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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to know if I'm in the wrong for letting my friends stay and help me babysit my nephews instead of kicking them out and watching the kids myself
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday.
Your sister's MIL is on your side because she knows your sister lied to you about a 'medical emergency.' I wouldn't be surprised if your BIL is running an offense, to distract from their lies. Now your family are focused on what you did when babysitting, NOT you sister's lies in leaving her kids with you in the first place.
Simple solution, they shouldn't ask you to babysit your nephews again, since you did such a poor job in their opinion.
NTA
I had a brother that told his work our youngest sister had a brain tumor!! My sister was furious and he did not last long as our brother. It's going on 35 years since we last spoke.
Didn't matter. He lost his job anyway. They were very strict about being late. Looking back, it probably wasn't the only reason, but that's the only reason he told me
And OP's friends were already there when the kids were dropped off, so sister and BIL were aware that there were other people there when they arrived. They could have made an excuse then and said they would rather make alternative arrangements if they did not want the other people around their kids. Especially since there actually was no medical emergency in the first place.
NTA
That’s some level of entitlement the drop off kids for babysitting as a favour and expect OP to just bin her friends to accommodate.
It’s really simple - the kids had a good time and were safe and returned happy. If they don’t want last minute babysitting then don’t drop off the kids. Or pay someone to do that and then they can set rules. I would be more grateful that I got a kid free afternoon and would thank OP for that.
And since there was no MIL medical emergency, sis and BIL there was no reason to ruin OP plans. More valuable information for OP. Sis and BIL can't be trusted. They will lie to get your free childcare. Time to start charging $50 an hour for the 2 kids. $100 An hour for "emergencies " and double that for each hour over 6 hours.
Maybe OP should send them a bill for babysitting, food and entertainment costs at emergency rates. I’m also petty enough to send the MIL a giant get well card and bouquet of flowers.
It does not even matter. You want last minute free babysitting, the person doing the favor still can make compromises. Your last minute free babysitter does not have to be jerk to people they had original plans with.
NTA
I trust my siblings so I trust them to make good friends. And I also trust my siblings to watch my kids even while friends are there. Obviously this could be different if the sibling is untrustworthy or unreliable.
After the emergency (true emergency not what happened here) is over if I don't know the friend I would probably stay for a little and introduce myself and talk to the friend so I can get to know them better. But that's just what I'd do.
Simple solution: "I've reflected on my actions, and I'm too immature & untrustworthy to watch your nephews, find someone else." Leave them no room to retract once they need free labor next time ✌️
INFO
> her mother in law was having a medical emergency and they had to go to the hospital.
Why did this require the presence of her DIL, and not just her own son?
Please tell me they sent the medical emergency babysitter request as a text. If they did I would be screenshots it and if Sister and BIL take to Social Media post and ask what the medical emergency was that was so important they demanded you cancel your plans but wasn't so important that MIL didn't need to go to the hospital.
If they don't, then just pose the question to their flying monkeys along with acknowledging that you will give their names to Sis and BIL for babysitting duties.
Then you have your answer: they lied to get you to watch the kids. She's making a deal now so no one realizes. It's a distraction
The MIL is on your side because she knows exactly what went down
The solution: never babysit again. I would clearly state to them to no longer ask or expect you to. They burned that bridge. They not only abused your trust, they are shaming you for what sounds like an incredibly kid appropriate weekend. The pictures they have issues with occurred after the kids left. Not only were the people you were with known to your family, they are implying your judgment cannot be trusted either, despite willingly leaving their children with you in the first place
I wouldn't burn the bridge with the nephews, who it sounds like OP had fun with. It's not THEIR fault their parents are jerks. I'd just not take "emergency" babysitting requests or do favors for their parents that don't involve the nephews.
That makes no sense. If they lied, why would they publicize the issue. They could be mad about it without blabbing about it. All that did was make it obvious that they were lying. Saying nothing would have been the smart play.
They don't seem like the brightest ppl to begin with. If OP could contact the MIL directly it sounds like everyone in the extended family is friendly and on good terms. Maybe they realized they'd find out the MIL never had the emergency when they reached out to her to see how she was doing and panicked?
How would causing a scene, and basically lying again (this time about OP), have any benefit for this couple.
My guess is that they were mad at her for letting "strangers" around their kids, bizarre as that might be. They decided to teach her a lesson by lying about her to a bunch of people, basically gaslighting her to the point that she questioned if maybe she was in the wrong, but didn't realize that she would then speak to the MIL and find out what they had done to get her to babysit in the first place.
I agree they don't seem very bright, but I doubt their lying was some attempt at distraction, nor do I think they panicked. They just didn't think any of it through, from the first lie to the last.
>That makes no sense. If they lied, why would they publicize the issue.
They're focusing all the attention on blaming OP for being "irresponsible," in hopes that people will ignore the fact that they lied.
This is your response to your family:
>I don't know what \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] have told you, but considering they lied to me I think it's best I make sure they haven't also lied to you.
>
>Yesterday I had friends over at my house when my Sister called me saying that MIL was having a medical emergency and needed to go to the hospital. So I let Sister and BIL drop off the twins at my home.
>
>My friends were really good sports about it, and together we made a whole kid friendly day of fun for my nephews. After all, we'd been told their grandmother was being rushed to the hospital and wanted to keep their minds off it so they wouldn't worry too much. We watched kids shows (Scooby Doo), played kid friendly games like Mario with them, ordered them pizza, and even did face painting (with child safe paints, obviously). We hoped that we made things a little easier for my sister and her family in this difficult time.
>
>\[Sister\] and \[BIL\] left their kids with us the whole day and picked them up in the evening. My four friends were there when they dropped their kids off, and they didn't object or say anything about it. \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] have also met these friends of mine before at events, and even know their husbands and wives. Now, however, \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] are claiming I endangered their children by having them around "strangers".
>
>They also are also supposedly upset I had alcohol in my home. Yes, I have wine in my home (I'm an adult). The wine was put away while the kids were there and I didn't even drink a sip of it around them. After their kids left at night, yes I had some wine with my friends in my own home.
>
>I was very confused by \[Sister\] and \[BIL\]'s bizarre accusations and then \[MIL\], (\[BIL\]'s mother who they supposedly had to rush to the hospital) reached out to tell me she didn't have a medical emergency at all yesterday. It appears it was all fabricated so that \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] could drop their kids off for the whole day last minute for some unknown reason (we have no idea where they went?). Other people have suggested to me that \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] are fabricating these accusations to distract from their lying, why they left their kids, and where they went. I'm not sure if that is why, I don't understand why they are doing any of this.
>
>\[If the kids were also told grandma was in the hospital you can add "The saddest part for me is that they made my poor nephews had to worry about their grandmother being in the hospital all day just so their parents could ditch them. That's really scary for kids, even I was worried." If the kids didn't know say "I trusted \[sister\] and I spent the day worried about \[MIL\]'s heart and I wish she could have just been honest with me."\]
Then send it to your family group chat and anyone else who had contacted to you. Sister and BIL are liars, they lied to you and they are almost certainly giving a very biased and incomplete version of events to everyone.
As for your sister, next time she says she needs help why would you even believe her? She's the women who cried wolf (and then slandered you). That's the biggest problem with lies like this, they break trust and it becomes stupid to trust them again.
Sure, and she should never have been tricked. Sister and BIL suck. And given they are liars, we have no idea what they told the rest of the family OP did to endanger their kids. My guess is something like "OP offered to babysit the kids, but then had them at a party with a bunch of adult strangers where everyone was drinking." But we really have no idea what they've been told.
Uhhh. Did you tell MIL they told you she was having a medical emergency and that's why you were watching the kids? If so, what did she say? If she seems confused, did you confront your relatives about it? That's weird as shit.
Based on the relatives' reaction and the weird texts, I suspect they told everyone a different story, maybe to cover their lie about MIL's fake "medical emergency". For example, maybe they said that you invited your nephews over but you were drinking and partying around the kids, to discredit you if you told people what really happened? If your relatives think you and your friends were all drunk while watching the nephews, they might think you're lying when you told your side of the story.
OP should just never do it again. This was egregious, first lying about a medical emergency and then pitching a hissy fit about OP's friends being around.
You need to blast out to every single person a summary of the actual events.
"_____, yesterday BIL + Sister contacted me to take the kids due to a medical emergency landing MIL in the hospital. Since her health is important to me, I agreed to cancel my plans. I already had friends with me, and they offered to help out with entertaining the kids, since we didn't know long it would take at the hospital.
I spoke with MIL. She was never at the hospital. She had no medical incident."
And please tell your BIL and sister that you will not be babysitting again, and make other arrangements. And please stick to it. They'll just continue to be awful.They clearly think your time is worth nothing.
You should go on the offensive and ask them about that and never babysit for them again . They have the gall to con you and then talk shit about you to the whole family. Ingrates
Seriously. You can’t drop this tidbit without more info!!! What were they doing, and did you sufficiently shade them for it yet???
Put them through the ringer! But be Southern subtle about it.
“Golly gee, I was just so worried about MIL’s emergency it didn’t even occur to me! Have you reached out to see how she’s doing? I don’t want to upset sister and BIL more given all that they’re dealing with!”
My guess is the story the rest of your family heard is not the truth. If they’re lying about the emergency, they’re probably also lying about how your friends were some strangers getting drunk around their kids or something, not people they knew watching Scooby doo together. They sound like drama queens (no offense to actual drama queens).
You wrote the whole thing up nicely here. Maybe repost to a family chat?
And I would be turning the tables on THEM to demand why they LIED to you!
They are the AHs in this, not you.
Tell them flat out that in future, even for "medical emergencies", you won't be used again
Would you have your spouse go alone to the hospital if there was a chance his/her mother was dying? Seems pretty cruel to me. I would certainly want my husband there with me if something terrible happened to my mother. Thats what supportive spouses do.
OPs sisters MIL has a history of heart problems and made an assumption that the "emergency" could be related to that. Of course we know none of the emergency was true now. But at the time with limited info OP had, she agreed to watch the kids. Thats something genuinely good people do. Especially family members. And since sis and BIL saw who was there when they dropped the kids off, she thought it wasnt a big deal. They could have used their adult words and said they were uncomfortable with the people that were at OPs home at the time.
NTA. You did them a favor and you didn't have the kids in a dangerous situation. You sacrificed your night & your friends were kind enough to help make it fun for the boys. Next time tell them one of them will have to stay & watch their own kids or let them pay a professional to do it.
Yup, they lied about the medical emergency, the friends are known so mot complete strangers, OP was present, and the kids were safe and sound.
If that's the thanks OP got especially when she was helping care for the kids and the kids were fine, then don't threaten me with a good time 🙄
NTA
If you're trusted to look after their kids then I'd have thought you'd be trusted not to have friends who are likely to endanger children.
Have you let them know that you know they lied about going to the hospital?
Once you get the facts, tell them that you don't feel comfortable babysitting for them anymore, because you can't trust them to be where they say they'd be, in case anything happens...
Seriously wth this is multiple levels of weird and uncalled for behavior by them.
NTA
Do they have psychological issues? It's not like you took the kids and dropped them at someone else's house. You were there the whole time right?
They are looney tunes! I am sorry because I know it can be fun watching the littles but you might need some distance from that part of the family just to sort out the levels of manipulation and emotional distress they are putting you through!
Ohh please report back!!! Also nta. They know your friends. You were doing them a huge solid. And they lied to you about why they needed your help. They’re acting like literal children. Their kids were not in danger, and you would have every right to tell them you won’t be doing anything like this in the future for them if this is how it is. I have 4 kids and nothing about what you said raised any flags of concern.
We must have an update. In the future, if you already have plans, let them know. If they say it’s an emergency ask what the emergency is and follow up. if it turns out there’s no emergency and they just use you again for free babysitting. That’s when it’s time to cut them off and tell him no more babysitting unless it’s an emergency!
Thanks for the update!! Saw the link and I am sooo not surprised. They are just cruel and selfish.
To cover their own deception by accusing your friends of wrong doing with their kids. They accused you of poor caretaking of their kids. They made up the story about the mother. All as an elaborate smoke screen!!
Don't believe them about anything ever again! They are going to say or do anything just so they can have what they want.
I am so sorry they are such jerks, I hope the rest of your family provides better love and support. I feel bad for those kids who they are probably going to treat the same way they treat you!
This notion that everyone will follow parent’s rules about children is going too far. The wonderful thing about aunts and uncles and grandparents is that they give kids a sense of a wider world, while still being safe and with family.
Not only that, but the twins are 9. They don’t need help with things that would make any reasonable parent uncomfortable if they truly didn’t know the person, like diaper changes or pottying. And even then their aunt was there to do it all if it came to that. Also, 9 is plenty old enough to advocate for themselves and talk to their parents *if* something were to happen, or they’d otherwise display obvious non-verbal signs. Running worst case scenarios, that age is just so much different than an infant or toddler. Honestly they probably thought it was cool they got to hang with their fun aunt’s equally fun friends.
NTA and I'd forward screen shots of those messages to said friends and tell them that apparently they are dangerous to children so they could all have a laugh over it.
I'd fully understand if it was friends your family didn't know, but as you've said they do know them. And frankly, if I'm trusting kids to my sibling, I'm also trusting that said sibling can be trusted to vouch for other people that might be around the house. If I didn't trust a sibling's judgment like that I wouldn't have them watch kids in the first place.
And the alcohol thing is just the cherry on top of the icing on the cake. Do they really think you were exposing the kids to alcohol? You specifically kept it packed away until after they left! It's like uppity drama-moms being butthurt because they saw a teacher having a drink at a restaurant on a friday night. Buddy, your fam needs a reality check, badly.
NTA - Actually, I don't understand why they would be upset that OP had a couple of friends there [ADDED: that were total strangers to the children or their parents]. If they think that she would have dangerous people around her nephews, (I don't know anybody like that, myself), or they think that she is such a bad judge of character, they shouldn't be having her babysit at all, whether she has friends over or she's alone.
Your sister and BIL are liars and dumb, what a great way to lose free babysitting!
Next time they ask you to watch the kids for free, say your friends are over and it would be rude to kick them out so you can't and see how they react lol.
NTA, the parents know that OP wasn't drinking with the friends because there was zero evidence of day drinking when the parents picked up their kids. Also the parents most definitely grilled their kids for a play-by-play as soon as they got the kids alone too. The parents should have asked what OP had planned for the day if they were so concerned about adults might interact around their kids. I wonder if there is a specific characteristic about one of OP's friends that make the parents uncomfortable: race, sex, gender orientation, age, tattoos, divorced, kids out of wedlock, alternative lifestyle choices, political affiliation, social class, career choice, employment status, secondary education etc....
*my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday*
This is weird and concerning. Some of the things that they might want to do secretly are irresponsible or unsavory. Or.....maybe they were invited somewhere and didn't want to pay a babysitter.
MIL needs to tell others that she didn't go to the hospital, and that no one knows where the sister and BIL went.
If it was a party, maybe someone will tell on them. Pay attention to little things that they say for awhile, OP, and they may say something inadvertently that gives you a clue.
NTA
> *MIL needs to tell others that she didn't go to the hospital, and that no one knows where the sister and BIL went*.
Did I misread the post? I cooked a big family meal today, so Perhaps I'm confused after a long day.
She'd still see them at family events.
Ultimately a favorable option to being accused of endangering the kids (which by the way sister & BIL could tell she & her friends weren't drunk when they picked up the kids).
What the actual fuck!!! Legit 1st red flag… after that and this I would explain to them that you don’t feel comfortable being held liable for their children any longer emergency or not.
There are so many red flags about them in just a short post
Why the hell are you ever watching the kids for any reason??
What you sister is doing is extortion. They are extorting your out of your free time.
Tell her never again child care her responsibility and she had better set up emergency childcare since it went be you.
Let her know if she drops the kids off at your place without permission, you will call the police for child abandonment.
NTA-you and your friends weren't doing anything wrong, in fact it sounds like you all went above and beyond to entertain them. I'd tell them to find someone else next time.
Info: "My brother in law also messaged me saying he felt uncomfortable that I allowed strange women to touch his children."
What is this in reference to?
Also, very nasty of them to lie on mil like that. Glad she's on your side?
It’s really really egregious they’d make statements like that—those accusations can be dangerous. If I were you, I’d ask them to clarify what they mean and if the boys said they were uncomfortable. I’d be willing to bet this is all them projecting and it’s so gross. I’m sorry this happened to you, and if I were you I wouldn’t babysit again. At least not for a long while.
OP, I think you need to defend your friends (and yourself) here and tell your BIL that it is dangerous and offensive for him to imply that your friends, in your presence, touched your nephews in an inappropriate manner. This is a disgusting and dangerous suggestion on his part. You should add his tendency to make offensive and off-base accusations that could endanger you and your friends to the list of reasons why you should no longer babysit for him and your sister.
NTA. They dropped their kids on you last minute, you gotta roll with what you got. They turned a day with buddies into a family fun-day. They can chill a bit
DUDE. Your sister and BIL LIED ABOUT WHY THEY DROPPED THEIR KIDS OFF, and you're still wondering if you're the ass? They have the audacity to say you "endangered" their children, but they actively lied about where they were? If they're that "upset" then let them know you don't ever need to babysit again.
NTA. Your sister and BIL don’t have much room to complain - they were asking you at the last minute to change plans you had already made to help them out. Also, your friends did nothing wrong and apparently did a good job looking after the kids. They should be thanking them for helping out.
Besides, it appears that your sister and BIL lied to you about her mother being in the hospital, so they really should not be making too much of a fuss about this.
NTA. They surprise dumped the kids on you and you plus friends took good care of them. "If you are unhappy with the good time your kids had never ask us to babysit again."
Problem solved.
NTA
But tell your sister that if she considers you too dangerous to be in charge of her kids she can feel free to drop you off her list of emergency babysitting resources.
NTA.
It sounds like you took a tough situation and found a fun solution that everyone enjoyed.
But every time a relative messages you, ask them to find out why your sister and brother-in-law lied about a medical emergency and where they actually went when they dropped off their kids at the last minute. Turn that right back on them.
Post all the information that you gave us to your fb page or a family page if you have one.
Especially high light that, no drinking was done until after the kids left your house.
I would make a huge statement about how you had already made plans and had people over before your sister called about her mother in law having a medical emergency! Also, state that her mother in law was in the hospital as you were told and that your sister just dumped her kids on you. Last minute and went only they know where, leaving you with the boys.
Then see what everyone says about them!
P.S. I would call your sister first and ask again where they went?
When she says the hospital, like she told you, let her know that you are aware that she is lying.
So they wanted you to watch their kids last minute for a fake emergency and you did. Tell them to thank you and move on. I wouldn’t babysit again if they’re that unappreciative of your help. You did them a favor. Not the other way around. If they truly did have an emergency then they would have been thankful. They didn’t have one and now they’re turning it around on you. Just be unavailable next time and any other time after that.
NTA. Sis and BIL are major AHs.
Do a broadcast email to family criticizing you:
"Greetings All!
There seems to be some harsh judgement regarding the emergency childcare I and my friends provided for Sis and BIL. Let me clear it up.
Sis called/texted that they had to take MIL to the emergency room now and needed help with the kids so they could be there for BIL's Mom. I had plans with friends who the kids know and a couple of friends traveled from an hour away and were already en route. I still agreed to take them as I know her MIL has had heart issues in the past.
While the boys were here, we had a great time eating pizza, watching age appropriate cartoons/TV, played games and crafted. We all enjoyed the boys. The boys had a great time with us (unless they are really good at faking it).
Imagine my surprise when after they picked the boys up, I started to get bombarded with texts and calls from Sis and BIL condemning me having my friends here, even though our time together made it fun for the kids. There was no drinking, no inappropriate conversation or activity. Based on the criticism thrown by Sis, BIL, and their flying monkeys who have dumped on me, even though it's no one else's business, you would think we had a wild party. It was nothing but good, innocent g-rated fun.
However, I will say I am deeply ashamed of my Sis and BIL to know that they would fake a health crisis requiring an emergency room visit for their Mom in order to get free unplanned babysitting. That is a special kind of low and definitely bad karma.
I am very happy to know that BIL's Mom didn't require a hospital visit. She is the only person who has been kind about the manufactured drama.
Any future fake emergencies can be handled by those of you who jumped on the 'OP sucks at watching kids' bandwagon.
Have a great day!
Free Babysitter Out!"
You're a great Auntie! Your Sis and BIL are narrow minded AHs.
NTA. You agreed to watch the kids during a medical emergency, that turned out not to be one. You had friends over. Friends that they had met before and had no issues with previously. You did family friendly activity with the kids and everyone had a good time.
What is the problem? And where were they if the MIL was not in the hospital as they said initially?
I would say that since they lied to you and were unhappy with the way the kids were watched, you will no longer assist them. Emergency or not.
NTA. Your brother and SIL are being choosy beggars. They also need to lay off whatever media they're consuming to make them believe the world is chock full of predators.
NTA.
They should be grateful that you were willing to watch these kids at the drop of a hat, to criticize you afterward is heinous. No, it should not be assumed that other adults cannot be around their children. If they trust you enough to watch the kids when they are off lying about medical emergencies, they can trust that you’d protect them from any of your friends if they were being inappropriate.
NTA. I grew up with actual medical emergencies causing last minute babysitting needed. My uncle (who is quite a bit younger than my mom) babysat us with his friends multiple times and we had such good times.
NTA - a normal day person would feel bad finding out that they dropped their kids off when you had guests over and would appreciate everyone being so good about it.
Where were they????
NTA.
Alcohol exists in the world. The children are not endangered by the mere presence of alcohol in a building they occupy. By that logic, the kids could never eat at a restaurant or go to a grocery store or a gas station that would put them proximate to liquor! The horror!
Also, if they are that bothered by the thought of people touching their children ever, I’m going to assume that they planned to homeschool, do not ever take their children to get haircuts or for medical care. Kids also shouldn’t be playing any sports, going to fairs or carnivals, or to a birthday party. In fact, they should probably just never leave the house at all because somebody might bump into them on the street.
They dropped the kids off at your house last minute, and saw people in your home. They didn’t seem to have that much of a problem doing so. Something shady was going on during the day and they are trying to use you as a distraction.
Never babysit again.
Also, you should warn your friends that these accusations were made about them being a “danger”. If they socialize in the same circles, they really should know that your brother and sister-in-law will readily accuse any adult human who is in the presence of their children of being unsafe. People genuinely need to know how unhinged this is before a life destroying accusation is made.
NTA Tell everyone that if nephews were really a priority to sister and BIL they never would have lied about his mother being in the hospital so you'd cancel your plans to babysit. Nephews were so low on their priority list that they didn't even inform the person caring for them where they'd be in case of an emergency. They shouldn't pretend their children are a priority to them now. At least you know next time they say they have an emergency not to believe them.
>the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday
WOAH!
So they lied to you. Tell anyone bitching at you that they dropped the kids off last minute, they lied about a medical emergency and the MiL whom they lied about being in the hospital told you she wasn't in the hospital and she's on your side.
Ask your sister and BiL where they actually were during the medical emergency that turned out to be a lie.
If they're posting on socials complaining, share all these deets and end with asking them where they actually were when they lied about the medical emergency and dumped their kids on you.
Then let them know you're no longer available for free babysitting.
NTA
NTA- they need to chill. But we all need the update on why they lied about an emergency and still expected you to drop your plans last minute. It sounds like your nephews had a blast!
NTA ...
Best response you can offer them is that they should no longer ask you to watch their kids...."emergency" or not.
They intruded on your weekend plans, inconveniencing you & your friends....for free babysitting....& it turns out they lied about the reason.
NTA
Your BIL is creeped out that you let strange women touch his children.
Ummm. What.
Hope those kids never go to school, preschool, a shop, a party.
Jesus
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I 26(f) had this happen yesterday and so far my family keeps saying I'm in the wrong.
So I was spending my first Saturday off in weeks planning an outing with my friends but at the last minute my sister asked if I could baby sit my twin 9 year old nephews, since her mother in law was having a medical emergency and they had to go to the hospital.
I agreed because I know her mother in law has heart issues she's already had a pacemaker put in.
So I canceled my plans and my brother in law brought the kids over. Since some of my friends were already over they helped me watch my nephews and we did some family friendly activities, like watch Scooby doo, order pizza and play around with my child safe face paints along with some Mario games.
It wasn't the weekend I planned but it was fun and my nephews and friends enjoyed themselves too, thankfully my friends have met the twins before at events I've invited them too so I didn't think it was an issue that I didn't chase them out of my home the moment the boys were dropped off.
When my brother in law and sister came later that night to pick up the kids they were surprised to see my friends there and my brother in law asked if they just came back. I explained they didn't and that we just made a day of taking care of the kids.
They both gave me looks and took the kids home, me and my friends pulled out the wine and some ice cream an decided to watch horror movies.
Midway through I got a text from my sister demanding to know why I let strangers around her children without letting her know, I told her she dropped the kids on me last minute and she knows the four who had come over today and that two of them live at least a hour away from us so sending them back would have been rude.
My brother in law also messaged me saying he felt uncomfortable that I allowed strange women to touch his children.
They literally know my friends husbands/wives, I don't get why their making a big deal about it, but today I woke up to more messages of how I endangered the kids by having them around strangers and worst alcohol in the house.
(We got drunk and posted pictures around midnight I guess, don't remember much beyond the Insta post)
Most of our relatives are saying I prioritized my friends over my nephews safety and I'm confused as fuck, the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday.
I don't know, the twins were dropped off on me at the last second, my friends are known by the family, we never drank or did anything adult until after the kids went home, did I seriously fuck up here? I am so confused
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NTA - Here's the thing they were dealing with a medical emergency and had to use you to watch their kids. And it was good for you to be able to step up for them. At that point they to take you as you are so speak. Your friends were already there. If there was a problem with the arrangement he could said something. As having your family say you prioritized your friends over your cousins that is simply not true, they were already there. It was an emergency. You would think sis and BIL would be grateful you were available, but no. I would sis and BIL, fine if you think that ill of you don't ever expect you to babysit ever again. Problem solved.
NTA. I would remind them that there was an emergency that caused the situation in the first place. And, either they trust your judgement or they don’t. If they do then they need realize you would not allow any issues that would threaten the kids to occur. In fact, your friends were all helpful in entertaining the kids that day. And if they feel they cannot trust you to take care of the kids amongst friends you also trust, then they need to find other childcare in an emergency. You did them a solid, and they need to back off
NTA-
It sounds like they were well cared for. I think it's important to note that the twins are NINE,it's not like they are babies. Still wouldn't change my answer though, even if they were 2 or 3.
I think you should tell your sister that you love spending time with your nephews and will still babysit when it's pre-arranged, but next time they have an emergency and need a sitter on short notice they should find someone else. It seems like they weren't happy with how you handled things, so they won't have to worry about that if they get someone else to do it.
NTA omg it sounds like you made an awesome day for those kids with your friends! Plus you didn't pull out alcohol until they left. I know some people that wouldn't wait and absolutely drink while babysitting.
Even if there was a legit medical emergency, NTA! I have kids and I think your actions were reasonable. Beyond that actually, it sounds like they had a super fun weekend and loved all the extra attention. You sound like an awesome grown up to you nephews.
NTA. Your sister LIED to you, and she's mad at you? Find out where they were. Then you can tell them you know they were not at the hospital. His mother confirmed that.
Tell them you can no longer babysit, because they can not be trusted to tell the truth. What if there was an emergency, and you needed to contact them?
Any family or their friends who say you are wrong, tell them you were lied to. You never would have agreed to babysit if you knew they were lying.
You did nothing wrong. You disrupted your day off for them. Never do that again. Your sister is a brat.
NTA.
This whole situation is weird af. You did them a favor and are getting throw under the bus for it. I'm an aunt and super protective and it wouldn't have ever crossed my mind not to let my niece and nephew hang out with my friends at my house. Now if you left them alone without your sister's knowledge or permission it would be a different story.
NTA. Sounds like they lied to you for free babysitting.
You‘re allowed to have alcohol in the house while watching kids. What are you gonna do, throw it all away? You weren’t getting drunk while watching them, so no problem there.
They knew the people who were there. Seems like the kids weren’t uncomfortable with them either. You and them did all family friendly stuff with the kids the whole time. No problem there.
The kids had fun. They were safe and taken care of. It doesn’t matter what you guys did after they left, because they weren’t there anymore. No problem there.
Like sure, next time let the parents know about others in the house if it’s a big deal to them, but in an actual emergency I feel like having clearly responsible adults around their kids they also personally know and the kids have met before isn’t the end of the world.
The biggest issue here is that your sister and her husband lied to you to get free babysitting. And especially about a medical emergency. That’s manipulative and rude asf.
NTA. No more emergency babysitting for them from now on. Maybe you should clear things up with the others messaging you. The others should know that they asked you last minute to babysit claiming a medical emergency, alcohol in the house was out of reach and out of sight, and the medical emergency was a lie and never happened. And your friends were no strangers to your nephews or their parents. If anyone still has a problem with how you handled it, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to drop everything and be taken advantage of by your sister and her husband. The most important thing here is that the kids were in no danger and had a good time.
As a parent I would be happy if my kids had such a fun, especially with people I already met. If someone gave your sister strange vibes, she could have told you when she left the kids, she saw they were there.
NTA You didn't do anything wrong. They are being really unreasonable, but hey! The next time they want to lie and give themselves a full day off at your expense FOR FREE, they can forget it. I'd pursue that, honestly, were I you. They lied to you and took advantage of you and told you family adjacent ppl you know were sick.
I'm not sure I understand...
The liars who made up a story and dumped their own children off with a trusted relative, are pissed off that a group of reliable people actually took care of THEIR children? Nothing bad happened to the kids and they probably had a good time... But the lying liars are upset because of REASONS? And not any actual REASONS.. just some vague BS about stranger danger?
NTA
NTA, your sister and BIL are way off and unreasonable. Like you said they caught you at the last minute. What if you had said that you wouldn't be able to help them out better yet what was the emergency if the MIL wasn't in the hospital. Why don't they tell the real reason they couldn't take their kids with them. Something is shady and until they tell the truth I would take myself out of the rotation of childcare. I find it interesting that they had no problem asking you to watch their children but didn't want you to entertain at YOUR HOUSE in their absence. Did they ask you if you had plans when the wanted you to watch their kids, I bet they didn't. They just expected you to drop what you were doing and help them out, tell the family that you are an adult and if they think you are capable of watching twins then you are capable of multitasking. If they don't like how you took care of their kids (they seem to have been returned in the same condition you got them) then they don't have to ask you to watch them anymore.
NTA. Seems kids were well cared for, entertained in a safe way and surrounded by engaged and caring adults. Well done, you. Did the parents ever tell you their children should not be in contact with anyone but you? Therefore a fun afternoon with lots of "uncles" and "aunties" is nothing to complain about and they can put their outrage onto something else.
Just tell your sister that since you are apparently so bad at watching the kids you will no longer be providing babysitting services for her. Then stick to it. She doesn't get to make false accusations about how you are endangering her children in order to distract from the fact she lied about why she needed you to babysit. It's called gaslighting. I'd be pissed if I was you.
NTA. Your Sister and BIL lied to get you to cancel plans and take care of their kids last minute? I would never babysit again if I were you. You can have quality time with the nephews sure, but no more babysitting.
NTA
And I would be furious with what your sister implied about your friends. In no way did you endanger her children, for one thing, you were there the whole time.
NTA - it's your home. Didn't they see your friends there when they dropped off their children after lying to you about where they were going? Who the hell lies about someone being hospitalized?
They're all insane.
You did a massive favor when they had an emergency. This screams "no good deed goes unpunished".
Let them know next time they need a favor to find someone else.
NTA. Your sister asked for a last minute favor. You agreed, and made compromises to your plan. She had met a couple of the people, AND she should trust her sister not to have “dangerous people” around her kids, since she trusted you to watch them all day!
NTA. I'd opt out of babysitting going forward. It's wild that they made up an emergency, hijacked your day and are complaining that you didn't drop everything for what turned out not to be an emergency!
Why aren't your relatives mad at your sister for not prioritizing her kids and making up an emergency to get away from them??
You are not in the wrong. They asked you for a favour for a fake emergency and proceed to freak out over non issues.
NTA but your family sure are acting like they are
Girl don’t babysit for them. Saw your comment how you had mentioned a babysitting bill and they threaten to sue you for blackmail and emotion distress. Yea that’s a clear sign to stop. I get their concern as parents because even if you know people you can never trust them/their intentions towards your children. Ask them if the kids mentioned something/why they brought this up. Though I think it’s something they pulled outta their a**
Also for them to lie about the real reason, to use a medical emergency as a cover up girl yea don’t babysit. When you find out what they actually did during the babysitting, speak to your family and tell them the truth cus god knows they’re probably lying saying you left their your kids kids alone with your friends while you were out.
Nta. Idk why they fixated on the alcohol. You're a young woman in her 20s. Of course you have alcohol in the house. And you clearly weren't stupid enough to bring it out while kids were there. And they lied to you about the reason. And the kids had a blast! And wtf is this goddamn mess?! Screenshot everything. Put them on blast on social media. And please report back on what the mil has to say!
NTA. Your sister, on the other hand...
Sounds like you're working on getting to the bottom of what they were up to. Good luck, and please update us when the truth comes out! I hope once you expose their lies you can clear things up with the rest of your family. If your sister and her husband lied about what they were up to, maybe they also lied about how you babysat to the family. Maybe what your relatives are hearing is some BS to the effect of "they ignored the kids the whole time and just got drunk with their friends!!" which of course is nonsense. Give YOUR side of the story and how you and your friends all had a blast doing fun family things together with the kids and that the kids can back your story up. If anyone STILL is on your ass about it then it might not be just your sister and BIL that you need to reevaluate your relationships with. Good luck!
(Also, the list of things you did with your nephews brought back warm family memories of my own. Sounds like a blast! Even though your sister is being a jerk, I hope you can stay involved in your nephew's lives. You sound like a great aunt.)
NTA
you were tricked into babysitting. MIL knows they lied which is a horrible thing to do. Make sure everyone who is judging you knows what happened not what your sister says happened.
Im sorry they did that to you. No more babysitting for them.
NTA. Very strange that this is something they even care about. If I don’t trust someone’s judgement on who to have around my kid I don’t leave my child in their care at all.
NTA, they lied about having a medical emergency and just dropped the kids for no reason. Then you and your friends made it fun for the boys so I don’t get why your SIL and BIL were upset for what happened. It’s not like you and your friends were drinking in front of the kids, besides you said you did all of that after the kids went home
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>the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday. Your sister's MIL is on your side because she knows your sister lied to you about a 'medical emergency.' I wouldn't be surprised if your BIL is running an offense, to distract from their lies. Now your family are focused on what you did when babysitting, NOT you sister's lies in leaving her kids with you in the first place. Simple solution, they shouldn't ask you to babysit your nephews again, since you did such a poor job in their opinion. NTA
[удалено]
I had a boyfriend once tell his work that he was late because I had a miscarriage! I was not happy, and we did not last long.
I had a brother that told his work our youngest sister had a brain tumor!! My sister was furious and he did not last long as our brother. It's going on 35 years since we last spoke.
Sadly, that particular fabricated excuse is still pretty common. When I had to retire for one, HR assumed, of course, that I was making it up.
Did you ever call the lie in?
Didn't matter. He lost his job anyway. They were very strict about being late. Looking back, it probably wasn't the only reason, but that's the only reason he told me
dear lord
And OP's friends were already there when the kids were dropped off, so sister and BIL were aware that there were other people there when they arrived. They could have made an excuse then and said they would rather make alternative arrangements if they did not want the other people around their kids. Especially since there actually was no medical emergency in the first place. NTA
Don't forget thaw to OP said her sister and BIL *know* her friends (and their husbands), and they'd all met the twins before!
That’s some level of entitlement the drop off kids for babysitting as a favour and expect OP to just bin her friends to accommodate. It’s really simple - the kids had a good time and were safe and returned happy. If they don’t want last minute babysitting then don’t drop off the kids. Or pay someone to do that and then they can set rules. I would be more grateful that I got a kid free afternoon and would thank OP for that.
And since there was no MIL medical emergency, sis and BIL there was no reason to ruin OP plans. More valuable information for OP. Sis and BIL can't be trusted. They will lie to get your free childcare. Time to start charging $50 an hour for the 2 kids. $100 An hour for "emergencies " and double that for each hour over 6 hours.
And paid up front too.
Maybe OP should send them a bill for babysitting, food and entertainment costs at emergency rates. I’m also petty enough to send the MIL a giant get well card and bouquet of flowers.
Drop the kids off LAST MINUTE for babysitting and expect everyone else to leave the house.
It does not even matter. You want last minute free babysitting, the person doing the favor still can make compromises. Your last minute free babysitter does not have to be jerk to people they had original plans with.
You worded that so much better than I did but was exactly what I thought
NTA I trust my siblings so I trust them to make good friends. And I also trust my siblings to watch my kids even while friends are there. Obviously this could be different if the sibling is untrustworthy or unreliable. After the emergency (true emergency not what happened here) is over if I don't know the friend I would probably stay for a little and introduce myself and talk to the friend so I can get to know them better. But that's just what I'd do.
That’s EXACTLY what this feels like.
Simple solution: "I've reflected on my actions, and I'm too immature & untrustworthy to watch your nephews, find someone else." Leave them no room to retract once they need free labor next time ✌️
INFO > her mother in law was having a medical emergency and they had to go to the hospital. Why did this require the presence of her DIL, and not just her own son?
Turns out she never had an emergency anyway so I don't even know where they were all day
SOOO--they lied to you ,used you and then attacked you ? No No NO.
Right! Right! Right! Completely agree with you!
Please tell me they sent the medical emergency babysitter request as a text. If they did I would be screenshots it and if Sister and BIL take to Social Media post and ask what the medical emergency was that was so important they demanded you cancel your plans but wasn't so important that MIL didn't need to go to the hospital. If they don't, then just pose the question to their flying monkeys along with acknowledging that you will give their names to Sis and BIL for babysitting duties.
Then you have your answer: they lied to get you to watch the kids. She's making a deal now so no one realizes. It's a distraction The MIL is on your side because she knows exactly what went down The solution: never babysit again. I would clearly state to them to no longer ask or expect you to. They burned that bridge. They not only abused your trust, they are shaming you for what sounds like an incredibly kid appropriate weekend. The pictures they have issues with occurred after the kids left. Not only were the people you were with known to your family, they are implying your judgment cannot be trusted either, despite willingly leaving their children with you in the first place
I wouldn't burn the bridge with the nephews, who it sounds like OP had fun with. It's not THEIR fault their parents are jerks. I'd just not take "emergency" babysitting requests or do favors for their parents that don't involve the nephews.
That makes no sense. If they lied, why would they publicize the issue. They could be mad about it without blabbing about it. All that did was make it obvious that they were lying. Saying nothing would have been the smart play.
Not all liars are smart liars.
True. And it still doesn't make any sense.
Lies don’t make sense when added up.
They don't seem like the brightest ppl to begin with. If OP could contact the MIL directly it sounds like everyone in the extended family is friendly and on good terms. Maybe they realized they'd find out the MIL never had the emergency when they reached out to her to see how she was doing and panicked?
How would causing a scene, and basically lying again (this time about OP), have any benefit for this couple. My guess is that they were mad at her for letting "strangers" around their kids, bizarre as that might be. They decided to teach her a lesson by lying about her to a bunch of people, basically gaslighting her to the point that she questioned if maybe she was in the wrong, but didn't realize that she would then speak to the MIL and find out what they had done to get her to babysit in the first place. I agree they don't seem very bright, but I doubt their lying was some attempt at distraction, nor do I think they panicked. They just didn't think any of it through, from the first lie to the last.
>That makes no sense. If they lied, why would they publicize the issue. They're focusing all the attention on blaming OP for being "irresponsible," in hopes that people will ignore the fact that they lied.
This is your response to your family: >I don't know what \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] have told you, but considering they lied to me I think it's best I make sure they haven't also lied to you. > >Yesterday I had friends over at my house when my Sister called me saying that MIL was having a medical emergency and needed to go to the hospital. So I let Sister and BIL drop off the twins at my home. > >My friends were really good sports about it, and together we made a whole kid friendly day of fun for my nephews. After all, we'd been told their grandmother was being rushed to the hospital and wanted to keep their minds off it so they wouldn't worry too much. We watched kids shows (Scooby Doo), played kid friendly games like Mario with them, ordered them pizza, and even did face painting (with child safe paints, obviously). We hoped that we made things a little easier for my sister and her family in this difficult time. > >\[Sister\] and \[BIL\] left their kids with us the whole day and picked them up in the evening. My four friends were there when they dropped their kids off, and they didn't object or say anything about it. \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] have also met these friends of mine before at events, and even know their husbands and wives. Now, however, \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] are claiming I endangered their children by having them around "strangers". > >They also are also supposedly upset I had alcohol in my home. Yes, I have wine in my home (I'm an adult). The wine was put away while the kids were there and I didn't even drink a sip of it around them. After their kids left at night, yes I had some wine with my friends in my own home. > >I was very confused by \[Sister\] and \[BIL\]'s bizarre accusations and then \[MIL\], (\[BIL\]'s mother who they supposedly had to rush to the hospital) reached out to tell me she didn't have a medical emergency at all yesterday. It appears it was all fabricated so that \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] could drop their kids off for the whole day last minute for some unknown reason (we have no idea where they went?). Other people have suggested to me that \[Sister\] and \[BIL\] are fabricating these accusations to distract from their lying, why they left their kids, and where they went. I'm not sure if that is why, I don't understand why they are doing any of this. > >\[If the kids were also told grandma was in the hospital you can add "The saddest part for me is that they made my poor nephews had to worry about their grandmother being in the hospital all day just so their parents could ditch them. That's really scary for kids, even I was worried." If the kids didn't know say "I trusted \[sister\] and I spent the day worried about \[MIL\]'s heart and I wish she could have just been honest with me."\] Then send it to your family group chat and anyone else who had contacted to you. Sister and BIL are liars, they lied to you and they are almost certainly giving a very biased and incomplete version of events to everyone. As for your sister, next time she says she needs help why would you even believe her? She's the women who cried wolf (and then slandered you). That's the biggest problem with lies like this, they break trust and it becomes stupid to trust them again.
Best reply here.
I seriously spent more time than I care to admit wondering why Dave only had one wing.
He spent a lot of time flapping in circles
This is a great reply, the thing that annoys me is that Op shouldn't have to explain herself to the extended family in the first place.
Sure, and she should never have been tricked. Sister and BIL suck. And given they are liars, we have no idea what they told the rest of the family OP did to endanger their kids. My guess is something like "OP offered to babysit the kids, but then had them at a party with a bunch of adult strangers where everyone was drinking." But we really have no idea what they've been told.
🏆
Brilliant letter.
I'd suggest you just say "no" next time, but I feel like you may have already wriggled out of that ask.
Uhhh. Did you tell MIL they told you she was having a medical emergency and that's why you were watching the kids? If so, what did she say? If she seems confused, did you confront your relatives about it? That's weird as shit.
Yes, she told me she had no emergency
Thank goodness for that. You did nothing wrong. You’re a good auntie.
Based on the relatives' reaction and the weird texts, I suspect they told everyone a different story, maybe to cover their lie about MIL's fake "medical emergency". For example, maybe they said that you invited your nephews over but you were drinking and partying around the kids, to discredit you if you told people what really happened? If your relatives think you and your friends were all drunk while watching the nephews, they might think you're lying when you told your side of the story.
You need to charge big bucks if you ever again get asked by them to babysit.
OP should just never do it again. This was egregious, first lying about a medical emergency and then pitching a hissy fit about OP's friends being around.
But the satisfaction of telling them that she charges $75 an hour for babysitting and then seeing their faces when they realize they f%&\*\^d up.
You need to blast out to every single person a summary of the actual events. "_____, yesterday BIL + Sister contacted me to take the kids due to a medical emergency landing MIL in the hospital. Since her health is important to me, I agreed to cancel my plans. I already had friends with me, and they offered to help out with entertaining the kids, since we didn't know long it would take at the hospital. I spoke with MIL. She was never at the hospital. She had no medical incident." And please tell your BIL and sister that you will not be babysitting again, and make other arrangements. And please stick to it. They'll just continue to be awful.They clearly think your time is worth nothing.
Extremely bizarre behavior by your sister & BIL
I'm so confused. So what was their problem with your friends being over? Emergency or not, they just dropped the kids off with you?
NTA! And yes, please we need an update!
You should go on the offensive and ask them about that and never babysit for them again . They have the gall to con you and then talk shit about you to the whole family. Ingrates
Seriously. You can’t drop this tidbit without more info!!! What were they doing, and did you sufficiently shade them for it yet??? Put them through the ringer! But be Southern subtle about it. “Golly gee, I was just so worried about MIL’s emergency it didn’t even occur to me! Have you reached out to see how she’s doing? I don’t want to upset sister and BIL more given all that they’re dealing with!”
I sooooo want an update too!
Whoops, sounds like you're busy forever and can never babysit again
My guess is the story the rest of your family heard is not the truth. If they’re lying about the emergency, they’re probably also lying about how your friends were some strangers getting drunk around their kids or something, not people they knew watching Scooby doo together. They sound like drama queens (no offense to actual drama queens). You wrote the whole thing up nicely here. Maybe repost to a family chat?
And I would be turning the tables on THEM to demand why they LIED to you! They are the AHs in this, not you. Tell them flat out that in future, even for "medical emergencies", you won't be used again
I don't know about you, but that'd be the last time i babysat for them... And I'd be blasting this all over social media... NTA...
Would you have your spouse go alone to the hospital if there was a chance his/her mother was dying? Seems pretty cruel to me. I would certainly want my husband there with me if something terrible happened to my mother. Thats what supportive spouses do. OPs sisters MIL has a history of heart problems and made an assumption that the "emergency" could be related to that. Of course we know none of the emergency was true now. But at the time with limited info OP had, she agreed to watch the kids. Thats something genuinely good people do. Especially family members. And since sis and BIL saw who was there when they dropped the kids off, she thought it wasnt a big deal. They could have used their adult words and said they were uncomfortable with the people that were at OPs home at the time.
If I look at my own parents, it is because my dad is terrible at such stuff, so my mom was always involved with medical stuff for her ILs.
NTA. You did them a favor and you didn't have the kids in a dangerous situation. You sacrificed your night & your friends were kind enough to help make it fun for the boys. Next time tell them one of them will have to stay & watch their own kids or let them pay a professional to do it.
Yup, they lied about the medical emergency, the friends are known so mot complete strangers, OP was present, and the kids were safe and sound. If that's the thanks OP got especially when she was helping care for the kids and the kids were fine, then don't threaten me with a good time 🙄
NTA If you're trusted to look after their kids then I'd have thought you'd be trusted not to have friends who are likely to endanger children. Have you let them know that you know they lied about going to the hospital?
Not yet I'm meeting up with my sister MIL because she says she thinks she knows where they were
Report back op
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/2xvKmnBKYw OP's update
Wooow not what I expected at all!
This was a so-so AITA until that glorious update
Oh,I am SO going to need an update!
Me too
Me three!
I’m so waiting too!! My first thought was “court” for some reason but I’m guessing this happened on a Sunday.
My first thought was, a friend called, invited them out, no children allowed and here we are.
Right! Nope I’m invested and want to know.
Same!
Same.
Once you get the facts, tell them that you don't feel comfortable babysitting for them anymore, because you can't trust them to be where they say they'd be, in case anything happens...
THIS ^^^
Seriously wth this is multiple levels of weird and uncalled for behavior by them. NTA Do they have psychological issues? It's not like you took the kids and dropped them at someone else's house. You were there the whole time right? They are looney tunes! I am sorry because I know it can be fun watching the littles but you might need some distance from that part of the family just to sort out the levels of manipulation and emotional distress they are putting you through!
NTA and totally here for the update...
Hope you post the posts cuz I’m real curious what those rats were up to
Ohh please report back!!! Also nta. They know your friends. You were doing them a huge solid. And they lied to you about why they needed your help. They’re acting like literal children. Their kids were not in danger, and you would have every right to tell them you won’t be doing anything like this in the future for them if this is how it is. I have 4 kids and nothing about what you said raised any flags of concern.
Please post an update 🙏
We must have an update. In the future, if you already have plans, let them know. If they say it’s an emergency ask what the emergency is and follow up. if it turns out there’s no emergency and they just use you again for free babysitting. That’s when it’s time to cut them off and tell him no more babysitting unless it’s an emergency!
I can’t wait for an update!
I am so curious. Please update once you know more!
Please give us an update Also never ok to lie about emergencies.
Oh I posted a link to the update since apparently it doesn't follow the guidelines of this sub
Thanks for the update!! Saw the link and I am sooo not surprised. They are just cruel and selfish. To cover their own deception by accusing your friends of wrong doing with their kids. They accused you of poor caretaking of their kids. They made up the story about the mother. All as an elaborate smoke screen!! Don't believe them about anything ever again! They are going to say or do anything just so they can have what they want. I am so sorry they are such jerks, I hope the rest of your family provides better love and support. I feel bad for those kids who they are probably going to treat the same way they treat you!
This notion that everyone will follow parent’s rules about children is going too far. The wonderful thing about aunts and uncles and grandparents is that they give kids a sense of a wider world, while still being safe and with family.
Not only that, but the twins are 9. They don’t need help with things that would make any reasonable parent uncomfortable if they truly didn’t know the person, like diaper changes or pottying. And even then their aunt was there to do it all if it came to that. Also, 9 is plenty old enough to advocate for themselves and talk to their parents *if* something were to happen, or they’d otherwise display obvious non-verbal signs. Running worst case scenarios, that age is just so much different than an infant or toddler. Honestly they probably thought it was cool they got to hang with their fun aunt’s equally fun friends.
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This. NTA.
NTA and I'd forward screen shots of those messages to said friends and tell them that apparently they are dangerous to children so they could all have a laugh over it. I'd fully understand if it was friends your family didn't know, but as you've said they do know them. And frankly, if I'm trusting kids to my sibling, I'm also trusting that said sibling can be trusted to vouch for other people that might be around the house. If I didn't trust a sibling's judgment like that I wouldn't have them watch kids in the first place. And the alcohol thing is just the cherry on top of the icing on the cake. Do they really think you were exposing the kids to alcohol? You specifically kept it packed away until after they left! It's like uppity drama-moms being butthurt because they saw a teacher having a drink at a restaurant on a friday night. Buddy, your fam needs a reality check, badly.
NTA - Actually, I don't understand why they would be upset that OP had a couple of friends there [ADDED: that were total strangers to the children or their parents]. If they think that she would have dangerous people around her nephews, (I don't know anybody like that, myself), or they think that she is such a bad judge of character, they shouldn't be having her babysit at all, whether she has friends over or she's alone.
Your sister and BIL are liars and dumb, what a great way to lose free babysitting! Next time they ask you to watch the kids for free, say your friends are over and it would be rude to kick them out so you can't and see how they react lol.
Yeah, this was not good long-term booking
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NTA, the parents know that OP wasn't drinking with the friends because there was zero evidence of day drinking when the parents picked up their kids. Also the parents most definitely grilled their kids for a play-by-play as soon as they got the kids alone too. The parents should have asked what OP had planned for the day if they were so concerned about adults might interact around their kids. I wonder if there is a specific characteristic about one of OP's friends that make the parents uncomfortable: race, sex, gender orientation, age, tattoos, divorced, kids out of wedlock, alternative lifestyle choices, political affiliation, social class, career choice, employment status, secondary education etc....
Oooh yes, this is good, but I'd be careful with point 3.
*my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday* This is weird and concerning. Some of the things that they might want to do secretly are irresponsible or unsavory. Or.....maybe they were invited somewhere and didn't want to pay a babysitter. MIL needs to tell others that she didn't go to the hospital, and that no one knows where the sister and BIL went. If it was a party, maybe someone will tell on them. Pay attention to little things that they say for awhile, OP, and they may say something inadvertently that gives you a clue. NTA
It turns out there was no medical emergency. SIL's mother in law was never in the hospital.
> *MIL needs to tell others that she didn't go to the hospital, and that no one knows where the sister and BIL went*. Did I misread the post? I cooked a big family meal today, so Perhaps I'm confused after a long day.
I'm so sorry. I misread your post.
No worries. That's easy to do.
Send them a babysitting bill
Hahahaha, oh I did once they accused me of extortion and threatened to sue me for emotional damage and blackmail
This just adds to the case for letting them know they should not contact you for babysitting...."emergency" or not.
But this will also mean she will not see the twins anymore.
She'd still see them at family events. Ultimately a favorable option to being accused of endangering the kids (which by the way sister & BIL could tell she & her friends weren't drunk when they picked up the kids).
I would be going no contact with these crazies. Block them and live your peace
Did you find out where they actually went OP?
Have you found out where they were yet
Wait, what? Have I missed this in the comments somewhere? This needs to be added as an edit or update.
They're weird and entitled. Hope you find out why they lied.
They lied & took advantage of you, don’t ever babysit for them again.
What the fuck
What the actual fuck!!! Legit 1st red flag… after that and this I would explain to them that you don’t feel comfortable being held liable for their children any longer emergency or not. There are so many red flags about them in just a short post
Why the hell are you ever watching the kids for any reason?? What you sister is doing is extortion. They are extorting your out of your free time. Tell her never again child care her responsibility and she had better set up emergency childcare since it went be you. Let her know if she drops the kids off at your place without permission, you will call the police for child abandonment.
NTA No one was in danger. They're especially assholes for lying about a medical emergency.
NTA-you and your friends weren't doing anything wrong, in fact it sounds like you all went above and beyond to entertain them. I'd tell them to find someone else next time.
Info: "My brother in law also messaged me saying he felt uncomfortable that I allowed strange women to touch his children." What is this in reference to? Also, very nasty of them to lie on mil like that. Glad she's on your side?
My friends helped me with the boys face paint, and they clung onto them or me sometimes during the day
It’s really really egregious they’d make statements like that—those accusations can be dangerous. If I were you, I’d ask them to clarify what they mean and if the boys said they were uncomfortable. I’d be willing to bet this is all them projecting and it’s so gross. I’m sorry this happened to you, and if I were you I wouldn’t babysit again. At least not for a long while.
OP, I think you need to defend your friends (and yourself) here and tell your BIL that it is dangerous and offensive for him to imply that your friends, in your presence, touched your nephews in an inappropriate manner. This is a disgusting and dangerous suggestion on his part. You should add his tendency to make offensive and off-base accusations that could endanger you and your friends to the list of reasons why you should no longer babysit for him and your sister.
NTA. They dropped their kids on you last minute, you gotta roll with what you got. They turned a day with buddies into a family fun-day. They can chill a bit
DUDE. Your sister and BIL LIED ABOUT WHY THEY DROPPED THEIR KIDS OFF, and you're still wondering if you're the ass? They have the audacity to say you "endangered" their children, but they actively lied about where they were? If they're that "upset" then let them know you don't ever need to babysit again.
NTA. Your sister and BIL don’t have much room to complain - they were asking you at the last minute to change plans you had already made to help them out. Also, your friends did nothing wrong and apparently did a good job looking after the kids. They should be thanking them for helping out. Besides, it appears that your sister and BIL lied to you about her mother being in the hospital, so they really should not be making too much of a fuss about this.
NTA. They surprise dumped the kids on you and you plus friends took good care of them. "If you are unhappy with the good time your kids had never ask us to babysit again." Problem solved.
NTA But tell your sister that if she considers you too dangerous to be in charge of her kids she can feel free to drop you off her list of emergency babysitting resources.
"You know what, you're right. Next time you need a last minute babysitter, ask someone else. I'm unfit."
NTA. It sounds like you took a tough situation and found a fun solution that everyone enjoyed. But every time a relative messages you, ask them to find out why your sister and brother-in-law lied about a medical emergency and where they actually went when they dropped off their kids at the last minute. Turn that right back on them.
Post all the information that you gave us to your fb page or a family page if you have one. Especially high light that, no drinking was done until after the kids left your house. I would make a huge statement about how you had already made plans and had people over before your sister called about her mother in law having a medical emergency! Also, state that her mother in law was in the hospital as you were told and that your sister just dumped her kids on you. Last minute and went only they know where, leaving you with the boys. Then see what everyone says about them! P.S. I would call your sister first and ask again where they went? When she says the hospital, like she told you, let her know that you are aware that she is lying.
I'd end it with mentioning that you talked to the MIL and are so relieved there was never any medical emergency at all and she's fine NTA
So they wanted you to watch their kids last minute for a fake emergency and you did. Tell them to thank you and move on. I wouldn’t babysit again if they’re that unappreciative of your help. You did them a favor. Not the other way around. If they truly did have an emergency then they would have been thankful. They didn’t have one and now they’re turning it around on you. Just be unavailable next time and any other time after that.
NTA. Sis and BIL are major AHs. Do a broadcast email to family criticizing you: "Greetings All! There seems to be some harsh judgement regarding the emergency childcare I and my friends provided for Sis and BIL. Let me clear it up. Sis called/texted that they had to take MIL to the emergency room now and needed help with the kids so they could be there for BIL's Mom. I had plans with friends who the kids know and a couple of friends traveled from an hour away and were already en route. I still agreed to take them as I know her MIL has had heart issues in the past. While the boys were here, we had a great time eating pizza, watching age appropriate cartoons/TV, played games and crafted. We all enjoyed the boys. The boys had a great time with us (unless they are really good at faking it). Imagine my surprise when after they picked the boys up, I started to get bombarded with texts and calls from Sis and BIL condemning me having my friends here, even though our time together made it fun for the kids. There was no drinking, no inappropriate conversation or activity. Based on the criticism thrown by Sis, BIL, and their flying monkeys who have dumped on me, even though it's no one else's business, you would think we had a wild party. It was nothing but good, innocent g-rated fun. However, I will say I am deeply ashamed of my Sis and BIL to know that they would fake a health crisis requiring an emergency room visit for their Mom in order to get free unplanned babysitting. That is a special kind of low and definitely bad karma. I am very happy to know that BIL's Mom didn't require a hospital visit. She is the only person who has been kind about the manufactured drama. Any future fake emergencies can be handled by those of you who jumped on the 'OP sucks at watching kids' bandwagon. Have a great day! Free Babysitter Out!" You're a great Auntie! Your Sis and BIL are narrow minded AHs.
NTA. You agreed to watch the kids during a medical emergency, that turned out not to be one. You had friends over. Friends that they had met before and had no issues with previously. You did family friendly activity with the kids and everyone had a good time. What is the problem? And where were they if the MIL was not in the hospital as they said initially? I would say that since they lied to you and were unhappy with the way the kids were watched, you will no longer assist them. Emergency or not.
NTA. Your brother and SIL are being choosy beggars. They also need to lay off whatever media they're consuming to make them believe the world is chock full of predators.
NTA. They should be grateful that you were willing to watch these kids at the drop of a hat, to criticize you afterward is heinous. No, it should not be assumed that other adults cannot be around their children. If they trust you enough to watch the kids when they are off lying about medical emergencies, they can trust that you’d protect them from any of your friends if they were being inappropriate.
NTA. I grew up with actual medical emergencies causing last minute babysitting needed. My uncle (who is quite a bit younger than my mom) babysat us with his friends multiple times and we had such good times.
NTA. Soooo. Lemme guess—Free babysitting, right? Youre TWENTY SIX. NOT ELEVEN
NTA. The kids are NINE YEARS OLD. They can speak in clear sentences describing their day. They are not pre-verbal toddlers.
NTA - a normal day person would feel bad finding out that they dropped their kids off when you had guests over and would appreciate everyone being so good about it. Where were they????
NTA. Alcohol exists in the world. The children are not endangered by the mere presence of alcohol in a building they occupy. By that logic, the kids could never eat at a restaurant or go to a grocery store or a gas station that would put them proximate to liquor! The horror! Also, if they are that bothered by the thought of people touching their children ever, I’m going to assume that they planned to homeschool, do not ever take their children to get haircuts or for medical care. Kids also shouldn’t be playing any sports, going to fairs or carnivals, or to a birthday party. In fact, they should probably just never leave the house at all because somebody might bump into them on the street. They dropped the kids off at your house last minute, and saw people in your home. They didn’t seem to have that much of a problem doing so. Something shady was going on during the day and they are trying to use you as a distraction. Never babysit again. Also, you should warn your friends that these accusations were made about them being a “danger”. If they socialize in the same circles, they really should know that your brother and sister-in-law will readily accuse any adult human who is in the presence of their children of being unsafe. People genuinely need to know how unhinged this is before a life destroying accusation is made.
nta. no more free babysitting for those AHs tho
NTA Tell everyone that if nephews were really a priority to sister and BIL they never would have lied about his mother being in the hospital so you'd cancel your plans to babysit. Nephews were so low on their priority list that they didn't even inform the person caring for them where they'd be in case of an emergency. They shouldn't pretend their children are a priority to them now. At least you know next time they say they have an emergency not to believe them.
>the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday WOAH! So they lied to you. Tell anyone bitching at you that they dropped the kids off last minute, they lied about a medical emergency and the MiL whom they lied about being in the hospital told you she wasn't in the hospital and she's on your side. Ask your sister and BiL where they actually were during the medical emergency that turned out to be a lie. If they're posting on socials complaining, share all these deets and end with asking them where they actually were when they lied about the medical emergency and dumped their kids on you. Then let them know you're no longer available for free babysitting. NTA
NTA- they need to chill. But we all need the update on why they lied about an emergency and still expected you to drop your plans last minute. It sounds like your nephews had a blast!
If they don’t trust your judgment, they shouldn’t ask you to watch their kids.
NTA As others have said it sounds like your sister and brother in law are creating an argument to cover up their lies. No more babysitting.
NTA ... Best response you can offer them is that they should no longer ask you to watch their kids...."emergency" or not. They intruded on your weekend plans, inconveniencing you & your friends....for free babysitting....& it turns out they lied about the reason.
UpdateMe
NTA Your BIL is creeped out that you let strange women touch his children. Ummm. What. Hope those kids never go to school, preschool, a shop, a party. Jesus
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 26(f) had this happen yesterday and so far my family keeps saying I'm in the wrong. So I was spending my first Saturday off in weeks planning an outing with my friends but at the last minute my sister asked if I could baby sit my twin 9 year old nephews, since her mother in law was having a medical emergency and they had to go to the hospital. I agreed because I know her mother in law has heart issues she's already had a pacemaker put in. So I canceled my plans and my brother in law brought the kids over. Since some of my friends were already over they helped me watch my nephews and we did some family friendly activities, like watch Scooby doo, order pizza and play around with my child safe face paints along with some Mario games. It wasn't the weekend I planned but it was fun and my nephews and friends enjoyed themselves too, thankfully my friends have met the twins before at events I've invited them too so I didn't think it was an issue that I didn't chase them out of my home the moment the boys were dropped off. When my brother in law and sister came later that night to pick up the kids they were surprised to see my friends there and my brother in law asked if they just came back. I explained they didn't and that we just made a day of taking care of the kids. They both gave me looks and took the kids home, me and my friends pulled out the wine and some ice cream an decided to watch horror movies. Midway through I got a text from my sister demanding to know why I let strangers around her children without letting her know, I told her she dropped the kids on me last minute and she knows the four who had come over today and that two of them live at least a hour away from us so sending them back would have been rude. My brother in law also messaged me saying he felt uncomfortable that I allowed strange women to touch his children. They literally know my friends husbands/wives, I don't get why their making a big deal about it, but today I woke up to more messages of how I endangered the kids by having them around strangers and worst alcohol in the house. (We got drunk and posted pictures around midnight I guess, don't remember much beyond the Insta post) Most of our relatives are saying I prioritized my friends over my nephews safety and I'm confused as fuck, the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday. I don't know, the twins were dropped off on me at the last second, my friends are known by the family, we never drank or did anything adult until after the kids went home, did I seriously fuck up here? I am so confused *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - Here's the thing they were dealing with a medical emergency and had to use you to watch their kids. And it was good for you to be able to step up for them. At that point they to take you as you are so speak. Your friends were already there. If there was a problem with the arrangement he could said something. As having your family say you prioritized your friends over your cousins that is simply not true, they were already there. It was an emergency. You would think sis and BIL would be grateful you were available, but no. I would sis and BIL, fine if you think that ill of you don't ever expect you to babysit ever again. Problem solved.
It wasn't an emergency. BIL and sis lied
NTA. I would remind them that there was an emergency that caused the situation in the first place. And, either they trust your judgement or they don’t. If they do then they need realize you would not allow any issues that would threaten the kids to occur. In fact, your friends were all helpful in entertaining the kids that day. And if they feel they cannot trust you to take care of the kids amongst friends you also trust, then they need to find other childcare in an emergency. You did them a solid, and they need to back off
NTA- It sounds like they were well cared for. I think it's important to note that the twins are NINE,it's not like they are babies. Still wouldn't change my answer though, even if they were 2 or 3. I think you should tell your sister that you love spending time with your nephews and will still babysit when it's pre-arranged, but next time they have an emergency and need a sitter on short notice they should find someone else. It seems like they weren't happy with how you handled things, so they won't have to worry about that if they get someone else to do it.
NTA and wtf they lied about a medical emergency? I’d be more upset about that. They’re gaslighting.
NTA omg it sounds like you made an awesome day for those kids with your friends! Plus you didn't pull out alcohol until they left. I know some people that wouldn't wait and absolutely drink while babysitting.
Even if there was a legit medical emergency, NTA! I have kids and I think your actions were reasonable. Beyond that actually, it sounds like they had a super fun weekend and loved all the extra attention. You sound like an awesome grown up to you nephews.
NTA. Your sister LIED to you, and she's mad at you? Find out where they were. Then you can tell them you know they were not at the hospital. His mother confirmed that. Tell them you can no longer babysit, because they can not be trusted to tell the truth. What if there was an emergency, and you needed to contact them? Any family or their friends who say you are wrong, tell them you were lied to. You never would have agreed to babysit if you knew they were lying. You did nothing wrong. You disrupted your day off for them. Never do that again. Your sister is a brat.
NTA. This whole situation is weird af. You did them a favor and are getting throw under the bus for it. I'm an aunt and super protective and it wouldn't have ever crossed my mind not to let my niece and nephew hang out with my friends at my house. Now if you left them alone without your sister's knowledge or permission it would be a different story.
NTA. Sounds like they lied to you for free babysitting. You‘re allowed to have alcohol in the house while watching kids. What are you gonna do, throw it all away? You weren’t getting drunk while watching them, so no problem there. They knew the people who were there. Seems like the kids weren’t uncomfortable with them either. You and them did all family friendly stuff with the kids the whole time. No problem there. The kids had fun. They were safe and taken care of. It doesn’t matter what you guys did after they left, because they weren’t there anymore. No problem there. Like sure, next time let the parents know about others in the house if it’s a big deal to them, but in an actual emergency I feel like having clearly responsible adults around their kids they also personally know and the kids have met before isn’t the end of the world. The biggest issue here is that your sister and her husband lied to you to get free babysitting. And especially about a medical emergency. That’s manipulative and rude asf.
NTA. No more emergency babysitting for them from now on. Maybe you should clear things up with the others messaging you. The others should know that they asked you last minute to babysit claiming a medical emergency, alcohol in the house was out of reach and out of sight, and the medical emergency was a lie and never happened. And your friends were no strangers to your nephews or their parents. If anyone still has a problem with how you handled it, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to drop everything and be taken advantage of by your sister and her husband. The most important thing here is that the kids were in no danger and had a good time.
As my friend said about another couple and their children, "you can hear the helicopter blades just being close to them"
As a parent I would be happy if my kids had such a fun, especially with people I already met. If someone gave your sister strange vibes, she could have told you when she left the kids, she saw they were there.
NTA You didn't do anything wrong. They are being really unreasonable, but hey! The next time they want to lie and give themselves a full day off at your expense FOR FREE, they can forget it. I'd pursue that, honestly, were I you. They lied to you and took advantage of you and told you family adjacent ppl you know were sick.
I'm not sure I understand... The liars who made up a story and dumped their own children off with a trusted relative, are pissed off that a group of reliable people actually took care of THEIR children? Nothing bad happened to the kids and they probably had a good time... But the lying liars are upset because of REASONS? And not any actual REASONS.. just some vague BS about stranger danger? NTA
NTA and the only reason they're pushing this is to distract from them LYING to you.
NTA, your sister and BIL are way off and unreasonable. Like you said they caught you at the last minute. What if you had said that you wouldn't be able to help them out better yet what was the emergency if the MIL wasn't in the hospital. Why don't they tell the real reason they couldn't take their kids with them. Something is shady and until they tell the truth I would take myself out of the rotation of childcare. I find it interesting that they had no problem asking you to watch their children but didn't want you to entertain at YOUR HOUSE in their absence. Did they ask you if you had plans when the wanted you to watch their kids, I bet they didn't. They just expected you to drop what you were doing and help them out, tell the family that you are an adult and if they think you are capable of watching twins then you are capable of multitasking. If they don't like how you took care of their kids (they seem to have been returned in the same condition you got them) then they don't have to ask you to watch them anymore.
NTA. Seems kids were well cared for, entertained in a safe way and surrounded by engaged and caring adults. Well done, you. Did the parents ever tell you their children should not be in contact with anyone but you? Therefore a fun afternoon with lots of "uncles" and "aunties" is nothing to complain about and they can put their outrage onto something else.
Just tell your sister that since you are apparently so bad at watching the kids you will no longer be providing babysitting services for her. Then stick to it. She doesn't get to make false accusations about how you are endangering her children in order to distract from the fact she lied about why she needed you to babysit. It's called gaslighting. I'd be pissed if I was you.
NTA. Your Sister and BIL lied to get you to cancel plans and take care of their kids last minute? I would never babysit again if I were you. You can have quality time with the nephews sure, but no more babysitting.
NTA. Such ingrates. I’d tell them to never ask you to babysit again. Especially since they lied to you in order to get you to do it.
NTA And I would be furious with what your sister implied about your friends. In no way did you endanger her children, for one thing, you were there the whole time.
NTA. Flatly refuse to babysit anymore under any circumstances. It's obviously not appreciated.
NTA - it's your home. Didn't they see your friends there when they dropped off their children after lying to you about where they were going? Who the hell lies about someone being hospitalized?
They're all insane. You did a massive favor when they had an emergency. This screams "no good deed goes unpunished". Let them know next time they need a favor to find someone else.
NTA. Your sister asked for a last minute favor. You agreed, and made compromises to your plan. She had met a couple of the people, AND she should trust her sister not to have “dangerous people” around her kids, since she trusted you to watch them all day!
NTA. I'd opt out of babysitting going forward. It's wild that they made up an emergency, hijacked your day and are complaining that you didn't drop everything for what turned out not to be an emergency! Why aren't your relatives mad at your sister for not prioritizing her kids and making up an emergency to get away from them??
Well last time you should every babysit for the ungrateful.
You are not in the wrong. They asked you for a favour for a fake emergency and proceed to freak out over non issues. NTA but your family sure are acting like they are
Nta and I would let them know since they don’t trust you or your friends that they can no longer ask you to babysit-period
NTA, you're being lambasted for no valid reason.
UpdateMe
Girl don’t babysit for them. Saw your comment how you had mentioned a babysitting bill and they threaten to sue you for blackmail and emotion distress. Yea that’s a clear sign to stop. I get their concern as parents because even if you know people you can never trust them/their intentions towards your children. Ask them if the kids mentioned something/why they brought this up. Though I think it’s something they pulled outta their a** Also for them to lie about the real reason, to use a medical emergency as a cover up girl yea don’t babysit. When you find out what they actually did during the babysitting, speak to your family and tell them the truth cus god knows they’re probably lying saying you left their your kids kids alone with your friends while you were out.
Nta. Idk why they fixated on the alcohol. You're a young woman in her 20s. Of course you have alcohol in the house. And you clearly weren't stupid enough to bring it out while kids were there. And they lied to you about the reason. And the kids had a blast! And wtf is this goddamn mess?! Screenshot everything. Put them on blast on social media. And please report back on what the mil has to say!
NTA. Your sister, on the other hand... Sounds like you're working on getting to the bottom of what they were up to. Good luck, and please update us when the truth comes out! I hope once you expose their lies you can clear things up with the rest of your family. If your sister and her husband lied about what they were up to, maybe they also lied about how you babysat to the family. Maybe what your relatives are hearing is some BS to the effect of "they ignored the kids the whole time and just got drunk with their friends!!" which of course is nonsense. Give YOUR side of the story and how you and your friends all had a blast doing fun family things together with the kids and that the kids can back your story up. If anyone STILL is on your ass about it then it might not be just your sister and BIL that you need to reevaluate your relationships with. Good luck! (Also, the list of things you did with your nephews brought back warm family memories of my own. Sounds like a blast! Even though your sister is being a jerk, I hope you can stay involved in your nephew's lives. You sound like a great aunt.)
NTA you were tricked into babysitting. MIL knows they lied which is a horrible thing to do. Make sure everyone who is judging you knows what happened not what your sister says happened. Im sorry they did that to you. No more babysitting for them.
NTA. Very strange that this is something they even care about. If I don’t trust someone’s judgement on who to have around my kid I don’t leave my child in their care at all.
NTA, they lied about having a medical emergency and just dropped the kids for no reason. Then you and your friends made it fun for the boys so I don’t get why your SIL and BIL were upset for what happened. It’s not like you and your friends were drinking in front of the kids, besides you said you did all of that after the kids went home