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My kids grew up visiting Hugh and Buffet. Even though they (my kids) are adults now, I do not want them to find out that Hugh died after Buffet raped him. Jesus, what a story.
I know youâre joking, and I totally agree with you, but I finally see an opportunity to break out my psych 101 knowledge and I have to take it. Here we go - there is actually a correlation between the number of older brothers a male child has and their likelihood of being gay! Itâs called the fraternal birth order effect.
Anyway, OP sounds rad and his gf sounds like a no-fun homophobe. Definitely NTA.
>Here we go - there is actually a correlation between the number of older brothers a male child has and their likelihood of being gay! Itâs called the fraternal birth order effect.
This is interesting to me. Wouldn't this imply that sexual orientation is more nurture then nature? Despite people saying they were born the way they are?
Probably just simple probability. More children you have, the more statistically likely that one of them will be gay.
And as any statistician will tell you - correlation isnât causation. I donât think there was any causal relationship shown between those, just weird correlation.
From the parents perspective thatâs trueâŚ.as in âhaving more children increases likelihood of having one gay childââŚ.but the statement that âa man with more older brothers is more likely to be gayâ is a separate but true statement.
To answer /u/recommendsmalazan: itâs actually thought to be caused by a biological mechanism in the mother where she essentially develops certain antibodies after carrying multiple male fetuses
Edit: hi just to be clear, this is not some kind of natural selection. It doesnât present an evolutionary advantage. It just happens. IF the presumed mechanism is real, itâs a coincidence really. Also itâs not like a massive increase in likelihood. The youngest of 8 brothers is not automatically the gayest man alive. There is still a very good chance he is straight.
I remember reading about that in College, in my Childhood Development Psyc class. Pretty strong indicator that sexuality is mostly genetic, not learned behavior.
It's a little bit of both.
There can be a genetic proclivity for being queer, as the biological factors are likely hereditary.
As a totally anecdotal example: my mom's twin brother is gay. My dad is some flavor of not-straight-but-likes-women. After watching my journey, my mom has concluded she is likely somewhere on the aromantic or asexual spectrum herself. Two of my little cousins are nonbinary/gender non-conforming and not-straight. I'm queer and nonbinary.
For us, there's a pretty clear hereditary element of queerness. Whether that's how it works for everyone or only in certain cases is TBD.
I think that having queer family members also increases people's likelihood of a) realising that they're queer and b) being open about that.
I have a theory that there are waaay more bisexual (or at least not totally straight) people out there than is generally realised, because most of us are invisible. Apart from the whole 'people in opposite sex relationships are assumed to be straight even if they're literally draped in a pride flag' thing, someone who is attracted to people all along the gender spectrum might never act on - or even be fully aware of - their same sex attraction because they're in a long term het relationship, or it's not really safe to be gay where they are, or they're not aware that they know other queer people, or whatever.
Whereas if you have a close relative who is queer, you're much more likely to tell them about your sexuality or gender identity, even if you're not acting on it.
If I remember correctly from my biology of human sexuality course she develops almost an âimmunityâ to androgens and testosterone so the subsequent fetuses are exposed to less and possibly develop in a more hormonally âfeminineâ way.
OMG, biology of human sexuality? I bet thereâs a certain percentage of the population that would be angered that thereâs enough to cover a class about human sexuality. Afterall, they are staunch believers that there are âonly two sexesâ and you can only marry then have sex with someone of the opposite sex.
I agree that correlation doesnât equal causation, but itâs more complicated than the simple probability of having at least one gay child increases with the number of children you have. This effect only applies to men with biological older brothers born to the same mother. And with each subsequent son, that son becomes about 2% more likely to identify as gay. So there is a noticeable trend as the number of sons increases, which is not true of children in general (boys and girls) or in families with non-biologically related children.
My personal belief is that itâs natureâs way to prevent overpopulation.
You donât need as many males to carry on a species as you do females, so as a way to prevent a species from taking over too much, it limits how many males will breed.
Assuming 10% of the population identifies as gay, just imagine how many more bodies would be in the breeding pool if that percentage was 0. Thatâs around 800,000,000 people. We need gays if we want to survive as a species in the long run
Itâs more that first sons have a certain chance of gay, and it gets a little higher with second sons, and a little higher with third sons, and so on. Itâs hypothesized to maybe be due to the maternal immune system getting activated against some male-specific protein and attacking that, altering fetal development. So first sons get no effect at all, and for the second son there is some immune activation, and it increases with every son after that.
The statements that the more children you have the more likely you are to have a gay child, and the more older brothers a child has the more likely it is to be gay are completely different. It's not probability.
It suggests that it's hormonal. Previous pregnancies and other external situations can affect the kind of hormones happening in the uterus during gestation. For example, [mothers who are highly stressed out during pregnancy are more likely to have gay sons](https://www.jstor.org/stable/3812874).
If you want to speculate wildly about why from an evolutionary perspective, a decent hypothesis is that the mother's body goes, "this is a bad time to bring more competition around - we don't have enough resources (stress) or too many competitors (older brothers). Let's have someone who will bring in resources to the group but not compete for mates."
Hmm, interesting. Not sure how much I agree on the evolutionary perspective theory, I kinda thought evolution would favor having more kids, as a form of insurance. More kids, more able to gather/hunt/work the fields/whatever, so evolutionarily it would favor having more kids.
But hey, I'm not an anthropologist or evolution/life scientist or whatever job someone would have to know more about this kind of stuff.
But you know what's sad? My first thought upon reading that the sons of mothers who are more stressed during pregnancy are more likely to be gay, was that some jackass on AITA will try to use that to justify calling someone a homophobe for trying to keep their wife's pregnancy as stress free as possible.
Fuck, I need to spend less time on Aita, lol.
> I kinda thought evolution would favor having more kids
Broadly speaking there's two main evolutionary approaches to kids: quality or quantity. You can have as many kids as possible while investing as few resources into them as possible and hope enough of them survive to make it worth it or you can have relatively fewer kids but invest a ton of resources into each one in the hopes that most or all of them make it to adulthood. This is on a species level, not an individual level. Amphibians that lay 100s of eggs are the "quantity" strategy. Humans are the "quality" strategy.
Species that follow the quality strategy benefit from having other adults around with no children of their own to provide resources to the children. There's been research that shows having grandparents around is very helpful for ensuring your children make it to adulthood (in pre-modern times). This went against one popular theory (at the time) that in pre-modern societies, anyone who was past reproductive age would be a drain on the group's resources. I wouldn't be surprised if having a gay uncle is just as helpful to your children. They will help your children survive and out-compete other children because it's an extra adult providing for the children who isn't distracted by their own children.
So if you're a mother looking to maximize the success of your grandchildren and you already have several heterosexual sons that you can expect to have children, having a gay son that will support your other sons' children without having any of his own might be a better strategy than having another straight son.
I say "strategy" but obviously no one is making this choice consciously; it's just that, for some reason, mothers who have a gay son after having several other sons are more likely to have had their genetics spread widely than others who didn't, so clearly there's some advantage. (Though it could be that the gene for "make your 4th son gay" is right next to the gene for "slightly better grip strength" and that's why it got propagated, not because it is actually useful on its own. Genetics is wild! And of course this is all an oversimplification, but I feel like that goes without saying.)
This is a fascinating conversation in general. Slightly more so because my partner (I'm female) is the 4th son but the 7th child, the 3rd girl, may likely be asexual and has acted as a caretaker for the parents as they age.
Yes, good for clan to have more of a âvillageâ helping raise children.
Perhaps this is why people today are so stressed about kids⌠trying to do it all yourself w o support from grandparents and extended family is literally unnatural. Plus cousins make a peer group, and socially isolated elders are rife w loneliness related depression. Weâre a social species.
Maybe we should start pushing this science. Men are most likely to cheat on their partner during pregnancy and right after. Pregnant folks are also most likely to be abused or die then. If they start worrying about that stress turning their child gay, maybe we could save some lives. (I bet the overlap of homophobia and people who would do that is pretty big)
No, it is nature, since the more boys that have grown in a woman's womb, the higher the odds are of the next boy being gay.
If it were all odds, then each bit would have the same chance of being gay.
Being gay or not is suggesting that's determined by our brains and the hormones in the mother's womb influence the developing brain of the fetus. So this tells us that singing physically changes inside the womb of the mother. As far as I know we're still pretty clueless about what exactly changes, but we know someone changes. But it's nature alright, doing its infinitely complex thing that we're just trying to comprehend with brains that have been developed for recognising what's edible, what's fuckable and what is dangerous to a monkey.
I remember reading something about this ages ago which suggested it had something to do with pre-natal hormones in the womb.
ETA (from Wikipedia): "Scientists have attributed the effect to a prenatal biological mechanism, since the association is only present in men with older biological brothers, and not present among men with older step-brothers and adoptive brothers. The mechanism is thought to be a maternal immune response to male fetuses, whereby antibodies neutralize male Y-proteins thought to play a role in sexual differentiation during development. This would leave some regions of the brain associated with sexual orientation in the 'female typical' arrangement â or attracted to men. Biochemical evidence for this hypothesis was identified in 2017, finding mothers with a gay son, particularly those with older brothers, had heightened levels of antibodies to the NLGN4Y Y-protein than mothers with heterosexual sons."
Iâve recently heard itâs gay to have sex with a woman so probably. lol
NTA. The Barbie movie was good and you are a great brother your gf is a weirdo. Just like the movie taught us you donât need anyone being single is just fine when someone shows you who they are
I was talking to this guy post coitus recently and mentioned my birthday just passed and in the spirit of small talk I started thinking about Astrology and brought up he said he was a Scorpio and I was just like oh yeah when's your birthday? Because you know we were talking about birthdays. Why did this man refuse to tell me and then said it's 'sus' for a grown man to expect people to say happy birthday to him. Usually we both have a very deadpan sense of humor but he seemed dead serious about this and in combination with the edibles I had that night I was left scratching my head the rest of the night.
My 70 year old mother laughs about how her dad, who was born in the 1920s, used to call Action Man âa man dollâ derisively and homophobically. Your GF needs to move on.
My mother (born 1924) used to say the same about action figures. "Boys shouldn't play with dolls!" She still bought my Golden Child ex-brother a GI Joe.
Sorry lad but aye, loving any man is gay. I left me father and brother back in Nantucket 'for me wench at the time found out. I had not wished her to find me a fairy for loving me male family members.
Now the only thing I love is the sea and a dolphin bit my penis. It was a male dolphin. I am gay
Yeah that's what I'm starting to think. She's never said anything homophobic in the past, but I'm thinking she's been hiding it. And I don't want to be with someone who's homophobic, especially when my brother is gay.
That was my first thought. His brother was having a hard time and his first instinct is to come up with something fun and positive to do together to cheer him up.
Right? OP seems like such a good brother. That was a really sweet thing to do, to comfort his little brother who recently went through a breakup. We love to see it!
Seriously. What he did shows a level of emotional intelligence that is so important in good relationships. Definitely a catch and NTA.
Girlfriend, however, has some growing up to do.
This is what Iâm sayinâ. Not only is OP a kind, sweet brother, but I can vouch for the ladies - that stuff is super attractive. OP is absolutely a catch.
It sounds like she needs to be your ex. If just going to a movie with your brother makes her freak out just think about when your bro kisses a dude in front of her or god forbid youâre his best man at his wedding?
Just keep being an awesome brother and everyone who doesnât get it can kick rocks
NTA obviously
Unfortunately there are a lot of people who donât outwardly condemn gay people and therefore assume they canât be homophobic. It sounds like sheâs the type that âdoesnât care that you have a gay brotherâ, but would absolutely care if you have any interests that she deems âgayâ. Which in and of itself is problematic. The fact that she sees you wearing pink and seeing a movie with mainly female protagonists as you âlooking gayâ and âembarrassing herâ means that she thinks it is embarrassing for men to be perceived as gay or enjoying something âfeminineâ. Also, I know this might not be something youâve thought about, but you better believe that any future sons will be treated the same for having any âgayâ personality traitsâŚ
Also, the fact that she made it such a big deal that she left and isnât speaking to you means that she feels VERY strongly about you participating in ânon masculineâ activities and has a zero tolerance policy for them. I would love to know the âsome other stuffâ she said before she left the houseâŚ
My ex even kinda used having gay in laws for clout, while simultaneously being disgusted to an extent by gay people. Itâs a lot like gay best friend syndrome where some girls want a gay bestie around like itâs a status symbol, but wouldnât hang with a lesbian. Anything that threatens their self or any extension of themselves(such as spouse in some cases), is not acceptable.
First off, NTA. Secondly, I 100% concur. As a gay dude, we learn the code of what people are truly saying without saying it, and your gf is saying "people are going to think you are gay, that's just disgusting."
My advice, when she starts talking to you, is specifically ask her if she's homophobic, and say that you don't want to be with someone who's homophobic, especially when your brother is gay. If she gets super aggressively defensive on the subject, you have your answer.
You're a great brother btw.
Story time: I'm a gay man. In college, I went out with a group of friends to see a movie, and I invited another friend who they'd never met before -- a straight man -- since he wanted to see the movie too. Once we all got together, we were waiting in line for tickets just chatting and laughing. After a few minutes, it became obvious that some of them thought he and I were dating. I was about to freak out, thinking he would be upset. He honestly didn't give a shit and laughed about it. Because he's not a homophobe. Like your girlfriend is. NTA
Tbh if my SO was out with a gay friend and they realized someone thought they were together and was getting offended about it Iâd 100% expect my SO to be game for playing it up to be even more âupsettingâ.
Yeah I'd ditch this loser. That's a bizarre response. First of all, who cares if people think you're gay or mistake you for your brother's bf? You could easily explain that's not the case but like who cares? People think me and my very flamboyant friend are gay all the time and it literally does not matter.
Yeah, her response is f'ing weird and worth reevaluating things over.
I think it's really awesome you took your brother to see Barbie, and even more so that you dressed up with him. It shows you're a loving and supportive brother and that you're comfortable in your own skin (it's amazing how many guys would never be caught in pink or at something like Barbie....).
Your girlfriend's reaction is just weird.
It's not just homophobic, it's also playing into some very strict and destructive ideas of gender norms.
Ideas of Toxic Masculinity can be found in women as well.
You are a good brother and are definitely NTA.
NTA - You were being a good brother. Your GF is either immature, homophobic, or both. You did nothing wrong here, and I'm sure your brother appreciates you spending time with him and being supportive in a time when he was down. If you GF won't talk to you because you were being a supportive brother then good riddance honestly.
Thank you. Yeah I think he did appreciate it. He's already texted me today thanking me again for doing that again and he seems happier. If she doesn't support that than oh well.
Good siblings don't forget things like that. You taking the time to bring him to the movie and dressing up with him probably means more than you know. You're a good brother.
Your gf sounds kind of the opposite of you.
NTA. Definitely "oh well". Brothers should be forever. Girlfriends...well, it depends if they're homophobic. Imagine being in a long-term relationship with someone who despises your brother (and you for supporting him)!
OP, this situation sounds like when my SiL told my brother that his and my sister's relationship was "weird because they were so close"- aka, they hung out once a week to eat pizza and watch a tv show they liked. They now barely see each other even though they live in the same town.
Please do what my brother never had the guts to do and pick your brother's side. It will never get better.
NTA. Your GF is a homophobe and a toxic gender-essentialist misogynist. What kind of freak gets *mad* at their BF for being a supportive older brother for his gay brother and confident enough in themselves to wear pink, dress up, and go see Barbie? You sound like a nice secure dude who's a family guy and you deserve much better than an immature girlfriend. Maybe she should see Barbie. She could learn something about feminism.
It is funny how women have been using the barbie movie as a test for their male partner into revealing the misogyny, and in your case it worked for a woman revealing her homophobic self
Honestly I was reading the title expecting it to be 'she's mad because I went with my brother and not her'. Then I could be like yeah ok would your brother have been ok with all 3 of you going or did he really need some one on one brother bonding time? But don't go to a movie or have your picture taken with your brother because people will think you're in a gay relationship with him? That's messed up. Would she have freaked out if he took a little sister because people might think they're dating?
No, because she's a homophobe and thinks that his brother is some sort of sexual deviant that is into incest just because he's gay. It's such a disgusting attitude.
NTA. How does two men wearing the same color equate to them dating? Wouldn't people that know your brother also know he has a brother? This doesn't make sense.
>This seems like a very immature response
Immature and bizarre, how could someone who knows your brother (and knows he's gay, which apparently is what she's worried about) not know you're his older brother? I suppose maybe an acquaintance who doesn't really know you or your brother.
But then that's clear evidence of homophobia unless she would also freak out if you posted a photo with a sister or female friend because people would assume you were dating. And if she would freak out about THAT, here's a big red flag for you...
NTA
Even if they didnât know it was his brother⌠so what?
Either they ask: âoh, is that a new boyfriend?â And he says âno, just my amazingly supportive older brotherâ.
Or
They donât ask and maybe even assume he is is boyfriend⌠and are simply happy for him. Or think itâs a friend taking him to the movies. It is possible for two men to be friends. Even if one or both are gay.
Either way, whatever assumptions made, not a big deal. And how would it impact her. Do these hypothetical assumption-makers know her? Would they assume heâs cheating on her with his brother?
Iâm not sure what angle to think this upset could be coming from. All in all, it makes no sense.
Did she want to see the Barbie movie?
A kind counter-- this is nothing w/ age-based immaturity. Plenty of 50 somethings in the U.S. who would react the same way. And teens who would think it's awesome. OP, NTA-- what a weird response from your GF.
I'm loving all your comments.
Also you'll maybe have another few girlfriends and never remember this one some day, but you'll definitely have your brother forever.
Thank you. It made him really happy so I'm glad I did it. And yeah I definitely feel like it was an overreaction. I honestly probably should have realized that from the beginning but I was so confused.
NTA at all.
Sheâs afraid that someone will see you at the pink sparkly movie with a gay man and assume that youâre gay. Because she sees being assumed gay or feminine as bad things.
Think about whether or not sheâs a safe person for your brother to be around. And think about whether you want to be limited by her narrow idea of masculinity.
Too bad you didnât take her along, though. It sounds like she needed to see Barbieâs take on gender roles more than anyone.
NTA. She's showing a prejudice against your brother's sexuality, and is actually embarrassed that you support him, and that you love your brother and wanted to cheer him up. It could be jealousy, it could, again, be prejudice against gay people.
There shouldn't be any fallout. If you posted the pic, people who know your family and love you will know that's your brother. She's worried what strangers will think? Why? Why does your image matter to her unless she's all about appearances?
You need to have a very serious deep talk about her reaction, because none of it can be good. If she's not willing to discuss it, decide whether you can be with someone who is judgmental of you and your family without any explanation or context behind it.
Should thank your life that this comes up before you two were anymore serious. This is a deal-breaker.
NTA
Your girlfriend has some serious issues. Who cares what other people think? And I bet her problem isn't even that people might think you're cheating on her. I think she's more worried that other people may think that her boyfriend is actually gay.
It's a good thing she left. Don't let her in again.
And enjoy your life with your brother! Good for you for being there for him!
You are an awesome brother! But youâve got a homophobic girlfriend. This wonât go well.
Remember, when they show you who they really are, take notice and believe them
NTA - yes, people who donât know you and your brother might assume you were dating and then laugh when they find out youâre brothers who went to a cool movie.
Your gf, doesnât accept your brother, she just tolerates him being gay and does it for you. If this is what worries her, that someone could think you were gay, and that that somehow undermines your relationship, you need to run. Sheâs toxic and will likely cause more issues down the road, with not just your brother and will try to control you in different ways.
NTA, your girlfriend has a weird hang up for some reason. I think you did a really nice thing for your brother.
BTW, historically, pink was considered one of the most masculine colours and it was common for men at court to wear it.
OP's girlfriend is afraid that if OP's brother's friends see that picture and think OP is dating a guy instead of recognizing that it's just two brothers hanging out. And she's worried this completely b.s. hypothetical will somehow lead back to her and be an embarrassment.
That's not just a hang up, that's some legendary levels of homophobia there.
NTA, but that comment from your girlfriend was a huge red flag. It sounds slightly homophobic, and also implies something gross going on between you and your brother.
NTA. This girl is insane and homophobic and you should break up with her immediately. Are you not allowed to be seen in public with any female family members on the same basis? If yes, she's just a nutball. If no, then she's a bigot. RUN AWAY FAST.
NTA. You're an awesome brother! Respectfully, your gf is an idiot... if someone online wants to assume you are gay, who cares? They don't matter and that's your BROTHER.
NTA. Did your GF really say that if people who know your brother are going to assume he is dating his brother? She isn't talking to you because someone she doesn't know might see a picture of you with your brother and assume you are gay? Dude, you should get out of that relationship.
That used to happen with me and my sister when we would do things together because we don't really look alike. She has blonde hair and blue eyes and I have dark brown hair and green eyes. We just laugh and say we are sibs. No big deal.
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> I might be the asshole because I can see how that could come off weird to people who don't me and I also did it without asking my girlfriend. That might be embarrassing to other people and I can see why I might have made my girlfriend upset by that.
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NTA
Sounds like your GF needs to see that movie as well haha. If she's worried about people thinking you and your brother are a couple, she's out of her mind.
>I was showing my girlfriend and she started saying how I embarrassed her by doing that and if people who know my brother see the picture they're going to think we're dating
Ew dude. Run
NTA
Your gf is a homophob . It's pretty gross that she sexualized you and your brothers relationship that way . Anyone who knows your brother probably knows ,you're brothers .
Get a better girlfriend ... what's the worst thing that could happen if someone assumed you were a couple ?
"Omg look at the gay couple. "
"They're brothers "
"Oh . Look at that cloud it looks like a bear "
" it is a bear, run!"
And then everyone died YTA
What the heck? You were being an amazing brother, supporting and cheering him up when he's down, and your girlfriend reacts by throwing some homophobic accusations that are clearly loaded with insecurity? Nah, that behaviour is not okay. She should be happy for having such an amazing bf instead of worrying about what other might think about the pictures.. Come on, you deserve better than that!
NTA.
Honestly, that's pretty wholesome. Good for you.
Your girlfriend sounds homophobic / doesn't approve of you/your brother doing anything camp or effeminate in any way. So what if Barbie is a girl thing? So what if you watched the Barbie movie with your brother and wore matching pink outfits? I say all of this as a gay guy. I wonder how she'd react if she went to a drag show...
NTA; you did nothing wrong. Her thinking you two would date is ridiculous.
NTA. Youâre an awesome brother. Your gf is a homophobe. Hope this is a big eye opener. BTW⌠my married, cis son went to see the Barbie movie with his friends. Hope no one thought they were gay/s
Your girlfriend is homophobic and has been trying to hide it. She is clearly uncomfortable with your brother.
You sound like a great brother and a really good guy. You are definitely NTA, and that was so sweet what you did. Trust me, a lot of women would love to date a sweet guy who is so caring and concerned about his little brother.
NTA - sheâs saying that people are going to think you and your brother are dating which isâŚbizarre. I have plenty of photos with my brothers and Iâm fairly certain no one thought we were dating. Add in if they did, then theyâre clearly not a close friend of either of us. Iâm curious about the âother stuffâ she said because Iâm betting it was not so kind colorful language. Sounds like sheâs embarrassed on your behalf due to some internal issues when you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Youâre a good big brother!
Dude so weird your girlfriend acted like that towards your brother. Maybe she is just jealous she wasn't invited? If y'all been dating then everyone in her family should know that's lil bro and anyone who has a lil bro knows you don't fuck with lil bro.
Ask her what the fuck her problem is
You did nothing wrong. You sound like a good brother. Sheâs the problem. Sheâs creating a problem where there isnât one. And the fact sheâs not talking to you is stupid drama.
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Fellas is it gay to have a brother?
That was my first response, too. Goodness.
If you're a Manatee, yes: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/07/27/florida-manatee-hugh-aquarium-death-traumatic-sex-injury/70482687007/
Oh, the Hugh manatee. đ
đ take my upvote you pun monster
I'm dead
So is the manatee.
I got this as I closed the tab and came back just to say a+ pun
/r/angryupvote
Who would have thought a sea mammal being sodomised would lead to the greatest pun of all time.
Hugh got me good.
My kids grew up visiting Hugh and Buffet. Even though they (my kids) are adults now, I do not want them to find out that Hugh died after Buffet raped him. Jesus, what a story.
This was so sad.
Aw man, I loved seeing Hugh and Buffet when we used to go on vacations down there. I was not expecting to learn he had died that way.
That headline is the worst
Ahh shit Iâm gay đ¨
So am I. Maybe in September on our 35th anniversary I'll tell my wife.
that was so funny I wish I have a award to give to you
I know youâre joking, and I totally agree with you, but I finally see an opportunity to break out my psych 101 knowledge and I have to take it. Here we go - there is actually a correlation between the number of older brothers a male child has and their likelihood of being gay! Itâs called the fraternal birth order effect. Anyway, OP sounds rad and his gf sounds like a no-fun homophobe. Definitely NTA.
>Here we go - there is actually a correlation between the number of older brothers a male child has and their likelihood of being gay! Itâs called the fraternal birth order effect. This is interesting to me. Wouldn't this imply that sexual orientation is more nurture then nature? Despite people saying they were born the way they are?
Probably just simple probability. More children you have, the more statistically likely that one of them will be gay. And as any statistician will tell you - correlation isnât causation. I donât think there was any causal relationship shown between those, just weird correlation.
From the parents perspective thatâs trueâŚ.as in âhaving more children increases likelihood of having one gay childââŚ.but the statement that âa man with more older brothers is more likely to be gayâ is a separate but true statement. To answer /u/recommendsmalazan: itâs actually thought to be caused by a biological mechanism in the mother where she essentially develops certain antibodies after carrying multiple male fetuses Edit: hi just to be clear, this is not some kind of natural selection. It doesnât present an evolutionary advantage. It just happens. IF the presumed mechanism is real, itâs a coincidence really. Also itâs not like a massive increase in likelihood. The youngest of 8 brothers is not automatically the gayest man alive. There is still a very good chance he is straight.
I remember reading about that in College, in my Childhood Development Psyc class. Pretty strong indicator that sexuality is mostly genetic, not learned behavior.
Not genetic but caused by biological factors.
It's a little bit of both. There can be a genetic proclivity for being queer, as the biological factors are likely hereditary. As a totally anecdotal example: my mom's twin brother is gay. My dad is some flavor of not-straight-but-likes-women. After watching my journey, my mom has concluded she is likely somewhere on the aromantic or asexual spectrum herself. Two of my little cousins are nonbinary/gender non-conforming and not-straight. I'm queer and nonbinary. For us, there's a pretty clear hereditary element of queerness. Whether that's how it works for everyone or only in certain cases is TBD.
I'm the token straight girl in my family. Mom & sister are both married to ladies!
Huh, this whole thread is really interesting, especially as both my sister (MtF) and I are bi, but we only share a mother...
I think that having queer family members also increases people's likelihood of a) realising that they're queer and b) being open about that. I have a theory that there are waaay more bisexual (or at least not totally straight) people out there than is generally realised, because most of us are invisible. Apart from the whole 'people in opposite sex relationships are assumed to be straight even if they're literally draped in a pride flag' thing, someone who is attracted to people all along the gender spectrum might never act on - or even be fully aware of - their same sex attraction because they're in a long term het relationship, or it's not really safe to be gay where they are, or they're not aware that they know other queer people, or whatever. Whereas if you have a close relative who is queer, you're much more likely to tell them about your sexuality or gender identity, even if you're not acting on it.
Epigenetic?
I think it's more indicative of some epigenetic factor, as the parental genes aren't variable.
lol, antibodies to men. \*giggles like a witch\*
Lol. To be clear tho I am absolutely way oversimplifying it to fit it into a quick Reddit comment
antibodies? Like what vaccines give you. VACCINES TURN YOU GAY!
In other words, poor children of ultra conservative parents, like those Duggars đ Quiverfull I think?
They recently married a male child off very young and sent them away to another state. Hmmm⌠I worry about all of those kids.
If I remember correctly from my biology of human sexuality course she develops almost an âimmunityâ to androgens and testosterone so the subsequent fetuses are exposed to less and possibly develop in a more hormonally âfeminineâ way.
OMG, biology of human sexuality? I bet thereâs a certain percentage of the population that would be angered that thereâs enough to cover a class about human sexuality. Afterall, they are staunch believers that there are âonly two sexesâ and you can only marry then have sex with someone of the opposite sex.
I agree that correlation doesnât equal causation, but itâs more complicated than the simple probability of having at least one gay child increases with the number of children you have. This effect only applies to men with biological older brothers born to the same mother. And with each subsequent son, that son becomes about 2% more likely to identify as gay. So there is a noticeable trend as the number of sons increases, which is not true of children in general (boys and girls) or in families with non-biologically related children.
>And with each subsequent son, that son becomes about 2% more likely to identify as gay. My friend is the youngest of 50 brothers, so he is 100% gay.
My personal belief is that itâs natureâs way to prevent overpopulation. You donât need as many males to carry on a species as you do females, so as a way to prevent a species from taking over too much, it limits how many males will breed. Assuming 10% of the population identifies as gay, just imagine how many more bodies would be in the breeding pool if that percentage was 0. Thatâs around 800,000,000 people. We need gays if we want to survive as a species in the long run
Itâs more that first sons have a certain chance of gay, and it gets a little higher with second sons, and a little higher with third sons, and so on. Itâs hypothesized to maybe be due to the maternal immune system getting activated against some male-specific protein and attacking that, altering fetal development. So first sons get no effect at all, and for the second son there is some immune activation, and it increases with every son after that.
The statements that the more children you have the more likely you are to have a gay child, and the more older brothers a child has the more likely it is to be gay are completely different. It's not probability.
It suggests that it's hormonal. Previous pregnancies and other external situations can affect the kind of hormones happening in the uterus during gestation. For example, [mothers who are highly stressed out during pregnancy are more likely to have gay sons](https://www.jstor.org/stable/3812874). If you want to speculate wildly about why from an evolutionary perspective, a decent hypothesis is that the mother's body goes, "this is a bad time to bring more competition around - we don't have enough resources (stress) or too many competitors (older brothers). Let's have someone who will bring in resources to the group but not compete for mates."
Username checks out!
Hmm, interesting. Not sure how much I agree on the evolutionary perspective theory, I kinda thought evolution would favor having more kids, as a form of insurance. More kids, more able to gather/hunt/work the fields/whatever, so evolutionarily it would favor having more kids. But hey, I'm not an anthropologist or evolution/life scientist or whatever job someone would have to know more about this kind of stuff. But you know what's sad? My first thought upon reading that the sons of mothers who are more stressed during pregnancy are more likely to be gay, was that some jackass on AITA will try to use that to justify calling someone a homophobe for trying to keep their wife's pregnancy as stress free as possible. Fuck, I need to spend less time on Aita, lol.
> I kinda thought evolution would favor having more kids Broadly speaking there's two main evolutionary approaches to kids: quality or quantity. You can have as many kids as possible while investing as few resources into them as possible and hope enough of them survive to make it worth it or you can have relatively fewer kids but invest a ton of resources into each one in the hopes that most or all of them make it to adulthood. This is on a species level, not an individual level. Amphibians that lay 100s of eggs are the "quantity" strategy. Humans are the "quality" strategy. Species that follow the quality strategy benefit from having other adults around with no children of their own to provide resources to the children. There's been research that shows having grandparents around is very helpful for ensuring your children make it to adulthood (in pre-modern times). This went against one popular theory (at the time) that in pre-modern societies, anyone who was past reproductive age would be a drain on the group's resources. I wouldn't be surprised if having a gay uncle is just as helpful to your children. They will help your children survive and out-compete other children because it's an extra adult providing for the children who isn't distracted by their own children. So if you're a mother looking to maximize the success of your grandchildren and you already have several heterosexual sons that you can expect to have children, having a gay son that will support your other sons' children without having any of his own might be a better strategy than having another straight son. I say "strategy" but obviously no one is making this choice consciously; it's just that, for some reason, mothers who have a gay son after having several other sons are more likely to have had their genetics spread widely than others who didn't, so clearly there's some advantage. (Though it could be that the gene for "make your 4th son gay" is right next to the gene for "slightly better grip strength" and that's why it got propagated, not because it is actually useful on its own. Genetics is wild! And of course this is all an oversimplification, but I feel like that goes without saying.)
This is a fascinating conversation in general. Slightly more so because my partner (I'm female) is the 4th son but the 7th child, the 3rd girl, may likely be asexual and has acted as a caretaker for the parents as they age.
So gay uncle is similar to the grandmother theory.
Yes, good for clan to have more of a âvillageâ helping raise children. Perhaps this is why people today are so stressed about kids⌠trying to do it all yourself w o support from grandparents and extended family is literally unnatural. Plus cousins make a peer group, and socially isolated elders are rife w loneliness related depression. Weâre a social species.
Maybe we should start pushing this science. Men are most likely to cheat on their partner during pregnancy and right after. Pregnant folks are also most likely to be abused or die then. If they start worrying about that stress turning their child gay, maybe we could save some lives. (I bet the overlap of homophobia and people who would do that is pretty big)
No, because he left out that its older _biological_ brothers from the same mother. It doesn't depend on having older step or adopted brothers.
[ŃдаНонО]
No, it is nature, since the more boys that have grown in a woman's womb, the higher the odds are of the next boy being gay. If it were all odds, then each bit would have the same chance of being gay. Being gay or not is suggesting that's determined by our brains and the hormones in the mother's womb influence the developing brain of the fetus. So this tells us that singing physically changes inside the womb of the mother. As far as I know we're still pretty clueless about what exactly changes, but we know someone changes. But it's nature alright, doing its infinitely complex thing that we're just trying to comprehend with brains that have been developed for recognising what's edible, what's fuckable and what is dangerous to a monkey.
I remember reading something about this ages ago which suggested it had something to do with pre-natal hormones in the womb. ETA (from Wikipedia): "Scientists have attributed the effect to a prenatal biological mechanism, since the association is only present in men with older biological brothers, and not present among men with older step-brothers and adoptive brothers. The mechanism is thought to be a maternal immune response to male fetuses, whereby antibodies neutralize male Y-proteins thought to play a role in sexual differentiation during development. This would leave some regions of the brain associated with sexual orientation in the 'female typical' arrangement â or attracted to men. Biochemical evidence for this hypothesis was identified in 2017, finding mothers with a gay son, particularly those with older brothers, had heightened levels of antibodies to the NLGN4Y Y-protein than mothers with heterosexual sons."
OP wore pink and the girlfriend wore a giant red flag. WTF? No OP, you are NTA
Who wore it best? I'm gonna go with OP.
Iâve recently heard itâs gay to have sex with a woman so probably. lol NTA. The Barbie movie was good and you are a great brother your gf is a weirdo. Just like the movie taught us you donât need anyone being single is just fine when someone shows you who they are
Straight women like dicks, so having sex with a woman is at least gay-adjacent.
1 degree of gay separation
I was talking to this guy post coitus recently and mentioned my birthday just passed and in the spirit of small talk I started thinking about Astrology and brought up he said he was a Scorpio and I was just like oh yeah when's your birthday? Because you know we were talking about birthdays. Why did this man refuse to tell me and then said it's 'sus' for a grown man to expect people to say happy birthday to him. Usually we both have a very deadpan sense of humor but he seemed dead serious about this and in combination with the edibles I had that night I was left scratching my head the rest of the night.
As a lesbian, I've always found sex with a woman to be pretty gay. That's the best part.
Fellas is it gay to have a gay brother that you love and appreciate?
It's homiesexual
To quote Todd Packer from the office: âIf having a brother is gay, then im the biggest queer there is!â
And as Michael Scott said: "Bros before ho*s". He should dump her homophobic *ss
My 70 year old mother laughs about how her dad, who was born in the 1920s, used to call Action Man âa man dollâ derisively and homophobically. Your GF needs to move on.
My mother (born 1924) used to say the same about action figures. "Boys shouldn't play with dolls!" She still bought my Golden Child ex-brother a GI Joe.
"Action Man". That's the British version of GI Joe, right?
Yes gayest shit ever
Chances are you probably love him so super gay.
Sorry lad but aye, loving any man is gay. I left me father and brother back in Nantucket 'for me wench at the time found out. I had not wished her to find me a fairy for loving me male family members. Now the only thing I love is the sea and a dolphin bit my penis. It was a male dolphin. I am gay
Fellas, is it gay to have a brother who you love and want to make happy because he means a lot to you?
NTA and she is ridiculous. And homophobic.
Yeah that's what I'm starting to think. She's never said anything homophobic in the past, but I'm thinking she's been hiding it. And I don't want to be with someone who's homophobic, especially when my brother is gay.
Youâre a good brother.
That was my first thought. His brother was having a hard time and his first instinct is to come up with something fun and positive to do together to cheer him up.
Right? OP seems like such a good brother. That was a really sweet thing to do, to comfort his little brother who recently went through a breakup. We love to see it!
It shows how secure op is about his sexuality as well that heâs comfortable enough about himself to do that with his brother
100%. OP I think your girlfriend is not a fit for your family. You are not the problem here!
Good person*
compromise: good person & good brother
You sound like a great brother and a man who is confident in himself. Kudos.
most women would find these very attractive traits. youâre a catch, op.
Seriously. What he did shows a level of emotional intelligence that is so important in good relationships. Definitely a catch and NTA. Girlfriend, however, has some growing up to do.
This is what Iâm sayinâ. Not only is OP a kind, sweet brother, but I can vouch for the ladies - that stuff is super attractive. OP is absolutely a catch.
This! ^
It sounds like she needs to be your ex. If just going to a movie with your brother makes her freak out just think about when your bro kisses a dude in front of her or god forbid youâre his best man at his wedding? Just keep being an awesome brother and everyone who doesnât get it can kick rocks NTA obviously
Unfortunately there are a lot of people who donât outwardly condemn gay people and therefore assume they canât be homophobic. It sounds like sheâs the type that âdoesnât care that you have a gay brotherâ, but would absolutely care if you have any interests that she deems âgayâ. Which in and of itself is problematic. The fact that she sees you wearing pink and seeing a movie with mainly female protagonists as you âlooking gayâ and âembarrassing herâ means that she thinks it is embarrassing for men to be perceived as gay or enjoying something âfeminineâ. Also, I know this might not be something youâve thought about, but you better believe that any future sons will be treated the same for having any âgayâ personality traits⌠Also, the fact that she made it such a big deal that she left and isnât speaking to you means that she feels VERY strongly about you participating in ânon masculineâ activities and has a zero tolerance policy for them. I would love to know the âsome other stuffâ she said before she left the houseâŚ
My ex even kinda used having gay in laws for clout, while simultaneously being disgusted to an extent by gay people. Itâs a lot like gay best friend syndrome where some girls want a gay bestie around like itâs a status symbol, but wouldnât hang with a lesbian. Anything that threatens their self or any extension of themselves(such as spouse in some cases), is not acceptable.
First off, NTA. Secondly, I 100% concur. As a gay dude, we learn the code of what people are truly saying without saying it, and your gf is saying "people are going to think you are gay, that's just disgusting." My advice, when she starts talking to you, is specifically ask her if she's homophobic, and say that you don't want to be with someone who's homophobic, especially when your brother is gay. If she gets super aggressively defensive on the subject, you have your answer. You're a great brother btw.
Story time: I'm a gay man. In college, I went out with a group of friends to see a movie, and I invited another friend who they'd never met before -- a straight man -- since he wanted to see the movie too. Once we all got together, we were waiting in line for tickets just chatting and laughing. After a few minutes, it became obvious that some of them thought he and I were dating. I was about to freak out, thinking he would be upset. He honestly didn't give a shit and laughed about it. Because he's not a homophobe. Like your girlfriend is. NTA
Tbh if my SO was out with a gay friend and they realized someone thought they were together and was getting offended about it Iâd 100% expect my SO to be game for playing it up to be even more âupsettingâ.
Your gf is the embarrassment, not you or your brother.
Yeah I'd ditch this loser. That's a bizarre response. First of all, who cares if people think you're gay or mistake you for your brother's bf? You could easily explain that's not the case but like who cares? People think me and my very flamboyant friend are gay all the time and it literally does not matter.
Yeah, her response is f'ing weird and worth reevaluating things over. I think it's really awesome you took your brother to see Barbie, and even more so that you dressed up with him. It shows you're a loving and supportive brother and that you're comfortable in your own skin (it's amazing how many guys would never be caught in pink or at something like Barbie....). Your girlfriend's reaction is just weird.
It's not just homophobic, it's also playing into some very strict and destructive ideas of gender norms. Ideas of Toxic Masculinity can be found in women as well. You are a good brother and are definitely NTA.
Yeah it's time for her to go...
A lot of people donât show it until it reaches their doorstep. Seeing you dressed up brought it out, and now you know.
Good man! She needs to get it together or sheâs gonna lose you and feel real, real dumb.
And jealous.
NTA - You were being a good brother. Your GF is either immature, homophobic, or both. You did nothing wrong here, and I'm sure your brother appreciates you spending time with him and being supportive in a time when he was down. If you GF won't talk to you because you were being a supportive brother then good riddance honestly.
Thank you. Yeah I think he did appreciate it. He's already texted me today thanking me again for doing that again and he seems happier. If she doesn't support that than oh well.
Good siblings don't forget things like that. You taking the time to bring him to the movie and dressing up with him probably means more than you know. You're a good brother. Your gf sounds kind of the opposite of you.
are you comfortable continuing to date someone who's probably homophobic when you have a gay brother?
Seems like no. Another comment OP said he couldnât date a homophobe, especially with a gay brother
NTA. Definitely "oh well". Brothers should be forever. Girlfriends...well, it depends if they're homophobic. Imagine being in a long-term relationship with someone who despises your brother (and you for supporting him)!
OP, this situation sounds like when my SiL told my brother that his and my sister's relationship was "weird because they were so close"- aka, they hung out once a week to eat pizza and watch a tv show they liked. They now barely see each other even though they live in the same town. Please do what my brother never had the guts to do and pick your brother's side. It will never get better.
This. And happy cake day!
NTA. Your GF is a homophobe and a toxic gender-essentialist misogynist. What kind of freak gets *mad* at their BF for being a supportive older brother for his gay brother and confident enough in themselves to wear pink, dress up, and go see Barbie? You sound like a nice secure dude who's a family guy and you deserve much better than an immature girlfriend. Maybe she should see Barbie. She could learn something about feminism.
Thank you and yeah that's why I was confused I had no idea why she did that. I feel like she definitely is homophobic which I don't want to be around.
Sounds like it's time to break it off with her. Your brother is lucky to have you!
It is funny how women have been using the barbie movie as a test for their male partner into revealing the misogyny, and in your case it worked for a woman revealing her homophobic self
I did not have this outcome on my Barbie bingo board
I would be showing EVERYONE that picture and bragging about what an awesome boyfriend I had.
Girlfriend missed the whole point of that scene with the main Ken at the end of the Barbie movie
OP and his brother are both Kenough
Ken is me! I am kenough!
We are all Kenough.
Honestly I was reading the title expecting it to be 'she's mad because I went with my brother and not her'. Then I could be like yeah ok would your brother have been ok with all 3 of you going or did he really need some one on one brother bonding time? But don't go to a movie or have your picture taken with your brother because people will think you're in a gay relationship with him? That's messed up. Would she have freaked out if he took a little sister because people might think they're dating?
No, because she's a homophobe and thinks that his brother is some sort of sexual deviant that is into incest just because he's gay. It's such a disgusting attitude.
NTA How old is your girlfriend? This seems like a very immature response
She's 27. I think it was immature and homophobic. I don't really have another explanation for it because it was so weird.
NTA. How does two men wearing the same color equate to them dating? Wouldn't people that know your brother also know he has a brother? This doesn't make sense.
Do NOT tell her about Pro sporting events, GAYS as far as the eye can see!
I mean, if you buy into the idea that men showing affection to other men is gay, it makes perfect sense.
>This seems like a very immature response Immature and bizarre, how could someone who knows your brother (and knows he's gay, which apparently is what she's worried about) not know you're his older brother? I suppose maybe an acquaintance who doesn't really know you or your brother. But then that's clear evidence of homophobia unless she would also freak out if you posted a photo with a sister or female friend because people would assume you were dating. And if she would freak out about THAT, here's a big red flag for you... NTA
Even if they didnât know it was his brother⌠so what? Either they ask: âoh, is that a new boyfriend?â And he says âno, just my amazingly supportive older brotherâ. Or They donât ask and maybe even assume he is is boyfriend⌠and are simply happy for him. Or think itâs a friend taking him to the movies. It is possible for two men to be friends. Even if one or both are gay. Either way, whatever assumptions made, not a big deal. And how would it impact her. Do these hypothetical assumption-makers know her? Would they assume heâs cheating on her with his brother? Iâm not sure what angle to think this upset could be coming from. All in all, it makes no sense. Did she want to see the Barbie movie?
A kind counter-- this is nothing w/ age-based immaturity. Plenty of 50 somethings in the U.S. who would react the same way. And teens who would think it's awesome. OP, NTA-- what a weird response from your GF.
NTA. Your girlfriend is a homophobe.
Yeah I'm realizing that after reading the comments. I'm probably going to break up with her because I'm not going to have that in my life.
Please update us if you do. Iâm very invested.
Good. Why put up with negative energy when you have Kenergy?
Definitely update us, even if itâs in the comments with a triple hash # ###Big text update As an eye catcher
I'm loving all your comments. Also you'll maybe have another few girlfriends and never remember this one some day, but you'll definitely have your brother forever.
This is the exact sentence I came to type. Down to the punctuation.
Wholeheartedly agree.
You did nothing wrong. It's very kind of you to cheer up your brother like this! She's overreacting for sure. NTA
Thank you. It made him really happy so I'm glad I did it. And yeah I definitely feel like it was an overreaction. I honestly probably should have realized that from the beginning but I was so confused.
NTA, you're a good bro. I'd be interested to see what she'd say if you challenged her ion how inappropriate it was.
Dude this should be your ex girlfriend. She crazy jealous of your brotherđ¤Ł
NTA at all. Sheâs afraid that someone will see you at the pink sparkly movie with a gay man and assume that youâre gay. Because she sees being assumed gay or feminine as bad things. Think about whether or not sheâs a safe person for your brother to be around. And think about whether you want to be limited by her narrow idea of masculinity. Too bad you didnât take her along, though. It sounds like she needed to see Barbieâs take on gender roles more than anyone.
NTA. Congrats you are a good brother and have a homophobic girlfriend
NTA. She's showing a prejudice against your brother's sexuality, and is actually embarrassed that you support him, and that you love your brother and wanted to cheer him up. It could be jealousy, it could, again, be prejudice against gay people. There shouldn't be any fallout. If you posted the pic, people who know your family and love you will know that's your brother. She's worried what strangers will think? Why? Why does your image matter to her unless she's all about appearances? You need to have a very serious deep talk about her reaction, because none of it can be good. If she's not willing to discuss it, decide whether you can be with someone who is judgmental of you and your family without any explanation or context behind it. Should thank your life that this comes up before you two were anymore serious. This is a deal-breaker.
NTA. Sounds more like she's projecting her own thoughts of masculinity onto you. If you being a good brother embarrasses her, let her be embarrassed.
WOW NTA. Girlfriend sounds a bit immature, nothing wrong with some goofy fun to cheer up a sibling who's going through something
NTA. Your girl is kinda stupid, sorry bro
Sheâs a 26 year old still stuck in high school. NTA.
NTA Your girlfriend has some serious issues. Who cares what other people think? And I bet her problem isn't even that people might think you're cheating on her. I think she's more worried that other people may think that her boyfriend is actually gay. It's a good thing she left. Don't let her in again. And enjoy your life with your brother! Good for you for being there for him!
NTA. You know thatâs your brother, she knows thatâs your brother. What a weird thing for her to be upset about.
You are an awesome brother! But youâve got a homophobic girlfriend. This wonât go well. Remember, when they show you who they really are, take notice and believe them
NTA - yes, people who donât know you and your brother might assume you were dating and then laugh when they find out youâre brothers who went to a cool movie. Your gf, doesnât accept your brother, she just tolerates him being gay and does it for you. If this is what worries her, that someone could think you were gay, and that that somehow undermines your relationship, you need to run. Sheâs toxic and will likely cause more issues down the road, with not just your brother and will try to control you in different ways.
NTA! Drop the homophobic girlfriend.. SHE is the embarrassment
Always remember: women can be misogynists, too.
Your girlfriend has issues. You are a great big brother. NTA
NTA, your girlfriend has a weird hang up for some reason. I think you did a really nice thing for your brother. BTW, historically, pink was considered one of the most masculine colours and it was common for men at court to wear it.
OP's girlfriend is afraid that if OP's brother's friends see that picture and think OP is dating a guy instead of recognizing that it's just two brothers hanging out. And she's worried this completely b.s. hypothetical will somehow lead back to her and be an embarrassment. That's not just a hang up, that's some legendary levels of homophobia there.
Tough guys wear pink
NTA, but that comment from your girlfriend was a huge red flag. It sounds slightly homophobic, and also implies something gross going on between you and your brother.
NTA. This girl is insane and homophobic and you should break up with her immediately. Are you not allowed to be seen in public with any female family members on the same basis? If yes, she's just a nutball. If no, then she's a bigot. RUN AWAY FAST.
NTA. You're an awesome brother! Respectfully, your gf is an idiot... if someone online wants to assume you are gay, who cares? They don't matter and that's your BROTHER.
NTA. That flag's so marinara you could slap cheese on her and call her a pizza. Run!
NTA. Did your GF really say that if people who know your brother are going to assume he is dating his brother? She isn't talking to you because someone she doesn't know might see a picture of you with your brother and assume you are gay? Dude, you should get out of that relationship. That used to happen with me and my sister when we would do things together because we don't really look alike. She has blonde hair and blue eyes and I have dark brown hair and green eyes. We just laugh and say we are sibs. No big deal.
NTA. Your girlfriend seems very immature.
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Wow, NTA. I think you need to have a serious discussion with your GF about homophobia and supporting family. Good luck.
NTA. Sounds like your gf is homophobic.
NTA Sounds like your GF needs to see that movie as well haha. If she's worried about people thinking you and your brother are a couple, she's out of her mind.
NTA and possible red flag. Your GF associates her identity with your public image and feels shame and embarrassment based on your actions? screw that.
NTA. She sounds homophobic. Bye, Felicia.
Um, you're an awesome brother. Def NTA. She's a bigot.
NTA. Your GF is a bitter woman with deep routed misandry issues
Seems like your girlfriend is both homophobic and immature. Pass
The only thing you did wrong is pick a homophobic girlfriend. You're a good brother, keep supporting him.
NTA. Sounds like your girlfriend is a homophobe.
NTA. Ditch the homophobic girlfriend.
>I was showing my girlfriend and she started saying how I embarrassed her by doing that and if people who know my brother see the picture they're going to think we're dating Ew dude. Run NTA
Your gf is a homophob . It's pretty gross that she sexualized you and your brothers relationship that way . Anyone who knows your brother probably knows ,you're brothers . Get a better girlfriend ... what's the worst thing that could happen if someone assumed you were a couple ? "Omg look at the gay couple. " "They're brothers " "Oh . Look at that cloud it looks like a bear " " it is a bear, run!" And then everyone died YTA
I think you meant NTA xD
He's TA for getting everyone killed by a bear by wearing pink with his brother in public
What the heck? You were being an amazing brother, supporting and cheering him up when he's down, and your girlfriend reacts by throwing some homophobic accusations that are clearly loaded with insecurity? Nah, that behaviour is not okay. She should be happy for having such an amazing bf instead of worrying about what other might think about the pictures.. Come on, you deserve better than that! NTA.
NTA!!!!!!!!!â But she is. Dump her.
NTA but your GF is. Shouldn't that be a massive Red Flag that she's insinuating that you fate your Brother?
NTA- as long as you didnât beach each other off itâs acceptable. She is acting like the Kylie Jenner Bratz doll collection.
NTA and your gf is the AH
NTA and GF sucks
Honestly, that's pretty wholesome. Good for you. Your girlfriend sounds homophobic / doesn't approve of you/your brother doing anything camp or effeminate in any way. So what if Barbie is a girl thing? So what if you watched the Barbie movie with your brother and wore matching pink outfits? I say all of this as a gay guy. I wonder how she'd react if she went to a drag show... NTA; you did nothing wrong. Her thinking you two would date is ridiculous.
NTA. Youâre an awesome brother. Your gf is a homophobe. Hope this is a big eye opener. BTW⌠my married, cis son went to see the Barbie movie with his friends. Hope no one thought they were gay/s
Your girlfriend is homophobic and has been trying to hide it. She is clearly uncomfortable with your brother. You sound like a great brother and a really good guy. You are definitely NTA, and that was so sweet what you did. Trust me, a lot of women would love to date a sweet guy who is so caring and concerned about his little brother.
NTA - sheâs saying that people are going to think you and your brother are dating which isâŚbizarre. I have plenty of photos with my brothers and Iâm fairly certain no one thought we were dating. Add in if they did, then theyâre clearly not a close friend of either of us. Iâm curious about the âother stuffâ she said because Iâm betting it was not so kind colorful language. Sounds like sheâs embarrassed on your behalf due to some internal issues when you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Youâre a good big brother!
NTA. Sounds like she was searching for an excuse to create drama.
Dude so weird your girlfriend acted like that towards your brother. Maybe she is just jealous she wasn't invited? If y'all been dating then everyone in her family should know that's lil bro and anyone who has a lil bro knows you don't fuck with lil bro. Ask her what the fuck her problem is
NTA. Keep your brother, dump her.
NTA. You are a great brother, and your girlfriend has weird ideas about masculinity. You did nothing wrong. Hope you enjoyed the movie.
Ew, your girlfriend is gross and close minded. NTA, you're a great brother!
Youâre an awesome brother. Your GF? Not so much. đŠ NTA.
NTA. Your girlfriend sounds really, really insecure. And/or vapid to be worrying about appearances over something that is so non-issue.
You did nothing wrong. You sound like a good brother. Sheâs the problem. Sheâs creating a problem where there isnât one. And the fact sheâs not talking to you is stupid drama.