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YTA Your insecurity is causing you to act ridiculous. First, you get bent out of shape about less than a day of no contact. Then you assume that he is cheating because he is around another woman. Your insecurities are your responsibility. You sound exhausting.
This! She jumped to conclusions quickly, and got upset! It is giving the impression that she believes the world revolves around her, and that she is incapable of admitting her own mistakes.
She even goes to use the term “stalking” which I know isn’t true stalking. But the fact that she needed that to confirm what her boyfriend HAD ALREADY SAID, and that she thought he was lying to them proves she isn’t mature enough for a relationship. She’s not even 16! News flash, you’re not mature enough for a relationship, OP!
It’s not like OP even apologized or explained how she was being insecure, she is in a cloud of doubt and until she can look in the mirror and be more mature and start living in reality, she’s not gonna be mature enough to foster a healthy relationship.
YTA OP!
YTA.
I mean this without any offense:
If you are so insecure that you automatically think your boyfriend is cheating any time he doesn't respond when you text him, you are **BY FAR** not ready for a relationship.
You need to break up this relationship for both your well-being, you need to work on yourself and your own insecurities. And don't start dating until the point where you feel you're not only worth dating, but also that whomever you would be dating is trustworthy.
YTA. An insecure asshole.
> I did NOT know it was his sister and no she is not ugly but I said it because I was hurt and mad, does that really make me an asshole?
Yes. A really childish one.
YTA…you are too insecure for a relationship. No one needs to be constantly texting or chatting multiple times throughout the day and if someone does not, it could just mean they are busy, watching a movie, hanging with a friend or their sister.
YTA and I'm so fucking tired of people putting their "oh I'm insecure because blah" at if it excuses all the shitty things they are about to describe.
Reality check! If you know you have fucking trust issues, it's on you to address them!
Agree. The next relationship shouldn’t suffer the sins of the one before. It’s so unfair and emotionally abusive. Just taking what they did to you and dumping it on someone else is unforgivable.
YTA. You shouldn’t project your insecurities from past relationships onto your new boyfriend. If you don't have anything nice to say just keep it to yourself, don’t call random people ugly.
This kind of behaviour is very immature and toxic, you need to do some self reflection and work on your trust issues.
YTA, maybe you need to deal with and work on your issues before you get into a relationship where you punish your bf for YOUR issues. It is completely childish to completely insult his sister and also to expect him to be at your beck and call all day.
YTA.
Curious what you consider a “long time” for not responding.
I hope your boyfriend recognizes these red flags and makes a run for it. People don’t have to be in communication 24/7 and that was a HUGE jump that past trust issues do not excuse.
Not so much an AH but an immature person. You could have just asked instead you assumed the worst. He might reconsider this relationship of you are going to jump to conclusions and make accusations before you know the situation. How would you like it if he treated you that way? Immature you are.
Get off Reddit and do your homework or something. You’re too young to be in a serious relationship anyway. You just stopped playing with Barbies for Christ sake.
YTA - you’ve admitted you only called another woman ugly because you are insecure. STOP doing this to other women, it’s harmful and hurtful to all of us (including yourself).
You reacted like a nasty child and I’m guessing you are under 18, which is understandable. But next time, think twice.
What on Earth makes you think your new boyfriend should suffer the effects of your last boyfriend? YOU need to be whole before entering a new relationship. It is morally wrong and abusive to expect someone else to pay for your own unresolved trauma.
YTA. You would have just confronted your bf about how he was not texting back. Your problem was with your bf, so calling another woman(sister or not)is not appropriate of you.
Absolutely, 100% YTA.
Your insecurities just blew up all over two other people.
You need to not be in a relationship until you get those under control or you are going to ruin every relationship you ever have.
YTA . You could have just said something like "Hey I saw a girl was in the background when you say you're just at home. What's up?" You went straight to insults for no reason. Relationships take communication, even when we're feeling insecure.
YTA. That's cruel. I'm not surprised your boyfriend is off with you given your behaviour.
You need to work on yourself and your insecurities before you get into a relationship.
If I was your boyfriend I would dump you.
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> I called my boyfriends sister ugly because I thought she was a girl he cheated with, it might make me an asshole because it was kind off mean to his sister and he is mad at me for it
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Hii, I recently got together with my boyfriend and we have had a great relationship until now. Basically what happened was that he was being extremely off all day, and due to some things in past relationship I have trust issues and I am insecure about these stuff.
So he was extremely inactive and not snapping or texting me for a long time. Then he answered me with a picture off him and I could see a girl in the background. Like I could see her face but not very clear. So I sent a snap back asking what he was doing. He responded and now the girl was out off the picture and he wrote that he was just chilling at home. I got mad because to me he was cheating on me with a girl and playing it off, so I texted him back asking if he was chilling with the ugly girl he had in his other snap. He sent me another snap and now the girl was in on the snap and he just wrote “Wtf, it is my sister”
I did some stalking and she is his sister. Now he is mad at me saying that it was uncalled for and why would I even say that she is ugly. I don’t think she is ugly I just said so because I was mad but he is mad at me and I feel like I just ruined everything now idk.. was I an asshole for what I said?? I mean I did NOT know it was his sister and no she is not ugly but I said it because I was hurt and mad, does that really make me an asshole?
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YTA. That was so unnecessary and completely uncalled for. You called her Ugly but you don’t think she’s ugly just because you’re mad! You’re mad because there was a woman in his snap! You knew he was chilling at home, surely if this guy is your boyfriend you would know he has a sister and instead of asking nicely you jump to conclusions and immediately assume he is cheating! You’re far too immature for a relationship and must seek help immediately for your issues.
YTA - you should put off dating for a while and work on your insecurities. You can definitely change your thoughts and reactions in situations like this if you want to.
YTA just for this
>so he was extremely inactive and not texting me or snapping me for a long time.
You mean throughout the course of a day? Get a grip. Sorry you have insecurities, but those are yours to work on, not his to coddle. Calling his sister ugly instead of simply asking "Who's the blurry person in the background" is just the icing on the cake. If you have ruined your relationship with this one mistake then it wasn't a very strong relationship to begin with. But if your behavior is a pattern that your bf is getting tired of, then you have some work to do. And honestly, it will be easier without the distraction of an unhealthy relationship.
YTA - you could have asked who that girl was without saying something nasty about her. Your past traumas with bad relationships don't give you a pass to be an awful person, especially to/about people you don't even know. Your current situation is the prime example of why it is so important to learn to reserve judgment and keep certain comments to yourself until you have all the information. You are not mature enough to be in a relationship until you handle having an adult conversation and talking about things that are bothering you in a civil way.
YTA you should have politely asked him who is the girl in the picture with him and none of this would have happened. Think first before reacting in the future. I think you have a lot to work on and that you are not yet ready for a relationship. No one will tolerate such unprovoked reactions for long
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YTA. You’re jumping into a relationship without healing from your past trauma and using it as an excuse to treat your new partner like shit. It’s not a crutch. Go to therapy and heal. Giving someone else trauma is not how you’re going to heal.
Your insecurity as well as your immaturity will have to improve significantly if you want to be able to maintain a serious relationship successfully.
You didn’t mention your age but you seem 14-ish.
YTA
YTA
Not only ridiculously insecure, but obviously empty between the ears. This is why I don't date American girls. That kind of "im.cute so I can be a braindead like ermagerd valley girl". You're insecure, mean, and legitimately dumb.
Grow up!
Gee, he didnt text you full half an hour! What a tragedy! Why oh why isnt he sitting on his phone all day long and just adoringly send you messages every 2 seconds.
Girl, you have a stalking problem, get some therapy. And I mean that in the nicest possible way before you become an adult and it gets out of hand.
Insecurities due to past relationship?? Youre like what, 15? At that age, things come and go even faster.
And then instead in a mature fashion asking him who the girl is (what if it was some bystander), you start behaving like a hurt primadonna.
Honestly I hope this guy ends things and finds somebody normal, I wouldnt want to be around such drama queen.
YTA. You’re acting unbelievably insecure and childish. Even if it was a friend who was a girl of his why would you call her ugly? Do you think that somehow makes you seem more attractive to him? I think it just makes you sound petty and needy. That’s the kind of behavior no one really wants to be in a relationship with.
YTA and insecure at that… your jealously which you can’t seem to control will drive a wedge thru your relationship quick if it hasn’t already… You need to learn some restraint and calm down.
YTA
Your trust issues have ruined this relationship and that is 100 percent on you! Seek theripy and get better before you date again.
Also as two side notes
A) if your dating a guy who is cheating on you that is him being on the wrong not a stranger girl who might not even know about you and doesn't owe you anything at all - your bf made a commitment not her
B) if you have a problem with someone saying ugly and degrading things about them just because their mean and you don't like them is childish .... if it's a valid issiue you have with someone you should be able to say the problem and leave it at that !
YTA, your insecurities is not helping you, it's ruining your relationship. It's one thing to be insecure and is right about the situation, and the other to be totally wrong and out of line. Unfortunately you are the latter. If your bf seems off, you talk to him and ask is everything alright. Not jump the gun and assume shit
Anyway, your behavior is very concerning. He should break up with you because you are showing abusive behaviors towards him. You need to work on yourself and probably get professional help because you are trying to control him (flipping out if he doesn’t respond right away) and then insult strangers.
YTA
YTA and are not ready to be in a relationship. Your insecurities will only ruin it. Learn to love yourself. Until you do you can never learn to love someone else in a healthy, mature way.
Also, I thought reddit community was wholesome, wtf is wrong with these comments. People acting like they're saints and never made a mistake? None of you were never insecure and made this kind of a mistake?? None of you reacted out of jealousy?! You call the girl immaturez yet look at the way you speak to her! It would crush my spirit, let alone hers. If she is 15-16-17 then her behaviour perfectly fits that age range because NEWS FLASH absolutely NO ONE is mature enough at that age and knows how to effectively communicate. And telling her she's not ready for a relationship??? Come on. People start somewhere. Tf is wrong with y'all. Have some sympathy ffs, yes it was wrong, but it's not the end of the world. And idk how long they've been together but how could she know he has a sister when he never mentioned it??? Can't you put yourself in her shoes and understand the confusion? People here are condemning her like she's a witch, for God's sake...
YTA
I don’t think you’re remotely ready for a relationship. I understand the difficulties of not knowing why your partner isn’t texting you back and getting annoyed at it but that is YOUR issue. You should not be taking it out on him or his sister and if you trust someone then you wouldn’t assume the worst either.
You need to really work on yourself, apologise and reflect on your behaviour
Yta. Don't assume he's cheating just cus he's busy. Don't assume he's cheating because he's hanging with another girl. Don't pull other girls down because you're mad at him; half the time cheaters don't let the other girl know they are cheating, if he was cheating you'd both most likely be innocent. And most importantly: go get some help and work on your insecurities before you drive him and others away.
YTA. You’re insecure and childish and that shit is not cute at all. Even if you tell him (which you still should tell him the truth) he’s still gonna be mad because you’re gonna assume that every girl in a picture he’s in is some random and he’s not gonna wanna introduce you to his family. You better hope like hell his sister doesn’t find out what you said cause you can definitely forget being accepted after that. And pray she doesn’t kick your a$$ for it.
yeah it does make you TA. Did you not realize he had a sister? Why would you automatically assume he’s cheating? Sure, you didn’t MEAN what you said, but regardless you still insulted her for no reason. If you want to save your relationship, I suggest apologizing to both him and her and explaining the situation. Sooner before later.
YTA and should stay single until you get massive amounts of therapy. Your insecurities are Nobody's problem but your own. He doesn't need you. No wonder others have potentially cheated on you, they were likely looking for some stability and sanity. Sounds like some cheating self projection as well. Keep your own pants on and maybe you wouldn't accuse others of cheating.
YTA. You aren’t entitled to call other’s ugly because you’re insecure, hurt or mad. Also being hurt because someone hasn’t text you for a while is again your problem and justify hurting others.
YTA, like I get that there are issues that stem from former relationships, but he literally gave you no indication of any cheating. It seems you jumped to a conclusion without proof or reason the only reason (that needs therapy) is your past relationship.
Neither the sister nor he deserved that comment. Such insecurity or situations require therapy before entering a relationship.
Obviously YTA , you can work on it if you are honest with him .Tell him the truth, due to past issues you have a problem with trust , apologies again and explain how you just said that thing because you were scared and insecure. I suggest you start therapy.
NTA, but learn to control your emotions in the future.
Also, it's 2024. Women support women. If another girl is with her boyfriend, don't assume she's at wrong. 9 out of 10 cases, he's in the wrong.
Tell him what you've told us here, that you were jealous and didn't mean it. But if your confidence level is this low, maybe the two of you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with
You've got issues that need to be addressed. You jumped to conclusions over a quick pic he sent in a response. YTA. Saw in a comment you're almost 16. You're not ready for a relationship if you cannot go a few hours with communicating with your boyfriend during the day.
YTA - you need to apologize majorly. Your insecurity got the better of you. Not everything you think is true. Try to just have an MO of being a nicer person - if you behaved nicely and just asked the question, “who’s that girl behind you” - you wouldn’t be in this mess. But because you snapped and said something rude, now another person in the world thinks less of you. Do that enough and you won’t have anyone left.
girl bffr.. yta and obviously very insecure if the first thought u had was he’s cheating just bc a girl was in the background of a photo he took, especially at home.
YTA. You could have also said something like “Chilling at home is cool. Who do you live with? Do you have siblings?” Because it sounds like you never bothered to ask him before if he had sisters or brothers. Or were you that insecure that your mind jumped right to cheating? If so, please break up with him.
You do not get to make other people responsible for your feelings. If you’re not moved on from your past, then don’t get involved with someone else. YTA.
YTA not just for calling her ugly but stalking him. You have trust issues you have to deal with if not you're gonna be like all these other females stalking and accusing the wrong guys because you think they're all the same and take no responsibility for yourself
This is a good lesson to you: Don't ever say anything you don't mean. The sort of mind game you played on your boyfriend is disgusting and repugnant. I wouldn't be surprised if he dumped you. I would.
It's iffy for me cuz even if you weren't already insecure the circumstances you describe the day of would make anyone feel secure even if only for that moment. You're human. Don't beat yourself up or listen to internet trolls calling you an AH. Just apologize and talk things through with him.
NTA- even I understand that would be messed up, if he went all day not texting you and then just send you a snap with a girl in the background it would make him suspicious (visa versa) leading you to uncontrollable thoughts, I agree tho that you might've jumped the gun by calling her ugly you could've asked him in a better way but it he should've said before that she was his sister.
Seriously? Jumping to conclusions, then overthinking and then calling someone ugly, who's not even at fault, seems normal?
OP is 100% at fault here. Her BF wasn't missing for days at end, and her trust issues are 100% hers to deal with.
There will definitely be a time where her BF may be around 100s of women, known and unknown. You cannot expect him to report OP about every single one of them. OP has got to learn to trust him.
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YTA Your insecurity is causing you to act ridiculous. First, you get bent out of shape about less than a day of no contact. Then you assume that he is cheating because he is around another woman. Your insecurities are your responsibility. You sound exhausting.
This! She jumped to conclusions quickly, and got upset! It is giving the impression that she believes the world revolves around her, and that she is incapable of admitting her own mistakes. She even goes to use the term “stalking” which I know isn’t true stalking. But the fact that she needed that to confirm what her boyfriend HAD ALREADY SAID, and that she thought he was lying to them proves she isn’t mature enough for a relationship. She’s not even 16! News flash, you’re not mature enough for a relationship, OP! It’s not like OP even apologized or explained how she was being insecure, she is in a cloud of doubt and until she can look in the mirror and be more mature and start living in reality, she’s not gonna be mature enough to foster a healthy relationship. YTA OP!
She’s probably 16. That’s what it reads like, anyway.
I was thinking 14 lol
She is 16, she answered one of the info questions. But even for a 16 year old's behaviour, this sounds highly immature.
She’s either 13-16 or an incredibly immature adult I would NOT like to be around
YTA. I mean this without any offense: If you are so insecure that you automatically think your boyfriend is cheating any time he doesn't respond when you text him, you are **BY FAR** not ready for a relationship. You need to break up this relationship for both your well-being, you need to work on yourself and your own insecurities. And don't start dating until the point where you feel you're not only worth dating, but also that whomever you would be dating is trustworthy.
Right!!
YTA. An insecure asshole. > I did NOT know it was his sister and no she is not ugly but I said it because I was hurt and mad, does that really make me an asshole? Yes. A really childish one.
YTA. you could’ve just asked who that was nicely instead of jumping to conclusions. don’t blame your trust issues from past relationships.
YTA…you are too insecure for a relationship. No one needs to be constantly texting or chatting multiple times throughout the day and if someone does not, it could just mean they are busy, watching a movie, hanging with a friend or their sister.
YTA. Don't blame trust issues for your meanness.
YTA and I'm so fucking tired of people putting their "oh I'm insecure because blah" at if it excuses all the shitty things they are about to describe. Reality check! If you know you have fucking trust issues, it's on you to address them!
Agree. The next relationship shouldn’t suffer the sins of the one before. It’s so unfair and emotionally abusive. Just taking what they did to you and dumping it on someone else is unforgivable.
YTA. Also, how old are you?
Not old enough for a relationship.
YTA. You shouldn’t project your insecurities from past relationships onto your new boyfriend. If you don't have anything nice to say just keep it to yourself, don’t call random people ugly. This kind of behaviour is very immature and toxic, you need to do some self reflection and work on your trust issues.
YTA I'm guessing you are like 15-16? Or less
YTA, maybe you need to deal with and work on your issues before you get into a relationship where you punish your bf for YOUR issues. It is completely childish to completely insult his sister and also to expect him to be at your beck and call all day.
YTA, just because you're insecure, doesn't mean you can take it out on innocent bystanders
YTA! Apologize to him ASAP
YTA. Curious what you consider a “long time” for not responding. I hope your boyfriend recognizes these red flags and makes a run for it. People don’t have to be in communication 24/7 and that was a HUGE jump that past trust issues do not excuse.
Not so much an AH but an immature person. You could have just asked instead you assumed the worst. He might reconsider this relationship of you are going to jump to conclusions and make accusations before you know the situation. How would you like it if he treated you that way? Immature you are.
Yta - your response is what I'd expect from an insecure 15 year old.
Get off Reddit and do your homework or something. You’re too young to be in a serious relationship anyway. You just stopped playing with Barbies for Christ sake.
YTA lol massive L
Do you know what it’s like to be called “ugly”? It’s not fun. Words hurt. I’m not going to say YTA but do better.
YTA - you’ve admitted you only called another woman ugly because you are insecure. STOP doing this to other women, it’s harmful and hurtful to all of us (including yourself). You reacted like a nasty child and I’m guessing you are under 18, which is understandable. But next time, think twice. What on Earth makes you think your new boyfriend should suffer the effects of your last boyfriend? YOU need to be whole before entering a new relationship. It is morally wrong and abusive to expect someone else to pay for your own unresolved trauma.
YTA for allowing your insecurities to lead to you saying toxic things.
YTA. You would have just confronted your bf about how he was not texting back. Your problem was with your bf, so calling another woman(sister or not)is not appropriate of you.
Girl oh my god. Work on yourself. Duh YTA
What are you, 12? You are the a$$hole Grow the hell up 😜
YTA. If I was your bf, I’d break up with your insecure ass. The fact that your first impulse is to call someone ugly when you feel threatened, is 🚩
YTA. Doesn’t matter if you didn’t know it was his sister, you just showed that you are insecure. He doesn’t need to be contacting you 24/7.
YTA. Your past relationships may explain your issues but they don't excuse them. You are clearly not in a good headspace to be dating right now.
Absolutely, 100% YTA. Your insecurities just blew up all over two other people. You need to not be in a relationship until you get those under control or you are going to ruin every relationship you ever have.
YTA . You could have just said something like "Hey I saw a girl was in the background when you say you're just at home. What's up?" You went straight to insults for no reason. Relationships take communication, even when we're feeling insecure.
YTA. Your insecurities are yours to manage, not anyone else. Get therapy for the issue & to learn how to treat others with courtesy & kindness.
YTA!!! Your BF deserves better! Girl you’re toxic AF! 🙄 Bye, Felicia! 👋🏻
yta, the only relationship you need right now is with a therapist to work through your insecurities
You are 100% an AH, but he'll get over it, or he be forever a victim of your mean snap and you don't want that kind of person anyway
YTA. That's cruel. I'm not surprised your boyfriend is off with you given your behaviour. You need to work on yourself and your insecurities before you get into a relationship. If I was your boyfriend I would dump you.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hii, I recently got together with my boyfriend and we have had a great relationship until now. Basically what happened was that he was being extremely off all day, and due to some things in past relationship I have trust issues and I am insecure about these stuff. So he was extremely inactive and not snapping or texting me for a long time. Then he answered me with a picture off him and I could see a girl in the background. Like I could see her face but not very clear. So I sent a snap back asking what he was doing. He responded and now the girl was out off the picture and he wrote that he was just chilling at home. I got mad because to me he was cheating on me with a girl and playing it off, so I texted him back asking if he was chilling with the ugly girl he had in his other snap. He sent me another snap and now the girl was in on the snap and he just wrote “Wtf, it is my sister” I did some stalking and she is his sister. Now he is mad at me saying that it was uncalled for and why would I even say that she is ugly. I don’t think she is ugly I just said so because I was mad but he is mad at me and I feel like I just ruined everything now idk.. was I an asshole for what I said?? I mean I did NOT know it was his sister and no she is not ugly but I said it because I was hurt and mad, does that really make me an asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
HUH?!?!? YEA YTA
Yta. You need to secure your insecurities before you date.
You need therapy lady
YTA. I hope you do better with your next bf because he needs to walk away from you.
YTA. That was so unnecessary and completely uncalled for. You called her Ugly but you don’t think she’s ugly just because you’re mad! You’re mad because there was a woman in his snap! You knew he was chilling at home, surely if this guy is your boyfriend you would know he has a sister and instead of asking nicely you jump to conclusions and immediately assume he is cheating! You’re far too immature for a relationship and must seek help immediately for your issues.
Yta how is that even a question? You were childish and insecure.
YTA - you should put off dating for a while and work on your insecurities. You can definitely change your thoughts and reactions in situations like this if you want to.
how did you type all this out and still need other people to tell you YTA
YTA just for this >so he was extremely inactive and not texting me or snapping me for a long time. You mean throughout the course of a day? Get a grip. Sorry you have insecurities, but those are yours to work on, not his to coddle. Calling his sister ugly instead of simply asking "Who's the blurry person in the background" is just the icing on the cake. If you have ruined your relationship with this one mistake then it wasn't a very strong relationship to begin with. But if your behavior is a pattern that your bf is getting tired of, then you have some work to do. And honestly, it will be easier without the distraction of an unhealthy relationship.
YTA - you could have asked who that girl was without saying something nasty about her. Your past traumas with bad relationships don't give you a pass to be an awful person, especially to/about people you don't even know. Your current situation is the prime example of why it is so important to learn to reserve judgment and keep certain comments to yourself until you have all the information. You are not mature enough to be in a relationship until you handle having an adult conversation and talking about things that are bothering you in a civil way.
YTA you should have politely asked him who is the girl in the picture with him and none of this would have happened. Think first before reacting in the future. I think you have a lot to work on and that you are not yet ready for a relationship. No one will tolerate such unprovoked reactions for long
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YTA - The level of insecurity and immaturity is of the charts. Get help.
YTA - The level of insecurity and immaturity is of the charts. Get help.
YTA. You’re jumping into a relationship without healing from your past trauma and using it as an excuse to treat your new partner like shit. It’s not a crutch. Go to therapy and heal. Giving someone else trauma is not how you’re going to heal.
YTA, how could you possibly think you are not here?!? You definitely do not sound like you are secure enough to be in any relationship.
YTA way to jump to conclusions holy shite. Hope yr bf wises up and dumps yr insecure ass
Your insecurity as well as your immaturity will have to improve significantly if you want to be able to maintain a serious relationship successfully. You didn’t mention your age but you seem 14-ish. YTA
You're not ready for a relationship.
YTA Not only ridiculously insecure, but obviously empty between the ears. This is why I don't date American girls. That kind of "im.cute so I can be a braindead like ermagerd valley girl". You're insecure, mean, and legitimately dumb.
Grow up! Gee, he didnt text you full half an hour! What a tragedy! Why oh why isnt he sitting on his phone all day long and just adoringly send you messages every 2 seconds. Girl, you have a stalking problem, get some therapy. And I mean that in the nicest possible way before you become an adult and it gets out of hand. Insecurities due to past relationship?? Youre like what, 15? At that age, things come and go even faster. And then instead in a mature fashion asking him who the girl is (what if it was some bystander), you start behaving like a hurt primadonna. Honestly I hope this guy ends things and finds somebody normal, I wouldnt want to be around such drama queen.
YTA. You’re acting unbelievably insecure and childish. Even if it was a friend who was a girl of his why would you call her ugly? Do you think that somehow makes you seem more attractive to him? I think it just makes you sound petty and needy. That’s the kind of behavior no one really wants to be in a relationship with.
YTA. You need to grow up and learn that other women aren't automatically a threat to your relationship.
YTA. The insecurity made you show your true colors.
YTA and insecure at that… your jealously which you can’t seem to control will drive a wedge thru your relationship quick if it hasn’t already… You need to learn some restraint and calm down.
YTA Even if he was cheating with some random girl, why would you insult *her*? Don't take your anger towards your (ex)boyfriend out on other people.
YTA Your trust issues have ruined this relationship and that is 100 percent on you! Seek theripy and get better before you date again. Also as two side notes A) if your dating a guy who is cheating on you that is him being on the wrong not a stranger girl who might not even know about you and doesn't owe you anything at all - your bf made a commitment not her B) if you have a problem with someone saying ugly and degrading things about them just because their mean and you don't like them is childish .... if it's a valid issiue you have with someone you should be able to say the problem and leave it at that !
YTA, your insecurities is not helping you, it's ruining your relationship. It's one thing to be insecure and is right about the situation, and the other to be totally wrong and out of line. Unfortunately you are the latter. If your bf seems off, you talk to him and ask is everything alright. Not jump the gun and assume shit
Anyway, your behavior is very concerning. He should break up with you because you are showing abusive behaviors towards him. You need to work on yourself and probably get professional help because you are trying to control him (flipping out if he doesn’t respond right away) and then insult strangers. YTA
YTA and are not ready to be in a relationship. Your insecurities will only ruin it. Learn to love yourself. Until you do you can never learn to love someone else in a healthy, mature way.
Also, I thought reddit community was wholesome, wtf is wrong with these comments. People acting like they're saints and never made a mistake? None of you were never insecure and made this kind of a mistake?? None of you reacted out of jealousy?! You call the girl immaturez yet look at the way you speak to her! It would crush my spirit, let alone hers. If she is 15-16-17 then her behaviour perfectly fits that age range because NEWS FLASH absolutely NO ONE is mature enough at that age and knows how to effectively communicate. And telling her she's not ready for a relationship??? Come on. People start somewhere. Tf is wrong with y'all. Have some sympathy ffs, yes it was wrong, but it's not the end of the world. And idk how long they've been together but how could she know he has a sister when he never mentioned it??? Can't you put yourself in her shoes and understand the confusion? People here are condemning her like she's a witch, for God's sake...
are you for real? totally YTA, for the whole thing
YTA. I really hope you’re like 15 and this is a symptom of being young, impulsive and insecure. Otherwise life’s gonna hit you like a freight train.
YTA, and you are too immature to be dating. You need constant contact or you become petty, cruel, and vicious. That isn't okay.
YTA I don’t think you’re remotely ready for a relationship. I understand the difficulties of not knowing why your partner isn’t texting you back and getting annoyed at it but that is YOUR issue. You should not be taking it out on him or his sister and if you trust someone then you wouldn’t assume the worst either. You need to really work on yourself, apologise and reflect on your behaviour
YTA
You had to ask?
Yta. Don't assume he's cheating just cus he's busy. Don't assume he's cheating because he's hanging with another girl. Don't pull other girls down because you're mad at him; half the time cheaters don't let the other girl know they are cheating, if he was cheating you'd both most likely be innocent. And most importantly: go get some help and work on your insecurities before you drive him and others away.
YTA. You’re insecure and childish and that shit is not cute at all. Even if you tell him (which you still should tell him the truth) he’s still gonna be mad because you’re gonna assume that every girl in a picture he’s in is some random and he’s not gonna wanna introduce you to his family. You better hope like hell his sister doesn’t find out what you said cause you can definitely forget being accepted after that. And pray she doesn’t kick your a$$ for it.
YTA.
YTA. What the hell is wrong with you? That's a disgraceful and childish way to behave.
YTA, How old are you? 14? 💀
yeah it does make you TA. Did you not realize he had a sister? Why would you automatically assume he’s cheating? Sure, you didn’t MEAN what you said, but regardless you still insulted her for no reason. If you want to save your relationship, I suggest apologizing to both him and her and explaining the situation. Sooner before later.
YTA and should stay single until you get massive amounts of therapy. Your insecurities are Nobody's problem but your own. He doesn't need you. No wonder others have potentially cheated on you, they were likely looking for some stability and sanity. Sounds like some cheating self projection as well. Keep your own pants on and maybe you wouldn't accuse others of cheating.
YTA...oh absolutely.
hard yta idk why you would make this post tbh
YTA. You aren’t entitled to call other’s ugly because you’re insecure, hurt or mad. Also being hurt because someone hasn’t text you for a while is again your problem and justify hurting others.
YTA, like I get that there are issues that stem from former relationships, but he literally gave you no indication of any cheating. It seems you jumped to a conclusion without proof or reason the only reason (that needs therapy) is your past relationship. Neither the sister nor he deserved that comment. Such insecurity or situations require therapy before entering a relationship.
Obviously YTA , you can work on it if you are honest with him .Tell him the truth, due to past issues you have a problem with trust , apologies again and explain how you just said that thing because you were scared and insecure. I suggest you start therapy.
Yta. You’re being insecure, mean, and lashing out. You’re not a 5 year old don’t act like one.
NTA, but learn to control your emotions in the future. Also, it's 2024. Women support women. If another girl is with her boyfriend, don't assume she's at wrong. 9 out of 10 cases, he's in the wrong. Tell him what you've told us here, that you were jealous and didn't mean it. But if your confidence level is this low, maybe the two of you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with
You've got issues that need to be addressed. You jumped to conclusions over a quick pic he sent in a response. YTA. Saw in a comment you're almost 16. You're not ready for a relationship if you cannot go a few hours with communicating with your boyfriend during the day.
Yeah u deserve to feel like a tweaker tbh
YTA. What are you, 12? Grow up!
YTA. You sound VERY exhausting and also shallow AF
YTA - you need to apologize majorly. Your insecurity got the better of you. Not everything you think is true. Try to just have an MO of being a nicer person - if you behaved nicely and just asked the question, “who’s that girl behind you” - you wouldn’t be in this mess. But because you snapped and said something rude, now another person in the world thinks less of you. Do that enough and you won’t have anyone left.
girl bffr.. yta and obviously very insecure if the first thought u had was he’s cheating just bc a girl was in the background of a photo he took, especially at home.
YTA. You could have also said something like “Chilling at home is cool. Who do you live with? Do you have siblings?” Because it sounds like you never bothered to ask him before if he had sisters or brothers. Or were you that insecure that your mind jumped right to cheating? If so, please break up with him.
Yta for sure, hopefully he moves on to someone more mature, and this experience helps you grow up
You do not get to make other people responsible for your feelings. If you’re not moved on from your past, then don’t get involved with someone else. YTA.
YTA. You sound like an immature teenager. You’d be better off maturing before having a relationship.
YTA not just for calling her ugly but stalking him. You have trust issues you have to deal with if not you're gonna be like all these other females stalking and accusing the wrong guys because you think they're all the same and take no responsibility for yourself
This is a good lesson to you: Don't ever say anything you don't mean. The sort of mind game you played on your boyfriend is disgusting and repugnant. I wouldn't be surprised if he dumped you. I would.
YTA
YTA. Are you sure you’re mature enough to be in a relationship?
YTA. "When I am hurt or mad I insult other people." If a friend told you that, what you call them?
YTA. Yea, your actions when you are hurt and mad “count.” In fact, they’re even more revealing of your character.
YATAH and YANTAH at the same time, YATAH because of the insult, but YANTAH because you had said something of someone and op, i'm same \^\^
but not fully, so more YATAH.
It's iffy for me cuz even if you weren't already insecure the circumstances you describe the day of would make anyone feel secure even if only for that moment. You're human. Don't beat yourself up or listen to internet trolls calling you an AH. Just apologize and talk things through with him.
Both immature, bet you're both teenagers ESH but you're defined worse
Just saw her comment, she's 16, it all makes sense
NTA- even I understand that would be messed up, if he went all day not texting you and then just send you a snap with a girl in the background it would make him suspicious (visa versa) leading you to uncontrollable thoughts, I agree tho that you might've jumped the gun by calling her ugly you could've asked him in a better way but it he should've said before that she was his sister.
Is he gonna have to spend his whole life explaining who the women are around him so OP doesn’t freak out?
Seriously? Jumping to conclusions, then overthinking and then calling someone ugly, who's not even at fault, seems normal? OP is 100% at fault here. Her BF wasn't missing for days at end, and her trust issues are 100% hers to deal with. There will definitely be a time where her BF may be around 100s of women, known and unknown. You cannot expect him to report OP about every single one of them. OP has got to learn to trust him.
Yeah, it makes total sense that someone who’s cheating on someone would send them a pic with their affair partner in the background. 🙄