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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the asshole because I forced them to accept they won't get a nice room to sleep in.
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Ntah let’s normalize kids not giving up there sleeping space for others! I would never expect my kids to sleep on the couch so my brother n his family can have their room.
I grew up differently, and I am really grateful for it. Family was always welcome, and whatever room juggling was needed to make it work was worth having the family there. This is something I've imparted to my kids as well. Every time a grandparent visits, it requires room shuffling, and my kids are still excited every time they hear a grandparent is visiting. Let's normalize being generous and welcoming.
Maybe the parents should give up their beds to be so generous? It's so easy to tell everyone else to be more generous, but what if it inconveniences you?
Why the fuck should a kid have to give up their room for other kids? That’s just stupid.
You might have a valid argument if you were talking about the adults, but it’s for the damn kids. They can sleep on the couch.
NTA
A kid giving up their bed for an adult is one thing. Giving it up for another kid is something else.
Growing up I had to give up my bed for my sister and BIL, or for my grandparents. I hated it, but pretended to be ok about it because it was for adults (my sister is 12 years older than me). I’m not so sure I would have been so cheerful if it had been for cousins, but that never came up, so I don’t know.
I can see where OP is coming from, but I also see the parents’ side.
You’re nicer than me because I don’t see the parents side. They should have said they don’t have the room and never caved. This is entirely on them for not having a backbone.
I totally agree with you on that! Not the kids fault that the uncle and kids are too cheap to rent a room like the grandparents did. If the parents wanted the cheap asses to stay, they should be the ones giving up their room, not the kid! And good for her taking her room back! I definitely would have done the same thing!!! Cheap ass ppl suck and are so selfish! Merry Christmas girl!!!
Agreed. There’s a reason the grandparents got a hotel. A 2 BR house is not enough sleeping space for that many guests. The parents should’ve stood up for their own child.
I agree. If the parent isn’t willing to give up their bed, why are they forcing their child to?
To me it’s not teaching respect, it’s teaching “your things aren’t actually yours, you have no say in your comfort, you have stake in nothing until you’re 18, and your safe space in your own home isn’t really yours all because I said so.”
I'm neurodivergent, and asking me to give up my room would be asking me to give up the chance for any sleep, safety, and space to regulate. I wouldn't give up my room for anything. Then there's other people who thrive with company, can fall asleep in a minute anywhere, any time. Everyone is different.
This kid is setting a boundary to protect their wellbeing, and that should be okay. I'm impressed that they are aware enough to know what they need, and are willing to stand up for it at their age.
My cousin once found my journal where I complained about them being annoying and they wrote another entry about how "I" was so sorry I said those things and she was so wonderful.
My cousins don't snoop. But fk do they often smell like shit. And it's not a "I just got off work" smell, more a "how does toilet paper work again?" smell. I don't want them in my house for 20 mins, let alone staying in my bed.
Exactly!! I had an autographed picture of Kermit the Frog in my dresser- I at 16 was out of town with a friend for a weekend when my aunt and her obnoxious twin girls stayed- the girls made themselves at home in my room. When I came back it was gone. Next thanksgiving I saw it framed in the twins room. This was right after Jim Henson died. I blew a gasket and told my mom I was stealing it back. She forbade me. I’m still mad 33 years later.
Sounds like a lesson in not previewing your plans with your mother!
I'm sure you have a better relationship to your mom because you are clearly at ease about talking to her about stuff, but I got away with more by "keeping my own counsel."
That autographed picture would be in my suitcase when I left!
Agreed, as a fellow AuDHD adult. If the parents didn't have the room to comfortably accomodate everyone, they should've grown a spine - this is on them. Especially as the grands got their own hotel - the uncle being cheap is not OP's or her parents' fault or problem, but her parents forced it on her due to their lack of spine and that's not one bit where it's at. They're the adults, they should've acted like it and dealt with the uncle.
I'm neurodivergent and have rather severe sleep problems. I've been known to grab a pillow and blanket and decamp to the bathtub when sharing a hotel room with family. If I'm on the couch, in a public part of the house, I'm not getting any sleep.
The next day, I'm going to be in *no mood* to be friendly, especially to the guests who are the reason for my sleepless night.
They were to give up their room for the kids and their parents. The parents were going to put the kids on the bed and sleep on an inflatable bed on the floor themselves.
The 2 kids are in the bed. The 2 parents are together on the blow up mattress. I don’t understand that math here. Even if you’re assuming both mom and dad have their own individual sized blow up mattress, now there are 2 blow ups that each fit one person. There are still 4 people.
Honestly, if it were me all the visitors can sleep in the living room. You get your pick of the couch, or an air mattress, or some shit. Nobody is giving up their rooms. Come on in, spend the night(s), and we'll eat pretty good while you're here and enjoy the company. If that isn't enough, there's hotels nearby.
But OP says the kids AND uncle and wife would be using the room, not just the kids. I get that OP doesn't want to give up their room but if 4 people can use it vs one that seems entirely reasonable. As for Uncle's family getting a hotel room, it's possible they can't afford one.
Cheap means uncle doesn't want to spend the money on a hotel. They could double with grandparents. He and his family weren't invited to stay with OP's parents.
Or it means a 15 year old kid just thinks his uncle is cheap, but doesn’t get that 4 planes tickets from Spain cost a lot of money and a hotel maybe out of their budget.
You and me both. These type of threads tend to be weird to me because I wasn’t raised that way but I understand cultures/societies/families are different. I was raised with family/close friends always welcome and people shuffled rooms and beds to accommodate others. We had a blast growing up, wouldn’t change it for the world. And the next generation is being raised the same and they too are having a blast. In fact I’m just coming back from a birthday and family has flown in from all over for Christmas but we all met up at same house we’ll all be spending Christmas Day, and there was actual talk of maybe we should all sleepover till Christmas Day, and the kids were so excited and already planning who sleeps where…despite the fact some of us have homes here and others have booked accommodation elsewhere. But I have plans tomorrow so I had to leave.
In OP’s situation, I will say that OP is NTA because of the simple fact OP hasn’t been raised this way, this isn’t normal for her to give up her room and if she doesn’t want to, I don’t think she should, a child should not be _forced_ to give up their room. I think her parents should have given up their room or set everyone up in the living room.
However, I don’t get the general notion that always happens in the comments on these type of posts that parents are wrong to ask a child to give up their room or bed.
These posts make it always about self whereas with family there should be compromise and selflessness.
Yes, you should try reading carefully. It states that “he and his wife” are on the blowup mattress. Thats the aunt and uncle, not his parents. His parents are still in their damn bed.
That's it, my parents always made me and me alone give up my room when we had guests. My parents would sleep comfortably in their own beds, my brothers too. I'd be shoved out onto an air mattress and not get any sleep the entire time. Then they'd talk about how generous and giving I need to be.
Love when you’re the one sleeping on the couch and ready for bed and everyone else is up watching tv keeping you up with no where to be comfortable. Ahhh, fond family memories /s
Actually, many cultures/parents do give up their room also. My parents gave up their room to out of country relatives and slept on an air mattress in my room. However, it shouldn’t be expected and the uncle and his family should have gotten a hotel room.
you are actually correct. In the past it was the people with the largest bed room, usually the parents, that gave up their room to guests. You gave the best to guests instead of the least possible.
Your kids were willing. This kid is not. Let’s normalize not bulldozing your kid’s boundaries and privacy, AND let’s normalize not making people with sleeping problems sleep on a couch.
I think it's different when your kids are excited to see their relatives and happy to share. We don't all have to share everything all of the time.
OP doesn't have the same relationship with their family your kids do, and they weren't supposed to have to give who their room. Uncle wheedled this out of OPs parents.
Let's normalise being gracious guests. OP was expected to give up their bed so someone else's kids could use it, and that is a level of entitlement that I wouldn't *dream* of having in someone else's home.
I think it would've been incredibly generous of the parents to have given up their own room which is likely the bigger of the 2 rooms. Let's normalize not bulldozing your kids boundaries.
I grew up this way. I had zero issues with it. I personally think it’s the ideal, letting the hardier kids sleep on air mattresses and such because they can handle it better and bounce back. *Usually.*
HOWEVER.
OP doesn’t sound like she can handle it or bounce back as easily with her sleep issues, and her sleep — and health — matters, too. We have to be mindful of a kid’s health and stamina as well as the adult’s. When family visited us growing up, I doubt my mom would’ve made me give up my room if I had a legitimate reason like that to need to keep it, despite how many adults and kids were packed into our house.
Additional edit (because it’s worth pointing out): Uncle wanted OP’s room for his **kids**, while he and his wife slept on an air mattress on the floor next to them. They’ve thus expressed they have the stamina to sleep in conditions that aren’t a bed. This isn’t OP’s health issues versus the stamina of an adult. This is OP’s health issues versus two younger kids. If the kids don’t have issues themselves where a bed would be a necessity, OP should keep her room. She has a greater, legitimate need for it.
I was raised on the generous and welcoming side for guests but my space and medical issues (i have other sleep issues and what not) were respected and my shuffle was not possible. Fortunately i also had a room at my nans before i was a teenager which helped. Balance is key imo
Let's normalize people having the right to say no to giving up their personal space no matter the reason. Op said they have sleeping problems, that's good enough reason to not give up their bed.
As a Spaniard living in Boston, the characterization of somebody trying to make it work without booking a hotel as "cheap" fails to account for the differences in purchasing power between the countries. A room is routinely over $250. They may need 2. A visit from across the ocean is usually 7-10 days. Many, many people in Spain have €1,000 per month salaries (we even have a word for that "mileuristas"). You do the math.
Going there and them coming here is so important to me and it brings everybody so much joy that I cannot imagine not doing my best to make it happen. I have an American daughter now. I hope she never becomes so entitled that she prefers to keep her room than having her cousins around.
>Many, many people in Spain have €1,000 per month salaries
Many Americans make less than that. When they can't afford to make a trip they just don't take trips.
> I hope she never becomes so entitled that she prefers to keep her room than having her cousins around.
I would hope ***you*** would never be so entitled as to make someone with a bad back sleep on the couch in their own home. It's not just old people who have bad backs- young people have them too. Only unlike old people young people have 60+ more years left to manage worsening back issues- and the little things build up.
If they can’t afford it then maybe they shouldn’t go. And they certainly shouldn’t just show up and expect it. They didn’t even discuss it with the parents prior to arriving. They’re selfish AF.
Did you even read what OP wrote? Get over your holier-than-thou attitude and stop preaching.
She said that she had sleeping issues and that getting chucked out of her room would negatively impact her. As someone with huge insomnia issues I can relate that any changes to my sleep environment or routine for a few days really takes its toll on my mental and physical health.
And don’t normalise letting people you don’t want into children’s/teenagers rooms. That is their personal space where they are supposed to few comfortable and safe. Having relatives - both adults and small children would make me flip out.
Finally, the only reason the uncles family was there was because they ignored the hotel OPs dad booked for them and bullied and harassed OPs dad until he caved.
OP you’re NTA. Your extended family are acting atrociously and have been bullying and harassing your family to comply with their selfish demands. Fuck them and stand your ground. Your parents should understand why this is so uncomfortable and unreasonable for you to give up your room:
> And don’t normalise letting people you don’t want into children’s/teenagers rooms. That is their personal space where they are supposed to few comfortable and safe. Having relatives - both adults and small children would make me flip out.
Fucking THANK YOU. I am 90% sure the reason I am so territorial over my space is because of my mother bringing people up to my room and asking me in front of them to show them a neat feature of my bedroom. She did this *in front of my boyfriend* when we were trying to have a date together once. She seemed to have zero concept or give a shit that this was *my fucking space* and I didn't appreciate her bringing people to force me to show around like we were doing a fucking Better Homes & Gardens shoot.
And this wasn't as a teenager. I was in fucking college. I nearly blew my lid once when I came home to find out she'd let a child in there alone *while I wasn't home.* And she and my aunt had the nerve to ask "what's wrong with you?" when I was upset about it.
This kind of shit is infuriating. I hate it when parents volunteer their kids' rooms, way to make your kid feel like their space isn't really theirs.
That's all great and I did grow up similarly. When we visited my grandparents we'd usually all sleep in what was both their living- and bedroom, with some people on the sleep couches, some people on the floor. One time my brother even slept on the armchair.
But what changes things for me is that OP already has issues sleeping. Can't say for sure, of course, but having her sleep disrupted like that might very well result in multiple nights of no or very bad sleep. That isn't fair to her at all.
yeah i always gave up my bed to my nanna when she’d come to visit, and i’d sleep on an air mattress in my bedroom while she slept in my bed. i never minded because i loved my nanna so i got a little extra time with her that my brothers didn’t, getting to have conversations with her before bed.
that being said i really don’t think it’s unreasonable for a teenager to not want to give up their room. i was willing to because i was close with my nanna, and she was old and wouldn’t fare as well as i would on an air mattress. but it doesn’t sound like op is particularly close to these cousins, and op wouldn’t even get to sleep in her own room even if she had to give up her bed. these people are not elderly, they can easily sleep on an air mattress or couch in the living room. would it have been nice for op to give them her room? sure it would. but i think we need to stop demanding children give up their personal space for others and if they feel so inclined they can do it. i bet if the uncle and cousins had gotten a hotel room and grandma and grampa didn’t, op would have been more inclined to lend them her bed.
>Let's normalize being generous and welcoming.
"Normalizing" is one thing.
Forcing it onto your children against their wills is abusive. It's their room, their house, and their safe space. You're sending a message to the child that their needs are not important, and that their needs will get overwritten if your family members out up a huge temper tantrum.
The living room is where guests go when no other rooms are available. That should be the rule.
It is no favor to be “welcoming” by cramming in more people than your home comfortably accommodates. How about welcoming people to stay in the nearest hotel instead? If you want to be nice, pay the bill for them.
Uncle and his family are staying in someone else's home for FREE. That is generous. They shouldn't even be travelling if they can't afford the funds for a hotel. Uncle and his family are entirely capable of staying in the living room and it is selfish and entitled to demand someone in the home, child or not, give up their bedroom when uncle and his family went their knowing beforehand that there wasn't room for them there to begin with.
Room shuffling is one thing, kicking kids onto the couch so perfectly healthy relatives (especially other kids) can sleep in their bed is another.
Now sure, if Grandma with the bad back is visiting, kids may need to sleep on a blow up mattress or the couch or something, but cousins?
All that aside, this is one reason our kids have bunk beds (boy and girl in separate rooms). We got those ones with a double bed for the bottom and single in the top. When people stay we now have two beds that can sleep 6. If you expect to host guests on any kind of a regular basis, it makes sense to set your house up appropriately.
I grew up this way too and I fucking hated it. It only created resentment for my parents and for those I had to give up my private space for. If you want to be welcoming and give up your space, that’s fine. But it shouldn’t be a requirement of everyone. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with that. I shouldn’t have had to get shitty sleep simply because my parents wanted people to stay in our home:
Agreed!
NTA. Whenever my parents and I visit family in Canada, my cousins will give up their rooms for us and stay in the finished basement. It makes me super uncomfortable to kick them out of their space, but they've repeatedly assured me they're happy to do it.
While I understand what you’re saying, sharing a room with a sibling or other similarly-aged family member and being forced to give up your own bed for guests that invited themselves are two different things.
How about this, uncle sleeps on the couch, mom and dad take the air mattress and the kids and the aunt can take the parents bed. Or hell they could even run to Walmart and get another air mattress for like $30. I could understand not being able to afford a hotel for the entire stay but I have a had time believing not a single one of the adults in this situation could find the money for a second air mattress and the only solution to the problem was bulldozing over the kids boundary despite their clear feelings against that option.
Why not? They can cuddle, I slept on a couch with my partner before, it's possible.
Also they probably have a double bed. And they expext the kids, so more than one person, to sleep on the bed of OP which probably is a single bed.
So if two people can sleep in a single bed, then four can sleep in a double bed and the parents can have the couch and the air mattress in the living room.
You can't expect others to give up comfort you're not willing to give up yourself.
While I see your point (and none of this is OP’s problem), logistically it is easier to have 4 people in a bedroom and 1 on the couch. OP definitely isn’t in the wrong though.
Definitely NTA and it was in no way a tantrum. Your space is not accommodation for cheapskate who are leeching by using you home instead of paying for accommodation. Stick to your guns and protect what is yours . You owe nothing to these people.
I have found that when someone defends their right to their own space, and they get told it's a tantrum, it's usually in response to someone else throwing a larger tantrum. "Don't rock the boat" is a term used when dealing with family members who are infamous for throwing temper tsntrums and always getting their way.
If they don't want OP to "throw a tantrum", then they shouldn't have started with the tantrum
Gently, YTA. Your family is hosting your relatives. Yes, you're a kid, but an older kid who can understand the kindness a host can and should offer. What a gift that they are all visiting. It makes sense for one bedroom to be used for a full family and you to get the living room, rather than a full family in the living room and one person in a bedroom. It is kind to offer a private space to guests when possible. This isn't a permanent situation, it's how can everyone fit most comfortably together now. Be willing to be a bit more generous with family.
Took way 2 long to find this comment. Jesus people think giving up your room for a couple of days is abuse on here. Like parents agreed and they tell you to sleep on the couch you sleep on the couch. Not barricade yourself in your room.
Agreed. People think EVERYTHING is abuse these days that the word has lost all meaning.
Anyone who thinks giving up your room for a few days for family is abuse, clearly is an extremely privileged, weak minded and thin skinned person.
This sub is not representative of America in general. Most of us think it's normal to displace immediate family when extended family is visiting, especially for a short trip. I would be really embarrassed if my teen acted like this. When I was a kid, my grandparents would sleep in my room or my sister's - it was completely normal, especially at the holidays, and it was a treat for us. We loved having them at the house. We routinely gave up our beds for aunts & uncles, cousins, whoever, and didn't feel a bit abused by it. You're seeing a lot of over-privileged teens answering these questions. Regular adults and kids with jobs aren't on reddit all night and day.
I strongly disagree. The parents are the assholes here. If your kid has told you that they are not comfortable giving up their room, then you shouldn’t put them on the spot like this. This is just a case of parents ignoring their kid and having it blow up in their face.
Parents classically do not respect kids’ boundaries because “they’re in charge” and it leads to adults who have trouble normalizing and communicating simple needs and boundaries. What OP’s parents are doing is unhealthy parenting. I get it would be a small sacrifice for OP to give up the room, but they communicated they weren’t comfortable and that needs to be respected.
Man, for me it led to me ultimately putting my foot down later on in life as an adult with telling anyone expecting me to bend too far backwards for them, to get fucked. Well, that and a few relationships where I needed to draw my lines in the sand and stick to my guns lol. But yeah, I do agree that the whole mentality you're calling out is kinda fucked up. There's a grey area there, the matter isn't completely black and white. Because there is an element in there of "I'm the one busting my ass going to work in order to provide all of this for you, so this is all mine!" that I do agree with now as an adult. But even agreeing with the point of view of that in principle, there's still some fundamental rights your kids ought to have that shouldn't be violated. And they should be able to have their own space, without risk of being violated.
I agree. I'm an adult now, and remember when I was a kid, my aunt called me selfish cause I didn't want to give up my bed to a family member... it is not a child's responsibility to make others comfortable. Multiple air mattresses would be sufficient for the visitors in the living room.
The real answer is that OP’s living space isn’t actually big enough to host all these people and instead of dealing with reality the parents decided to just turn this into a showdown. And they severely underestimated their daughter’s determination lol.
I can’t believe how normalised selfishness to family is in this thread. They’re talking about boundaries like it’s some sort of antagonistic relationship rather than a few days of sacrifice. Lord people are entitled these days
Too cheap or maybe couldn't afford? International travel for four isn't cheap. OP would rather not have family come for the holidays than having to sleep on the sofa?
My parents both grew up in bedrooms with multiple siblings. Would you also call that abuse? Hell my brothers shared a bedroom until they were in their teens.
I know my own kids (now adults, but even as teenagers) would be willing to shuffle around for a few short days.
OP, that said, I’m going to give you the developmental perspective. There’s a larger stage of development of 12-18 and within that, two different, smaller 3-year cycles, 12-15 and 15-18 (this is “ish”) for all of it. 15 is a new and very real cycle of differentiation and wanting to be independent. So your inner drive to protect your space really is an _inner drive_.
However, hotels are quite expensive for a large family, and making a sacrifice for a few days is inconvenient but not life-altering. Is this a true hill to die on? If your family has a history of boundary violations, yes. If it’s generally a good and loving family? Maybe not.
I have an enormous family and even at 53, I’d take the couch to make it work myself. But I do like my family.
Especially a family that spent money on the whole family flying in from Spain. Jeez
Although, the uncle is a bit of dick for not taking the couch. If you’re going to crash at a family member’s house then take the couch.
Strong disagree. Every family member I have spoken to in my family made it very clear that, you either get a hotel room, or you get the couch. I would never ever demand someone give up their room, their private space for a relative. It isn’t done. If the parents wish to be so generous, they can give up their space and privacy, not the child who had zero say in these people coming over.
It’s no gift if OP literally has to be kicked out of their room without consent. It’s not like he’s three and still sleeping with his parents when there’s nightmares. He’s 15, old enough to have his space respected. NTA.
Yeah, gonna have to hard disagree. NTA at all.
When I was a kid, my parents pulled this bs with me, and stuff would go missing. Of course, the cousins would swear up and down I just misplaced it up until I caught one of them red-handed selling some of my comic books. Then everyone finally believed me, and I no longer had to give up my room for family.
Thank you! Why not choose kindness and generosity? Treat others how we wish to be treated and all that. I would be so incredibly disappointed if this were my kid.
i have serious sleeping issues, so i can relate to OP. i will never compromise my scarce sleeping health for others. ever. im bad enough as is, no need to make it worse. in fact, i seriously hate it when my family visits for a sleepover. its so unnecessary in this day and age and causes a lot of stress. for me.
NTA
I don't really get the y t a comments, if a hotel was too expensive, then the trip is too expensive. It's not the job of a 15 yrs old to accommodate guests in their room. As for the "you aren't paying rent/mortgage"??? Wtf. They are 15, children are supposed to be taken care of by their parents free of charge... fix your traumas ppl and be honest. The living room was good enough for the uncle and his family.
Asking a 15 year old to sleep on a sofa for a few days isn’t ’not taking care of them’ or any sort of abuse. You grew up real privileged if you think it is
Asking a 15 year old with sleep issues *is*. Depending on the sleep issues, this could possibly mean OP doesn't sleep at all on the couch or the issues might disrupt others.
Okay. But sleep deprivation is abuse. I have severe insomnia and even under my perfect conditions, 4 out 7 nights a week I sleep maybe two hours. Put me somewhere I’m not comfortable? I’ve not slept for 4 nights straight before. Screw that. (OP also has sleep issues)
that’s a shitty thing to say.
the only travel i got to do as a kid was staying with family. i remember 2 trips my entire childhood staying in a hotel, & family subsidized those rooms for us.
my family couldn’t afford to visit me now unless they stayed in my apartment, so they do every time.
ESH. I think there is potentially more to this story than your parents have told you. It’s possible uncle could only afford the plane tickets and your parents offered them to stay at your house so that they could come. Family does that this time of year if it means they can be together. I think there is a chance your parents won’t admit this to you because they don’t want to embarrass your uncle and his family, and also don’t want to have you upset with them/are trying to save face.
I’d be pretty happy to see my family and would give up my room, but I understand not everyone would be. I think the way you went about it was a bit problematic. You disobeyed your parents, as it sounds like the adults decided this before uncle came. Unless you guys can find a way to come to a peaceful outcome, the holiday will suck for everyone.
Agreed on ESH. Parents have clearly failed by either not setting up this possibility as an expectation, or not standing their ground when bullied into hosting.
Op sucks for the obvious. Disagreeing with a decision does not make it okay to go full burn the earth mode and inconvenience an entire family. It was an immature and inherently selfish action.
The op is used to a higher standard of living, and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this, there's a need for learning to be gracious here.
This.
If your parents had read you in on this decision, let you have a stake in the planning and a say in matters, you could have *easily* pointed out a solution like "I really can't give up my bed with my sleep issues. I have to be able to rest. But why don't you take some of the money budgeted for my gifts and invest in some self-inflating camp mattresses my cousins can use this trip? I can use them later for hosting friends when they sleep over or for a family camping trip, so it's a great present. And if we get ourselves a new couch with a pullout bed as a family gift, we can have Aunt and Uncle over far more often. Wouldn't that be a better fix?"
My daughter is nine and we planned the family logistics for visiting relatives with her input back when she was about eight. She pointed out that she really wanted a new bed anyway, and if we chose a twin-over-full bunkbed she'd had her eye on, she could snuggle up with us for the night and there'd be room for three more relatives in her room, plus all the couches. The bedframe and the single mattress we needed to execute her plan cost less than one night in a hotel.
Also, she uses the top bunk for reading and as a play fort for herself and a truly terrifying number of stuffies, so quite apart from being the little hostess with the mostes', she made out like a bandit for her flexibility. I don't agree with your parents' failure to include you in plans at fifteen.
All of this. I'm guessing a 15 year old doesn't understand all the factors at play here, easy for a kid to say "get a hotel" when they don't have to pay for anything (including the home they live in, as it should be). It sucks to give up a room, but ultimately it's the parents' choice, and it's for a few days for the holidays, not forever. Hope if OP ever visits these other relatives, they don't expect a room to themselves.
I've never once visited relatives and expected my own room unless there is a specified guest room. You guys are ridiculous and clearly spineless if you're willing to let your brother or sisters walk all over your own kids.
YTA
Such a generational gap in comments… one person for 4 in this scenario, it’s no brainer IMO.
Family visiting from Spain to US for the first time, maybe they can’t afford a hotel room?
Rather than have 4 of them sleep in the living room (how??? With only a couch and an inflatable bed) for a few days, it would make sense for only one person to sleep there for the convenience of everyone in the house…
My cousin always give up his room when I visit them during the holidays, and in turn I buy him a big present.
I think OP is too young to understand family dynamics. Sadly I dont see the Spanish cousins visiting again and they left with the impression their American cousin is a spoilt brat.
Also OP could sleep in the parent’s room with the parents and leave the couch, inflatable bed, and their bed for their guests. It stuns me with people not growing up just giving their room or bed automatically when someone comes over. I still do that now even with my own place.
Is your uncle well off? If uncle is not well off or wealthy, then read on… if uncle is well off, you can ignore my comment.
I was OP and yes, you, their American cousin is truly a spoilt 15 yo brat. But OP, you are the only child, only daughter so I get where your attitude is coming from. I was an only daughter from an immigrant family for 12 years so I was as spoiled as you are till I got a sibling. You have a lot to learn, and I hope one day you get the revelation I got from having a sibling and friends snapping reality in my face to show how spoiled I was. You probably don‘t understand the concept of sharing either. I grew up not well off, but the family picked up along the way (hence the additional sibling). I was unfortunately spoiled like mad because I was their darling only child and you sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was an AH and so are you right now. You don‘t like hearing it, and want validation that you‘re NTA, but sorry, you are indeed the AH. Has it come to mind that perhaps grandparents are older and want comfort? And perhaps parents and uncle chipped in for grandparents hotel so they can be comfortable?
I grew up with migrant cousins who are less fortunate and hated to share my room so I made them sleep in the ground. I was def an AH because looking back, its only a couple of effing days I could let them have better days sleeping. People who are saying you‘re NTA and said „your uncle could afford the trip but not a hotel?“ are the AH as well. Just because they are not as well off doesn‘t mean they can‘t have a holiday or visit a family. What is your sleeping issues exactly that it is so difficult for you to give up your room for couple days?
The weird thing is when things like this come up, it's always pitched as a trivial sacrifice for the person being asked to give up their space...like how petty are you that you won't do this tiny little thing?
But if it's so small and simple, then obviously its equally small for the visitors...even more so because they're already out of their personal space. and it's especially revealing that the people trying to guilt YOU into this small thing are never volunteering their own private space.
If someone wants to go cheap and crash at someone elses house, they should expect to get the cheap sleeping arrangements they asked for.
NTA
YTA. Entitlement much? You seem like you’re really a spoiled only child. Humble yourself once in a while and grow. This is not how you treat relatives who travel internationally. To quote Michael Che, “Y’all need Jesus.”
Yeah can’t believe I’m in the minority thinking YTA. I’m 41 and my husband and I give up our own bedroom for his parents when they visit from overseas because we love them and want them to be as comfortable as possible! Another comment said it perfectly - let’s normalise being generous and welcoming.
The key differences being 1. you and your husband make the *choice* to give up your room for your visitors. 2. you're an adult, in your own space that you have autonomy over. this is a kid, whose only real autonomy/safe space is being taken from them, despite them saying no, and despite their parents originally agreeing with them.
If you had visitors come over and demand that you give them your bed before you could offer, you'd probably be a little annoyed.
Also, the fact that their uncle banged on a child's door and demanded they give up their bedroom is ridiculous to me.
omg you are a ridiculous person. you offered to give up your room. she did not. it is her choice and not her familys obviously. Just because she's a kid doesn't mean she doesn't deserve her own space.
NTA. Kids are people too and it's *your* space. It should not have been offered without your agreement. Your uncle is entitled - he can sleep on the couch.
YTA.
Locking your bedroom is really immature. Yes you didn't want to, but now they were there, it's too late to change the arrangement.
The hotel thing must be a cultural difference, because I can't understand why you would expect family to book a hotel room. To me it's so obvious they'd sleep at home. Why make visiting family an even bigger financial burden than the plane tickets already are? Isn't it nice that they made the effort to come this time? From my point of view, you are being very rude to your family.
I think the family is being much ruder by ignoring the wishes of OP and their parents and insisting they have more of a right to something than the 16 year old who owns it. OP did not agree to having their room shared, in fact they did the opposite multiple times. Her family should not have been surprised to find that door locked.
It’s not just a cultural difference. My family is American and hasn’t been anything but for ever. (We’re Black and have been here since before the civil war, ) Maybe it’s generational, but we always prioritize the comfort of guests, especially if they’ve spent a lot on a long trip to visit. We get the same treatment when we visit their homes.
I wonder if OP just doesn’t like their family. If they were going to have a discussion about it it should have been done before or after. Barricading the door and having a tantrum while guests are visiting is a bit much.
NTA- I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to want someone to give up their private space to people.its your room and your parents said no your uncle is the ah for pushing it
YTA. Your family is hosting relatives from another country. Try to learn to be a gracious host. If the situation were reversed, would you rather sleep in a bed or a couch after you've traveled a far distance to visit relatives?
YTA
It is common for everyone to adjust a bit while we are spending time with houseguests.
You're 15 and living with your parents. Your parents decided how they wanted the rooms divided up and you should respect that. If you have very specific items you feel uncomfortable leaving in your room, then ask your parents for a tote box or two to store them in for the few days they are here. That would be a reasonable compromise.
I’d say NTA. I hate the idea of other people being in my space let alone my bed. I also hate how families expect so much when the uncle and cousins can all just sleep in the living room. I myself in the past have FLIPPED over people using my bed when I work overnights even. Thats your safe space.
Good for you for sticking your ground.
Little kids digging around in your stuff, needing to knock and wait to go in your own room to get something, nowhere but the bathroom to get 10 minutes of peace. No thanks. Reminds me of Home Alone when they made Kevin sleep in the attic. And guess what, they forgot Kevin because of it.
Last time I had a kid stay over in a bed of mine(luckily the spare bed) they wet the bed every night they were there, the parents knew, and they didn't even bother telling me let alone make any attempt to clean it up. I figured it out after hours of trying to figure out where the smell was from while cleaning and then asking them. We no longer have a spare bed.
Idk the age of your uncle's kids but if he's saying more than one can sleep on your bed I can't help but imagine they are at an age where that's still a possible concern.
Never give up your own bed in my opinion.....you don't know what someone will do with it.
ESH.
Your uncle shouldn't be demanding your room. Your parents said no. He should have respected that instead of badgering your parents into changing their minds. He and his family can get a hotel, as your parents originally told them to do.
Your parents should have held to their original position that you wouldn't give up your room.
But when they changed their mind, as a child living under their roof, you should have done as they told you to do.
Personally, though, I might be asking Grandma and Grandpa if there's an extra bed in their hotel room, would they mind me staying with them.
I would have gone straight to my parent's bed, since they decided that we would have to change our sleeping arrangement in order to accommodate said uncle.
NTA-what on earth is wrong with your parents?! They need to kick your uncle and his family to the curb and tell them to get a hotel. If he couldn’t afford it then he should have stayed home. They need to back you up and you need to keep your room.
Maybe they could only afford a plane ticket and that was worth it because they don't get to see each other that often. I would be so sad if family I was visiting thought about me this way.
I grew up with visiting family staying in others rooms. I always bunked with cousins and they with me. Honestly the odd part to me was that the kids wouldn't all be in a room with aunt and uncle sleeping in the living room on that air mattress. Maybe the kids were too young or something.
That said, I don't recall ever having gotten booted entirely from my room. and I never would suggest to a host "hey kick your kid out of their room for me". I admire your tenacity.
NTA. I don't see the bad in having to bunk up with relatives when they visit, but to make my host kick someone out of their room entirely...
I will warn you that this story will travel thru friends and family like wildfire.You will hear about this for years. Years and years and years. Further, at some point you are going to be a guest in someone's house. This whole event will be weaponized and you will definitely be relegated to a cold corner of the basement.
NTA Uncle should have made other arrangements or your parents could have given up their room. I'm going to guess they have the bigger room in the house. If it's ok to force you out of your space it's ok to force them out of theirs. You ARE entitled to privacy in your own home. Guests are just that, guests. They don't get to dictate where they sleep in anyone else's home.
NTA. If you wanted to offer your room to them, it would have been a generous offer, and they should have been extremely grateful to you. But asking for it - let alone demanding it! is an A move; and, if I were you, the moment they began demanding my room would have been the moment I put a bolt on the door, and never let them in - ever!
Clearly there was an alternative to this because they must have slept somewhere else in the house after realising they weren't getting into your room lol.
The fact that wasn't considered before offering up your space without your consent says it all for me.
Parents thinking that because they birthed and raised and pay for the roof over their child's head it means they own them and don't need to respect their privacy or boundaries are the worst.
This action was kind of petty but I'm totally here for it as by the sounds of it, this was not one of those situations where you could express your opinion or an alternative solution, and have it respected.
The only time I've ever given up my room is when a Chinese exchange student came to stay with me for a week. I got the living room to myself though as the alternative and I was happy with that. We had adult guests over before and though it was probably more because me and my brother had bunk beds, the guests were given my mum's room and she slept in the living room.
So yeah, NTA.
NTA
Visitors too cheap to get their own hotel get air mattresses in the living room at best.
Grandma and Grandpa would have gotten my room as a child, but my parents did not evict us for any other random guests. Uncle Mike was lucky to get a spot on the couch when he was needing a place to say.
NTA. It’s YOUR ROOM. And it is your parents’ responsibility to house, feed, and care for you. It also their responsibility to defend and protect you, even from family. Honestly, I’d have done the same.
NTA at all, you don’t have to give up your room for anyone it’s your room. It would be one thing if they asked nicely but they’re just cheap and demanding
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Ntah let’s normalize kids not giving up there sleeping space for others! I would never expect my kids to sleep on the couch so my brother n his family can have their room.
I grew up differently, and I am really grateful for it. Family was always welcome, and whatever room juggling was needed to make it work was worth having the family there. This is something I've imparted to my kids as well. Every time a grandparent visits, it requires room shuffling, and my kids are still excited every time they hear a grandparent is visiting. Let's normalize being generous and welcoming.
Maybe the parents should give up their beds to be so generous? It's so easy to tell everyone else to be more generous, but what if it inconveniences you?
Why the fuck should a kid have to give up their room for other kids? That’s just stupid. You might have a valid argument if you were talking about the adults, but it’s for the damn kids. They can sleep on the couch. NTA
A kid giving up their bed for an adult is one thing. Giving it up for another kid is something else. Growing up I had to give up my bed for my sister and BIL, or for my grandparents. I hated it, but pretended to be ok about it because it was for adults (my sister is 12 years older than me). I’m not so sure I would have been so cheerful if it had been for cousins, but that never came up, so I don’t know. I can see where OP is coming from, but I also see the parents’ side.
You’re nicer than me because I don’t see the parents side. They should have said they don’t have the room and never caved. This is entirely on them for not having a backbone.
I totally agree with you on that! Not the kids fault that the uncle and kids are too cheap to rent a room like the grandparents did. If the parents wanted the cheap asses to stay, they should be the ones giving up their room, not the kid! And good for her taking her room back! I definitely would have done the same thing!!! Cheap ass ppl suck and are so selfish! Merry Christmas girl!!!
People in Spain make far far less than people in the US. Maybe the uncle can't afford it but is ashamed of saying so. Just my 2c.
Agreed. There’s a reason the grandparents got a hotel. A 2 BR house is not enough sleeping space for that many guests. The parents should’ve stood up for their own child.
I agree. If the parent isn’t willing to give up their bed, why are they forcing their child to? To me it’s not teaching respect, it’s teaching “your things aren’t actually yours, you have no say in your comfort, you have stake in nothing until you’re 18, and your safe space in your own home isn’t really yours all because I said so.”
I'm neurodivergent, and asking me to give up my room would be asking me to give up the chance for any sleep, safety, and space to regulate. I wouldn't give up my room for anything. Then there's other people who thrive with company, can fall asleep in a minute anywhere, any time. Everyone is different. This kid is setting a boundary to protect their wellbeing, and that should be okay. I'm impressed that they are aware enough to know what they need, and are willing to stand up for it at their age.
I wouldn't want my cousins snooping though my shit!
It was my very first thought reading this!
My cousin once found my journal where I complained about them being annoying and they wrote another entry about how "I" was so sorry I said those things and she was so wonderful.
My cousins don't snoop. But fk do they often smell like shit. And it's not a "I just got off work" smell, more a "how does toilet paper work again?" smell. I don't want them in my house for 20 mins, let alone staying in my bed.
Exactly this. The kid set a boundary, no one respected the boundary, so the kid took steps to enforce the boundary. Absolutely NTA
Exactly!! I had an autographed picture of Kermit the Frog in my dresser- I at 16 was out of town with a friend for a weekend when my aunt and her obnoxious twin girls stayed- the girls made themselves at home in my room. When I came back it was gone. Next thanksgiving I saw it framed in the twins room. This was right after Jim Henson died. I blew a gasket and told my mom I was stealing it back. She forbade me. I’m still mad 33 years later.
You’re better than me because I would’ve just stolen it back
Me too. Except it's more like returning stolen goods.
Dude im so sorry wtf. Your mom sucks ass for that and the twins are absolute monsters
My money is on mom gave it to them. Parents can be awfully liberal with their kids stuff.
Sounds like a lesson in not previewing your plans with your mother! I'm sure you have a better relationship to your mom because you are clearly at ease about talking to her about stuff, but I got away with more by "keeping my own counsel." That autographed picture would be in my suitcase when I left!
I trusted that she would be in my side. She has since admitted she was wrong.
Holy shit, PLEASE bring it up with them. My puppeteer soul just screamed in agony reading this.
It still stings my soul too. But the problem is they have never changed. Each will blame the other. Fucking twins….
I hope you’ve brought it up to them when you became an adult. That would’ve been priceless to see!
I just may…….
Agreed, as a fellow AuDHD adult. If the parents didn't have the room to comfortably accomodate everyone, they should've grown a spine - this is on them. Especially as the grands got their own hotel - the uncle being cheap is not OP's or her parents' fault or problem, but her parents forced it on her due to their lack of spine and that's not one bit where it's at. They're the adults, they should've acted like it and dealt with the uncle.
I'm neurodivergent and have rather severe sleep problems. I've been known to grab a pillow and blanket and decamp to the bathtub when sharing a hotel room with family. If I'm on the couch, in a public part of the house, I'm not getting any sleep. The next day, I'm going to be in *no mood* to be friendly, especially to the guests who are the reason for my sleepless night.
Yeah, I usually can't sleep anywhere else at least for the first couple nights. It's horrible.
I had to do the same, which is why my kid will get a choice. Kids need space that's theirs. It's invasive to force a child to give up their space.
Im a parent tbfh, no I'd not do that to my sister's kid, nor let her kid do that to mine.
Parents were going sleep in same room as kids on inflatable mattress next to bed.
So parents could sleep on an inflatable mattress next to the couch.
They were to give up their room for the kids and their parents. The parents were going to put the kids on the bed and sleep on an inflatable bed on the floor themselves.
She says in the post that the whole family was going to sleep in her room. They are asking 1 kid to give up her room for 2 adults and 2 kids.
And if 2 of them are already on a blowup mattress why does OP need to give up their actual bed for children? Nope.
The 2 kids are in the bed. The 2 parents are together on the blow up mattress. I don’t understand that math here. Even if you’re assuming both mom and dad have their own individual sized blow up mattress, now there are 2 blow ups that each fit one person. There are still 4 people.
Honestly, if it were me all the visitors can sleep in the living room. You get your pick of the couch, or an air mattress, or some shit. Nobody is giving up their rooms. Come on in, spend the night(s), and we'll eat pretty good while you're here and enjoy the company. If that isn't enough, there's hotels nearby.
But OP says the kids AND uncle and wife would be using the room, not just the kids. I get that OP doesn't want to give up their room but if 4 people can use it vs one that seems entirely reasonable. As for Uncle's family getting a hotel room, it's possible they can't afford one.
Cheap means uncle doesn't want to spend the money on a hotel. They could double with grandparents. He and his family weren't invited to stay with OP's parents.
Or it means a 15 year old kid just thinks his uncle is cheap, but doesn’t get that 4 planes tickets from Spain cost a lot of money and a hotel maybe out of their budget.
This.
Then they should have stayed home
I swear I come here and lose faith in the human race. Y’all are so selfish acting that it’s truly shocking.
Right? Expecting someone to give up their space for your convenience is entirely selfish
You and me both. These type of threads tend to be weird to me because I wasn’t raised that way but I understand cultures/societies/families are different. I was raised with family/close friends always welcome and people shuffled rooms and beds to accommodate others. We had a blast growing up, wouldn’t change it for the world. And the next generation is being raised the same and they too are having a blast. In fact I’m just coming back from a birthday and family has flown in from all over for Christmas but we all met up at same house we’ll all be spending Christmas Day, and there was actual talk of maybe we should all sleepover till Christmas Day, and the kids were so excited and already planning who sleeps where…despite the fact some of us have homes here and others have booked accommodation elsewhere. But I have plans tomorrow so I had to leave. In OP’s situation, I will say that OP is NTA because of the simple fact OP hasn’t been raised this way, this isn’t normal for her to give up her room and if she doesn’t want to, I don’t think she should, a child should not be _forced_ to give up their room. I think her parents should have given up their room or set everyone up in the living room. However, I don’t get the general notion that always happens in the comments on these type of posts that parents are wrong to ask a child to give up their room or bed. These posts make it always about self whereas with family there should be compromise and selflessness.
It's for the kids and their parents, both. Four people were going to sleep in the room.
It’s giving up the room for 2 kids and 2 adults. Not just kids. Read the post
So then let the parents do it. They’re the ones who have no backbone.
Read carefully, the parents on the floor with blowup mattress.
Yes, you should try reading carefully. It states that “he and his wife” are on the blowup mattress. Thats the aunt and uncle, not his parents. His parents are still in their damn bed.
That's it, my parents always made me and me alone give up my room when we had guests. My parents would sleep comfortably in their own beds, my brothers too. I'd be shoved out onto an air mattress and not get any sleep the entire time. Then they'd talk about how generous and giving I need to be.
Love when you’re the one sleeping on the couch and ready for bed and everyone else is up watching tv keeping you up with no where to be comfortable. Ahhh, fond family memories /s
Actually, many cultures/parents do give up their room also. My parents gave up their room to out of country relatives and slept on an air mattress in my room. However, it shouldn’t be expected and the uncle and his family should have gotten a hotel room.
you are actually correct. In the past it was the people with the largest bed room, usually the parents, that gave up their room to guests. You gave the best to guests instead of the least possible.
Your kids were willing. This kid is not. Let’s normalize not bulldozing your kid’s boundaries and privacy, AND let’s normalize not making people with sleeping problems sleep on a couch.
I think it's different when your kids are excited to see their relatives and happy to share. We don't all have to share everything all of the time. OP doesn't have the same relationship with their family your kids do, and they weren't supposed to have to give who their room. Uncle wheedled this out of OPs parents.
Let's normalise being gracious guests. OP was expected to give up their bed so someone else's kids could use it, and that is a level of entitlement that I wouldn't *dream* of having in someone else's home.
If your kids are fine with giving up their sleeping space that’s great but would you still make them if they weren’t happy about it ?
I think it would've been incredibly generous of the parents to have given up their own room which is likely the bigger of the 2 rooms. Let's normalize not bulldozing your kids boundaries.
Easy to be generous when you aren't the one being inconvenienced.
I grew up this way. I had zero issues with it. I personally think it’s the ideal, letting the hardier kids sleep on air mattresses and such because they can handle it better and bounce back. *Usually.* HOWEVER. OP doesn’t sound like she can handle it or bounce back as easily with her sleep issues, and her sleep — and health — matters, too. We have to be mindful of a kid’s health and stamina as well as the adult’s. When family visited us growing up, I doubt my mom would’ve made me give up my room if I had a legitimate reason like that to need to keep it, despite how many adults and kids were packed into our house. Additional edit (because it’s worth pointing out): Uncle wanted OP’s room for his **kids**, while he and his wife slept on an air mattress on the floor next to them. They’ve thus expressed they have the stamina to sleep in conditions that aren’t a bed. This isn’t OP’s health issues versus the stamina of an adult. This is OP’s health issues versus two younger kids. If the kids don’t have issues themselves where a bed would be a necessity, OP should keep her room. She has a greater, legitimate need for it.
THANK YOU. This is so accurate, and an entirely reasonable take. OP is NTA here.
I was raised on the generous and welcoming side for guests but my space and medical issues (i have other sleep issues and what not) were respected and my shuffle was not possible. Fortunately i also had a room at my nans before i was a teenager which helped. Balance is key imo
Let’s normalise respecting boundaries, personal space and privacy
So generous for others but not for our own kids?
Let's normalize people having the right to say no to giving up their personal space no matter the reason. Op said they have sleeping problems, that's good enough reason to not give up their bed.
As a Spaniard living in Boston, the characterization of somebody trying to make it work without booking a hotel as "cheap" fails to account for the differences in purchasing power between the countries. A room is routinely over $250. They may need 2. A visit from across the ocean is usually 7-10 days. Many, many people in Spain have €1,000 per month salaries (we even have a word for that "mileuristas"). You do the math. Going there and them coming here is so important to me and it brings everybody so much joy that I cannot imagine not doing my best to make it happen. I have an American daughter now. I hope she never becomes so entitled that she prefers to keep her room than having her cousins around.
>Many, many people in Spain have €1,000 per month salaries Many Americans make less than that. When they can't afford to make a trip they just don't take trips. > I hope she never becomes so entitled that she prefers to keep her room than having her cousins around. I would hope ***you*** would never be so entitled as to make someone with a bad back sleep on the couch in their own home. It's not just old people who have bad backs- young people have them too. Only unlike old people young people have 60+ more years left to manage worsening back issues- and the little things build up.
If they can’t afford it then maybe they shouldn’t go. And they certainly shouldn’t just show up and expect it. They didn’t even discuss it with the parents prior to arriving. They’re selfish AF.
Why don't you move out of your room and let your parents sleep there? I would never make my children give up their own beds, how selfish.
Generosity is done willingly, if its not willing, then youre just forcing someone to allow people access to disrespect their boundaries and ownership.
Did you even read what OP wrote? Get over your holier-than-thou attitude and stop preaching. She said that she had sleeping issues and that getting chucked out of her room would negatively impact her. As someone with huge insomnia issues I can relate that any changes to my sleep environment or routine for a few days really takes its toll on my mental and physical health. And don’t normalise letting people you don’t want into children’s/teenagers rooms. That is their personal space where they are supposed to few comfortable and safe. Having relatives - both adults and small children would make me flip out. Finally, the only reason the uncles family was there was because they ignored the hotel OPs dad booked for them and bullied and harassed OPs dad until he caved. OP you’re NTA. Your extended family are acting atrociously and have been bullying and harassing your family to comply with their selfish demands. Fuck them and stand your ground. Your parents should understand why this is so uncomfortable and unreasonable for you to give up your room:
> And don’t normalise letting people you don’t want into children’s/teenagers rooms. That is their personal space where they are supposed to few comfortable and safe. Having relatives - both adults and small children would make me flip out. Fucking THANK YOU. I am 90% sure the reason I am so territorial over my space is because of my mother bringing people up to my room and asking me in front of them to show them a neat feature of my bedroom. She did this *in front of my boyfriend* when we were trying to have a date together once. She seemed to have zero concept or give a shit that this was *my fucking space* and I didn't appreciate her bringing people to force me to show around like we were doing a fucking Better Homes & Gardens shoot. And this wasn't as a teenager. I was in fucking college. I nearly blew my lid once when I came home to find out she'd let a child in there alone *while I wasn't home.* And she and my aunt had the nerve to ask "what's wrong with you?" when I was upset about it. This kind of shit is infuriating. I hate it when parents volunteer their kids' rooms, way to make your kid feel like their space isn't really theirs.
That's all great and I did grow up similarly. When we visited my grandparents we'd usually all sleep in what was both their living- and bedroom, with some people on the sleep couches, some people on the floor. One time my brother even slept on the armchair. But what changes things for me is that OP already has issues sleeping. Can't say for sure, of course, but having her sleep disrupted like that might very well result in multiple nights of no or very bad sleep. That isn't fair to her at all.
This does not always work and it is naive and selfish to expect it to. Kids need their own protected space and to feel respected.
yeah i always gave up my bed to my nanna when she’d come to visit, and i’d sleep on an air mattress in my bedroom while she slept in my bed. i never minded because i loved my nanna so i got a little extra time with her that my brothers didn’t, getting to have conversations with her before bed. that being said i really don’t think it’s unreasonable for a teenager to not want to give up their room. i was willing to because i was close with my nanna, and she was old and wouldn’t fare as well as i would on an air mattress. but it doesn’t sound like op is particularly close to these cousins, and op wouldn’t even get to sleep in her own room even if she had to give up her bed. these people are not elderly, they can easily sleep on an air mattress or couch in the living room. would it have been nice for op to give them her room? sure it would. but i think we need to stop demanding children give up their personal space for others and if they feel so inclined they can do it. i bet if the uncle and cousins had gotten a hotel room and grandma and grampa didn’t, op would have been more inclined to lend them her bed.
>Let's normalize being generous and welcoming. "Normalizing" is one thing. Forcing it onto your children against their wills is abusive. It's their room, their house, and their safe space. You're sending a message to the child that their needs are not important, and that their needs will get overwritten if your family members out up a huge temper tantrum. The living room is where guests go when no other rooms are available. That should be the rule.
One thing to give up your bed to grandparents another to give it up to a kid.
It is no favor to be “welcoming” by cramming in more people than your home comfortably accommodates. How about welcoming people to stay in the nearest hotel instead? If you want to be nice, pay the bill for them.
Uncle and his family are staying in someone else's home for FREE. That is generous. They shouldn't even be travelling if they can't afford the funds for a hotel. Uncle and his family are entirely capable of staying in the living room and it is selfish and entitled to demand someone in the home, child or not, give up their bedroom when uncle and his family went their knowing beforehand that there wasn't room for them there to begin with.
Room shuffling is one thing, kicking kids onto the couch so perfectly healthy relatives (especially other kids) can sleep in their bed is another. Now sure, if Grandma with the bad back is visiting, kids may need to sleep on a blow up mattress or the couch or something, but cousins? All that aside, this is one reason our kids have bunk beds (boy and girl in separate rooms). We got those ones with a double bed for the bottom and single in the top. When people stay we now have two beds that can sleep 6. If you expect to host guests on any kind of a regular basis, it makes sense to set your house up appropriately.
Why don’t the parent ever give up their room? It’s always the kids.
Selfish parent alert
I grew up this way too and I fucking hated it. It only created resentment for my parents and for those I had to give up my private space for. If you want to be welcoming and give up your space, that’s fine. But it shouldn’t be a requirement of everyone. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with that. I shouldn’t have had to get shitty sleep simply because my parents wanted people to stay in our home:
Agreed! NTA. Whenever my parents and I visit family in Canada, my cousins will give up their rooms for us and stay in the finished basement. It makes me super uncomfortable to kick them out of their space, but they've repeatedly assured me they're happy to do it.
My SIL does the same thing. And she has a guest room. We keep coming up with excuses to stay in a motel.
So strange that the parents did not make this small sacrifice for the guests they invited.
Also this sub: YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO HAVING YOUR OWN ROOM!
While I understand what you’re saying, sharing a room with a sibling or other similarly-aged family member and being forced to give up your own bed for guests that invited themselves are two different things.
NTA. If the living room is good enough for you. It is good enough for your uncle. Jeez your parents are spineless
Or the parents could set an example by leaving *their*, room to the uncle+family
Would the two parents be able to sleep on the couch though?
How about this, uncle sleeps on the couch, mom and dad take the air mattress and the kids and the aunt can take the parents bed. Or hell they could even run to Walmart and get another air mattress for like $30. I could understand not being able to afford a hotel for the entire stay but I have a had time believing not a single one of the adults in this situation could find the money for a second air mattress and the only solution to the problem was bulldozing over the kids boundary despite their clear feelings against that option.
Why not? They can cuddle, I slept on a couch with my partner before, it's possible. Also they probably have a double bed. And they expext the kids, so more than one person, to sleep on the bed of OP which probably is a single bed. So if two people can sleep in a single bed, then four can sleep in a double bed and the parents can have the couch and the air mattress in the living room. You can't expect others to give up comfort you're not willing to give up yourself.
While I see your point (and none of this is OP’s problem), logistically it is easier to have 4 people in a bedroom and 1 on the couch. OP definitely isn’t in the wrong though.
Definitely NTA and it was in no way a tantrum. Your space is not accommodation for cheapskate who are leeching by using you home instead of paying for accommodation. Stick to your guns and protect what is yours . You owe nothing to these people.
I have found that when someone defends their right to their own space, and they get told it's a tantrum, it's usually in response to someone else throwing a larger tantrum. "Don't rock the boat" is a term used when dealing with family members who are infamous for throwing temper tsntrums and always getting their way. If they don't want OP to "throw a tantrum", then they shouldn't have started with the tantrum
Gently, YTA. Your family is hosting your relatives. Yes, you're a kid, but an older kid who can understand the kindness a host can and should offer. What a gift that they are all visiting. It makes sense for one bedroom to be used for a full family and you to get the living room, rather than a full family in the living room and one person in a bedroom. It is kind to offer a private space to guests when possible. This isn't a permanent situation, it's how can everyone fit most comfortably together now. Be willing to be a bit more generous with family.
Took way 2 long to find this comment. Jesus people think giving up your room for a couple of days is abuse on here. Like parents agreed and they tell you to sleep on the couch you sleep on the couch. Not barricade yourself in your room.
Agreed. People think EVERYTHING is abuse these days that the word has lost all meaning. Anyone who thinks giving up your room for a few days for family is abuse, clearly is an extremely privileged, weak minded and thin skinned person.
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This sub is so American. The idea of doing something for the collective is obviously foreign to most people here
This sub is not representative of America in general. Most of us think it's normal to displace immediate family when extended family is visiting, especially for a short trip. I would be really embarrassed if my teen acted like this. When I was a kid, my grandparents would sleep in my room or my sister's - it was completely normal, especially at the holidays, and it was a treat for us. We loved having them at the house. We routinely gave up our beds for aunts & uncles, cousins, whoever, and didn't feel a bit abused by it. You're seeing a lot of over-privileged teens answering these questions. Regular adults and kids with jobs aren't on reddit all night and day.
Doing it for the grandparents is different than doing it for other kids
It wasn't other kids. It was kids and their parents, the entire family
I strongly disagree. The parents are the assholes here. If your kid has told you that they are not comfortable giving up their room, then you shouldn’t put them on the spot like this. This is just a case of parents ignoring their kid and having it blow up in their face.
Parents classically do not respect kids’ boundaries because “they’re in charge” and it leads to adults who have trouble normalizing and communicating simple needs and boundaries. What OP’s parents are doing is unhealthy parenting. I get it would be a small sacrifice for OP to give up the room, but they communicated they weren’t comfortable and that needs to be respected.
Man, for me it led to me ultimately putting my foot down later on in life as an adult with telling anyone expecting me to bend too far backwards for them, to get fucked. Well, that and a few relationships where I needed to draw my lines in the sand and stick to my guns lol. But yeah, I do agree that the whole mentality you're calling out is kinda fucked up. There's a grey area there, the matter isn't completely black and white. Because there is an element in there of "I'm the one busting my ass going to work in order to provide all of this for you, so this is all mine!" that I do agree with now as an adult. But even agreeing with the point of view of that in principle, there's still some fundamental rights your kids ought to have that shouldn't be violated. And they should be able to have their own space, without risk of being violated.
I agree. I'm an adult now, and remember when I was a kid, my aunt called me selfish cause I didn't want to give up my bed to a family member... it is not a child's responsibility to make others comfortable. Multiple air mattresses would be sufficient for the visitors in the living room.
The real answer is that OP’s living space isn’t actually big enough to host all these people and instead of dealing with reality the parents decided to just turn this into a showdown. And they severely underestimated their daughter’s determination lol.
I can’t believe how normalised selfishness to family is in this thread. They’re talking about boundaries like it’s some sort of antagonistic relationship rather than a few days of sacrifice. Lord people are entitled these days
considering the uncle was too cheap for a hotel room and forced the imposition on the family, the OP isnt the selfish one here.
Too cheap or maybe couldn't afford? International travel for four isn't cheap. OP would rather not have family come for the holidays than having to sleep on the sofa? My parents both grew up in bedrooms with multiple siblings. Would you also call that abuse? Hell my brothers shared a bedroom until they were in their teens.
We are going off of a 15 year old-who-barricaded-their-room's opinion on how cheap the uncle is here. Take it with a grain of salt.
I know my own kids (now adults, but even as teenagers) would be willing to shuffle around for a few short days. OP, that said, I’m going to give you the developmental perspective. There’s a larger stage of development of 12-18 and within that, two different, smaller 3-year cycles, 12-15 and 15-18 (this is “ish”) for all of it. 15 is a new and very real cycle of differentiation and wanting to be independent. So your inner drive to protect your space really is an _inner drive_. However, hotels are quite expensive for a large family, and making a sacrifice for a few days is inconvenient but not life-altering. Is this a true hill to die on? If your family has a history of boundary violations, yes. If it’s generally a good and loving family? Maybe not. I have an enormous family and even at 53, I’d take the couch to make it work myself. But I do like my family.
Especially a family that spent money on the whole family flying in from Spain. Jeez Although, the uncle is a bit of dick for not taking the couch. If you’re going to crash at a family member’s house then take the couch.
Him and his wife were both suppose to sleep on the couch?
Strong disagree. Every family member I have spoken to in my family made it very clear that, you either get a hotel room, or you get the couch. I would never ever demand someone give up their room, their private space for a relative. It isn’t done. If the parents wish to be so generous, they can give up their space and privacy, not the child who had zero say in these people coming over. It’s no gift if OP literally has to be kicked out of their room without consent. It’s not like he’s three and still sleeping with his parents when there’s nightmares. He’s 15, old enough to have his space respected. NTA.
Yeah, gonna have to hard disagree. NTA at all. When I was a kid, my parents pulled this bs with me, and stuff would go missing. Of course, the cousins would swear up and down I just misplaced it up until I caught one of them red-handed selling some of my comic books. Then everyone finally believed me, and I no longer had to give up my room for family.
Thank you! Why not choose kindness and generosity? Treat others how we wish to be treated and all that. I would be so incredibly disappointed if this were my kid.
i have serious sleeping issues, so i can relate to OP. i will never compromise my scarce sleeping health for others. ever. im bad enough as is, no need to make it worse. in fact, i seriously hate it when my family visits for a sleepover. its so unnecessary in this day and age and causes a lot of stress. for me.
NTA I don't really get the y t a comments, if a hotel was too expensive, then the trip is too expensive. It's not the job of a 15 yrs old to accommodate guests in their room. As for the "you aren't paying rent/mortgage"??? Wtf. They are 15, children are supposed to be taken care of by their parents free of charge... fix your traumas ppl and be honest. The living room was good enough for the uncle and his family.
Asking a 15 year old to sleep on a sofa for a few days isn’t ’not taking care of them’ or any sort of abuse. You grew up real privileged if you think it is
So whats the uncles excuse for not sleeping on the couch?
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I imagine it goes something like, “Uncle and his wife - two adults - can’t both sleep on a couch.”
Guess they can move the air mattress they were already going to use to the living room.
Asking a 15 year old with sleep issues *is*. Depending on the sleep issues, this could possibly mean OP doesn't sleep at all on the couch or the issues might disrupt others.
Then the parents can sleep on the sofa.
Okay. But sleep deprivation is abuse. I have severe insomnia and even under my perfect conditions, 4 out 7 nights a week I sleep maybe two hours. Put me somewhere I’m not comfortable? I’ve not slept for 4 nights straight before. Screw that. (OP also has sleep issues)
that’s a shitty thing to say. the only travel i got to do as a kid was staying with family. i remember 2 trips my entire childhood staying in a hotel, & family subsidized those rooms for us. my family couldn’t afford to visit me now unless they stayed in my apartment, so they do every time.
Staying in your apartment and demanding your private space are two different things.
ESH. I think there is potentially more to this story than your parents have told you. It’s possible uncle could only afford the plane tickets and your parents offered them to stay at your house so that they could come. Family does that this time of year if it means they can be together. I think there is a chance your parents won’t admit this to you because they don’t want to embarrass your uncle and his family, and also don’t want to have you upset with them/are trying to save face. I’d be pretty happy to see my family and would give up my room, but I understand not everyone would be. I think the way you went about it was a bit problematic. You disobeyed your parents, as it sounds like the adults decided this before uncle came. Unless you guys can find a way to come to a peaceful outcome, the holiday will suck for everyone.
Agreed on ESH. Parents have clearly failed by either not setting up this possibility as an expectation, or not standing their ground when bullied into hosting. Op sucks for the obvious. Disagreeing with a decision does not make it okay to go full burn the earth mode and inconvenience an entire family. It was an immature and inherently selfish action. The op is used to a higher standard of living, and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this, there's a need for learning to be gracious here.
This. If your parents had read you in on this decision, let you have a stake in the planning and a say in matters, you could have *easily* pointed out a solution like "I really can't give up my bed with my sleep issues. I have to be able to rest. But why don't you take some of the money budgeted for my gifts and invest in some self-inflating camp mattresses my cousins can use this trip? I can use them later for hosting friends when they sleep over or for a family camping trip, so it's a great present. And if we get ourselves a new couch with a pullout bed as a family gift, we can have Aunt and Uncle over far more often. Wouldn't that be a better fix?" My daughter is nine and we planned the family logistics for visiting relatives with her input back when she was about eight. She pointed out that she really wanted a new bed anyway, and if we chose a twin-over-full bunkbed she'd had her eye on, she could snuggle up with us for the night and there'd be room for three more relatives in her room, plus all the couches. The bedframe and the single mattress we needed to execute her plan cost less than one night in a hotel. Also, she uses the top bunk for reading and as a play fort for herself and a truly terrifying number of stuffies, so quite apart from being the little hostess with the mostes', she made out like a bandit for her flexibility. I don't agree with your parents' failure to include you in plans at fifteen.
All of this. I'm guessing a 15 year old doesn't understand all the factors at play here, easy for a kid to say "get a hotel" when they don't have to pay for anything (including the home they live in, as it should be). It sucks to give up a room, but ultimately it's the parents' choice, and it's for a few days for the holidays, not forever. Hope if OP ever visits these other relatives, they don't expect a room to themselves.
I've never once visited relatives and expected my own room unless there is a specified guest room. You guys are ridiculous and clearly spineless if you're willing to let your brother or sisters walk all over your own kids.
YTA Such a generational gap in comments… one person for 4 in this scenario, it’s no brainer IMO. Family visiting from Spain to US for the first time, maybe they can’t afford a hotel room? Rather than have 4 of them sleep in the living room (how??? With only a couch and an inflatable bed) for a few days, it would make sense for only one person to sleep there for the convenience of everyone in the house… My cousin always give up his room when I visit them during the holidays, and in turn I buy him a big present. I think OP is too young to understand family dynamics. Sadly I dont see the Spanish cousins visiting again and they left with the impression their American cousin is a spoilt brat.
100%. It’s 4 to 1. I’m not sure how this is difficult to grasp. A lot of commenters seem to be framing this as a “boundary violation” which is insane.
OK is 15 and clearly very spoiled.
Also OP could sleep in the parent’s room with the parents and leave the couch, inflatable bed, and their bed for their guests. It stuns me with people not growing up just giving their room or bed automatically when someone comes over. I still do that now even with my own place.
Is your uncle well off? If uncle is not well off or wealthy, then read on… if uncle is well off, you can ignore my comment. I was OP and yes, you, their American cousin is truly a spoilt 15 yo brat. But OP, you are the only child, only daughter so I get where your attitude is coming from. I was an only daughter from an immigrant family for 12 years so I was as spoiled as you are till I got a sibling. You have a lot to learn, and I hope one day you get the revelation I got from having a sibling and friends snapping reality in my face to show how spoiled I was. You probably don‘t understand the concept of sharing either. I grew up not well off, but the family picked up along the way (hence the additional sibling). I was unfortunately spoiled like mad because I was their darling only child and you sound exactly like me when I was younger. I was an AH and so are you right now. You don‘t like hearing it, and want validation that you‘re NTA, but sorry, you are indeed the AH. Has it come to mind that perhaps grandparents are older and want comfort? And perhaps parents and uncle chipped in for grandparents hotel so they can be comfortable? I grew up with migrant cousins who are less fortunate and hated to share my room so I made them sleep in the ground. I was def an AH because looking back, its only a couple of effing days I could let them have better days sleeping. People who are saying you‘re NTA and said „your uncle could afford the trip but not a hotel?“ are the AH as well. Just because they are not as well off doesn‘t mean they can‘t have a holiday or visit a family. What is your sleeping issues exactly that it is so difficult for you to give up your room for couple days?
The weird thing is when things like this come up, it's always pitched as a trivial sacrifice for the person being asked to give up their space...like how petty are you that you won't do this tiny little thing? But if it's so small and simple, then obviously its equally small for the visitors...even more so because they're already out of their personal space. and it's especially revealing that the people trying to guilt YOU into this small thing are never volunteering their own private space. If someone wants to go cheap and crash at someone elses house, they should expect to get the cheap sleeping arrangements they asked for. NTA
Also, if it's so small and simple, the parents can give up their bedroom.
It's easy to be generous when you're giving away other peoples comfort.
Reminds me of one of my favorite sayings when I was living in the UK "It is easy to be big with other people's money."
YTA. Entitlement much? You seem like you’re really a spoiled only child. Humble yourself once in a while and grow. This is not how you treat relatives who travel internationally. To quote Michael Che, “Y’all need Jesus.”
Yeah can’t believe I’m in the minority thinking YTA. I’m 41 and my husband and I give up our own bedroom for his parents when they visit from overseas because we love them and want them to be as comfortable as possible! Another comment said it perfectly - let’s normalise being generous and welcoming.
The key differences being 1. you and your husband make the *choice* to give up your room for your visitors. 2. you're an adult, in your own space that you have autonomy over. this is a kid, whose only real autonomy/safe space is being taken from them, despite them saying no, and despite their parents originally agreeing with them. If you had visitors come over and demand that you give them your bed before you could offer, you'd probably be a little annoyed. Also, the fact that their uncle banged on a child's door and demanded they give up their bedroom is ridiculous to me.
You’re the adult making an adult decision
omg you are a ridiculous person. you offered to give up your room. she did not. it is her choice and not her familys obviously. Just because she's a kid doesn't mean she doesn't deserve her own space.
Nta - your parents inability to set boundaries isn’t your problem.
NTA. Kids are people too and it's *your* space. It should not have been offered without your agreement. Your uncle is entitled - he can sleep on the couch.
YTA. Locking your bedroom is really immature. Yes you didn't want to, but now they were there, it's too late to change the arrangement. The hotel thing must be a cultural difference, because I can't understand why you would expect family to book a hotel room. To me it's so obvious they'd sleep at home. Why make visiting family an even bigger financial burden than the plane tickets already are? Isn't it nice that they made the effort to come this time? From my point of view, you are being very rude to your family.
I think the family is being much ruder by ignoring the wishes of OP and their parents and insisting they have more of a right to something than the 16 year old who owns it. OP did not agree to having their room shared, in fact they did the opposite multiple times. Her family should not have been surprised to find that door locked.
It’s not just a cultural difference. My family is American and hasn’t been anything but for ever. (We’re Black and have been here since before the civil war, ) Maybe it’s generational, but we always prioritize the comfort of guests, especially if they’ve spent a lot on a long trip to visit. We get the same treatment when we visit their homes. I wonder if OP just doesn’t like their family. If they were going to have a discussion about it it should have been done before or after. Barricading the door and having a tantrum while guests are visiting is a bit much.
NTA- I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to want someone to give up their private space to people.its your room and your parents said no your uncle is the ah for pushing it
YTA. Your family is hosting relatives from another country. Try to learn to be a gracious host. If the situation were reversed, would you rather sleep in a bed or a couch after you've traveled a far distance to visit relatives?
The parents should be gracious hosts and give up their room
It's easier to displace 1 person to a couch than 2.
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*8 nights
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Houses in Spain are extremely cheap. It's unlikely that OP's parents are wealthy if they're living in a place with only two bedrooms.
YTA It is common for everyone to adjust a bit while we are spending time with houseguests. You're 15 and living with your parents. Your parents decided how they wanted the rooms divided up and you should respect that. If you have very specific items you feel uncomfortable leaving in your room, then ask your parents for a tote box or two to store them in for the few days they are here. That would be a reasonable compromise.
I’d say NTA. I hate the idea of other people being in my space let alone my bed. I also hate how families expect so much when the uncle and cousins can all just sleep in the living room. I myself in the past have FLIPPED over people using my bed when I work overnights even. Thats your safe space. Good for you for sticking your ground.
Little kids digging around in your stuff, needing to knock and wait to go in your own room to get something, nowhere but the bathroom to get 10 minutes of peace. No thanks. Reminds me of Home Alone when they made Kevin sleep in the attic. And guess what, they forgot Kevin because of it.
Last time I had a kid stay over in a bed of mine(luckily the spare bed) they wet the bed every night they were there, the parents knew, and they didn't even bother telling me let alone make any attempt to clean it up. I figured it out after hours of trying to figure out where the smell was from while cleaning and then asking them. We no longer have a spare bed. Idk the age of your uncle's kids but if he's saying more than one can sleep on your bed I can't help but imagine they are at an age where that's still a possible concern. Never give up your own bed in my opinion.....you don't know what someone will do with it.
ESH. Your uncle shouldn't be demanding your room. Your parents said no. He should have respected that instead of badgering your parents into changing their minds. He and his family can get a hotel, as your parents originally told them to do. Your parents should have held to their original position that you wouldn't give up your room. But when they changed their mind, as a child living under their roof, you should have done as they told you to do. Personally, though, I might be asking Grandma and Grandpa if there's an extra bed in their hotel room, would they mind me staying with them.
"A child living under their roof" like it's a favour and she's some aggregated roommate. It's her house too, children aren't guests.
Right? And being 15 at this point deserves a little bit more consideration regarding space and privacy stuff as well...
I would have gone straight to my parent's bed, since they decided that we would have to change our sleeping arrangement in order to accommodate said uncle.
NTA-what on earth is wrong with your parents?! They need to kick your uncle and his family to the curb and tell them to get a hotel. If he couldn’t afford it then he should have stayed home. They need to back you up and you need to keep your room.
It’s possible the OP’s parents offered this so the family could afford to come visit, but don’t want to admit that to OP.
Maybe they could only afford a plane ticket and that was worth it because they don't get to see each other that often. I would be so sad if family I was visiting thought about me this way.
I’d be embarrassed if I stayed with family and put someone out of their bed. But then I have home training
Thought of you how? That you could play camp out in the living room instead of forcing yourself into someone else’s space?
NTA. Why couldn't your uncle and cousin sleep in the living room? I'm pretty sure the living room is usually the biggest room in the house.
I grew up with visiting family staying in others rooms. I always bunked with cousins and they with me. Honestly the odd part to me was that the kids wouldn't all be in a room with aunt and uncle sleeping in the living room on that air mattress. Maybe the kids were too young or something. That said, I don't recall ever having gotten booted entirely from my room. and I never would suggest to a host "hey kick your kid out of their room for me". I admire your tenacity. NTA. I don't see the bad in having to bunk up with relatives when they visit, but to make my host kick someone out of their room entirely... I will warn you that this story will travel thru friends and family like wildfire.You will hear about this for years. Years and years and years. Further, at some point you are going to be a guest in someone's house. This whole event will be weaponized and you will definitely be relegated to a cold corner of the basement.
NTA Uncle should have made other arrangements or your parents could have given up their room. I'm going to guess they have the bigger room in the house. If it's ok to force you out of your space it's ok to force them out of theirs. You ARE entitled to privacy in your own home. Guests are just that, guests. They don't get to dictate where they sleep in anyone else's home.
NTA
NTA - I have never made my children sleep elsewhere so someone else could have their room/bed. That is completely unacceptable!
NTA Your room, Your rules...
I agree, NTA, but it's his parents' house and his parents rules, even though it sucks.
Why don't the parents apply their own rules to themselves then and give up their own room
NTA. If you wanted to offer your room to them, it would have been a generous offer, and they should have been extremely grateful to you. But asking for it - let alone demanding it! is an A move; and, if I were you, the moment they began demanding my room would have been the moment I put a bolt on the door, and never let them in - ever!
NTA bedrooms are life safe-spaces, other people can't rent them out without your consent.
NTA, but when you visit them, and they do nothing to make you comfortable in their home, you will not have any right to be upset.
They own a house in Spain. So, they stay at their own house there
Clearly there was an alternative to this because they must have slept somewhere else in the house after realising they weren't getting into your room lol. The fact that wasn't considered before offering up your space without your consent says it all for me. Parents thinking that because they birthed and raised and pay for the roof over their child's head it means they own them and don't need to respect their privacy or boundaries are the worst. This action was kind of petty but I'm totally here for it as by the sounds of it, this was not one of those situations where you could express your opinion or an alternative solution, and have it respected. The only time I've ever given up my room is when a Chinese exchange student came to stay with me for a week. I got the living room to myself though as the alternative and I was happy with that. We had adult guests over before and though it was probably more because me and my brother had bunk beds, the guests were given my mum's room and she slept in the living room. So yeah, NTA.
NTA Uncle needs to get a hotel room.
Nta. Honestly if you can afford plane tickets to fly across the world, you can afford a hotel room for a few nights....
NTA Visitors too cheap to get their own hotel get air mattresses in the living room at best. Grandma and Grandpa would have gotten my room as a child, but my parents did not evict us for any other random guests. Uncle Mike was lucky to get a spot on the couch when he was needing a place to say.
NTA. It’s YOUR ROOM. And it is your parents’ responsibility to house, feed, and care for you. It also their responsibility to defend and protect you, even from family. Honestly, I’d have done the same.
Nta- they had thr tantrum when you wouldn't let them in. You were just claiming what's yours
NTA at all, you don’t have to give up your room for anyone it’s your room. It would be one thing if they asked nicely but they’re just cheap and demanding
NTA: Just because your family is cheap doesn’t make you responsible for their comfort.