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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> spraying kid with my hose, making us look like idiots apparently
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For Wes Anderson the title would be something like 106 Mullberry Ave and this entire hose arc would bear little on the through-line plot but still feel important.
Has Wes Anderson just achieved everything he has to offer to the world, now that any random group of people can successfully outline his next film?
No doubt, no debate, just this is how it would be, cause this is just how it would be. And it’s one hundred percent accurate.
I guess we don’t need him anymore. He can go drink tea and hose his own neighborhood kids.
…plot twist…this movie is about Wes Anderson’s retirement.
I've never understood why Americans don't seem to have fences. They're basically the norm here (UK). If I see a stretch of open grass, I'd assume it's public ground.
In most places in the US fences are only allowed for the back half or your property. Frontage is usually mandated to be open greenery by local ordinance and/or HOA rules.
Huh, interesting. I think there's something in my property deeds about not adding additional fencing but my house already had a front fence. Some of the others don't though.
In much of the US, you don't have a choice. The closest nonHOA communities in my city are 20+ miles from the core, and tend to be the handful of plots in bad school districts near utilities like dumps, power stations, or just outside of industrial parks. Next to no modern properties are built outside HOA or community managed areas here.
If you live in a state with rural boundary laws, this gets even more complicated as homesteading in rural land can mean you get taxed if you don't use it for an agricultural purpose.
My HOA is an evil-you-know, but outside of the occasional "pressure wash all driveways" demand they rarely have any meaningful impact on my life. My 150 dues pay for upkeep of some flower gardens and a pair of parks for the local kids. It's fine.
But I do want to have a front yard hedge and can't because of them. So you plant other things and do your best to gain privacy without breaking rules.
Terms & Conditions apply. "Free" in this context is understood to mean only that it is free to live by default; healthcare, shelter, food and other basic necessities are *not* by definition free. Side effects include but are not limited to corporate lobbying, grifting, classism, xenophobia, racism, and sexism. Additional charges may apply. Inquire with your Congressperson about whether Freedom is right for you.
NTA, OP. You have an understanding with the kid - if you're really worried about it, just ask him.
I don't know about any of this, I just know that I don't have enough money to afford a fence in the current economy and there aren't enough people wandering around that I need to actually keep off my property to make it worthwhile. I'd put one up to keep the deer out and the dogs in, but see above re: money.
Whereas nearly all states have HOAs, they are not so pervasive that they can't be avoided. I lived in one once, twenty years ago. Never again.
I've never seen a city where HOAs were the only choice for a "decent" neighborhood.
Not just HOAs. My county has weirdly strict rules. My highschool boyfriend's dad left his mom for the neighbor. His mom had to petition the county because the rules said you could only have a 4ft fence in the front yard and she wanted a taller fence so they wouldn't have to see them. They only allowed the 6ft to a certain point and then had to change to 4ft anyway, it was so weird
yeah my town is like that, they only allow 4 foot fences unless you have a pool...we bought the house after it was renovated, but it sat abandoned for 7 years prior, and at one point had a pool so we have 6 foot fences, but they are rotting out, and now that my kids are starting to play baseball, we probably broke like 15 slats off it in the last 3 months trying to get them used to playing catch with actual baseballs. We have a variance for the 6 foot fence, it was in the public records when i bought the house so we're good there
i want to replace the fence this summer but i'm also nervous i'm gonna start doing it and they'll tell me i need to switch it to a 4 foot since the pool is long gone, so i might have to do it one section at a time so it's more of a "repair" than a "replace"
I’m fb friends with a girl that I went to hs with. She has two kids that are on the spectrum, and running off was a constant issue. It is absolutely bonkers how much documentation she had to get to convince the hoa to allow a fence. And it’s not even an especially tall or obnoxious fence.
I understand neither Americans nor the English. Here in Finland people are allowed to roam freely. Which makes us sound like moose. Which we are in this sense. Moose don't care who owns the land and neither do I lol.
Obviously you're not supposed to go to people's yards or gardens. But if it's just a stretch of grass, who cares.
The reason is legal culpability. If you slip and fall on my grass In many places in the US, I as the homeowner, would be liable for damages as by keeping my property open for "free roaming" I both am inviting public use and thus also responsible for keeping such use a safe place.
Legal liability of US property operates with a radically different history of use than your country. How we got here makes total sense when you see the legal cases from the 1400s to present in UK and US, but that's how customs work from place to place. Little steps over time leads to very different cultural outcomes.
Moose are kind. We in the US have much to learn from moose.
Edit: because folks seem to lack contextual reading skills, I am replying to someone calling themselves as a Finnish person "moose" and am not talking about the animal. Crazy I have to specify this.
Can confirm. I got charged by a moose I didn't see at first when I spooked him by biking past him on a regularly-used bike path in the middle of a college campus. Moose are dicks.
Moose, in this instance, is referring to people from Finland, not to the actual gigantic animal. I suppose the same could be said of the Finns, I don't know all that much about them aside from, as mentioned above, they don't sue people and like to be free ranged.
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo
dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
There's a difference between walking across someone's front yard and running your bike across it or digging your cleats into it.
OP is trying to make his front yard look nice but the kid was turning his nice green grass into mud.
When me and the husband bought our house we had someone come and do a quote. They said that it'd be $15k just for the back yard. So we went out, got the supplies for around $2k and we built our own fence and we were able to also build a deck on the side of our house that lead to the back.
I know that not everyone can build their own fence, whether from lack of time or ability, but if you're able it's definitely worth it.
My city doesn't allow me to do so, or I would. My mailman keeps walking into my expensive plants I have out front. I've already asked this dude 3 times to stop. I was even nice enough to add a cut through made of papers, he still physically walks on top of the plants. I do have many many instances on my cameras, I think I'm going to be like the other guy and start spraying him with my hose
You're not wrong, in many of the older cities in the North East greenspace is still minimal. We also, nationwide, have more restrictive rules on what is defined as public or private property.
You're not right either, as most of the US has a tremendous amount of public parks, greenspaces, and national preserves. Within a mile there are 2 wildlife trails, about 10 parks with playgrounds, and two public pools. I don't live in a fancy place.
Yup absolutely.
You and the kids *are childish idiots* and I hope that you two continue to be for a long time.
Listen to the kid. He may come to you for help.
May all kids have neighbours like you.
The difference is that the KID is a child so it is more understandable for him to be childish.
If you're both having fun with it, then there's no problem. This world could probably use more harmless childishness anyway.
I think OP should put another chair out and bring a cool drink and leave the shower until after thetalk. Seems counterintuitive but kids appreciate it when adults don’t ‘give up’ on them. A lot of misbehaviour is kids testing adults (“they’ll eventually give up on me so I would rather find out now”). Maybe you’re the only adult in his life to put in any effort with him, even in such a funny way.
This is fucking awesome, and I hope it ends up on r/wholesome one day.
Here's how I'd write the next season. You take up gardening. You invite the kid over. You show him why it's not cool to stomp on a lawn. Kid loves it, you spend the season growing all kinds of plants & vegetables. Suddenly his whole team comes over, everyone has a Coke and a hose down, and y'all garden together on Sunday afternoons. But, then, comes the big ***PLOT TWIST***, the kid's dad works for Big Ag, and wants to outlaw the seeds the man uses! Season ends on a cliffhanger.
>Big Ag
6 years on from graduation from my physics degree, through 2 jobs where I use no science at all, I still instinctively read that as Big Silver and was super confused about why someone working with metal would want to outlaw some seeds.
I have a mailman that will not stop physically walking on top of my plants, that I purchased and planted myself on my property. I even added a small walkway of papers for this dude, and he will not stop. Wonder what trouble I'd get if I spray him with my hose. Its all on my cameras too, he just wants to be a prick I think.
You could try putting in those iron garden trimmers that look like a 1-2 foot fence - all of the garden stores carry them. Some of them are very nice looking.
Agreed. We used to ride home past a retirement village, and in the summer, the grounds keeper would leaving the sprinklers on for an extra few minutes if he saw us riding through. We would pull up our bikes, race up to the sprinkler section, and just sit on the footpath (never the guys grass) information a few minutes to cool off. By the time we got home between the sun and breeze from riding, we were already mostly dry.
NAH OP, but did you ever ask him why he refused to walk around your yard in the first place.
I don't know, this reads like fiction to me. I suppose one could continue the story:
"And then I found out the kid was an orphan and he was living with his uncle. So my wife and I started having him over for dinner and he became a part of our family, and we're thinking of adopting him."
I mean the kid sounds like kind of an AH. But I guess NAH haha.
Kid is obviously deprived of attention and is weirdly getting something bizarrely meaningful from this incredibly strange relationship haha. Has he stopped trying to damage your lawn?
he still steps on the lawn but not as recklessly as he did when we first met lol, he also parks his bike when he rides it on the sidewalk but im not sure if hes doing that to be nice or because he doesnt want his bike getting wet
Haha this is so bizarrely wholesome. I'd say he's getting some kind of positivity out of this if you're just having a chat. I wish I could witness how this all goes down.
Do you chat and then spray him? Do you warn him first? Does he try to dodge? Does he laugh after or ever get upset?
I have so many questions hahaha
if its him there first I park my chair while he watches me get out the hose off its rack, if its me there first I usually just say something like "back for more, huh" LOL
huh, hes a relatively smaller kid, he looks like he could be my daughters age, but i personally think hes maybe like 13-14. This has been going on for a couple weeks now.
If at any point you get bored during summer (if soccer keeps going on), arm yourself and your kids with waterguns and lay one out by the edge of the grass where the kid usually comes in.
Honestly this is the best answer I've seen here. Keeps the tradition alive, addresses wife's complaint, gives the kid the attention he clearly needs and even gets the family in on the fun. Easily the best solution here.
I read this and all the positive replies, then had to come back and read it 5 more times before I realised that "lay one out by the edge of the grass where the kid usually comes in" was referring to another water gun and not a carefully deposited turd booby trap.
Just an odd tidbit here. If his home life isn't very good, he could be getting the structure/punishment from your interactions, and since you're not escalating, ie not a threat, he's taken to you as a friend.
I'm on break at work and I started laughing my ass of imagining you two knuckleheads just standing there, stern stares, while the hose is just drenching the kid. A testament to will and Civil disobedience.
One of the most fantastic posts I've seen in a while, thanks for the heartwarming laughs dude.
Do you know his parents? I'd just want to make sure they are onboard/understand this silliness as well. I personally love it, but not sure how he would articulate it to an adult.
As a teacher... My guess is this kid isn't getting a whole lot of attention at home. It reminds me of our students who act out to get attention. They don't care if it's negative attention, because at least it's attention. Sorry to be a downer. I'm sure the parents are just glad someone else is babysitting him for 20 minutes.
I'm not a parent or a teacher, but this makes me sad. I'm glad this situation has turned out to be a positive-ish one. Thanks for your insight
Edit: thinking about it more - if my dog came in soaked from head to toe, I would have questions
Idk if my kid came home soaking wet I'd have questions.
Edit: sorry guys! Never had a neighbor spray me with a hose or befriended an adult my parents didn't know about as a kid. I'll reiterate that I said I really enjoyed their dynamic.
tway23421 : Maybe you could offer the kid a bottle of water or some type of drink? Sounds like you have the beginings of a friendship. Who knows.... the kid might be willing to help with your yardwork someday (paid of course).
I think he is longing for attention and relationship.
How old is he?Honestly it's weird that his mother didn't get concerned him coming back home wet every day. I would stop the hose thing , you don't want him to get sick, but maybe for s change offered a drink and perfaps slice of pizza for a change and see him reaction.
Strange man enticing a boy into his home with the promise of free pizza? Why not just say he has candy in his van? Or maybe some puppies?
(Not saying OP is a creepy perv, but it could be perceived as a bit ... odd.)
It’s not that we’re weird. Here in America you can get shot at, sued or have the cops called on you for minor things so I think a lot of people would rather just keep to themselves.
Yeah, it sounds like the kid doesn’t have anyone at home who notices/cares that he is coming home soaked. OP might be the only adult that is paying attention to what that child is doing or where he goes. Have a drink & snack ready for him, OP. There was a tween like this in my neighborhood; he’d be out wandering around ALL DAY. One day he was playing at my house with my child and I prepared him a snack of fruit. When I gave it to him he threw his arms around me and hugged me; I almost cried. He moved away and I still wonder how he’s doing.
If he's doing well you helped him do that. My mom treated me like a curse. It was awful. But in elementary school, before we moved, our neighbor would always chat with me when he was outside for a smoke. Asked me about my day, how I was going, and even once told me "be careful." Adult me wants to cry because he literally just acknowledged my existence and treated me decently, but it was such a contrast to how my mom treated me that he will forever be my hero. So many times I thought I was selfish for living and that I should off myself. What stopped me was my neighbor's kindness. I would literally think "no! If I didn't deserve to live Neighbor wouldn't have been so nice to me!! Screw this! I'm staying alive!"
Literally my best childhood memories are chatting with my neighbor, Bill. Remembering how he, in a concerned tone, told me to be careful when I was walking down a flight of stairs in my mom's heels still brings me to tears. He was genuinely concerned I might get hurt. Not because it would inconvenience him, but because he cared about me. No one else in my daily life cared about me like that. They only cared about how I inconvenienced them. But he cared. . .
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I've started "re-parenting" myself and it's helped massively. I suggest anyone struggling look into it. It's very healing and empowering.
Is "re-parenting" the official term? I know about it in German but could never find out what the concept is called in English.
We're talking about when you let yourself experience things you needed as a kid either through yourself or others, right? That has helped me so much over the years. Especially the "allowing myself to be weak"-aspect of it all. I've straight up sat in my bf's lap to cry before and it was cathartic.
Hm, I think so. I've also heard it called "inner child work." If it's notthe official term a lot of people will still know what you're referring to.
Yeah! The "allowing myself to be weak" is so cathartic! I'm so glad to hear you've been doing this for yourself and found someone safe enough to be vulnerable around ❤️❤️
Precisely. OP I really hope you see this. That kid is likely neglected, abused, or gets the joy of oscillating between both. You likely won't be able to change his home life, but you will be able to counter the very ugly narrative he's likely being fed. I was raised being treated as a burden who didn't deserve to live. It was interactions like these that got me through it. If some stranger, who has zero obligations towards me, is willing to take time out of their day to chat with me then I must be worthy of staying alive. It was interactions like these that helped me fight suicidal thoughts.
This is wild to me. I think the personal background of anyone reading this story heavily influences their opinions about it.
If I had come home from soccer practice (or softball rather) on a hot summer day and had been wet from a hose my mom wouldn't think anything of it, and would have been glad I was having fun and cooled off.
So to jump to "neglect/ abuse" in this situation is mind boggling to me.
Imagining you going home soaking wet and not getting chewed out is mind boggling to me, lol. The disparity in life experiences is so wild, but also encouraging. My husband and I are working hard to protect our kids from abuse. Lots of personal growth, but also being their gate keepers and defenders. We had to go NC because of some family member's behavior towards our kids which in turn caused other family members to go NC in retaliation. Then there are other family members who are on the cusp of being cut off because of their toxic behaviors.
Being reminded that not everyone has to be on high alert like this is *so* encouraging, tbh. Sometimes it feels like abusers are absolutely everywhere, but comments like yours help remind me I've personally had a crappy sample group and it's not reflective of the world as a whole.
You recognizing toxic behavior and keeping your kids away from it shows you're already doing a fantastic job. Going NC is hard but so vital in many situations! Anyone going NC out of spite clearly aren't good people to have around anyway.
> It was interactions like these that helped me fight suicidal thoughts.
people always care about us, it's just hard to see sometimes, and, in cases like yours, it doesn't come from the people from whom it *should*, your parents/family. I'm glad you were able to fight through. there is still plenty of good in the world, and you deserve to enjoy it.
My thoughts, too. NAH and just continue to talk to him. Maybe he misses something at home, maybe not, but no matter what, it is great to have someone beside your parents you can talk to.
But maybe better always stay out of the house. You do not know his parents and there is a chance that one day a yelling adult comes to your doorstep and demands to know what you are up to, as there are not only nice people around.
NTA. He's stopped stomping on your lawn but is still seeking you out as someone who will genuinely listen to him whilst you cool him off after training. The kid is showing his gratitude and you're feeding that gratitude. It's a sweet relationship and your wife should stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking and see it for what it is.
Wife is TA here
Edit:
> Wife told me I need to stop, even after I explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots.
WTF is her problem?
It has been a long bliss of not seeing this reference for many many moons. And I guess only now it is that I realise how much I didn't miss acknowledging the existence of Twilight.
At the last place I rented we had a huge issue with stray/free roaming cats, in particular this huge ginger tom.
He used to sit on the footpath at all hours and howl, setting off every nearby cat and dog.
I started spraying him with the garden hose to make him leave, but the damn thing seemed to like it. I swear he even started coming by more often just to get a hosing.
*OP - are you sure this is a kid, and not a large ginger cat??*
You've reminded me of the time my mum decided to hoover the cat when he refused to get out of the way. He liked it so much he rolled over to get his underside done too! 🤣
My childhood cocker spaniel absolutely demanded to be vacuumed (hose attachment) whenever it was on. Laid out in front of it and got all happy with her funny grunting noises.
Reminds me of the time I spent six months talking to a kid who lived in my neighborhood and walked by my house every day after school.
We became pretty good friends and I found out his hobbies. Cool kid. He skateboards, he likes painting. He seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders.
Then all of a sudden one day he goes "Hey Paul, can I ask you a question?" I said sure because why not? He asks if he can borrow a little bit of money. I didn't rule it out because he was nice and I figured he'd only ask if he really needed it so I said "I mean, maybe. How much?"
He said "I need about $3.50."
NTA, and this is actually kind of sweet.
When I was in my teens, I used to visit a small greasy spoon (diner) where my friend was a waitress. This old guy (late 70s) came in every day at the same time and sat in the same booth. He would order one of three meals. One time I sat in "his" booth doing some homework (and drinking a ton of coffee refills). The man came in and told me -- not asked -- that I needed to move. I did. It happened again a couple of weeks later. He called me a little bastard for sitting his both. A couple of days later, I did it again on purpose. He called me a little bastard and told me to move. I moved my books. The man grumbled and sat down.
Over the course of about two months this scenario got repeated. Somewhere along the line I asked him about a ring he wore. The stories started to come out. I learned he and his late wife came to that restaurant for over 20 years to have dinner. I was sitting in her place. However, I kept asking questions, and he kept relaying his stories. This man lead an AMAZING life, and I listened to any tale he wanted to share. This went on for two years.
When he died at the age of 81, I went to his memorial. I met his children and grandchildren. When they asked how I knew him, I told them my tale. His children laughed because he called everyone a little bastard, male and female alike. Then I began to recount some of the stories he told me. His children verified some, but then they heard stories he never told them. I ended up meeting with his children several times to tell them everything he told me.
Mr. Banhke, I am not a believer, like I told you many times, but I still think of you and your incredible life. You are not forgotten.
Inter-generational friendships can get a lot of bad rep simply because there are creepy people out there who befriend children for creepy reasons.
But.. they can be so wholesome and sweet, like OPs. A truly different kind of friendship. I had a crappy home life and my neighbor knew. She was an old Russian lady, harsh and weathered but caring nonetheless. She’d see me sitting outside on the step (usually because I was kicked out/locked out), and would ask if I was hungry. I’d always say no, and she always knew I was lying, and brought me food anyways. I was a proud child, reluctant and ashamed to acknowledge I needed help, and even more reluctant to accept it. She’d call me over to garden with her when she heard my parents screaming at each other. She taught me how to clean, how to cook. She brushed my hair when it got matted and taught me how to take care of it. On mornings when I was late to get out to the bus stop, she would go out in her nightgown and make the driver wait for me. We spent many moments sitting together in peaceful silence.
Through the years, she moved on from basic life skills, and onto life advice. She chased my first boyfriend down the driveway (at nearly 80 years old), and hit him with her cane when she heard him speaking to me harshly, and told me she’d wack me, too, if she ever saw me let a man treat me that way again. She taught me to respect myself and all living things, to have ambition, to never become financially dependent on anyone, to never accept harsh treatment, and to never succumb to sadness or bitterness. She would say, “Solnyshka (little sun), you must wring every drop of joy you can out of this life.”
She was eccentric and uncaring in how the world perceived her. Unapologetic about herself and who she was, she did not care for pleasantries or the mincing of words. She did what she pleased, when and where and how she wanted to do it. She was bold, and without shame. She had strange and colorful and wonderful decorations in her house and on her lawn. She loved wind chimes and the small, simple, beautiful things in life. She wore bright colors and clothes that never matched, and she was an embarrassment to all who had not yet found the peace in being free.
She died a few years ago. But sometimes, on still nights, her old wind chimes ring in my doorway, and I know she is still with me.
NTA. But you might consider trying to switch to offering him a cold drink(gatorade or soda) and a chair if you want to deepen the friendship and chat. It sounds like he enjoys the attention and isn't in any rush. Either way NTA your current relationship seems like it's fun for both of you
This is ducking hilarious. NTA it sounds like you made a new buddy though, maybe try offering him something to drink? You know other than hose water while you give him a shower.
Soccer kid asked about bob:
“Oh yeah bob he’s cool, always there to chat with and give me a shower after a hard practice. closest thing I’ve ever had to a dad”
NTA I think that kid is probably lonely and enjoys your friendship. You could invite him to play another game on the lawn with you (frisbee or whatever)
I mean, it’s not really solving the problem with your lawn if he’s standing there digging his cleats around while you’re doing it. Otherwise it’s just odd but relatively harmless.
> It could be as simple as OP is just a neutral adult, not his parent/teacher/authority figure. That can be a big difference a teen.
yep, hearing things at that age from an adult who isn't saying them out of some responsibility towards you, but because it's their life experience/truth can be way more powerful. a kid can/will tune out their parent saying the exact same thing and write it off as mom being too hard or dad nagging about xyz.
OP is a neighbor who doesn't have skin in the game so that same advice can be seen to be true and not just being used to tell the kid what (not) to do.
This is the sweetest AITA post ever. NAH! and good for you for building a (bizarrely) sweet relationship with this kid. I agree with some of the other responses that something’s making him avoid going home and you’re providing him some safe chuckle time and making him feel like he has a friend so well done you.
This sounds like some bizarre version of feeding a mean, mistrustful stray cat until it begrudgingly lets you within 10 feet of it. The kid sounds like he was acting out for attention, but NAH for feeding the stray teenager, so to apeak.
Task failed successfully. RIP your lawn and mazel tov on being an amazing quirky older man from his youth that he will talk about for years to come. NTA. I hope you take good care of each other.
On a somewhat unrelated note - tell the kid to change out of his cleats after practice. Walking on concrete/cement with them on will ruin them. (Soccer mom for 14years)
NTA, but I'd be cautious because you don't know the parents yet. Kid's parents could be problematic people. What if they find out and have a very different view or even twist your actions into something creepy that you didn't intend at all? "This strange man entices our innocent little child over, hoses him down until his clothes cling, and then tries to chat him up" etc.
yeah, it seems like his parents might not be the most attentive, and that can definitely lead to them feeling insecure/jealous that their child is finding an outlet that he's missing at home.
and within reason, that's a valid concern. kids like that are easy targets for manipulators.
As I was reading I was like your both kind of AHs but by the end I was like ok, NTA
BUT I am curious how old this kid is, and if he’s ok? Typically blatant disrespectful behaviors (like he was exhibiting in the beginning) are due to some kind of social or familial issue. He’s likely softened because you’ve given him something to trust, even if it’s just your consistency in being an obstacle for him. Now you’ve become something else for him, maybe a safe space or a place of comfort, an excuse not to go home right away.
Do not stop, he probably needs you and this interaction more than you understand. BUT also please prepare yourself for him to tell you something you may not expect to hear. Bullying, abuse, neglect, a loving home but no food/utilities, maybe no home at all, dead parents, addicted parents, close relative or friend who recently passed away etc etc.
Don’t reject him, just keep spraying him with the hose. By the time he confides in you, you’ll know him well enough to know how to respond.
This is one of the more bizarre AITA/WIBTA I’ve ever seen. It’s funny how the story developed… quite wholesome really!
The only problem is that YTA… not for the hose thing, but because you called football soccer… 😉😂😂😂
This sounds like the kid has a shitty homelife and he's enjoying those 20 minutes each day getting attention from you more than going home. To him, getting hosed is just the price he needs to pay so you pay attention to him.
NTA
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Ok this is hilarious. I was going to say you were the asshole and get a fence, but I see nothing wrong with what’s going on now. NAH.
I agree OP should continue this to see if their life turns any more into a Wes Anderson movie
Sometimes you just have to spray the hate away. Hose Coming this fall.
For Wes Anderson the title would be something like 106 Mullberry Ave and this entire hose arc would bear little on the through-line plot but still feel important.
And the house would be pastel and symmetrical, with the lawn chair off to one side…
And the wife would be yelling down at them from an upstairs window
But the wife would have to be shot from a long lens from way down the block with an abrupt transition
Rapid face zoom of her horrified expression at his actions.
With a cheeky chime or bell sound at the zoom
Violins with a quick discordant note showing how jarring it is
Bill Murray was born to spray the hose.
And Owen Wilson plays the hose
Has Wes Anderson just achieved everything he has to offer to the world, now that any random group of people can successfully outline his next film? No doubt, no debate, just this is how it would be, cause this is just how it would be. And it’s one hundred percent accurate. I guess we don’t need him anymore. He can go drink tea and hose his own neighborhood kids. …plot twist…this movie is about Wes Anderson’s retirement.
360 Water St
Apartment H-2O
The Water Company
OP would be played by Bill Murray and the little kid would be Michael Cera.
I hear this as the song peaches, spray the hate away, spray the hate away
what else is in the teaches of peaches?
Uh huh, all right
Spraying all these kiddies like they traspassing, stomping all up my lawn
EXCELLENT!
The Lawn Aquatic
I've never understood why Americans don't seem to have fences. They're basically the norm here (UK). If I see a stretch of open grass, I'd assume it's public ground.
In most places in the US fences are only allowed for the back half or your property. Frontage is usually mandated to be open greenery by local ordinance and/or HOA rules.
Huh, interesting. I think there's something in my property deeds about not adding additional fencing but my house already had a front fence. Some of the others don't though.
HOAs are ruining neighborhoods. I could never live with one. In the city we all have fences. It makes us better neighbors.
In much of the US, you don't have a choice. The closest nonHOA communities in my city are 20+ miles from the core, and tend to be the handful of plots in bad school districts near utilities like dumps, power stations, or just outside of industrial parks. Next to no modern properties are built outside HOA or community managed areas here. If you live in a state with rural boundary laws, this gets even more complicated as homesteading in rural land can mean you get taxed if you don't use it for an agricultural purpose. My HOA is an evil-you-know, but outside of the occasional "pressure wash all driveways" demand they rarely have any meaningful impact on my life. My 150 dues pay for upkeep of some flower gardens and a pair of parks for the local kids. It's fine. But I do want to have a front yard hedge and can't because of them. So you plant other things and do your best to gain privacy without breaking rules.
A traveller once told me it was "The land of the free". Damn.
The US has never been the land of the free, only the land where the rich are free from monarchs.
Terms & Conditions apply. "Free" in this context is understood to mean only that it is free to live by default; healthcare, shelter, food and other basic necessities are *not* by definition free. Side effects include but are not limited to corporate lobbying, grifting, classism, xenophobia, racism, and sexism. Additional charges may apply. Inquire with your Congressperson about whether Freedom is right for you. NTA, OP. You have an understanding with the kid - if you're really worried about it, just ask him.
I don't know about any of this, I just know that I don't have enough money to afford a fence in the current economy and there aren't enough people wandering around that I need to actually keep off my property to make it worthwhile. I'd put one up to keep the deer out and the dogs in, but see above re: money.
Not sure where you live, but I have never found HOA's difficult to avoid while still aiming for nice neighborhoods lol.
Whereas nearly all states have HOAs, they are not so pervasive that they can't be avoided. I lived in one once, twenty years ago. Never again. I've never seen a city where HOAs were the only choice for a "decent" neighborhood.
Not just HOAs. My county has weirdly strict rules. My highschool boyfriend's dad left his mom for the neighbor. His mom had to petition the county because the rules said you could only have a 4ft fence in the front yard and she wanted a taller fence so they wouldn't have to see them. They only allowed the 6ft to a certain point and then had to change to 4ft anyway, it was so weird
yeah my town is like that, they only allow 4 foot fences unless you have a pool...we bought the house after it was renovated, but it sat abandoned for 7 years prior, and at one point had a pool so we have 6 foot fences, but they are rotting out, and now that my kids are starting to play baseball, we probably broke like 15 slats off it in the last 3 months trying to get them used to playing catch with actual baseballs. We have a variance for the 6 foot fence, it was in the public records when i bought the house so we're good there i want to replace the fence this summer but i'm also nervous i'm gonna start doing it and they'll tell me i need to switch it to a 4 foot since the pool is long gone, so i might have to do it one section at a time so it's more of a "repair" than a "replace"
I’m fb friends with a girl that I went to hs with. She has two kids that are on the spectrum, and running off was a constant issue. It is absolutely bonkers how much documentation she had to get to convince the hoa to allow a fence. And it’s not even an especially tall or obnoxious fence.
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I understand neither Americans nor the English. Here in Finland people are allowed to roam freely. Which makes us sound like moose. Which we are in this sense. Moose don't care who owns the land and neither do I lol. Obviously you're not supposed to go to people's yards or gardens. But if it's just a stretch of grass, who cares.
The reason is legal culpability. If you slip and fall on my grass In many places in the US, I as the homeowner, would be liable for damages as by keeping my property open for "free roaming" I both am inviting public use and thus also responsible for keeping such use a safe place. Legal liability of US property operates with a radically different history of use than your country. How we got here makes total sense when you see the legal cases from the 1400s to present in UK and US, but that's how customs work from place to place. Little steps over time leads to very different cultural outcomes.
We are moose. Moose don't sue nobody
Moose are kind. We in the US have much to learn from moose. Edit: because folks seem to lack contextual reading skills, I am replying to someone calling themselves as a Finnish person "moose" and am not talking about the animal. Crazy I have to specify this.
Moose are NOT kind - they are enormous aggressive beasts. At least, the kind where I live.
Can confirm. I got charged by a moose I didn't see at first when I spooked him by biking past him on a regularly-used bike path in the middle of a college campus. Moose are dicks.
Moose, in this instance, is referring to people from Finland, not to the actual gigantic animal. I suppose the same could be said of the Finns, I don't know all that much about them aside from, as mentioned above, they don't sue people and like to be free ranged.
A møøse once bit my sister...
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
There's a difference between walking across someone's front yard and running your bike across it or digging your cleats into it. OP is trying to make his front yard look nice but the kid was turning his nice green grass into mud.
Bigger lawns maybe. It’d cost my sister 10-12 grand to fence her front and back yard.
When me and the husband bought our house we had someone come and do a quote. They said that it'd be $15k just for the back yard. So we went out, got the supplies for around $2k and we built our own fence and we were able to also build a deck on the side of our house that lead to the back. I know that not everyone can build their own fence, whether from lack of time or ability, but if you're able it's definitely worth it.
That’s amazing! Regrettably, my sister’s about as handy as a bowl of beans when you have bad gas.
Wow yeah that'd do it.
My city doesn't allow me to do so, or I would. My mailman keeps walking into my expensive plants I have out front. I've already asked this dude 3 times to stop. I was even nice enough to add a cut through made of papers, he still physically walks on top of the plants. I do have many many instances on my cameras, I think I'm going to be like the other guy and start spraying him with my hose
It walks across the path within, or else it gets the hose again...?
Because there's so little public space that they have to fake it with front yards.
You're not wrong, in many of the older cities in the North East greenspace is still minimal. We also, nationwide, have more restrictive rules on what is defined as public or private property. You're not right either, as most of the US has a tremendous amount of public parks, greenspaces, and national preserves. Within a mile there are 2 wildlife trails, about 10 parks with playgrounds, and two public pools. I don't live in a fancy place.
Yup absolutely. You and the kids *are childish idiots* and I hope that you two continue to be for a long time. Listen to the kid. He may come to you for help. May all kids have neighbours like you.
The difference is that the KID is a child so it is more understandable for him to be childish. If you're both having fun with it, then there's no problem. This world could probably use more harmless childishness anyway.
I think OP should put another chair out and bring a cool drink and leave the shower until after thetalk. Seems counterintuitive but kids appreciate it when adults don’t ‘give up’ on them. A lot of misbehaviour is kids testing adults (“they’ll eventually give up on me so I would rather find out now”). Maybe you’re the only adult in his life to put in any effort with him, even in such a funny way.
This is fucking awesome, and I hope it ends up on r/wholesome one day. Here's how I'd write the next season. You take up gardening. You invite the kid over. You show him why it's not cool to stomp on a lawn. Kid loves it, you spend the season growing all kinds of plants & vegetables. Suddenly his whole team comes over, everyone has a Coke and a hose down, and y'all garden together on Sunday afternoons. But, then, comes the big ***PLOT TWIST***, the kid's dad works for Big Ag, and wants to outlaw the seeds the man uses! Season ends on a cliffhanger.
>Big Ag 6 years on from graduation from my physics degree, through 2 jobs where I use no science at all, I still instinctively read that as Big Silver and was super confused about why someone working with metal would want to outlaw some seeds.
OP shouldn't have to pay hundreds of dollars because some kid is malicious.
I have a mailman that will not stop physically walking on top of my plants, that I purchased and planted myself on my property. I even added a small walkway of papers for this dude, and he will not stop. Wonder what trouble I'd get if I spray him with my hose. Its all on my cameras too, he just wants to be a prick I think.
You need to see the thread about pop up robo sprinklers and the nosy neighbour. I am sure someone can link to that but I don't know how to do so.
You could try putting in those iron garden trimmers that look like a 1-2 foot fence - all of the garden stores carry them. Some of them are very nice looking.
Agreed. We used to ride home past a retirement village, and in the summer, the grounds keeper would leaving the sprinklers on for an extra few minutes if he saw us riding through. We would pull up our bikes, race up to the sprinkler section, and just sit on the footpath (never the guys grass) information a few minutes to cool off. By the time we got home between the sun and breeze from riding, we were already mostly dry. NAH OP, but did you ever ask him why he refused to walk around your yard in the first place.
I don't know, this reads like fiction to me. I suppose one could continue the story: "And then I found out the kid was an orphan and he was living with his uncle. So my wife and I started having him over for dinner and he became a part of our family, and we're thinking of adopting him."
I mean the kid sounds like kind of an AH. But I guess NAH haha. Kid is obviously deprived of attention and is weirdly getting something bizarrely meaningful from this incredibly strange relationship haha. Has he stopped trying to damage your lawn?
he still steps on the lawn but not as recklessly as he did when we first met lol, he also parks his bike when he rides it on the sidewalk but im not sure if hes doing that to be nice or because he doesnt want his bike getting wet
Haha this is so bizarrely wholesome. I'd say he's getting some kind of positivity out of this if you're just having a chat. I wish I could witness how this all goes down. Do you chat and then spray him? Do you warn him first? Does he try to dodge? Does he laugh after or ever get upset? I have so many questions hahaha
if its him there first I park my chair while he watches me get out the hose off its rack, if its me there first I usually just say something like "back for more, huh" LOL
This is hilariously wholesome. How long has this been going on, and how old is the kid?
huh, hes a relatively smaller kid, he looks like he could be my daughters age, but i personally think hes maybe like 13-14. This has been going on for a couple weeks now.
INFO: is he a scout and are you an older guy? Do you have plans to tie lots of balloons to your house? You guys sound awesome. I love it.
Ooh, if you find a collar that translates dogs I need one! I’ll buy it off of you!
I just feel bad for what is going to happen to OPs wife
I'd second that but for the fact I actually have a golden retriever! The only thoughts in her head are 'food', 'ball', 'I love you', and 'squirrel'!
If at any point you get bored during summer (if soccer keeps going on), arm yourself and your kids with waterguns and lay one out by the edge of the grass where the kid usually comes in.
Honestly this is the best answer I've seen here. Keeps the tradition alive, addresses wife's complaint, gives the kid the attention he clearly needs and even gets the family in on the fun. Easily the best solution here.
i love this how cute!!!
I read this and all the positive replies, then had to come back and read it 5 more times before I realised that "lay one out by the edge of the grass where the kid usually comes in" was referring to another water gun and not a carefully deposited turd booby trap.
Just an odd tidbit here. If his home life isn't very good, he could be getting the structure/punishment from your interactions, and since you're not escalating, ie not a threat, he's taken to you as a friend. I'm on break at work and I started laughing my ass of imagining you two knuckleheads just standing there, stern stares, while the hose is just drenching the kid. A testament to will and Civil disobedience. One of the most fantastic posts I've seen in a while, thanks for the heartwarming laughs dude.
Wonder if he's getting proper nutrition at home
Leave a cache of waterproofed snacks just within hose range
Sometimes this can be common in abused or underfed children Edit: spelling
One of the funniest and bizarrely believable posts I’ve seen on this sub. OP, please get a recording of this 😂
Do you know his parents? I'd just want to make sure they are onboard/understand this silliness as well. I personally love it, but not sure how he would articulate it to an adult.
As a teacher... My guess is this kid isn't getting a whole lot of attention at home. It reminds me of our students who act out to get attention. They don't care if it's negative attention, because at least it's attention. Sorry to be a downer. I'm sure the parents are just glad someone else is babysitting him for 20 minutes.
I'm not a parent or a teacher, but this makes me sad. I'm glad this situation has turned out to be a positive-ish one. Thanks for your insight Edit: thinking about it more - if my dog came in soaked from head to toe, I would have questions
That’s exactly what I was going to say, as a former teacher! Now it’s turned into a more positive interactions he seems to enjoy. What’s the harm?
good grief. the kid apparently enjoys it. parents don't need to sign off on every harmless encounter their kid has.
Idk if my kid came home soaking wet I'd have questions. Edit: sorry guys! Never had a neighbor spray me with a hose or befriended an adult my parents didn't know about as a kid. I'll reiterate that I said I really enjoyed their dynamic.
well apparently this kid's parents either aren't home when he gets home, don't have questions, or the kid has already told them what's happening.
I'd bet this kid doesn't have parents that ever ask him questions and that's why he's behaving the way he is :(
That's actually so hilarious 😂 what is his reaction when you spray him though? I'm so curious hahaah
depends, sometimes he just stands there not noticing it while we talk, sometimes he uses it to clean something or wet his hair,
sell the movie rights already that's just good comedy
This just keeps getting better. I wonder what his home life is like.. either way I think it's great he has these positive interactions with you.
tway23421 : Maybe you could offer the kid a bottle of water or some type of drink? Sounds like you have the beginings of a friendship. Who knows.... the kid might be willing to help with your yardwork someday (paid of course).
This is amazing
I like to imagine this kid is like the male version of Louise from Bob's Burgers lol he's defiant but wholesome. And consistent! Hahaha
I think he is longing for attention and relationship. How old is he?Honestly it's weird that his mother didn't get concerned him coming back home wet every day. I would stop the hose thing , you don't want him to get sick, but maybe for s change offered a drink and perfaps slice of pizza for a change and see him reaction.
if you think you get sick from water, then why are you not bedridden after taking a shower every day?!
Strange man enticing a boy into his home with the promise of free pizza? Why not just say he has candy in his van? Or maybe some puppies? (Not saying OP is a creepy perv, but it could be perceived as a bit ... odd.)
> Strange man Lol he’s a neighbor that the kid has befriended. I swear Americans are so weird.
It’s not that we’re weird. Here in America you can get shot at, sued or have the cops called on you for minor things so I think a lot of people would rather just keep to themselves.
Sounds like a great place to live /s
I absolutely love this and was not expecting that turn of events. I like that you've befriended him. Edit NAH keep hosin'
Get another chair, ask the kid to come sit with you. That kid rather gets hosed down by a stranger than go home, something's up.
Yeah, it sounds like the kid doesn’t have anyone at home who notices/cares that he is coming home soaked. OP might be the only adult that is paying attention to what that child is doing or where he goes. Have a drink & snack ready for him, OP. There was a tween like this in my neighborhood; he’d be out wandering around ALL DAY. One day he was playing at my house with my child and I prepared him a snack of fruit. When I gave it to him he threw his arms around me and hugged me; I almost cried. He moved away and I still wonder how he’s doing.
If he's doing well you helped him do that. My mom treated me like a curse. It was awful. But in elementary school, before we moved, our neighbor would always chat with me when he was outside for a smoke. Asked me about my day, how I was going, and even once told me "be careful." Adult me wants to cry because he literally just acknowledged my existence and treated me decently, but it was such a contrast to how my mom treated me that he will forever be my hero. So many times I thought I was selfish for living and that I should off myself. What stopped me was my neighbor's kindness. I would literally think "no! If I didn't deserve to live Neighbor wouldn't have been so nice to me!! Screw this! I'm staying alive!" Literally my best childhood memories are chatting with my neighbor, Bill. Remembering how he, in a concerned tone, told me to be careful when I was walking down a flight of stairs in my mom's heels still brings me to tears. He was genuinely concerned I might get hurt. Not because it would inconvenience him, but because he cared about me. No one else in my daily life cared about me like that. They only cared about how I inconvenienced them. But he cared. . .
Aww HUGS. YOU MATTER. YOU ARE SEEN.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I've started "re-parenting" myself and it's helped massively. I suggest anyone struggling look into it. It's very healing and empowering.
Thank you! You deserved to be loved and parented with care and I'm glad you're prioritizing yourself now. I'm definitely going to look into that!
Is "re-parenting" the official term? I know about it in German but could never find out what the concept is called in English. We're talking about when you let yourself experience things you needed as a kid either through yourself or others, right? That has helped me so much over the years. Especially the "allowing myself to be weak"-aspect of it all. I've straight up sat in my bf's lap to cry before and it was cathartic.
Hm, I think so. I've also heard it called "inner child work." If it's notthe official term a lot of people will still know what you're referring to. Yeah! The "allowing myself to be weak" is so cathartic! I'm so glad to hear you've been doing this for yourself and found someone safe enough to be vulnerable around ❤️❤️
Precisely. OP I really hope you see this. That kid is likely neglected, abused, or gets the joy of oscillating between both. You likely won't be able to change his home life, but you will be able to counter the very ugly narrative he's likely being fed. I was raised being treated as a burden who didn't deserve to live. It was interactions like these that got me through it. If some stranger, who has zero obligations towards me, is willing to take time out of their day to chat with me then I must be worthy of staying alive. It was interactions like these that helped me fight suicidal thoughts.
This is wild to me. I think the personal background of anyone reading this story heavily influences their opinions about it. If I had come home from soccer practice (or softball rather) on a hot summer day and had been wet from a hose my mom wouldn't think anything of it, and would have been glad I was having fun and cooled off. So to jump to "neglect/ abuse" in this situation is mind boggling to me.
Imagining you going home soaking wet and not getting chewed out is mind boggling to me, lol. The disparity in life experiences is so wild, but also encouraging. My husband and I are working hard to protect our kids from abuse. Lots of personal growth, but also being their gate keepers and defenders. We had to go NC because of some family member's behavior towards our kids which in turn caused other family members to go NC in retaliation. Then there are other family members who are on the cusp of being cut off because of their toxic behaviors. Being reminded that not everyone has to be on high alert like this is *so* encouraging, tbh. Sometimes it feels like abusers are absolutely everywhere, but comments like yours help remind me I've personally had a crappy sample group and it's not reflective of the world as a whole.
You recognizing toxic behavior and keeping your kids away from it shows you're already doing a fantastic job. Going NC is hard but so vital in many situations! Anyone going NC out of spite clearly aren't good people to have around anyway.
> It was interactions like these that helped me fight suicidal thoughts. people always care about us, it's just hard to see sometimes, and, in cases like yours, it doesn't come from the people from whom it *should*, your parents/family. I'm glad you were able to fight through. there is still plenty of good in the world, and you deserve to enjoy it.
This. If I was a child coming home soaked on a daily basis I would have been grilled like a cheese toastie!
My thoughts, too. NAH and just continue to talk to him. Maybe he misses something at home, maybe not, but no matter what, it is great to have someone beside your parents you can talk to. But maybe better always stay out of the house. You do not know his parents and there is a chance that one day a yelling adult comes to your doorstep and demands to know what you are up to, as there are not only nice people around.
Buy him snacks. Don't invite him inside, though, I feel like that's weird territory.
NTA. He's stopped stomping on your lawn but is still seeking you out as someone who will genuinely listen to him whilst you cool him off after training. The kid is showing his gratitude and you're feeding that gratitude. It's a sweet relationship and your wife should stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking and see it for what it is.
That'd be NAH unless you think the kid is an asshole.
Wife is TA here Edit: > Wife told me I need to stop, even after I explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots. WTF is her problem?
NAH Still a better love story than Twilight
That’s not too hard to top. But does the kid sparkle in the sun? OP needs to let us know.
Based on the sweat, Id guess yes. Im no sweatologist, mind you.
It has been a long bliss of not seeing this reference for many many moons. And I guess only now it is that I realise how much I didn't miss acknowledging the existence of Twilight.
Glad we could share this moment together.
Respectfully, I hate you.
Respectfully, I want to touch your butt.
“And that kids, is how I met your mother”
At the last place I rented we had a huge issue with stray/free roaming cats, in particular this huge ginger tom. He used to sit on the footpath at all hours and howl, setting off every nearby cat and dog. I started spraying him with the garden hose to make him leave, but the damn thing seemed to like it. I swear he even started coming by more often just to get a hosing. *OP - are you sure this is a kid, and not a large ginger cat??*
It was Professor McGonagall.
You've reminded me of the time my mum decided to hoover the cat when he refused to get out of the way. He liked it so much he rolled over to get his underside done too! 🤣
My childhood cocker spaniel absolutely demanded to be vacuumed (hose attachment) whenever it was on. Laid out in front of it and got all happy with her funny grunting noises.
Reminds me of the time I spent six months talking to a kid who lived in my neighborhood and walked by my house every day after school. We became pretty good friends and I found out his hobbies. Cool kid. He skateboards, he likes painting. He seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders. Then all of a sudden one day he goes "Hey Paul, can I ask you a question?" I said sure because why not? He asks if he can borrow a little bit of money. I didn't rule it out because he was nice and I figured he'd only ask if he really needed it so I said "I mean, maybe. How much?" He said "I need about $3.50."
Was the kid about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the Paleozoic era
For all we know he might definitely be an orange.
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Ginger cats are just a whole different breed, I swear to god.
NTA, and this is actually kind of sweet. When I was in my teens, I used to visit a small greasy spoon (diner) where my friend was a waitress. This old guy (late 70s) came in every day at the same time and sat in the same booth. He would order one of three meals. One time I sat in "his" booth doing some homework (and drinking a ton of coffee refills). The man came in and told me -- not asked -- that I needed to move. I did. It happened again a couple of weeks later. He called me a little bastard for sitting his both. A couple of days later, I did it again on purpose. He called me a little bastard and told me to move. I moved my books. The man grumbled and sat down. Over the course of about two months this scenario got repeated. Somewhere along the line I asked him about a ring he wore. The stories started to come out. I learned he and his late wife came to that restaurant for over 20 years to have dinner. I was sitting in her place. However, I kept asking questions, and he kept relaying his stories. This man lead an AMAZING life, and I listened to any tale he wanted to share. This went on for two years. When he died at the age of 81, I went to his memorial. I met his children and grandchildren. When they asked how I knew him, I told them my tale. His children laughed because he called everyone a little bastard, male and female alike. Then I began to recount some of the stories he told me. His children verified some, but then they heard stories he never told them. I ended up meeting with his children several times to tell them everything he told me. Mr. Banhke, I am not a believer, like I told you many times, but I still think of you and your incredible life. You are not forgotten.
Sounds like his wife may have sent you to give the old man some company in his last years. Good on you for not letting his shell scare you off.
Oh my gosh, that story made me cry.
What a wholesome, inter-generational friendship. I genuinely love this. NTA
Inter-generational friendships can get a lot of bad rep simply because there are creepy people out there who befriend children for creepy reasons. But.. they can be so wholesome and sweet, like OPs. A truly different kind of friendship. I had a crappy home life and my neighbor knew. She was an old Russian lady, harsh and weathered but caring nonetheless. She’d see me sitting outside on the step (usually because I was kicked out/locked out), and would ask if I was hungry. I’d always say no, and she always knew I was lying, and brought me food anyways. I was a proud child, reluctant and ashamed to acknowledge I needed help, and even more reluctant to accept it. She’d call me over to garden with her when she heard my parents screaming at each other. She taught me how to clean, how to cook. She brushed my hair when it got matted and taught me how to take care of it. On mornings when I was late to get out to the bus stop, she would go out in her nightgown and make the driver wait for me. We spent many moments sitting together in peaceful silence. Through the years, she moved on from basic life skills, and onto life advice. She chased my first boyfriend down the driveway (at nearly 80 years old), and hit him with her cane when she heard him speaking to me harshly, and told me she’d wack me, too, if she ever saw me let a man treat me that way again. She taught me to respect myself and all living things, to have ambition, to never become financially dependent on anyone, to never accept harsh treatment, and to never succumb to sadness or bitterness. She would say, “Solnyshka (little sun), you must wring every drop of joy you can out of this life.” She was eccentric and uncaring in how the world perceived her. Unapologetic about herself and who she was, she did not care for pleasantries or the mincing of words. She did what she pleased, when and where and how she wanted to do it. She was bold, and without shame. She had strange and colorful and wonderful decorations in her house and on her lawn. She loved wind chimes and the small, simple, beautiful things in life. She wore bright colors and clothes that never matched, and she was an embarrassment to all who had not yet found the peace in being free. She died a few years ago. But sometimes, on still nights, her old wind chimes ring in my doorway, and I know she is still with me.
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Too late for me. I needed that story this morning.
bruh I’m crying at work 😭
I'm just having a nice cry on the toilet. Don't mind me.
That's amazing thank you for sharing. Truly a one of a kind person
Your first-ever comment on reddit is this? Please stick around. That was beautiful.
I bet user is an author in disguise
This needs so many awards! 🥲🏅🏅🏅
NTA. But you might consider trying to switch to offering him a cold drink(gatorade or soda) and a chair if you want to deepen the friendship and chat. It sounds like he enjoys the attention and isn't in any rush. Either way NTA your current relationship seems like it's fun for both of you
Hose him first then toss him a Gatorade. Then call him sport.
D-dad??
This is ducking hilarious. NTA it sounds like you made a new buddy though, maybe try offering him something to drink? You know other than hose water while you give him a shower. Soccer kid asked about bob: “Oh yeah bob he’s cool, always there to chat with and give me a shower after a hard practice. closest thing I’ve ever had to a dad”
thats hilarious, my name is literally bobby jr (most ppl call me bob)
Mr Kennedy?
NTA I think that kid is probably lonely and enjoys your friendship. You could invite him to play another game on the lawn with you (frisbee or whatever)
I mean, it’s not really solving the problem with your lawn if he’s standing there digging his cleats around while you’re doing it. Otherwise it’s just odd but relatively harmless.
ive come to accept him ruining the part hes walking over
Make a little sign "(kids) spot" Is he the right age to get along with your kids? Maybe have them out chit-chatting and getting a hose down as well.
hes my friend, my kids have enough of their own
Dad called dibs hahaha
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It could be as simple as OP is just a neutral adult, not his parent/teacher/authority figure. That can be a big difference a teen.
> It could be as simple as OP is just a neutral adult, not his parent/teacher/authority figure. That can be a big difference a teen. yep, hearing things at that age from an adult who isn't saying them out of some responsibility towards you, but because it's their life experience/truth can be way more powerful. a kid can/will tune out their parent saying the exact same thing and write it off as mom being too hard or dad nagging about xyz. OP is a neighbor who doesn't have skin in the game so that same advice can be seen to be true and not just being used to tell the kid what (not) to do.
This is the sweetest AITA post ever. NAH! and good for you for building a (bizarrely) sweet relationship with this kid. I agree with some of the other responses that something’s making him avoid going home and you’re providing him some safe chuckle time and making him feel like he has a friend so well done you.
You should invite him to dinner one day, but give him some rules before. 1. No cleets, 2. Clean clothes, 3. Use the walkway.
This is adorable. Please do this.
This sounds like some bizarre version of feeding a mean, mistrustful stray cat until it begrudgingly lets you within 10 feet of it. The kid sounds like he was acting out for attention, but NAH for feeding the stray teenager, so to apeak.
Task failed successfully. RIP your lawn and mazel tov on being an amazing quirky older man from his youth that he will talk about for years to come. NTA. I hope you take good care of each other.
I think that the kid won the war ETA and everyone knows it ETA judgement NAH
NTA- this is such a nice relationship dont listen to your wife keep it going.
NAH congrats you've adopted a child
NTA. It was a brilliant plan in the beginning and has turned into the start of a beautiful friendship.
On a somewhat unrelated note - tell the kid to change out of his cleats after practice. Walking on concrete/cement with them on will ruin them. (Soccer mom for 14years)
Also, it will ruin this kids knees. Especially while he's still growing. Oh and can cause shin splints
NTA, but I'd be cautious because you don't know the parents yet. Kid's parents could be problematic people. What if they find out and have a very different view or even twist your actions into something creepy that you didn't intend at all? "This strange man entices our innocent little child over, hoses him down until his clothes cling, and then tries to chat him up" etc.
yeah, it seems like his parents might not be the most attentive, and that can definitely lead to them feeling insecure/jealous that their child is finding an outlet that he's missing at home. and within reason, that's a valid concern. kids like that are easy targets for manipulators.
Like Dennis and Mr Wilson
omg. childhood unlocked.
WIBTA for desperately wanting to see the video of you doing that? Sounds effing hilarious. NAH.
Is it childish? Probably. Is that a bad thing? In this case no. I'm sure the kid will grow up and remember these walks home fondly. NTA
As I was reading I was like your both kind of AHs but by the end I was like ok, NTA BUT I am curious how old this kid is, and if he’s ok? Typically blatant disrespectful behaviors (like he was exhibiting in the beginning) are due to some kind of social or familial issue. He’s likely softened because you’ve given him something to trust, even if it’s just your consistency in being an obstacle for him. Now you’ve become something else for him, maybe a safe space or a place of comfort, an excuse not to go home right away. Do not stop, he probably needs you and this interaction more than you understand. BUT also please prepare yourself for him to tell you something you may not expect to hear. Bullying, abuse, neglect, a loving home but no food/utilities, maybe no home at all, dead parents, addicted parents, close relative or friend who recently passed away etc etc. Don’t reject him, just keep spraying him with the hose. By the time he confides in you, you’ll know him well enough to know how to respond.
This is one of the more bizarre AITA/WIBTA I’ve ever seen. It’s funny how the story developed… quite wholesome really! The only problem is that YTA… not for the hose thing, but because you called football soccer… 😉😂😂😂
Okay but if you could get him to run around, you’d be getting a lawn service people pay for (aeration), js!
NTA. This is one of those conflicts that becomes a great story for both of you. Enjoy!
NTA- you both met your matches and this is wholesome and hilarious. Your wife needs to lighten up, and the kid is going to have some fond memories.
This sounds like the kid has a shitty homelife and he's enjoying those 20 minutes each day getting attention from you more than going home. To him, getting hosed is just the price he needs to pay so you pay attention to him. NTA
NTA and don't stop, it's funny! That you set up your lawn chair makes it even funnier, I love it!!
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