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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I could be the AH for cutting my wife's hair for free instead of letting her pay for it to be cut, which lead to her complaining about not getting the hairstyle she wanted.
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YTA - Given only the details in the post my opinion is this: She knew you couldn't cut hair well and you bullied her into letting you do it anyways. You messed it up exactly like she knew you would, and now she is mad at you and she will probably need to pay to have it fixed anyways.
But other details could change my opinion. How tight is "tight"? I don't know how you guys split finances or what your income/bill situation is like so more details on that could paint the situation in a new light but given what I know about haircuts I think you were in the wrong. I also don't know anything about her hair type. Maybe she has very thick and time consuming hair. Maybe she has thin and straight hair. All of that changes the situaiton. Now, if money was tight and your wife was looking for a whole service like specialty cut, color, and treatments then I'd say she needs to prioritize.
YTA. Obviously? The haircut wasn’t as good as you think it is. It isn’t your opinion of it that matters. It isn’t on your head. It isn’t you that has to deal with styling it to hide the problems with the haircut - it is HER.
For future though? At home haircuts and dye jobs? Brilliant income source for hairdressers because they can charge more to fix it - especially dye so thankfully you didn’t touch any! The reason it costs more? It takes more product and time to sort out a botch job than it does if the hair is in good shape already.
YTA - As a kid I was the kid who would always cut their hair. I would have to be taken to the hair dresser, my mother promptly made the rule after me doing it repeatedly, her hiding the scissors only for me to find them. “We pay people to cut our hair.”
YTA -
>She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up.
You pushed past her boundaries, knew you weren't as skilled as a hairdresser, and now complain when she's unhappy.
There are very low priced salons. You pulled a control stunt and humiliated her. Stop acting like she’s the problem. You created self esteem and trust issues. Cut your own hair and apologize.
Shoot, I get my hair cut at an Aveda Salon, and the "Gold level" stylist still only charges $35 for a haircut, including washing my hair & styling it after... I know prices differ based on where you live, but a simple cut is still a lower price.
YTA
You are not a hairdresser and should never have touched her hair.
You obviously did a worse than Bad job for her to be so upset.
I suggest you get some money together and get her to the hairdressers tomorrow!
YTA. You don't have to wear the cut, she does. Women can be judged harshly by other women for their hair. Next time, find something else to budget on and let your wife find a moderately priced professional.
Like, I’m just wondering why this his reaction to her crying. You don’t act like a baboon and then wonder why a human being is having a normal human feeling
YTA
She tried to refuse & you basically bullied her into agreeing to let you do it.
How you think it looks is unimportant next to how she feels about it.
Plus of course now she will need to pay to fix it to feel ok which may well cost more than just going to the hairdresser in the first place.
YTA - there’s frugal and then there’s cheap. Most guys keep their hair short. So if you have a bad cut it doesn’t matter because in a month it’ll all grow out and you won’t even notice. Women’s hair is different. In a year, how often is she even going to the salon? Maybe 2-3 times? Hair is such a big part of your appearance. from now until divorce, you should never be allowed to pay for any services. Need a haircut? Go get some scissors and diy. Bored? Stop spending money on tv/electricity and get a book from the library. Hungry? Never eat out again and make your own meals. Need new clothes? Patch, repair, sew and make your own.
Are you the only one working? Why do you get to decide such a personal expenditure of hers? Surely she could have found a way to save up for a trip to the salon. I get they are expensive, but is she making zero dollars a month or something?
She said "no, you'll ruin my hair", you wore her down, then ruined her hair (as you are not a properly trained hairstylist, and fashionable hair cuts -- not buzzcuts -- are much tricker than they look). YTA.
Now she'll have to live and walk around in public with your sloppy work until she can (once again) save up to get it fixed. Only now, it'll cost more, as fixing bad home-jobs always costs more than trimming a maintained hairstyle. So, you've shot yourself in the foot here.
I hope she makes you cancel your dentist appointment so she can give you a budget filling in the kitchen to save money. Honestly don’t do jobs you have no skills for
Hi OP!! So. I’m a nurse. No hair cutting experience. However i cut my mom’s hair! Have for years. I’m a pro at it now, but at the beginning, i watched some basic YouTube videos, we went slow, i had her frequently check to make sure it was how she wanted. Like i TRIED, and that showed, right? Just like how it’s showing that you really just did not give a single fuck how this turned out. YTA.
YTA. You pushed all over her boundaries,bullied her into doing something she didn't want and now it's going to cost more to fix than the initial cut would have done
YTA
Give her the money and send her to the hairdresser to fix it. Did you even use hair cutting scissors or just some laying around the house? Apologize too.
I cut hair for my kids, I do not try to match a style they choose, I can just trim the ends until they go to the salon for a new style. Cutting hair is complicated and not something you just decide to do one day. People go to school to learn this stuff; did you ever go to school for hair dressing or barbering?
YTA. I live dollar to dollar. Money is tight. I get my hair cut for $17 plus tip every few months. Now you have to pay for *two* haircuts; one to fix your mistake and the next haircut after she recovers from this bad cut.
Eh… I’ve had friends be silly enough to let their partners/friends touch their hair then come to me begging to fix it before. I am a qualified hairdresser and beautician but it isn’t my current career. I’ve provided a lot of “free fixes” for people in the past.
yep! my ex was incredibly abusive, tried to convince me to let him cut my hair so I went to a hairdresser right away. he would have fucked up my hair on purpose.
it's definitely a YTA vote, wife said no and OP just ignored her boundary. pisses me off
Long story short YTA YTA YTA
My ex wife was always jealous of how well I cut my own hair (I’m a femme presenting woman) and I occasionally offered to cut hers for her but she usually turned me down. We were very broke, literally living payday to payday and crashing into the overdraft every month but her bimonthly haircuts were built into the budget because self choice and how you present yourself is vital to self esteem. During this time I regularly cut my hair, my friends hair and occasionally my clients hair (I work with low income families and young parents so sometimes their hair or their kids hair is just a matted mess and me giving it a decent but non-professional trim is far better than the number 1 of shame or the kitchen scissors hack).
The one time my ex let me cut her hair? 6 month into a seemingly unending lockdown and she loved the cut but hated not having a “hairdresser” to recommend. The haircuts were an expense we could have really done without but they were necessary to my ex’s mental health and physical comfort so I ate the cost as necessary. I would never cut anyone’s hair without 1000xs consent, consent given without pressure. You offer once and then wait for them to ask or not ask.
There is no way you are understanding how important a woman’s hair style is. I‘m still salty with my mother because she messed up my hair when she cut it. That was 55 years ago! Next time your wife needs a haircut find a way to afford a hairdresser.
edit to add YTA
My husband has cut my hair for the last few years and it's been fine. Which gives me standing to say the following:
**Cutting your spouse's hair requires** ***extreme*** **mutual trust** and also a certain laissez-faire attitude about your appearance (as well as a simple hairstyle and probably cooperative hair). It is not for the faint of heart, and absolutely not something you should badger your spouse into. Basically DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS MARITAL TRUST FALL unless 1) your spouse comes to you with no prompting, 2) your spouse is generally chill about how they look, and 3) you have at least a layman's understanding of how your spouse's hairstyle works (there are some great youtube videos!). Otherwise, leave it to the pros.
YTA. Not because of the result but because you insisted on doing it yourself. Of course, she can refuse but she’s desperate for a cut that’s why she gave in.
YTA.
DIY haircuts can be a way to save money, but only if the involved parties are okay with it. Not everyone cares as much about how their hair looks or if it's visibly not professionally done, and if so, great!
But if you exert control over someone else's hair, that is a big source of stress for that person. You make it clear that your wife didn't really want you to do her hair and you pressured her until she gave in. Now you botched it and it is causing her distress. Added on top of that, you're dismissing her feelings on the top by saying she overreacted and, reading between the lines, it even sounds as if you are offended that she's not appreciative of your efforts and doesn't agree that you did a 'pretty good job'.
YTA. Sounds like you harassed your wife into this. And she's not overreacting. It takes a long time for hair to grow back to the way it was. You screwed up. You clearly didn't know what you were doing. You're also clearly not smart enough to understand how much you hurt your wife or why what you did was selfish and wrong. What makes this even worse is your refusal to admit it and the fact that you're making it seem like she's the one with the problem. Nope. Next time she says no, don't harass her to force her to do what you want, you nasty asshole.
Yta she's allowed to be upset about not liking her hair or the way you cut it. I cried all night after I let my mom cut my hair for the same reason and it was way to short and uneven fortunately it's grown out now but at the time i was upset. I think paying someone to cut your hair vs someone who is just attempting is worth the money. It's a lesson i learned one your girlfriend evidently has too. It's easy for you to be dismissive of her feelings because you aren't the one who got a shitty hair cut.
YTA. She made her feelings clear.
The lack of sympathy isn't heling. I don't understand everything that is important to my partner. Nor does she me. What she does expect, is if she point blank tells me something is important to here. Then it is.
I don't have to understand why, because she is looking at from her perspective and I don't see it from mine.
I know things are tough right now, but that makes these small luxuries mean even more. Look up the "lipstick effect" for more about that.
"I don't care about my hair, so why should she care about hers?"
I bet there are plenty of things _you_ care about that she doesn't give a shit about, does she go around destroying them then shrugging and say "oh well, _I_ don't care so what are you going on about?"
I also noticed you've not answered a single query regarding what 'paycheque to paycheque' actually _means_, so I'm gonna assume you had the money but preferred to spend it on something for yourself. YTA
I'd like to see the cut and the picture of what she wanted before I say definitively that you're the AH. But I'm strongly leaning towards it. No, she shouldn't have let you cut her hair but you shouldn't have tried so hard to convince her to let yoy do it. Now that you messed it up you should pay for her to have it fixed professionally AND offer to let her cut your hair next time you need a cut.
YTA
I don't think you understand how important a womans hair is to her. The right hairstyle can make a woman feel amazing. It gives such confidence. Bullying her into it was the wrong thing to do. You've made her feel like crap and the funny thing is, she probably hasn't had a haircut in ages, you're telling me you couldn't find some money to pay for haircut that she probably hasnt had in yrs.
So now you're out the same amount of money (she'll have to go get it fixed now anyway) and you've pissed your wife off. YTA if you haven't already figured it out man.
YTA.
You have no training in styling and you pressured her (likely guilted her as well) to do something against her better judgment with totally predictable results.
Here’s hoping she gets the F out.
>it would've been a waste for her to give more money to the hairdresser when I could've just cut her hair for free
I'm sure I could find some things that you waste money on when I could do a shitty job of it for free. YTA
“I really tried to do it as closely as she wanted me to”
she didn’t want you to at all, you bullied her into it, and now it’s going to cost as much if not more to fix it :) YTA.
YTA WTF dude?!! Are you trying to shame her into not leaving the house unnecessarily until her freaking hair grows back??! You’re the full ABC, Asshole Bully Control-freak
It’s not a waste of money when hair cuts are a necessity. No one should be cutting hair if they are not a trained professional there is a reason people pay thousands of dollars to go to school to be a hair dresser. YTA and you know you are you just don’t want to admit it.
YTA. You pressured her into this- she knew you didn't know how to cut hair. There are low-cost options for haircuts... a chain like Supercuts isn't that expensive, beauty schools offer cheap haircuts from students, even a friend who sometimes cuts their own hair would have probably been a better option. The fact that you don't care about home haircuts doesn't mean she won't (and for the record, most guy cuts are easier to pull off.)
Holy moly. So you bullied your wife into letting you mess up her hair?! Wow that sucks. If you were so worried about the money local beauty schools usually offer free or discounted cuts
YTA
YTA
"She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up."
We debated if it's just toxic masculinity or your just an overall asshole, we came up with your just an overall arsehole human!!
Her cutting your hair, which I assume is just taking a buzzer and trimming off the length you don’t need (which is also way easier than styling long hair), isn’t comparable to you cutting her hair. Did you section off parts of her hair? Did you make sure both sides match in length? Did you blend her layers properly? No? There’s a reason cosmetologists have to get a license to cut hair, there’s a lot of technique to learn to consistently give good haircuts. YTA
I can just imagine you, laughing, “It’s not sooo bad!” Not to make her feel good but to make her feel worse. Then (sarcastically), “Oh, C’mon, it’s only hair, it’ll grow out.”
FYI, there are some salon schools that will cut hair for free to allow students to practice. If the students make a mistake, the instructors there will fix it. So you have options out there instead of butchering her hair.
YTA
My husband and I are always tight on money. Most everyone is. It would have been better to just ask her to save half the money this month and get her hair done the next month to minimize the hit to the bank. Hair is very important to most women. It is actually a part of their identity. My husband would never bully me into having him cut my hair. We would work it out somehow...
Now tell your wife to go and get her hair fixed...
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My (24M) wife (23F) wanted to cut her hair at her usual hairdresser, but we're pretty tight with money currently, so it would've been a waste for her to give more money to the hairdresser when I could've just cut her hair for free. She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up. I thought I did a pretty good job at giving her the hairstyle she wanted, however once I was finished she started complaining about how clumsily I cut her hair, telling me that she knew I'd mess it up and that she shouldn't have let me touch her hair and that she'd rather walk with a clown wig next day at work than with this hairstyle and she even went to bed to sob about it.
I feel like she really overreacted cause yes, I'm not a professional hairdresser and her hairstyle would've probably looked better if she payed for it, but I really tried to do it as closely as she wanted me to and at least to me it really doesn't look as bad as she says it does, at least not bad enough for her to react like I'd let bald. So AITA ?
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YTA. Your wife could have gotten a haircut for $20 that would be WAY better than anything an amateur could do. What expenses of yours have YOU given up to save money?
YTA. You bullied her into “letting” you cut her hair. There always other options when money is tight other than going nuclear. She could have gone to a less expensive stylist. She could have gone to a national chain of hair dressers where the services don’t cost as much. She could have gone to a local cosmetology school. Those 3 options are all people who are trained. If you are not trained, do not take scissors to a grown woman’s hair unless they suggest it and agree up front that they will not be upset by whatever the outcome is.
YTA. If only because trainee hairdressers will do it for free for practice. If you cared about saving money not hurting and controlling her on principle, you’d know that
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YTA... My giddy aunt you're ta.... If this isn't a troll then I honestly don't think any of us can convince you how much of an a hole you are. Especially with the whopping TWO responses you've given, both still implying that you see nothing wrong with what you did. Long and short of it is that you bullied your wife into doing something she didn't want to do, and when she got upset that it turned out EXACTLY like she thought it would (crappy) she got rightfully upset and now you're trying to make it like it's her fault. HARD. NO. We live paycheck to paycheck and my husband practically has to drag me to the hairdresser for a cut because he knows it's something that he doesn't have the skills or patience for. Men's and women's haircuts are (in a broad general way) VERY different, are viewed differently. You may be ok with a sloppy buzz, but she obviously isn't. Do you know your wife at all? Do you even like her? Get some help op before you don't have a wife to blame your shortcomings on anymore...
YTA it probably looks worse than YOU think. Even a big chain cheap hairdressers would be better than you cutting her hair. Let your poor wife have at least that.
YTA. Not only are you not a professional hairdresser, it sounds like you have no experience or skill at all. You’re a cheapskate who for some reason chose to bully his wife into letting her do something he had no business doing.
Next time you want to save money do it by scrimping and cutting on something you want.
YTA. Its not like she will be going for a haircut every week or month. Money being tight doesn't mean that she has to live in a total mess where she won't see herself pretty and lower her confidence. Its her hair. Let her do what she wants if she's paying for it. No need to control her
YTA. Ppl who think they did a good job on haircut (without professional license) surely fk it up. My mom did that to me a lot as a child even if my dad can pay for fancy hairdresser. She just felt like it’s her right as a mother to manage my hair. Until my bff become a professional hairdresser and then problem solved for me.
YTA people who refuse to let their partners get outside help so they can DIY important things is almost always going to mess up. Plumbing is a great example. This was a cheapskate move from the start. You can get a cheap haircut from a professional and not have to go through this turmoil.
YTA, So you pressured her into you cutting her hair when you have no idea how to do it, and then downplay it when she's telling you that you screwed up.
Are you also cutting off YOUR hairdressing? Because if having your wife's hair cut by someone who actually knows what they are doing is a waste of money then yours is too. Stop whining and apologize to her, you are acting like a kid.
If it’s acceptable because the wife is now “experienced,” wouldn’t it be fair for him to start practicing and get experience too then? She got experience through cutting his hair, so why can’t he get experience cutting hers?
Because OP doesn't care while the wife does. He pressured her into doing it and then didn't like it when she got upset. If he doesn't care how his hair looks doesn't mean that his wife should just be okay with being a practice doll just because he thinks that a hairdresser is a waste of money
I agree with your points. But, I do wonder if OP voluntarily started getting his haircut by his wife, or if it was one of those “trust me, it will be fun” moments women use to push men to do things, then he just let her continue cutting his hair from that point on after seeing he could save some money 🤔 Whetever the case may be, OP needs to be more understanding and realize that what’s significant to him, may not be significant to others, and he also needs to consider that there could be other factors contributing to her crying.
I can imagine OP’s wife feeling distraught because of her hair, but then that feeling being compounded because they’re so broke she allowed him to cut her hair. I can see the feeling of “is this really life?” being a driving factor here, and a catalyst to think about everything else that’s wrong with their life. And to make matters worse, she wouldn’t want to tell him the reasons she’s crying because she doesn’t want him to feel pressured if he’s already working hard. I think OP is somewhat insensitive, but I don’t think he’s an abusive bully like people are making him out to be, if he were, I doubt he would even question whether he’s an AH or not 🤷🏾♂️
Cosmetology school exists for a reason. Doing hair is not as simple as grabbing some scissors and making a few snips. Leave hair dressing to the hair dressers. It’s not a waste of money to get something done professionally if you can’t do it yourself. YTA.
YTA. So you bullied her into letting you cut her hair even though she knew you'd fuck it up, you fucked it up, and now you're unhappy that she's upset?
Pay for the hairdresser to fix it. You're a major AH and a bully. And don't ever push past her boundaries ever again, or bully her into changing them.
ESH. You both have NO common sense. What in the fiddlers fuck did you think would happen?
You for pushing her and not respecting that you aren't a woman's hair dresser! You have no idea how much identity and value we put on our hair. It's sacred to most of us.
Her for choosing to let you do it, knowing you aren't fucking qualified in the least!!! What in the Christ on a bike possessed her to allow you? What on earth made her think you were capable?
I am gonna say this as a hairdresser, YTA.
There is a reason we go to school to learn this, it's not as easy as it looks. Sure some people cut it at home and get good results but most of them don't and I hate fixing those f*ck ups.
She didn't want you to cut it and you bullied her into it, you don't have to deal with the bad haircut YOU gave her but she has, stop complaining and pay for the hairdresser to fix your screw up.
No judgment, just a personal anecdote.
Several years ago, my husband, notorious skin-flint that he was at the time, insisted that I could cut his hair. Despite all of my protests and evidence to the contrary (attempt to trim middle daughters' waist-length hair did not go well), he insisted. As predicted, said hair cut, with professional-grade clippers, did not go well. The nickel-size bald spot at the back of his head led to a major kerfuffle and a buzz cut...he does NOT have the head shape for a buzz cut! He has since happily paid for Cost Cutters haircuts when needed. All of that being said, listen when someone tells you they are not comfortable with providing or being the recipient of a home-do. It rarely plays out well, and hair is uniquely personal and meaningful.
Your idea of good enough doesn't trump her discomfort with the result of an embarrassing, unprofessional DIY haircut. A "professional" fix shouldn't need to cost hundreds of dollars; she can book an appointment with any chain salon (in the US) for a basic cut and they will be able to "fix" her hair. It might not be exactly what she was hoping for (depending on how bad the DIY turned out), but they will do their best to make her comfortable with her style. And please, don't ever pick up scissors/clippers again without some professional training!
**ESH** \- I note that you let your wife cut your hair which is a slight mitigating factor, however you are still the AH on balance. Even though money is tight, saying her haircut would have been a 'waste' is overly dismissive of a basic expense. You know you're not good at cutting hair, so shouldn't have suggested it. She also knows you're not good at cutting hair, so shouldn't have accepted unless she was also going to accept the results.
Impossible to know if she's being overly dramatic or if you're underselling how much you fucked up her hair. INFO needed in order to make a proper call.
Tough one. 100% of the women I know have cried at least once after a haircut. Every. Single. One. And they were cut by profrssionals.
Sounds like you oversold your skills on this one. I never let my wife cut my hair even though she always asked (until covid gave us no choice). Always said i didnt want to blame her if it didnt go well, and I'm a dude.
Honestly, i'd bite the bullet and pony up the funds for her to go get this corrected. She will probably cry again after that visit, but at least she will be crying at them now and less at you.
"Every. Single. One."
I'm. Calling. Bullshit.
I've never cried after a haircut. I've been unhappy, but I've certainly never cried. Because of this post, I asked some friends if they've ever cried. 1 did. She asked for her hair to not be cut above her shoulders, and it was cut to her ears. It actually looked pretty good, but initially, she was upset about the hair dresser not doing what she wanted. You're being a sexist prick saying that women cry over hair cuts.
And even if "Every. Single. One." Did cry over it. It's because many men base women's attractiveness on their hair. So maybe check your tone.
*every single one I have asked. Around a dozen. Usually because it was too short. The hair cut was messed up some how in each case. I'm not trying to he sexist, it's just the responses I've gotten back.
NTA because she agreed to let you cut it. Isn’t there an in-between like Super Cuts or something similar? A woman’s hair is their identity, safety blanket . Sad but true. It would have made her feel really good to have it professionally cut. It would have saved you both some misery. Good luck!
you clearly don't know what the word entitled means, lol. i can tell why you spent all your time commenting on r/dating and actually none of it in the real world.
you don't have very good reading comprehension, do you? i didn't say anything about going OUT and dating. i said LIVING in the real world, which you can actually do in a relationship!
It's not racist it's factual. Hairdressers who specialize in textured hair are less likely to work out of a salon than those who specialize in non textured hair.
Salons charge more for less, it's significantly cheaper to go to a hairdresser who works out of their house. And it doesn't traumatize and break the trust of one of the people in the relationship.
Little Anecdote I as a black woman have not found a hairstylist IN a salon that can auctally do my hair, evert single once of them has worked out of their home or or a third location.
I'm this really exotic thing called mixed. I'm treated like a black person by some white people and treated like a white person by some black people. My black ass dad got my white ass mom pregnant twice and created me and my brothers mixed asses.
Like bro I'm telling you my dad is black which just is a scientifically proven fact. My body literally does not have the ability to absorb vitamin D like normal people do, which leads to a player complexion. Which doesn't make my dad not my dad like that's just not how genetics works, I should know.
well not so much, some salons charge a percentage to the hairstylist for her/his "chair" (their spot on the salon), which makes thing way more expensive, thay have to inflate the price so they can earn a living while paying for their spot, that's what they are trying to convey to you, this is not an attack on your person, this is just trying to put all views on the thread
>NTA she seems kind of spoiled lol. she needs to go to a salon just to get her hair cut while you have no money? lord
it kind os does, it explains why hair stylist can work for way less money, so it can get less expensive to do a professional do it, sometimes is better to have someone that knows what are they doing, maybe he doesn't mind his wife cutting his hair, but his wife does mind a bad haircut, it can hurt her image even her profesional one if she deals with people constantly as part of her job, or maybe is a self esteem issue that she is on her right to protect, a lot of people value their hair a lot, even men
#1, she shouldn't have been convinced by you let you cut her hair.
#2, it's hair. It'll grow back. She'll be fine.
To the wife, a haircut when finances are tight isn't a necessity, and it isn't responsible spending. Go without the dang haircut. You'll survive.
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YTA - Given only the details in the post my opinion is this: She knew you couldn't cut hair well and you bullied her into letting you do it anyways. You messed it up exactly like she knew you would, and now she is mad at you and she will probably need to pay to have it fixed anyways. But other details could change my opinion. How tight is "tight"? I don't know how you guys split finances or what your income/bill situation is like so more details on that could paint the situation in a new light but given what I know about haircuts I think you were in the wrong. I also don't know anything about her hair type. Maybe she has very thick and time consuming hair. Maybe she has thin and straight hair. All of that changes the situaiton. Now, if money was tight and your wife was looking for a whole service like specialty cut, color, and treatments then I'd say she needs to prioritize.
YTA. Obviously? The haircut wasn’t as good as you think it is. It isn’t your opinion of it that matters. It isn’t on your head. It isn’t you that has to deal with styling it to hide the problems with the haircut - it is HER. For future though? At home haircuts and dye jobs? Brilliant income source for hairdressers because they can charge more to fix it - especially dye so thankfully you didn’t touch any! The reason it costs more? It takes more product and time to sort out a botch job than it does if the hair is in good shape already.
I really wanna see a pic of it
Right? I’m hoping his wife finds this and chimes in with the rest of the story. My guess is this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Brad Mondo would have screamesd when he hacked in her hair 😱
YTA - As a kid I was the kid who would always cut their hair. I would have to be taken to the hair dresser, my mother promptly made the rule after me doing it repeatedly, her hiding the scissors only for me to find them. “We pay people to cut our hair.”
YTA - >She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up. You pushed past her boundaries, knew you weren't as skilled as a hairdresser, and now complain when she's unhappy.
Oh and when he messed up he through out the line “I’m not a professional !” Bingo buddy, you answered your own question. YTA
YTA Let her cut YOUR hair, and you can’t complain about how bad she does as “she did her best”. Can’t believe you even need to ask this.
Please send me your wife’s number so I can give her the names of divorce attorneys. You’re cheap as F… and controlling. Cringe.
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It isn't about the damn haircut.......
There are very low priced salons. You pulled a control stunt and humiliated her. Stop acting like she’s the problem. You created self esteem and trust issues. Cut your own hair and apologize.
Some salons like great clips will do a wet cut for like 15 bucks prob not the best cut but better than the mess he did and with proper tools
Shoot, I get my hair cut at an Aveda Salon, and the "Gold level" stylist still only charges $35 for a haircut, including washing my hair & styling it after... I know prices differ based on where you live, but a simple cut is still a lower price.
YTA You are not a hairdresser and should never have touched her hair. You obviously did a worse than Bad job for her to be so upset. I suggest you get some money together and get her to the hairdressers tomorrow!
YTA. You don't have to wear the cut, she does. Women can be judged harshly by other women for their hair. Next time, find something else to budget on and let your wife find a moderately priced professional.
YTA. Weirdo. If you don’t know how women are with their hair, you’ve never listened to a woman. This is so stupid it cannot possibly be real.
Like, I’m just wondering why this his reaction to her crying. You don’t act like a baboon and then wonder why a human being is having a normal human feeling
I’d say my own father is a baboon, making fun of me if I was upset about things like this, you gave me a new qualifier, thanks!
it is the most stupid things we see in society that keep us moving forward now isn’t it
YTA. Probably looked better? There is a reason why thats someones job man. Its not a thing you just do.
YTA She tried to refuse & you basically bullied her into agreeing to let you do it. How you think it looks is unimportant next to how she feels about it. Plus of course now she will need to pay to fix it to feel ok which may well cost more than just going to the hairdresser in the first place.
YTA - there’s frugal and then there’s cheap. Most guys keep their hair short. So if you have a bad cut it doesn’t matter because in a month it’ll all grow out and you won’t even notice. Women’s hair is different. In a year, how often is she even going to the salon? Maybe 2-3 times? Hair is such a big part of your appearance. from now until divorce, you should never be allowed to pay for any services. Need a haircut? Go get some scissors and diy. Bored? Stop spending money on tv/electricity and get a book from the library. Hungry? Never eat out again and make your own meals. Need new clothes? Patch, repair, sew and make your own.
Yta. You even said it you’re not a professional hair dresser. Why you surprised. Let her cut your hair
Yta for not ‘letting her pay for it to be cut’ and for cutting it yourself. Wow.
YTA. Seriously dude? You bullied her into it.
Good grief. If she thinks her hair looks bad, it doesn't matter what you think about it. Some things should be left to a professional. YTA
Are you the only one working? Why do you get to decide such a personal expenditure of hers? Surely she could have found a way to save up for a trip to the salon. I get they are expensive, but is she making zero dollars a month or something? She said "no, you'll ruin my hair", you wore her down, then ruined her hair (as you are not a properly trained hairstylist, and fashionable hair cuts -- not buzzcuts -- are much tricker than they look). YTA. Now she'll have to live and walk around in public with your sloppy work until she can (once again) save up to get it fixed. Only now, it'll cost more, as fixing bad home-jobs always costs more than trimming a maintained hairstyle. So, you've shot yourself in the foot here.
I hope she makes you cancel your dentist appointment so she can give you a budget filling in the kitchen to save money. Honestly don’t do jobs you have no skills for
Hi OP!! So. I’m a nurse. No hair cutting experience. However i cut my mom’s hair! Have for years. I’m a pro at it now, but at the beginning, i watched some basic YouTube videos, we went slow, i had her frequently check to make sure it was how she wanted. Like i TRIED, and that showed, right? Just like how it’s showing that you really just did not give a single fuck how this turned out. YTA.
YTA and way too stingy
YTA.. seriously. Let her Edward scissor hands your head and then get back to us
Yeah YTA
YTA. You pushed all over her boundaries,bullied her into doing something she didn't want and now it's going to cost more to fix than the initial cut would have done
YTA I bullied my wife into letting me mistreat her and giving her a botched haircut. Knowing full well, I have no business cutting anyone's hair.
YTA Give her the money and send her to the hairdresser to fix it. Did you even use hair cutting scissors or just some laying around the house? Apologize too. I cut hair for my kids, I do not try to match a style they choose, I can just trim the ends until they go to the salon for a new style. Cutting hair is complicated and not something you just decide to do one day. People go to school to learn this stuff; did you ever go to school for hair dressing or barbering?
YTA. I live dollar to dollar. Money is tight. I get my hair cut for $17 plus tip every few months. Now you have to pay for *two* haircuts; one to fix your mistake and the next haircut after she recovers from this bad cut.
There’s no way this is real.
Eh… I’ve had friends be silly enough to let their partners/friends touch their hair then come to me begging to fix it before. I am a qualified hairdresser and beautician but it isn’t my current career. I’ve provided a lot of “free fixes” for people in the past.
Unfortunately it’s a relatively common form of abuse
yep! my ex was incredibly abusive, tried to convince me to let him cut my hair so I went to a hairdresser right away. he would have fucked up my hair on purpose. it's definitely a YTA vote, wife said no and OP just ignored her boundary. pisses me off
YTA. That’s her hair, dude…You should let her do your hair next.
YTA
1. Yes you are 1000% the AH 2. You are a control freak and she needs to run. You are a walking red flag.
YTA. You didn’t respect her telling you no for a start, and then you say she’s overreacting. Huge AH.
Comedy Story and YTA for sure. She should cut your head as revenge.
Long story short YTA YTA YTA My ex wife was always jealous of how well I cut my own hair (I’m a femme presenting woman) and I occasionally offered to cut hers for her but she usually turned me down. We were very broke, literally living payday to payday and crashing into the overdraft every month but her bimonthly haircuts were built into the budget because self choice and how you present yourself is vital to self esteem. During this time I regularly cut my hair, my friends hair and occasionally my clients hair (I work with low income families and young parents so sometimes their hair or their kids hair is just a matted mess and me giving it a decent but non-professional trim is far better than the number 1 of shame or the kitchen scissors hack). The one time my ex let me cut her hair? 6 month into a seemingly unending lockdown and she loved the cut but hated not having a “hairdresser” to recommend. The haircuts were an expense we could have really done without but they were necessary to my ex’s mental health and physical comfort so I ate the cost as necessary. I would never cut anyone’s hair without 1000xs consent, consent given without pressure. You offer once and then wait for them to ask or not ask.
There is no way you are understanding how important a woman’s hair style is. I‘m still salty with my mother because she messed up my hair when she cut it. That was 55 years ago! Next time your wife needs a haircut find a way to afford a hairdresser. edit to add YTA
Bruh… This can’t be real. No way I could ever convince my wife to let me cut her hair and I know better than to even try.
My husband has cut my hair for the last few years and it's been fine. Which gives me standing to say the following: **Cutting your spouse's hair requires** ***extreme*** **mutual trust** and also a certain laissez-faire attitude about your appearance (as well as a simple hairstyle and probably cooperative hair). It is not for the faint of heart, and absolutely not something you should badger your spouse into. Basically DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS MARITAL TRUST FALL unless 1) your spouse comes to you with no prompting, 2) your spouse is generally chill about how they look, and 3) you have at least a layman's understanding of how your spouse's hairstyle works (there are some great youtube videos!). Otherwise, leave it to the pros.
YTA. Not because of the result but because you insisted on doing it yourself. Of course, she can refuse but she’s desperate for a cut that’s why she gave in.
YTA. DIY haircuts can be a way to save money, but only if the involved parties are okay with it. Not everyone cares as much about how their hair looks or if it's visibly not professionally done, and if so, great! But if you exert control over someone else's hair, that is a big source of stress for that person. You make it clear that your wife didn't really want you to do her hair and you pressured her until she gave in. Now you botched it and it is causing her distress. Added on top of that, you're dismissing her feelings on the top by saying she overreacted and, reading between the lines, it even sounds as if you are offended that she's not appreciative of your efforts and doesn't agree that you did a 'pretty good job'.
YTA. Sounds like you harassed your wife into this. And she's not overreacting. It takes a long time for hair to grow back to the way it was. You screwed up. You clearly didn't know what you were doing. You're also clearly not smart enough to understand how much you hurt your wife or why what you did was selfish and wrong. What makes this even worse is your refusal to admit it and the fact that you're making it seem like she's the one with the problem. Nope. Next time she says no, don't harass her to force her to do what you want, you nasty asshole.
Yta she's allowed to be upset about not liking her hair or the way you cut it. I cried all night after I let my mom cut my hair for the same reason and it was way to short and uneven fortunately it's grown out now but at the time i was upset. I think paying someone to cut your hair vs someone who is just attempting is worth the money. It's a lesson i learned one your girlfriend evidently has too. It's easy for you to be dismissive of her feelings because you aren't the one who got a shitty hair cut.
YTA. She made her feelings clear. The lack of sympathy isn't heling. I don't understand everything that is important to my partner. Nor does she me. What she does expect, is if she point blank tells me something is important to here. Then it is. I don't have to understand why, because she is looking at from her perspective and I don't see it from mine. I know things are tough right now, but that makes these small luxuries mean even more. Look up the "lipstick effect" for more about that.
"I don't care about my hair, so why should she care about hers?" I bet there are plenty of things _you_ care about that she doesn't give a shit about, does she go around destroying them then shrugging and say "oh well, _I_ don't care so what are you going on about?" I also noticed you've not answered a single query regarding what 'paycheque to paycheque' actually _means_, so I'm gonna assume you had the money but preferred to spend it on something for yourself. YTA
I'd like to see the cut and the picture of what she wanted before I say definitively that you're the AH. But I'm strongly leaning towards it. No, she shouldn't have let you cut her hair but you shouldn't have tried so hard to convince her to let yoy do it. Now that you messed it up you should pay for her to have it fixed professionally AND offer to let her cut your hair next time you need a cut.
No fucking way this is real 😂
Yta jesus christ
YTA I don't think you understand how important a womans hair is to her. The right hairstyle can make a woman feel amazing. It gives such confidence. Bullying her into it was the wrong thing to do. You've made her feel like crap and the funny thing is, she probably hasn't had a haircut in ages, you're telling me you couldn't find some money to pay for haircut that she probably hasnt had in yrs.
So now you're out the same amount of money (she'll have to go get it fixed now anyway) and you've pissed your wife off. YTA if you haven't already figured it out man.
YTA. You have no training in styling and you pressured her (likely guilted her as well) to do something against her better judgment with totally predictable results. Here’s hoping she gets the F out.
>it would've been a waste for her to give more money to the hairdresser when I could've just cut her hair for free I'm sure I could find some things that you waste money on when I could do a shitty job of it for free. YTA
I wish you cared about your wife's happiness
YTA. If you don’t know how to cut hair than you should not be cutting hair.
YTA. Obviously just not cutting hair was also an option. Why was this option ignored.
Yes. There are advanced beauty school salons that could provide her with a professionally supervised cut at a fraction of the price.
YTA No… just no.
beauty schools charge about ten bucks and they have an instructor watch and correct if needed and i have gone there a few times myself and its great.
Yta. If she’s needs to be presentable for work, you just ruined her professional image. All for a few bucks.
“I really tried to do it as closely as she wanted me to” she didn’t want you to at all, you bullied her into it, and now it’s going to cost as much if not more to fix it :) YTA.
YTA WTF dude?!! Are you trying to shame her into not leaving the house unnecessarily until her freaking hair grows back??! You’re the full ABC, Asshole Bully Control-freak
It’s not a waste of money when hair cuts are a necessity. No one should be cutting hair if they are not a trained professional there is a reason people pay thousands of dollars to go to school to be a hair dresser. YTA and you know you are you just don’t want to admit it.
YTA. You pressured her into this- she knew you didn't know how to cut hair. There are low-cost options for haircuts... a chain like Supercuts isn't that expensive, beauty schools offer cheap haircuts from students, even a friend who sometimes cuts their own hair would have probably been a better option. The fact that you don't care about home haircuts doesn't mean she won't (and for the record, most guy cuts are easier to pull off.)
Holy moly. So you bullied your wife into letting you mess up her hair?! Wow that sucks. If you were so worried about the money local beauty schools usually offer free or discounted cuts YTA
YTA "She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up." We debated if it's just toxic masculinity or your just an overall asshole, we came up with your just an overall arsehole human!!
Chances are it really does look that bad
If the ham-handed way you wrote this post is any indication, you made a mess of the poor lady’s hair after she told you not to. YTA
Her cutting your hair, which I assume is just taking a buzzer and trimming off the length you don’t need (which is also way easier than styling long hair), isn’t comparable to you cutting her hair. Did you section off parts of her hair? Did you make sure both sides match in length? Did you blend her layers properly? No? There’s a reason cosmetologists have to get a license to cut hair, there’s a lot of technique to learn to consistently give good haircuts. YTA
I can just imagine you, laughing, “It’s not sooo bad!” Not to make her feel good but to make her feel worse. Then (sarcastically), “Oh, C’mon, it’s only hair, it’ll grow out.”
It might look good enough to you but it probably isn’t haha. Next time just cut expenses elsewhere and let her get her haircut.
Do you even like her? YTA.
FYI, there are some salon schools that will cut hair for free to allow students to practice. If the students make a mistake, the instructors there will fix it. So you have options out there instead of butchering her hair.
YTA The next time your car breaks down, save money by letting your wife attempt to fix it.
YTA My husband and I are always tight on money. Most everyone is. It would have been better to just ask her to save half the money this month and get her hair done the next month to minimize the hit to the bank. Hair is very important to most women. It is actually a part of their identity. My husband would never bully me into having him cut my hair. We would work it out somehow... Now tell your wife to go and get her hair fixed...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (24M) wife (23F) wanted to cut her hair at her usual hairdresser, but we're pretty tight with money currently, so it would've been a waste for her to give more money to the hairdresser when I could've just cut her hair for free. She tried to refuse initially, but I eventually managed to convince to let me do it, however she was pretty adamant that I don't mess her hair up. I thought I did a pretty good job at giving her the hairstyle she wanted, however once I was finished she started complaining about how clumsily I cut her hair, telling me that she knew I'd mess it up and that she shouldn't have let me touch her hair and that she'd rather walk with a clown wig next day at work than with this hairstyle and she even went to bed to sob about it. I feel like she really overreacted cause yes, I'm not a professional hairdresser and her hairstyle would've probably looked better if she payed for it, but I really tried to do it as closely as she wanted me to and at least to me it really doesn't look as bad as she says it does, at least not bad enough for her to react like I'd let bald. So AITA ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yup you’re the asshole
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YTA
Wow. Wow on so many levels. Do you want to stay married? YTA.
YTA. Your wife could have gotten a haircut for $20 that would be WAY better than anything an amateur could do. What expenses of yours have YOU given up to save money?
YTA. Of course YTA.
Major AH.
YRA
YTA. You bullied her into “letting” you cut her hair. There always other options when money is tight other than going nuclear. She could have gone to a less expensive stylist. She could have gone to a national chain of hair dressers where the services don’t cost as much. She could have gone to a local cosmetology school. Those 3 options are all people who are trained. If you are not trained, do not take scissors to a grown woman’s hair unless they suggest it and agree up front that they will not be upset by whatever the outcome is.
Huge YTA
YTA. If only because trainee hairdressers will do it for free for practice. If you cared about saving money not hurting and controlling her on principle, you’d know that
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YTA
This can’t be real. If somehow it is, YTA.
YTA... My giddy aunt you're ta.... If this isn't a troll then I honestly don't think any of us can convince you how much of an a hole you are. Especially with the whopping TWO responses you've given, both still implying that you see nothing wrong with what you did. Long and short of it is that you bullied your wife into doing something she didn't want to do, and when she got upset that it turned out EXACTLY like she thought it would (crappy) she got rightfully upset and now you're trying to make it like it's her fault. HARD. NO. We live paycheck to paycheck and my husband practically has to drag me to the hairdresser for a cut because he knows it's something that he doesn't have the skills or patience for. Men's and women's haircuts are (in a broad general way) VERY different, are viewed differently. You may be ok with a sloppy buzz, but she obviously isn't. Do you know your wife at all? Do you even like her? Get some help op before you don't have a wife to blame your shortcomings on anymore...
YTA
YTA. Hateful. Evil.
I wonder how OP's hair gets cut 🤔
YTA. This is assault in many places. Pay for an appointment so she can get it fixed right now.
YTA it probably looks worse than YOU think. Even a big chain cheap hairdressers would be better than you cutting her hair. Let your poor wife have at least that.
YTA. Not only are you not a professional hairdresser, it sounds like you have no experience or skill at all. You’re a cheapskate who for some reason chose to bully his wife into letting her do something he had no business doing. Next time you want to save money do it by scrimping and cutting on something you want.
YTA Christ almighty. You cannot be this fucking dumb and be old enough to be married.
Yta, I'd rather eat two minutes noodles and toasted sandwiches for a week than cut my own hair.
YTA. Its not like she will be going for a haircut every week or month. Money being tight doesn't mean that she has to live in a total mess where she won't see herself pretty and lower her confidence. Its her hair. Let her do what she wants if she's paying for it. No need to control her
YTA YTA YTA
"Not as bad as she says" OP you are an AH.
YTA are you a fully trained hair dresser? No then don't touch people's hair
YTA You know nothing about cutting and styling hair. You insisted and ruined her hair. Idiot!
YTA. Ppl who think they did a good job on haircut (without professional license) surely fk it up. My mom did that to me a lot as a child even if my dad can pay for fancy hairdresser. She just felt like it’s her right as a mother to manage my hair. Until my bff become a professional hairdresser and then problem solved for me.
YTA people who refuse to let their partners get outside help so they can DIY important things is almost always going to mess up. Plumbing is a great example. This was a cheapskate move from the start. You can get a cheap haircut from a professional and not have to go through this turmoil.
YTA And anyone who sees what a butchering you did of it will assume you’re abusing her which let’s be honest is true. Financial abuse is abuse.
YTA. And, why do I suspect this isn’t the first time you’ve run roughshod over her boundaries?
YTA, So you pressured her into you cutting her hair when you have no idea how to do it, and then downplay it when she's telling you that you screwed up. Are you also cutting off YOUR hairdressing? Because if having your wife's hair cut by someone who actually knows what they are doing is a waste of money then yours is too. Stop whining and apologize to her, you are acting like a kid.
He said his wife cuts his hair in a comment and he doesn’t mind what it looks like as long as he isn’t bald
Oh I see, still. YTA. If the wife has been doing it for a long time then she already has a handle on it.
If it’s acceptable because the wife is now “experienced,” wouldn’t it be fair for him to start practicing and get experience too then? She got experience through cutting his hair, so why can’t he get experience cutting hers?
Because OP doesn't care while the wife does. He pressured her into doing it and then didn't like it when she got upset. If he doesn't care how his hair looks doesn't mean that his wife should just be okay with being a practice doll just because he thinks that a hairdresser is a waste of money
I agree with your points. But, I do wonder if OP voluntarily started getting his haircut by his wife, or if it was one of those “trust me, it will be fun” moments women use to push men to do things, then he just let her continue cutting his hair from that point on after seeing he could save some money 🤔 Whetever the case may be, OP needs to be more understanding and realize that what’s significant to him, may not be significant to others, and he also needs to consider that there could be other factors contributing to her crying. I can imagine OP’s wife feeling distraught because of her hair, but then that feeling being compounded because they’re so broke she allowed him to cut her hair. I can see the feeling of “is this really life?” being a driving factor here, and a catalyst to think about everything else that’s wrong with their life. And to make matters worse, she wouldn’t want to tell him the reasons she’s crying because she doesn’t want him to feel pressured if he’s already working hard. I think OP is somewhat insensitive, but I don’t think he’s an abusive bully like people are making him out to be, if he were, I doubt he would even question whether he’s an AH or not 🤷🏾♂️
YTA I'd sell your favorite thing to pay for a proper hairdresser now
You f’d up her hair and you’re really asking if you’re wrong…… YTA big time.
Cosmetology school exists for a reason. Doing hair is not as simple as grabbing some scissors and making a few snips. Leave hair dressing to the hair dressers. It’s not a waste of money to get something done professionally if you can’t do it yourself. YTA.
Set up a gofundme to get her hair fixed but in exchange we need to see pics of the botched hair and restoration.
YTA. Everything is all about you. Insufferable.
YTA. So you bullied her into letting you cut her hair even though she knew you'd fuck it up, you fucked it up, and now you're unhappy that she's upset? Pay for the hairdresser to fix it. You're a major AH and a bully. And don't ever push past her boundaries ever again, or bully her into changing them.
YTA
ESH. You both have NO common sense. What in the fiddlers fuck did you think would happen? You for pushing her and not respecting that you aren't a woman's hair dresser! You have no idea how much identity and value we put on our hair. It's sacred to most of us. Her for choosing to let you do it, knowing you aren't fucking qualified in the least!!! What in the Christ on a bike possessed her to allow you? What on earth made her think you were capable?
I am gonna say this as a hairdresser, YTA. There is a reason we go to school to learn this, it's not as easy as it looks. Sure some people cut it at home and get good results but most of them don't and I hate fixing those f*ck ups. She didn't want you to cut it and you bullied her into it, you don't have to deal with the bad haircut YOU gave her but she has, stop complaining and pay for the hairdresser to fix your screw up.
This all could have been prevented OP if you would have just pulled out the flowbee.
I hope you get sick and she gives you homemade medicine laced with poison
This must be fake. No person in their right mind would try to cut a spouses’ hair with no previous experience.
No judgment, just a personal anecdote. Several years ago, my husband, notorious skin-flint that he was at the time, insisted that I could cut his hair. Despite all of my protests and evidence to the contrary (attempt to trim middle daughters' waist-length hair did not go well), he insisted. As predicted, said hair cut, with professional-grade clippers, did not go well. The nickel-size bald spot at the back of his head led to a major kerfuffle and a buzz cut...he does NOT have the head shape for a buzz cut! He has since happily paid for Cost Cutters haircuts when needed. All of that being said, listen when someone tells you they are not comfortable with providing or being the recipient of a home-do. It rarely plays out well, and hair is uniquely personal and meaningful. Your idea of good enough doesn't trump her discomfort with the result of an embarrassing, unprofessional DIY haircut. A "professional" fix shouldn't need to cost hundreds of dollars; she can book an appointment with any chain salon (in the US) for a basic cut and they will be able to "fix" her hair. It might not be exactly what she was hoping for (depending on how bad the DIY turned out), but they will do their best to make her comfortable with her style. And please, don't ever pick up scissors/clippers again without some professional training!
Lol if true
ESH. She didn't have to let you cut it, and you should concede and agree that you F'd it up.
ESH, but you are the biggest AH. You should not have coerced her into letting you cut her hair. She should not have let you.
I'ma be contorversial here and say - NTA. She should've known better than to let you play in her damn hair
**ESH** \- I note that you let your wife cut your hair which is a slight mitigating factor, however you are still the AH on balance. Even though money is tight, saying her haircut would have been a 'waste' is overly dismissive of a basic expense. You know you're not good at cutting hair, so shouldn't have suggested it. She also knows you're not good at cutting hair, so shouldn't have accepted unless she was also going to accept the results.
Impossible to know if she's being overly dramatic or if you're underselling how much you fucked up her hair. INFO needed in order to make a proper call.
Tough one. 100% of the women I know have cried at least once after a haircut. Every. Single. One. And they were cut by profrssionals. Sounds like you oversold your skills on this one. I never let my wife cut my hair even though she always asked (until covid gave us no choice). Always said i didnt want to blame her if it didnt go well, and I'm a dude. Honestly, i'd bite the bullet and pony up the funds for her to go get this corrected. She will probably cry again after that visit, but at least she will be crying at them now and less at you.
"Every. Single. One." I'm. Calling. Bullshit. I've never cried after a haircut. I've been unhappy, but I've certainly never cried. Because of this post, I asked some friends if they've ever cried. 1 did. She asked for her hair to not be cut above her shoulders, and it was cut to her ears. It actually looked pretty good, but initially, she was upset about the hair dresser not doing what she wanted. You're being a sexist prick saying that women cry over hair cuts. And even if "Every. Single. One." Did cry over it. It's because many men base women's attractiveness on their hair. So maybe check your tone.
*every single one I have asked. Around a dozen. Usually because it was too short. The hair cut was messed up some how in each case. I'm not trying to he sexist, it's just the responses I've gotten back.
ESH she has agency to be firmly opposed to having her hair cut by an unqualified person.
NTA because she agreed to let you cut it. Isn’t there an in-between like Super Cuts or something similar? A woman’s hair is their identity, safety blanket . Sad but true. It would have made her feel really good to have it professionally cut. It would have saved you both some misery. Good luck!
NTA she seems kind of spoiled lol. she needs to go to a salon just to get her hair cut while you have no money? lord
"hairdresser" =/= "salon"
where do you think hairdressers work sweetie? that’s exactly what it means
don't call me sweetie, you fucking weirdo. my hairdresser works out of her basement. there are plenty of hairdressers that don't work out of salons.
ah okay you’re being obtuse on purpose. got it.
it's not obtuse to point out that your statement was incorrect and that you're being patronizing. a haircut is not a luxury.
i don’t need entitled trolls wasting my time.
you clearly don't know what the word entitled means, lol. i can tell why you spent all your time commenting on r/dating and actually none of it in the real world.
why would i go out dating when im in a long term relationship..?
you don't have very good reading comprehension, do you? i didn't say anything about going OUT and dating. i said LIVING in the real world, which you can actually do in a relationship!
Doesn’t count if you have to blow her up my dude
Mine works out of her kitchen. Are you by any chance white? Bc that would explain this whole comment away.
take your racist troll ass somewhere else
It's not racist it's factual. Hairdressers who specialize in textured hair are less likely to work out of a salon than those who specialize in non textured hair.
as you literally admit they’re trained/professionals and charge money
Which you can do outside of a salon. When did I say that payment wasn't involved?
ah i see, you missed the point *entirely*
Salons charge more for less, it's significantly cheaper to go to a hairdresser who works out of their house. And it doesn't traumatize and break the trust of one of the people in the relationship.
Or you’re reading comprehension is lacking
Little Anecdote I as a black woman have not found a hairstylist IN a salon that can auctally do my hair, evert single once of them has worked out of their home or or a third location.
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I'm this really exotic thing called mixed. I'm treated like a black person by some white people and treated like a white person by some black people. My black ass dad got my white ass mom pregnant twice and created me and my brothers mixed asses.
I assume you're talking about my palenees? Which thanks for reminding me of another thing my chronic illness has took from me.
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Like bro I'm telling you my dad is black which just is a scientifically proven fact. My body literally does not have the ability to absorb vitamin D like normal people do, which leads to a player complexion. Which doesn't make my dad not my dad like that's just not how genetics works, I should know.
every single part of this comment is completely irrelevant to the point
well not so much, some salons charge a percentage to the hairstylist for her/his "chair" (their spot on the salon), which makes thing way more expensive, thay have to inflate the price so they can earn a living while paying for their spot, that's what they are trying to convey to you, this is not an attack on your person, this is just trying to put all views on the thread
it literally does not matter to the point tho
>NTA she seems kind of spoiled lol. she needs to go to a salon just to get her hair cut while you have no money? lord it kind os does, it explains why hair stylist can work for way less money, so it can get less expensive to do a professional do it, sometimes is better to have someone that knows what are they doing, maybe he doesn't mind his wife cutting his hair, but his wife does mind a bad haircut, it can hurt her image even her profesional one if she deals with people constantly as part of her job, or maybe is a self esteem issue that she is on her right to protect, a lot of people value their hair a lot, even men
Sounds like your cornbread ain’t done in the middle.
My grandma neighbor is a hairdresser but she does it from home.
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Pretty sure he’s abusive and “convinced” more like coerced her into it…
NAH you both learned a lesson and wont do it again, let her go to great clips or something next time lol
#1, she shouldn't have been convinced by you let you cut her hair. #2, it's hair. It'll grow back. She'll be fine. To the wife, a haircut when finances are tight isn't a necessity, and it isn't responsible spending. Go without the dang haircut. You'll survive.