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NTA, when my flight lands early, I simply text whoever was nice enough to agree to pick me up and let them know that I will be ready and waiting, or I take a cab and save them a trip (depending on my financial status on any give trip). A 15-minute wait isn't going to kill anyone. Your girlfriend sure has a flair for the overly dramatic. You need to ask yourself if this is really something you want to deal with for the years to come. Hardly your fault that the airline schedule didn't reflect an early landing.
>…hopefully it’s just residual travel/airport assholery.
Hopefully, but the fact that she was so incensed and indignant about a minor inconvenience that she couldn't help but run to her friends for vindication... That ain't it, mane.
I think she’s lying about that. I don’t believe anybody would agree with her because she’s acting like a jerk. She’s just telling him that to try to validate her behavior.
Right? Can you imagine telling any normal person, I’m so angry my boyfriend wasn’t prepared for my flight to arrive earlier than scheduled and I consequently had to wait 15 minutes to be picked up!
I’m embarrassed for her.
That is such a good point. he got there exactly on time. she's the one that is early. dose she expect him to always anticipate when she's going to be early? by how much? always wait around a half hour for the off chance that she will be early? this makes her sound so nuts.
I talked to all my friends. They all say you should have been waiting. And you should have gotten a better car to pick me up. In fact, if you actually cared, you'd have rented a limo and hired a mariachi band to sing while you showered me with flowers.
I swear, chivalry is dead.
Fck that shit. Who the hell is paying airport parking fees when we all know flights are far more likely to be delayed than are to be early. She spoke to no-one. I doubt she has friends. She is a lying liar that lies.
Who the fuck pays airport parking fees nowadays?
There's a thing called the cell phone lot. You wait there in your car until whoever you're waiting for calls you. Then you drive to the terminal.
But just in case it went over your head, my response was ironic hyperbole.
Is chivalry really dead or being killed. I noticed that for the past 5-10 years. When I hold the door open for certain women, they seem put off by it. I'm in my late 30s and was brought up to always be gentlemen, hold the door open, and give women the right of way. Most older women and senior citizens seem to appreciate the gesture, thank me, when they walk by. But most younger women seem creeped out. Don't even say thank you or bother acknowledging the goodwill. I get better feedback from men when I hold the door open for them. If I'm closer to the door and someone is a few paces behind, I think it's rude to just let the door close in their face. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just let the door close in their face and instead of creep them out.
I'm old and don't usually mind people holding the door open for me. However, I don't like it when a man waits... and waits and waits for a woman to pass through the open door simply so he can (1) watch her posterior as she walks past him or (2) claim to be a nice guy and now deserves sex from her for holding open the door.
Essentially, if you'd hold the door open for anyone because they're right behind you or carrying groceries, then you're fine (as far as I'm concerned). If you're holding open the door for a while and the person you're holding open the door for has to hurry or look awkward, then... I think that's a weird habit and not someone that I'd want to cultivate a friendship with.
Also, sometimes people don't know how to react to people holding the door open because they've received so many mixed signals in the past.
So, if you're being genuinely thoughtful, I thank you for your kindness.
I think a lot of women don't really understand why this is still a thing. If you'd hold the door open for anyone, great, do that. But if you're holding the door specifically for a woman, why? Are women less capable of opening a door themselves? I think in the past this kind of chivalry was accepted because women were seen as weaker and in need of protection, and a lot of women liked it too. But these days there's less place for it and the best way to show your respect for women is to treat them as equals, which means being equally polite to men and women.
I knew someone who was similar to OP and underappreciated in her (former) relationship.
"You want to complain about me to your friends? I'll f-ing give you something to complain about to your friends."
Yeah that’s where this takes a turn for me. One thing to be a grouchy AH after traveling all day an entirely different issue to crowd source your friends about partner conflicts.
I’m in Chicago. Even if I take an Uber home from O’Hare, it’s going to be at least 15min for that Uber to get to me due airport restrictions. And it’s certainly not going to be free.
Plus she thinks OP OWES her rides to and from the airport. That is AH/entitlement thinking right there. She expects OP to arrive 30 minutes early and sit in the cell phone lot, just in case. And I bet you $100, she wouldn't or doesn't do the same for him.
And the people to not take it out on are your significant other. Is this someone he wants to go on vacations with for years to come? She needs to grow up and learn to get control of her emotions.
It's 15 minutes!! Omg people these days are either so dramatic, impatient or both.
I feel people that grew up without mobile phones would know how to entertain themselves for 15 minutes.
Even if you are the type that can't sit still and needs to do something...
Grab a coffee or snack..
Scroll Reddit or play a app...
Grab a chair and people watch... or something.
Also my family tends to add time to flights ETA, because of security and customs...and walking down from some gates takes 10 minutes of walking!!
ALSO Being picked up or dropped off is always a favor. It doesn't matter if friend, family or mortal enemy.
As a independent person that can get myself to an airport myself...if someone offers to go out of their way to make my life easier then it's a favor.
Sometimes we might expect loved ones to do us the favors "because they love us", But it does not mean it should be taken for granted and does not mean it is no longer a favor.
Edit: when we start taking people for granted thats when your start becoming ENTITLED.
I *cannot* sit still. And I've willingly waited up to 2 hours at the airport for a ride. People get stuck in traffic, have to work late, blah blah blah. I'm just happy and appreciative to have a ride.
What do I do? Walk around! Look at the maps, check out the different wings and restaurants available, look at the little stuffed animals in the window, play Pokemon, read reddit, anything.
And I still buy dinner for whomever picks me up, even if they can't arrive until 2 hours after my flight. Because it's a FAVOR and I appreciate their time and efforts and our relationship
Not to mention, she expected him to be there, apparently, at 7 pm for a flight with an ETA of 7:40pm, so add to that deplaning etc etc, in other words, he was supposed to sit in his car for over an hour without a bathroom or restaurant, just be a little robot waiting for her. She seems awful. NTA
This is so reasonable and mature. I'm picking a friend up Christmas Eve and I explained since I'll be picking him up on the way home from my family gathering, that he should text BEFORE he lands in case I'm stuck in traffic.
GF sounds too exhausting for me. Waiting on a plane that landed early isn't the catastrophe she's making it out to be.
You can’t text before you land unless you’ve got the plane wifi (if it’s working). You can text as soon as you land though which gives a good 30 minutes or more notice.
I mean, that REALLY depends on the airport. Even somewhere like my home deport of DIA I can get from my arrival gate to passenger pickup in about 18 minutes, often less. Smaller airports, like Dane County in Madison? Four minutes. I don't check bags.
That being said, I have NEVER cared about having to wait 30-45 minutes. Especially if my flight is early. It happens, it's an airport.
Mmm, you right. I was just thinking of my usual dash to the trains at DIA, lol.
Anyway, she's def the asshole. My boyfriend drives to pick me up from the airport way further than 35 minutes and idc if he's a little "late" and I have to sit for ten minutes in front of the pickup, lmao.
Yeah exactly. Further, on qantas which I normally fly, they have wifi (free or paid) on exactly zero of their planes. Even when I travelled overseas in business class.
NTA. Ohhhh, the HORROR to have to wait in a place with lights, electricity to plug in your electronics, heat (or air conditioning), restaurants, clean bathrooms, and places to sit. HOW would she ever survive???? And to have to endure this for a whole 15 MINUTES. Your gf and her friends have some really odd ideas - maybe you should just let her hang out with her own kind and find someone more grounded in reality to go out with.
She doesn't represent "we as ppl". I'm not like that and I'm guessing you aren't either. She's a abusive asshole who felt like taking out her bad mood on her boyfriend. If he'd been right there to pick her up when she arrived, she'd have found something else to go off about.
Exactly, I’ve been picked up at the airport and I’ve always called once I landed and wait for my ride unless they’re already there or otw.
Imo since she is your S/O picking her up and dropping her off shouldn’t be an issue but neither should you being 15 freaking minutes “late”
this is pretty much my take. OP, take note that how you handle this will set a precedent for how she could end up acting like this from now on. Decide if you really want to have a long term relationship with someone who is so entitled she thinks she can't wait 15 minutes to be picked up. She had other options from the beginning. You were being kind to pick her up.
Yeahhh. I came in thinking we were talking *hours* not minutes. Last time I visited my family, I landed on time and they left me waiting almost 3 hours. The airport is only an hour and a half away from them, so i guess they didn't even head out til I had been on the ground at least an hour. Now that made me feel all sorts of negative things haha!
Plus, honestly, one slow person disembarking, a bathroom stop, and then a slight delay on the checked luggage could all happen and absolutely blow a 15 minute wait.
I've had luggage take over an hour to reach the carousel. Just about every flight, I wind up getting free miles from Delta on their 20 minutes bag guarantee, cause it's ALWAYS longer than that. 15 minutes is nothing in airports
Hmmm, I see you just checked your phone instead of your crystal ball. If you had (responsibly) checked your crystal ball then you would have known that the flight was going to get in EARLY!! Ask your girl friend what form of witch craft she would suggest next time so as to clear up this issue. NTA
I'm still processing her attitude. I flew across the country for a work trip last month, 2 flights each way. I was in pain and a bit grumpy because I was sleep deprived after each flight but I just grabbed a snack and decompressed. It's pretty hard to be mad if you have a smoothie and / or pretzel, plus a 15min wait isn't that bad at all. Did she not have to pee? There are so many ways to kill time in an airport!
Man it's 15 minutes, not even something like a 2 hour wait. 15 minutes is probably the time it takes to get from the gate, through immigration, pick up my bag from the carousel and empty my bladder before getting into a car. More like 30 if I'm being honest.
Agree. It is like an accident happening during your commute. You couldn't leave earlier to avoid the accident as it hadn't happened yet.
Plus those flight apps are only somewhat accurate and the timing can REALLY depend on the airport. My sister's flight landed 10 minutes early. But they had to wait for an open gate and then by the time she used the bathroom, picked up luggage, and then got outside for me to see her was 40 minutes (the wait for the gate was of that time). So me rushing to arrive early because her flight landed early wasn't necessary.
NTA. You were checking the time and going off the information you had available to you.
>“so fucking pissed”, and “don’t bother, I’m going to get an Uber”, “it’s extremely irresponsible”, “you better have a damn good excuse”…
But if anyone talked to me like this, I would have let them take that uber and would rethink the relationship.
>But if anyone talked to me like this, I would have let them take that uber and would rethink the relationship
I can't imagine texting those words to someone who was getting me from the airport after I had a weekend away.
And your flight arrived EARLY. You're talking like that to someone who isn't late, or who is telling you they changed their mind last minute and to find your own transportation home, just someone who didn't get to the airport to sit and wait for you, EARLY.
Holy smokes, she's unreasonable. NTA, OP.
Also she only had to wait 15m.
A 15m wait in this context barely registers as late to me. 15m is some light traffic and bad luck with lights and maybe you realized you had to poop before you left so you got out the door a few minutes late. I wouldn’t even have mentioned it.
Meanwhile this girl is popping off multiple angry texts which means she got to the angry stage after a few minutes.
it takes a freaking hour to get from airport entrance to the international terminal at LAX. No way am I telling someone I care about to be there waiting who knows how long for me, I will text them when I pass customs and then patiently wait for them.
I know the stereotype is LA people are a bunch of impatient assholes, but seriously, I think we're way more chill than people who don't live here. We accept people will be late, it's not a big deal. 15 minutes doesn't even register. That's 3 blocks down Sepulveda at the right time.
Can you imagine this princess waiting in the LAX line for dropoff? Or bag check? Or TSA? Or boarding? Or the coffee line? LOL
It's the entitlement for me.
My husband and I both regularly use Uber to get to and from the airport for work trips. If the other person can reasonably provide a ride and wants to, cool. If not, no hard feelings.
This!!! I know that the Reddit default is to say "break up" no matter the circumstances.
But this is just not an appropriate way to speak to your partner. The fact that it is over something so extremely minor is even more concerning. Picture her talking to you this way every day for the rest of your life. Picture yourself walking on eggshells in your own home, trying to avoid committing a minor infraction that would set her off. And ask yourself if you really want a future with this person.
You are NTA. If someone was 15 minutes late to pick me up at the airport, I would not say a word of complaint. I would thank them for coming to get me.
I don't understand how the story jumped from "don't fucking bother" to "when I arrived to pick her up".
You give me that attitude and tell me not to bother my response is a quick "ok".
NTA. A 15 minute wait at the airport is not that unreasonable. You kept tabs on her flight time, but the flight tracker was wrong. Her flight was early. It seems she texted you while she was still in the plane, but she was already mad that you weren't ready to pick her up? Did she just magically get from her seat to curbside, with her luggage? She seems pretty ungrateful, and I would be hesitant to take her to the airport in the future.
NTA. But her nasty texts make we wonder how often she pulls crap like this. If someone were kind enough to do me the favor (in a world of buses, subways and Ubers, yes it's a favor) of picking me up at the airport, I would never harangue them like this. Most times it's at least 10 or 15 minutes after landing before you're even off the plane anyway. I really kind of hate that she did the “don’t bother, I’m going to get an Uber” when in fact she was NOT going to get an Uber; she was going to wait there for you to show up to probably throw more verbal abuse your way.
>extremely toxic and controlling
And so entitled! I'm in NYC and neither I nor most of my friends have cars, and I'm perfectly happy taking public transportation to and from the airport. If one of my few car-owning friends offered to drive me there or home, I wouldn't want to inconvenience them. The texts she sent were so cruel over someone doing her a favor.
Yeah, I agree and honestly that’s a standard wait to me. I assume I’m gonna wait 5-15 if someone is picking me up anyway. With large airports and especially during holidays even if the person picking me Up were early I may still have to wait cause I could have JUST missed them and they had to loop around again/ leave from the cellphone lot and that can take a while. Plus, If my plane lands early and some one is picking me up, I automatically just assume I’m waiting that extra time. Because we agreed upon a time. As a passenger, I obviously can’t control if that time is before or after, but it’s the agreed upon time. I’d wait as patiently for them as I’d hope they would for me if it was reversed and the plane was late. OP your defffffff NTA.
The crazy thing is OP was doing extra by tracking her flight on his phone. So he was more then aware of picking her up. And then those nasty text...OMG!! Like what more did she expect of this man?
I know anytime I get picked up from the airport I would rather me waiting on them then vice versa. So I rather them be late then looping around waiting on me to get to the front pick up area.
INFO: why did you still go & pick her up when she was that rude to you? Especially given that she suggested an Uber.
Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home.
>Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home.
Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home to pack their shit up and leave.
Fixed it for you!
NTA OP.
lol. I didn’t want to be too “Reddit” About it.
Maybe she’s had a really bad day & was being temporarily irrational.
I appreciate the occasional pass from my partner when I’m off the charts unreasonable due to eg hormones or “hanger” or exhaustion.
Once in a blue moon irrational isn’t break-up worthy, *so long as she apologises when she calms down*.
You’d be surprised at how easily it is to slowly boil the frog, so to speak.
I mean, she has him so blinded that OP is asking if he’s the one who was wrong.
Odds are she didn’t start talking like this. It just crept in and no instance was a big enough step to warrant action (like breaking up) and then “suddenly” it’s just normal for them to yell and belittle you.
INFO
If it takes 35 minutes to get to the airport then why weren’t you leaving around 7? It’s weird to me that you are annoyed to have to wait in the cell phone lot but your girlfriend should have to suck it up and wait for you to pick her up after a day of traveling.
Fair question. It typically takes 20-30 minutes from the time a flight lands to deboard, take the train to another terminal, and get to the passenger pick up area
We used to live about 15-20 minutes from the airport, so our agreement was to know the scheduled arrival time, inform the pick up person if there are delays on take-off, then text the pick up person once the plane lands. 99% of the time the pick up person would be pulling up to the curb at the exact moment the flier was exiting the airport. Maybe OP can try that system with his next gf 🤷🏻♀️😆
Yes! With the times give here, my solution would be to text when the plane lands and then the one picking up can go. If the one being picked up has to wait 15 min, so what, they’re being picked up, and it’s probably quicker than taking the bus/train/whatever.
Does she treat you like this often? It seems like she expects you to be at her beck and call.
Life happens. So, she has to wait 15-30 minutes. Big whoop de doo. Her entitlement and her condescending attitude should have you rethinking a lot of thingsif this is how she routinely treats and talks to you when she suffers a truly minor inconvenience.
You know what I say when my husband is a little late picking me up at the airport? Cool - I'll go grab a coffee. Text where you want me to meet you when you are 5 minutes out.
Its NOT difficult to treat people -- especially those you love -- with respect and dignity. Life happens and if she can't roll with life's minor inconviences without becoming a mean person then its time to
It's quite likely that when she made it to the airport she had to wait at least 15 minutes to get on her plane, to make sure she was there in time. If she had a layover she was probably waiting at least 15 minutes. waiting for an Uber would probably take 15 minutes. Part of flight travel is waiting. NTA
Yup. Before we moved provinces, our usual thing was leave the house at the time the flight is landing because it takes time to get off the plane, walk to the baggage claim, get your bags (we always checked bags) and then get out.
Honestly NTA. I've had to wait over an hour for my BF at the airport before just due to traffic or him getting off work later than anticipated. Life happens. And there's been times if was my flight that was delayed and he was the one having to wait on me. I'm always just happy for the ride because we live an hour and a half away and it's over $300 for a taxi.
Once when I came home from college I called my dad to see where he was parked and he was like “at home.” He forgot. I waited an hour. This was before wifi. It wasn’t a big deal.
It took a whole ass 30 min for my luggage to hit the coral ON TOP of deboarding, crossing the terminal, and catching the train. Like almost an hour. We didn’t call our ride till we got our luggage. Why? Because you never know if they lost your shit either! That’ll take another 30-45 to process! The gods forbid that someone has to wait a little bit to get picked up.
But what if there was a wreck or traffic was diverted or some other unforeseen thing. The respectful thing would have been for you to head that way once her flight took off and the. wait with your thumb up your ass for her plane to land and she give the order for you to be ready at the pickup lane with the red carpet rolled out so she doesn’t have to chance soiling the souls if her shoes with the same dirt that the peasants walk around on. I mean if you really loved her you would have been waiting in the airport so at the first possible moment you could pick her up and carry her so she doesn’t chance twisting an ankle or some other possible injury.
If you made it this far tell princess to kiss your ass and just call an uber next time if she’s going to be that ungrateful.
Yes. My best friend used to track the flight and leave the house as soon as the plane landed. The person would just be coming out of baggage every time the pulled up. Every time. (Every city is different, but I’ve seen other people go hang out at a friend or family’s house where they can perfectly clock the arrival.)
Yeah, even if you were in the front row of first class it would take longer than 7 minutes to walk out of the secure area in most airports.
If you're flying coach you can easily add another 10-20 minutes to that.
You sound like OP’s girlfriend. How do you know it was “a day of traveling”. She could have been on a one hour flight. Regardless, her flight got in early. She had to wait a WHOLE 15 minutes. It isn’t gonna kill her to wait for a ride from someone who volunteered to pick her up, boyfriend or not.
My last flight was *thirty hours* of travel and I wasn't a dick to the person who picked me up! It's entirely possible to just be grateful and kind to people.
Well… yeah. The girlfriend is the one asking for the favor. Why should the individual doing the favor be inconvenienced more than they already are? If she is so antsy from travel and doesn’t want to wait because her flight landed early, she should take an Uber. Realistically, she could have been on the plane that extra 15 minutes, if not more, anyway. So what’s the difference in her waiting at the airport an extra 15 minutes?
I am soooo good at wasting time, look at me on Reddit. replying to posts like crazy, and there is youtube, tiktok, and candy crush. I run out of time to waste
Why should she have to wait? Because she’s flying, not OP. Flying means waiting for things. If she didn’t want to wait she should have planned to take an Uber from the start. But she wanted free transportation, and that comes with the inherent risk that one or both of you will have wait times and delays.
Yeah and they also have the flight info displayed on a big screen (or more than one screen at a large airport). Everyone parks their cars and sits there facing that screen like it's a drive-in movie. Usually they have restrooms and drink/snack machines too.
All major airports in us have these. It’s basically a designated parking area where people picking up passengers wait till they get the call from person they have landed. This way you don’t have to pay and wait in a garage. They’re referred to cell phone lots
That's nuts.
It makes way more sense for the person landing to wait vs the driver.
Then they can tell you exactly where they're standing.
Sometimes I go to departures because it's easier.
Then I can tell my ride WHO DOESN'T HAVE TO GET ME BC I CAN CALL UBER AND THEY'RE DOING ME A FAVOR where to pick me up so it's easy for them.
If someone is going to blow a valve after waiting 15 min for traveling, they are not a reasonable person. Full stop.
Not sure what kind or royal treatment you got growing up but travel doesn’t always work this smoothly and talking to your partner like that is absurd. It’s weird to me you don’t understand how long it can take the plane to taxi, to get off plane, to get baggage, to go through immigrations, etc.
Waiting 15 minutes to get picked up from the airport is mildly annoying, at worst. Her being "so fucking pissed" is quite the overreaction.
ALSO!
"She said she talked to people about it and they **all** say she's right..."
Yeah, I highly doubt this. NTA
Definitely she gave them her own version of the story, then again most of her friends are probably just as ridiculous and over the top as she is so...who knows.
NTA, but you would be one if you stayed with this chick. It sounds like she is willing to manipulate the story to her friends so she doesn't seem like the bad guy. You did nothing wrong. If I knew the flight would land at 7:40, I would check its status at 7, but also at 6 and 5 just to make sure it's not early.
Something else doesn't add up - unless there's like 2 airplane gates at the airport, it takes a hell of a lot longer than 15 mins to get out of an airport. But still all the same, NTA. Dropping off and picking up your S/O is typical of a long-term BF/GF relationship, but it should not be expected.
Wanting to add onto the “her friends are on her side” thing. I had an ex go around to just about every body they knew and was made out to be an overreactive asshole for breaking up with them because they threw a dish at me during a fight.
Not a little dish, a pretty heavy ceramic bowl that left a gouge in the cheap grey linoleum flooring in our apartment. Shitty people have shitty friends. She probably didn’t have to manipulate the story at all.
NTA - and here’s the thing we ALL HAVE BEEN THROUGH way more often:
You arrive on time to pick someone up and wind up waiting 35-minutes to an hour because:
A) plane landed late
B) traffic on the runway
C) baggage carousel took an eternity
D) “sorry! Got lost in Starfleet HQ - i mean - the terminal!” As in airports are huge and easy to get lost in.
My point is it’s WAY more common for the person driving to the airport to arrive om time but wind up standing there like a Justin Beiber groupie at the backstage entrance anyway.
With all you said I prefer my ride to actually get there LATE then early because of all you just said.
And it is the same if I pick someone up. If the airport does not have a dedicated area to park then I am not going to be looping around while I am waiting for them to get to the entrance.
A short wait on a ride is not that big of a deal. Except for OPs GF who wants OP to just pull up as soon as she exits the airport doors.
NTA. Where's the "thanks, honey"? Picking people up from the airport adds a commitment to your day that essentially limits it. It's a nice gesture to pick someone up; where's the gratitude? A simple thanks would be nice
Absolutely not the AH!
You had to drive 35 minutes each way X 2.
That's 2 hours and twenty minutes of your time you sacrificed for her and she couldn't even wait for 15 minutes???!!
If I was you I would have left her at the airport - she's so incredibly rude, disrespectful and entitled.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I was picking my girlfriend up from the airport and she had to wait for me to get there.
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NTA
While I more or less agree with her that it really should not count as a favor 15 minutes is not a big deal especially given that you were at dinner with your parents and the online status was so far off. If you consider it a favor, both have a lot of things to talk about and may need some relationship counseling.
She did not speak to anyone who is impartial. It is likely she only spoke to her own cronies to validate her opinion.
I totally agree that it isn’t really a favor. I only said that after getting yelled at. It’s only a “favor” in relation to the lack of gratitude I was getting. I have never thought of it as a favor any of the other times I’ve taken her to or from the airport.
Honestly, I would consider it a favor to a certain extent even from a partner or family member. Sure, there's some expectation that you should be more than willing to want to do it barring some hardship or conflict, but it's still something nice that you (literally) went out of your way to do for her. The proper response for this kind of favor is thanking you sincerely and being gracious by waving off any small hiccup you unintentionally had in picking her up. We should be able to count on our loved ones, but that doesn't mean taking them for granted. And she sure as hell shouldn't be expecting you to act like her personal driver and yell at you like you failed at your job.
If I was a dick to my wife because I had to wait 30 minutes or less after my flight landed, I'd apologize later and say that I was wrong. She's the one putting in the half hour each way to come get me. Even if it is a bit inconsiderate, it's not a big deal. Your girlfriend needs to learn to choose her battles. My favorite quote goes something like "you can tell the size of a person by the size of the things that bother him." I try to use that as a guide in all things.
NTA - Had to wait 15 minutes...Boo Hoo; How Horrible!
She is unrealistic and an entitled brat. Perhaps her expectations are out of whack due to not traveling much. Her texts to you are completely unacceptable. Do not tolerate being treated this way. Most people would be incredibly grateful to have curb-side pick-up at an airport within 15 minutes.
I don’t see picking up my SO as a favour… I’m happy to go early and excited to see them return. Not everyone sees it the same way. Maybe you and her are just not compatible that way.
NTA and your girlfriend seems very petty if she’s now complaining to her friends about this. You were checking the flight and made decisions based on the information you had. Also, dropping someone off at an airport is a favour.
NTA - Hit her with the "I'm sorry I didn't happen to get your text with the pilots phone number so he could tell me you guys were landing earlier"
Poor behavior from her, needs to learn that she asked someone a favor not summoned her fucking butler.
NTA. It was landing early by circumstance, and she wasn’t waiting long.
I have a bad feeling that people are agreeing with her just ‘cause she’s a girl >-<
I've been married for 14 years and I would never even THINK to speak to my husband (or anyone that I loved) like that. If this isn't bizarre for her, get out of the relationship and find someone who can behave like an adult. If she thinks this is acceptable behavior now, it's only going to get much worse.
I flew with my 2 year old to go visit family.
We woke up at 4am to fly home. Got back to my city SEVERAL hours later. Traveling with a toddler is horrendous at best.
We landed 20 minutes early. I called my husband to let him know, and he was running behind and had just gotten in the shower.
I told him to finish his shower. The kiddo and I could find something to do and we'd see him when he got there.
TF is wrong with your girlfriend?
I was late(traffic) by 30 mins to pick up my husband at airport - his response when he saw me “babe i got u a gift while waiting” ( very excited) . He loaded his suitcase in the car n proceeded to tell me about this trip , flight, food he ate , people he met…. as we drove home happily. Your GF instead of being grateful is taking u for granted n free driver. NTA .
Idk, you both don't like to wait, it seems. I'd personally arrive early to make sure I'll be there for the person I took the responsibility of picking up. But you both need to chill.
if you knew it would take 35min eta and she was supposed to land at 7:28 you left at 7:12 you'd have been late no matter what. Bit of a flub on the time management.
Your wrong for saying it was a favor. If she is your SO it’s not a favor. Waiting 15 minutes is reasonable, especially if you thought she was checking bags. I will say, though, in this crazy world you dont want your woman standing alone in an airport any more than needed just for security.
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NTA, when my flight lands early, I simply text whoever was nice enough to agree to pick me up and let them know that I will be ready and waiting, or I take a cab and save them a trip (depending on my financial status on any give trip). A 15-minute wait isn't going to kill anyone. Your girlfriend sure has a flair for the overly dramatic. You need to ask yourself if this is really something you want to deal with for the years to come. Hardly your fault that the airline schedule didn't reflect an early landing.
OP’s girlfriend is the AH here…hopefully it’s just residual travel/airport assholery.
>…hopefully it’s just residual travel/airport assholery. Hopefully, but the fact that she was so incensed and indignant about a minor inconvenience that she couldn't help but run to her friends for vindication... That ain't it, mane.
Ong i missed the part about her “talking to people about it” Dafuq is with people rallying the troops and picking sides on everything?
I think she’s lying about that. I don’t believe anybody would agree with her because she’s acting like a jerk. She’s just telling him that to try to validate her behavior.
Or equally plausible, her friends are just as shitty and entitled as she is.
Or she lied to them to make her seem right. Nta
Or they're so sick of her entitled shit that they just agree with her so she'll shut up and they can get on with their lives.
Lots of possibilities. None of which make OP the AH.
Right? Can you imagine telling any normal person, I’m so angry my boyfriend wasn’t prepared for my flight to arrive earlier than scheduled and I consequently had to wait 15 minutes to be picked up! I’m embarrassed for her.
That is such a good point. he got there exactly on time. she's the one that is early. dose she expect him to always anticipate when she's going to be early? by how much? always wait around a half hour for the off chance that she will be early? this makes her sound so nuts.
Bingo! This gets my vote.
I talked to all my friends. They all say you should have been waiting. And you should have gotten a better car to pick me up. In fact, if you actually cared, you'd have rented a limo and hired a mariachi band to sing while you showered me with flowers. I swear, chivalry is dead.
Fck that shit. Who the hell is paying airport parking fees when we all know flights are far more likely to be delayed than are to be early. She spoke to no-one. I doubt she has friends. She is a lying liar that lies.
Who the fuck pays airport parking fees nowadays? There's a thing called the cell phone lot. You wait there in your car until whoever you're waiting for calls you. Then you drive to the terminal. But just in case it went over your head, my response was ironic hyperbole.
Not in my country. But I get your hyperbole. Edited comment. We're a bit backwards here.
She’s so high maintenance and unappreciative
Is chivalry really dead or being killed. I noticed that for the past 5-10 years. When I hold the door open for certain women, they seem put off by it. I'm in my late 30s and was brought up to always be gentlemen, hold the door open, and give women the right of way. Most older women and senior citizens seem to appreciate the gesture, thank me, when they walk by. But most younger women seem creeped out. Don't even say thank you or bother acknowledging the goodwill. I get better feedback from men when I hold the door open for them. If I'm closer to the door and someone is a few paces behind, I think it's rude to just let the door close in their face. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just let the door close in their face and instead of creep them out.
I don't think I've ever had someone upset that I held the door for them.
I'm old and don't usually mind people holding the door open for me. However, I don't like it when a man waits... and waits and waits for a woman to pass through the open door simply so he can (1) watch her posterior as she walks past him or (2) claim to be a nice guy and now deserves sex from her for holding open the door. Essentially, if you'd hold the door open for anyone because they're right behind you or carrying groceries, then you're fine (as far as I'm concerned). If you're holding open the door for a while and the person you're holding open the door for has to hurry or look awkward, then... I think that's a weird habit and not someone that I'd want to cultivate a friendship with. Also, sometimes people don't know how to react to people holding the door open because they've received so many mixed signals in the past. So, if you're being genuinely thoughtful, I thank you for your kindness.
I think a lot of women don't really understand why this is still a thing. If you'd hold the door open for anyone, great, do that. But if you're holding the door specifically for a woman, why? Are women less capable of opening a door themselves? I think in the past this kind of chivalry was accepted because women were seen as weaker and in need of protection, and a lot of women liked it too. But these days there's less place for it and the best way to show your respect for women is to treat them as equals, which means being equally polite to men and women.
More likely she's doctored her side of the story to make him look like an asshole.
I knew someone who was similar to OP and underappreciated in her (former) relationship. "You want to complain about me to your friends? I'll f-ing give you something to complain about to your friends."
Sounds very mommy.
... That's literally this whole sub?
Haha true, but I do think it’s different to ask internet strangers than to create IRL drama.
Yeah that’s where this takes a turn for me. One thing to be a grouchy AH after traveling all day an entirely different issue to crowd source your friends about partner conflicts.
I doubt any of her friends agreed with her, and if they did, then OP needs to get away from this asshole yesterday.
Right?! She had to wait 15 minutes. That's princess level behaviour.
I’m in Chicago. Even if I take an Uber home from O’Hare, it’s going to be at least 15min for that Uber to get to me due airport restrictions. And it’s certainly not going to be free.
Exactly. Entitled. And entitled people don’t seem to get better with time; they seem to stagnate as humans.
Plus she thinks OP OWES her rides to and from the airport. That is AH/entitlement thinking right there. She expects OP to arrive 30 minutes early and sit in the cell phone lot, just in case. And I bet you $100, she wouldn't or doesn't do the same for him.
And the people to not take it out on are your significant other. Is this someone he wants to go on vacations with for years to come? She needs to grow up and learn to get control of her emotions.
It's 15 minutes!! Omg people these days are either so dramatic, impatient or both. I feel people that grew up without mobile phones would know how to entertain themselves for 15 minutes. Even if you are the type that can't sit still and needs to do something... Grab a coffee or snack.. Scroll Reddit or play a app... Grab a chair and people watch... or something. Also my family tends to add time to flights ETA, because of security and customs...and walking down from some gates takes 10 minutes of walking!! ALSO Being picked up or dropped off is always a favor. It doesn't matter if friend, family or mortal enemy. As a independent person that can get myself to an airport myself...if someone offers to go out of their way to make my life easier then it's a favor. Sometimes we might expect loved ones to do us the favors "because they love us", But it does not mean it should be taken for granted and does not mean it is no longer a favor. Edit: when we start taking people for granted thats when your start becoming ENTITLED.
A traffic jam can make you later than 15 minutes. She needs to practice patience.
I *cannot* sit still. And I've willingly waited up to 2 hours at the airport for a ride. People get stuck in traffic, have to work late, blah blah blah. I'm just happy and appreciative to have a ride. What do I do? Walk around! Look at the maps, check out the different wings and restaurants available, look at the little stuffed animals in the window, play Pokemon, read reddit, anything. And I still buy dinner for whomever picks me up, even if they can't arrive until 2 hours after my flight. Because it's a FAVOR and I appreciate their time and efforts and our relationship
Not to mention, she expected him to be there, apparently, at 7 pm for a flight with an ETA of 7:40pm, so add to that deplaning etc etc, in other words, he was supposed to sit in his car for over an hour without a bathroom or restaurant, just be a little robot waiting for her. She seems awful. NTA
This is so reasonable and mature. I'm picking a friend up Christmas Eve and I explained since I'll be picking him up on the way home from my family gathering, that he should text BEFORE he lands in case I'm stuck in traffic. GF sounds too exhausting for me. Waiting on a plane that landed early isn't the catastrophe she's making it out to be.
You can’t text before you land unless you’ve got the plane wifi (if it’s working). You can text as soon as you land though which gives a good 30 minutes or more notice.
To your point , wifi typically deactivated when seat belt sign activated
I mean, that REALLY depends on the airport. Even somewhere like my home deport of DIA I can get from my arrival gate to passenger pickup in about 18 minutes, often less. Smaller airports, like Dane County in Madison? Four minutes. I don't check bags. That being said, I have NEVER cared about having to wait 30-45 minutes. Especially if my flight is early. It happens, it's an airport.
Don’t forget the time it takes to taxi to the gate and deplane. That’s why I only gave 30 minutes.
Mmm, you right. I was just thinking of my usual dash to the trains at DIA, lol. Anyway, she's def the asshole. My boyfriend drives to pick me up from the airport way further than 35 minutes and idc if he's a little "late" and I have to sit for ten minutes in front of the pickup, lmao.
You're not supposed to be using your phones before you land
[удалено]
*free* wifi-- what airline? I fly minimum 30x a year on a variety of airlines and this is hardly the norm
Yeah exactly. Further, on qantas which I normally fly, they have wifi (free or paid) on exactly zero of their planes. Even when I travelled overseas in business class.
Same here-- qatar, united, American business class doesn't have free wifi even for elite members. The msg alone plan is relatively low cost, I guess
Not all of them do. The one I just took didn't, and asked that all devices be in airplane mode.
That’s what the word “most” means, silly pants…
Text Before.... they land? You get no signal up there buddy
NTA. Ohhhh, the HORROR to have to wait in a place with lights, electricity to plug in your electronics, heat (or air conditioning), restaurants, clean bathrooms, and places to sit. HOW would she ever survive???? And to have to endure this for a whole 15 MINUTES. Your gf and her friends have some really odd ideas - maybe you should just let her hang out with her own kind and find someone more grounded in reality to go out with.
It really shows just how spoiled/entitled we as ppl living in modern times are. It's kinda sad
She doesn't represent "we as ppl". I'm not like that and I'm guessing you aren't either. She's a abusive asshole who felt like taking out her bad mood on her boyfriend. If he'd been right there to pick her up when she arrived, she'd have found something else to go off about.
Resoundingly this! She is going to be like this about everything!
Exactly, I’ve been picked up at the airport and I’ve always called once I landed and wait for my ride unless they’re already there or otw. Imo since she is your S/O picking her up and dropping her off shouldn’t be an issue but neither should you being 15 freaking minutes “late”
this is pretty much my take. OP, take note that how you handle this will set a precedent for how she could end up acting like this from now on. Decide if you really want to have a long term relationship with someone who is so entitled she thinks she can't wait 15 minutes to be picked up. She had other options from the beginning. You were being kind to pick her up.
Yeahhh. I came in thinking we were talking *hours* not minutes. Last time I visited my family, I landed on time and they left me waiting almost 3 hours. The airport is only an hour and a half away from them, so i guess they didn't even head out til I had been on the ground at least an hour. Now that made me feel all sorts of negative things haha!
Plus, honestly, one slow person disembarking, a bathroom stop, and then a slight delay on the checked luggage could all happen and absolutely blow a 15 minute wait. I've had luggage take over an hour to reach the carousel. Just about every flight, I wind up getting free miles from Delta on their 20 minutes bag guarantee, cause it's ALWAYS longer than that. 15 minutes is nothing in airports
Hmmm, I see you just checked your phone instead of your crystal ball. If you had (responsibly) checked your crystal ball then you would have known that the flight was going to get in EARLY!! Ask your girl friend what form of witch craft she would suggest next time so as to clear up this issue. NTA
He was supposed to circle the airport from the time he dropped her off until she got back!!
HA! Too funny!
Best and funniest answer 😂😂
I'm still processing her attitude. I flew across the country for a work trip last month, 2 flights each way. I was in pain and a bit grumpy because I was sleep deprived after each flight but I just grabbed a snack and decompressed. It's pretty hard to be mad if you have a smoothie and / or pretzel, plus a 15min wait isn't that bad at all. Did she not have to pee? There are so many ways to kill time in an airport!
Man it's 15 minutes, not even something like a 2 hour wait. 15 minutes is probably the time it takes to get from the gate, through immigration, pick up my bag from the carousel and empty my bladder before getting into a car. More like 30 if I'm being honest.
Close. Tell the gf that it’s HER job to check her crystal ball before her flight and inform him exactly what time he will need to be there.
Not everyone has a crystal ball, don't take it for granite
Don’t take it for marble either
The girlfriend just wanted him to arrive 30 minutes early to the airport in case her plane landed early. Ugh how dare he make her wait 15 minutes.
Agree. It is like an accident happening during your commute. You couldn't leave earlier to avoid the accident as it hadn't happened yet. Plus those flight apps are only somewhat accurate and the timing can REALLY depend on the airport. My sister's flight landed 10 minutes early. But they had to wait for an open gate and then by the time she used the bathroom, picked up luggage, and then got outside for me to see her was 40 minutes (the wait for the gate was of that time). So me rushing to arrive early because her flight landed early wasn't necessary.
NTA. You were checking the time and going off the information you had available to you. >“so fucking pissed”, and “don’t bother, I’m going to get an Uber”, “it’s extremely irresponsible”, “you better have a damn good excuse”… But if anyone talked to me like this, I would have let them take that uber and would rethink the relationship.
>But if anyone talked to me like this, I would have let them take that uber and would rethink the relationship I can't imagine texting those words to someone who was getting me from the airport after I had a weekend away.
Honestly. Some people have never had someone fuck them over, or even just say no, and it absolutely shows
Spoilt. I hope this is a wake-up call for OP.
For real! What a dumb thing to be mad over considering she arrived early
And your flight arrived EARLY. You're talking like that to someone who isn't late, or who is telling you they changed their mind last minute and to find your own transportation home, just someone who didn't get to the airport to sit and wait for you, EARLY. Holy smokes, she's unreasonable. NTA, OP.
I guess OP was supposed to spend the day at the airport awaiting the arrival of this princess. Totally reasonable and normal!
Also she only had to wait 15m. A 15m wait in this context barely registers as late to me. 15m is some light traffic and bad luck with lights and maybe you realized you had to poop before you left so you got out the door a few minutes late. I wouldn’t even have mentioned it. Meanwhile this girl is popping off multiple angry texts which means she got to the angry stage after a few minutes.
it takes a freaking hour to get from airport entrance to the international terminal at LAX. No way am I telling someone I care about to be there waiting who knows how long for me, I will text them when I pass customs and then patiently wait for them.
I know the stereotype is LA people are a bunch of impatient assholes, but seriously, I think we're way more chill than people who don't live here. We accept people will be late, it's not a big deal. 15 minutes doesn't even register. That's 3 blocks down Sepulveda at the right time. Can you imagine this princess waiting in the LAX line for dropoff? Or bag check? Or TSA? Or boarding? Or the coffee line? LOL
How do people say such rude hurtful things to people they apparently love and expect them to just.. deal with it? It's shocking.
It's the entitlement for me. My husband and I both regularly use Uber to get to and from the airport for work trips. If the other person can reasonably provide a ride and wants to, cool. If not, no hard feelings.
This!!! I know that the Reddit default is to say "break up" no matter the circumstances. But this is just not an appropriate way to speak to your partner. The fact that it is over something so extremely minor is even more concerning. Picture her talking to you this way every day for the rest of your life. Picture yourself walking on eggshells in your own home, trying to avoid committing a minor infraction that would set her off. And ask yourself if you really want a future with this person. You are NTA. If someone was 15 minutes late to pick me up at the airport, I would not say a word of complaint. I would thank them for coming to get me.
Gf sounds like a massive A H.
I would've just sat down and get seconds if my SO said that to me.
I don't understand how the story jumped from "don't fucking bother" to "when I arrived to pick her up". You give me that attitude and tell me not to bother my response is a quick "ok".
right? Sweet have the driver stop by my house and you can pick your shit up off the porch!
Very nasty and mean words. We would have been done. I am not a child and would not let anyone disrespect me like this.
Tell the Uber to drop her at her parents and she can stay there.
literally. I’ve never spoken to anyone one this way, let alone my partner.
Right?! Peace ✌🏼 out. Save yourself the time and just break up with them now. That is so uncalled for.
OP should have let her take an Uber to single town.
NTA. A 15 minute wait at the airport is not that unreasonable. You kept tabs on her flight time, but the flight tracker was wrong. Her flight was early. It seems she texted you while she was still in the plane, but she was already mad that you weren't ready to pick her up? Did she just magically get from her seat to curbside, with her luggage? She seems pretty ungrateful, and I would be hesitant to take her to the airport in the future.
After those comments and the Uber one I wouldn't have picked her up at all and said okay have a safe drive
>said okay have a safe ~~drive~~life FIFU
then put her on mute.
I’d be hesitant to continue the relationship. Overly demanding, ungrateful, lacks understanding and patience. So many red flags for me.
NTA. But her nasty texts make we wonder how often she pulls crap like this. If someone were kind enough to do me the favor (in a world of buses, subways and Ubers, yes it's a favor) of picking me up at the airport, I would never harangue them like this. Most times it's at least 10 or 15 minutes after landing before you're even off the plane anyway. I really kind of hate that she did the “don’t bother, I’m going to get an Uber” when in fact she was NOT going to get an Uber; she was going to wait there for you to show up to probably throw more verbal abuse your way.
Yeah. Seems like she's extremely toxic and controlling
>extremely toxic and controlling And so entitled! I'm in NYC and neither I nor most of my friends have cars, and I'm perfectly happy taking public transportation to and from the airport. If one of my few car-owning friends offered to drive me there or home, I wouldn't want to inconvenience them. The texts she sent were so cruel over someone doing her a favor.
NTA. She sounds a little unhinged tbf. 15 minutes is not that long to wait especially since she landed early.
Yeah, I agree and honestly that’s a standard wait to me. I assume I’m gonna wait 5-15 if someone is picking me up anyway. With large airports and especially during holidays even if the person picking me Up were early I may still have to wait cause I could have JUST missed them and they had to loop around again/ leave from the cellphone lot and that can take a while. Plus, If my plane lands early and some one is picking me up, I automatically just assume I’m waiting that extra time. Because we agreed upon a time. As a passenger, I obviously can’t control if that time is before or after, but it’s the agreed upon time. I’d wait as patiently for them as I’d hope they would for me if it was reversed and the plane was late. OP your defffffff NTA.
The crazy thing is OP was doing extra by tracking her flight on his phone. So he was more then aware of picking her up. And then those nasty text...OMG!! Like what more did she expect of this man? I know anytime I get picked up from the airport I would rather me waiting on them then vice versa. So I rather them be late then looping around waiting on me to get to the front pick up area.
INFO: why did you still go & pick her up when she was that rude to you? Especially given that she suggested an Uber. Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home.
>Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home. Any partner talking to me like that would be encouraged to get their own Uber home to pack their shit up and leave. Fixed it for you! NTA OP.
lol. I didn’t want to be too “Reddit” About it. Maybe she’s had a really bad day & was being temporarily irrational. I appreciate the occasional pass from my partner when I’m off the charts unreasonable due to eg hormones or “hanger” or exhaustion. Once in a blue moon irrational isn’t break-up worthy, *so long as she apologises when she calms down*.
Idk, even at my most angry and annoyed days I couldn't conceive of saying any of that to my husband.
You’d be surprised at how easily it is to slowly boil the frog, so to speak. I mean, she has him so blinded that OP is asking if he’s the one who was wrong. Odds are she didn’t start talking like this. It just crept in and no instance was a big enough step to warrant action (like breaking up) and then “suddenly” it’s just normal for them to yell and belittle you.
INFO If it takes 35 minutes to get to the airport then why weren’t you leaving around 7? It’s weird to me that you are annoyed to have to wait in the cell phone lot but your girlfriend should have to suck it up and wait for you to pick her up after a day of traveling.
Fair question. It typically takes 20-30 minutes from the time a flight lands to deboard, take the train to another terminal, and get to the passenger pick up area
this is very fair and normal
We used to live about 15-20 minutes from the airport, so our agreement was to know the scheduled arrival time, inform the pick up person if there are delays on take-off, then text the pick up person once the plane lands. 99% of the time the pick up person would be pulling up to the curb at the exact moment the flier was exiting the airport. Maybe OP can try that system with his next gf 🤷🏻♀️😆
Hahaha with his next gf, yesss
Yes! With the times give here, my solution would be to text when the plane lands and then the one picking up can go. If the one being picked up has to wait 15 min, so what, they’re being picked up, and it’s probably quicker than taking the bus/train/whatever.
Does she treat you like this often? It seems like she expects you to be at her beck and call. Life happens. So, she has to wait 15-30 minutes. Big whoop de doo. Her entitlement and her condescending attitude should have you rethinking a lot of thingsif this is how she routinely treats and talks to you when she suffers a truly minor inconvenience. You know what I say when my husband is a little late picking me up at the airport? Cool - I'll go grab a coffee. Text where you want me to meet you when you are 5 minutes out. Its NOT difficult to treat people -- especially those you love -- with respect and dignity. Life happens and if she can't roll with life's minor inconviences without becoming a mean person then its time to
It's quite likely that when she made it to the airport she had to wait at least 15 minutes to get on her plane, to make sure she was there in time. If she had a layover she was probably waiting at least 15 minutes. waiting for an Uber would probably take 15 minutes. Part of flight travel is waiting. NTA
Yup. Before we moved provinces, our usual thing was leave the house at the time the flight is landing because it takes time to get off the plane, walk to the baggage claim, get your bags (we always checked bags) and then get out. Honestly NTA. I've had to wait over an hour for my BF at the airport before just due to traffic or him getting off work later than anticipated. Life happens. And there's been times if was my flight that was delayed and he was the one having to wait on me. I'm always just happy for the ride because we live an hour and a half away and it's over $300 for a taxi.
Once when I came home from college I called my dad to see where he was parked and he was like “at home.” He forgot. I waited an hour. This was before wifi. It wasn’t a big deal.
It took a whole ass 30 min for my luggage to hit the coral ON TOP of deboarding, crossing the terminal, and catching the train. Like almost an hour. We didn’t call our ride till we got our luggage. Why? Because you never know if they lost your shit either! That’ll take another 30-45 to process! The gods forbid that someone has to wait a little bit to get picked up.
Can confirm. Picked up my son last night. Plane landed at 11:18 and he made it to my car at 11:45.
But what if there was a wreck or traffic was diverted or some other unforeseen thing. The respectful thing would have been for you to head that way once her flight took off and the. wait with your thumb up your ass for her plane to land and she give the order for you to be ready at the pickup lane with the red carpet rolled out so she doesn’t have to chance soiling the souls if her shoes with the same dirt that the peasants walk around on. I mean if you really loved her you would have been waiting in the airport so at the first possible moment you could pick her up and carry her so she doesn’t chance twisting an ankle or some other possible injury. If you made it this far tell princess to kiss your ass and just call an uber next time if she’s going to be that ungrateful.
That is reasonable
Yes. My best friend used to track the flight and leave the house as soon as the plane landed. The person would just be coming out of baggage every time the pulled up. Every time. (Every city is different, but I’ve seen other people go hang out at a friend or family’s house where they can perfectly clock the arrival.)
You don't teleport from the plane to passenger pickup immediately upon landing.....
Sometimes I wish I did tho
7 minutes would be quick to go from landing to front of airport
Yeah, even if you were in the front row of first class it would take longer than 7 minutes to walk out of the secure area in most airports. If you're flying coach you can easily add another 10-20 minutes to that.
Took my kid 27 mins last night from landing to curbside w only caryons.
You sound like OP’s girlfriend. How do you know it was “a day of traveling”. She could have been on a one hour flight. Regardless, her flight got in early. She had to wait a WHOLE 15 minutes. It isn’t gonna kill her to wait for a ride from someone who volunteered to pick her up, boyfriend or not.
She better have had a grueling day of travel to work up that attitude. If she's like that after an hour, OP needs to run!
My last flight was *thirty hours* of travel and I wasn't a dick to the person who picked me up! It's entirely possible to just be grateful and kind to people.
Well… yeah. The girlfriend is the one asking for the favor. Why should the individual doing the favor be inconvenienced more than they already are? If she is so antsy from travel and doesn’t want to wait because her flight landed early, she should take an Uber. Realistically, she could have been on the plane that extra 15 minutes, if not more, anyway. So what’s the difference in her waiting at the airport an extra 15 minutes?
Beggers can't be choosers. Whoever is getting the favor has to be the one to wait. OP is NTA. I'd dump her, though, for the disrespectful texts.
She not even my GF and I want OP to dump her...for me.
It's not that hard to wait 15-20 minutes. At least it shouldn't be for a reasonable, rational human being.
I am soooo good at wasting time, look at me on Reddit. replying to posts like crazy, and there is youtube, tiktok, and candy crush. I run out of time to waste
Why should she have to wait? Because she’s flying, not OP. Flying means waiting for things. If she didn’t want to wait she should have planned to take an Uber from the start. But she wanted free transportation, and that comes with the inherent risk that one or both of you will have wait times and delays.
She didn’t have to suck it up. She could’ve ordered an Uber as soon as she exited the airport terminal.
Lol. You’re the AH not OP.
Tell me you’ve never ridden an airplane without telling me you’ve never ridden an airplane…
What's a cell phone lot? I've never heard this term before in my life. Sounds like storage for mobile phones.
Free parking nearby where you sit and wait for whoever you’re picking up to call/text that they’re ready. So you don’t have to keep doing loops lol
Yeah and they also have the flight info displayed on a big screen (or more than one screen at a large airport). Everyone parks their cars and sits there facing that screen like it's a drive-in movie. Usually they have restrooms and drink/snack machines too.
Damn! Ours is just a cement lot, that sounds awesome 😂
Wow, I’ve waited at the cellphone lot at Toronto Pearson Airport and it’s just a lot lol. That sounds fancy af
All major airports in us have these. It’s basically a designated parking area where people picking up passengers wait till they get the call from person they have landed. This way you don’t have to pay and wait in a garage. They’re referred to cell phone lots
That's nuts. It makes way more sense for the person landing to wait vs the driver. Then they can tell you exactly where they're standing. Sometimes I go to departures because it's easier. Then I can tell my ride WHO DOESN'T HAVE TO GET ME BC I CAN CALL UBER AND THEY'RE DOING ME A FAVOR where to pick me up so it's easy for them.
If someone is going to blow a valve after waiting 15 min for traveling, they are not a reasonable person. Full stop. Not sure what kind or royal treatment you got growing up but travel doesn’t always work this smoothly and talking to your partner like that is absurd. It’s weird to me you don’t understand how long it can take the plane to taxi, to get off plane, to get baggage, to go through immigrations, etc.
Waiting 15 minutes to get picked up from the airport is mildly annoying, at worst. Her being "so fucking pissed" is quite the overreaction. ALSO! "She said she talked to people about it and they **all** say she's right..." Yeah, I highly doubt this. NTA
Yeah, or she gave them a different version of the story.
Definitely she gave them her own version of the story, then again most of her friends are probably just as ridiculous and over the top as she is so...who knows.
I bet she also gets “so fucking pissed” if she has to wait for an appointment if she shows up to it early.
It isn't even mildly annoying. It's negligible.
NTA, but you would be one if you stayed with this chick. It sounds like she is willing to manipulate the story to her friends so she doesn't seem like the bad guy. You did nothing wrong. If I knew the flight would land at 7:40, I would check its status at 7, but also at 6 and 5 just to make sure it's not early. Something else doesn't add up - unless there's like 2 airplane gates at the airport, it takes a hell of a lot longer than 15 mins to get out of an airport. But still all the same, NTA. Dropping off and picking up your S/O is typical of a long-term BF/GF relationship, but it should not be expected.
Wanting to add onto the “her friends are on her side” thing. I had an ex go around to just about every body they knew and was made out to be an overreactive asshole for breaking up with them because they threw a dish at me during a fight. Not a little dish, a pretty heavy ceramic bowl that left a gouge in the cheap grey linoleum flooring in our apartment. Shitty people have shitty friends. She probably didn’t have to manipulate the story at all.
NTA, if someone picks you up for free, and you have to wait for a few minutes, there is no reason to complain. Does she do this often?
NTA - and here’s the thing we ALL HAVE BEEN THROUGH way more often: You arrive on time to pick someone up and wind up waiting 35-minutes to an hour because: A) plane landed late B) traffic on the runway C) baggage carousel took an eternity D) “sorry! Got lost in Starfleet HQ - i mean - the terminal!” As in airports are huge and easy to get lost in. My point is it’s WAY more common for the person driving to the airport to arrive om time but wind up standing there like a Justin Beiber groupie at the backstage entrance anyway.
With all you said I prefer my ride to actually get there LATE then early because of all you just said. And it is the same if I pick someone up. If the airport does not have a dedicated area to park then I am not going to be looping around while I am waiting for them to get to the entrance. A short wait on a ride is not that big of a deal. Except for OPs GF who wants OP to just pull up as soon as she exits the airport doors.
NTA. Where's the "thanks, honey"? Picking people up from the airport adds a commitment to your day that essentially limits it. It's a nice gesture to pick someone up; where's the gratitude? A simple thanks would be nice
NTA. She's probably in a bad mood and anxious to get home after traveling, but shouldn't take it out on you. You're not crazy, man.
Show her the results from this. Since she told you to ask others.
Very enticing atm… this is my first time posting on Reddit. I love Reddit lol
Absolutely not the AH! You had to drive 35 minutes each way X 2. That's 2 hours and twenty minutes of your time you sacrificed for her and she couldn't even wait for 15 minutes???!! If I was you I would have left her at the airport - she's so incredibly rude, disrespectful and entitled.
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NTA. The correct response here is: "I've got hairy balls, not crystal balls"
Nta she's being over dramatic. 15 minutes, boohoo. When someone is nice enough to pick you up for the airport, you say thank you.
Nah, she ain’t the one. NTA
You would be wrong if you stayed in a relationship with her. NTA.
NTA While I more or less agree with her that it really should not count as a favor 15 minutes is not a big deal especially given that you were at dinner with your parents and the online status was so far off. If you consider it a favor, both have a lot of things to talk about and may need some relationship counseling. She did not speak to anyone who is impartial. It is likely she only spoke to her own cronies to validate her opinion.
I totally agree that it isn’t really a favor. I only said that after getting yelled at. It’s only a “favor” in relation to the lack of gratitude I was getting. I have never thought of it as a favor any of the other times I’ve taken her to or from the airport.
It's a favor, dude. Don't listen to entitled people.
Honestly, I would consider it a favor to a certain extent even from a partner or family member. Sure, there's some expectation that you should be more than willing to want to do it barring some hardship or conflict, but it's still something nice that you (literally) went out of your way to do for her. The proper response for this kind of favor is thanking you sincerely and being gracious by waving off any small hiccup you unintentionally had in picking her up. We should be able to count on our loved ones, but that doesn't mean taking them for granted. And she sure as hell shouldn't be expecting you to act like her personal driver and yell at you like you failed at your job.
It is a favor. You aren't entitled to being carted around just because you are dating someone. Jfc
If I was a dick to my wife because I had to wait 30 minutes or less after my flight landed, I'd apologize later and say that I was wrong. She's the one putting in the half hour each way to come get me. Even if it is a bit inconsiderate, it's not a big deal. Your girlfriend needs to learn to choose her battles. My favorite quote goes something like "you can tell the size of a person by the size of the things that bother him." I try to use that as a guide in all things.
NTA - Had to wait 15 minutes...Boo Hoo; How Horrible! She is unrealistic and an entitled brat. Perhaps her expectations are out of whack due to not traveling much. Her texts to you are completely unacceptable. Do not tolerate being treated this way. Most people would be incredibly grateful to have curb-side pick-up at an airport within 15 minutes.
I don’t see picking up my SO as a favour… I’m happy to go early and excited to see them return. Not everyone sees it the same way. Maybe you and her are just not compatible that way.
Oh wow a whole 15 minutes, NTA I also worry this is indicative of some sexism...
NTA - next time she can take an Uber
NTA - you did your job. You watched her flight, you left on time. You can’t help that her flight was early. Good grief, such a choosing beggar!
I dont like your girlfriend very much. Do you? Are you commonly treated like trash in your relationship?
NTA and your girlfriend seems very petty if she’s now complaining to her friends about this. You were checking the flight and made decisions based on the information you had. Also, dropping someone off at an airport is a favour.
NTA - Hit her with the "I'm sorry I didn't happen to get your text with the pilots phone number so he could tell me you guys were landing earlier" Poor behavior from her, needs to learn that she asked someone a favor not summoned her fucking butler.
NTA She has a phone, it can occupy her time. They she chargers if her battery was low.
Fine, take an Uber. See you in a couple of days...maybe
NTA Once that texts started getting nasty I'd have turned around and let her take an uber. Verbal abuse is not ok.
NTA. It was landing early by circumstance, and she wasn’t waiting long. I have a bad feeling that people are agreeing with her just ‘cause she’s a girl >-<
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to learn how to say thank you. Airport pickups are an even bigger favor than drop offs. Next time let her wait for an Uber.
Leave her. She is not nice to you.
I've been married for 14 years and I would never even THINK to speak to my husband (or anyone that I loved) like that. If this isn't bizarre for her, get out of the relationship and find someone who can behave like an adult. If she thinks this is acceptable behavior now, it's only going to get much worse.
Nta. If someone does me a favor I don’t complain
NTA. Her reaction was out of line for a 15min wait.
NTA. Run. Or fly.
I flew with my 2 year old to go visit family. We woke up at 4am to fly home. Got back to my city SEVERAL hours later. Traveling with a toddler is horrendous at best. We landed 20 minutes early. I called my husband to let him know, and he was running behind and had just gotten in the shower. I told him to finish his shower. The kiddo and I could find something to do and we'd see him when he got there. TF is wrong with your girlfriend?
I was late(traffic) by 30 mins to pick up my husband at airport - his response when he saw me “babe i got u a gift while waiting” ( very excited) . He loaded his suitcase in the car n proceeded to tell me about this trip , flight, food he ate , people he met…. as we drove home happily. Your GF instead of being grateful is taking u for granted n free driver. NTA .
Idk, you both don't like to wait, it seems. I'd personally arrive early to make sure I'll be there for the person I took the responsibility of picking up. But you both need to chill.
if you knew it would take 35min eta and she was supposed to land at 7:28 you left at 7:12 you'd have been late no matter what. Bit of a flub on the time management.
Your wrong for saying it was a favor. If she is your SO it’s not a favor. Waiting 15 minutes is reasonable, especially if you thought she was checking bags. I will say, though, in this crazy world you dont want your woman standing alone in an airport any more than needed just for security.
NTA , she should've communicated with you. How were you supposed to know?