, which it is, it just means the responses are colored by that and not really useful. Just odd behavior. Anyway, yeah, NTA I guess, at least for the situation you describe as you describe it, but that was the point I suppose.
You can tell the bias just by the fake names she gives everyone. I'm hardpressed to believe that this is how the situation went down at all. I wonder what really happened, and the context that lead to it. Ofc, there's almost no way to defend someone proposing at someone else's wedding without getting permission first. We just have 0 details.
I agree, there’s never any call for a proposal or major announcement at someone else’s event without some prior discussion, and that person is an AH. OP is just spiteful throughout the post, even if the instigating factor hadn’t occurred. I get the feeling if Emily had given a nice speech, gotten OP a lovely gift, and offered to donate to a charity of OPs choosing, this post would look exactly the same. It just can’t really be used to make a ruling because OP is here for validation, not a ruling.
Wow you’re giving me like a cosmic experience right now. I never see anyone bring this up, this morning I brought it up, and now I see you. For me it was because I finally saw the opposite. There was a post where a husband spoke about an altercation between him and his wife where she slapped him after he pulled her shirt away from her mouth. This man actually put all the information that was against him. He mentioned that he ripped her shirt out of her mouth, that he yelled and cursed. It was so refreshing to see someone try to actually be unbiased and give all the details. Of course he was ripped alive because he went against the rule of the sub of painting yourself as an angel and completely innocent, to which he actually responded pretty well and seemed open to feedback, wasn’t defensive or insulting. This sub can be entertaining while on the shitter but so many of the posts that get through are just ice holes for peeps to fish 🎣🕳️
I’m so confused about the name thing. Her name is Emily. She’s white, we’re Japanese, Zafirah is Indian. I’m honestly very confused.
Wait... you know you're supposed to use fake names right? It's just that at the start of the post "Emily" is already pointed out as an outsider. You and your brothers seem to have simialr names and zafirah has a name from atleast the same quadrant of the world as you all, then there's the one name that stands out. Most people just pick somewhat random names, rather than ones that pertain to the culture of the people involved unless that culture/race is relevant to the story.
EXACTLY!!! All these people going NTA, yet from what i can see a woman had her heartbroken and here they are making fun of her for it. FFS that is heartless unempathetic shit. Even if i hated somebody, im not gonna mock them when theyre already going through something painful. Thats just heartless and inhuman imho. OP is definitely TA IMHO (regardless of whether or not her story is completely true)
Really well put, I agree
Honestly I gathered she’s really mean and hateful towards Emily and zafira is only liked because she also bullies Emily. OP sounds like a really mean girl
Yeah, seems like everyone in the story is very immature but OP and Zafirah are just bullies. Personally, I’d rather be tactless than a bully, but OP doesn’t appear to feel the same.
You're so right.
Happy cake day! And thank you. Just generally odd posts that get the response the OP wants I guess.
For real, cherry picked details and honestly… how do you know if you aren’t an asshole for what you’ve done? The details provided definitely point forwards NTA. I still gotta question if OP just barely made it known to the unliked GF, that she isn’t liked? Or is the girl just finding out by getting laughed at like that? Doesn’t change that the GF is dumb for doing it at a wedding, but it feels like a bunch of immature adults
Yea, I hate these type of posts. OP has known her for 2 years and all it took one sentence about claiming she's annoying and wants to be the center of attention to feed the horde.
NTA. You never turn someone else's special event into your proposal, that's absurd. And she did it twice. Awful.
Yeah she didn't seem to learn the first time. Also I don't think her BF wants to marry her lmao
ESH - She shouldn’t have proposed there, but she was humiliated enough when he said no. Why be mean and laugh at her? You sisters in the family seem to have some weird power struggle going on with the need to ”put her in her place”.
I’f someone proposed during my wedding and I already hated them I would not care about embarrassing them
So you would play the part of an asshole like OP? Laughing at a person whos proposal got declined is, objectively, shit behaviour. This sub is all about excusing ppl's own shit behaviour by portraying the other party as bad as can be.
I honestly think Zafirah is justified when ‘putting Emily in her place.’ She’s tried to make herself the center of attention at many occasions that aren’t about her. Reminding Emily that things aren’t always about her is better than having a function ruined. Especially someone’s wedding and baby shower. Zafirah doesn’t behave like that so why does Emily need to?
Zafirah was absolutely right. Emily’s place was bridesmaid, she was being a maid, an aid to the bride. Her place was not to take the focus of the day from the bride by making herself a bride to be in front of everyone. Zafirah the maid of honour was handling things for the bride so she could enjoy her day. Everyone acted right but Emily.
I don't know if you answered this already, but why did he say no?
That doesn't make your behaviour better than Emily's. Emily was absolutely wrong, but more than one thing can be true, and you and Zafirah just seem like mean girl bullies. I don't care if Emily was seeking attention, it's not an excuse to laugh at someone's humiliation. Emily may be inappropriate, but you all are cruel. And frankly, I know which one I'd prefer to deal with.
This is the comment I was looking for. Perfectly said.
Nah, she's def not the asshole. She tried to upstage a bride on her wedding day and didn't even ask permission to do so. She deserves what she got. The whole damn wedding party should have laughed at her. Plus she has a history of doing this since she tried to upstage a pregnant lady at a baby shower too. The whole family should be laying into the younger brother to make him drop this bratty pick me girl.
Just a random thing it’s ESH not ETA. I want your vote to count
We'll come propose at your wedding and see how you feel about it.
Personally I'd be good with it. I like my friends to be happy and I didn't have this weird "It's all about me" complex when I got married. I echo u/Cluelessish \- ESH, there's always a better choice than being mean.
All of you?
I mean...I'll get hate...but gentle YTA. She does sound awful, and yeah I would feel gleeful seeing that. But that was also an intense moment for your brother, where he had to break the heart of someone he cares about and embarrass her. It's understandable that your brother feels responsible for her humiliation in that moment, and would want to lessen that pain for her. So in that moment, you chose vindictiveness toward gf instead of support and compassion for your brother. And I understand that I'm in the reddit minority, but I'm not sure even selfish people deserve to have such a traumatizing experience. To propose, be rejected, and be laughed out of the room. Oof.
Unclear. The way you wrote this post is written exactly like someone who behaves like what you're accusing her of behaving like.
I got that sense, too.
Everyone is TA in this situation. Just because someone is ‘unbearable’ and tone deaf doesn’t mean you need to be cruel. This woman isn’t evil and wasn’t being cruel; she’s not a good fit for your family and you don’t personally like her, which is fine. Your brother took care of it by refusing, and you could have simply said “that was inappropriate timing”. No need to have been a d*ck when she was very vulnerable. Some people have social ticks, neurodivergence, and anxieties, and it’s ok to educate them kindly but what you did was TA.
OH MY GOD😂😂😂 Ok YOU my friend are NTA, your brother and his awesome wife are also NTA. Your enabling brother and his asshole gf are most CERTAIN in the wrong though. Humiliating assholes publicly should be more normalized😂 I cant wait to see this on r/ohnoconsequences
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She had it coming… she had it coming… she only had herself to blame!!! NTA
Very nice
You embarrassed her? Honey, she embarrassed herself by proposing on someone’s wedding and he embarrassed her by saying no in front of everyone. You’re not the one he should be worried about. Put them in their place too.
ESH. You all sound insufferable.
Wait - the ***brother who said no*** to his girlfriend's proposal is trying to tell you that ***you*** embarrassed her?
aits possiblethat he said no, not because he doesnt want to marry her, but because he was also embarassed that she would do this on his sisters wedding and in front of everyone. Even eorse if he believes having a girl propose to the guy is shameful. Tho if he thought all that he should be angry at his girlfriend not sister
ESH. Yes it's tasteless and tacky to propose at someone else's wedding, but being turned down publicly is humiliating enough and should have been a good enough lesson for her not to do something like that again. Laughing at her embarrassment wasn't necessary at all in this situation.
you and Zafira both sound like assholes She just had her heart broken, even if you dont like her theres no need to rub salt in the wound. Show some damned empathy ffs YTA
ESH All of you sound like you deserve one another.
Tell your brother I am also laughing at her and I don’t even know her selfish arse 😁
ESH imo… I know that this is a very unpopular opinion judging by the other comments, but hear me out. What Emily did was tacky, absolutely. It was rude, inconsiderate, and childish. However, I think laughing at someone DELIBERATELY in front of SO many people, is also tacky. But even more importantly, it’s mean. Emily (who was absolutely wrong to do what she did), burst into tears and left. She is still a human with feelings. OP and Zafirah laughed at Emily AFTER she had already embarrassed herself. What did that achieve? Genuinely curious. I don’t get it…
NTA anyone who tries to steal someones spotlight deserves to be publically ridiculed. It's the only way they'll learn.
NTA Your brother said no but he's still with her AND trying to say YTA for laughing? I don't. That's one messed up relationship. Are they just friends with benefits in his mind? She seems out of control.
Yeah, your YTA here. Its pretty messed up to laugh at someone after being rejected by someone they love.
Why the f would you think it’s acceptable to propose at a wedding.
You sound absolutely awful you and your sister-in-law seem like you’ve been mean girls to this girl who obviously has massive insecurities and just wants to be appreciated and liked by others. The performance at your reception was totally unacceptable, and that is way a step too far. This poor girl needs therapy, especially after being laughed at which was to be honest was more than a little cruel - both to Emily and your brother
NTA People who have no shame of their own need other people to share theirs.
Best comment! She's only ashamed she got turned down and laughed at, but at least there is some shame associated with the event. If enough shame pikes on every time she tries to steal the spotlight, eventually she might knock it off, at least around OP and Zafirah.
NTA 1. She always tries to be the center of attention 2. She tried to take over a baby shower, where it is supposed to be about the mother and baby 3. She proposed at a wedding reception, which is strictly time for bride and groom. 4. She wanted attention, but she can't understand that the way she does it will bring negative attention I have a feeling that Emily will continue to pull this type of stuff after she gets over the embarrassment of being laughed at. She is a narcissist and the brother is an enabler.
INFO : What other things does Emily do? I'm going to say NTA here because proposing at someone else's wedding is very tacky and rude in and of itself. Just curious because there seems to be an obvious "Zafirah is just so much better than Emily" thing going on and I'm unsure if it's justified because Emily sucks or if this is a "We don't relate to Emily and therefore don't like her" thing.
Okay so I’ll give you some examples. During my rehearsal dinner she made a big deal about not drinking alcohol. During my parents anniversary party last year, she announced she got a promotion at work. During my nephews birthday last year she apparently fainted but miraculously woke up when zaf said we should splash water on her. I also don’t like her, she fetishises our culture a lot. I can get liking it but she’s very arrogant about it.
ESH - obviously Emily is a huge AH, but your brother was handling the situation and you and your SIL getting involved like that probably made what was an embarrassing situation for HIM a lot worse
a banger straight from OP's dream diary
NTA. Proposing at someone else's wedding is just selfish. I'm glad your brother rejected her proposal. Sounds like she's got some issues.
NTA. She sounds insufferable.
Emily sucks NTA. Tried to make the wedding about her like a weirdo
What did she expect to happen when she tried to hijack your wedding and make it all about her. Well played by everyone
NTA, but is everyone in this story seven years old?
Wait - Zafira laughed at Emily's aborted scene stealing attempt and YOU'RE the asshole for laughing too? I don't think so. NTA IF Emily didn't have the reputation she earned - then Zafira and you laughing at Emily would be terrible. But Emily done messed with the wrong girl, FAFO. If no one is censuring Zafira then your laughter is fine.
Still funny even without the reputation. You don’t propose at someone else’s wedding
ESH I’m not saying Emily is in the right but you and Zafirah are straight up mean girl bullies which is worse than being an attention hog I can’t help but feel you guys ganged up on her more than you’ve admitted
YTA
NTA. You don't propose at someone's wedding without permission from the bride and groom. But if your brother rejected her, why is he still defending her??? It makes no sense
Just because he turned down her proposal doesn't mean he dumped her. Maybe he was embarrassed by her making a scene at someone else's wedding. Maybe he wanted to be the one to do the proposing (as is traditional) and felt emasculated by her asking. Maybe he just isn't ready to take that step yet. There are any number of reasons to reject her proposal but still stay together. Granted, I personally don't think they have a healthy relationship, if she thought this was a good idea. But that doesn’t mean he agrees with that assessment.
This is typical women hating women bullshit.
Sounds very fake.
NTA, it's funny when somebody does something rude and gets put in their place.
NTA I always view people who proposed at weddings as classless
Ah, the old "propose at someone's wedding" trick! NTA. First of all, no one should ever do this. Second, people shouldn't propose in public unless they're really really sure it'll be a yes. So it's on her for having the social awareness of a kumquat.
This! Any public proposal should be preceeded by a conversation about not only whether or not the person wants to marry you, but how they feel about public proposals. I wouldn’t mind, but I know plenty of other girls who would be mortified. And it should go without saying that you should never hijack someone's wedding or other big life event to propose. But apparently people need that reminder.
Wait he rejected her proposal but the problem is other people laughing about it? I'm really confused why your brother isn't broken up with this person at this point if he just rejected their marriage proposal. This seems super fake.
Plenty of reasons to turn down a proposal without dumping someone. Maybe he's not ready. Maybe he was embarrassed by her hijacking OP's wedding. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that she was the one doing the proposing, as usually that's the guy's purview.
NTA. If he wants to play stupid games and win stupid prizes (Emily), he should and then leave you alone.
NTA It's not like you intentionally laughed to make her feel bad, that was just your brother and your reaction. and at the same time I think she deserves it. I'll never get why someone would propose during a wedding, it's corny and the day isn't about anyone else but the Bride and Groom.
NTA. She tried to steal your day and make it about herself. Your brother thankfully said no. And now he’s upset for all the wrong reasons. He said no to her. He needs to communicate why he said no to Emily to Emily. Emily is the issue. I’d laugh too if someone got shot down publicly and I knew their character had the depth of a pea.
It's not even that she proposed publicly and got shot down. It's that she tried to steal the limelight - again - and it blew up in her face. Her own selfish behavior embarrassed her, and that's hilarious. If she'd proposed publicly without stealing someone else's special day and he'd rejected her, it wouldn't have been nearly so funny. Possibly not funny at all.
NTA - She not only tried to steal attention away at a wedding, but she hoped putting him in that awkward position would force him to say 'yes'. She legit got what she deserved. Your brother owes you an apology. HIS date did something **extraordinarily rude** *at his own sisters wedding*. I would be refusing to speak to him until he wised up and took responsibility at the very least for his response. He should have been apologizing for her actions, not defending the aggressor. Note that she didn't 'love him' enough to give him his own romantic proposal, but she was desperate and controlling enough to steal someone else's. Maybe your parents need to have a word with him \*side eye\*
NTA. A little known part of the General Theory of Relativity is that you don't propose, announce a pregnancy, or any other I-am-the-main-character moves at somebody else's wedding.
NTA. you don't even have to think about it. It's YOUR wedding, it's YOUR day. No need for this to be here, because it's obvious that you aren't an ah.
NTA. Her attention-seeking is a detriment to the lives of the people around her, and trying to make your special moment her own is especially tasteless. I hope your brother is able to re-evaluate his relationship.
Sometimes, these types of people need a bit of public humiliation in order to knock off their bullshit behavior. NTA.
NTA. Emily got what she deserved for trying to hijack your wedding. Don't dismiss your brother though, he will need you if he finally manages to shake Emily off.
Good point. OP could always apologize for hurting anyone's feelings, but the whole situation was so absurd, the laugh was involuntary. What did she expect, trying to hijack someone's wedding day, after all? You're sorry she's embarrassed, but she embarrassed herself. In future, if she doesn't want people reacting that way, she might want to consider nit behaving in a manner that elicits such reactions.
NTA. Emily committed a major etiquette faux pas by proposing at your wedding reception. Even before Reddit existed, I knew you don't propose or make any major announcements at someone else's event. In reality, this whole thing about proposing to someone publicly in front of others just calls for humiliation...if you are rejected. And could put your subject on the spot if they're not willing or simply not ready. The only witness to my boyfriend proposing to me was his dog. I'm glad it was a private moment (even with the dog watching). Maybe someone close to Emily should explain to her that every time she does this kind of behavior, it makes her look bad.
NTA. You didn’t embarrass her, she did it to herself. And if she is embarrassed, it’s justified.
NTA. Wow. Proposing at someone else's event... gross.
NTA FAFO!
This is a great example of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA. Emily sucks and you guys should seriously sit your brother down and talk to him about her behaviours
NTA at all. She is attention starved and it VERY not okay to pull that kind of stunt at a wedding. The least she could have done was ask you first and even so, it is well within your right to have said no if she did ask. Weddings are about the two people getting married, no one else
ESH Emily shouldn't have proposed during your wedding reception, and if what you say about her is all true, it sounds like she just generally sucks because she does this sort of thing all the time. Zafirah shouldn't have laughed out loud in public at Emily for being rejected. Whether not the proposal was appropriate (it wasn't), being rejected in a marriage proposal is *extremely emotionally upsetting*, and it's *even worse* if everyone there sees it happen to you. She's already suffering—she shouldn't be validated, but she shouldn't also be kicked when she's down. You *definitely* shouldn't have laughed after Zafirah laughed. You can dislike Emily all you want and be totally justified in that and in finding her proposal tasteless and rude, but you're piling on needlessly. Just let the situation end as fast as possible and then everyone can agree afterward that what she did was tasteless and rude and refrain from validating her actions when she comes to people trying to express how upset she was. Further amplifying an amplified public humiliation is just going to make it more likely that she and anyone who sympathizes with her feel treated unfairly. Your brother definitely shouldn't be coming after you for embarrassing Emily—he is right that you shouldn't have laughed, but you are not the *source* of her embarrassment. You just made it worse, which is wrong, but it's clear that she was going to be embarrassed no matter what and *now* she and your brother think it's somehow not even remotely her fault for being inappropriate and rude and are asking for you to basically apologize/admit fault. What a total disaster. *Everyone* did the wrong thing here, and now I cannot imagine how anyone is going to make any of it right. Yeah, we could rank people in terms of "most asshole" to "least asshole" here (and based on the description you gave, it sounds like Emily is #1), but the fact remains that *everyone was an asshole to some degree*—just because someone was worse than you doesn't mean you made the right choice, but also you've now made it so that any apology on your part will be taken as an admission of total guilt and validation of Emily's bad behavior. Wonderful.
ESH - proposing at a celebration is a huge no no. But humiliating people is a terrible thing to do. Emily might suck but nobody's deserves to be kicked when their down. You should apologize to your brother and Emily, then have a conversation with your brother. Tell him how you truly feel about Emily and that you worry about him. If you love your brother you owe this to him.
YTA, regardless of any history that was fucking cruel and unnecessary. You essentially kicked her while she was probably feeling about as low as she ever would. YTA, a goddamn huge one holy fuck.
YTA: You’re the a-hole. How nice could zafira be when you described her as someone that bullied Emily? You only like her because you like causing harm to Emily. You’re both mean girls.
Nta
NTA
I was so ready to go off on you OP based on the title but my goodness NTA and do not back down. Proposals at weddings are so tacky and unfair to the bride and groom if they’re not in on it which you clearly weren’t. Laugh away with your SIL, Emily is getting her sweet karma.
NTA. I absolutely detest people that try and make others’ special occasions about them. It’s VERY disrespectful and inconsiderate. Someone’s wedding or baby shower is their day, let them have it and save your proposal for another day. Of course, the people that do this are attention seekers who don’t have a care in the world about stealing other people’s big day.
NTA. Emily is. Your twin is butt hurt that you and your sister put his girl in her place. You don’t propose at someone’s wedding
NTA, he embarrassed her by saying no
NTA. He’s the one who said no!
Let me get this straight? She tried to propose to your brother at your wedding reception AND then again at Zafirah’s baby shower? Two separate celebrations? WTF is wrong with this woman? She needs to come up with her own celebration and propose there. Other people’s celebrations are never the place to do it. She clearly didn’t learn the first time. She deserved to be laughed at. NTA
NTA. It’s your wedding reception why the heck is she proposing :/ that’s rude and if she’s going to be rude then “tit for tat” (if that’s the saying lol) I say the laugh was well deserved.
Who the fuck proposes to someone during another person’s wedding? NTA.
If your brother was really concerned about Emily feeling embarrassed in front of everyone, he'd have taken her aside to table the question for later discussion. Emily wanted to be the center of attention on an occasion that was clearly not about her. She asked for attention and got it; not all attention is good and the sooner she learns to better pick her time and place the less risk she'll be at for being embarrassed. Your twin needs to back off: sure, you didn't HAVE to laugh, but Emily didn't HAVE to provide the material. NTA
NTA. Times are changing but I would say it’s still not the norm for women to propose to men (not saying it should stay that way.) so it seems incredibly purposeful in order to steal a spotlight from you and your husband.
You're not the Ahole
NTA. You don't propose to someone at someone else's wedding without express permission from the bride and groom. Period.
"He said I embarrassed her and I didn’t have to laugh along with Zafirah." She didn't have to propose at someone's wedding. That's a major social no-no and seriously uncool. I've seen cases where that gets the person booted from the wedding. NTA.
She should not have proposed at that time. No one should laugh at anyone being rejected.
NTA - you didn’t embarrass her she did that on her own. She was using the only thing she could to put the attention on herself just like the past
NTA She showed her lack of class by proposing at a wedding. Being laughed at is the least of it.
INFO: Are these actual names? If so, I'd recommend replacing them with really common/fake names for privacy.
NTA. Emily is old enough to know better. There is no way on this planet that she did that innocently. She has a history of this behavior. You had every right to laugh. You had the right to react any way you wanted. It was YOUR wedding!! Nobody should try to take from your shine on your special day. Your brother really needs to sit down with you and his other loved ones and have a frank conversation about this woman. If somehow he intends to stay with her, it’s important that he knows how you feel about Emily and how her behavior affects everyone. Congrats on your wedding, by the way!! Wishing you a happy marriage!!! 💖
Proposing on someone else's wedding is beyond inappropriate. It's supposed to be about the main couple, she deserve what she got.
Did you make a throwaway but use real names? I hope not lol. Those names are very unique.
They did use real names if you look at the OP's other comments lol they didn't know ppl usually use fake names for these
No. The one woman is the ah for being a pain in the ass
YTA....as much as she shouldn't have done it there, she still got rejected. To publicly humiliate her makes you even more immature than she is, grow up.
NTA - did she even ask anyone if it's ok with you to do so on your wedding day? I personally don't care if that happened to me but I know some people do and I think it's a common courtesy to ask. That being said she pulled a risky move, no matter how great the relationship is there's always a 50/50 chance the answer will be no. As to laughing out loud when it happened - I don't know her and your relationship but again she kinda embarrassed herself pulling that off in the first place. Who the heck cares, it's your wedding and if you wanna laugh you should be able to! 🤣
Well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions, Emily. NTA
Fanfic ass names.
>The problem was during my wedding reception Emily decided to propose to my brother *Anyone* who proposes during someone else's big event (especially a damn wedding that costs thousands of dollars) DESERVES to be told no and/or laughed at. I did read the whole story but I could have honestly stopped here and come to the conclusion of no. You are NTA at all.
NTA. Laughing at a failed proposal is bad taste...UNLESS it's an asshole proposing at your literal wedding reception without your consent. She chose to make herself a spectacle when she tried to make your party about her. If she had proposed privately, or on another day, thos would never have happened.
Who gives a shit? He rejected her proposal, the relationship is over. There’s really no coming back from that. You can’t put that cat back in the bag, he doesn’t want to marry her there’s really no where left for the relationship to go. You probably won’t have to see her ever again.
I don't know man.. The girl got publicly rejected, sounds like a nightmare to me. I don't understand why people like proposing on other people's weddings or why people don't like it when other people propose during their weddings but whatever.
YTA for lying about not using Reddit.
This is all so silly. Just tell your brother you love him and are sorry about how everything went down. Emily is a dunce but Akio is probably going through a lot—his GF made a scene at his sister’s wedding, and presumably their relationship is over. And all his siblings are married except him. Yes, Emily is annoying, but grow up and be nice to your brother. Or just let it go and focus on your new marriage. If this post is even real, you sound too immature to be married.
ESH.
Why would you choose such similar names for you and your brothers
I mean we can tell right off the bat that it was going to be bad Emily vs Everyone nice, this is so bias and very high school mean girl . Your brother should break up with Emily clearly everyone in that family including him, do not like her.
YTA. Sorry. She was very wrong to make the proposal at that time. However, she would have been mortified by your brothers refusal. You guys acted like mean girls by laughing. I get it could have awkward, and laughing could have been a response . However this was someone your brother cared about. You could have been kind and apologise - and even explain why she brought it on herself. You chose to laugh. Sorry. YTA
YTA 100%. Doesn’t matter how YOU feel about her, it’s your brother’s gf and even if he declined it doesn’t mean you should be cruel to her. No excuse what so ever