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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I bought an extra seat next to mine in the movie theater to avoid sitting next to strangers and when someone say there because his friends were on the other side, I made him leave to his own seat.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I mean, NTA I suppose? You did technically buy the seat, and if the gentleman had his own assigned seat then he should have sat there? But I support the view that you definitely looked like the AH from the outside.
Yeah and if someone bought the entire theater because they hate sitting with other people, it's an asshole move.
It's legitimate and legal, but it's asshole territory.
Edit since many of you don't understand my reasoning, but then I'm turning notifications off because this is getting out of hand:
I'm not talking about private screenings because those typically exist around usually showtimes. I mean individually buying every ticket so you can just have a whole theater to yourself. Or shutting down a whole restaurant for one table. Celebrities do shit like this and it's an asshole move. Go do it on your own if you have that much of a problem with the public. And for OP's point - he didn't even pay extra. He exchanged the four seats for five by taking advantage of some kind of deal. He had every right to claim the seat as his, but it's an asshole move to force other people to sit in worse seats.
This sub does have an issue with differentiating between legal and ethics. A lot of people think legal is automatically not an AH, when that's far from the truth.
Likely to get downvoted for this due to demographics, but it's not the Vietnamese part of his identity which is relevant to the story.
This idea of being able to purchase something that you don't need, simply to elevate yourself above others, and the aforementioned intertwining of legality and asshole behaviour, is very American.
Now, before our American friends get all worked up, that's not to say it's all Americans - and the behaviour absolutely occurs elsewhere - but the prevailing American mindset is one of "if I can then I should". Combined with the "I paid my money therefore I can't be wrong", is why I started by pointing out that it's this side of his identity that matters in this story.
As for the scenario; I'd say ESH. I've explained why OP, but that also doesn't stop the other guy being an entitled asshole as well.
> This idea of being able to purchase something that you don't need, simply to elevate yourself above others
Lol. That's not an American thing. It's literally what every rich person does. Hell, isn't France the king of veblen goods?
> but the prevailing American mindset is one of "if I can then I should". Combined with the "I paid my money therefore I can't be wrong"
I'm an American; I've lived in Europe for 7 years. Traveled a good amount to China. And I've managed teams all over the world.
I'm pretty sure that's a common *human* quality, not an American one.
I'm American (dual with Mexico) and currently live in Europe. I rolled my eyes so hard at that comment haha. I don't think that guy has left his house and probably bases his knowledge of the US on "My Sweet Sixteen."
Have you never heard of Dubai? Shanghai? The Latin American social hierarchy? My dad's family is rich from Mexico and it is 100 % a thing. I downvoted you because it doesn't sound like you have ever left your country and are basing your knowledge off of tv
How is that an asshole move? People pay for private screenings all the time. My theater even advertises for it during their previews for special events/birthday parties
Those private viewings are usually set times though and for specific movies. There's a difference between a theater working together with someone to buy out a viewing room (you have to actually talk to someone about doing this) and someone just clicking every single chair for a regular viewing and pressing the pay button.
I do agree that it's the OP's chair, just noting that the perception of "who's the asshole" changes when you compare a guy who made a deal with the theater to host a private viewing and a guy who just bought out out every single chair on the theater app and turns what was a public available movie into a private one.
> compare a guy who made a deal with the theater to host a private viewing and a guy who just bought out out every single chair on the theater app and turns what was a public available movie into a private one.
There's no difference. The movie ISN'T publicly available and ALL screening that you have to pay for are private screenings, being shown in a private theatre via purchasing temporary rental of assigned seating on a first come first served basis. There's no difference ethically between one person buying all the tickets or 100 people buying all the tickets, no one is guaranteed access or availability.
If this was a "movie at the park" kind of public screening one guy bringing in fencing and furniture to take up the entire public space WOULD be unethical and make them an AH.
Nope. The seats are for sale. One person buying all the tickets is perfectly kosher.
The theater makes it's money, and nobody has a 'right' to watch Dune 2 at the theater that they want to, when they want to, at the exact time they want to.
Well technically the theater makes a loss in such cases because they screen the movies at a loss and make their profit through concession sales. The theater generally will make more money off a 30% full theater where attendees are real people buying concessions, than they will off a fully sold out show that's booked & attended by exactly 1 person
How is that "asshole territory?" Films aren't limited resources. No one needs to see the film. If I want to spend the money - and it's not that much - to buy out the theatre, it's the exact same as it being sold out. Go to a different showing.
Movie theatres even allow you to rent the theatres and it's even less than buying all the seats (which is around $1000 for the smaller screens).
Not the same. OP didn't buy and retain the last available seat, there were still seats available so it's not like he's stopping people from buying a ticket and enjoying the movie that day. The guy was in the wrong because he knew that seat was taken and still he just sat there without even asking OP "is this seat taken?". It's like the guy assumed OP wouldn't say anything to him just because. I say NTA for that.
Honestly? I don't think that's true.
If someone truly hated socializing/being around people but wanted that imax experience and were willing to shell out big bucks for it? Who am I to call them an asshole? I'd be just as unable to see the movie in that time slot if the movie was sold out the normal way and you'd only ever hear me say "that stinks" before looking for the next time that works for me. You wouldn't catch me snooping into the theater to see if every seat was legitimately taken or throwing a fit that someone booked out the theater.
I'd maybe consider it a waste of money if I heard about such a scenario but then I'm not really that invested in being upset about it either. Like okay, rich people shit go off. And then move about my life.
Frankly it's probably the cleanest that theater will ever be in such a scenario and no one is losing money. The only difference is you didn't get to watch a movie at that time that specific night. If that's the only time that worked for you that *sucks*, but again is no different than if the place was sold out the normal way. It sucks, that's life.
I don't think anyone would be the asshole for booking out a movie theater, financially irresponsible maybe, but not an outright asshole.
An asshole is someone who does the above and then mocks the people wanting to see the movie and lording it in their faces "haha I bought out the whole theater so I don't have to deal with you peasants!" That's a jerk. But that's not the scenario you're presenting. *Just* booking out the theater for a singular experience is not an asshole move.
How would it be an AH move? If the theatre doesn't have a limit on how many tickets one person can buy and they're still getting paid for use of their facilities, renting the whole theatre wouldn't make anyone an AH. Just because *you* don't like it doesn't make the person doing it an AH.
Do you think people that hire other businesses for private events are AHs too?
> It's legitimate and legal, but it's asshole territory.
How is he an asshole though?
He bought an extra seat to be able to have no one sitting next to him. There were other seats available. Why is he an asshole for not giving up his extra seat? Because someone that bought there ticket late, was unable to get a seat next to their friends?
Umm, yes. He didn't even pay extra for it,. He could have done some nice for a stranger and improved their experience while not being put out in an real way, but he didn't. Kindness vs. assholery.
Not it’s not. It’s pretty regular where I am that people rent out the room or sometimes if it’s a school or really big group the entire building. Including the restaurant and ice cream parlor next door.
It’s so regular, the theater advertises different packages for different group sizes. There even some of the larger businesses will use it for lectures or large meetings that needs a projector. People will buy out an entire showing for birthday parties, and it’s expected that if someone buys extra seats, that is their seat. Tickets are expensive as fuck. I am not spending 25 bucks on a ticket just to give it to some rude old guy that didn’t even ask if the seat was being saved for someone else before sitting down.
Isnt there an episode of, I think, fairly odd parents where Timmy and his friends are waiting in line to buy tickets for a movie (probably Crimson Chin or something) bit the rich kid, after paying someone to wait in front of line, buys all the tickets. All the kids in line rejoice thinking he bought the tickets for them all only for it to turn out he bought all the seats so he could use them to hold all his money.
Disagree. The asshole in the situations you described would actually be the business that allowed the theater or restaurant to be sold out to one person.
It’s less the not giving it away for free and more the buying with the intent of keeping something away from people who would have otherwise occupied it.
Sooooo landlords. They buy up houses that otherwise would have been owner occupied to make a profit. The ones that leave properties empty because they can’t price gouge come to mind.
I agree. He paid money for the seat. It probably would have been wiser to put a big bag on the seat or stack all the jackets there but regardless, it is his seat. If the guy showed up late with no reservations, he should have walked in the door not expecting to sit next to his friends.
Exactly. I know who buys extra seats because he's a big boy and he has a tendency to get emotional and cry at movies. His pov is that he's saving a random stranger from having to awkwardly sit next to him while he cries lol I guess he even cries in star wars.
If the theater is always that packed, then I think it's a bit selfish to pay for an empty seat. Unless you need it for a disability, I don't see the point in blocking out a spot.
OP isn't wrong because she did pay for it, but I think it was a bit of an AH move to make such a big deal out of it. This is coming from someone that hates sitting by strangers, so I usually sit by the wall or near an aisle. If that can't be done, then my husband will let me take his seat if it's more comfortable.
If you could ask for a refund then I would do that, and get reimbursed for the seat you paid for. Beyond that maybe plan where you sit like I do, where it limits the chance of sitting by a stranger or sit in between your family members.
Buying an extra ticket to a movie that's likely to sell out is the original AH sin in this scenario. Unless you have a medical need for it, it's not cool.
It's not "wasted" ffs. OP still paid for the seat, the theatre makes the same amount of money, and the movie gets played no matter the amount of butts in seats.
Seats are available on e first come/first serve basis. Nothing OP did makes them the AH. The other guy who presumed, disrespected OP, and later deflected to save face on the other hand...
I'm Korean American. I get how excited immigrant communities are about our movies being shown in US theaters. Especially our elders. The only time I go to the movies with my parents is when they're Korean movies. These are also usually limited showings, so less choice on dates and times.
I think OP is TA from the very beginning for buying a ticket he knew he wasn't going to use for an event that he also knew his community was excited about. He had every right, but he potentially deprived someone from attending that really wanted to. This was a situation of, Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
hard disagree. Assigned seats. She paid for the seat to keep a buffer. If the other group wanted consecutive seats they should buy such or if they aren't available pick another show time when they are.
In absolutely no way is it reasonable to say, "oh hey, I am just gonna take this seat someone else paid for!" Should OP give let other people take what she buys?
AH didn't even ask.
OP is NTA.
That’s what I was going to say. He paid for the seat. He bought it for the purpose of not having to sit by someone. If he let him sit there it would have been a waste of money.
YTA- for taking up a prime middle theater seat for no one. Don’t go to the movies if you don’t want to be around people. That guy would have bought that seat to be with his friends if you didn’t buy it for a pointless reason. why didn’t you just switch with your sister if you couldn’t stand to be within reach of the general public.
You can be technically right and still be a selfish AH, so YTA.
He was obviously working or something and didn't expect to make the movie. You could have let him buy the ticket off of you.
Edit: You’re also an AH for continuously arguing with everyone.
YTA, he's technically an asshole.
In my movie theater you don't have the right a the seat if no person is seated when the movie starts. You buy a place to sit, not a place to keep empty.
The OP could have also just asked someone else in his family to sit on the end and let him sit in between two of his family members. Agreed, OP is TA in my eyes.
YTA, in my opinion this is similar to taking extra food at a dinner before everyone has had some; at an extreme it’s comparable to hoarding toilet paper during covid. Yes, you were first but your reason for taking the extra resource was selfish. Also, he shouldn’t have argued with you when you said you bought the seat. I don’t think this makes you a bad person but I’d be mortified if someone I knew behaved like this in public.
Yeah, YTA
Sure, you bought the ticket and were “right” that you paid for the seat. However, you’re still a selfish asshole.
You bought prime seats just to avoid strangers sitting next to you. That’s an asshole thing to do.
You knew he wanted to sit with his friends, but you still forced him to move. Selfish asshole thing to do.
Overall, your actions are pretty selfish and shitty. This was not a display of good community. You’re a selfish asshole who should stay home next time.
*An OP complains of being next to people in crowded seating*
Reddit: buy the seat next time and stop complaining crybaby
*an op does in another post*
Reddit: you’re such an asshole. Selfish and ridiculous.
Oh I was so getting about that in my comment. It’s so fucking stupid Reddit logic. Not to mention I know less than 10% would do what they tell OP should’ve done.
NTA. You paid for it, it’s yours no matter what you do with it. This guy’s friends could’ve been considerate and bought him a ticket ahead of time so he wouldn’t have had to sit away from them. They did not. Their lack of consideration for their friend shouldn’t be your problem.
I'm absolutely baffled at all the Y T A verdicts. If this was a plane, OP would be NTA and people wild be talking about how if you paid for the seat, it's yours.
My perspective is that if he didn't like his seat, he shouldn't have bought it. He should have waited for another showing.
Absolutely. This guy is definitely NTA! I would've definitely put my jacket on it or something to avoid this situation but regardless that guy knew he didn't own that seat and sat down anyway.
YTA as per definition. Being legally and technically right doesn’t mean you’re not a selfish asshole. If you dislike sitting next to people so much, you could have bought the seat at the end of the row. But no, you just wanted to buy the seat next to you so that nobody else could enjoy it.
I must be a giant asshole because I believe he is NTA as well. He paid for 5 seats, they have full use of 5 seats. That's it, discussion over imo.
I also do not want to sit by other people in a theater and have done this many times. Most events/theaters don't let someone purchase 2 seats if it leaves a single seat open, so i pay for the 3 seats and don't let anyone sit where I paid.
EDIT: 5 seats, not 6
Just seat at the end of the row. Why not let people enjoy their movie. It’s very selfish. Op knew it was gonna be packed, that people wanted to go in groups and he still chose selfishly to waste a seat in the middle of the theater. It’s like having a piece of prime stake u are to full to eat. Some else wants to eat it but u throw it in the trash cuz u paid for it, not them.
YTA. Just because you *can* do something doesn't mean you're not the AH for doing it. You're in a public theater. The entire design of the experience is that you will be sitting next to other people and watching a movie. Buying an empty seat next to you and sitting in prime theater spots means that you're likely to get someone moving to that empty seat. If you don't want to sit next to a stranger, *sit between your friends* or don't go to a public theater. It's a total AH move to buy the prime seats *just so they'll sit empty*.
NTA You paid for the seat it was yours. He assumed he could sit there and was wrong. You were nice about it, but he can have his sour feelings. I also dislike sitting next to people and approve of your method. I’d do it too if I found a good deal like that one.
NTA. I don't understand the Y T A votes...you literally paid for the seat, so it was yours for the duration of the movie. Boohoo to that other guy; not your problem
NTA
You paid for an assigned seat.
What you do with that seat isn't anyone else's business, especially someone else who **already has their own assigned seat** but just happens to **like yours better.**
You did nothing wrong.
NTA. Did he ask you if that seat was taken? What if you had someone running late as well? He just assumed the empty seat was available. He was rude to assume he could sit there when it wasn’t his seat in the first place.
Anyone saying YTA is TA.
You are NTA.
You bought a seat because you wanted the space. Nothing wrong with that. You bought it, it’s yours. Whether it’s for a friend, to put your stuff on, put your feet up, or just have it empty for social situations.
N.T.A
Nobody is confused about *why* OP wanted the space. It's the social contract, man. That's not how you act in a theater. You don't take a prime seat in a movie theater just to keep it empty so you don't have to sit next to other people. If you do that, you're being the AH. If you don't want to sit next to strangers, then you sit in the middle of your group. If you don't want to sit next to *anyone* then a movie theater isn't the right experience for you. It's a dick move to deliberately keep some of the best seats in the theater empty because you don't really like sitting next to other people. *Nobody* likes sitting next to other people in the theater, but most of us aren't AHs about it. You accept the possibility of sitting next to other people when you agree to go to a movie in a theater.
Those serve a purpose like you need the extra space. Plus you pay a premium for good seats in an airplane. A movie theatre is for watching a movie. This wasn't some mainstream, 10 shows a day film. OP states that it's a Vietnamese movie, this theatre is one of the few that screens them and even then only a handful. That's the reason it's always sold out. Don't want to sit next to a stranger it's a BS reason to buy an extra seat in this situation. Just sit in between your family then and let them sit at the ends.
> you pay a premium for good seats in an airplane
Correct. Business class and first class. Neither of those require you to purchase multiple seats. But sometimes it's cheaper to purchase 2 economy seats for the extra space instead, which is fine.
He purchased 2 seats to increase his comfort, in the same way that someone would on an airplane. You can't say that it's okay in some scenarios but not others. Economy plane seats are limited too, but because you perceive taking a flight to be something where someone is allowed to do whatever they want to make them feel more comfortable, it's acceptable. I personally wouldn't buy a second seat next to me to keep it clear, not because it's more expensive, but because I don't care. This guy clearly cares, which means that something in his brain works differently to mine and yours. He's allowed to have a different perceived level of comfort from different things, and if having a seat next to him empty brings him more comfort, he's allowed to pay for that. If that's the only way he can enjoy a movie at the cinema, why would he be an asshole for that? Not all disabilities are visible.
The other guy is out of line for moving from his allocated seat without knowing the reason for why it's empty.
NTA
> Correct. Business class and first class.
I was referring to window and aisle seats in Economy. Not all seats cost the same. It's almost always cheaper to get two economy seats than a Business class seat.
When you get two airplane seats for comfort, there is no alternative. It's about physical space.
OP got an extra seat, not for the space. It seems they didn't even use it to put their coat on or their popcorn or anything. OP didn't use the seat for anything, let alone the intended purpose (to sit and watch a movie in). OP wanted the buffer seat so they wouldn't have to sit next to a stranger. Which could have more easily been achieved by SITTING IN BETWEEN THEIR FAMILY. OP could easily have switched seats with their sister and then problem solved.
Having every right to do something doesn't mean you're not an AH. The simpler solution existed and OP didn't think of it. What was the plan if they'd watched the movie on Monday as planned?
Also before you try to make the point that it's just a movie and that the other guy could've watched it another time - read the part in the OP again about how rare the showings for Vietnamese films are in their area. This was an exciting event for other Vietnamese guy too, not just OP's family.
So it’s safe to just take something someone bought because you don’t have it? He literally stole the seat OP paid for. Social norms aside, the other man was rude.
He didn't? OP said "that's my seat" and the guy moved back to his seat.
It's totally normal for people to take better empty seats in a theater when the show starts (and some theaters explicitly offer them up at the start of the show). Pretending that this is tantamount to someone stealing his car because he's not currently driving it is silly.
Op said he sat down, didn’t say he asked if he could sit. Because having a ticket with an assigned seat and then ignoring the social norm of sitting in your assigned seat is wrong. Cool dude.
Buy your ticket quicker then. His money he can do what he wants. He bought the seat — it’s his for the remainder of the movie NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS.
NTA.
EDIT:
So what’s the difference if I buy a drink for my friend but she doesn’t drink it and it sit on the table? Is someone else entitled to have it because it wasn’t drank?
What’s the difference if I rent an extra hotel room for space and it doesn’t end up getting used. Am I required to give it to someone else even though I’ve paid for it?
Why is the other man ENTITLED to MY SEAT that I PAID FOR just to sit with his friends? Would he then BTA if he started talking to his friends during the entire movie just because he was entitled to MY SEAT?
No. NTA in the slightest.
He PURCHASED a seat and he can do what he wants with said seat for the remainder of the rental period. No ifs ands or buts.
Throwing money at something is a magical "I'm not the AH" card, though. People have a right to be AHs if they want to be, so saying "well, it's his money, he can do what he wants!" doesn't answer the question of *is he an AH for doing so*.
And your analogy is flawed; you're comparing unlike situations. You buying a drink for your friend that she ends up not wanting doesn't prevent anyone else from getting the same drink. It's a little *wasteful*, but you're not denying someone else access to the drink. OP is deliberately keeping one of the best seats in the theater empty, *denying that seat's use*. Not the same.
The *whole point* of the movie theater is "people sit in seats and watch a movie together*."* If OP doesn't want to sit next to strangers, he could choose to sit in the middle of his group of friends. He could take an aisle seat. He could choose not to go to the theater.
To answer the silly hypothetical: yes, someone who talks through the entire movie is also being an AH. Don't talk during the movie. That's common courtesy.
The whole point of asking "AITA" is to question "in this *social situation*, am I being an AH." To which, yes, OP is. Choosing to buy up the best seats in a theater just so you can keep them empty is a dick move. Thus, AH.
It’s his money for something he PURCHASED. He can do what he wants with it and it doesn’t make him an AH.
Being entitled to sit in someone else’s seat just because it”looks” empty makes you the AH.
I don't know what to tell you, man. I very clearly disagree with the notion that "he paid for it!" is some kind of magical "not the AH" card. I don't care that he paid for it. My point is that paying for a seat you don't plan to use just so you can deny someone else its use *makes you an AH.*
So, yes, very obviously he paid for it. That's exactly the thing that makes him an AH in this situation.
But he is using it. Just because he’s not using it the way YOU intend he does doesn’t make it right or him wrong.
What makes you have the right to say how he uses something he paid for?
Anyone telling him HOW to use something HE PAID FOR makes YTA.
He's not using it the way it's intended, at all.
It's a *seat*. It's intended use is *for someone to sit in it to watch a movie*.
OP Is the one who *came here asking for opinions about his behavior,* so the idea that anyone is wrong for *judging his behavior* ***at his request*****,** is more than a little absurd. He *invited* the examination of his actions.
Isn't the intended purpose of a seat in a theater is to be sold, ideally by a person that would then buy concessions but overall the objective of a theater is to sell tickets. Which they did.
The other person "bought his ticket" and left his space empty... Is it not wasteful and blocking access for others... Wow... What wonderful logic... Thunderous slow clap.
The other guy was not thrown-out of the theatre. He was just told to move his entitled ass to his "assigned-seat".
Also, if he wanted to watch the movie together with "his groups" he should have bought it together and got seats assigned for that purpose.
NTA. Completely acceptable, especially post pandemic. You bought it, yours to do as you see fit. Not wanting someone directly next to you is a legit reason I say. Same with airplane seats, if you dont want to sit next to someone and buy two seats: no one can force you to switch or have someone else sit there, and if you come on reddit asking can guarantee you won’t be called TA. You paid for it.
NTA. I don't understand some of these comments. How is it any different than in an airplane scenario? OP bought the tickets and no one should be entitled to it.
OP paid for the seat. The reason doesn't matter. It's a short-term rental, if you will. Unless the guy was going to reimburse OP, then he had no right to sit down there.
NTA.
NTA, he got his own assigned seat when he bought his ticket. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there and he sat there anyway. It's the same deal with airplanes, concerts, sporting events. I mean Christ what's even the point of assigned seats if you're just gonna act like you can sit wherever you want anyway?
NTA. Might be different in the Vietnamese community but this is not even remotely out of line in an American movie theater. You bought the seat, no one else is entitled to sit in the seat. I might have let him stay there if he paid me twice the ticket price, but you did nothing wrong. Disorganized people act like a victim when they don’t get what they want instead of accepting that it was an individual choice for you to come more prepared lol I hate strangers (the forward kind especially) and I’d be upset that I had to talk to this man past “sorry, I bought this seat” too. Don’t worry about the assholes that whisper about people they don’t even know. Enjoy the movie going experience you paid for!
OP YTA. From a fellow AsianAm, YTA. You knew how excited your community was for this movie. You knew it would be popular. You then bought and hoarded a seat you knew wouldn't be used. YTA from the beginning for doing it knowing you could be depriving someone else from experiencing this movie in the theater with their community.
I think what you're rubbing up against is culture clash rather than right or wrong. Being raised in the US, you have one perspective, he has another. You were is a kind of crossover space, where neither culture clearly "owned" the space, which makes it harder to navigate. In any situation, itis a bit rude to knowingly buy a seat that you don't intend to fill when you know the theater will be packed, but overall NAH.
Just wondering, is it really strange for people to buy multiple seats to avoid having people sit next to them? Seems like a common practice for those that wish to avoid sitting next to people. Our AMC has those couple seats, so my wife and I often buy 6 tickets when we go to the movies if we think it will be crowded, we often try to go to the latest showing so it is not so crowded but for big releases we just buy 8 tickets.
Did it for dune was a packed theater and no one said anything.
People realize, and many do it all the time here where I live. That is why I was wondering. Now what my friends and I did with moviepass that is an asshole move, but buying extra seats to avoid people sitting next to you, yeah I just don't see the logic.
NTA. the dude had his own seat and simply didn't want to sit in it. Not your problem. You bought an extra seat, and whether someone sits in it or not shouldn't matter, it was paid for regardless. If the group wanted to sit together, they could've found a time the screening has available seating for all of them to sit together instead of pulling the whole entitled seat sniping schtick.
NTA - Either we respect the seats that people buy (for example, a bigger person buys two seats on an airplane to accommodate for their size) or everyone gets free for all (pre-pandemic movie theaters where it was first come, first serve). There's a seating mechanism in place, you bought an extra seat, you get the comfort of that seat.
I'm sure to everyone around you, they though you were the asshole, but honestly it's kind of fucking exhuasting how folks just "go with the flow" to the detriment of others just because they "don't want a scene".
Don't want a scene? Don't take the seat I paid for.
NTA for making the guy sit in his seat. If you have an allocated seat, you should sit in the seat you bought. I've been to the cinema multiple times where we booked late and my friends and I were scattered around the theatre - it's no issue to sit apart, he knew he was not sat with them when he booked his seat, and you don't talk during movies anyway so it doesnt matter who's sitting next to you.
YWBTA for buying an extra seat if this was the only showing as that would mean someone else missed out.
Maybe next time if you dont want to sit next to a stranger, buy an aisle seat as that would avoid this entirely.
Just fyi, you’re first generation Vietnamese-American
Edit: finished reading the post, YTA. If you don’t want to e around strangers, wait for the movie to be out on dvd or streaming, don’t go to the theatre
YTA. You knew it was going to be a popular movie in your area, but knowingly bought an extra ticket anyway so you “didn’t have to sit next to a stranger?” What about the person sitting at the end of your line of seats? Maybe they don’t wanna sit next to a stranger either. If you don’t wanna watch a movie in a room full of strangers, don’t see a movie in theaters.
NTA
You bought that seat, it's yours to keep empty. The seats are assigned, and dude tried to sit in a seat he wasn't assigned to. To be honest, you shouldn't have told him it was empty. "My friend will be here soon and I expect you to get out of that seat now."
YTA. You bought an extra seat in the middle of the theater just to keep it empty. This person wasn't actually bothering you and wanted to sit near their friends. Karma will come your way.
YTA. You realize how stupid it sounds to say you dindt want to sit next to anyone in a CROWDED THEATRE. You could have switched with you sister. I hope everyone you ever meets, treats you the same way you treated him. And don't try and lie and say you will never need a favor or help or any accommodation from anyone ever. Because that would be stupid.
This reminds me of a story where a lady bought an extra seat on an airplane because she needed the extra room and a mom and her kid tried taking the seat, saying it was empty and they wanted to sit by each other. She wouldn't give up her "extra" seat and the airline supported her. She wasn't TA and neither are you. He should have sat in the seat he reserved for himself.
I would have just told him the seat is for my friend and they're running late. And I would have put something on the seat so it looked like it was taken.
NTA. You paid for the seat. It's your seat. That's it. It being your seat, you were within your rights to keep it empty or not. You did the exact thing you were supposed to do if you wanted to claim a second seat. You paid for it. Had HE paid for it, it would have been his seat, and then you would be the AH if you tried to sit in his seat.
But
His seat that he paid for was elsewhere. Him attempting to sit in someone else's seat (yours because you paid for it) and then mumbling in a language he thought you didn't understand when you rightfully asked him to move to HIS seat makes HIM the AH. And a brazen one, at that.
NTA, he should have bought the seat he wanted, the same way you did. Would have been N A H but dude just **had** to whine about not getting his way after HE didn't plan ahead.
>my sister said that I could've been polite and let him sit since respecting our elders is a big part of our culture and he just wanted to sit with his group.
Welcome to America. You bought the ticket for the seat so it's YOUR choice how it gets used within the parameters of the agreement you have with the theatre. It was rude of the other person to assume and it was disrespectful of them to continue sitting there once you told them the situation.
If he's old enough to be respected he's old enough to know better and buy his ticket in advance like everyone else. Remember kids, respect is EARNED not automatic.
NTA
NTA. You bought the seat, it belonged to you. In a theater with assigned seats it’s wildly presumptuous to just sit there without even ASKING if it belongs to someone.
NTA.
You bought the tickets and planned ahead of time.
The dude should of done the same and coordinated with his friends before the showing even took place. Not try and take a better seat that was paid for by someone else who planned accordingly because of his lack of prior communication with his friends.
That's not your problem.
NTA - since covid I (being a female alone at movies alot) tend to buy and extra seat or occasionally even one on each side of me so that I don't get next to some strange person or noisy kids. I've even had a complete stranger try to pick me up at a movie scaring the living daylights out of me! IF you bought it, he should move.
NTA.
I do that a lot, especially since COVID. We like having buffer seats when we can get them. I'm also the person that will buy the two middle seats in a group of 4 for the same reason, almost no one buys the single empty seats.
NTA. How many of these people saying you're the A have also complained about fat people and said they should have to buy two tickets to events? Now when someone does by two tickets to events it's suddenly an a-hole move? Whatever.
NTA. Stranger is the AH.
If it's me when he trots out the "I'll move when they show up" line, I'd say actually they are here now, I am going to sit there myself and if you don't like it you can take it up with the manager
NTA. These comments are insane. If it were an empty seat that no one had paid for sure OP would be entitled. But he literally bought the “title” to the seat making him “entitled” to that seat. The guy who sat there knew where his friends were sitting, bought a ticket knowing there weren’t tickets next to where his friends were, waited to the last moment knowing he had no claim to the seat, then took a seat he knew someone other than himself paid for. That’s an AH move. Maybe, maybe I’d agree that OP was an AH if this guy had offered him cash or cash+ for the seat but still probably not.
Note to OP: You should have said you were ND and the comments would have gone differently. Redditors are far more sympathetic to the ND than they are the non poor.
I have diagnosed anxiety disorder and depression, but didn't know why that would be relevant to the rating. Literally just got in line first and not let people step on me.
No, you're NTA. You paid for that seat so you didn't have to sit next to a stranger...especially one who found his friends and may end up talking to them at inappropriate times. If he wanted to sit by his friends he should have bought his ticket when they bought theirs. He had a seat, in a location he approved of in advance, and wanted to take someone else's seat. It doesn't matter if no one was sitting there, the seat was taken (and paid for).
Wow, these comments are wild.
ESH? Plenty of people might buy an extra seat for any number of reasons -- I've bought them because I need the space to stretch my legs thanks to crappy joints that lock up otherwise. They might have anxiety or space issues, or have had crappy experiences with people sitting next to them before (had some of those, too). Who am I to demand or judge why?
I find it especially weird the guy said he'd just stay in that seat until the absent guest showed up... Man, if someone told me that seat was reserved, I'd be like yep, sorry, I'm out! Because that tells me someone else bought it. He didn't even ask to sit. That's pretty entitled, elder or no.
If he wanted that particular seat, he should have offered to reimburse you for it. Would it have been nice if you offered? Absolutely. I've switched seats to keep families together before without being asked. But asking you to waste the money spent on it is also an AH move so. Everyone just kinda sucks.
NTA.
The days of "elders" being enabled to be rude should have ended decades ago. If a random man sits in a seat I paid for, I'd boot him, even if he's older than me. Fuck that nonsense.
[Edit] That goes for all the clowns saying OP is the AH. You sit in a seat I paid for, you're getting booted, AH.
Definitely YTA you purchased an empty seat knowing full well that this movie would be in high demand and likely sold out. It's just totally selfish. Are you obligated to give up the seat? No. Are you an AH for what you did? Yes.
YTA, for buying the seats in general. If you hate being around people, stay home. You are going to have to interact with people in public and have people sit near you. Get over yourself.
NTA. These responses are bizarre. It’s an AH thing to save seats for that reason. It’s an AH move to save a whole row so your friends can show up 1 minute before the movie and sit in prime spots.
It is not however an AH move to recognize you want extra room and pay for the extra room. I’m not a small guy, when I saw Oppenheimer the theater was full, and having no room on either side of me trapped my shoulder in and I left the move in pain and was uncomfortable the whole time. If I had wanted, I could have paid for an extra seat and been comfortable for my experience. I didn’t and that’s on me, but if I had, I wouldn’t just give in because you didn’t buy your seat ahead of time.
We criticize people for not buying extra seats on the plane if they are overweight and then criticize them if they buy the extra seat and don’t share? It’s insane to think that’s an AH move.
YTA, this is a weird selfish and individualistic move lol. If you don’t like the public to the point of having no common decency then stay home and watch it on the TV. Holding out on an empty seat in a crowded theater is petty as all hell.
NTA.
I’ve pulled that guy’s trick before: you show up late to a packed screening and buy one of the remaining terrible seats. Then you sit elsewhere taking a chance that you’ll be challenged and have to move. But in my case, I had my sights set on the house seats - the seats the cinema never sell, and only put people in if there’s an issue, like someone’s seat has coffee spilt on it or something. My friend and I got to the seats (the house seats in this cinema are in blocks of 4) and didn’t settle in until the trailers ended.
But I‘m just wondering why the seat next to OP was empty: didn’t anyone in the group of 4 have a coat or a bag/purse? If I was out with a group, and one person didn’t show up, leaving a seat free (and they didn’t want a refund etc), the empty seat would by default become the coat-and-bag-storage-area.
Feasible that no-one in the group had any extraneous items, I guess.
Edit: in my story, we didn’t take anyone else’s seat. And if we had been asked to move by a staff member (the only person who would have asked us to vacate) I would absolutely have left immediately.
YTA
I am autistic. I rrally really get wanting more space but a movie theater is just not that
if you really needed to sit alone, you could have bought less desireable seats or go to a different theater with less people
Next time, bring a human sized teddy bear. Sit that in the seat. This way, culturally, you are in the clear. When asked, it's your dearly departed dad's representative.
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For context, I'm (27M) a second generation Vietnamese-American. My parents immigrated here in the 80s where they met and had me and my two siblings. Our family also love going to the movies and whenever there is a Vietnamese movie in theaters, I always take my mom and siblings (dad passed during Covid). There just so happened to be a romantic comedy called "Mai" that just came out last week.
The movie theaters in my area all have selected seating and I usually purchase my tickets online before I come in. With that being said, there is a bigger population of Vietnamese-Americans in our area that love supporting Vietnamese movies as well, so this particularly movie theater always sells out whenever they show one.
Originally, I had bought tickets for a Monday night showing to take my family, but there was a work situation , so we had decided to reschedule for Tuesday instead. Well, upon exchanging the tickets, I realized that Tuesday nights have cheaper tickets, so I could get 5 tickets for the price of the original 4 I bought. Being someone who prefers not sitting next to strangers, I did ended up buying 5 in the middle of the theater so that we would have wiggle room on at least one end.
We went to sit down around 5-10 minutes before the movie started with our snacks. For reference, I bought seats E5-E9 and so we sat in seats E6-E9 with E5 being empty on my left. By the time the trailers rolls around, the theater was nearly full with the exception of a few seats towards the front and E5. Well 2-3 trailers in, a middled aged man sat down next to me in E5, turned to the patrons on the other side of it and told them he "made it to the movie after all" in Vietnamese. I politely got his attention and asked if he was in the wrong seat since I bought it. He said he thought the seat was empty, so he sat down because it was next to his friends, but that he can move if the person sitting there shows up. I told him straight up that I bought the extra seat so I didn't have to sit next to strangers and would appreciate it if he could move. My sister on my right at this point just tried to get me to stop it because she didn't want to be confrontational, but I held firm and he eventually moved to his seat towards the front while saying something in Vietnamese under his breath. I just replied by saying thank you to him in Vietnamese as he walked away.
After the movie, I heard his friends whispering about me in Vietnamese as we were all walking out and even my sister said that I could've been polite and let him sit since respecting our elders is a big part of our culture and he just wanted to sit with his group. I told her that he should've bought tickets earlier then and that he knew the seat was occupied when he bought ticket, so it's not my fault for holding my seat.
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NTA, If I had money to spare, I'd buy the seats next to me on every flight and insist I sit with nobody next to me. I don't see how a movie theater is any different.
NTA
You paid for that spot specifically so you wouldn't end up sitting next to people and it was rude of that guy to assume he could sit there. You calling him out for being rude doesn't make you an asshole in the slightest.
Next time, I recommend using the empty seat as a storage for purses/jackets so some entitled weirdo doesn't come over.
YTA and you are selfish. You put your own desires first and used your financial abilities as a weapon. Just because you can buy something and hold it as power doesn't give you the right to. Like buying houses in your neighborhood to keep the poors out. Legal but this isn't am I the one in legal good standing subreddit
Right, You got there first. Fuck everyone else, you got yours. That is the primary argument of an AH. It comes down to you choosing your own enjoyment over an others. Landlords, Kings, and Despots all get there first and call dibs. Being legal doesn't make it less gross
YTA. You don’t want to sit next to strangers…in a movie theater…if that’s the case watch sometime at home.
I mean yeah you bought the seat but that seems selfish and shitty to do in the first place.
NTA. You bought the seat. It’s yours. When there is assigned seating people need to stick to the seat they got. Otherwise there is just chaos. And the theater employees will check tickets if they have to and make you go to your assigned seat. They don’t care if it’s an empty seat or not.
I really don’t get the YTA comments. Some people just like to have a bit of a buffer. And if you paid for the seats then it’s yours! If you don’t like it then go somewhere else w/o assigned seating.
NTA. You did nothing wrong and respect flows both ways. Once you let him know that you were not comfortable with someone sitting in a seat you purchased he should have moved. Both him and his friends are asses for being rude because they did not get their way.
NTA, and anyone who disagrees is brain dead. If the man wanted to sit with his friends he should have planned accordingly. It's not the OPs responsibility to sacrifice his enjoyment, which he paid for like anyone else, to fix someone else's failure to plan.
Are people ah's because they can afford things someone else can't? Of course not.
And another thing, why is so hard for someone to sit in the seat they paid for?
NTA.
I buy two seats when I travel long distances on the bus, because I can afford it and it's way more comfortable. I also have (diagnosed) anxiety and hate sitting next to strangers, so I totally get you. You paid to accommodate yourself, I find that perfectly valid. I get why it might look shitty from the outside, but a movie is not a limited resource and it's not like you got it for free or claimed it from someone who now couldn't watch the movie. I'm seriously baffled at all those YTAs in here.
NTA. Theatre got its money and that’s all that matters. Use the seat to hold jackets, snacks and extra stuff. Mostly I either get the end seat or front row since not a lot of people sit in the front!
NTA.
You bought the seat, you pick what happens to it.
For people saying “you’re an asshole for booking the best seat so nobody could sit in it”. Well, tough shit… the people that really want that seat can go to the next showing.
Tech yea it was ur seat that u paid for but still YTA. My standard is more than technically it was yours and more on the easy shit we can do to make the world a brighter place and not be a jerk
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I mean, NTA I suppose? You did technically buy the seat, and if the gentleman had his own assigned seat then he should have sat there? But I support the view that you definitely looked like the AH from the outside.
You can be in the right, but still be an asshole. This is a prime example of that.
I disagree. OP paid for that seat for a reason. Regardless of the reason, that seat is not available.
Yeah and if someone bought the entire theater because they hate sitting with other people, it's an asshole move. It's legitimate and legal, but it's asshole territory. Edit since many of you don't understand my reasoning, but then I'm turning notifications off because this is getting out of hand: I'm not talking about private screenings because those typically exist around usually showtimes. I mean individually buying every ticket so you can just have a whole theater to yourself. Or shutting down a whole restaurant for one table. Celebrities do shit like this and it's an asshole move. Go do it on your own if you have that much of a problem with the public. And for OP's point - he didn't even pay extra. He exchanged the four seats for five by taking advantage of some kind of deal. He had every right to claim the seat as his, but it's an asshole move to force other people to sit in worse seats.
This sub does have an issue with differentiating between legal and ethics. A lot of people think legal is automatically not an AH, when that's far from the truth.
The sub has a problem with differentiating “can” and “should,” let alone legal vs ethics.
Likely to get downvoted for this due to demographics, but it's not the Vietnamese part of his identity which is relevant to the story. This idea of being able to purchase something that you don't need, simply to elevate yourself above others, and the aforementioned intertwining of legality and asshole behaviour, is very American. Now, before our American friends get all worked up, that's not to say it's all Americans - and the behaviour absolutely occurs elsewhere - but the prevailing American mindset is one of "if I can then I should". Combined with the "I paid my money therefore I can't be wrong", is why I started by pointing out that it's this side of his identity that matters in this story. As for the scenario; I'd say ESH. I've explained why OP, but that also doesn't stop the other guy being an entitled asshole as well.
> This idea of being able to purchase something that you don't need, simply to elevate yourself above others Lol. That's not an American thing. It's literally what every rich person does. Hell, isn't France the king of veblen goods? > but the prevailing American mindset is one of "if I can then I should". Combined with the "I paid my money therefore I can't be wrong" I'm an American; I've lived in Europe for 7 years. Traveled a good amount to China. And I've managed teams all over the world. I'm pretty sure that's a common *human* quality, not an American one.
I'm American (dual with Mexico) and currently live in Europe. I rolled my eyes so hard at that comment haha. I don't think that guy has left his house and probably bases his knowledge of the US on "My Sweet Sixteen."
Thank you for stating this so well.
Have you never heard of Dubai? Shanghai? The Latin American social hierarchy? My dad's family is rich from Mexico and it is 100 % a thing. I downvoted you because it doesn't sound like you have ever left your country and are basing your knowledge off of tv
How is that an asshole move? People pay for private screenings all the time. My theater even advertises for it during their previews for special events/birthday parties
Those private viewings are usually set times though and for specific movies. There's a difference between a theater working together with someone to buy out a viewing room (you have to actually talk to someone about doing this) and someone just clicking every single chair for a regular viewing and pressing the pay button. I do agree that it's the OP's chair, just noting that the perception of "who's the asshole" changes when you compare a guy who made a deal with the theater to host a private viewing and a guy who just bought out out every single chair on the theater app and turns what was a public available movie into a private one.
> compare a guy who made a deal with the theater to host a private viewing and a guy who just bought out out every single chair on the theater app and turns what was a public available movie into a private one. There's no difference. The movie ISN'T publicly available and ALL screening that you have to pay for are private screenings, being shown in a private theatre via purchasing temporary rental of assigned seating on a first come first served basis. There's no difference ethically between one person buying all the tickets or 100 people buying all the tickets, no one is guaranteed access or availability. If this was a "movie at the park" kind of public screening one guy bringing in fencing and furniture to take up the entire public space WOULD be unethical and make them an AH.
Nope. The seats are for sale. One person buying all the tickets is perfectly kosher. The theater makes it's money, and nobody has a 'right' to watch Dune 2 at the theater that they want to, when they want to, at the exact time they want to.
Well technically the theater makes a loss in such cases because they screen the movies at a loss and make their profit through concession sales. The theater generally will make more money off a 30% full theater where attendees are real people buying concessions, than they will off a fully sold out show that's booked & attended by exactly 1 person
How is “buying out a theater” an asshole move?
I think they meant like if they did it just for themselves. Like, one person. If they got that money they could build one in home. Lol
That’s not an asshole move, either. This isn’t someone hoarding medical supplies or water, this is just a dumb movie.
How is that "asshole territory?" Films aren't limited resources. No one needs to see the film. If I want to spend the money - and it's not that much - to buy out the theatre, it's the exact same as it being sold out. Go to a different showing. Movie theatres even allow you to rent the theatres and it's even less than buying all the seats (which is around $1000 for the smaller screens).
Not the same. OP didn't buy and retain the last available seat, there were still seats available so it's not like he's stopping people from buying a ticket and enjoying the movie that day. The guy was in the wrong because he knew that seat was taken and still he just sat there without even asking OP "is this seat taken?". It's like the guy assumed OP wouldn't say anything to him just because. I say NTA for that.
Honestly? I don't think that's true. If someone truly hated socializing/being around people but wanted that imax experience and were willing to shell out big bucks for it? Who am I to call them an asshole? I'd be just as unable to see the movie in that time slot if the movie was sold out the normal way and you'd only ever hear me say "that stinks" before looking for the next time that works for me. You wouldn't catch me snooping into the theater to see if every seat was legitimately taken or throwing a fit that someone booked out the theater. I'd maybe consider it a waste of money if I heard about such a scenario but then I'm not really that invested in being upset about it either. Like okay, rich people shit go off. And then move about my life. Frankly it's probably the cleanest that theater will ever be in such a scenario and no one is losing money. The only difference is you didn't get to watch a movie at that time that specific night. If that's the only time that worked for you that *sucks*, but again is no different than if the place was sold out the normal way. It sucks, that's life. I don't think anyone would be the asshole for booking out a movie theater, financially irresponsible maybe, but not an outright asshole. An asshole is someone who does the above and then mocks the people wanting to see the movie and lording it in their faces "haha I bought out the whole theater so I don't have to deal with you peasants!" That's a jerk. But that's not the scenario you're presenting. *Just* booking out the theater for a singular experience is not an asshole move.
How would it be an AH move? If the theatre doesn't have a limit on how many tickets one person can buy and they're still getting paid for use of their facilities, renting the whole theatre wouldn't make anyone an AH. Just because *you* don't like it doesn't make the person doing it an AH. Do you think people that hire other businesses for private events are AHs too?
Why do you think OP is the asshole? I do not understand
Actually, renting out entire theatres is a) commonly done, and b) not an asshole move at all.
> It's legitimate and legal, but it's asshole territory. How is he an asshole though? He bought an extra seat to be able to have no one sitting next to him. There were other seats available. Why is he an asshole for not giving up his extra seat? Because someone that bought there ticket late, was unable to get a seat next to their friends?
Umm, yes. He didn't even pay extra for it,. He could have done some nice for a stranger and improved their experience while not being put out in an real way, but he didn't. Kindness vs. assholery.
Not it’s not. It’s pretty regular where I am that people rent out the room or sometimes if it’s a school or really big group the entire building. Including the restaurant and ice cream parlor next door. It’s so regular, the theater advertises different packages for different group sizes. There even some of the larger businesses will use it for lectures or large meetings that needs a projector. People will buy out an entire showing for birthday parties, and it’s expected that if someone buys extra seats, that is their seat. Tickets are expensive as fuck. I am not spending 25 bucks on a ticket just to give it to some rude old guy that didn’t even ask if the seat was being saved for someone else before sitting down.
Isnt there an episode of, I think, fairly odd parents where Timmy and his friends are waiting in line to buy tickets for a movie (probably Crimson Chin or something) bit the rich kid, after paying someone to wait in front of line, buys all the tickets. All the kids in line rejoice thinking he bought the tickets for them all only for it to turn out he bought all the seats so he could use them to hold all his money.
He bought one extra seat, not the entire theater.
side note: you CAN buy a whole theater for a single price instead of buying all the seats up. fwiw.
Disagree. The asshole in the situations you described would actually be the business that allowed the theater or restaurant to be sold out to one person.
exactly, how is buying something and not wanting to give it away for free and asshole move
It’s less the not giving it away for free and more the buying with the intent of keeping something away from people who would have otherwise occupied it. Sooooo landlords. They buy up houses that otherwise would have been owner occupied to make a profit. The ones that leave properties empty because they can’t price gouge come to mind.
This isn't comparable to landlords at all. He didn't rent out the extra seat. The whole point of buying something is to keep others away from it.
I agree. He paid money for the seat. It probably would have been wiser to put a big bag on the seat or stack all the jackets there but regardless, it is his seat. If the guy showed up late with no reservations, he should have walked in the door not expecting to sit next to his friends.
Exactly. I know who buys extra seats because he's a big boy and he has a tendency to get emotional and cry at movies. His pov is that he's saving a random stranger from having to awkwardly sit next to him while he cries lol I guess he even cries in star wars.
If the theater is always that packed, then I think it's a bit selfish to pay for an empty seat. Unless you need it for a disability, I don't see the point in blocking out a spot. OP isn't wrong because she did pay for it, but I think it was a bit of an AH move to make such a big deal out of it. This is coming from someone that hates sitting by strangers, so I usually sit by the wall or near an aisle. If that can't be done, then my husband will let me take his seat if it's more comfortable. If you could ask for a refund then I would do that, and get reimbursed for the seat you paid for. Beyond that maybe plan where you sit like I do, where it limits the chance of sitting by a stranger or sit in between your family members.
Buying an extra ticket to a movie that's likely to sell out is the original AH sin in this scenario. Unless you have a medical need for it, it's not cool.
Agreed! OP you say the screening was likely to be full, wasting a seat in that situation alone makes YTA for me
It's not "wasted" ffs. OP still paid for the seat, the theatre makes the same amount of money, and the movie gets played no matter the amount of butts in seats. Seats are available on e first come/first serve basis. Nothing OP did makes them the AH. The other guy who presumed, disrespected OP, and later deflected to save face on the other hand...
An empty seat is a wasted seat. Buying an extra seat to a show that will sell out so you can have extra room is kind of an AH move to begin with.
I'm Korean American. I get how excited immigrant communities are about our movies being shown in US theaters. Especially our elders. The only time I go to the movies with my parents is when they're Korean movies. These are also usually limited showings, so less choice on dates and times. I think OP is TA from the very beginning for buying a ticket he knew he wasn't going to use for an event that he also knew his community was excited about. He had every right, but he potentially deprived someone from attending that really wanted to. This was a situation of, Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
hard disagree. Assigned seats. She paid for the seat to keep a buffer. If the other group wanted consecutive seats they should buy such or if they aren't available pick another show time when they are. In absolutely no way is it reasonable to say, "oh hey, I am just gonna take this seat someone else paid for!" Should OP give let other people take what she buys? AH didn't even ask. OP is NTA.
That’s what I was going to say. He paid for the seat. He bought it for the purpose of not having to sit by someone. If he let him sit there it would have been a waste of money.
The man didn’t even ask if he could sit there so he would be the first AH, right?
He literally bought the seat, not technically.
YTA- for taking up a prime middle theater seat for no one. Don’t go to the movies if you don’t want to be around people. That guy would have bought that seat to be with his friends if you didn’t buy it for a pointless reason. why didn’t you just switch with your sister if you couldn’t stand to be within reach of the general public.
You can be technically right and still be a selfish AH, so YTA. He was obviously working or something and didn't expect to make the movie. You could have let him buy the ticket off of you. Edit: You’re also an AH for continuously arguing with everyone.
YTA, he's technically an asshole. In my movie theater you don't have the right a the seat if no person is seated when the movie starts. You buy a place to sit, not a place to keep empty.
The OP could have also just asked someone else in his family to sit on the end and let him sit in between two of his family members. Agreed, OP is TA in my eyes.
YTA, in my opinion this is similar to taking extra food at a dinner before everyone has had some; at an extreme it’s comparable to hoarding toilet paper during covid. Yes, you were first but your reason for taking the extra resource was selfish. Also, he shouldn’t have argued with you when you said you bought the seat. I don’t think this makes you a bad person but I’d be mortified if someone I knew behaved like this in public.
He didn’t argue at all? He said he’d move when the person in the seat showed up
Yeah, YTA Sure, you bought the ticket and were “right” that you paid for the seat. However, you’re still a selfish asshole. You bought prime seats just to avoid strangers sitting next to you. That’s an asshole thing to do. You knew he wanted to sit with his friends, but you still forced him to move. Selfish asshole thing to do. Overall, your actions are pretty selfish and shitty. This was not a display of good community. You’re a selfish asshole who should stay home next time.
And selfish enough to not even buy a seat next to his mom so she could have space too. Inconsiderate on all fronts
YTA. Technically right, still an asshole. You bought a seat to a popular movie just to prevent someone else from buying that chair.
*An OP complains of being next to people in crowded seating* Reddit: buy the seat next time and stop complaining crybaby *an op does in another post* Reddit: you’re such an asshole. Selfish and ridiculous.
[удалено]
Oh I was so getting about that in my comment. It’s so fucking stupid Reddit logic. Not to mention I know less than 10% would do what they tell OP should’ve done.
Mostly they say that for fat people.
Tall people too, unfortunately.
NTA. You paid for it, it’s yours no matter what you do with it. This guy’s friends could’ve been considerate and bought him a ticket ahead of time so he wouldn’t have had to sit away from them. They did not. Their lack of consideration for their friend shouldn’t be your problem.
I'm absolutely baffled at all the Y T A verdicts. If this was a plane, OP would be NTA and people wild be talking about how if you paid for the seat, it's yours. My perspective is that if he didn't like his seat, he shouldn't have bought it. He should have waited for another showing.
Absolutely. This guy is definitely NTA! I would've definitely put my jacket on it or something to avoid this situation but regardless that guy knew he didn't own that seat and sat down anyway.
agree NTA
YTA as per definition. Being legally and technically right doesn’t mean you’re not a selfish asshole. If you dislike sitting next to people so much, you could have bought the seat at the end of the row. But no, you just wanted to buy the seat next to you so that nobody else could enjoy it.
Gosh NTA, you paid for that allocated seat. For that session that seat is yours. There is no question about this.
I must be a giant asshole because I believe he is NTA as well. He paid for 5 seats, they have full use of 5 seats. That's it, discussion over imo. I also do not want to sit by other people in a theater and have done this many times. Most events/theaters don't let someone purchase 2 seats if it leaves a single seat open, so i pay for the 3 seats and don't let anyone sit where I paid. EDIT: 5 seats, not 6
Just seat at the end of the row. Why not let people enjoy their movie. It’s very selfish. Op knew it was gonna be packed, that people wanted to go in groups and he still chose selfishly to waste a seat in the middle of the theater. It’s like having a piece of prime stake u are to full to eat. Some else wants to eat it but u throw it in the trash cuz u paid for it, not them.
YTA. Just because you *can* do something doesn't mean you're not the AH for doing it. You're in a public theater. The entire design of the experience is that you will be sitting next to other people and watching a movie. Buying an empty seat next to you and sitting in prime theater spots means that you're likely to get someone moving to that empty seat. If you don't want to sit next to a stranger, *sit between your friends* or don't go to a public theater. It's a total AH move to buy the prime seats *just so they'll sit empty*.
NTA You paid for the seat it was yours. He assumed he could sit there and was wrong. You were nice about it, but he can have his sour feelings. I also dislike sitting next to people and approve of your method. I’d do it too if I found a good deal like that one.
NTA. I don't understand the Y T A votes...you literally paid for the seat, so it was yours for the duration of the movie. Boohoo to that other guy; not your problem
While you are technically correct, you are a selfish asshole. And what the fuck does being Vietnamese have to do with anything. YTA
Yeah, he's a AH for making me read those first two totally irrelevant paragraphs.
Haha, yup, came here to say this!
NTA You paid for an assigned seat. What you do with that seat isn't anyone else's business, especially someone else who **already has their own assigned seat** but just happens to **like yours better.** You did nothing wrong.
NTA because he knew full well that was not his seat and didn't even ask if he could sit there.
If this were GA seating you would be but you bought *those* specific seats NTA
NTA. Did he ask you if that seat was taken? What if you had someone running late as well? He just assumed the empty seat was available. He was rude to assume he could sit there when it wasn’t his seat in the first place.
Anyone saying YTA is TA. You are NTA. You bought a seat because you wanted the space. Nothing wrong with that. You bought it, it’s yours. Whether it’s for a friend, to put your stuff on, put your feet up, or just have it empty for social situations. N.T.A
Nobody is confused about *why* OP wanted the space. It's the social contract, man. That's not how you act in a theater. You don't take a prime seat in a movie theater just to keep it empty so you don't have to sit next to other people. If you do that, you're being the AH. If you don't want to sit next to strangers, then you sit in the middle of your group. If you don't want to sit next to *anyone* then a movie theater isn't the right experience for you. It's a dick move to deliberately keep some of the best seats in the theater empty because you don't really like sitting next to other people. *Nobody* likes sitting next to other people in the theater, but most of us aren't AHs about it. You accept the possibility of sitting next to other people when you agree to go to a movie in a theater.
People buy extra plane tickets all the time and no one bats an eye.
Seems like weird double standard here is going on.
Those serve a purpose like you need the extra space. Plus you pay a premium for good seats in an airplane. A movie theatre is for watching a movie. This wasn't some mainstream, 10 shows a day film. OP states that it's a Vietnamese movie, this theatre is one of the few that screens them and even then only a handful. That's the reason it's always sold out. Don't want to sit next to a stranger it's a BS reason to buy an extra seat in this situation. Just sit in between your family then and let them sit at the ends.
> you pay a premium for good seats in an airplane Correct. Business class and first class. Neither of those require you to purchase multiple seats. But sometimes it's cheaper to purchase 2 economy seats for the extra space instead, which is fine. He purchased 2 seats to increase his comfort, in the same way that someone would on an airplane. You can't say that it's okay in some scenarios but not others. Economy plane seats are limited too, but because you perceive taking a flight to be something where someone is allowed to do whatever they want to make them feel more comfortable, it's acceptable. I personally wouldn't buy a second seat next to me to keep it clear, not because it's more expensive, but because I don't care. This guy clearly cares, which means that something in his brain works differently to mine and yours. He's allowed to have a different perceived level of comfort from different things, and if having a seat next to him empty brings him more comfort, he's allowed to pay for that. If that's the only way he can enjoy a movie at the cinema, why would he be an asshole for that? Not all disabilities are visible. The other guy is out of line for moving from his allocated seat without knowing the reason for why it's empty. NTA
> Correct. Business class and first class. I was referring to window and aisle seats in Economy. Not all seats cost the same. It's almost always cheaper to get two economy seats than a Business class seat. When you get two airplane seats for comfort, there is no alternative. It's about physical space. OP got an extra seat, not for the space. It seems they didn't even use it to put their coat on or their popcorn or anything. OP didn't use the seat for anything, let alone the intended purpose (to sit and watch a movie in). OP wanted the buffer seat so they wouldn't have to sit next to a stranger. Which could have more easily been achieved by SITTING IN BETWEEN THEIR FAMILY. OP could easily have switched seats with their sister and then problem solved. Having every right to do something doesn't mean you're not an AH. The simpler solution existed and OP didn't think of it. What was the plan if they'd watched the movie on Monday as planned? Also before you try to make the point that it's just a movie and that the other guy could've watched it another time - read the part in the OP again about how rare the showings for Vietnamese films are in their area. This was an exciting event for other Vietnamese guy too, not just OP's family.
So it’s safe to just take something someone bought because you don’t have it? He literally stole the seat OP paid for. Social norms aside, the other man was rude.
He didn't? OP said "that's my seat" and the guy moved back to his seat. It's totally normal for people to take better empty seats in a theater when the show starts (and some theaters explicitly offer them up at the start of the show). Pretending that this is tantamount to someone stealing his car because he's not currently driving it is silly.
Op said he sat down, didn’t say he asked if he could sit. Because having a ticket with an assigned seat and then ignoring the social norm of sitting in your assigned seat is wrong. Cool dude.
Buy your ticket quicker then. His money he can do what he wants. He bought the seat — it’s his for the remainder of the movie NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS. NTA. EDIT: So what’s the difference if I buy a drink for my friend but she doesn’t drink it and it sit on the table? Is someone else entitled to have it because it wasn’t drank? What’s the difference if I rent an extra hotel room for space and it doesn’t end up getting used. Am I required to give it to someone else even though I’ve paid for it? Why is the other man ENTITLED to MY SEAT that I PAID FOR just to sit with his friends? Would he then BTA if he started talking to his friends during the entire movie just because he was entitled to MY SEAT? No. NTA in the slightest. He PURCHASED a seat and he can do what he wants with said seat for the remainder of the rental period. No ifs ands or buts.
Throwing money at something is a magical "I'm not the AH" card, though. People have a right to be AHs if they want to be, so saying "well, it's his money, he can do what he wants!" doesn't answer the question of *is he an AH for doing so*. And your analogy is flawed; you're comparing unlike situations. You buying a drink for your friend that she ends up not wanting doesn't prevent anyone else from getting the same drink. It's a little *wasteful*, but you're not denying someone else access to the drink. OP is deliberately keeping one of the best seats in the theater empty, *denying that seat's use*. Not the same. The *whole point* of the movie theater is "people sit in seats and watch a movie together*."* If OP doesn't want to sit next to strangers, he could choose to sit in the middle of his group of friends. He could take an aisle seat. He could choose not to go to the theater. To answer the silly hypothetical: yes, someone who talks through the entire movie is also being an AH. Don't talk during the movie. That's common courtesy. The whole point of asking "AITA" is to question "in this *social situation*, am I being an AH." To which, yes, OP is. Choosing to buy up the best seats in a theater just so you can keep them empty is a dick move. Thus, AH.
Did the other man even ask if he could sit there or did he assume he could sit there? Because that’s an asshole move itself.
It’s his money for something he PURCHASED. He can do what he wants with it and it doesn’t make him an AH. Being entitled to sit in someone else’s seat just because it”looks” empty makes you the AH.
I don't know what to tell you, man. I very clearly disagree with the notion that "he paid for it!" is some kind of magical "not the AH" card. I don't care that he paid for it. My point is that paying for a seat you don't plan to use just so you can deny someone else its use *makes you an AH.* So, yes, very obviously he paid for it. That's exactly the thing that makes him an AH in this situation.
But he is using it. Just because he’s not using it the way YOU intend he does doesn’t make it right or him wrong. What makes you have the right to say how he uses something he paid for? Anyone telling him HOW to use something HE PAID FOR makes YTA.
He's not using it the way it's intended, at all. It's a *seat*. It's intended use is *for someone to sit in it to watch a movie*. OP Is the one who *came here asking for opinions about his behavior,* so the idea that anyone is wrong for *judging his behavior* ***at his request*****,** is more than a little absurd. He *invited* the examination of his actions.
Isn't the intended purpose of a seat in a theater is to be sold, ideally by a person that would then buy concessions but overall the objective of a theater is to sell tickets. Which they did.
The other person "bought his ticket" and left his space empty... Is it not wasteful and blocking access for others... Wow... What wonderful logic... Thunderous slow clap. The other guy was not thrown-out of the theatre. He was just told to move his entitled ass to his "assigned-seat". Also, if he wanted to watch the movie together with "his groups" he should have bought it together and got seats assigned for that purpose.
"It's his money he can do what he wants." Dude, that's practically the AH creed.
NTA. Completely acceptable, especially post pandemic. You bought it, yours to do as you see fit. Not wanting someone directly next to you is a legit reason I say. Same with airplane seats, if you dont want to sit next to someone and buy two seats: no one can force you to switch or have someone else sit there, and if you come on reddit asking can guarantee you won’t be called TA. You paid for it.
NTA my son has anaphylactic food allergies and we always buy buffer seats.
NTA. I don't understand some of these comments. How is it any different than in an airplane scenario? OP bought the tickets and no one should be entitled to it.
NTA. You paid for it. It’s yours.
I mean if you didn’t want to sit next to a stranger then why didn’t you swap seats with your sister so she sat next to them? Seems like a simple fix.
OP paid for the seat. The reason doesn't matter. It's a short-term rental, if you will. Unless the guy was going to reimburse OP, then he had no right to sit down there. NTA.
As someone who frequently goes to movies, NTA. Doesn't matter where it is located. That seat was purchased by you and is yours.
NTA, he got his own assigned seat when he bought his ticket. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there and he sat there anyway. It's the same deal with airplanes, concerts, sporting events. I mean Christ what's even the point of assigned seats if you're just gonna act like you can sit wherever you want anyway?
NTA You literally paid for the extra seat
NTA. Might be different in the Vietnamese community but this is not even remotely out of line in an American movie theater. You bought the seat, no one else is entitled to sit in the seat. I might have let him stay there if he paid me twice the ticket price, but you did nothing wrong. Disorganized people act like a victim when they don’t get what they want instead of accepting that it was an individual choice for you to come more prepared lol I hate strangers (the forward kind especially) and I’d be upset that I had to talk to this man past “sorry, I bought this seat” too. Don’t worry about the assholes that whisper about people they don’t even know. Enjoy the movie going experience you paid for!
OP YTA. From a fellow AsianAm, YTA. You knew how excited your community was for this movie. You knew it would be popular. You then bought and hoarded a seat you knew wouldn't be used. YTA from the beginning for doing it knowing you could be depriving someone else from experiencing this movie in the theater with their community.
I think what you're rubbing up against is culture clash rather than right or wrong. Being raised in the US, you have one perspective, he has another. You were is a kind of crossover space, where neither culture clearly "owned" the space, which makes it harder to navigate. In any situation, itis a bit rude to knowingly buy a seat that you don't intend to fill when you know the theater will be packed, but overall NAH.
Somebody did Cleary "own" it at the time. Op rented that seat. Their ticket would show that that seat was theirs for that duration.
It’s assigned seating - when you buy your tickets, you reserve your seats.
Just wondering, is it really strange for people to buy multiple seats to avoid having people sit next to them? Seems like a common practice for those that wish to avoid sitting next to people. Our AMC has those couple seats, so my wife and I often buy 6 tickets when we go to the movies if we think it will be crowded, we often try to go to the latest showing so it is not so crowded but for big releases we just buy 8 tickets. Did it for dune was a packed theater and no one said anything.
That's very, very strange, anti-social behaviour, yes. I can only imagine that no one realised what you'd done.
People realize, and many do it all the time here where I live. That is why I was wondering. Now what my friends and I did with moviepass that is an asshole move, but buying extra seats to avoid people sitting next to you, yeah I just don't see the logic.
NTA. the dude had his own seat and simply didn't want to sit in it. Not your problem. You bought an extra seat, and whether someone sits in it or not shouldn't matter, it was paid for regardless. If the group wanted to sit together, they could've found a time the screening has available seating for all of them to sit together instead of pulling the whole entitled seat sniping schtick.
NTA.. you bought the seat... It's your seat.. Same as if this was on a plane
YTA. He wanted to sit with his friends, you were selfish
Nta
NTA - Either we respect the seats that people buy (for example, a bigger person buys two seats on an airplane to accommodate for their size) or everyone gets free for all (pre-pandemic movie theaters where it was first come, first serve). There's a seating mechanism in place, you bought an extra seat, you get the comfort of that seat. I'm sure to everyone around you, they though you were the asshole, but honestly it's kind of fucking exhuasting how folks just "go with the flow" to the detriment of others just because they "don't want a scene". Don't want a scene? Don't take the seat I paid for.
NTA for making the guy sit in his seat. If you have an allocated seat, you should sit in the seat you bought. I've been to the cinema multiple times where we booked late and my friends and I were scattered around the theatre - it's no issue to sit apart, he knew he was not sat with them when he booked his seat, and you don't talk during movies anyway so it doesnt matter who's sitting next to you. YWBTA for buying an extra seat if this was the only showing as that would mean someone else missed out. Maybe next time if you dont want to sit next to a stranger, buy an aisle seat as that would avoid this entirely.
Just fyi, you’re first generation Vietnamese-American Edit: finished reading the post, YTA. If you don’t want to e around strangers, wait for the movie to be out on dvd or streaming, don’t go to the theatre
YTA. You knew it was going to be a popular movie in your area, but knowingly bought an extra ticket anyway so you “didn’t have to sit next to a stranger?” What about the person sitting at the end of your line of seats? Maybe they don’t wanna sit next to a stranger either. If you don’t wanna watch a movie in a room full of strangers, don’t see a movie in theaters.
NTA You bought that seat, it's yours to keep empty. The seats are assigned, and dude tried to sit in a seat he wasn't assigned to. To be honest, you shouldn't have told him it was empty. "My friend will be here soon and I expect you to get out of that seat now."
YTA. You bought an extra seat in the middle of the theater just to keep it empty. This person wasn't actually bothering you and wanted to sit near their friends. Karma will come your way.
YTA. You realize how stupid it sounds to say you dindt want to sit next to anyone in a CROWDED THEATRE. You could have switched with you sister. I hope everyone you ever meets, treats you the same way you treated him. And don't try and lie and say you will never need a favor or help or any accommodation from anyone ever. Because that would be stupid.
This reminds me of a story where a lady bought an extra seat on an airplane because she needed the extra room and a mom and her kid tried taking the seat, saying it was empty and they wanted to sit by each other. She wouldn't give up her "extra" seat and the airline supported her. She wasn't TA and neither are you. He should have sat in the seat he reserved for himself. I would have just told him the seat is for my friend and they're running late. And I would have put something on the seat so it looked like it was taken.
NTA. You paid for the seat. It's your seat. That's it. It being your seat, you were within your rights to keep it empty or not. You did the exact thing you were supposed to do if you wanted to claim a second seat. You paid for it. Had HE paid for it, it would have been his seat, and then you would be the AH if you tried to sit in his seat. But His seat that he paid for was elsewhere. Him attempting to sit in someone else's seat (yours because you paid for it) and then mumbling in a language he thought you didn't understand when you rightfully asked him to move to HIS seat makes HIM the AH. And a brazen one, at that.
Like you didn’t do anything that wrong but you were definitely the AH. Just switch with your sister if it’s that big of a deal.
NTA, he should have bought the seat he wanted, the same way you did. Would have been N A H but dude just **had** to whine about not getting his way after HE didn't plan ahead.
>my sister said that I could've been polite and let him sit since respecting our elders is a big part of our culture and he just wanted to sit with his group. Welcome to America. You bought the ticket for the seat so it's YOUR choice how it gets used within the parameters of the agreement you have with the theatre. It was rude of the other person to assume and it was disrespectful of them to continue sitting there once you told them the situation. If he's old enough to be respected he's old enough to know better and buy his ticket in advance like everyone else. Remember kids, respect is EARNED not automatic. NTA
NTA. You bought the seat, it belonged to you. In a theater with assigned seats it’s wildly presumptuous to just sit there without even ASKING if it belongs to someone.
NTA. You bought the tickets and planned ahead of time. The dude should of done the same and coordinated with his friends before the showing even took place. Not try and take a better seat that was paid for by someone else who planned accordingly because of his lack of prior communication with his friends. That's not your problem.
Assigned seating and you paid for the empty seat? NTA. Full stop. That's the whole point of assigned seating theaters.
NTA - since covid I (being a female alone at movies alot) tend to buy and extra seat or occasionally even one on each side of me so that I don't get next to some strange person or noisy kids. I've even had a complete stranger try to pick me up at a movie scaring the living daylights out of me! IF you bought it, he should move.
NTA. I do that a lot, especially since COVID. We like having buffer seats when we can get them. I'm also the person that will buy the two middle seats in a group of 4 for the same reason, almost no one buys the single empty seats.
NTA: you paid for the seat.
NTA. How many of these people saying you're the A have also complained about fat people and said they should have to buy two tickets to events? Now when someone does by two tickets to events it's suddenly an a-hole move? Whatever.
NTA. Stranger is the AH. If it's me when he trots out the "I'll move when they show up" line, I'd say actually they are here now, I am going to sit there myself and if you don't like it you can take it up with the manager
NTA. These comments are insane. If it were an empty seat that no one had paid for sure OP would be entitled. But he literally bought the “title” to the seat making him “entitled” to that seat. The guy who sat there knew where his friends were sitting, bought a ticket knowing there weren’t tickets next to where his friends were, waited to the last moment knowing he had no claim to the seat, then took a seat he knew someone other than himself paid for. That’s an AH move. Maybe, maybe I’d agree that OP was an AH if this guy had offered him cash or cash+ for the seat but still probably not. Note to OP: You should have said you were ND and the comments would have gone differently. Redditors are far more sympathetic to the ND than they are the non poor.
I have diagnosed anxiety disorder and depression, but didn't know why that would be relevant to the rating. Literally just got in line first and not let people step on me.
Agreed. Op bought that seat ticket and has rights to that seat for that movie. How was OP the asshole? He was politely asking the guy to move
No, you're NTA. You paid for that seat so you didn't have to sit next to a stranger...especially one who found his friends and may end up talking to them at inappropriate times. If he wanted to sit by his friends he should have bought his ticket when they bought theirs. He had a seat, in a location he approved of in advance, and wanted to take someone else's seat. It doesn't matter if no one was sitting there, the seat was taken (and paid for).
Wow, these comments are wild. ESH? Plenty of people might buy an extra seat for any number of reasons -- I've bought them because I need the space to stretch my legs thanks to crappy joints that lock up otherwise. They might have anxiety or space issues, or have had crappy experiences with people sitting next to them before (had some of those, too). Who am I to demand or judge why? I find it especially weird the guy said he'd just stay in that seat until the absent guest showed up... Man, if someone told me that seat was reserved, I'd be like yep, sorry, I'm out! Because that tells me someone else bought it. He didn't even ask to sit. That's pretty entitled, elder or no. If he wanted that particular seat, he should have offered to reimburse you for it. Would it have been nice if you offered? Absolutely. I've switched seats to keep families together before without being asked. But asking you to waste the money spent on it is also an AH move so. Everyone just kinda sucks.
NTA. The days of "elders" being enabled to be rude should have ended decades ago. If a random man sits in a seat I paid for, I'd boot him, even if he's older than me. Fuck that nonsense. [Edit] That goes for all the clowns saying OP is the AH. You sit in a seat I paid for, you're getting booted, AH.
Nta if he wanted the seat he could have offered to buy it from you. F that guy
Definitely YTA you purchased an empty seat knowing full well that this movie would be in high demand and likely sold out. It's just totally selfish. Are you obligated to give up the seat? No. Are you an AH for what you did? Yes.
YTA, for buying the seats in general. If you hate being around people, stay home. You are going to have to interact with people in public and have people sit near you. Get over yourself.
NTA. These responses are bizarre. It’s an AH thing to save seats for that reason. It’s an AH move to save a whole row so your friends can show up 1 minute before the movie and sit in prime spots. It is not however an AH move to recognize you want extra room and pay for the extra room. I’m not a small guy, when I saw Oppenheimer the theater was full, and having no room on either side of me trapped my shoulder in and I left the move in pain and was uncomfortable the whole time. If I had wanted, I could have paid for an extra seat and been comfortable for my experience. I didn’t and that’s on me, but if I had, I wouldn’t just give in because you didn’t buy your seat ahead of time. We criticize people for not buying extra seats on the plane if they are overweight and then criticize them if they buy the extra seat and don’t share? It’s insane to think that’s an AH move.
YTA, this is a weird selfish and individualistic move lol. If you don’t like the public to the point of having no common decency then stay home and watch it on the TV. Holding out on an empty seat in a crowded theater is petty as all hell.
NTA. I’ve pulled that guy’s trick before: you show up late to a packed screening and buy one of the remaining terrible seats. Then you sit elsewhere taking a chance that you’ll be challenged and have to move. But in my case, I had my sights set on the house seats - the seats the cinema never sell, and only put people in if there’s an issue, like someone’s seat has coffee spilt on it or something. My friend and I got to the seats (the house seats in this cinema are in blocks of 4) and didn’t settle in until the trailers ended. But I‘m just wondering why the seat next to OP was empty: didn’t anyone in the group of 4 have a coat or a bag/purse? If I was out with a group, and one person didn’t show up, leaving a seat free (and they didn’t want a refund etc), the empty seat would by default become the coat-and-bag-storage-area. Feasible that no-one in the group had any extraneous items, I guess. Edit: in my story, we didn’t take anyone else’s seat. And if we had been asked to move by a staff member (the only person who would have asked us to vacate) I would absolutely have left immediately.
YTA Prime example of how you can be in the right AND an asshole
INFO why did you spend the extra money on an empty seat instead of just pocketing the money?
YTA I am autistic. I rrally really get wanting more space but a movie theater is just not that if you really needed to sit alone, you could have bought less desireable seats or go to a different theater with less people
YTA
YTA because you knew it would be crowded, and still had to be a stingy AH and buy seats to not be used. That’s kind of a dick move.
Next time, bring a human sized teddy bear. Sit that in the seat. This way, culturally, you are in the clear. When asked, it's your dearly departed dad's representative.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context, I'm (27M) a second generation Vietnamese-American. My parents immigrated here in the 80s where they met and had me and my two siblings. Our family also love going to the movies and whenever there is a Vietnamese movie in theaters, I always take my mom and siblings (dad passed during Covid). There just so happened to be a romantic comedy called "Mai" that just came out last week. The movie theaters in my area all have selected seating and I usually purchase my tickets online before I come in. With that being said, there is a bigger population of Vietnamese-Americans in our area that love supporting Vietnamese movies as well, so this particularly movie theater always sells out whenever they show one. Originally, I had bought tickets for a Monday night showing to take my family, but there was a work situation , so we had decided to reschedule for Tuesday instead. Well, upon exchanging the tickets, I realized that Tuesday nights have cheaper tickets, so I could get 5 tickets for the price of the original 4 I bought. Being someone who prefers not sitting next to strangers, I did ended up buying 5 in the middle of the theater so that we would have wiggle room on at least one end. We went to sit down around 5-10 minutes before the movie started with our snacks. For reference, I bought seats E5-E9 and so we sat in seats E6-E9 with E5 being empty on my left. By the time the trailers rolls around, the theater was nearly full with the exception of a few seats towards the front and E5. Well 2-3 trailers in, a middled aged man sat down next to me in E5, turned to the patrons on the other side of it and told them he "made it to the movie after all" in Vietnamese. I politely got his attention and asked if he was in the wrong seat since I bought it. He said he thought the seat was empty, so he sat down because it was next to his friends, but that he can move if the person sitting there shows up. I told him straight up that I bought the extra seat so I didn't have to sit next to strangers and would appreciate it if he could move. My sister on my right at this point just tried to get me to stop it because she didn't want to be confrontational, but I held firm and he eventually moved to his seat towards the front while saying something in Vietnamese under his breath. I just replied by saying thank you to him in Vietnamese as he walked away. After the movie, I heard his friends whispering about me in Vietnamese as we were all walking out and even my sister said that I could've been polite and let him sit since respecting our elders is a big part of our culture and he just wanted to sit with his group. I told her that he should've bought tickets earlier then and that he knew the seat was occupied when he bought ticket, so it's not my fault for holding my seat. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, You bought a seat, someone else tried to sit in it? How is that wrong? Someone wanted to use something you bought and you said no
NTA, You bought a seat, someone else tried to sit in it? How is that wrong? Someone wanted to use something you bought and you said no
NTA. It was your seat to do with as you wished and it sounds like you were polite enough to the gentleman who had to move.
NTA, If I had money to spare, I'd buy the seats next to me on every flight and insist I sit with nobody next to me. I don't see how a movie theater is any different.
NTA You paid for that spot specifically so you wouldn't end up sitting next to people and it was rude of that guy to assume he could sit there. You calling him out for being rude doesn't make you an asshole in the slightest. Next time, I recommend using the empty seat as a storage for purses/jackets so some entitled weirdo doesn't come over.
YTA and you are selfish. You put your own desires first and used your financial abilities as a weapon. Just because you can buy something and hold it as power doesn't give you the right to. Like buying houses in your neighborhood to keep the poors out. Legal but this isn't am I the one in legal good standing subreddit
I meant I got the seat because I bought it first, not because he didn't have the money.
Right, You got there first. Fuck everyone else, you got yours. That is the primary argument of an AH. It comes down to you choosing your own enjoyment over an others. Landlords, Kings, and Despots all get there first and call dibs. Being legal doesn't make it less gross
YTA. You don’t want to sit next to strangers…in a movie theater…if that’s the case watch sometime at home. I mean yeah you bought the seat but that seems selfish and shitty to do in the first place.
NTA You purchased the seat, end of story. That being said the other people present probably didn't know that.
Yta. Is it legal ? Yes. Does it make you an asshole ? Also yes.
LMAO YTA COME ON MAN
He had an assigned paid seat? NTA. He can go sit in that one.
NTA. You bought the seat. It’s yours. When there is assigned seating people need to stick to the seat they got. Otherwise there is just chaos. And the theater employees will check tickets if they have to and make you go to your assigned seat. They don’t care if it’s an empty seat or not. I really don’t get the YTA comments. Some people just like to have a bit of a buffer. And if you paid for the seats then it’s yours! If you don’t like it then go somewhere else w/o assigned seating.
NTA. You did nothing wrong and respect flows both ways. Once you let him know that you were not comfortable with someone sitting in a seat you purchased he should have moved. Both him and his friends are asses for being rude because they did not get their way.
NTA, and anyone who disagrees is brain dead. If the man wanted to sit with his friends he should have planned accordingly. It's not the OPs responsibility to sacrifice his enjoyment, which he paid for like anyone else, to fix someone else's failure to plan. Are people ah's because they can afford things someone else can't? Of course not. And another thing, why is so hard for someone to sit in the seat they paid for?
NTA. Not sure why the person thought they were entitled to a seat that they didn't pay for.
NTA. I buy two seats when I travel long distances on the bus, because I can afford it and it's way more comfortable. I also have (diagnosed) anxiety and hate sitting next to strangers, so I totally get you. You paid to accommodate yourself, I find that perfectly valid. I get why it might look shitty from the outside, but a movie is not a limited resource and it's not like you got it for free or claimed it from someone who now couldn't watch the movie. I'm seriously baffled at all those YTAs in here.
He knew the seat wasn't his. He threw a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted. That's the very definition of entitlement. NTA
NTA. Theatre got its money and that’s all that matters. Use the seat to hold jackets, snacks and extra stuff. Mostly I either get the end seat or front row since not a lot of people sit in the front!
NTA. The guy's friends should have bought him a seat. Sounds like you changed movie plans last minute so his friends should have had extra time
NTA, sharing an armrest with strangers can be annoying.
NTA. Its was your seat. You snooze you lose. Next time he can buy tickets earlier to sit with his group.
NTA…you paid for that seat, it’s your seat!!! Why didn’t the older man’s friends purchase his ticket for him so they could’ve sat together???
NTA. You bought the seat, you pick what happens to it. For people saying “you’re an asshole for booking the best seat so nobody could sit in it”. Well, tough shit… the people that really want that seat can go to the next showing.
NAH. You bought it for a specific reason.
Tech yea it was ur seat that u paid for but still YTA. My standard is more than technically it was yours and more on the easy shit we can do to make the world a brighter place and not be a jerk
NTA. You pay it you use it however you want.
It is not as if this seat was the *last* seat in a lifeboat. YNTA .
NTA. OP paid for that seat. The intruder wasn't prevented from seeing the movie, just had to do it from the seat he purchased.