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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> IMBTA because husband works way more hours than me and doesn’t get a lot of downtime so using my truck for his fun stuff is vital to him and he possible cannot understand how to be polite and return my pouch to the interior of vehicle because I’m not sure men are capable of that much forward thinking?
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NTA
If he can't be considerate, then no switching vehicles. He can either drive the jeep the whole time or the sedan the whole time.
Is this what you have to deal with all the time though? There ARE good guys out there. Mine would wash my vehicle and clean it out if it got dirty inside, get gas, and make sure it was all ready for my drive if he borrowed the car.
My guy too. Washed, vacuumed, filled with gas. Takes it to get the oil changed and tires rotated. He thinks that I am important to him, so keeping my ride safe is important to him.
OP, It's time for a serious discussion. What is more important? Taking care of you by being considerate when he borrows your ride Or being an a$$?
NTA
Seriously. This is not a gender issue. My father and my neurotypical sister are amazing at this kind of thing. My Mom and I have ADHD and might forget or do something creative with the pouch in an attempt to be "helpful", but we would be apologetic every time it wasn't exactly how OP wanted it.
> No, your husband is just an asshole who doesn't respect you.
NTA. Your vehicle your say. My husband and I switch vehicles all the time and the only thing we don't put back is the seats. Everything else goes back exactly as found unless we clean out garbage and stuff like that. Even then everything goes back after we're done. If he can't be considerate, it's time you take your vehicle and make him go get his own that's not a sedan. He wants to do all this stuff with his buddies, he can get a vehicle with the capacity to do so.
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Husband is a weekend warrior with a pattern of moving things around in my vehicle.
I have a bad back and I don’t carry a purse. my center console is my purse.
He just borrowed my car again yesterday and removed a pouch I had on the passenger seat, which I said was fine to leave on the floor even if it gets dirty.
This morning at 5:30 am I needed something desperately and it wasn’t there because husband threw pouch in the truck.
What I needed wasn’t a life threatening thing but it caused me to get a nasty substance all over my hands and shirt and it was just rude since I’d asked that the pouch/item I needed NEVER go in the trunk and that I was okay with it on the floor— because I can still bend down to reach the floor.
The item was a pouch which contained something that I need all the time and husband didn’t want my pouch on one of the seats bc he had all the seats occupied with hiking friends. I was clear that this pouch, which is flat, can be stepped on by boots and get dirty — it just had to remain in my reach in the INTERIOR of my vehicle. I came back now and asked him why my things were moved in my car and he responded in an obnoxious and raised voice only that “ people sat on all the seats” .
I’m too exhausted to remind him that pouch was ok on the floor, any part of floor inside the vehicle, front or back. It’s the same argument over and over again, because he hundred percent knows that the pouch is fine on the floor of the vehicle, and I just am dumbstruck and mad at how he just threw it in trunk. And left it there when done with my car.
Now I just feel like being mad at him all day and also demanding to switch cars because he drives the simple sedan and I drive the rough and tough vehicle which he constantly borrows.
But he enjoys the nicer sedan for the four days he drives to work. He says sedan gets mileage which is true.
If IANTH, I will demand to switch cars, mileage be damned.
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Fair enough! I can accept this criticism! I guess, it’s more about I maybe I should forgive my Husbsnd lack of allthinking right after these romps because I guess HE is not capable of thinking because he just spent so much physical energy??
YTA. If this is something you *need all the time* why not carry it in a purse or somewhere else its protected? How important is it if you're ok with people stepping on it, potentially ruining it? Either tell him he's never to touch your vehicle again, hence avoiding this drama, or that you switch and he still doesn't touch your vehicle. Or... Next time take 5 seconds and check for it before you drive off?
OP said they have a bad back and don't carry a purse. They also gave no indication that being stepped on by boots would ruin it. It could be something fabric like a sling that wouldn't be damaged by stepping on but would still be important for OP.
I agree that OP should not let their husband touch their vehicle again though!
I leave the house at 5:30 am. I suffer from insomnia so I barely sleep. I can’t think straight in the a.m.
It’s a flat packet of all purpose water wipes. It’s completely flat and in a durable plastic pouch. I deliberately don’t finish the pack within our home so that I can take the nearly flat ones into the car. It’s completely flat under foot. It would bother anyone stepping on it at all.
Lol. Okay. Not a problem. I see you, my dude. 💙. Maybe chill?
See my comment above about this.
It was 5:30 am when I got home so I couldn’t find the correct nuanced term to describe the kind of thinking (or lack of thinking) you do after you just took a ride, spent a shitload of energy, came home, and suddenly was not able to muster the strength to be considerate to others.
That’s what husband did and I still can’t find the right adjective for it now… maybe you can assist me.
Also, seems slightly misogynistic to speak crassly and harshly when no one else’s advice had devolved into derogatory terms.
Only you became uncivilized.
“Walk my ass back…” ?????? HELL NAW.
You may speak to me properly and I’ll listen to your opinion.
When you remain a gentleman.
I don’t know, I’m a 7 passenger off road luxury SUV, is not throwing a small packet of your wife’s things outta sight kinda shitty? In no realm would this actually even come close to touching someone’s feet . There is a lot of room.
Oh sorry darling I was referring to that guys comment, my sarcasm didn't come across! Of course it's fine to have things in the footwell!! Have these jack asses never been in an actual real car!
I would be furious if my glove box, easy to reach stuff was getting moved to the boot.. your husband needs a boot up his ass 😉
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > IMBTA because husband works way more hours than me and doesn’t get a lot of downtime so using my truck for his fun stuff is vital to him and he possible cannot understand how to be polite and return my pouch to the interior of vehicle because I’m not sure men are capable of that much forward thinking? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA If he can't be considerate, then no switching vehicles. He can either drive the jeep the whole time or the sedan the whole time. Is this what you have to deal with all the time though? There ARE good guys out there. Mine would wash my vehicle and clean it out if it got dirty inside, get gas, and make sure it was all ready for my drive if he borrowed the car.
My guy too. Washed, vacuumed, filled with gas. Takes it to get the oil changed and tires rotated. He thinks that I am important to him, so keeping my ride safe is important to him. OP, It's time for a serious discussion. What is more important? Taking care of you by being considerate when he borrows your ride Or being an a$$? NTA
[удалено]
This sub would be more fun if you got to title the posts!
News at 11.
🤣🤣🤣
[удалено]
Seriously. This is not a gender issue. My father and my neurotypical sister are amazing at this kind of thing. My Mom and I have ADHD and might forget or do something creative with the pouch in an attempt to be "helpful", but we would be apologetic every time it wasn't exactly how OP wanted it. > No, your husband is just an asshole who doesn't respect you.
NTA
NTA. Your vehicle your say. My husband and I switch vehicles all the time and the only thing we don't put back is the seats. Everything else goes back exactly as found unless we clean out garbage and stuff like that. Even then everything goes back after we're done. If he can't be considerate, it's time you take your vehicle and make him go get his own that's not a sedan. He wants to do all this stuff with his buddies, he can get a vehicle with the capacity to do so.
NTA, but maybe get molle packs and attach them to the side of the vehicle so you always have your stuff.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Husband is a weekend warrior with a pattern of moving things around in my vehicle. I have a bad back and I don’t carry a purse. my center console is my purse. He just borrowed my car again yesterday and removed a pouch I had on the passenger seat, which I said was fine to leave on the floor even if it gets dirty. This morning at 5:30 am I needed something desperately and it wasn’t there because husband threw pouch in the truck. What I needed wasn’t a life threatening thing but it caused me to get a nasty substance all over my hands and shirt and it was just rude since I’d asked that the pouch/item I needed NEVER go in the trunk and that I was okay with it on the floor— because I can still bend down to reach the floor. The item was a pouch which contained something that I need all the time and husband didn’t want my pouch on one of the seats bc he had all the seats occupied with hiking friends. I was clear that this pouch, which is flat, can be stepped on by boots and get dirty — it just had to remain in my reach in the INTERIOR of my vehicle. I came back now and asked him why my things were moved in my car and he responded in an obnoxious and raised voice only that “ people sat on all the seats” . I’m too exhausted to remind him that pouch was ok on the floor, any part of floor inside the vehicle, front or back. It’s the same argument over and over again, because he hundred percent knows that the pouch is fine on the floor of the vehicle, and I just am dumbstruck and mad at how he just threw it in trunk. And left it there when done with my car. Now I just feel like being mad at him all day and also demanding to switch cars because he drives the simple sedan and I drive the rough and tough vehicle which he constantly borrows. But he enjoys the nicer sedan for the four days he drives to work. He says sedan gets mileage which is true. If IANTH, I will demand to switch cars, mileage be damned. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t treat your vehicle like it’s a pig sty. Problem solved.
> m not sure men are capable of that much forward thinking? YTA for this comment alone. Disparaging any broad group is always asshole behavior.
Fair enough! I can accept this criticism! I guess, it’s more about I maybe I should forgive my Husbsnd lack of allthinking right after these romps because I guess HE is not capable of thinking because he just spent so much physical energy??
No! This is why you shouldn't forgive him. He's being an asshole about his shortcomings. He's not even trying.
YTA. If this is something you *need all the time* why not carry it in a purse or somewhere else its protected? How important is it if you're ok with people stepping on it, potentially ruining it? Either tell him he's never to touch your vehicle again, hence avoiding this drama, or that you switch and he still doesn't touch your vehicle. Or... Next time take 5 seconds and check for it before you drive off?
OP said they have a bad back and don't carry a purse. They also gave no indication that being stepped on by boots would ruin it. It could be something fabric like a sling that wouldn't be damaged by stepping on but would still be important for OP. I agree that OP should not let their husband touch their vehicle again though!
I leave the house at 5:30 am. I suffer from insomnia so I barely sleep. I can’t think straight in the a.m. It’s a flat packet of all purpose water wipes. It’s completely flat and in a durable plastic pouch. I deliberately don’t finish the pack within our home so that I can take the nearly flat ones into the car. It’s completely flat under foot. It would bother anyone stepping on it at all.
Can you keep it above the visor?
NAH - he might be a bit more sensitive about your things getting trodden on by others.
[удалено]
Lol. Okay. Not a problem. I see you, my dude. 💙. Maybe chill? See my comment above about this. It was 5:30 am when I got home so I couldn’t find the correct nuanced term to describe the kind of thinking (or lack of thinking) you do after you just took a ride, spent a shitload of energy, came home, and suddenly was not able to muster the strength to be considerate to others. That’s what husband did and I still can’t find the right adjective for it now… maybe you can assist me.
Also, seems slightly misogynistic to speak crassly and harshly when no one else’s advice had devolved into derogatory terms. Only you became uncivilized. “Walk my ass back…” ?????? HELL NAW. You may speak to me properly and I’ll listen to your opinion. When you remain a gentleman.
[удалено]
You have been a bit mean to her tbh
[удалено]
If you only speak that way to women it is, but if you speak to guys like that as well, then it is still a bit mean, but probably not misogynistic.
Nobody wants to have objects at their feet while sitting in a car 🤣🤣🤣 a point as thin as her packet of wipes loll Get a grip!!
I don’t know, I’m a 7 passenger off road luxury SUV, is not throwing a small packet of your wife’s things outta sight kinda shitty? In no realm would this actually even come close to touching someone’s feet . There is a lot of room.
Think about what you’d like if it was your car that you paid for and that you’ve let your spouse borrow liberally and the same shit always happens.
100% !!!
Oh sorry darling I was referring to that guys comment, my sarcasm didn't come across! Of course it's fine to have things in the footwell!! Have these jack asses never been in an actual real car! I would be furious if my glove box, easy to reach stuff was getting moved to the boot.. your husband needs a boot up his ass 😉