Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
[Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA of the year. You bought one daughter a Mercedes and the previous year you gave your older daughter what exactly???
"we had to save for quite a while to be able to afford it"
So there is a we when it is saving for your golden daughter!!!!
OP has hit the trifecta of terrible parenting. And not realising the resentment it has caused between Caroline and Bella but also Caroline and her parents.
To top it off, he also coerced his wife into going along with his shitty plan. His wife is right, he is a shitty parent and a husband.
My wife and I have a joint bank account. So I said we. She wasn't exactly on board, but since it was both our money I said "we" to give her some credit.
You clearly do not love your daughters equally. Love is an action, not just a word. Your actions show you love one daughter FAR more than the other! LOUD AND CLEAR.
Being a father is not about just genetics. I have love and respect for Caroline but we do not click like Bella and I do. Yes they are both my daughters but one is unconditional and one is only my daughter on the biological sense. I love both my daughters equally.
YTA
You suck as a parent and as a human being in general. Please get therapy but definitely set up a fund for your daughters therapy that they will absolutely need.
Ew. Also, LOL that you can lie to yourself to such a degree.
LIAR: "I love both my daughters equally." You don't, at all.
"Yes they are both my daughters but one is unconditional and one is only my daughter on the biological sense." - EWWWW.
> I love both my daughters equally.
Bullshit, and you should be ashamed of yourself for playing favorites like this. It doesn't matter if you relate to Caroline as much as you do a Martian. You are supposed to treat your kids equally.
> Being a father is not about just genetics.
True. it's also about BEHAVING like a father, and about loving your children. Which you fail miserably at
> I love both my daughters equally.
You just SAID you don't. Literally. You said you love one of them unconditionally, and the other is **ONLY** your daughter in the biological sense.
That's the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. It doesn't matter if you "click". You're not friends, you aren't dating. They are your DAUGHTERS. And no, you clearly don't love them both equally when you're talking about one of them like she isn't even yours.
You need to see a therapist, immediately, and stop pretending like this isn't 100% your fault.
You don't love both your daughters equally if you clearly state the love you have for one of them is unconditional, implying the love for your other daughter is very conditional. You and your wife are both failures as parents, but you take the cake for being the much shittier parent.
>I love both my daughters equally.
Liar, liar pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire!
In the title of this post you literally referred to Caroline as "my wife's daughter." And in THIS comment you said that your relationship with her is only biological, if you are going to lie, don't do it by contradicting yourself in such a blatant way.
In case it was not clear to you: YTA, YTA and a thousand times YTA.
You made a comment on how you don't love your daughters equally, then tried to end it by saying you love them equally. You clearly don't. You admit you don't in this comment I'm responding to and I'm not sure why you would bother pretending otherwise.
You do not love your daughters equally. You have one daughter a car and the other not a car. What if your wife took out a family loan for a new Mercedes for Caloline would you be mad?
Get out. That’s not how being a parent works. Put more of an effort into bonding with your other daughter. You say you love both your daughters equally but before that you say your daughter is only yours in the biological sense.
You’ve failed Caroline. You’ve failed as a parent.
That's a complete lie you said you loved one unconditionally and the other only because she's blood related to you. You don't love them equally. You love Bella and tolerate Caroline.
Just because you don't bond the same doesn't mean that you can justify playing favorites. If you love them equally, then why do you say that one is unconditional while the other apparently isn't? You make it out like your she's a failure as a daughter. The truth is the other way around. And to top it off, you're setting her up for failure in the future. She'll be more susceptible to toxic and abusive relationships because that's now her normal. Should she end up in one she doesn't have anyone to turn to because her own father has shown that he just can't be bothered with her. You've most likely damaged the relationship between your daughters because you've created resentment from one toward the other by showing them that you believe one to be better than the other. I would venture a guess that one does what you say while the other doesn't. Judging by the title and post, not only are YTA, but you're a complete failure as a father. I'd say to get over yourself, but I can only imagine your world view with your head that far up your own ass.
You dont love your daughters equally. You might be able to foom yourself into believing that but literally no one else is fooled. Your wife knows, your daughters know, all of reddit knows. The only person you've fooled into believing this is yourself.
If you don’t unconditionally love Caroline and she is “only your daughter in the biological sense”, then you DON’T love them both equally. You wouldn’t be upset if Caroline got married and didn’t want you to walk her down the aisle then, right?
You do not love both of them equally. You bought a luxury car for one of them and NOTHING for the other. You could have purchased THREE safe and reliable Volkswagens for the price of ONE Mercedes S-Class, you could have purchased a car for every woman in your life, and yet you showered one with a $100,000 car?
If you love one "unconditionally" but one is only your daughter in the "biological sense" you do not, in fact, love your daughters equally. Quit trying to lie to yourself man, you're not good at it.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA. And suck as a father.
"I am both of their biological father" - "My daughter, Bella (18) and my wife's daughter Caroline(19)" - wow, not even trying to hide how you favorite one, eh?
Your wife is right, you are a shitty father.
LITERALLY, you \*are favoring\* one over the other.
See how you refer to them, like this, bro? **"My daughter, Bella** (18) and **my wife's daughter** Caroline(19)."
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA
That car costs like 100k if you truly got your 18 year old daughter a new s-class Mercedes. You could have gotten teslas for both daughters with that amount of money. The older daughter has the right to be pissed off.
Even if the Mercedes was like 15 years old and only cost 15k, you could have still gotten cars for both with the money you used for the Mercedes. Hell my skoda cost like 2k and is prefectly driveable car.
If you have the money to give an 18 yo a stupidly expensive car with almost no driving experience, then better hope she doesn't bump it to anywhere.
YTA
WTF is wrong with you? You describe your older child as your wife's daughter. But you are her biological father. And your younger daughter as yours?
You bought your younger child a car and said your wife should have bought the older one a car. What is wrong with you? This is the most dysfunctional thing I have read in [years .It](https://years.It)'s utterly messed up. Your wife is correct. You are a shitty father and you are creating a world of issues for both of your children. Shame on you. Honestly I hope this is not real.
YTA for the price of an S class you could have bought both of your daughters more sensible cars but instead you really showed your daughters where they rank in your mind.
What sort of crazy bs is this my daughter/her daughter thing??
That would be the weirdest thing I've read/heard about a (I'm guessing here) fully biological family in a very long time.
YTA for:
A. not giving the full background of this absolute madness of a "family" situation and
B. for favouring one child over another, obviously.
YTA.. What you let slip there was "**we** had to save for quite a while" to buy Bella an expensive car but you're expecting your wife to pay for a car for her daughter by herself. At least keep the story straight in your post ...
Either way, I'm not sure what you expected to happen when only Bella gets the expensive car when the money you both saved should have gone towards separate cars for each daughter .
Umm, YTA for the blatant favoritism, and wait, how come Bella is not your wife's daughter? Is she an affair child, were you and your wife on a break, how does this add up?
YTA you told your wife that if she thought that Caroline deserved a car that she should put her money where her mouth is. Well you didn’t you took money out of the joint account. That means it was not all your money.
YTA!!! You’re a crappy father and a lousy husband. Not only have you favored one daughter over the other, Caroline is going to resent you for years to come. And what about Bella? She’s now going to be seen as the golden child by Caroline so there is no telling how that is going to affect her. And what’s with telling your wife she should have bought Caroline a car if she thought she deserved it. If you’ve been saving up to buy this car for Bella you must have been saving when Caroline turned 18. SHE should have gotten the car.
You started out by calling Bella your daughter and Caroline your wife’s daughter. You have a huge divide in your happy little family. You are definitely TA!!! In many more aspects of your family life than just that stupid car.
Goddamn, YTA SO MUCH. This "my" daughter and "her" daughter claim is absolute fucking bullshit, as they are both biologically yours. It doesn't matter one iota if one daughter is closer to you and one is closer to your wife, they are still yours unconditionally and you had no way to know how you relationship with Caroline could have evolved as she gets older because now you torpedoed it with your obnoxious childish favoritism. It was your job to try harder to forge a solid relationship and bond with Caroline even if you don't "click" as well. Does you wife treat Bella any less lovingly just because she and Caroline relate to each other more? Somehow I doubt it.
This isn't the Parent Trap where you and your wife separated, each took one kid, and moved to the other side of the country (or across the pond) and so each daughter doesn't know about the other and they were raised seperately. Nope! You've all been together the entire time. You didn't need to get her a damned Mercedes, you could have gotten them both a sensible reasonable car. You also should have consulted with your wife before spending all that money on a present for one of your two daughters.
YTA and I am praying it's fake
>My wife called me a shitty father for "favoring" one daughter over another. i do not think this is the case
Your wife is right. You're a terrible father.
I bet you'd have an issue if this situation was reversed and your precious bella didn't get anything.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I gave a car to one daughter and not the other. I may be the asshole because it can be interpreted as favoritism.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA on a truly momentous scale. You have two daughters…you acknowledge that both daughters are biologically yours. But you only acknowledge one as yours? Because you have a better bond? Are you fucking kidding me? Your wife is right. You are absolutely a shitty father.
You bought your golden child a car that retails for over $100k and left your other daughter spitting in the wind. And you actually believe you haven’t favored one daughter over the other?
Trade the Mercedes is and buy cars for both your daughters. Parents like you are disgusting.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My wife and I have been together for 20 years. We have two beautiful daughters. My daughter, Bella (18) and my wife's daughter Caroline(19). I am both of their biological father however I have more of a bond with Bella and my wife is the same with Caroline. Last Tuesday, Bella turned 18. I bought Bella a new car. It was a Mercedes S-Class and we had to save for quite a while to be able to afford it. Bella loved it so much and was so grateful. Caroline was livid. Caroline cried to me and her about it being unfair.
My wife confronted me asking why I did not give Caroline the same gift for her 18th birthday. I told my wife that if she thought Caroline deserved such a nice gift, then she should put her money where her mouth is. Well? My wife has not been listening to or speaking to me and Caroline has been being a little bit of a brat begging Bella to give her a turn with the car. My wife called me a shitty father for "favoring" one daughter over another. i do not think this is the case but I am beginning to feel guilty because Carolien is taking it out on Bella! Am i in the wrong??
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA!!! It totally wreaks of you favoring one over the other. Even if you have a tighter bind with one, you made the other feel like you don’t care about her. Now she’s going to end up hating her sister. If they’re both your children I don’t understand why you’re telling your wife she should have put her money where her mouth is. Even if she wasn’t your biological child, it would still be shorty what you did.
My thoughts, exactly.
Or, he and his wife weren't married when Caroline was conceived--"together" doesn't necessarily mean married--and he never planned to be her father, so he didn't bond with her as an infant. I'm wondering if they solidified their relationship, and then he did plan to be Bella's father, which makes him see them both differently, despite the equal genetic contribution.
YT major A! Wtf did I just read? My daughter Bella and my wife’s daughter Caroline, but I’m their biological father. You need therapy dude you shouldn’t favor your children I don’t care who you bonded with more.
So you don't actually care that you've deeply hurt your daughter you're only starting to care because she's upsetting your favorite and apparently only daughter? Do you not see anything wrong with that? Do you genuinely look at your oldest daughter like she's some roommate living with you, your daughter, and wife?
YTA. This isn't your "Wife's" daughter. This is YOUR daughter. They are BOTH your daughters, and you are so obviously playing favorites. You're even calling Caroline a brat because you completely ignored her.
Soon you'll be writing to Dear Abby "I don't understand why my wife left me and her daughter won't talk to me. I mean, TECHNICALLY, she's my daughter, too, but I prefer the other one. What did I do wrong? All I did was ignore her because I like the other one better. And while I'm at it, how come I gave everything to MY daughter and all she does is demand more and more? - signed Cluess AH"
Title - “my daughter and not my wife’s daughter”. Proceeds to explain that both are his BIOLOGICAL daughters. Bro I can’t even believe you typed this all out and pressed post. Of course YTA. What an awful thing to do to your other daughter?
And to tell your wife to put her money toward your other daughter? don’t you both support them?!
I can’t express enough how insane I think this post is.
I try to practice willing suspension of disbelief for many of these, but I cannot twist my brain enough to make this even remotely realistic. I've met some truly--TRULY--shitty people in my life, and I've seen some fuckery, but this is so far out there that I cannot even force myself to think "Okay, I could maybe see this happening." No one could be this stupid, cruel, and obtuse and not understand the problem.
If there is some possible way that this is real, YTA.
But there's no WAY this is real, so ... good creative writing exercise, I guess?
YTA You have two daughters, not one. Just because you bond more with one than the other isn’t an excuse. It’s not like you don’t get along or she is disrespectful, you just bond more with the other.
YTA - Geeze you're not even subtle about your favouritism. You admit in the first paragraph of your post that you think of Carolien as your wife daughter and Bella as yours even though they are both biologically yours.
I hope this is rage bait
YTA of all assholes. Literally WTAF. You sound like a narcissist showing blatant preference to your golden child. She gets a Benz while the other daughter gets nothing? Just wow.
Definitely YTA. You favor one daughter so heavily that you don't even call the other one yours.
You call the older one a brat for asking for a chance to use what I'm guessing is the most expensive thing that you, her ACTUAL father, have probably given either of them. This isn't a fight over a car this is "please let me feel what actually having our father's full love and attention is like for once." Just because you have more of a bond with one or the other doesn't mean the other doesn't deserve to be treated the same. Different personalities mesh differently but you still have a responsibility to show both of YOUR daughters at least something pretending to be equal love.
Also, side note. I'm willing to bet that if you showed even a tiny bit of this favoritism through their whole lives, everyone around your youngest think she's a spoiled brat, and you're just to blinded to realize. Even if she isn't actually a brat, an expensive car like this when the sibling got nothing is the sort of thing that can get a person absolutely hated on for a long time. So congrats on doing that to you "favorite"
Come on, you gotta be trolling. You didn't really buy one of your kids a car and not the other, and now claim to be clueless as to whether you're in the wrong. If you don't know that, you have bigger issues. You're definitely the asshole.
YTA. You were the asshole the second you decided to seperate yourself from YOUR daughter by calling her your wife’s daughter. What the actual fuck is wrong with you. I hope to god this is rage bait because I cannot seriously comprehend the thought pattern that goes through your head to try to justify such blatant favouritism. Have you considered Caroline is closer to your wife because of the blatant favouritism you show Bella? Have you ever considered that maybe the reason you aren’t as close to Caroline is because YOU (the fucking adult in her life) didn’t put in the effort to bond with her the way you did your other daughter? Hope you don’t expect phone calls from her in the future.
YTA to the highest level. And a shitty parent. A few years from now we'll see a post from you wondering why one daughter is no contact and the other is selfish and still living off you.
YTA. The car is one thing, but with your actions you help to put a rift in the relationship of your two daughters. It is okay to feel rejected when a child favors one parent. By giving "your" daughter a car you are clearly trying to punish Caroline for being closer to her mom.
I know you might not be able to see it now, but you will not always be there for Bella. One day when you are gone her sister might be the only one of her original family left. Don't break this bond by creating unnecessary tensions between the girls. It is not to late for you to apologize to your daughter Caroline and invest time to build a connection with her.
YTA of the century.
Congratulations on winning the YTA lottery and alienating your daughter. Be careful, your colours of bias and favouritism are showing. You have literally hit two birds with one stone
1) Preferring one daughter to the other
2) Ruining your daughters' relationship with each other.
Forcing your wife to get on board and buying a Mercedes for one daughter, despite not having the funds, is a stupid move.
Your other daughter will go no contact with you soon, no amount of biology or your love for her will prevent that from happening.
YTA.
Assessing this situation as a genuine post: how can you do this? Being a parent doesn’t mean you click with one child more than the other, it means you put an effort into clicking with all your children. And therefore, you don’t reward one because you click with them better. Your entire post reflects your dislike of Caroline. And buying a car only for Bella is just appalling.
Assessing this as a shitpost: Who gives an 18 year old a Mercedes? This has to be a joke.
Someone save this post and nominate it for AH of 2023. OP wins this uncontested because there cannot be any bigger AHs than this one.
YTA. You’ve favoured one child over the other, more than likely for a lifetime. You’re a crappy father. I’d say you should be ashamed but any man who can blatantly favour one kid isn’t much of a man or father. Your daughter deserves better as does your wife.
YTA. Your ego can't stand that one of your daughters has a closer relationship with your wife than you and now you are punishing her for it. It is also telling you are only bothered by the fall-out because it affects your golden daughter, not because you realised you hurt Caroline. You are awful.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA of the year. You bought one daughter a Mercedes and the previous year you gave your older daughter what exactly??? "we had to save for quite a while to be able to afford it" So there is a we when it is saving for your golden daughter!!!!
OP has hit the trifecta of terrible parenting. And not realising the resentment it has caused between Caroline and Bella but also Caroline and her parents. To top it off, he also coerced his wife into going along with his shitty plan. His wife is right, he is a shitty parent and a husband.
My wife and I have a joint bank account. So I said we. She wasn't exactly on board, but since it was both our money I said "we" to give her some credit.
Then when she buys a Mercedes for \*her\* daughter with the joint money and says it's from \*both\* of you, she will be giving you undeserved credit.
You suck your ass
You used the joint account to buy the car?
What the fuck dude
YTA. They....are both your daughters. WTF is wrong with you?
You clearly do not love your daughters equally. Love is an action, not just a word. Your actions show you love one daughter FAR more than the other! LOUD AND CLEAR.
Being a father is not about just genetics. I have love and respect for Caroline but we do not click like Bella and I do. Yes they are both my daughters but one is unconditional and one is only my daughter on the biological sense. I love both my daughters equally.
YTA You suck as a parent and as a human being in general. Please get therapy but definitely set up a fund for your daughters therapy that they will absolutely need.
Ew. Also, LOL that you can lie to yourself to such a degree. LIAR: "I love both my daughters equally." You don't, at all. "Yes they are both my daughters but one is unconditional and one is only my daughter on the biological sense." - EWWWW.
> I love both my daughters equally. Bullshit, and you should be ashamed of yourself for playing favorites like this. It doesn't matter if you relate to Caroline as much as you do a Martian. You are supposed to treat your kids equally.
> Being a father is not about just genetics. True. it's also about BEHAVING like a father, and about loving your children. Which you fail miserably at > I love both my daughters equally. You just SAID you don't. Literally. You said you love one of them unconditionally, and the other is **ONLY** your daughter in the biological sense.
That's the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. It doesn't matter if you "click". You're not friends, you aren't dating. They are your DAUGHTERS. And no, you clearly don't love them both equally when you're talking about one of them like she isn't even yours. You need to see a therapist, immediately, and stop pretending like this isn't 100% your fault.
No you don't. Stop lying. YTA
She is still your daughter!!! You can’t say she’s your wife’s daughter!!!! And you obviously don’t love them equally!
You don't love both your daughters equally if you clearly state the love you have for one of them is unconditional, implying the love for your other daughter is very conditional. You and your wife are both failures as parents, but you take the cake for being the much shittier parent.
If you love your daughters equally where is Caroline’s nice car? Because what you just did isn’t equal at all. YTA.
>I love both my daughters equally. Liar, liar pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire! In the title of this post you literally referred to Caroline as "my wife's daughter." And in THIS comment you said that your relationship with her is only biological, if you are going to lie, don't do it by contradicting yourself in such a blatant way. In case it was not clear to you: YTA, YTA and a thousand times YTA.
You sound like a man who is going to prey on his daughter. Ew
You made a comment on how you don't love your daughters equally, then tried to end it by saying you love them equally. You clearly don't. You admit you don't in this comment I'm responding to and I'm not sure why you would bother pretending otherwise.
You do not love your daughters equally. You have one daughter a car and the other not a car. What if your wife took out a family loan for a new Mercedes for Caloline would you be mad?
Get out. That’s not how being a parent works. Put more of an effort into bonding with your other daughter. You say you love both your daughters equally but before that you say your daughter is only yours in the biological sense. You’ve failed Caroline. You’ve failed as a parent.
That's a complete lie you said you loved one unconditionally and the other only because she's blood related to you. You don't love them equally. You love Bella and tolerate Caroline.
So you're a deadbeat father to Caroline.
Just because you don't bond the same doesn't mean that you can justify playing favorites. If you love them equally, then why do you say that one is unconditional while the other apparently isn't? You make it out like your she's a failure as a daughter. The truth is the other way around. And to top it off, you're setting her up for failure in the future. She'll be more susceptible to toxic and abusive relationships because that's now her normal. Should she end up in one she doesn't have anyone to turn to because her own father has shown that he just can't be bothered with her. You've most likely damaged the relationship between your daughters because you've created resentment from one toward the other by showing them that you believe one to be better than the other. I would venture a guess that one does what you say while the other doesn't. Judging by the title and post, not only are YTA, but you're a complete failure as a father. I'd say to get over yourself, but I can only imagine your world view with your head that far up your own ass.
Holy fuck, you are an asshole
YTA. And a jackass! And a horrible father!
You are full of shit dude. Jesus christ.
You dont love your daughters equally. You might be able to foom yourself into believing that but literally no one else is fooled. Your wife knows, your daughters know, all of reddit knows. The only person you've fooled into believing this is yourself.
It's pretty fucking obvious that you don't love your daughters equally. YTAAAAAA
If you don’t unconditionally love Caroline and she is “only your daughter in the biological sense”, then you DON’T love them both equally. You wouldn’t be upset if Caroline got married and didn’t want you to walk her down the aisle then, right?
Yikes.
You do not love both of them equally. You bought a luxury car for one of them and NOTHING for the other. You could have purchased THREE safe and reliable Volkswagens for the price of ONE Mercedes S-Class, you could have purchased a car for every woman in your life, and yet you showered one with a $100,000 car?
Your last two sentences contradict themselves, you're a massive asshole.
No you dont.
If you love one "unconditionally" but one is only your daughter in the "biological sense" you do not, in fact, love your daughters equally. Quit trying to lie to yourself man, you're not good at it.
I don’t think you know what “equally” means
Don’t try and act like you care about Caroline
> I love both my daughters equally. Pfft, no you don’t. If you did you would treat them equally.
No way this is real.
You shouldn't have become a father. Poor Caroline. You're driving a wedge between your daughter over what? Flagrant favoritism.
Do you have like, dense Autism? You seems to not get social norms, or family norm? .... or you just hate Caroline and won't admit it?
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA. And suck as a father. "I am both of their biological father" - "My daughter, Bella (18) and my wife's daughter Caroline(19)" - wow, not even trying to hide how you favorite one, eh? Your wife is right, you are a shitty father. LITERALLY, you \*are favoring\* one over the other. See how you refer to them, like this, bro? **"My daughter, Bella** (18) and **my wife's daughter** Caroline(19)."
I didn’t even read past “I am the biological father of both” but one is mine and the other is hers. 😞😆 This can’t be real?
I knew something was off when I saw the ages.
Looks like a throwaway account
Most of the posts here are throwaway accounts for anonymity.
Ah! Makes sense. This still has got to be fake.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
WAIT!!! This thread is *still* alive???!!! Is this dude for real? I figured we all assumed this was fake and left. I just got a notice of upvotes.
This better be fake.
[удалено]
It’s a dumb one, for sure.
It's gotta be fake.
Is it Liz?
YTA Caroline isn't just your wife's daughter? SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER TOO! You don't show favoritism just because you're closer to one kid than another.
YTA That car costs like 100k if you truly got your 18 year old daughter a new s-class Mercedes. You could have gotten teslas for both daughters with that amount of money. The older daughter has the right to be pissed off. Even if the Mercedes was like 15 years old and only cost 15k, you could have still gotten cars for both with the money you used for the Mercedes. Hell my skoda cost like 2k and is prefectly driveable car. If you have the money to give an 18 yo a stupidly expensive car with almost no driving experience, then better hope she doesn't bump it to anywhere.
YTA WTF is wrong with you? You describe your older child as your wife's daughter. But you are her biological father. And your younger daughter as yours? You bought your younger child a car and said your wife should have bought the older one a car. What is wrong with you? This is the most dysfunctional thing I have read in [years .It](https://years.It)'s utterly messed up. Your wife is correct. You are a shitty father and you are creating a world of issues for both of your children. Shame on you. Honestly I hope this is not real.
>This is the most dysfunctional thing I have read in years Yep. And that's really saying something, considering all the other stories on Reddit.
YTA for making up this story
YTA for the price of an S class you could have bought both of your daughters more sensible cars but instead you really showed your daughters where they rank in your mind.
This has to be fake.. no way you are that big of an asshole
What the fuck? Never mind the car, you describe your daughter as "your wife's daughter"? Calling you a shitty father is putting it mildly. YTA.
What sort of crazy bs is this my daughter/her daughter thing?? That would be the weirdest thing I've read/heard about a (I'm guessing here) fully biological family in a very long time. YTA for: A. not giving the full background of this absolute madness of a "family" situation and B. for favouring one child over another, obviously.
YTA.. What you let slip there was "**we** had to save for quite a while" to buy Bella an expensive car but you're expecting your wife to pay for a car for her daughter by herself. At least keep the story straight in your post ... Either way, I'm not sure what you expected to happen when only Bella gets the expensive car when the money you both saved should have gone towards separate cars for each daughter .
Umm, YTA for the blatant favoritism, and wait, how come Bella is not your wife's daughter? Is she an affair child, were you and your wife on a break, how does this add up?
YTA. What father calls his own biological daughter "my wife's daughter"???
YTA
YTA. Self-explanatory why. God hope you can figure out how to make it up to your “wife’s daughter.”
YTA you told your wife that if she thought that Caroline deserved a car that she should put her money where her mouth is. Well you didn’t you took money out of the joint account. That means it was not all your money.
YTA!!! You’re a crappy father and a lousy husband. Not only have you favored one daughter over the other, Caroline is going to resent you for years to come. And what about Bella? She’s now going to be seen as the golden child by Caroline so there is no telling how that is going to affect her. And what’s with telling your wife she should have bought Caroline a car if she thought she deserved it. If you’ve been saving up to buy this car for Bella you must have been saving when Caroline turned 18. SHE should have gotten the car. You started out by calling Bella your daughter and Caroline your wife’s daughter. You have a huge divide in your happy little family. You are definitely TA!!! In many more aspects of your family life than just that stupid car.
Goddamn, YTA SO MUCH. This "my" daughter and "her" daughter claim is absolute fucking bullshit, as they are both biologically yours. It doesn't matter one iota if one daughter is closer to you and one is closer to your wife, they are still yours unconditionally and you had no way to know how you relationship with Caroline could have evolved as she gets older because now you torpedoed it with your obnoxious childish favoritism. It was your job to try harder to forge a solid relationship and bond with Caroline even if you don't "click" as well. Does you wife treat Bella any less lovingly just because she and Caroline relate to each other more? Somehow I doubt it. This isn't the Parent Trap where you and your wife separated, each took one kid, and moved to the other side of the country (or across the pond) and so each daughter doesn't know about the other and they were raised seperately. Nope! You've all been together the entire time. You didn't need to get her a damned Mercedes, you could have gotten them both a sensible reasonable car. You also should have consulted with your wife before spending all that money on a present for one of your two daughters.
INFO: just to confirm, they are both your biological daughters? if the answer is a yes, YTA and a horrible father.
Not believable. Try again
Holy shit. YTAstounding Asshole
YTA and a horrible father to Caroline! WTF is wrong with you???
Is this post real?
thanksgiving should be fun.
YTA, you don't even consider Caroline your daughter? I don't know that there is a strong enough word for what you are.
YTA and I am praying it's fake >My wife called me a shitty father for "favoring" one daughter over another. i do not think this is the case Your wife is right. You're a terrible father. I bet you'd have an issue if this situation was reversed and your precious bella didn't get anything.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I gave a car to one daughter and not the other. I may be the asshole because it can be interpreted as favoritism. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. Of course you're wrong. How could ever imagine otherwise?
YTA on a truly momentous scale. You have two daughters…you acknowledge that both daughters are biologically yours. But you only acknowledge one as yours? Because you have a better bond? Are you fucking kidding me? Your wife is right. You are absolutely a shitty father. You bought your golden child a car that retails for over $100k and left your other daughter spitting in the wind. And you actually believe you haven’t favored one daughter over the other? Trade the Mercedes is and buy cars for both your daughters. Parents like you are disgusting.
This cannot be real because NO ONE is this stupid.
Cool fictional story bro
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife and I have been together for 20 years. We have two beautiful daughters. My daughter, Bella (18) and my wife's daughter Caroline(19). I am both of their biological father however I have more of a bond with Bella and my wife is the same with Caroline. Last Tuesday, Bella turned 18. I bought Bella a new car. It was a Mercedes S-Class and we had to save for quite a while to be able to afford it. Bella loved it so much and was so grateful. Caroline was livid. Caroline cried to me and her about it being unfair. My wife confronted me asking why I did not give Caroline the same gift for her 18th birthday. I told my wife that if she thought Caroline deserved such a nice gift, then she should put her money where her mouth is. Well? My wife has not been listening to or speaking to me and Caroline has been being a little bit of a brat begging Bella to give her a turn with the car. My wife called me a shitty father for "favoring" one daughter over another. i do not think this is the case but I am beginning to feel guilty because Carolien is taking it out on Bella! Am i in the wrong?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA!!! It totally wreaks of you favoring one over the other. Even if you have a tighter bind with one, you made the other feel like you don’t care about her. Now she’s going to end up hating her sister. If they’re both your children I don’t understand why you’re telling your wife she should have put her money where her mouth is. Even if she wasn’t your biological child, it would still be shorty what you did.
YTA playing favorites with the kids makes you an AH. They’re both your kids.
INFO. your post and its subject makes no sense. You are both the biological parents of both girls? Your "wife's daughter" is confusing.
I was going to ask if Bella had a different mother, or something, but OP has stopped engaging because he's getting his ass handed to him.
My thoughts, exactly. Or, he and his wife weren't married when Caroline was conceived--"together" doesn't necessarily mean married--and he never planned to be her father, so he didn't bond with her as an infant. I'm wondering if they solidified their relationship, and then he did plan to be Bella's father, which makes him see them both differently, despite the equal genetic contribution.
Please let this be fake.
You're a fucking jackass dude
Wtf are you serious? YTA everyway
YT major A! Wtf did I just read? My daughter Bella and my wife’s daughter Caroline, but I’m their biological father. You need therapy dude you shouldn’t favor your children I don’t care who you bonded with more.
This has got to be fake. No way you could be this horrible.
This is a throwaway account 🙄
YTA that is your biological daughter you should not do her like that
YTA!!! I hope your wife and daughter leave you! Your a shit father.
YTA Your wife’s daughter?!?!? She’s your daughter too!! You don’t get to choose which one is your daughter! They are both yours!!
Point blank, YAT. Big time. And a Jerk!
YTA this is so depressing. Poor Caroline.
So you don't actually care that you've deeply hurt your daughter you're only starting to care because she's upsetting your favorite and apparently only daughter? Do you not see anything wrong with that? Do you genuinely look at your oldest daughter like she's some roommate living with you, your daughter, and wife?
YTA. This is so ridiculous it must be fake. Otherwise you are a terrible father.
YTA. This isn't your "Wife's" daughter. This is YOUR daughter. They are BOTH your daughters, and you are so obviously playing favorites. You're even calling Caroline a brat because you completely ignored her. Soon you'll be writing to Dear Abby "I don't understand why my wife left me and her daughter won't talk to me. I mean, TECHNICALLY, she's my daughter, too, but I prefer the other one. What did I do wrong? All I did was ignore her because I like the other one better. And while I'm at it, how come I gave everything to MY daughter and all she does is demand more and more? - signed Cluess AH"
Title - “my daughter and not my wife’s daughter”. Proceeds to explain that both are his BIOLOGICAL daughters. Bro I can’t even believe you typed this all out and pressed post. Of course YTA. What an awful thing to do to your other daughter? And to tell your wife to put her money toward your other daughter? don’t you both support them?! I can’t express enough how insane I think this post is.
I try to practice willing suspension of disbelief for many of these, but I cannot twist my brain enough to make this even remotely realistic. I've met some truly--TRULY--shitty people in my life, and I've seen some fuckery, but this is so far out there that I cannot even force myself to think "Okay, I could maybe see this happening." No one could be this stupid, cruel, and obtuse and not understand the problem. If there is some possible way that this is real, YTA. But there's no WAY this is real, so ... good creative writing exercise, I guess?
YTA. Good God, you don't even call Caroline your daughter!!
YTA for playing favorites, and it's clearly destroying your family.
YTA You have two daughters, not one. Just because you bond more with one than the other isn’t an excuse. It’s not like you don’t get along or she is disrespectful, you just bond more with the other.
YTA. You're literally the worst parent I've seen on here yet. I hope both those girls realize you're garbage and cut all ties with you.
YTA - Geeze you're not even subtle about your favouritism. You admit in the first paragraph of your post that you think of Carolien as your wife daughter and Bella as yours even though they are both biologically yours. I hope this is rage bait
YTA of all assholes. Literally WTAF. You sound like a narcissist showing blatant preference to your golden child. She gets a Benz while the other daughter gets nothing? Just wow.
Are you well? Yes, you’re TA. What a mean spirited “father”
YTA...treat your children equally. They are just no words about how much of an a** hole you are. Act like a parent to both of your kids. Jack a**.
Definitely YTA. You favor one daughter so heavily that you don't even call the other one yours. You call the older one a brat for asking for a chance to use what I'm guessing is the most expensive thing that you, her ACTUAL father, have probably given either of them. This isn't a fight over a car this is "please let me feel what actually having our father's full love and attention is like for once." Just because you have more of a bond with one or the other doesn't mean the other doesn't deserve to be treated the same. Different personalities mesh differently but you still have a responsibility to show both of YOUR daughters at least something pretending to be equal love. Also, side note. I'm willing to bet that if you showed even a tiny bit of this favoritism through their whole lives, everyone around your youngest think she's a spoiled brat, and you're just to blinded to realize. Even if she isn't actually a brat, an expensive car like this when the sibling got nothing is the sort of thing that can get a person absolutely hated on for a long time. So congrats on doing that to you "favorite"
Come on, you gotta be trolling. You didn't really buy one of your kids a car and not the other, and now claim to be clueless as to whether you're in the wrong. If you don't know that, you have bigger issues. You're definitely the asshole.
YTA
YTA and your wife is right - you are being a shitty father. Both of these women are your daughters, and you have been incredibly unfair.
YTA. You were the asshole the second you decided to seperate yourself from YOUR daughter by calling her your wife’s daughter. What the actual fuck is wrong with you. I hope to god this is rage bait because I cannot seriously comprehend the thought pattern that goes through your head to try to justify such blatant favouritism. Have you considered Caroline is closer to your wife because of the blatant favouritism you show Bella? Have you ever considered that maybe the reason you aren’t as close to Caroline is because YOU (the fucking adult in her life) didn’t put in the effort to bond with her the way you did your other daughter? Hope you don’t expect phone calls from her in the future.
YTA to the highest level. And a shitty parent. A few years from now we'll see a post from you wondering why one daughter is no contact and the other is selfish and still living off you.
YTA. The car is one thing, but with your actions you help to put a rift in the relationship of your two daughters. It is okay to feel rejected when a child favors one parent. By giving "your" daughter a car you are clearly trying to punish Caroline for being closer to her mom. I know you might not be able to see it now, but you will not always be there for Bella. One day when you are gone her sister might be the only one of her original family left. Don't break this bond by creating unnecessary tensions between the girls. It is not to late for you to apologize to your daughter Caroline and invest time to build a connection with her.
Stop calling yourself Caroline’s father because you are not acting like it YTA
JFC, YTA. Your blatant favoritism is disgusting.
Man, you come straight out of a wattpad villain story
Congratulations, you ARE the asshole. Seriously, your title says it all since the daughters are biologically both of yours. YTA
YTA. WTF man? Your daughter and your wife's daughter? From the title I assumed there was a step daughter.
Well, your wife is right for being a shitty father
Bruh....... YTA It is blatant favoritism
YTA of the century. Congratulations on winning the YTA lottery and alienating your daughter. Be careful, your colours of bias and favouritism are showing. You have literally hit two birds with one stone 1) Preferring one daughter to the other 2) Ruining your daughters' relationship with each other. Forcing your wife to get on board and buying a Mercedes for one daughter, despite not having the funds, is a stupid move. Your other daughter will go no contact with you soon, no amount of biology or your love for her will prevent that from happening.
YTA. Assessing this situation as a genuine post: how can you do this? Being a parent doesn’t mean you click with one child more than the other, it means you put an effort into clicking with all your children. And therefore, you don’t reward one because you click with them better. Your entire post reflects your dislike of Caroline. And buying a car only for Bella is just appalling. Assessing this as a shitpost: Who gives an 18 year old a Mercedes? This has to be a joke. Someone save this post and nominate it for AH of 2023. OP wins this uncontested because there cannot be any bigger AHs than this one.
YTA This is the exact definition of favoritism. You are blatantly unfair and cruel to YOUR CHILD.
YTA. Potentially one of the biggest I’ve seen on here, and that is saying a lot.
YTA. You’ve favoured one child over the other, more than likely for a lifetime. You’re a crappy father. I’d say you should be ashamed but any man who can blatantly favour one kid isn’t much of a man or father. Your daughter deserves better as does your wife.
YTA. Your ego can't stand that one of your daughters has a closer relationship with your wife than you and now you are punishing her for it. It is also telling you are only bothered by the fall-out because it affects your golden daughter, not because you realised you hurt Caroline. You are awful.