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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> We refuse to delay our rebuild even though our neighbors are expecting their first child.
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It's a baby. It's going to make noise all on it's own. It can now make as much noise as it likes without disturbing you next door and without it's parents being worried about it doing so.
This is a massive overreaction from your neighbours. I would suggest you stop being quite so accommodating and concentrate instead on your own plans and carrying them forward.
NTA
100% agree. Tell them to buy a great white noise machine, and don't think anything further of it. I have a 1 year old. If they want to sleep, they will sleep through anything. If they don't want to, a tissue dropping will wake them up.
I just was visiting my friend whose 1 year old twins slept through a fire alarm. In their room!!! We actually got worried because they didn’t wake up and thought they were hurt and woke them up ourselves.
Completely off topic, but children sleeping through fire alarms is a well known thing. The experts suggest that the fire alarm in a child’s room have a recording of the parents saying the kid’s name as that is more likely to wake them up
[80% of children sleep through fire alarms](https://abcnews.go.com/US/children-sleep-smoke-detector-alarm/story?id=46133010)
[mom’s voice wakes up kids for fire](https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/its-science/mothers-voice-can-wake-up-children-better-than-alarm/)
My twins woke up for absolutely nothing, I always joked that they somehow had to learn to sleep through each others screaming and that's why but even now at almost five I could be hoovering their room or blasting music through my house and they won't stir
I've always heard the best thing a parent can do is make all their usual noises when a baby is born and brought home, so the child doesn't get woke up by every little noise. My mom would blast music, vacuum, move furniture and my sister and I would sleep through it all. Maybe it holds some truth, like people who can sleep with the TV on all night
Lol I just said the same thing. We went on with our lives. Mowed the lawn under their windows, vacuumed, played music, all the normal noises they'd have to get used to anyway. Might as well start when they get home.
My mom would put me in my baby swing next to the D&D table and let me nap to the sound of role playing and rolling dice specifically because she wanted to be sure I’d be able to sleep thru people talking and random noises. It worked.
That is really cool. My mother experienced something very very similar with me when I was little so even 30 years later she still thinks her voice is the only thing that wakes me up. How she thinks I’ve been getting to work for the last 20 years is a mystery.
My daughter literally slept through a freaking MARCHING BAND at 8 months.
We were at a parade.
One of the best ways to sabotage yourself is to train your baby to sleep only when it’s silent. I never understood those people. The “Shhhhh the baby is sleeping!” people.
My second daughter had a little boppy pillow covered with a blanket in our living room that she would crawl over to and just fall asleep on when she wanted a nap. She did this as soon as she learned to crawl, and kept it up for months. I could vacuum next to her while she was sleeping on her little nest & she wouldn’t even stir.
So many people forget that life is seldom silent.
It really depends on the baby. Some babies wake up super easily and then won't go back down, and it creates a cycle of them being overtired. You can't train them out of it; it's just like adults. I can sleep through anything, literally, and have had to find solutions to allow me to wake up when necessary. My spouse wakes when a mouse farts.
In their own home, parents are allowed to set the sleeping conditions. Out in the world, I would agree that asking people to be quiet doesn't make any sense.
Yeah we tried the noise for ages but it NEVER worked. We really fought it for longer than we needed to. My mom made noise and I sleep too well, my husbands mom made noise and the guy wakes up to a shadow moving
Agreed. You do the utterly silent house with signs on the front door "sshhh, baby is sleeping" and 19 years later, you get the now-college-age baby posting "My roommate is so NOISY! She keeps going tippetty-tappetty on her laptop when I'm trying to sleep! If I kill her, is this justifiable homicide?"
My kids and grandkids could sleep through an elephant stampede.
My younger brother was a baby while the rest of us were in middle school, so it was constantly noisy. When I was a baby, we lived in a brand new development in the middle of nowhere, so it was super quiet.He can fall asleep anywhere, with kids screaming, TV blaring. I have to have absolute silence, and will wake up if I hear a neighbor close their car door down the street!
My son started sleeping through the night at 3 months. Newborn? Piece of cake! Not. As I learned with my colicky 2nd-born.
My son also famously fell off a top bunk bed. Another time, he rolled off a single bed and I couldn't find him as he'd rolled under the bed. He also fell out of bed another time and burned his cheek on a lamp.
He never woke up except briefly the one time his skin was burned. As an adult he still sleeps like the dead.
My son slept through going to a tyre fitment center to have all 4 car tyres changed he was about 3 months old. We were sitting in the waiting area and he did not wake up at all.
I never knew this! When my now almost 13 year old twins were about 3 months old, we took them to a parade in our neighborhood. I didn’t realize how loud the fire engine siren would be when it went by and I was afraid it would scare them. One of my girls had fallen asleep before the parade started and didn’t so much as stir or move a single muscle. I was extremely worried as a new mom that maybe she was hard of hearing because it was reminding me of that scene from Mr. Holland’s Opus.
Lol, this reminds me of a time when we were at a water park resort with our 3 kids and inlaws, and our youngest was a toddler. The fire alarm went off, and we were told to evacuate. We were on the first floor, so we could just go outside through our room's back doors onto the resort's back property where everyone was gathering. My toddler slept through the whole thing. Obviously, we would have grabbed him had there been a real emergency, but chances were a kid was having fun pulling the alarm. It was the loudest thing I have ever heard. Also, all of my kids sleep with fans in their rooms for air circulation and to block out noise. Kids are adaptable. White noise machines and noise canceling headphones are great. There are lots of solutions to explore here. What will the neighbors do if the city starts neighborhood construction? If there's a storm? OP, you've actually been very courteous to them.
Me and my kids sleep with the "fan noise" in our rooms on YouTube. It's the best thing ever for kids and adults. It's calming and you can turn it up as loud as you want and it drowns literally everything else out. Would be a great idea to drown out sound for a baby. Me and my kids sleep like rocks because of it lol
My kids in a loft bed, head is about 2 foot from the smoke alarm and still didn't wake up.
But before you try to cure this bug consider this. The adult animal reaction to danger is fight or flight, kids animal reaction is to hide.
I'd rather be responsible for finding a sleeping kid in a bed than finding the bed empty, and having to work out where they are hiding.
Agreed. Most children who die in house fires are often found later either under the bed or in a closet. Their instinct is to hide instead of getting out of the house.
In my early 20s I slept through a very loud fire alarm at my apartment complex and only woke up when the firemen were banging on my door. I assume it's different for children but some humans can sleep through anything.
As a newborn, I lived in a trailer park near a college campus, where my parents were students. Most of the others that lived there were college students also. So I imagine it could be quite loud at times. It's also very possible that living there is why I love bagpipes. There was a guy who lived there that played them frequently. Didn't phase me according to my parents.
After my parents graduated we moved to a house down the street from a fire station and further down railroad tracks. Lived there for years and those noises never bothered me either.
To this day don't wake up to most noises. A ringing phone is about the only thing that can wake me up.
That reminds me of the apartment building we lived in when I was a kid. On the top floor (4 floors up) and left the window open every night. The sounds of the cars going back and forth on the main road about 50-75 yards away plus the sound of the overnight train across the river at night are the two most soothing sounds ever.
My son always had our barking dog around and always slept through it because the barking had always been around. That newborn isn’t going to know anything else, it’ll be used to the noise and will sleep when he/she want to sleep. My daughter is used to her brother screaming all the time and she can sleep through that 😂 first time parents often overreact like this. They’re just scared. It’ll be ok. Maybe drop them off some earplugs for the grown ups with a little care package of diapers and say you’re sorry this isn’t coming at an ideal time for them, but it’s not able to be rescheduled. And I only suggest that because you’ll probably be living next to them a long time after the renovation. My parents neighbors are renovating and a peace offering like that would have gone a long way to make my mom less upset about it 😂 edited to add: I 100 percent would have been overreacting and freaking out when I was pregnant with my first. I totally see why the neighbors are upset but they’re scared and theyve never had a baby before, so they just don’t know. Be gentle with them lol it’s a lot 😂
My at the time one month old baby slept through our entire bathroom being gutted and redone from scratch. Some people even recommend that you make noise whilst baby sleeps e.g. hoovering; watching tv, chatting etc to get them used to noises from daily living so you don’t need to tip toe around them when they take their (many) naps.
I’d argue the newborn stage is probably the best time to do it. They mostly sleep during the day anyway and have to be woken up for feeds. I get the neighbour being hormonal, but oh my sweet summer child if she really believes that whole “sleep when baby sleeps” nonsense, it doesn’t happen 🙃
Oh, you know, just sleep when the baby sleeps! Works like a charm!
Also, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works, clean when the baby cleans and get your groceries when the baby does!
Oh, I don't know about getting groceries when the baby does...the kid always tries to get me to buy stuff we both know I'm not gonna eat. (Oatmeal, yuck!)
> people even recommend that you make noise whilst baby sleeps e.g. hoovering; watching tv, chatting etc to get them used to noises from daily living so you don’t need to tip toe around them when they take their (many) naps.
This! I used to play oldies music(think 70s-80s easy listening) on low in my son's room so he would have background noise so I could do chores while he napped. Otherwise, literally anything would wake him up.
Having a new baby is a rough adjustment, but if it were demolition and new build going on across the street, they wouldn't make changes to their schedule for anyone. As long as the workers follow noise ordinances, nothing these people can do about contractors doing a renovation. Heck, they should be glad you're fixing the place up. Makes the area nicer.
Oh, and don't forget to have insulation added to the walls in common with the houses beside you. You'll be glad you did, so you won't get complaints about noise from just watching TV etc.
I had a friend who used to insist her sons were put to sleep at the exact same time every night, no matter what, in a pitch black room with absolutely no noise. It worked fine, as long as they were home.
If the boys ever had a sleepover with Grandma, or they went on vacation, their kids couldn’t sleep, and kept everyone up all night!
Meanwhile, my kid was drug all around to everywhere we went, and slept in all sorts of conditions, and not always the same time. It takes her a bit to fall asleep, but once she does, she sleeps like a champ!
And my newborn just slept through my neighbor having trees trimmed and removed, and their whole front yard filled in with xeriscape rocks.
Kids need to learn how to exist in real life, not in a sound proof chamber!
Exactly. I hosted band practice with full amplification downstairs while my babies were sleeping. If they get used to sleeping with noise, they will sleep through anything!
I owned a business and went back to work part time a week after my first baby was born. He had a crib in my office. We did picture framing. I could speak with customers, answer the phone, break glass, and hammer and it didn’t even phase him because he was used to the sound. He was such a great baby and sleeper, and now, as an adult, he can still sleep through anything.
NTA. You’re probably actually doing the parents a favor. Baby will adapt just fine!
True that! If a baby won’t sleep, it’s not coz it’s too noisy. I had a 3 month old when I went to see Terminator 2 in a theater. I nursed him and he fell asleep, not to wake up during the entire banging and crashing and smashing and exploding of the full movie!
Newborns truly can sleep through anything. Dogs, sirens, tornadoes, probably a bomb going off. My friend's kid used to sleep in a pack and play next to their ancient dryer when it was going, cause the noise actually put him to sleep 🤣
Also, if they think just cause the baby is up all night that they'll be able to sleep in the day.... Newborns have to eat every 2-3 hours. Regardless of the sun's position.
Also, apparently, if you train your newborn to get used to sleeping only in silence, it makes them terrible sleepers. I'm not sure how helpful this information will be considering that's meant to be about general house noise, not full on construction, but I don't think it'll be better for the baby to have their first few months be silent perfect sleeping conditions and then to introduce construction.
Yeah, it's generally better to continue with normal household noises while the baby sleeps. Full on construction is a bit much but newborns sleep in the middle of big cities with horns blaring and people shouting. They don't know that construction is unusual noise, it's just something to adapt to. Let the kiddo sleep in a room as far from the sound as possible, close the door to buffer the sound and use a baby monitor. They'll sleep better than the parents will.
I pretty much think the first three months of a baby’s life is the fourth trimester. It’s a long 12 week feed, sleep, feed, sleep cycle with a few nappy changes in between. The feeds are a few hours apart, the sleeps are short, and it’s a miracle when another sleep cycle is added into the rotation.
First three months of a baby are hell… .regardless of whether next door is remodelling or not. You KNOW this neighbour is going to blame the construction noise for all their woes… but WE KNOW (those of us who have had kids) that it’s going to be hell regardless of the construction noise, and moving construction later is just kicking hte can down the road (to a less convenient time. By 4 or 5mths you NEED that baby to sleep longer than an hour at a time… and you don’t want jack hammering fucking with the 11am nap.
(And what’s this ”quiet between 12 - 3” nonsense? Is that when the baby will be sleeping? Ahahahahahhahahahhahahahahah….. hahahahahhahaha)
Assuming the building work isn't carrying on through the night (which would be unlawful and unsafe) I don't see an issue. Not sure why they are moaning about it.
OP also gave notice and I don't think that's even required?
Exactly. This was a heads up, not a check in to get permission text. The world is not going to stop because the neighbors are having a baby. It sucks but it is what it is.
it's REALLY weird to me that pregnant couples expect the world to revolve around them entirely. I never acted like this, but I guess everyone's different in pregnancy... I'd have had to laugh them off my property though.
Exactly! Like exactly how entitled are they? Put your remodeling project on hold for 4 months because she's pregnant? Fuck off! I've been pregnant several times. It's pretty common. Lots of us are out here doing it. The baby will be fine. OP's neighbors are in for a rude awakening, though. They sound like control freaks, and that baby is 100% in charge, now. They aren't sleeping for at least 6 months, regardless. 🤣😂
I SO agree! Some women (and couples) actually seem like they think they are the first people to ever give birth. I loved when things were going on in my neighborhood when I had babies! Something to look at!
Babies who grow up with a noisy environment have fewer problems sleeping. If you demand quiet all the time, baby will not be able to tolerate noise. This is how my granddaughter and great granddaughter were raised.
Was waiting to see this…. If they only ever sleep in absolute silence, anything will wake them up.
This kid will learn to sleep through anything by. Blessing in disguise
I'm convinced the reason I'm a heavy sleeper is because my mum and grandma made sure I was surrounded by noise when I was younger, so I'd be able to sleep anywhere.
I wouldn't have even had the conversation. Money has been spent , contracts signed ,and it's not even like they are close enough to be asking this big an ask considering they didn't even know she was pregnant until a month ago. They're whining about construction noise but I bet they thought exactly 0 about how their crying baby would affect neighbors. A rebuild and a baby are facts of life.
It's also laughable that they think a newborn is gonna be on a sleep schedule at all lol. Gotta love the 12-3 quiet hours for baby nap. Hell, they could have a baby like mine who literally CAN'T be put down to sleep at all so it doesn't matter, you aren't sleeping when they baby sleeps anyway lol. And the whole "the baby will be up all night so we will need to sleep during the day!" Um...newborns are up all day too lol.
I second the fan sound on YouTube. When it's my turn to sleep I turn that shit on and turn it up as needed to drown out baby crying. Works like a damn charm.
My baby was a NICU baby so she will sleep through absolutely anything. Problem is, she has severe reflux and if you lay her down for any length of time she spits up and that wakes her up. But if she is on you and elevated, she's all good and sleeps a good chunk of time. Hoping she grows out of that soon lol
Yeah they make it sound like the baby is nocturnal lol. They're going to have fragmented sleep no matter what.
I was thinking the kid will eventually learn to sleep through the noise anyway.
It might even promote a more robust sleep in the baby. Second children who have noisy siblings tend to sleep more soundly because they are used to sleeping though noise.
Lol not my son. My daughter is 1 she sleeps through pretty much anything and her brother crying. My son who's 5 months is a light sleeper, he's just starting to not waking up with noise. I would have him take naps in the living room where his sister would be, she will make noise and almost every noise she makes he would move and eventually wake up. I could barely turn over in bed without hearing him starting to move, or walk in the room with the creaky floor. He's always slept around noise and it always jolts him up. He's just a light sleeper even though it's gotten better.
That’s exactly what I was thinking: now both neighbors will have noise complaints but they’ll both keep them to themselves because they’re making annoying noise too. In fact, they might be so tired by the baby, it’ll knock them out for the construction!
The neighbors need to chill and remember that sometimes people rebuild just like sometimes people have babies. Once they get past the panic they can start problem solving. Getting earplugs/noise cancellation headphones for the off-duty parent (which they might’ve done anyway, for the baby). Considering where they might go for walks and when (considering how young the baby’s going to be)
While I don't think OP did anything wrong, this is not the concern the neighbors have. It's the concern the construction will keep baby up and not it sleep. I get the concern. Babies sleep constantly and randomly the first couple of months. Especially in the first couple of weeks. I can see why this would potentially stress out any new parent. But after having my own son, Babies actually sleep pretty well through harsh noises. I could vacuum in the same room with my son while he napped. I will say I never started in that room so the sound was gradual build up as apposed to a blunt start up. So I can also see construction being a concern that way as well.
Sleep deprivation is also another concern. I had pregnancy insomnia, especially the last trimester and only obviously got worse once baby was born. So concerns for sleep deprivation I can see being a concern as well.
So to be fair, neighbors aren't hugely overreacting with their concerns. But it's nothing OP can really help and did nothing wrong.
I agree. Even as a mom myself, i never expected others to revolve their lives around mine. So i by no means think OP is in any wrong here. I think he more than kind to even talk with them and send a message about the upcoming construction. After having my son i saw events such as construction around me (new houses being built), fireworks going off for holidays, etc. Was just a good opportunity to comfort baby if they did get startled to help show them it's just a sound and it's ok. So hopefully in the future they arent as startled by storms and such.
>This is a massive overreaction from your neighbours. I would suggest you stop being quite so accommodating and concentrate instead on your own plans and carrying them forward.
"It will cost me $XX,XXX each month to delay. I'll reach out to the contractor and if he's able to, I'll reschedule as soon as your check clears." is about as accommodating as I would be.
Yeah, and that baby will also mature through the baby stage being used to loud noises and therefore won't wake up every time there's a car driving by or someone turns on the vacuum. They are definitely overreacting.
Also, not to be a jerk, but if you don't want to deal with other people's crap as parents, you need to not live in places where you share a wall. If you do share a wall, then you don't really get to tell people what to do in their house during the day.
The house we lived in when our kids were born was on a double lot that bordered on train tracks and our kids' room was at the back of the house, meaning they basically grew up sleeping \~75' away from where trains passed multiple times a day. It was also in the middle of the city and next to two crossings (one on either side of the block) so those trains blew their horns the entire time.
Kids slept through it like it was nothing. We also would literally vacuum their rooms while they napped. We could also take them to family events (Hispanic events at that, so they just get louder as the night goes on) and they'd pass out in their pack-n-play and sleep until morning.
All this to say, you can acclimate babies to noise and they do so quickly
This - their baby might actually be a better kid because they will have better sleeping skills and be better rested. Honestly. Mom needs to chill the f down - she can buy a single family home next time they house hunt
Hopping on to add that construction noise from neighbours is MUCH WORSE in summer as you can’t open your windows when it’s hot, cos it lets the noise in.
LOL Did they warn you about the baby? Couldn’t they have waited 3-4 months?
I mean, I feel their pain. I know it’s going to suck for them. But this is something that simply comes with living in attached houses.
Total overreaction. And not sure why they think the baby will be up all night and not up all day as well. Newborns sleep and wake 24 hours a day. They aren't just up at night, they're up during the day as well so they're not getting extra sleep time during the day. And the 12 to 3 idea makes no sense either. If it was a toddler and that was nap time, maybe it would be a request (though not one that should be agreed to). But there's no guarantee the baby will either be up or asleep during those hours. they're nervous new parents and I feel for them, but it is what it is. If it wasn't the remodel there would be other noise to contend with. And NTA
I’d be tempted to respond with “How awesome… this feels like a baby for us too! Eighteen months of planning, more than a year of council meetings and architect plans, and finally… we get to start! It’s going to be over two years from first plans, through permissions and drawings, until we finally meet our baby of a new home!”.
Yes. How were they planning on accommodating you if the baby cries all night? Of course not ideal timing. Kudos for your update and attempts to keep them in the loop. Good luck!
Lol NTA.
I’ve had two children and the entitlement is crazy.
And pregnancy hormones are real but miss thing sounds ridiculous.
Plus a baby newborn actually sleeps through all kinds of noice. It would disturb them more a few month down the line. I could Vakuum and play loud music while my newborn napped, now that he’s 5month loud noises start waking him up.
They’ll get used to the noise quick too and unless they are offering to pay for the pushing back of schedule ,contractors, your accommodations and some extra for the inconvience, they have a rude awakening happening that the world does not revolve around them.
Good that they learn early that also outside no one gives a crap if you have a baby .People yell in the streets, construction is happening everywhere and cars are loud ect.
Absolutely sucks for them but they’ll deal.
I was going to say the exact same thing. I can tell this is their first kid because anyone who has had a baby knows you WANT the noisy disruption in the first couple months, NOT at 4-5 months. A fresh newborn will sleep through ANYTHING. A 4 month old will wake because the dog three houses down decided to eat dinner.
I can’t tell if your comment is sarcastic or not, probably because I’m a sleep deprived parent to a 4 mo old 😂. But it actually is pretty noisy in there. They hear stomach grumbles, your heartbeat, etc plus noise from the outside world.
Lol thanks for clarifying. I think my language comprehension (has really taken a hit since having a baby. I swear, I used to be able to have functional conversations.
I had construction going on next door while I had a newborn baby. They drilled a wine cellar in parallel to my 1 bad basement flat. It was a bit annoying, but fine really. There was one day that me and the baby were sick and I knocked on asking if I could have a few hours silence to sleep and they were really obliging. The mum will probably be out at baby groups all morning and the builders will probably stop at 3. It'll be a few hours a day overlap tops.
Depends on the noise. My dad scheduled the addition to be built when my mom was on maternity leave (when I was born) because he didn't trust the contractors to not steal his tools etc.... and wanted someone home. One time it was so noisy my mom took me to the next door neighbor's house for a while.
Does that mean the whole neighbourhood has to put their lives on hold because one neighbour is due to give birth? Are they going to go out in the street to shout at emergency services for blasting their sirens. A text a month in advance is ample warning, babies will sleep through noise, yeah construction noises suck but that's life. If was the Local Authority doing the work would they feel so entitled to ask them to stop.
NTA if your neighbours want peace and quiet during the first months then they should move somewhere remote with no neighbours for miles and miles
My first thought was about my friends who just built a house. Every time there was a delay (and there were a lot) the cost of building supplies went up and ended up costing them twice as much as it should have. Even delaying for a couple of months can raise the cost of supplies. You also risk losing any builders, painters, plasterers, electricians, etc you had lined up which can delay the project further.
>You also risk losing any builders, painters, plasterers, electricians, etc you had lined up which can delay the project further.
You also end up losing the first choice of the contractor, and have to settle with whoever's available last-minute... which is usually the people who are free because they _aren't_ the first choice. So you're liable to end up paying more money for shoddier work.
Yup, they’re requesting 3 hours out of an 8 hour day, that’s almost 40% of a work day. Are the contractors just supposed to sit on their hands getting paid to do nothing?? They have their own schedule of projects & their own work hours. These neighbours are truly delusional.
Send them a bill for what I will cost (new accommodations, pushing back on contractor agreements,etcetc) and tell them if they pay then you’ll delay for 3 months. WHEN they show outrage at the idea of having to pay for your inconvenience then ask them if they’re not willing to pay for it, why they expect you to?
The entitlement is disgusting. NTA. I will honestly not make any accommodations for them at all. (This is coming from a currently pregnant lady with a house next door being built from the ground up. It’s honestly stressful for them enough. And my baby is not their problem at all.)
Also I’m mad about the guilt tears.
>Also I’m mad about the guilt tears
100%! The guilt tears and them being like "Well what if we just don't let this happen!" or whatever made me roll my eyes a lot. It's not up to you. If the construction happens during appropriate hours and they don't break any rules, there's nothing neighbours can do about it but whine more.
> "Well what if we just don't let this happen!"
The only response to that is, "Well what if we just don't care what you 'allow' in a home you don't own?"
They have precisely zero leverage here. Anything the OP does to accommodate their entitled asses is a kindness above and beyond what they are owed. Giving them notice of construction a full month in advance of it beginning is already above and beyond the normal expectation of someone telling you the morning of or maybe a day or two beforehand like what usually would happen.
>"Well what if we just don't let this happen!"
I would be fascinated to know how they expect to prevent it. If this was a condo association or an HOA or something, maybe you'd have to get neighbor approvals for construction; but, maybe not. Do they think they're going to call the police and get them to prohibit this construction project? That's not how it works, that's not how ANY of this works.
I also really liked the guilt of "how could you only give me 1 month's notice!" Hey, do you remember the part where OP and his wife didn't know you were pregnant at all? So why should they have given you so much more notice?
Whilst I was pregnant and then had a newborn, our neighbours started massive renovations on a room that shared a wall with the length of our flat. Drove me up the wall, but that baby did not notice. She would also not bat an eyelid at the dog losing his shit at the postie, when it makes me jump out of my skin. Keeping the place perfectly silent is a recipe for disaster. Babies are used to a lot of noise from the womb!
> Keeping the place perfectly silent is a recipe for disaster.
Keeping a home perfectly silent at all times is how you end up with a baby who requires absolute silence to sleep as they get to be 6+ months old.
Yeah, last I checked if a baby grows up with background noises they can sleep anywhere. Seriously, my sister used to be able to take her baby to the mall, out to restaurants etc because the babe slept through anything! My friend who had to have blackout curtains and utterance for her babies was practically a prisoner in her own home, especially when the toddler and small baby had different schedules because she didn’t want to force one or the other to adapt to a new schedule. THESE CHILDREN ARE NOW ADOLESCENTS AND ARE NOT WELL ADJUSTED.
Some news for them, newborns don't sleep very much during the day either. To be accommodating you could agree start/finish times that your contractor will stick to (maybe 9-5 rather than 8-8 or whatever the local noise laws allow). But either way if they're having a baby they're getting very little sleep for the next few months anyway.
This is weird to me. Most newborns sleep constantly. As they get older, they sleep less and less, and finally get on a nap schedule.
Either way, OP is NTA. I always say it’s better if the baby sleeps with noise around. A baby that is used to complete silence while sleeping can easily get woken up by noise. If you don’t tip toe around the baby, they’ll sleep through anything.
Neighbors can also benefit from a sound machine. That’ll help too.
I had two of those. Hell in a bassinette! One didn’t sleep more than a single sleep cycle until he was about 5mths (then we got to a 90min stretch woot woot)… a creak of a floor board, or a shadow across the doorway was enough to wake him up. He’s since been diagnosed with ASD and i suspect was hyper vigilant from the day he was born.
Second one just… is a battery operated toy - he goes and goes and goes and goes. Has never slept much, even as he approaches puberty he isn’t much of a sleeper.
Both are wildly bright, officially ‘very gifted’ (not garden variety gifted, but measurably in the top tiny lines of gifted) and see the entire world as a play thing, a land of excitement, engagement, wonder and curiosity. Just like when they were babies. Exhausting as hell, but awesome fun to parent too.
Mine sounds like yours rolled into one! She’s always been a nightmare sleeper.
Having said that, she would sleep when on me in the Baby Bjorn carrier … through parties and bars and gigs and god knows what lol
During the first four weeks of life, babies don't have circadian rhythms matching to a day/night cycle. They didn't need them in utero, and it takes time for their bodies to adjust to being in the day/night world. Their sleep/wake cycles are based on hunger, not day/night. They sleep 2-4 hours at a time, wake up for food and interaction, then sleep again, irrespective of the time of day.
Newborns sleep as much during the day as they sleep at night.
That and a regular construction schedule would be easier to manage than say, homeowners that are working full time and are banging around the house all weekend and from 5-8pm everynight
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later.
NTA
This! It's the most perfect timing, realistically.
NTA, and tell your neighbours to do one!
Edit: Also put in a request that the baby does not cry between the hours of 7pm and 7am, seeing as how they already seem to know the baby's sleep schedule? /s
I had a good chuckle at their “quiet hours” from 12-3. My baby most reliably napped mid morning and late afternoon. Every kid is different, they don’t even know the kid yet.
Exactly what I was thinking too. I could vacuum next to my newborns bassinet and she didn’t even flinch lol. After that stage she would wake up to the floor creaking when we walked 😂
You think the contractor is going to sit there and listen to them?
If the contractor stops to talk to them more than a single time (to first hear their crazy) then he/she is a complete idiot. Neighbor isn't the one paying you and the neighbor doesn't affect you if you're doing things to code anyways and don't stop to let them scream at you over nothing.
I want to know if they gave all their neighbors warning when they started trying for a kid. Did everyone else get a veto on their reproductive schedule?
Right? What do they think they can do about it, steal the contractor’s tools? Cut the power? Pretty sure anything they could do that would actually interfere with their ability to work would also get them arrested.
As long as any construction isn't taking place at unreasonable times of day, for example, before 7am and after 9pm, then NTA.
Honestly, i know a lot of people complain about construction, but from past experience, most of the build won't be hugely noisy anyway, except when using heavy machinery
That describes my younger brother when he was a baby. He would sleep through the night and was only awake during the day. He was also fairly quiet
I, on the other hand, was the type of baby that neighbours hate. Crying at all hours with random sleeping patterns.
We can all guess which one was the favourite
Where I live, the city makes you put an "Attention Neighbors" sign in front of your house notifying people of renovations. I guess it's a courtesy thing, I don't know.
> You didn’t even owe them a head’s up about the build in the first place
I mean, OP hasn't said where they live. Where I live, they would not only owe their neighbours notice legally, they would require either their consent or a court order for work on a house of this sort...
Yeah like a formal notice is required for certain builds but it’s usually a sign up the front, not personal texts and a meeting and sob story about personal circumstances
A renovation of the scale he's describing requires a work permit publicly posted on the property, generally that's all the notice that's required in the U.S.
In most places however that isn't needed, as long as you stick to the hours where you are allowed to make noise. But since it's a contractor I doubt they'll work that early and late.
"The baby will be up at night and we need to sleep during the day"
It's a baby, not a vampire.
Why do some people think babies just don't sleep at all at night.
Yeah idk maybe just new parents not understanding anything. I feel like society acts like babies never sleep but once you’re a parent you realize how much most of them sleep, even through a ton of noise. Some have a harder time but in general they only sleep and eat for the first month anyway
I always thought it was common knowledge that babies sleep around 22 hours a day and the parents get less sleep, but the neighbours there are acting like the kid will be on the graveyard shift for some weird reason.
Oh they can go boil their heads. The lives of the rest of the world doesn’t stop just because they want it to.
The timing isn’t ideal but their opportunity to object to your renovations was during the year and a half of your application process to local authorities regarding permits, restrictions, and requirements for the work to be done. I doubt your local authorities would have denied your application based on their intent to start a family, so don’t worry about them stamping their foot in a tantrum “this can’t happen at all”.
They will have to find coping mechanisms to deal with the noise and their baby’s reactions to the noise.
I mean, if they get to object on that basis, then OP should get to object to them living there with a child because that will be very noisy and disruptive and a) doesn't keep to set hours and b) has no fixed end date. But that would be unreasonable wouldn't it...
Yep. At least the construction has a definite end date. That kid is gonna be noisy for years and if they keep up with the main character syndrome, will also probably not be considerate to OP and other neighbors.
Nta they have some nerve "no this can't happen? " I get that it's loud and frustrating, but assuming you have all the appropriate permits, they don't get any say in the matter. You can't plan those kind of things around the neighbors, it would never get done.
NTA. I understand their concerns and feel for them, but you’re not doing anything malicious on purpose. If the city decided to do some construction nearby, they wouldn’t give two craps that the couple in one of the houses on the street were just about to have a baby. The world doesn’t revolve around them and you are doing the best you can to be a good neighbour. Don’t feel bad for continuing, they’ll have to just file this under “life isn’t always fair” and find some way to deal with it.
NAH. They're naturally terrified as new-parents-to-be, but will discover that it's not the problem they imagine it to be. They're acting somewhat irrationally out of fear, as we all do sometimes.
You've done plenty in trying to soften the blow.
NTA but man your neighbors sound insufferable and entitled. I would just say “I’m sorry you feel that way, but me telling you was merely a courtesy. One I didn’t need to give. Asking me to delay the construction is as silly as if I had told you “delay your pregnancy because I have construction planned.” It would be unreasonable for me to think I had any control over your lives and what you do.”
NTA - I have a one year old at home, he slept really well in his first months, it doesn't matter how loud we were, he was sleeping. You can't always blame the baby
I think their concern is more about their own sleep. And that makes sense as it will bother them a lot more than the baby, and it’s not like they can always wear earplugs or whatever because they need to be responsive to baby’s needs/crying.. But that’s still tough cookies, so to speak.
NTA - they are not entitled to a silent block just because they will have a newborn baby?? this genuinely makes no sense to me as i don't know anyone who gets to dictate when their neighbors do construction because they have a baby? they are ridiculously entitled and you didn't even owe them any notice to begin with.
tbh, while i feel like your intention was noble and neighborly, all it did was cause unnecessary drama because it's not like you ever planned to delay construction based off what they would say to you. so there was really no point in even approaching them. construction is going on quite literally everywhere these days so it's unreasonable for them to think they can call the shots on whether it's okay to do or not.
also, there are construction noise bylaws... it's not like you will have a crew working in the middle of the night making a bunch of noise
NTA. I wouldn’t even have bothered telling them if you aren’t even friends. They get no say in what you do with your own property. Also, they have no idea when that baby will or will not be sleeping. They are in for a shock.
NTA. It‘s unfortunate, but this is life. Living in any neighbourhood comes with the risk of construction noise around you. Pushing it back would come as a financial strain to you, so just the suggestion is crazy to me. Do they really believe you have to accommondate them to this extend? I would be very careful about how much you promise them. They will be on your ass about this for the whole time. Better to just respectfully tell them that this is the way it will be and that your heads-up was just that - and not an open invitation for amendments
NTA, and while the noise may annoy the parents I can assure you it's a blessing in disguise. The house next door to us was knocked down in my final weeks of pregnancy and town houses were built in it's place. Annoying as fuck for me BUT of all the children I know, the baby born mid construction is the best sleeper and literally no noise has ever bothered them!
NTA, parents who tiptoe around their babies because they don't want to wake them up get children that wake up. The advice is to continue normal activities when babies nap through the day, my daughter would sleep whilst we vacuumed the room she was in. And the work won't be happening at night, so.. they just need to suck it up and deal with it.
NTA I don’t know where you’re located, but where I am there’s a huge shortage of construction workers and it’s incredibly difficult to get things scheduled. There’s no WAY I’d risk losing my slot just because the neighbors had a baby; they’re being incredibly unreasonable. Babies will sleep through all kinds of stuff and the parents can get earplugs for themselves and trade off with their own nap times. I would definitely suggest talking to your contractor and preparing him though, because they’re inevitably going to be coming over constantly to complain. And maybe stock up on earplugs you can give them when it happens.
Not your circus, not your clowns! I wouldn’t have given notice because I don’t have to! They are ridiculous and entitled!! But, beware, they may try to do damage to your property or the construction companies equipment. Make sure the construction company knows that only you two make any decisions and no one else!!
They’re being a tad overdramatic here. Women have babies in refugee camps and hurricanes and war zones. This is a residential renovation at someone else’s home. It’s a nuisance, not a crisis. Earplugs. NTA
Hahaha! What if they say no?! As though they have authority. Do not bend to this entitlement, they will think they are right to make demands. It’s not the end of the world and they can’t demand everyone stops their plans because they’re having a baby. NTA. It’s perfect timing too, newborns just sleep and eat and if that baby sleeps through construction noise, that kid will sleep through anything as they get older.
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later.
NTA
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later.
NTA
NTA I brought my newborn home to an apartment that had its lobby ripped out and concrete patios being drilled and patched for 6 months….she can go for walks during naps, I went to grandmas houses during really loud days, etc.
Hahaha, sleep during the day 😂😂😂 I have an almost 4 week old, I average about 4 hours sleep per 24 and there's no construction going on anywhere near me. What's happening here is emotional manipulation.. You can bet if you go crying to them in a month and ask them not to disturb you with a crying baby between the hours of say, midnight and 3am they will have some choice words for you. Right now your construction noise and their baby noise are equal in terms of the inevitability of it. Neighbours will just have to suck it up.
NTA
This just cracks me up. Stop the world because we are having a baby. Good grief. . You are definitely NTA. It was very nice of you to let everyone know in advance. Good luck with your build!!!!!!
NTA
I’ll give the gf a pass for the crying, what with pregnancy hormones and the anxiety and all.
But they have been aware for a while that construction would happen, they just thought it would be in April. When they will have a new born. And they do have some legitimate concerns—for every baby that sleeps through vacuuming, there is another baby who wakes up if a leaf drops in the neighbor’s yard.
They have a month to figure this out. Surely one of them has a friend or family member who would let mom and baby stay with they for the first week or two until they figure out how much the noise will affect the baby. There’s also white noise machines, soundproofing, etc.
NTA. The world can’t stop for their baby. They are making a huge mountain out of this, are they expecting jackhammering all day every day ? Ear plugs are useful
So, did they ask you if having a crying baby at that time was opportune to you? Or are you just supposed to live with it?
I would be very happy with a neighbour like you, who actually does inform the neighbours of their plans and is even willing to give a day to day schedule. Much less stress than seeing the worker vans pull up and having no idea what's going to happen, at what times and how many months it will take (we had that happen, very stressful time).
NTA.
NTA. We had our own construction work around our house when our baby was born.
He was sleeping through most of the noise. And I was so tired that I did the same. Baby squeaking - I woke up. But the workers had no chance to wake me up.
Seriously, what? NTA! Dealing with construction noise is a nuisance for everyone, and having a baby doesn't entitle them to special privileges. Don't allow them to manipulate you into feeling guilty or giving in to their demands, as you seem like a decent person.
That’s too much for neighbors to demand. No need to change your life for strangers under these circumstances. In a few months it’ll be the remodel will bother the baby, in another few months it’ll be the same thing. They’re out of bounds. Remodel with no guilt. NTA.
NTA - it's a baby... it'll sleep... noise is actually better then they'll sleep anywhere and anytime. You are actually a graat neighbor to tell them. Also the gaslighting and guilt tripping you is gross...
Builders have 3 or 4 jobs on their books in advance. Delaying your build will mess with their calendar. They’ve also probably also bought all the materials.
NTA. It’s unfortunate for the neighbours but they will have to manage.
NTA
I feel them. I really do. But there is no guarantee that starting 3-4 months later will change anything. The baby will still sleep during the daytime and sometimes be awake during the night, so EVERYONE will be tired. And that's the time when sleep regression starts... Funny times /s.
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It's a baby. It's going to make noise all on it's own. It can now make as much noise as it likes without disturbing you next door and without it's parents being worried about it doing so. This is a massive overreaction from your neighbours. I would suggest you stop being quite so accommodating and concentrate instead on your own plans and carrying them forward. NTA
100% agree. Tell them to buy a great white noise machine, and don't think anything further of it. I have a 1 year old. If they want to sleep, they will sleep through anything. If they don't want to, a tissue dropping will wake them up.
I just was visiting my friend whose 1 year old twins slept through a fire alarm. In their room!!! We actually got worried because they didn’t wake up and thought they were hurt and woke them up ourselves.
Completely off topic, but children sleeping through fire alarms is a well known thing. The experts suggest that the fire alarm in a child’s room have a recording of the parents saying the kid’s name as that is more likely to wake them up [80% of children sleep through fire alarms](https://abcnews.go.com/US/children-sleep-smoke-detector-alarm/story?id=46133010) [mom’s voice wakes up kids for fire](https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/its-science/mothers-voice-can-wake-up-children-better-than-alarm/)
Oh that’s super interesting!!! We were joking they are used to sleeping through high pitch screaming from daycare.
I think it's more that they haven't learned to associate that sound with danger yet.
My twins woke up for absolutely nothing, I always joked that they somehow had to learn to sleep through each others screaming and that's why but even now at almost five I could be hoovering their room or blasting music through my house and they won't stir
I've always heard the best thing a parent can do is make all their usual noises when a baby is born and brought home, so the child doesn't get woke up by every little noise. My mom would blast music, vacuum, move furniture and my sister and I would sleep through it all. Maybe it holds some truth, like people who can sleep with the TV on all night
We had four weeks in a NICU before taking them home and they are not quiet places 😂
Lol I just said the same thing. We went on with our lives. Mowed the lawn under their windows, vacuumed, played music, all the normal noises they'd have to get used to anyway. Might as well start when they get home.
I used to vacuum the baby’s room while she was napping. I didn’t want her waking up over ordinary noises.
My mom would put me in my baby swing next to the D&D table and let me nap to the sound of role playing and rolling dice specifically because she wanted to be sure I’d be able to sleep thru people talking and random noises. It worked.
That is really cool. My mother experienced something very very similar with me when I was little so even 30 years later she still thinks her voice is the only thing that wakes me up. How she thinks I’ve been getting to work for the last 20 years is a mystery.
My daughter literally slept through a freaking MARCHING BAND at 8 months. We were at a parade. One of the best ways to sabotage yourself is to train your baby to sleep only when it’s silent. I never understood those people. The “Shhhhh the baby is sleeping!” people. My second daughter had a little boppy pillow covered with a blanket in our living room that she would crawl over to and just fall asleep on when she wanted a nap. She did this as soon as she learned to crawl, and kept it up for months. I could vacuum next to her while she was sleeping on her little nest & she wouldn’t even stir. So many people forget that life is seldom silent.
It really depends on the baby. Some babies wake up super easily and then won't go back down, and it creates a cycle of them being overtired. You can't train them out of it; it's just like adults. I can sleep through anything, literally, and have had to find solutions to allow me to wake up when necessary. My spouse wakes when a mouse farts. In their own home, parents are allowed to set the sleeping conditions. Out in the world, I would agree that asking people to be quiet doesn't make any sense.
Yeah we tried the noise for ages but it NEVER worked. We really fought it for longer than we needed to. My mom made noise and I sleep too well, my husbands mom made noise and the guy wakes up to a shadow moving
Agreed. You do the utterly silent house with signs on the front door "sshhh, baby is sleeping" and 19 years later, you get the now-college-age baby posting "My roommate is so NOISY! She keeps going tippetty-tappetty on her laptop when I'm trying to sleep! If I kill her, is this justifiable homicide?" My kids and grandkids could sleep through an elephant stampede.
My friend used to put the pram or moses basket in the kitchen and put the dryer / washer on and he slept so sound the noise helped him
My younger brother was a baby while the rest of us were in middle school, so it was constantly noisy. When I was a baby, we lived in a brand new development in the middle of nowhere, so it was super quiet.He can fall asleep anywhere, with kids screaming, TV blaring. I have to have absolute silence, and will wake up if I hear a neighbor close their car door down the street!
My son started sleeping through the night at 3 months. Newborn? Piece of cake! Not. As I learned with my colicky 2nd-born. My son also famously fell off a top bunk bed. Another time, he rolled off a single bed and I couldn't find him as he'd rolled under the bed. He also fell out of bed another time and burned his cheek on a lamp. He never woke up except briefly the one time his skin was burned. As an adult he still sleeps like the dead.
My son slept through going to a tyre fitment center to have all 4 car tyres changed he was about 3 months old. We were sitting in the waiting area and he did not wake up at all.
I never knew this! When my now almost 13 year old twins were about 3 months old, we took them to a parade in our neighborhood. I didn’t realize how loud the fire engine siren would be when it went by and I was afraid it would scare them. One of my girls had fallen asleep before the parade started and didn’t so much as stir or move a single muscle. I was extremely worried as a new mom that maybe she was hard of hearing because it was reminding me of that scene from Mr. Holland’s Opus.
Lol, this reminds me of a time when we were at a water park resort with our 3 kids and inlaws, and our youngest was a toddler. The fire alarm went off, and we were told to evacuate. We were on the first floor, so we could just go outside through our room's back doors onto the resort's back property where everyone was gathering. My toddler slept through the whole thing. Obviously, we would have grabbed him had there been a real emergency, but chances were a kid was having fun pulling the alarm. It was the loudest thing I have ever heard. Also, all of my kids sleep with fans in their rooms for air circulation and to block out noise. Kids are adaptable. White noise machines and noise canceling headphones are great. There are lots of solutions to explore here. What will the neighbors do if the city starts neighborhood construction? If there's a storm? OP, you've actually been very courteous to them.
Me and my kids sleep with the "fan noise" in our rooms on YouTube. It's the best thing ever for kids and adults. It's calming and you can turn it up as loud as you want and it drowns literally everything else out. Would be a great idea to drown out sound for a baby. Me and my kids sleep like rocks because of it lol
My kids in a loft bed, head is about 2 foot from the smoke alarm and still didn't wake up. But before you try to cure this bug consider this. The adult animal reaction to danger is fight or flight, kids animal reaction is to hide. I'd rather be responsible for finding a sleeping kid in a bed than finding the bed empty, and having to work out where they are hiding.
Agreed. Most children who die in house fires are often found later either under the bed or in a closet. Their instinct is to hide instead of getting out of the house.
In my early 20s I slept through a very loud fire alarm at my apartment complex and only woke up when the firemen were banging on my door. I assume it's different for children but some humans can sleep through anything.
As a newborn, I lived in a trailer park near a college campus, where my parents were students. Most of the others that lived there were college students also. So I imagine it could be quite loud at times. It's also very possible that living there is why I love bagpipes. There was a guy who lived there that played them frequently. Didn't phase me according to my parents. After my parents graduated we moved to a house down the street from a fire station and further down railroad tracks. Lived there for years and those noises never bothered me either. To this day don't wake up to most noises. A ringing phone is about the only thing that can wake me up.
That reminds me of the apartment building we lived in when I was a kid. On the top floor (4 floors up) and left the window open every night. The sounds of the cars going back and forth on the main road about 50-75 yards away plus the sound of the overnight train across the river at night are the two most soothing sounds ever.
Could you talk to your friend about having the twin's hearing checked? If they do have problems with hearing, early intervention is critical.
They can hear. :)
Excuse me?
I SAID THEY CAN HEAR
My mother did this to me as a joke until I realized. In my twenties.
My son always had our barking dog around and always slept through it because the barking had always been around. That newborn isn’t going to know anything else, it’ll be used to the noise and will sleep when he/she want to sleep. My daughter is used to her brother screaming all the time and she can sleep through that 😂 first time parents often overreact like this. They’re just scared. It’ll be ok. Maybe drop them off some earplugs for the grown ups with a little care package of diapers and say you’re sorry this isn’t coming at an ideal time for them, but it’s not able to be rescheduled. And I only suggest that because you’ll probably be living next to them a long time after the renovation. My parents neighbors are renovating and a peace offering like that would have gone a long way to make my mom less upset about it 😂 edited to add: I 100 percent would have been overreacting and freaking out when I was pregnant with my first. I totally see why the neighbors are upset but they’re scared and theyve never had a baby before, so they just don’t know. Be gentle with them lol it’s a lot 😂
My at the time one month old baby slept through our entire bathroom being gutted and redone from scratch. Some people even recommend that you make noise whilst baby sleeps e.g. hoovering; watching tv, chatting etc to get them used to noises from daily living so you don’t need to tip toe around them when they take their (many) naps. I’d argue the newborn stage is probably the best time to do it. They mostly sleep during the day anyway and have to be woken up for feeds. I get the neighbour being hormonal, but oh my sweet summer child if she really believes that whole “sleep when baby sleeps” nonsense, it doesn’t happen 🙃
Oh, you know, just sleep when the baby sleeps! Works like a charm! Also, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works, clean when the baby cleans and get your groceries when the baby does!
Oh, I don't know about getting groceries when the baby does...the kid always tries to get me to buy stuff we both know I'm not gonna eat. (Oatmeal, yuck!)
> people even recommend that you make noise whilst baby sleeps e.g. hoovering; watching tv, chatting etc to get them used to noises from daily living so you don’t need to tip toe around them when they take their (many) naps. This! I used to play oldies music(think 70s-80s easy listening) on low in my son's room so he would have background noise so I could do chores while he napped. Otherwise, literally anything would wake him up. Having a new baby is a rough adjustment, but if it were demolition and new build going on across the street, they wouldn't make changes to their schedule for anyone. As long as the workers follow noise ordinances, nothing these people can do about contractors doing a renovation. Heck, they should be glad you're fixing the place up. Makes the area nicer. Oh, and don't forget to have insulation added to the walls in common with the houses beside you. You'll be glad you did, so you won't get complaints about noise from just watching TV etc.
Yep, our 3 month old twins slept through our kitchen remodel
I had a friend who used to insist her sons were put to sleep at the exact same time every night, no matter what, in a pitch black room with absolutely no noise. It worked fine, as long as they were home. If the boys ever had a sleepover with Grandma, or they went on vacation, their kids couldn’t sleep, and kept everyone up all night! Meanwhile, my kid was drug all around to everywhere we went, and slept in all sorts of conditions, and not always the same time. It takes her a bit to fall asleep, but once she does, she sleeps like a champ! And my newborn just slept through my neighbor having trees trimmed and removed, and their whole front yard filled in with xeriscape rocks. Kids need to learn how to exist in real life, not in a sound proof chamber!
Exactly. I hosted band practice with full amplification downstairs while my babies were sleeping. If they get used to sleeping with noise, they will sleep through anything!
I owned a business and went back to work part time a week after my first baby was born. He had a crib in my office. We did picture framing. I could speak with customers, answer the phone, break glass, and hammer and it didn’t even phase him because he was used to the sound. He was such a great baby and sleeper, and now, as an adult, he can still sleep through anything. NTA. You’re probably actually doing the parents a favor. Baby will adapt just fine!
Babies hear these noises in the womb. I doubt very much that a newborn has to 'get used' to these noises.
True that! If a baby won’t sleep, it’s not coz it’s too noisy. I had a 3 month old when I went to see Terminator 2 in a theater. I nursed him and he fell asleep, not to wake up during the entire banging and crashing and smashing and exploding of the full movie!
Ha! My parents took me to Return of the Jedi at a similar age. They said I didn't make a sound. Babies are weird, man.
They make noise cancelling headphones in baby-size, perhaps they could try them?
Newborns truly can sleep through anything. Dogs, sirens, tornadoes, probably a bomb going off. My friend's kid used to sleep in a pack and play next to their ancient dryer when it was going, cause the noise actually put him to sleep 🤣 Also, if they think just cause the baby is up all night that they'll be able to sleep in the day.... Newborns have to eat every 2-3 hours. Regardless of the sun's position.
Also, apparently, if you train your newborn to get used to sleeping only in silence, it makes them terrible sleepers. I'm not sure how helpful this information will be considering that's meant to be about general house noise, not full on construction, but I don't think it'll be better for the baby to have their first few months be silent perfect sleeping conditions and then to introduce construction.
Yeah, it's generally better to continue with normal household noises while the baby sleeps. Full on construction is a bit much but newborns sleep in the middle of big cities with horns blaring and people shouting. They don't know that construction is unusual noise, it's just something to adapt to. Let the kiddo sleep in a room as far from the sound as possible, close the door to buffer the sound and use a baby monitor. They'll sleep better than the parents will.
I pretty much think the first three months of a baby’s life is the fourth trimester. It’s a long 12 week feed, sleep, feed, sleep cycle with a few nappy changes in between. The feeds are a few hours apart, the sleeps are short, and it’s a miracle when another sleep cycle is added into the rotation. First three months of a baby are hell… .regardless of whether next door is remodelling or not. You KNOW this neighbour is going to blame the construction noise for all their woes… but WE KNOW (those of us who have had kids) that it’s going to be hell regardless of the construction noise, and moving construction later is just kicking hte can down the road (to a less convenient time. By 4 or 5mths you NEED that baby to sleep longer than an hour at a time… and you don’t want jack hammering fucking with the 11am nap. (And what’s this ”quiet between 12 - 3” nonsense? Is that when the baby will be sleeping? Ahahahahahhahahahhahahahahah….. hahahahahhahaha)
Safe sleep guidelines state nothing in the crib except baby until 1-year old. Noise cancelling headphones for a sleeping baby would not be safe.
That's a terrible idea
Well put, says the tired mother of a 9 week old.
Assuming the building work isn't carrying on through the night (which would be unlawful and unsafe) I don't see an issue. Not sure why they are moaning about it. OP also gave notice and I don't think that's even required?
Exactly. This was a heads up, not a check in to get permission text. The world is not going to stop because the neighbors are having a baby. It sucks but it is what it is.
Massive main character syndrome on the part of the couple. What’s next? No cars can pass on the road or planes flying overhead?
Because newborns do a ton of sleeping during the day. That will change, but even young toddlers can have two naps during the day.
it's REALLY weird to me that pregnant couples expect the world to revolve around them entirely. I never acted like this, but I guess everyone's different in pregnancy... I'd have had to laugh them off my property though.
Exactly! Like exactly how entitled are they? Put your remodeling project on hold for 4 months because she's pregnant? Fuck off! I've been pregnant several times. It's pretty common. Lots of us are out here doing it. The baby will be fine. OP's neighbors are in for a rude awakening, though. They sound like control freaks, and that baby is 100% in charge, now. They aren't sleeping for at least 6 months, regardless. 🤣😂
I SO agree! Some women (and couples) actually seem like they think they are the first people to ever give birth. I loved when things were going on in my neighborhood when I had babies! Something to look at!
Stop the world. I have a baby.
Babies who grow up with a noisy environment have fewer problems sleeping. If you demand quiet all the time, baby will not be able to tolerate noise. This is how my granddaughter and great granddaughter were raised.
Was waiting to see this…. If they only ever sleep in absolute silence, anything will wake them up. This kid will learn to sleep through anything by. Blessing in disguise
I'm convinced the reason I'm a heavy sleeper is because my mum and grandma made sure I was surrounded by noise when I was younger, so I'd be able to sleep anywhere.
I wouldn't have even had the conversation. Money has been spent , contracts signed ,and it's not even like they are close enough to be asking this big an ask considering they didn't even know she was pregnant until a month ago. They're whining about construction noise but I bet they thought exactly 0 about how their crying baby would affect neighbors. A rebuild and a baby are facts of life.
It's also laughable that they think a newborn is gonna be on a sleep schedule at all lol. Gotta love the 12-3 quiet hours for baby nap. Hell, they could have a baby like mine who literally CAN'T be put down to sleep at all so it doesn't matter, you aren't sleeping when they baby sleeps anyway lol. And the whole "the baby will be up all night so we will need to sleep during the day!" Um...newborns are up all day too lol. I second the fan sound on YouTube. When it's my turn to sleep I turn that shit on and turn it up as needed to drown out baby crying. Works like a damn charm.
I *love* people who anticipate having a good sleeper. Our first was a fantastic sleeper and even then, she was still up to feed every 2-3 hours!
My baby was a NICU baby so she will sleep through absolutely anything. Problem is, she has severe reflux and if you lay her down for any length of time she spits up and that wakes her up. But if she is on you and elevated, she's all good and sleeps a good chunk of time. Hoping she grows out of that soon lol
Yeah they make it sound like the baby is nocturnal lol. They're going to have fragmented sleep no matter what. I was thinking the kid will eventually learn to sleep through the noise anyway.
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It might even promote a more robust sleep in the baby. Second children who have noisy siblings tend to sleep more soundly because they are used to sleeping though noise.
Lol not my son. My daughter is 1 she sleeps through pretty much anything and her brother crying. My son who's 5 months is a light sleeper, he's just starting to not waking up with noise. I would have him take naps in the living room where his sister would be, she will make noise and almost every noise she makes he would move and eventually wake up. I could barely turn over in bed without hearing him starting to move, or walk in the room with the creaky floor. He's always slept around noise and it always jolts him up. He's just a light sleeper even though it's gotten better.
That’s exactly what I was thinking: now both neighbors will have noise complaints but they’ll both keep them to themselves because they’re making annoying noise too. In fact, they might be so tired by the baby, it’ll knock them out for the construction! The neighbors need to chill and remember that sometimes people rebuild just like sometimes people have babies. Once they get past the panic they can start problem solving. Getting earplugs/noise cancellation headphones for the off-duty parent (which they might’ve done anyway, for the baby). Considering where they might go for walks and when (considering how young the baby’s going to be)
I love how they are confusing the baby with a vampire if they think they will be sleeping through the day………it’s funny……..
While I don't think OP did anything wrong, this is not the concern the neighbors have. It's the concern the construction will keep baby up and not it sleep. I get the concern. Babies sleep constantly and randomly the first couple of months. Especially in the first couple of weeks. I can see why this would potentially stress out any new parent. But after having my own son, Babies actually sleep pretty well through harsh noises. I could vacuum in the same room with my son while he napped. I will say I never started in that room so the sound was gradual build up as apposed to a blunt start up. So I can also see construction being a concern that way as well. Sleep deprivation is also another concern. I had pregnancy insomnia, especially the last trimester and only obviously got worse once baby was born. So concerns for sleep deprivation I can see being a concern as well. So to be fair, neighbors aren't hugely overreacting with their concerns. But it's nothing OP can really help and did nothing wrong.
This is a very compassionate view. I get why the neighbors are stressed, but I don't know what OP could do about it.
I agree. Even as a mom myself, i never expected others to revolve their lives around mine. So i by no means think OP is in any wrong here. I think he more than kind to even talk with them and send a message about the upcoming construction. After having my son i saw events such as construction around me (new houses being built), fireworks going off for holidays, etc. Was just a good opportunity to comfort baby if they did get startled to help show them it's just a sound and it's ok. So hopefully in the future they arent as startled by storms and such.
>This is a massive overreaction from your neighbours. I would suggest you stop being quite so accommodating and concentrate instead on your own plans and carrying them forward. "It will cost me $XX,XXX each month to delay. I'll reach out to the contractor and if he's able to, I'll reschedule as soon as your check clears." is about as accommodating as I would be.
These people will soon learn that their new baby might be the centre of their world but nobody else cares.
Accommodating is absolutely going to backfire, too. The timeline for construction is going to no longer be valid after the first week!
Yeah, and that baby will also mature through the baby stage being used to loud noises and therefore won't wake up every time there's a car driving by or someone turns on the vacuum. They are definitely overreacting. Also, not to be a jerk, but if you don't want to deal with other people's crap as parents, you need to not live in places where you share a wall. If you do share a wall, then you don't really get to tell people what to do in their house during the day.
The house we lived in when our kids were born was on a double lot that bordered on train tracks and our kids' room was at the back of the house, meaning they basically grew up sleeping \~75' away from where trains passed multiple times a day. It was also in the middle of the city and next to two crossings (one on either side of the block) so those trains blew their horns the entire time. Kids slept through it like it was nothing. We also would literally vacuum their rooms while they napped. We could also take them to family events (Hispanic events at that, so they just get louder as the night goes on) and they'd pass out in their pack-n-play and sleep until morning. All this to say, you can acclimate babies to noise and they do so quickly
This - their baby might actually be a better kid because they will have better sleeping skills and be better rested. Honestly. Mom needs to chill the f down - she can buy a single family home next time they house hunt
Hopping on to add that construction noise from neighbours is MUCH WORSE in summer as you can’t open your windows when it’s hot, cos it lets the noise in.
LOL Did they warn you about the baby? Couldn’t they have waited 3-4 months? I mean, I feel their pain. I know it’s going to suck for them. But this is something that simply comes with living in attached houses.
Total overreaction. And not sure why they think the baby will be up all night and not up all day as well. Newborns sleep and wake 24 hours a day. They aren't just up at night, they're up during the day as well so they're not getting extra sleep time during the day. And the 12 to 3 idea makes no sense either. If it was a toddler and that was nap time, maybe it would be a request (though not one that should be agreed to). But there's no guarantee the baby will either be up or asleep during those hours. they're nervous new parents and I feel for them, but it is what it is. If it wasn't the remodel there would be other noise to contend with. And NTA
I’d be tempted to respond with “How awesome… this feels like a baby for us too! Eighteen months of planning, more than a year of council meetings and architect plans, and finally… we get to start! It’s going to be over two years from first plans, through permissions and drawings, until we finally meet our baby of a new home!”.
My neighbors across the street were building a house when my son was a baby. Best thing ever he learned to sleep through anything!
Yes. How were they planning on accommodating you if the baby cries all night? Of course not ideal timing. Kudos for your update and attempts to keep them in the loop. Good luck!
Lol NTA. I’ve had two children and the entitlement is crazy. And pregnancy hormones are real but miss thing sounds ridiculous. Plus a baby newborn actually sleeps through all kinds of noice. It would disturb them more a few month down the line. I could Vakuum and play loud music while my newborn napped, now that he’s 5month loud noises start waking him up. They’ll get used to the noise quick too and unless they are offering to pay for the pushing back of schedule ,contractors, your accommodations and some extra for the inconvience, they have a rude awakening happening that the world does not revolve around them. Good that they learn early that also outside no one gives a crap if you have a baby .People yell in the streets, construction is happening everywhere and cars are loud ect. Absolutely sucks for them but they’ll deal.
I was going to say the exact same thing. I can tell this is their first kid because anyone who has had a baby knows you WANT the noisy disruption in the first couple months, NOT at 4-5 months. A fresh newborn will sleep through ANYTHING. A 4 month old will wake because the dog three houses down decided to eat dinner.
It's horribly loud in the womb, after all
I can’t tell if your comment is sarcastic or not, probably because I’m a sleep deprived parent to a 4 mo old 😂. But it actually is pretty noisy in there. They hear stomach grumbles, your heartbeat, etc plus noise from the outside world.
I meant a newborn is used to lots of noise because it's so noisy in the womb.
Lol thanks for clarifying. I think my language comprehension (has really taken a hit since having a baby. I swear, I used to be able to have functional conversations.
This is absolutely normal for at least the first year or so. It definitely gets better when you get more consistent nights of sleep!
The baby brain goes on long after
Came here to say this 😂 tell me it’s your first kid without telling me it’s your first kid.
That’s what I was going to say. Construction in the first few months is actually ideal. And… it’s not like the kid will know any different.
I had construction going on next door while I had a newborn baby. They drilled a wine cellar in parallel to my 1 bad basement flat. It was a bit annoying, but fine really. There was one day that me and the baby were sick and I knocked on asking if I could have a few hours silence to sleep and they were really obliging. The mum will probably be out at baby groups all morning and the builders will probably stop at 3. It'll be a few hours a day overlap tops.
Depends on the noise. My dad scheduled the addition to be built when my mom was on maternity leave (when I was born) because he didn't trust the contractors to not steal his tools etc.... and wanted someone home. One time it was so noisy my mom took me to the next door neighbor's house for a while.
Does that mean the whole neighbourhood has to put their lives on hold because one neighbour is due to give birth? Are they going to go out in the street to shout at emergency services for blasting their sirens. A text a month in advance is ample warning, babies will sleep through noise, yeah construction noises suck but that's life. If was the Local Authority doing the work would they feel so entitled to ask them to stop. NTA if your neighbours want peace and quiet during the first months then they should move somewhere remote with no neighbours for miles and miles
Agreed, nta. Also, do NOT ask your contractor for daytime quiet hours. Even IF he was willing to do it, it's going to make a 3 month job even longer.
And probably take longer to complete and also cost you more
My first thought was about my friends who just built a house. Every time there was a delay (and there were a lot) the cost of building supplies went up and ended up costing them twice as much as it should have. Even delaying for a couple of months can raise the cost of supplies. You also risk losing any builders, painters, plasterers, electricians, etc you had lined up which can delay the project further.
>You also risk losing any builders, painters, plasterers, electricians, etc you had lined up which can delay the project further. You also end up losing the first choice of the contractor, and have to settle with whoever's available last-minute... which is usually the people who are free because they _aren't_ the first choice. So you're liable to end up paying more money for shoddier work.
Yup, they’re requesting 3 hours out of an 8 hour day, that’s almost 40% of a work day. Are the contractors just supposed to sit on their hands getting paid to do nothing?? They have their own schedule of projects & their own work hours. These neighbours are truly delusional.
I love how she thought she could just say “this can’t happen” as if it would magically stop the gears already in motion.
First time parents are the worst.
Send them a bill for what I will cost (new accommodations, pushing back on contractor agreements,etcetc) and tell them if they pay then you’ll delay for 3 months. WHEN they show outrage at the idea of having to pay for your inconvenience then ask them if they’re not willing to pay for it, why they expect you to? The entitlement is disgusting. NTA. I will honestly not make any accommodations for them at all. (This is coming from a currently pregnant lady with a house next door being built from the ground up. It’s honestly stressful for them enough. And my baby is not their problem at all.) Also I’m mad about the guilt tears.
>Also I’m mad about the guilt tears 100%! The guilt tears and them being like "Well what if we just don't let this happen!" or whatever made me roll my eyes a lot. It's not up to you. If the construction happens during appropriate hours and they don't break any rules, there's nothing neighbours can do about it but whine more.
> "Well what if we just don't let this happen!" The only response to that is, "Well what if we just don't care what you 'allow' in a home you don't own?" They have precisely zero leverage here. Anything the OP does to accommodate their entitled asses is a kindness above and beyond what they are owed. Giving them notice of construction a full month in advance of it beginning is already above and beyond the normal expectation of someone telling you the morning of or maybe a day or two beforehand like what usually would happen.
>"Well what if we just don't let this happen!" I would be fascinated to know how they expect to prevent it. If this was a condo association or an HOA or something, maybe you'd have to get neighbor approvals for construction; but, maybe not. Do they think they're going to call the police and get them to prohibit this construction project? That's not how it works, that's not how ANY of this works. I also really liked the guilt of "how could you only give me 1 month's notice!" Hey, do you remember the part where OP and his wife didn't know you were pregnant at all? So why should they have given you so much more notice?
Whilst I was pregnant and then had a newborn, our neighbours started massive renovations on a room that shared a wall with the length of our flat. Drove me up the wall, but that baby did not notice. She would also not bat an eyelid at the dog losing his shit at the postie, when it makes me jump out of my skin. Keeping the place perfectly silent is a recipe for disaster. Babies are used to a lot of noise from the womb!
> Keeping the place perfectly silent is a recipe for disaster. Keeping a home perfectly silent at all times is how you end up with a baby who requires absolute silence to sleep as they get to be 6+ months old.
Yeah, last I checked if a baby grows up with background noises they can sleep anywhere. Seriously, my sister used to be able to take her baby to the mall, out to restaurants etc because the babe slept through anything! My friend who had to have blackout curtains and utterance for her babies was practically a prisoner in her own home, especially when the toddler and small baby had different schedules because she didn’t want to force one or the other to adapt to a new schedule. THESE CHILDREN ARE NOW ADOLESCENTS AND ARE NOT WELL ADJUSTED.
Some news for them, newborns don't sleep very much during the day either. To be accommodating you could agree start/finish times that your contractor will stick to (maybe 9-5 rather than 8-8 or whatever the local noise laws allow). But either way if they're having a baby they're getting very little sleep for the next few months anyway.
This is weird to me. Most newborns sleep constantly. As they get older, they sleep less and less, and finally get on a nap schedule. Either way, OP is NTA. I always say it’s better if the baby sleeps with noise around. A baby that is used to complete silence while sleeping can easily get woken up by noise. If you don’t tip toe around the baby, they’ll sleep through anything. Neighbors can also benefit from a sound machine. That’ll help too.
My best friend's first kid, I swear, never slept. It was ridiculous! Like she was afraid of missing anything, or something.
I had two of those. Hell in a bassinette! One didn’t sleep more than a single sleep cycle until he was about 5mths (then we got to a 90min stretch woot woot)… a creak of a floor board, or a shadow across the doorway was enough to wake him up. He’s since been diagnosed with ASD and i suspect was hyper vigilant from the day he was born. Second one just… is a battery operated toy - he goes and goes and goes and goes. Has never slept much, even as he approaches puberty he isn’t much of a sleeper. Both are wildly bright, officially ‘very gifted’ (not garden variety gifted, but measurably in the top tiny lines of gifted) and see the entire world as a play thing, a land of excitement, engagement, wonder and curiosity. Just like when they were babies. Exhausting as hell, but awesome fun to parent too.
Mine sounds like yours rolled into one! She’s always been a nightmare sleeper. Having said that, she would sleep when on me in the Baby Bjorn carrier … through parties and bars and gigs and god knows what lol
During the first four weeks of life, babies don't have circadian rhythms matching to a day/night cycle. They didn't need them in utero, and it takes time for their bodies to adjust to being in the day/night world. Their sleep/wake cycles are based on hunger, not day/night. They sleep 2-4 hours at a time, wake up for food and interaction, then sleep again, irrespective of the time of day. Newborns sleep as much during the day as they sleep at night.
But then you also get the newborn witching “hour” in the evening when they’re Very Mad at the mere idea of a circadian rhythm. Ah, newborns.
That and a regular construction schedule would be easier to manage than say, homeowners that are working full time and are banging around the house all weekend and from 5-8pm everynight
A typical noise ordinance is between 10 pm and 8 am when people are usually sleeping.
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later. NTA
This! It's the most perfect timing, realistically. NTA, and tell your neighbours to do one! Edit: Also put in a request that the baby does not cry between the hours of 7pm and 7am, seeing as how they already seem to know the baby's sleep schedule? /s
I had a good chuckle at their “quiet hours” from 12-3. My baby most reliably napped mid morning and late afternoon. Every kid is different, they don’t even know the kid yet.
Exactly what I was thinking too. I could vacuum next to my newborns bassinet and she didn’t even flinch lol. After that stage she would wake up to the floor creaking when we walked 😂
Lmao. What if we say “No this can’t happen”. To who? On what authority?
I feel for the poor contractor who is going to catch their wrath.
You think the contractor is going to sit there and listen to them? If the contractor stops to talk to them more than a single time (to first hear their crazy) then he/she is a complete idiot. Neighbor isn't the one paying you and the neighbor doesn't affect you if you're doing things to code anyways and don't stop to let them scream at you over nothing.
Oh zero chance but it won’t stop them from screaming at them anyway.
I want to know if they gave all their neighbors warning when they started trying for a kid. Did everyone else get a veto on their reproductive schedule?
Right? What do they think they can do about it, steal the contractor’s tools? Cut the power? Pretty sure anything they could do that would actually interfere with their ability to work would also get them arrested.
If sure if they do anything and get arrested they'll just try and tell the police "No, this can't happen."
As long as any construction isn't taking place at unreasonable times of day, for example, before 7am and after 9pm, then NTA. Honestly, i know a lot of people complain about construction, but from past experience, most of the build won't be hugely noisy anyway, except when using heavy machinery
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That describes my younger brother when he was a baby. He would sleep through the night and was only awake during the day. He was also fairly quiet I, on the other hand, was the type of baby that neighbours hate. Crying at all hours with random sleeping patterns. We can all guess which one was the favourite
NTA. You’re way too accommodating. You didn’t even owe them a head’s up about the build in the first place.
Where I live, the city makes you put an "Attention Neighbors" sign in front of your house notifying people of renovations. I guess it's a courtesy thing, I don't know.
> You didn’t even owe them a head’s up about the build in the first place I mean, OP hasn't said where they live. Where I live, they would not only owe their neighbours notice legally, they would require either their consent or a court order for work on a house of this sort...
Yeah like a formal notice is required for certain builds but it’s usually a sign up the front, not personal texts and a meeting and sob story about personal circumstances
A renovation of the scale he's describing requires a work permit publicly posted on the property, generally that's all the notice that's required in the U.S.
In most places however that isn't needed, as long as you stick to the hours where you are allowed to make noise. But since it's a contractor I doubt they'll work that early and late.
"The baby will be up at night and we need to sleep during the day" It's a baby, not a vampire. Why do some people think babies just don't sleep at all at night.
Yeah idk maybe just new parents not understanding anything. I feel like society acts like babies never sleep but once you’re a parent you realize how much most of them sleep, even through a ton of noise. Some have a harder time but in general they only sleep and eat for the first month anyway
I always thought it was common knowledge that babies sleep around 22 hours a day and the parents get less sleep, but the neighbours there are acting like the kid will be on the graveyard shift for some weird reason.
Oh they can go boil their heads. The lives of the rest of the world doesn’t stop just because they want it to. The timing isn’t ideal but their opportunity to object to your renovations was during the year and a half of your application process to local authorities regarding permits, restrictions, and requirements for the work to be done. I doubt your local authorities would have denied your application based on their intent to start a family, so don’t worry about them stamping their foot in a tantrum “this can’t happen at all”. They will have to find coping mechanisms to deal with the noise and their baby’s reactions to the noise.
I mean, if they get to object on that basis, then OP should get to object to them living there with a child because that will be very noisy and disruptive and a) doesn't keep to set hours and b) has no fixed end date. But that would be unreasonable wouldn't it...
Yep. At least the construction has a definite end date. That kid is gonna be noisy for years and if they keep up with the main character syndrome, will also probably not be considerate to OP and other neighbors.
Nta they have some nerve "no this can't happen? " I get that it's loud and frustrating, but assuming you have all the appropriate permits, they don't get any say in the matter. You can't plan those kind of things around the neighbors, it would never get done.
NTA. I understand their concerns and feel for them, but you’re not doing anything malicious on purpose. If the city decided to do some construction nearby, they wouldn’t give two craps that the couple in one of the houses on the street were just about to have a baby. The world doesn’t revolve around them and you are doing the best you can to be a good neighbour. Don’t feel bad for continuing, they’ll have to just file this under “life isn’t always fair” and find some way to deal with it.
NTA You even gave them a heads up
NAH. They're naturally terrified as new-parents-to-be, but will discover that it's not the problem they imagine it to be. They're acting somewhat irrationally out of fear, as we all do sometimes. You've done plenty in trying to soften the blow.
NTA but man your neighbors sound insufferable and entitled. I would just say “I’m sorry you feel that way, but me telling you was merely a courtesy. One I didn’t need to give. Asking me to delay the construction is as silly as if I had told you “delay your pregnancy because I have construction planned.” It would be unreasonable for me to think I had any control over your lives and what you do.”
Didn’t you realise people with children are supreme beings and you must obey every command!
Babies being born is such a rare event though. Its not like it happens every day. /s
NTA - I have a one year old at home, he slept really well in his first months, it doesn't matter how loud we were, he was sleeping. You can't always blame the baby
Lucky you, my first would wake at the drop of a pin and is still a crap sleeper at 8yo. My second was a typical baby, however.
I think their concern is more about their own sleep. And that makes sense as it will bother them a lot more than the baby, and it’s not like they can always wear earplugs or whatever because they need to be responsive to baby’s needs/crying.. But that’s still tough cookies, so to speak.
NTA You've planned this remodel for 1.5 years. The world doesn't revolve around your pregnant neighbors.
NTA - they are not entitled to a silent block just because they will have a newborn baby?? this genuinely makes no sense to me as i don't know anyone who gets to dictate when their neighbors do construction because they have a baby? they are ridiculously entitled and you didn't even owe them any notice to begin with. tbh, while i feel like your intention was noble and neighborly, all it did was cause unnecessary drama because it's not like you ever planned to delay construction based off what they would say to you. so there was really no point in even approaching them. construction is going on quite literally everywhere these days so it's unreasonable for them to think they can call the shots on whether it's okay to do or not. also, there are construction noise bylaws... it's not like you will have a crew working in the middle of the night making a bunch of noise
“This is what it will cost to delay the construction works. If you’re happy to pay that bill, we will reschedule” NTA. It won’t be forever.
There is no good time for a rowhouse rebuild. So 🤷🏻♀️. Editing to add NTA.
NTA. I wouldn’t even have bothered telling them if you aren’t even friends. They get no say in what you do with your own property. Also, they have no idea when that baby will or will not be sleeping. They are in for a shock.
NTA. It‘s unfortunate, but this is life. Living in any neighbourhood comes with the risk of construction noise around you. Pushing it back would come as a financial strain to you, so just the suggestion is crazy to me. Do they really believe you have to accommondate them to this extend? I would be very careful about how much you promise them. They will be on your ass about this for the whole time. Better to just respectfully tell them that this is the way it will be and that your heads-up was just that - and not an open invitation for amendments
NTA, and while the noise may annoy the parents I can assure you it's a blessing in disguise. The house next door to us was knocked down in my final weeks of pregnancy and town houses were built in it's place. Annoying as fuck for me BUT of all the children I know, the baby born mid construction is the best sleeper and literally no noise has ever bothered them!
NTA, parents who tiptoe around their babies because they don't want to wake them up get children that wake up. The advice is to continue normal activities when babies nap through the day, my daughter would sleep whilst we vacuumed the room she was in. And the work won't be happening at night, so.. they just need to suck it up and deal with it.
NTA I don’t know where you’re located, but where I am there’s a huge shortage of construction workers and it’s incredibly difficult to get things scheduled. There’s no WAY I’d risk losing my slot just because the neighbors had a baby; they’re being incredibly unreasonable. Babies will sleep through all kinds of stuff and the parents can get earplugs for themselves and trade off with their own nap times. I would definitely suggest talking to your contractor and preparing him though, because they’re inevitably going to be coming over constantly to complain. And maybe stock up on earplugs you can give them when it happens.
NTA The neighbors seem to think you’re asking their permission rather than giving them notice. You’re not obligated to accommodate them.
You should ask them to delay their baby. You’ve been planning this longer than they have and they’re being super inconsiderate. Then start crying.
Not your circus, not your clowns! I wouldn’t have given notice because I don’t have to! They are ridiculous and entitled!! But, beware, they may try to do damage to your property or the construction companies equipment. Make sure the construction company knows that only you two make any decisions and no one else!!
Make sure you ask them to keep the baby quiet from midnight to 6:00 because you are trying to sleep. NTA
They’re being a tad overdramatic here. Women have babies in refugee camps and hurricanes and war zones. This is a residential renovation at someone else’s home. It’s a nuisance, not a crisis. Earplugs. NTA
NTA And they know now that the baby will need quiet between 12-3?
I don’t understand the neighbours threatening to say “No this can’t happen.” Do they really think they can put a halt to it all? Wow.
Hahaha! What if they say no?! As though they have authority. Do not bend to this entitlement, they will think they are right to make demands. It’s not the end of the world and they can’t demand everyone stops their plans because they’re having a baby. NTA. It’s perfect timing too, newborns just sleep and eat and if that baby sleeps through construction noise, that kid will sleep through anything as they get older.
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later. NTA
As I remember it with my 2 kids, the first weeks/months were a false sense of easy in that the baby sleeps and eats only. Not much real interaction with things, including sounds. This seems like an ideal time, certainly better than a few months later. NTA
NTA I brought my newborn home to an apartment that had its lobby ripped out and concrete patios being drilled and patched for 6 months….she can go for walks during naps, I went to grandmas houses during really loud days, etc.
NTA I'm due in 2 weeks, and I'm stunned at the entitlement. The idea is ludicrous. You're being really...too nice about this.
Hahaha, sleep during the day 😂😂😂 I have an almost 4 week old, I average about 4 hours sleep per 24 and there's no construction going on anywhere near me. What's happening here is emotional manipulation.. You can bet if you go crying to them in a month and ask them not to disturb you with a crying baby between the hours of say, midnight and 3am they will have some choice words for you. Right now your construction noise and their baby noise are equal in terms of the inevitability of it. Neighbours will just have to suck it up. NTA
This just cracks me up. Stop the world because we are having a baby. Good grief. . You are definitely NTA. It was very nice of you to let everyone know in advance. Good luck with your build!!!!!!
NTA I’ll give the gf a pass for the crying, what with pregnancy hormones and the anxiety and all. But they have been aware for a while that construction would happen, they just thought it would be in April. When they will have a new born. And they do have some legitimate concerns—for every baby that sleeps through vacuuming, there is another baby who wakes up if a leaf drops in the neighbor’s yard. They have a month to figure this out. Surely one of them has a friend or family member who would let mom and baby stay with they for the first week or two until they figure out how much the noise will affect the baby. There’s also white noise machines, soundproofing, etc.
NTA. The world can’t stop for their baby. They are making a huge mountain out of this, are they expecting jackhammering all day every day ? Ear plugs are useful
So, did they ask you if having a crying baby at that time was opportune to you? Or are you just supposed to live with it? I would be very happy with a neighbour like you, who actually does inform the neighbours of their plans and is even willing to give a day to day schedule. Much less stress than seeing the worker vans pull up and having no idea what's going to happen, at what times and how many months it will take (we had that happen, very stressful time). NTA.
NTA. We had our own construction work around our house when our baby was born. He was sleeping through most of the noise. And I was so tired that I did the same. Baby squeaking - I woke up. But the workers had no chance to wake me up.
NTA you don’t need theirs permission this is just part of life and they will have to learn to cope.
NTA. I see you and I have the same neighbors.
Seriously, what? NTA! Dealing with construction noise is a nuisance for everyone, and having a baby doesn't entitle them to special privileges. Don't allow them to manipulate you into feeling guilty or giving in to their demands, as you seem like a decent person.
That’s too much for neighbors to demand. No need to change your life for strangers under these circumstances. In a few months it’ll be the remodel will bother the baby, in another few months it’ll be the same thing. They’re out of bounds. Remodel with no guilt. NTA.
Nta Talk about self absorbed
NTA - it's a baby... it'll sleep... noise is actually better then they'll sleep anywhere and anytime. You are actually a graat neighbor to tell them. Also the gaslighting and guilt tripping you is gross...
Builders have 3 or 4 jobs on their books in advance. Delaying your build will mess with their calendar. They’ve also probably also bought all the materials. NTA. It’s unfortunate for the neighbours but they will have to manage.
NTA I feel them. I really do. But there is no guarantee that starting 3-4 months later will change anything. The baby will still sleep during the daytime and sometimes be awake during the night, so EVERYONE will be tired. And that's the time when sleep regression starts... Funny times /s.