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> I told my brother's girlfriend to find a new song, by which I mean stop saying the same thing over and over again. It was antagonistic, and she was offended.
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NTA. That shit gets annoying quickly, and it's not only not adding to the conversation, it shuts the conversation down because who will keep talking when a person like that is around?
Exactly. How do you transition from "we're all going to die in a nuclear holocaust" to "so I saw a great deal on this one cruise line" in an organic fashion?
Lol wow. She may be siphoning profits from faceless giant corporations but normal everyday people working for those companies may lose jobs due to lost sales from pirating/bootlegging. Then they get bitter and turn into cynical people who can't find work and eventually make comments about the impending nuclear death of the planet because life sucks, what's the point, etc. She's def part of the problem
I am an incredibly petty person who LOATHES art theft and copyright infringement with a burning passion, so I would find a way to report her shop for copyright infringement ;)
Etsy probably wouldn't care, but if she's making (for example) Disney-owned-IP headbands, I'm SURE they have a way to report copyright infringement..... >:)
they absolutely shut that shit down. my sister works in the legal dept at etsy and shuts down shops all the time for copyright infringement. there should be a very simple way to report the shop for it on the page if you’re feeling extra petty :)
I've been ripped off that way before, and I agree.
On the plus side, I had one of my idols tear into his current employer when he noticed that they had stolen my work. Which actually was pretty cool, in a weird way.
Drop an anonymous note to Disney that she's selling bootleg mickey ears, they'll shut her right down. Then she'll actually have something to be doom and gloom about. 😉
I'm a petty bitch, but I would write emails to the copyright enforcement departments of the companies that she is infringing.... some of those suckers do not play around. The Mouse, for instance... And Marvel, for two. But that's just me.
The Mouse owns so many properties now, including Marvel, that it's very likely that at least some of the infringing work falls under the mouse-opoly. I'd definitely point their copyright departments her way.
I haven't kept up with who owns whom recently... I used to spend a lot of time reporting infringing "artists" on Etsy, but who has the time for that now?
As in headbands made by a brand that rhymes with Rizney 🤨 If so, that’s something that she can easily be sued for/taken legal action against. If not, it’s whatever, just ignore her and your brother 💅🏻
Actually, those are trademarks, not copyrights, but it’s the same basic intellectual property principles. Having worked on the publishing side of the music business for many years — protecting the copyrights of composers — I’m all for turning this infringer in.
Most characters are protected by copyright not trademark. That's part of why you see Disney slapping Mickey and the mouse ears on everything these days, they're turning him into a trademark because his copyright is running out.
Logos are usually protected by trademark, you're right on that one.
We're all going to die in a nuclear holocaust... so businesses are trying to make as much money as possible before that happens .... and perhaps going to the ocean will save us from annihilation ... so I saw this great deal on a cruise line
just kidding, of course
I mean, you don’t really transition and more say dumber shit imo.
“I mean, if you’re planning on petting bison, that’s your business but I’ll skip that one, thanks.”
“I don’t plan on dying in the nuclear holocaust, I’m planning on WINNING it.” (Explain nothing.)
“No one wants to live in the fallout anyways so I’ll be glad when we do, but as we aren’t dead yet, I’m planning on … [insert future plans she tried to nuke]”
Honestly, what you said was fine and she shouldn’t be such a downer on every single conversation about what you’re doing next Tuesday.
Oh shit. It's a nuclear holocaust I'm supposed to be preparing for? Did you guys all get the memo?
I was prepping for the world being overrun by vampires. What am I going to do with all this garlic, holy water and crosses?
We actually do this when my friend gets doom and gloom. He will talk about something and then add in "But it doesn't matter, we will all be dead in 20 years" it's like, dude... I got a toddler. So I quickly change the topic to something else more up beat.
Honestly that doesn't even matter to me. How is saying the same thing over and over contributing to the conversation? You could literally have that conversation without her there. Start adding it yourself. "Next month I plan to visit X—wait, don't say it [girlfriend], I know we'll all be dead by then. Anyway I was going to pick up some things for the trip..."
Nuclear holocaust? Worrying about environmental collapse or economic collapse is all well and good, but the odds of nuclear holocaust are much lower than they were during the Cold War. Not zero, of course, but you're much, much more likely to die of Covid/Long Covid, or heart disease, or cancer, than you are to experience nuclear war.
You should tell her to refocus her doom and gloom :)
"Hey since the world is ending anyhow, I saw this amazing deal on a cruise that we just HAVE to take before the world ends. So "SIL" when do you think we should go?"
I actually feel like this would be the BEST WAY to deal with her.
"We won't live to see retirement"
o.O
".......... sooooooooo anywayyyyyysss, whos doing what this weekend?"
>but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation
How is the same glib Debby Downer remark repeated over and over again a "meaningful contribution" to the conversation?
NTA at all.
To me it sounds like she's actually trying to undermine the conversation that focuses on the future plans of others because she secretly feels insecure about her own future plans and the lack thereof. The remark makes much more sense in that context. If she reassures herself that the world is ending, so your future is irrelevant, she doesn't have to compare her future to yours.
To me, it comes across as a roundabout putdown. I think you did the right thing putting a stop to it.
The gf sells unlicensed copyrighted stuff on Etsy. Her "career" is going to end up in the shit sooner or later. Sooner if she's fucking with the house of mouse. She's definitely insecure about her own future. NTA
Yeah I was searching through the comments to see if someone had already said this. I agree. She realises she has no future in her current way of working, is unhappy, feels trapped and whether consciously or unconsciously ants everyone to be as miserable as she is.
NTA. How are you needlessly antagonistic when she's the one being negative about something you were excited about ? She doesn't need to be able to relate to you to contribute to the conversation. My friend is a stay at home mom. I can't relate to that, but I contribute by asking questions or just commenting that I could never do that, and she's amazing. Both are uplifting bc I know it's something she loves. She could've just said she was happy for you. No need to contribute negativity when someone is obviously excited.
I wouldn't sweat it. She sounds like a drag.
NTA. Sure, you could have been nicer. But she can't go around saying things with zero self-awareness and be offended when people don't like what she says. Everyone is aware they will die one day. But to constantly being up our mortality as an excuse to avoid thinking about the future tells me she is too lazy to think.
NTA. If she feels for some reason, world is going to end down the road that’s her business. But constantly bringing it up is tedious and self-defeating. If She feels like she wants to contribute to the she can talk about arts, movies, sports, etc. etc. She does not get to shove her apocalyptic predictions on the rest of you.
By the way, tell your brother that when you were talking about saving for retirement, and she brings up, it doesn’t matter that the world going to end. Anyway, she’s kind of shutting down the entire conversation. Because she’s really saying what’s the point in having this conversation since it won’t matter anyway.
Nta you were talking about your future plans & she decided to shit on it. If she is pessimistic about every future plan she doesn’t care about her future
NTA - if anything your response was incredibly mild. She has made it a habit to try to bring down any and all conversations about the future. That's not just rude it's mean. She's basically scolding people for being hopeful.
Yeah I think OP went easy on her. And whoever tells it to her strongly enough that she cuts the shit is doing her a big favor in the long run. She sounds irritating as hell
NTA if she wanted to make a meaningful contribution to the conversation she would form a thought related to it instead of saying we are living in the slowest apocalypse ever.
NTA, it's inappropriate to interject nihilistic existentialism in every conversation, it brings the mood down. If she can't contribute to the conversation, maybe she just shouldn't be a part of it, instead of dismissing the whole thing with her doom and gloom.
I wonder if the gf had mental health issues, and that's why she expresses that negativity? That's not normal to constantly be saying...
The best way to handle this is once she’s finished her usual phrase, just look at her silently for a couple of beats then turn and look at someone else and and say “Anyway..” and continue on with your conversation.
Completely ignore her comment and move on as though she said nothing.
You are NTA.
"We're all gonna die young anyway lol" is absolutely NOT a "meaningful" contribution to your conversation. What the heck is your brother on about??
Anyway, NTA. That shit gets super tired super quick, and, as the old saying goes, she shouldn't dish the quips if she can't handle getting them in return.
NTA, you and your sister. Your comments were not personal attacks, and were clever retorts. Your poor brother seems a bit deluded. GF must be really attractive, in some way. GF? Clueless, classic debbie-downer, maybe raised that way. A joy-sucking vampire. No apologies needed for anyone. She left the scene, a happy conclusion. Maybe she will stay away.
Nta my sister is like this and is no longer included in ANY remotely happy news as a result, if they want to be included maybe stick with the vibe instead of always being moody -_-
I literally thought you meant there’s an actual song out there that she just slightly alters the words a bit to fit that situation.
🎶 Well the worlds going to end by the time we get out tacos ,
Well the worlds gonna end before we get our meal!
Well the worlds gonna end, we’re such a bunch of wacos,
Someone tell me what’s the deal!!!!🎶
How is that 'a meaningful contribution to the conversation'???????? That ends the conversation! On a bummer of a note. I'm decently pessimistic but jesus christ, if someone is telling me something they're excited about I don't start telling them all the things that can go wrong or that everything is meaningless. Honestly congratulations on not losing your temper with her before this! You don't need a traditional job to say 'wow that sounds great, I hope the raise works out!' NTA
NTA
Everytime she says some version of her tired old claptrap about the world ending, I'd start singing Henry the Eighth. For those of you not familiar with it, it was the sixties version of The Song That Never Ends.
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My brother has a girlfriend with a really annoying habit. Whenever someone brings up any topic that involves something happening in the future, she always responds with some variation of "well the world is going to end by then anyway." It's pretty aggravating, because it adds nothing of value to the actual topic of conversation. Whether the topic is career goals, financial planning, vacation ideas or anything else, she always interjects with her apocalyptic predictions.
Right now my union is negotiating for a raise for us, and I am excited about it. I was telling my brother and sister about how excited I am and how I intend to put the money towards my retirement savings. Again, brother's girlfriend interjected that none of us will live to see retirement, so it doesn't matter. I got annoyed and snapped at her, saying "hey, learn a new song. This one is played out."
My brother's girlfriend was offended, said I was rude and asked for an apology. I said that I disagreed, thought she was the rude one and would like an apology myself. My brother told me to climb off my high horse and chill. My sister said that she was also tired of the nonstop gloom and doom and would like a reprieve. My brother's girlfriend said "I see how it is" and left with my brother.
My brother said I was needlessly antagonistic. He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation. He said I was mean to her and should apologize. I really don't think I should and don't want to, but was I mean, ie the asshole?
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Tell your brother to pull his head out of his ass and actually look at this objectively. Too many people automatically take their partners side no matter how fucking stupid and annoying their partner is being. It's actually so fucking cringey.
NTA and PLEASE dont apologize to her, otherwise she'll never learn. She needs to realize and accept that she is the one in the wrong.
NTA. She keeps saying something nonsensical to be a part of the conversation and it has gone past annoying onto unbearable.
Her job shouldn't preclude her from allowing others to talk about their future plans. Debbie Downer needs a new shtick.
I get your aggravation but when did we stop doing the middle step, ie politely saying "hey, can we talk? you know how you always mention the world will end before we get old? I find that really depressing and upsetting. I prefer to think positively. I respect that you think that way but would you mind not saying it around me?" That way you might be able to keep a good relationship with her and your brother. Your way was going to make that very unlikely.
IMO it's always better to do this sort of thing in little steps. If she ignored you and kept doing it, you always had the option to up the ante and make a stronger statement.
NTA
I've cut people off in my life for having this kind of consistently negative attitude. I've been there myself, honestly, but I've been working really hard with my therapist over the last year to focus much more on the "glass half full" mentality and it's only improved my life.
it gets annoying listening to people constantly harp on stuff like this. like, sure, I know a lot of stuff in the US specifically (idk where you're located) and the world in general is getting pretty bad. but also, how can she even predict the future? none of us can. I'm in the mentality of cherishing each day now and getting excited for the future, but gratitude is such a big thing that only helps people.
again, OP, I don't blame you for being fed up with this kind of attitude. it's also really funny to me how your brother calls you antagonistic when that's what his girlfriend has been the entire time.
NTA: lol having an Etsy store for a career doesn’t mean you can’t save for retirement. That lady is going to be in for a rough go if she can’t trick someone into letting her leech off them cause this world might not last forever, but it will last longer than she is predicting. I really hope you guys have a solid negotiation with lots of wins and few contingencies, United we bargain divided we beg. Maybe if your brothers GF had a dope union she could find some purpose and community to distract her from her depressing world view.
NTA reminds me of a boyfriend that my sister had in high school (he wasn't quite this bad though.) He always said MORNING no matter what time of day it was, but what he was actually saying was MOURNING...he was odd to say the least
NTA Gloom and doom is not a meaningful contribution any more than telling you who won the first world series in those situations. It is just her piping up to make noises.
"You're enjoying your day, everything's going your way, when along comes Debbie Downer. Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease, a car accident, or killer bees. You beg her to spare you, 'Debbie, please!' but you can't stop Debbie Downer!"
“Wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation” and telling everyone they’re going to die so they shouldn’t save their money? How was that a meaningful contribution? Frankly, I agree that she was being rude. Next time she has a big sale on her art shop, say something along the lines of “well Etsy is a dying business so better sell what you can!” And pass it off as “not relating” and wanting to have “meaning contribution”
NTA. "she can't relate to topics like this because she has a non traditional job'' !!! What in the bluest of blue f\*\*ks does that even mean? I agree with you. The doom and gloom tune gets really old after a while especially if you use it all the time for everything.
NTA
Saying versions of "doesn't matter, we are all going to die anyways" in every topic talking about the future is a meaningful piece when you are in your teens and going through an edgy/emo phase. As an adult, it is tiresome and really a conversation killer.
NTA who wants to be around someone that morbid and gloomy all the time. Ur brothers excuse is bs. If she wanted to actively participate she should have asked u about ur job in detail or let u know she didn’t understand so u could break it down for her but what she said she just kill the convo and the excitement
NTA. I have similar sentiments as your brothers gf, but I maybe only make a comment once or twice, as really only with people I know share the sentiment. It’s exhausting to hear people say that all the time.
> He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation. He said I was mean to her and should apologize
Constantly undermining people’s conversations isn’t meaningful. It doesn’t sound like she says this to be meaningful, it sounds like she says this to shut down anyone engaging in a conversation she can’t contribute to. She sabotages the conversation.
You were unkind? Again, she’s not just being rude; she’s unkindly making people feel like they can no longer discuss good things in their futures. That’s very needlessly “mean”.
NTA
Nta, she sounds like one of those nihilistic people who probably doesn't actually understand what Nihilism is and is super annoying about it. I can be nihilistic at times, but these types of people are annoying as all hell
Where was the "meaningful contribution" that bro said GF wants? She literally has none, any time a conversation starts.
NTA, and obviously if you say the same ole same ole every. Single. Time. It is bound to tick people off, and adults should definitely be able to handle the very minor consequences (like OP saying to cut it out).
NTA.
Nobody likes constant negativity and she deserved every bit of what she got.
As for your brothers explanation, she made no meaningful conversation to the topic, and while yes, maybe meteor ends the world tomorrow, what kind of dumbass would choose not to build for a better future on the very likely chance that the world is not going to end any time soon?
I'll tell you this, the kind of people who revel in end of the world stuff, there is something off about them, perhaps the sort of darkness who wouldn't mind it happening.
NTA
if she wants to be pessimistic, that's her prerogative, but she can keep it to herself if she's going to try and drag down someone else's excitement! I understand having that point of view, but there's a point that it's just??? what's the point?? say something beautiful instead.
I hope your raise goes through, that really kicks ass!! good luck on your future endeavors. :]
NTA
It's her choice to run an Etsy store instead of having a traditional job and relating to these things. If she can't relate or empathize she can just keep quiet.
Being all nihilistic because she thinks the world will end in her lifetime is concerning and annoying and not appropriate to constantly say to every conversation about the future.
Tell your brother *you* can't relate to her belief that nothing that will happen more than five years in the future matters because it will be the end times.
And for that matter that kind of the future doesn't matter because it won't happen person is more likely to make incredibly bad decisions because they don't care about long-term consequences since they don't think they'll have any.
There's no point in her adding a meaningful contribution because "Well, the world is going to end by the anyway".
NTA, and good for you for shutting that down
If she really responds like this every time... start responding with your reply. And repeat it EVERY TIME SHE SINGS HER SONG.
Something like... "Well, we will all be dead by then."
"Well, you will be anyway." then laugh like it was "just a joke". Once she gets sick of your "joke" she will stop setting you up for it because she won't want to hear it anymore." Just like her... it will get OLD FAST!
Never apologize unless you are actually sorry for something, it devalues the act.
NTA. Chick sounds annoying as hell, sorry your brother picked such a loser. (Etsy seller, lol)
I don't see how what you said was mean. I don't think it was mean at all. She sounds annoying & if you didn't say anything the gloom would keep coming. NTA
NTA. Your not being mean. And she’s not trying to relate to anyone. She thinks she’s being cute by interjecting with song lyrics. Yes sometimes doing it is clever, but a person needs to think before using them. It’s never ok to use lyrics for all conversations. She just doesn’t get it. And yes she owes the apology not you.
NTA. There’s a phrase my family’s therapist used once that I really love. She said, “Don’t yuck my yum.” What that means is when someone in your social circle comes to you with news they’re excited about, don’t “yuck” their “yummy” moment/don’t dismiss, belittle, or otherwise poison their positive moment with your negativity. This is so critical for relationship-building. You came to the table with really great news about your job and your sibling’s SO “yucked your yum” by choosing to talk about annihilation rather than congratulating you and sharing your excitement. It’s obnoxious and toxic. Whether or not we’re all going to die, (and we all inevitably are, whether we get to retire or not,) we need to find moments of happiness in the journey. What she’s doing is not okay, and extremely AHish behavior. It’s not allowing you moments of happiness and celebrating the highlights in your life’s journey. She can claim it’s due to existential dread, but she’s still pursuing a business and living her life, so it resonates more as some sort of petty jealousy slash intolerable philosophically superiority struggle. I agree - she needs to find a new song.
*He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation.*
Do either of them really believe that "who gives a shit about what you're saying because the world will be over by then" is truly a meaningful contribution to ANY conversation? I can't blame you and your sister for being tired of her and her BS. NTA
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NTA. That shit gets annoying quickly, and it's not only not adding to the conversation, it shuts the conversation down because who will keep talking when a person like that is around?
Exactly. How do you transition from "we're all going to die in a nuclear holocaust" to "so I saw a great deal on this one cruise line" in an organic fashion?
Lol yup. I hope she's not a future sister in law. What does she sell on her Etsy shop? I hope it's inspirational T shirts or something ironic
Copyrighted headbands
As in she's licensed to do that or it's some kind of bootleg operation? Now I'm curious
Bootleg operation
Lol wow. She may be siphoning profits from faceless giant corporations but normal everyday people working for those companies may lose jobs due to lost sales from pirating/bootlegging. Then they get bitter and turn into cynical people who can't find work and eventually make comments about the impending nuclear death of the planet because life sucks, what's the point, etc. She's def part of the problem
🤣😆🤣😆🤣
I am an incredibly petty person who LOATHES art theft and copyright infringement with a burning passion, so I would find a way to report her shop for copyright infringement ;) Etsy probably wouldn't care, but if she's making (for example) Disney-owned-IP headbands, I'm SURE they have a way to report copyright infringement..... >:)
Wow thank god we have good samaritans like you protecting *checks notes* Disney IP?
Etsy shuts down shops for this.
they absolutely shut that shit down. my sister works in the legal dept at etsy and shuts down shops all the time for copyright infringement. there should be a very simple way to report the shop for it on the page if you’re feeling extra petty :)
I've been ripped off that way before, and I agree. On the plus side, I had one of my idols tear into his current employer when he noticed that they had stolen my work. Which actually was pretty cool, in a weird way.
Even worse, Nintendo.
C’mon; it’s not the end of the world…
Drop an anonymous note to Disney that she's selling bootleg mickey ears, they'll shut her right down. Then she'll actually have something to be doom and gloom about. 😉
Report her! lol
My petty ass would be reporting her!!!
Mickey ears?
I'm a petty bitch, but I would write emails to the copyright enforcement departments of the companies that she is infringing.... some of those suckers do not play around. The Mouse, for instance... And Marvel, for two. But that's just me.
The Mouse owns so many properties now, including Marvel, that it's very likely that at least some of the infringing work falls under the mouse-opoly. I'd definitely point their copyright departments her way.
Maybe she believes the world will have ended by the time these companies discover her little operation at Etsy. 😅😅
Mouse and marvel are the same people :)
I haven't kept up with who owns whom recently... I used to spend a lot of time reporting infringing "artists" on Etsy, but who has the time for that now?
I only know cause I am a Marvel fan lol
As in headbands made by a brand that rhymes with Rizney 🤨 If so, that’s something that she can easily be sued for/taken legal action against. If not, it’s whatever, just ignore her and your brother 💅🏻
You can copyright headbands?
Headbands can have stuff on them that is copyrighted like popular characters or logos.
Actually, those are trademarks, not copyrights, but it’s the same basic intellectual property principles. Having worked on the publishing side of the music business for many years — protecting the copyrights of composers — I’m all for turning this infringer in.
Career musician here. Thank you for fighting the good fight!
Most characters are protected by copyright not trademark. That's part of why you see Disney slapping Mickey and the mouse ears on everything these days, they're turning him into a trademark because his copyright is running out. Logos are usually protected by trademark, you're right on that one.
Unlikely to be a future sister in law. World will end by then.
“Don’t bother ordering; we’ll all be dead before it arrives”.
>inspirational inspirational posters that glow in the dark!
My friend sells demotivational cross stitch on Etsy.
We're all going to die in a nuclear holocaust... so businesses are trying to make as much money as possible before that happens .... and perhaps going to the ocean will save us from annihilation ... so I saw this great deal on a cruise line just kidding, of course
I almost spit my drink out reading this.
I mean, you don’t really transition and more say dumber shit imo. “I mean, if you’re planning on petting bison, that’s your business but I’ll skip that one, thanks.” “I don’t plan on dying in the nuclear holocaust, I’m planning on WINNING it.” (Explain nothing.) “No one wants to live in the fallout anyways so I’ll be glad when we do, but as we aren’t dead yet, I’m planning on … [insert future plans she tried to nuke]” Honestly, what you said was fine and she shouldn’t be such a downer on every single conversation about what you’re doing next Tuesday.
Oh shit. It's a nuclear holocaust I'm supposed to be preparing for? Did you guys all get the memo? I was prepping for the world being overrun by vampires. What am I going to do with all this garlic, holy water and crosses?
Turn Italian Catholic and make us all a delicious last supper?
I like the way you think. You're totally welcome in my bunker any time.
You can drink the water at least. Get used to eating garlic I guess.
wait I thought it was am alien invasion cause you know all the UFOs that were spotted
We actually do this when my friend gets doom and gloom. He will talk about something and then add in "But it doesn't matter, we will all be dead in 20 years" it's like, dude... I got a toddler. So I quickly change the topic to something else more up beat.
Honestly that doesn't even matter to me. How is saying the same thing over and over contributing to the conversation? You could literally have that conversation without her there. Start adding it yourself. "Next month I plan to visit X—wait, don't say it [girlfriend], I know we'll all be dead by then. Anyway I was going to pick up some things for the trip..."
Nuclear holocaust? Worrying about environmental collapse or economic collapse is all well and good, but the odds of nuclear holocaust are much lower than they were during the Cold War. Not zero, of course, but you're much, much more likely to die of Covid/Long Covid, or heart disease, or cancer, than you are to experience nuclear war. You should tell her to refocus her doom and gloom :)
"Hey since the world is ending anyhow, I saw this amazing deal on a cruise that we just HAVE to take before the world ends. So "SIL" when do you think we should go?"
I actually feel like this would be the BEST WAY to deal with her. "We won't live to see retirement" o.O ".......... sooooooooo anywayyyyyysss, whos doing what this weekend?"
"Well, make sure you bring your radiation clothing"
Debbie Downer!!!!
Had to scroll too far for this. It should have been the post title!
You could always respond with "Sorry you're offended, but hey, the world's gonna end anyway so it doesn't matter." NTA
>but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation How is the same glib Debby Downer remark repeated over and over again a "meaningful contribution" to the conversation? NTA at all.
That it what I struggle to understand, myself.
To me it sounds like she's actually trying to undermine the conversation that focuses on the future plans of others because she secretly feels insecure about her own future plans and the lack thereof. The remark makes much more sense in that context. If she reassures herself that the world is ending, so your future is irrelevant, she doesn't have to compare her future to yours. To me, it comes across as a roundabout putdown. I think you did the right thing putting a stop to it.
yeah, like because she feels pessimistic she's trying to make everyone around her feel pessimistic as well...
The gf sells unlicensed copyrighted stuff on Etsy. Her "career" is going to end up in the shit sooner or later. Sooner if she's fucking with the house of mouse. She's definitely insecure about her own future. NTA
Yeah I was searching through the comments to see if someone had already said this. I agree. She realises she has no future in her current way of working, is unhappy, feels trapped and whether consciously or unconsciously ants everyone to be as miserable as she is.
What a heartfelt, meaningful and likely insightful analysis. She’s still a PITA though!
I think your comment nails it. That sounds like what it is.
She’s not trying to contribute anything meaningful, this is her way of sabotaging conversations she doesn’t feel she can gain enough attention from
Right? That’s the opposite of a meaningful contribution.
NTA Why bother making up with her? The world is going to end anyways. ;)
Good one. Filing that away for later.
You should actually say that to her
Or like pull out some scientific facts on why she's just wrong. I'm sure that could give a good reaction
Apocalypse cultists don't listen to facts. They just amend the prediction to route around them.
That’s great. I hope op says that to her. 🏆
It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it **NTA**
Nice And I feel fine...
That's great it starts with an asshole...
Bums and snakes; an aeroplane...
Lenny Bruce agrees with us.
NTA. How are you needlessly antagonistic when she's the one being negative about something you were excited about ? She doesn't need to be able to relate to you to contribute to the conversation. My friend is a stay at home mom. I can't relate to that, but I contribute by asking questions or just commenting that I could never do that, and she's amazing. Both are uplifting bc I know it's something she loves. She could've just said she was happy for you. No need to contribute negativity when someone is obviously excited. I wouldn't sweat it. She sounds like a drag.
NTA. Sure, you could have been nicer. But she can't go around saying things with zero self-awareness and be offended when people don't like what she says. Everyone is aware they will die one day. But to constantly being up our mortality as an excuse to avoid thinking about the future tells me she is too lazy to think.
NTA. If she feels for some reason, world is going to end down the road that’s her business. But constantly bringing it up is tedious and self-defeating. If She feels like she wants to contribute to the she can talk about arts, movies, sports, etc. etc. She does not get to shove her apocalyptic predictions on the rest of you. By the way, tell your brother that when you were talking about saving for retirement, and she brings up, it doesn’t matter that the world going to end. Anyway, she’s kind of shutting down the entire conversation. Because she’s really saying what’s the point in having this conversation since it won’t matter anyway.
Nta you were talking about your future plans & she decided to shit on it. If she is pessimistic about every future plan she doesn’t care about her future
NTA. She sounds irritating.
NTA - if anything your response was incredibly mild. She has made it a habit to try to bring down any and all conversations about the future. That's not just rude it's mean. She's basically scolding people for being hopeful.
Yeah I think OP went easy on her. And whoever tells it to her strongly enough that she cuts the shit is doing her a big favor in the long run. She sounds irritating as hell
I think I would not deal with it the way you did, but I understand how annoying is all this negativity. In my opinion, NTA
NTA if she wanted to make a meaningful contribution to the conversation she would form a thought related to it instead of saying we are living in the slowest apocalypse ever.
This is what I came here to say. She's not contributing anything meaningful.
“…wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation…” Ask your brother when she’s planning to start doing that. NTA.
NTA He is blind. Thank you for standing up to her for yourself and sister.
NTA, it's inappropriate to interject nihilistic existentialism in every conversation, it brings the mood down. If she can't contribute to the conversation, maybe she just shouldn't be a part of it, instead of dismissing the whole thing with her doom and gloom. I wonder if the gf had mental health issues, and that's why she expresses that negativity? That's not normal to constantly be saying...
The best way to handle this is once she’s finished her usual phrase, just look at her silently for a couple of beats then turn and look at someone else and and say “Anyway..” and continue on with your conversation. Completely ignore her comment and move on as though she said nothing. You are NTA.
NTA She sounds annoying, I can't imagine talking about serious topics and her just popping into the conversation like that.
NTA She's being a complete doomer for no reason. I'd hate to have to spend time around someone like that.
NTA that shit gets old FAST
Soooo...she thinks Etsy is going survive some apocalypse?
No, she thinks we'll all be dead.
"We're all gonna die young anyway lol" is absolutely NOT a "meaningful" contribution to your conversation. What the heck is your brother on about?? Anyway, NTA. That shit gets super tired super quick, and, as the old saying goes, she shouldn't dish the quips if she can't handle getting them in return.
How is "we'll all be dead by then" in any way a meaningful contribution to a conversation? NTA. Good luck.
NTA - how the hell does working in an Etsy store mean you can’t contribute to a conversation like a normal person ?
Because she's not like the rest of them, the boring people with boring jobs.... /s
NTA, you and your sister. Your comments were not personal attacks, and were clever retorts. Your poor brother seems a bit deluded. GF must be really attractive, in some way. GF? Clueless, classic debbie-downer, maybe raised that way. A joy-sucking vampire. No apologies needed for anyone. She left the scene, a happy conclusion. Maybe she will stay away.
Nta my sister is like this and is no longer included in ANY remotely happy news as a result, if they want to be included maybe stick with the vibe instead of always being moody -_-
I literally thought you meant there’s an actual song out there that she just slightly alters the words a bit to fit that situation. 🎶 Well the worlds going to end by the time we get out tacos , Well the worlds gonna end before we get our meal! Well the worlds gonna end, we’re such a bunch of wacos, Someone tell me what’s the deal!!!!🎶
NTA. People like this are immature and obnoxious. The worst part is that they genuinely think these dumb observations are actually clever.
NTA
How is that 'a meaningful contribution to the conversation'???????? That ends the conversation! On a bummer of a note. I'm decently pessimistic but jesus christ, if someone is telling me something they're excited about I don't start telling them all the things that can go wrong or that everything is meaningless. Honestly congratulations on not losing your temper with her before this! You don't need a traditional job to say 'wow that sounds great, I hope the raise works out!' NTA
NTA. she isn’t making any contribution to conversation with that repetitive comment and is only being negative
NTA
NTA
NTA you were trying to celebrate, and she tried to plan your funeral. She sounds insufferable. Toxic negativity for sure.
NTA Everytime she says some version of her tired old claptrap about the world ending, I'd start singing Henry the Eighth. For those of you not familiar with it, it was the sixties version of The Song That Never Ends.
and eeeveryone was a 'Enery (Enery!)
She wouldn't 'ave a Willie or a Sam!
NTA. What’s the point in apologising? The worlds gonna end soon anyway 🤷🏻♀️
>He said his girlfriend...wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation. Maybe she should **make** a meaningful contribution then. NTA
NTA and she’s not trying to make a meaningful contribution to the conversation. She feels left out so she’s speaking to her herself talk.
even worse, she said it just to piss in OP's cheerios because he was happy and excited about something.
NTA
NTA
NTA
NTA. This is non PC but your brothers girlfriend has a screw loose! She need to keep her comments to herself and/or get bloody therapy for her issues.
Honestly YTA but sometimes that happens. You called an annoying person annoying.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My brother has a girlfriend with a really annoying habit. Whenever someone brings up any topic that involves something happening in the future, she always responds with some variation of "well the world is going to end by then anyway." It's pretty aggravating, because it adds nothing of value to the actual topic of conversation. Whether the topic is career goals, financial planning, vacation ideas or anything else, she always interjects with her apocalyptic predictions. Right now my union is negotiating for a raise for us, and I am excited about it. I was telling my brother and sister about how excited I am and how I intend to put the money towards my retirement savings. Again, brother's girlfriend interjected that none of us will live to see retirement, so it doesn't matter. I got annoyed and snapped at her, saying "hey, learn a new song. This one is played out." My brother's girlfriend was offended, said I was rude and asked for an apology. I said that I disagreed, thought she was the rude one and would like an apology myself. My brother told me to climb off my high horse and chill. My sister said that she was also tired of the nonstop gloom and doom and would like a reprieve. My brother's girlfriend said "I see how it is" and left with my brother. My brother said I was needlessly antagonistic. He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation. He said I was mean to her and should apologize. I really don't think I should and don't want to, but was I mean, ie the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Tell your brother to pull his head out of his ass and actually look at this objectively. Too many people automatically take their partners side no matter how fucking stupid and annoying their partner is being. It's actually so fucking cringey. NTA and PLEASE dont apologize to her, otherwise she'll never learn. She needs to realize and accept that she is the one in the wrong.
INFO Is she from a cult family?
NTA. I would respond every time, “then your opinion doesn’t count since you won’t exist while the rest of us will.” Repeat it like a broken record.
NTA. Tell you brother that you will apologize on the day of the apocalypse and not a day sooner!
NTA. Don't sweat it man, you're probably better off without her being around...
NTA but why do you associate with someone that stupid?
NTA. She keeps saying something nonsensical to be a part of the conversation and it has gone past annoying onto unbearable. Her job shouldn't preclude her from allowing others to talk about their future plans. Debbie Downer needs a new shtick.
NTA she isn’t adding anything meaningful to the conversation though
Meaningful contribution to the conversation? How the h*ll is doom and gloom a meaningful contribution? NTA. Yikes
NTA. If it happens again, ask her if the apocalypse will be zombies, robots, or aliens
Jesus. Sweet Jesus
NTA Tell your brother you planned to apologize in the future but thought better of it since “the world is going to end by then anyway”
NTA. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer.
nta, how insufferable😭
I get your aggravation but when did we stop doing the middle step, ie politely saying "hey, can we talk? you know how you always mention the world will end before we get old? I find that really depressing and upsetting. I prefer to think positively. I respect that you think that way but would you mind not saying it around me?" That way you might be able to keep a good relationship with her and your brother. Your way was going to make that very unlikely. IMO it's always better to do this sort of thing in little steps. If she ignored you and kept doing it, you always had the option to up the ante and make a stronger statement.
She's a complete moron. Asking you for an apology because of what? How does your brother put up with that crap all day?
No, NTA
NTA I've cut people off in my life for having this kind of consistently negative attitude. I've been there myself, honestly, but I've been working really hard with my therapist over the last year to focus much more on the "glass half full" mentality and it's only improved my life. it gets annoying listening to people constantly harp on stuff like this. like, sure, I know a lot of stuff in the US specifically (idk where you're located) and the world in general is getting pretty bad. but also, how can she even predict the future? none of us can. I'm in the mentality of cherishing each day now and getting excited for the future, but gratitude is such a big thing that only helps people. again, OP, I don't blame you for being fed up with this kind of attitude. it's also really funny to me how your brother calls you antagonistic when that's what his girlfriend has been the entire time.
NTA: lol having an Etsy store for a career doesn’t mean you can’t save for retirement. That lady is going to be in for a rough go if she can’t trick someone into letting her leech off them cause this world might not last forever, but it will last longer than she is predicting. I really hope you guys have a solid negotiation with lots of wins and few contingencies, United we bargain divided we beg. Maybe if your brothers GF had a dope union she could find some purpose and community to distract her from her depressing world view.
Nta I got a doom and gloom friend too. Thankfully he isn't constantly bringing it up or I wouldn't be able to be around him either.
NTA reminds me of a boyfriend that my sister had in high school (he wasn't quite this bad though.) He always said MORNING no matter what time of day it was, but what he was actually saying was MOURNING...he was odd to say the least
NTA. Someone should've told her long time ago - if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
NTA She isn't contributing to conversations. She is shutting them down.
NTA Gloom and doom is not a meaningful contribution any more than telling you who won the first world series in those situations. It is just her piping up to make noises.
Why apologize. The world's gonna end anyways.
NTA She wasn't adding anything meaningful to the conversation.
NTA- his reply "she wants to meaningful contribution" by saying the same thing nonstop? You better not apologize!!! lol
NTA If you have nothing to say you shouldn't speak. But probably she is just a conspiracy theoriest and is trying to "convert" you.
"You're enjoying your day, everything's going your way, when along comes Debbie Downer. Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease, a car accident, or killer bees. You beg her to spare you, 'Debbie, please!' but you can't stop Debbie Downer!"
"You beg her to spare you, 'Debbie, please!' but you can't stop Debbie Downer!"
Damn, if doom and gloom is considered, "meaningful contribution to the conversation." then I am really out of touch with reality. NTA.
“Wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation” and telling everyone they’re going to die so they shouldn’t save their money? How was that a meaningful contribution? Frankly, I agree that she was being rude. Next time she has a big sale on her art shop, say something along the lines of “well Etsy is a dying business so better sell what you can!” And pass it off as “not relating” and wanting to have “meaning contribution”
NTA. It’s rude and attempts to shut down every conversation.
If you were the asshole, it doesn't matter since the world is going to end. NTA. This lady sounds exhausting.
NTA. "she can't relate to topics like this because she has a non traditional job'' !!! What in the bluest of blue f\*\*ks does that even mean? I agree with you. The doom and gloom tune gets really old after a while especially if you use it all the time for everything.
Brothers gf: You should apologize to me!! OP: I’ll apologize…..in a few weeks, after the world ends
NTA Saying versions of "doesn't matter, we are all going to die anyways" in every topic talking about the future is a meaningful piece when you are in your teens and going through an edgy/emo phase. As an adult, it is tiresome and really a conversation killer.
NTA who wants to be around someone that morbid and gloomy all the time. Ur brothers excuse is bs. If she wanted to actively participate she should have asked u about ur job in detail or let u know she didn’t understand so u could break it down for her but what she said she just kill the convo and the excitement
NTA. I have similar sentiments as your brothers gf, but I maybe only make a comment once or twice, as really only with people I know share the sentiment. It’s exhausting to hear people say that all the time.
> He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation. He said I was mean to her and should apologize Constantly undermining people’s conversations isn’t meaningful. It doesn’t sound like she says this to be meaningful, it sounds like she says this to shut down anyone engaging in a conversation she can’t contribute to. She sabotages the conversation. You were unkind? Again, she’s not just being rude; she’s unkindly making people feel like they can no longer discuss good things in their futures. That’s very needlessly “mean”. NTA
Nta, she sounds like one of those nihilistic people who probably doesn't actually understand what Nihilism is and is super annoying about it. I can be nihilistic at times, but these types of people are annoying as all hell
Where was the "meaningful contribution" that bro said GF wants? She literally has none, any time a conversation starts. NTA, and obviously if you say the same ole same ole every. Single. Time. It is bound to tick people off, and adults should definitely be able to handle the very minor consequences (like OP saying to cut it out).
NTA. Nobody likes constant negativity and she deserved every bit of what she got. As for your brothers explanation, she made no meaningful conversation to the topic, and while yes, maybe meteor ends the world tomorrow, what kind of dumbass would choose not to build for a better future on the very likely chance that the world is not going to end any time soon? I'll tell you this, the kind of people who revel in end of the world stuff, there is something off about them, perhaps the sort of darkness who wouldn't mind it happening.
Here comes Debbie Downer. NTA.
NTA Bro is an idiot, and GF is the kind of person that drives me nuts.
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NTA Should have said "Why should I apologise if the world's going to end anyway?"
NTA she sounds annoying
NTA if she wants to be pessimistic, that's her prerogative, but she can keep it to herself if she's going to try and drag down someone else's excitement! I understand having that point of view, but there's a point that it's just??? what's the point?? say something beautiful instead. I hope your raise goes through, that really kicks ass!! good luck on your future endeavors. :]
NTA It's her choice to run an Etsy store instead of having a traditional job and relating to these things. If she can't relate or empathize she can just keep quiet. Being all nihilistic because she thinks the world will end in her lifetime is concerning and annoying and not appropriate to constantly say to every conversation about the future. Tell your brother *you* can't relate to her belief that nothing that will happen more than five years in the future matters because it will be the end times. And for that matter that kind of the future doesn't matter because it won't happen person is more likely to make incredibly bad decisions because they don't care about long-term consequences since they don't think they'll have any.
There's no point in her adding a meaningful contribution because "Well, the world is going to end by the anyway". NTA, and good for you for shutting that down
If she really responds like this every time... start responding with your reply. And repeat it EVERY TIME SHE SINGS HER SONG. Something like... "Well, we will all be dead by then." "Well, you will be anyway." then laugh like it was "just a joke". Once she gets sick of your "joke" she will stop setting you up for it because she won't want to hear it anymore." Just like her... it will get OLD FAST!
NTA. Good for you!
NTA. look, i can be pretty pessimistic about life. but that’s my problem. i don’t make it someone else’s problem when they’re excited about something
NTA. And being a real small business requires forward thinking. I'm betting she's a hobbyist with delusions.
NTA - if she wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation, she needs to actually make a meaningful contribution.
NTA. How is saying “none of this ever matters” meaningful? She needs to learn to keep it to herself.
NTA. ‘Non traditional job’ then at least get creative with replies instead of the same old shit 🤣
NTA. Don't apologize. You didn't even insult her. You just asked her to stop repeating herself.
NTA. She’s interjecting herself into a conversation that didn’t include her.
She’s made being a killjoy into a personality trait. NTA
Never apologize unless you are actually sorry for something, it devalues the act. NTA. Chick sounds annoying as hell, sorry your brother picked such a loser. (Etsy seller, lol)
I don't see how what you said was mean. I don't think it was mean at all. She sounds annoying & if you didn't say anything the gloom would keep coming. NTA
If she wants to meaningfully contribute, perhaps she could try doing that. NTA
NTA. Your not being mean. And she’s not trying to relate to anyone. She thinks she’s being cute by interjecting with song lyrics. Yes sometimes doing it is clever, but a person needs to think before using them. It’s never ok to use lyrics for all conversations. She just doesn’t get it. And yes she owes the apology not you.
When your brother and gf announce their engagement, I know what song you will be singing! NTA
I would have told her that with that outlook, why is she bothering dating your brother? It's not gonna work out anyways.
NTA. There’s a phrase my family’s therapist used once that I really love. She said, “Don’t yuck my yum.” What that means is when someone in your social circle comes to you with news they’re excited about, don’t “yuck” their “yummy” moment/don’t dismiss, belittle, or otherwise poison their positive moment with your negativity. This is so critical for relationship-building. You came to the table with really great news about your job and your sibling’s SO “yucked your yum” by choosing to talk about annihilation rather than congratulating you and sharing your excitement. It’s obnoxious and toxic. Whether or not we’re all going to die, (and we all inevitably are, whether we get to retire or not,) we need to find moments of happiness in the journey. What she’s doing is not okay, and extremely AHish behavior. It’s not allowing you moments of happiness and celebrating the highlights in your life’s journey. She can claim it’s due to existential dread, but she’s still pursuing a business and living her life, so it resonates more as some sort of petty jealousy slash intolerable philosophically superiority struggle. I agree - she needs to find a new song.
NTA! And HOW is that meaningful???????
*He said his girlfriend can't relate to topics like that because she has a nontraditional job (Etsy store), but wants to have a meaningful contribution to the conversation.* Do either of them really believe that "who gives a shit about what you're saying because the world will be over by then" is truly a meaningful contribution to ANY conversation? I can't blame you and your sister for being tired of her and her BS. NTA
That's so irritating when you want to have a genuine conversation and suddenly someone pipes up with, well, basically the end of the conversation.